Pathetic (Self Obs)

[Likesn]

So, I'm about to do something I don't think I've ever done before, and am really unlikely to ever do again. Actually, it's two things- write a male obs and talk about my personal life. It's just that right now I feel like I'm in the middle of a sneezefic, and a very poorly written one, so I thought I'd share:

Here's the thing- a couple of weeks ago I met this girl. In a very short period of time I've developed a pretty serious crush on her. That's not something that happens to me a lot, and it's even less common for it to happen so fast. I wouldn't say I became obsessed with her, but she was constantly on my mind. She was very kind and I felt like there's a good chance this might actually work between us. The problem was I didn't know if she was single and if she would want to go out with me if she was. I spent a lot (!) of time thinking about her (in an "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic" by "The Police" kind of way, if you know what I mean), and about what it would be like if we were together, but I had a hard time finding the chance to "pop the question". The whole thing was starting to affect me emotionally and it was getting hard for me to live in this state of uncertainty. I knew I needed to get that question answered soon. Earlier this week, I finally got my chance, but as I was building up to ask her out it turned out she wasn't single at all, because obviously. In hindsight, I was lucky she said something about her boyfriend before the conversation passed the point of no return, so she didn't realize that I was actually asking her out, and thought I was talking about hanging out as a part of a group of people. I'm pretty sure she didn't realize where I was going with that conversation, and if she did she showed no signs that that was the case. Speaking of showing no signs, despite the feeling of having my heart crushed, I somehow managed to finish the conversation without showing any signs that I was screaming internally (again- I think I didn't). Even more miraculous is the fact that I managed to keep functioning normally right after that conversation, talking to people and even making jokes, when all I wanted to do was to curl into a ball in some dark, comfortable corner and sleep for about a month.

I know that at this point you're all probably thinking- "Come on man! Where is that obs you promised us"?! Well, I'm getting there. So anyway, the aforementioned sleep is not something I managed to get a lot of lately, especially this past week. Besides that, it's December, so even though it's not particularly cold where I am, it's still cold season. Combine those factors with my emotional turmoil this past few days and guess what do you get? You guessed right. Yesterday morning, only a couple of minutes after I woke up (much too early, because I have to if I want to make it to work on time), when I was still in bed, I sneezed. I didn't think too much about it and continued getting ready for work. On the bus to work I sneezed again, which got my nose running and I had to blow it. That's when I was starting to get worried- I really hoped I wasn't coming down with anything, since you can probably guess the last thing I wanted right now is to get sick. Throughout my day at work, I sneezed a bunch of times and had to blow my nose every now and then. My nose got runnier as the day progressed and I was embarrassed by being constantly blessed by my coworkers when I sneezed (I don't like sneezing in front of other people, especially when I'm sick). I had a business meeting right after work and miraculously I managed to get through all of it (it lasted for about an hour) without having to sneeze or blow my nose. After that I ran some errands, which didn't help much with my runny nose and sneezes. When at long last I got back home, I hoped to go to bed early but it didn't really happen, of course. Luckily, I knew at least I had two extra hours of sleep for today, so I hoped a good night's sleep (finally) will help me nip this cold in the bud. It didn't. When I woke up this morning my throat was a little sore and my nose blocked up. A couple of nose blows later I managed to clear one nostril enough to be able to breath through it. I wasn't so lucky with the other one. I had some more errands I needed to run, and I managed not to sneeze in front of other people, but I was pretty sneezy and had to blow my runny nose a lot, which left my nostrils red and a little sore. I should mention that (and I hope I'm not jinxing myself by writing that) I normally have a pretty strong immune system. I usually get a cold about once every two years (I know- I have been very lucky in that aspect so far), so whenever I get it my nostrils usually suffer most, since I don't usually blow my nose so often. This makes it harder for me to hide it when I'm sick, and it sucks, because I don't like people knowing I'm sick (you guys being an exception for obvious reasons). A lot of men can be such crybabies when they're sick, even with a little cold, and I always try to be the opposite of that and shake a cold off without making a big deal out of it. Later today I went to meet a friend, so I stuffed a few tissues into my back pocket, hoping they would be enough. On my way, I had to sneeze when I was walking in the street. I tried to fight it, but eventually I couldn't, so I sneezed into my sleeve (because I'm not a jerk who spreads his germs). Then I turned into an alley so that I could blow my nose in peace. I sneezed once in front of my friend as well (covered, of course) and when I ran out of tissues I realized it was time for me to head back home and stay there. My nose got runny again as I was walking home and I did all I could to make it back before it would drip all over my face. As soon as I got back home I blew my nose and since then I have been doing that a lot, as well as sneezing every now and then.

So this is me right now- lonely and with a cold. What a cliche. Being sick sucks. Feelings sucks. Life sucks at the moment. I know I said I didn't want to be a crybaby, and I meant it, but it felt good to write all of this down, like blowing some of the congestion out of my heart. I hope you guys like this obs, so that at least someone might enjoy my misery. That's it for now from your friendly neighborhood Likesn. Be well.