Attack on Heichou

[warminside]

The squad are travelling through a forest and Levi discovers his worst enemy may in fact be flowers.

Wow could this get more indulgent and box-ticking if it tried...

-- fic begins --

Levi sniffed. This fucking itch was unbearable. He scrubbed frustratedly at his nose with the back of his hand. Ever since they'd rode into this forest to the west of Sina, something had been bothering him. He thought it might be the small white flowers peppering the ground; he had never seen them before.

 

"Erwin", he called, breaking formation briefly to pull up beside the commander. "Something in this forest isn't agreeing with me. In the event of an encounter, I might not perform at my best capacity."

 

"I suppose you'd suggest that we carry on as normal," Erwin replied neutrally, although a thin undercurrent of concern was apparent as he turned to look at Levi.

 

Levi snorted, and rubbed his nose again. "Please, I'm still better than - heh - three of the recruits combined."

 

"What is it?" Erwin asked as Levi's features froze, looking around and moving to raise his hand. Levi shot out an arm to prevent the motion, and his head jerked forwards.

 

"Hitch!"

 

"Oh. Sorry." Looking slightly abashed, Erwin continued riding as normal. Levi wasn't finished, and his head pitched forward twice more as his nose tried to dispel the tickle. 

 

"Hitch! Hitxh!"

 

He shook his head as his horse trotted on, and tried to be subtle as he rubbed his eyes.

 

A while later, his nose was running enough to have become a distraction, and he hadn't taken notice of his surroundings for the last few minutes, he'd been concentrating so hard on not sneezing and drawing further attention to himself.

 

"Erwin?" He called carefully, wary of disturbing his nose. "Hh- how long is the ride through this forest?"

 

"You're right," Erwin said, pulling up the reigns on his horse. "Long enough to justify a break. The trees will make defence with ODM gear no challenge - and look, here's a clearing."

 

Levi groaned softly as Erwin signalled for the patrol to stop in a small break in the trees, a patch of grass covered in the small white flowers he'd been seeing.

 

Everyone dismounted and started to unpack their food supplies - everyone but Levi, who stayed on his horse and wondered whether he could pass this off as keeping watch.

 

"Levi?" Of course Hange picked him up on it, raising xer eyebrows. "Are you going to eat on your horse?"

 

He sighed and jumped down onto the ground, waiting cautiously for any sign of an increased reaction before he sat next to the others.

 

His nose was on fire, but he wasn't about to disturb the expedition for his own personal comfort. Instead he turned his head to face away from the others and blew his nose.

 

"You getting sick, Heichou?" Petra asked, hiding a smile behind her hand when he scowled darkly in response. There was a chance red eyes were detracting slightly from his intimidation techniques.

 

"These are interesting," Hange was saying, and Levi saw to his consternation that xe had picked up one of the white flowers and was twiddling it between xer fingers. "I've never seen one before. Have you, Levi?" Xe held it out in front of his face.

 

"Could you no- heh-chou. Hange -" Levi turned his head away and sneezed a second time. "Heh-chou."

 

"Hange, get that thing away from him," Oluo said, and Levi rolled his eyes upwards, murmuring a curse under his breath. "Can't you see it's affecting him badly-"

 

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you," Levi snapped.

 

"No, this is really interesting," Hange said, eyes wide. "Have you come across these before, Levi?"

 

"N- nn... no, does it matter?" he replied, trying to come across as scathing but sounding only slightly breathless.

 

"I'm not just a titan scientist, you know," Hange said, shoving the flower under his nose again. "I do have other interests."

 

"Are th- heh-chou - are those other intere - heh-chou - being a little shit?"

 

Levi pinched his nose shut as Hange continued to wave the flower around gleefully. 

 

"Didn't quite catch that, Heichou! Hee-hee! Can I do some experiments when we get back? I promise they won't be that unpleasant!"

 

"Fuck you, H- hh-kgnx, ktchu, kt-chu..."

 

"Are you torturing our officers for scientific purposes again?" Erwin asked, sitting down next to them, having finished attempting (rather pathetically, in Levi's opinion) to ingratiate himself with the cadets.

 

"Very scientific! Look at him! He couldn't fight at all right now!" Hange grinned, brandishing the flower at Levi, who peered up at xer incredulously before another sneeze took him.

 

"Hm. And could you explain to me how it's useful to incapacitate our best fighter on an expedition?" Erwin asked, reaching backwards to hand Levi another handkerchief.

 

"I'm just saying," Hange said indignantly, turning to confront Erwin, "that if there's something that could incapacitate our officers, we should know what it is and how to stop it from doing so! And maybe use it to stop titans!"

 

"You think we're going to stop titans with daisies?" Oluo asked, picking a handful dubiously and throwing them in the air. Levi groaned in frustration but couldn't get the breath to say anything, sneezing six more times in rapid succession - "heh-chou... kgnxt, kgnxt, eh-chou, ha-chou, hah-chou-"

 

"I don't know," Hange snapped, "that's where the science comes in."

 

"I  think Hange just likes it when Levi can't get a word in to tell xer to shut up," Petra smirked.

 

"Alright, that's enough," Erwin said, plucking the flower gently from a pouting Hange's hand and putting an arm under Levi's shoulders to guide him to his horse. "Hange, any and all experiments will be carried out with the participant's consent, thank you."

 

"I know Levi's dedication to the cause," Hange pouted, over Levi's continued muffled sneezing. "His consent is implied." Erwin glared at xer and led Levi's horse out of the clearing; whenever Levi looked up to try to do so himself, another sneeze would take him and he would duck into the handkerchief.

 

"You are currently a liability," Erwin said gently, as Levi blew his nose.

 

"I'll be fine once I get out of this - heh- fucking forest - heh-chou -"

 

"Of course you will," Erwin replied patiently, "and I'll ride on ahead with you while Hange leads the rest of the patrol. But, while I know this doesn't sound appealing, Hange might have a point about making sure this doesn't happen again."

 

"I'm not - hehchou - being xer personal - hehchou - fucking test subject!"

 

"I'll try to keep a cap on the sadism," Erwin said, rolling his eyes. "But think about it. We're just trying to help you." 

 

He whistled for his horse, and mounted alongside Levi. The two rode into the distance, Levi sneezing and muttering under his breath, Erwin watching him.

-- fic ends --

Wow I love these guys. Would greatly appreciate a review <3

 

[Ben Drowned]

this is really nice

[warminside]

1 hour ago, Ben Drowned said:

this is really nice

Thank you <3

[Ben Drowned]

19 hours ago, warminside said:

Thank you <3

welcome I'm not really into attack on titans but this is cool 

[JQLovesSneezes]

I love this, @warminside!  I was literally just thinking about writing an SnK fic myself.  Hange is one of my favorite characters of all time AHH!   Even so, Levi fics always turn out to be some of my favorites. Thank you so much for sharing! I hope you share some more lovely fics with us in the future.