Can you give someone the fetish?

[Alex1355]

So an exciting development, I think my fiancé now has the fetish. When I told her about it a couple of years ago she was surprised but very supportive. Recently however some great obs have happened.

she told me when she was at work the PE teacher gave her a massage as she had a sore shoulder. He sneezed four loud sneezes and this apparently got her quite excited. 

The best one though was during a couples massage. The girl that was doing her was very sniffly and let out a loud girly sneeze while massaging her. My fiancé caught my eye and winked.

she also now likes it when I sneeze and gets excited by her own sneezes. Is this possible? Can she have got the fetish from me?

[beatlelover22]

I think it's totally possible! Kind of like Pavlov's dogs, right? Like if she's aware you enjoy it, she might be more inclined to enjoy it herself, you know?

[Alex1355]

44 minutes ago, beatlelover22 said:

I think it's totally possible! Kind of like Pavlov's dogs, right? Like if she's aware you enjoy it, she might be more inclined to enjoy it herself, you know?

I love that we can apply a scientific principle to this lol. Imagine the study we could conduct. For science of course not because it would be awesome.

[PuddinPop]

I think it's probably more of a 'fetish by association' sort of deal. I don't think people can actually 'catch' fetishes, as I personally believe that they are something engrained into our psyche that we can't control. I never chose to have a sneezing fetish, it's just always been there for me. Just the same as I can't choose to have, for example, a foot fetish. I just don't get turned on by feet, and I imagine I never will. Which again, is not something I can control. If I wanted to get turned on by feet, I'd be able to if fetishes were a choice. However, I cannot. 

It sounds to me more like your fiance is into what you like. Sort of like a fetish fetish. Y'know, a fetish for your fetish, regardless of what it is. It's nice that she's taking an active interest, but I do feel like the fact that it is sneezing is irrelevant; if you had a different fetish, it sounds like she would probably be able to get into that too. For a lot of people, they like doing things that they know their partners enjoys. So in my opinion, I wouldn't say you gave her a sneezing fetish, but made her notice them more because she knows you'r noticing and you'r enjoying them. 

[NoV]

Sometimes people are much more comfortable admitting something to themselves once it has a name. So maybe hearing that some people have something called a sneezing fetish can make other people think 'hey actually that explains a lot...'

Edited December 2, 2017 by NoV

[Alex1355]

5 minutes ago, PuddinPop said:

I think it's probably more of a 'fetish by association' sort of deal. I don't think people can actually 'catch' fetishes, as I personally believe that they are something engrained into our psyche that we can't control. I never chose to have a sneezing fetish, it's just always been there for me. Just the same as I can't choose to have, for example, a foot fetish. I just don't get turned on by feet, and I imagine I never will. Which again, is not something I can control. If I wanted to get turned on by feet, I'd be able to if fetishes were a choice. However, I cannot. 

It sounds to me more like your fiance is into what you like. Sort of like a fetish fetish. Y'know, a fetish for your fetish, regardless of what it is. It's nice that she's taking an active interest, but I do feel like the fact that it is sneezing is irrelevant; if you had a different fetish, it sounds like she would probably be able to get into that too. For a lot of people, they like doing things that they know they partners enjoys. So in my opinion, I wouldn't say you gave her a sneezing fetish, but made her notice them more because she knows you'r noticing and you'r enjoying them. 

That’s kind of what I thought but obviously wasn’t sure as I’ve never shared it with a partner before. You’re right that she seems to enjoy that I enjoy it. She will always let me know if she’s sneezed a lot during a day and has made surprise sneeze videos for me.

[PuddinPop]

1 minute ago, Alex1355 said:

That’s kind of what I thought but obviously wasn’t sure as I’ve never shared it with a partner before. You’re right that she seems to enjoy that I enjoy it. She will always let me know if she’s sneezed a lot during a day and has made surprise sneeze videos for me.

This is really sweet, and also sounds like my partner. He's really supportive, and messages me sometimes when he's sneezed or when he's sick, and he absolutely adores winding me up about it though he has said that he doesn't understand it at all, and that he definitely doesn't share the fetish, but he has said he definitely notices others sneezing way more than he used to. I'm not trying to poopoo your theory or anything, but I think it's much more likely that your fiance enjoys knowing that she's doing something that you like. Which isn't at all a bad thing! It's always great to have someone so accepting and willing to indulge

[Alex1355]

1 minute ago, PuddinPop said:

This is really sweet, and also sounds like my partner. He's really supportive, and messages me sometimes when he's sneezed or when he's sick, and he absolutely adores winding me up about it though he has said that he doesn't understand it at all, and that he definitely doesn't share the fetish, but he has said he definitely notices others sneezing way more than he used to. I'm not trying to poopoo your theory or anything, but I think it's much more likely that your fiance enjoys knowing that she's doing something that you like. Which isn't at all a bad thing! It's always great to have someone so accepting and willing to indulge

I think your spot on. It’s great considering I dated someone for a year and a half who was extremely sneezy and never told her. Making up now for a missed opportunity.

[Alex1355]

10 minutes ago, NoV said:

Sometimes people are much more comfortable admitting something to themselves once it has a name. So maybe hearing that some people have something called a sneezing fetish can make other people think 'hey actually that explains a lot...'

I like that idea too I think a lot of people enjoy sneezing, maybe not as much as us and in a different way. Some people do seem to like commenting when someone is sneezy.

[JolliLolli]

Oh definently. I have a friend on Devinatart, who at first was very clearly weirded out when I told him about the fetish (though at first he also liked making jokes about it). Then one day he sent me a note, and I think the best way to explain is to just post the thread:

Him:

How

Me:

What?

Him:

Guess

Me:

I'm really confused

Him:

I'll give you a hint. 
(I'm patrick in this scenario)

 

Me:

WHAT?! I DON'T GET IT JUST TELL ME!

Him:

I'll give you another hint. It's something you and JAF [other SF friend] have in common, and now you gave me the ugly 

Me:

oh...?

ohhh...

OH MY GOD!

 

The conversation was longer then that, but you get the idea. He even made this eventually! https://soundcloud.com/user-806541596/i-hate-everything

 

[Alex1355]

29 minutes ago, JolliLolli said:

Oh definently. I have a friend on Devinatart, who at first was very clearly weirded out when I told him about the fetish (though at first he also liked making jokes about it). Then one day he sent me a note, and I think the best way to explain is to just post the thread:

Him:

How

Me:

What?

Him:

Guess

Me:

I'm really confused

Him:

I'll give you a hint. 
(I'm patrick in this scenario)

 

Me:

WHAT?! I DON'T GET IT JUST TELL ME!

Him:

I'll give you another hint. It's something you and JAF [other SF friend] have in common, and now you gave me the ugly 

Me:

oh...?

ohhh...

OH MY GOD!

 

The conversation was longer then that, but you get the idea. He even made this eventually! https://soundcloud.com/user-806541596/i-hate-everything

 

That’s such a creative way to tell you, I love it lol.

[JolliLolli]

Just now, Alex1355 said:

That’s such a creative way to tell you, I love it lol.

He might have just been to embarrassed to say it. XD But sure. Creative.

[facet]

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Edited December 1, 2019 by facet
Removed by user.

[Alex1355]

4 minutes ago, facet said:

I agree-ish with Puds. I don't think you can give the fetish to someone per se, but I do also know that sexuality is fluid and elastic. It evolves along with a person, which can include developing new kinks throughout life.

The thing for me is that I'm a big stickler with the semantics of a fetish, in that, a kink is something that can get you excited, but a fetish is typically something that is needed for climax. So I don't think it would be typical for someone to suddenly develop the fetish full-stop, but I think it's definitely possible to get it as a new kink- especially if they begin to associate sneezing with the arousal of their partner.

Generally, sex is best when you both know the other is having a great time. The arousal of the other person's can boost your own and vice versa so if a stimulus (ie sneezing) is suddenly thrown into the mix, then, yeah, I can definitely see those wires getting crossed in the brain

Does that make sense? I hope so, and in any case, I'm very happy for you and your fiance.

My husband and I do great with it!

That’s a great explanation. I’ve always thought kink was a more accurate term. Yeah it’s great to share it with someone who supports it.

[facet]

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Edited December 1, 2019 by facet
Removed by user.

[JolliLolli]

On 12/2/2017 at 3:14 PM, Alex1355 said:

That’s such a creative way to tell you, I love it lol.

He's gonna probably kill me for sharing this.

[lily96]

On 12/2/2017 at 4:56 PM, facet said:

And absolutely! I think that tends to be a fear on here for many- that if they tell their SO they won't understand and/or will be weirded out by it, so the more of us who can say, "Well, at least for us, that hasn't been an issue," the better it is for the community as a whole, I think.  

This is so true. I kept reading things on here about people telling their partners about the fetish and getting a positive reaction which gave me the courage to tell my boyfriend about it a few days ago. I was terrified he would think it’s weird but he was totally cool about it. He said he didn’t understand it but he was glad I told him.