Offering handkerchiefs/tissues -- thoughts?

[Luisa39]

If you're with someone (either a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger) who is sniffing, etc., from allergies or a cold, is it rude or polite to offer that person a clean tissue or handkerchief without specifically being asked?  Is this something anyone here has ever done?

I must say I love the idea of offering a handkerchief (which I prefer to tissues) to a cute, cold/allergy-stricken guy who seems to be in need of one; it appeals to my caretaking instincts!  I'd be worried, though, that this sort of thing might come off as presumptuous or "infantilizing."

Any thoughts?

 

[Oolia]

I absolutely LOVE it in fiction (fics and movies/TV). It's one of my favorite sneeze fetish tropes right now  But in real life, if you offer a tissue to someone, it's like you're saying "for the love of god will you stop sniffling and just blow your nose already?!". That's how I would perceive it if someone gave me a tissue without me asking for one  Unless it's someone super close to me and they just generally know I'm sick and are making sure I have tissues if I need it, of course. That would be pretty cute.

But then again, everything depends on context. I'd definitely offer a tissue to a stranger who clearly needed one (like if they sneezed in their hands and they have that look of 'oh shit', for example), but I would feel totally awkward doing it.

[Luisa39]

14 minutes ago, Oolia said:

I absolutely LOVE it in fiction (fics and movies/TV). It's one of my favorite sneeze fetish tropes right now  But in real life, if you offer a tissue to someone, it's like you're saying "for the love of god will you stop sniffling and just blow your nose already?!". That's how I would perceive it if someone gave me a tissue without me asking for one  Unless it's someone super close to me and they just generally know I'm sick and are making sure I have tissues if I need it, of course. That would be pretty cute.

But then again, everything depends on context. I'd definitely offer a tissue to a stranger who clearly needed one (like if they sneezed in their hands and they have that look of 'oh shit', for example), but I would feel totally awkward doing it.

Oh yes!!  In fictional/dramatic contexts, a guy offering a handkerchief to a girl, or even to another guy, clearly in need of one always makes me MELT.  I just love it.

Tbh, I have offered clean tissues to students (I'm a teacher) who sniff repeatedly but, yeah, I always felt awkward about it.  There's probably no way around that awkwardness, either...even though I do still have this dream of handing a (hopefully not too feminine-looking) handkerchief to a guy, or even to another woman, in need.

[sickprincess]

I don't think I will ever be brave enough to offer a tissue to a stranger. If it's a close friend and we're somewhere private, like at my house or in a car, I totally would. However, I think if someone I didn't know very, very well offered me a tissue, I would be thoroughly humiliated. (Not necessarily offended but definitely embarrassed). I have a distinct memory of my grandma offering me a tissue when I was 6 years old, and even then I was really embarrassed. That might be a fetish thing though? 

[Oolia]

1 hour ago, Luisa39 said:

Tbh, I have offered clean tissues to students (I'm a teacher) who sniff repeatedly but, yeah, I always felt awkward about it.  There's probably no way around that awkwardness, either...even though I do still have this dream of handing a (hopefully not too feminine-looking) handkerchief to a guy, or even to another woman, in need.

Honestly I think it would work in a more intimate setting, i.e. with a guy you're dating or a really good friend. That would be super sweet and I don't think it would be construed badly in that situation!

Also, since you might enjoy it too, here's my favorite "guy offering a handkerchief" moment in a TV/movie ever. I actually squealed when I saw it, and proceeded to watch it a million times. It's SO adorable  (the guy is also drop-dead gorgeous imo...) Too bad she didn't take it!!   She has a cold btw. The guy says "bless you" while offering her his handkerchief, but she's like "I don't need it thanks," and he says "you just don't want anything from me anymore then?", then she says "No, it's not good for me" (they have a complicated relationship I guess ).

https://youtu.be/F4ag_q-0Lkw?t=2214

[Ben Drowned]

I think it's just being nice sure it can be a little strange but hey your just being a nice person No I'm not saying that if you don't you are forever banished from this world and cascaded into hell. Some people are just a little shy about doing that and it doesn't mean your a bad person it just depends on your point of view but I am a sucker for that if some offer me a tissue or handkerchief I'd gladly take it and I would also do the same give someone else a tissue  if need be it just depends on the circumstance and kinda of person you are if you ask me

[Luisa39]

9 hours ago, Oolia said:

Honestly I think it would work in a more intimate setting, i.e. with a guy you're dating or a really good friend. That would be super sweet and I don't think it would be construed badly in that situation!

Also, since you might enjoy it too, here's my favorite "guy offering a handkerchief" moment in a TV/movie ever. I actually squealed when I saw it, and proceeded to watch it a million times. It's SO adorable  (the guy is also drop-dead gorgeous imo...) Too bad she didn't take it!!   She has a cold btw. The guy says "bless you" while offering her his handkerchief, but she's like "I don't need it thanks," and he says "you just don't want anything from me anymore then?", then she says "No, it's not good for me" (they have a complicated relationship I guess ).

https://youtu.be/F4ag_q-0Lkw?t=2214

That clip (in Turkish -- it took me a couple minutes to figure that out) was interesting!  The strained relationship was pretty apparent; it was like the guy hesitated before blessing her because of his mixed feelings about her, and hers about him.  If nothing else, the scene taught me how "Cok yasa" ("bless you" in Turkish) is pronounced!  

[Luisa39]

Just now, Luisa39 said:

 

Post deleted.

[Asexy]

I actually do this very often (about three times a month) to people near me that happen to be sniffling a bunch. I guess there's an embarrassment factor though since nobody wants to blow in front of somebody else. 

 

I just do it because it's courteous in my opinion. Whether or not they use it well is up to them.

Personally if someone gave one to me I'd just blow to stop sniffling. I know it's pretty embarrassing to blow your nose, but it's twice as annoying to keep sniffling it back up all the time.

Besides, who knows.. maybe they're actually begging for a tissue someplace but are too shy to ask?

[midnight in paris]

The last time l offered a handkerchief was to a really suffering woman l knew only slightly--she had sneezed,then started leafing through her bag and sniffling desperately,and her nose ready to run.I took a large mens' handkerchief out of my jacket pocket,shook it open for her and handed it to her.I told her it was clean and unused.She blew several times--she was really full. After she was done she said,"Oh God,thank you so much--l forgot to bring one or if l did l can't find it". She returned it a few days later,washed and ironed.

[Hankysneeze]

I have offered my hanky on a few occasions and it has been gratefully accepted, I think it is so chivalrous 

[-~-~-~-]

I’ve been offered tissues before, and have offered a couple times, but I would never offer or accept a handkerchief, no matter how clean.

the only exception I’d make is maybe someone I was intimately involved with in some way, or a close friend. I actually like the idea of a lover offering me one of my own handkerchiefs when I am unable to get one myself, or we’re out somewhere and I’ve used mine up but they’ve brought an extra one for me.

[william]

sometimes i offer my handkerchief to my gf (not that she's really happy about the usage of hankies, anyway... :-( )...

but last summer i offered a hankie to a friend of mine: he was driving his car, had pretty bad allergies fit but no tissues....first time i offered he refused (polite, saying he did not need it), but as time passed he was in real need and asked for it!

really wet blows and sneezing into it!