"You Have A Cold. Again." (non-spec. gender)

[Chanel_no5]

***Note***

300 word drabble happened for no reason. Gender unspecified.

Enjoy!  

***

You have a cold.

Again.  

Yes, I know you’ll try to play it off as nothing, because God forbid you’d ever admit to anything that can be perceived as a weakness. But just because you refuse to admit it doesn’t mean you’re not ill.

You think I’m asleep now when you return from that business trip, so you probably assume I don’t hear you sneeze in the shower, over and over, those raw and helpless sneezes that only colds seem to coax out of you. When you’re allergic (and oh dear how allergic you were this spring, I’ve never seen anything like it before) you sneeze in rapid fits, tickly, eager sneezes that sound like they all want to come out simultaneously. Five, ten, fifteen in a row with barely a breath between, always starting with stifles as if you think that this time, unlike last time, and each time before that, you’ll be able to keep them neatly contained and reasonably quiet. Then you always end the fit with a couple of full bodied, harsh, and loud ones, thinking that will quell the tickle for good. Only it never does. It always returns to force more of those fervently itchy fits out of your poor nose.

Your cold sneezes are a different story altogether. They come in doubles and triples, and sometimes it seems they only give you a break to allow you to blow your nose. Which in turn only seems to aggravate the unrelenting prickle that lurks behind the congestion. Your cold sneezes are much deeper, and slower – as if they enjoy torturing you for as long as they possibly can, each sneeze demanding your full attention – and so, so much wetter. Good thing you’re in the shower right now.

In fact, I just might join you.

 

[SneezyHolmes]

Wow..this was quite enjoyable to read, Chanel! 

[Sneezingnonstop]

Lovely writing as always Chanel, loved all of the descriptions

[Kaze Wo Hiku]

Ohhhh yessssss

[Secret Sneezer]

This is really good! Even though there weren't any described sneezes, it still felt like there were because of those detailed scenarios! you did great! 

[Subtly Clashing Wishes]

I really liked the voyeuristic slant this had. The way the narrator was describing the sneezes and sneezing as if the other person didn't know they were being observed just added another layer of goodness to this ficlet. Marvelous as always. 

[Shamaël]

That was amazing. II'm aware my comment isn't very original, but thanks for sharing! I really enjoyed the fact it was written in the second person. It made the scene more... real, in a way.

[RemedyBane]

I'm in love with this!!!!!!!!!! please please please write more? it felt so sultry like i was watching an old PI  film. if you wrote more, i'd melt.

 

[ham4ham]

this is beautiful <3

[SleepingPhlox]

I love this.  I remember you did an allergy one in a similar fashion and I love the idea of being able to imagine any identity onto the characters in the story.  Damn but you have such a way of turning a phrase, and I like the idea of people being so close that they notice little things like their cold and allergy sneezes being different, not because there's any fetishy significance to them but because when you care about someone you pay attention to the little mundane things like that.

[Chanel_no5]

On ‎2017‎-‎09‎-‎04 at 9:01 PM, SneezyHolmes said:

Wow..this was quite enjoyable to read, Chanel! 

Thank you!  

On ‎2017‎-‎09‎-‎04 at 9:05 PM, Sneezingnonstop said:

Lovely writing as always Chanel, loved all of the descriptions

I'm glad you enjoyed.  

On ‎2017‎-‎09‎-‎04 at 9:21 PM, Kaze wo Hiku said:

Ohhhh yessssss

 

On ‎2017‎-‎09‎-‎04 at 10:53 PM, ihazakitty said:

This is really good! Even though there weren't any described sneezes, it still felt like there were because of those detailed scenarios! you did great! 

Thank you! I had fun writing it, too. ^^

On ‎2017‎-‎09‎-‎04 at 11:52 PM, Sanguine Cheerful Worrier said:

I really liked the voyeuristic slant this had. The way the narrator was describing the sneezes and sneezing as if the other person didn't know they were being observed just added another layer of goodness to this ficlet. Marvelous as always. 

Thank you! I couldn't decide whether or not to have the narrator being a fetishist, so I tried to keep that vague as well.

On ‎2017‎-‎09‎-‎05 at 8:00 PM, Aliena H. said:

That was amazing. II'm aware my comment isn't very original, but thanks for sharing! I really enjoyed the fact it was written in the second person. It made the scene more... real, in a way.

Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it! Second person narrative can be tricky to get to work, it pretty much only works when you don't plan it in advance but just let it happen. ^^

On ‎2017‎-‎09‎-‎07 at 4:36 AM, RemedyBane said:

I'm in love with this!!!!!!!!!! please please please write more? it felt so sultry like i was watching an old PI  film. if you wrote more, i'd melt.

 

Thank you! I probably won't do a direct continuation to this one, because that would waver into 18+ and that would make the gender vagueness difficult to keep up. HOWEVER, I do plan on writing a similar piece soon, so keep an eye out.  

On ‎2017‎-‎09‎-‎07 at 5:39 PM, ham4ham said:

this is beautiful <3

Thank you!  

 

On ‎2017‎-‎09‎-‎07 at 9:11 PM, SleepingPhlox said:

I love this.  I remember you did an allergy one in a similar fashion and I love the idea of being able to imagine any identity onto the characters in the story.  Damn but you have such a way of turning a phrase, and I like the idea of people being so close that they notice little things like their cold and allergy sneezes being different, not because there's any fetishy significance to them but because when you care about someone you pay attention to the little mundane things like that.

 Awwww, you.... thank you so much!  It is kinda fun to try and keep the characters' identities vague once in a while. But it is frighteningly difficult to keep from adding gender-specifics after a while.