(Random) fear of serious illness

[Heathcliff]

Yesterday I listened to the Archers (UK radio soap) where a character very, very suddenly died of sepsis. I found myself sitting at home in floods of tears.

Something about stories of serious illness and hospitals scares me a lot. Does anyone else feel like this? There is also a haunting Elvis Costello song (which I can't find on the internet) about tuberculosis. I sometimes can't stop thinking about it:

In the cold pale sunlight that was slanting down, I spied
Frost reflecting on the glass and in the air outside
Fond relations mouthing words of love and tragedy
Though it's cold there's vapor rising from a moving stream

In a narrow, shallow bed of fine linen and starch
Where her long hair tumbled once upon her graceful arch
Lace hung on the counters and the walnut cabinets
Teeth ware chattering like schoolgirls clicking castanets

There will be no light to guide as you ascend the stairs
There may be a candle as you kneel and say your prayers
Throw the window wide and open, keep this mark from me
Just the letter "T" and its most dread companion "B"

How in heaven? Hadn't it been conquered long ago?
How did it come back again? It's just a curio

[MeForever]

I have this very badly. I've actually had near panic attacks when I threw up a few times because I thought I had something serious. I feel you.

[taléya*]

Hello, I know that too.

I too am often afraid to get sick/even sicker (because I have medical problems), or the situation is getting worse.

I tried for myself to find out where these fears come from and I think it has a lot to do with the loss of a beloved Person.

I think such fears always have to do with a memory of your childhood/your youth.

Subconsciously they become noticeable.

Maybe it will help you to find out if there are negative experiences in your past?

I wish you all the best and that you will soon be better.

[Masking]

I'm currently getting my MD and my PhD, studying sepsis, and I can tell you that knowing about a disease doesn't make you any more likely to get it. And sepsis is eminently treatable, even if you do end up with it. Hope this helps. <3

[hilsbilly]

You're probably getting a sense of your own mortality.

It happens to people in the their thirties

happened to me in mine

[Shay]

I feel like I did have a similar experience to this. I've actually survived two MRSA infections which is one of those superbugs that are very difficult to treat with most antibiotics. The first time I had it, I didn't even really feel all that bad, and was surprised when I was told I'd have to be admitted to the hospital for IV treatment. So I went along with it, and it was annoying, but they let me go home after a few days, and I was fine. At that point I had absolutely no understanding of how serious it was and that it could have turned into sepsis.

Then I saw something on TV where a woman had the same sort of infection, but by the time she realized she was sick and was admitted to the hospital, it was too late and she died within the day. That's when it really hit me how serious it was and that I could have died. Then when I relapsed 9 months later I felt much much worse and the hospital didn't even want to admit me because it didn't seem like I had a fever. A blizzard was coming in and it was freezing out, so made them redo my temperature rectally to get a more accurate reading, because I knew that if they sent me home and I got worse, I probably wouldn't be able to get back there for who knows how long. Thankfully the 2nd temperature reading did show a fever and they let me stay. I think I probably would have died if they'd sent me home.

So now I do have a much better understanding of how serious it is and I take a ton of vitamin supplements to help boost my immune system because I live in fear of it happening again.

[Heathcliff]

On 25/02/2018 at 5:35 AM, Masking said:

I'm currently getting my MD and my PhD, studying sepsis, and I can tell you that knowing about a disease doesn't make you any more likely to get it. And sepsis is eminently treatable, even if you do end up with it. Hope this helps. <3

I know that is true, and it's a very rational point. Thanks.

Is septicaemia  the same as sepsis? I associate septicaemia with GCSE history lessons, studying early antiseptic surgery and the work of Joseph Lister (which was pretty interesting).

On 25/02/2018 at 0:25 PM, hilsbilly said:

You're probably getting a sense of your own mortality.

It happens to people in the their thirties

happened to me in mine

Yeah, I'm sure that is part of it. I've thought about mortality many times before, but there is more of a sense of it now, particularly since I have passed 35.

[tma]

I have a weird phobia (that I generally don't talk about).  I had a VERY strong connection with my father (I was about at 6 weeks when adopted- so I don't share his genes (no clue on the biological genes of either "parent" of mine) so he was the only father I knew.  He died at 45 from cancer.  Only had it 8 months before he died.  I'll be 45 in January, and honestly, as absolutely STUPID as I know that it is, I just have this weird inner feeling that that is my time too....

 

No clue.  Am guessing (and hoping) that if and when I pass his age, that I'll get over that odd little weird nagging thing in the back of my mind.

 

  

 

Wait.... if 35 is time for mid-life crisis, you need to cheer yourself up by looking at some shiny red sportscars.   

[Masking]

Yup, same thing. It's an overactive host response to a pathogen or trauma.

[Rather.Doubtful]

On 27/2/2018 at 6:02 PM, tma said:

I have a weird phobia (that I generally don't talk about).  I had a VERY strong connection with my father (I was about at 6 weeks when adopted- so I don't share his genes (no clue on the biological genes of either "parent" of mine) so he was the only father I knew.  He died at 45 from cancer.  Only had it 8 months before he died.

Im sorry about this! Im also scared of Cancer so I make my dad going to check for it frequently. I myself also have to check for one type of Cancer, Im still young so it seems paranoid but its far better that way.  

I dont have a phobia, like I wouldnt cry or get paralized but obviously the thought of getting a serious disease is absolutely scary. From Cancer to bacterial stuff. Or like those weird autoimmune D: 

TB came back parcially due to HIV right?  And now in some countries there's a superbug too, I think? Actually due to antibiotics current usage we're going into a superbug global crise but well.. saying that doesn't really help. The idea of jumping at sexy sneezy strangers on metros becomes less likely everyday, though XD 

(Unnecessary silly joke:

-Yup. I know you're having a sneeze attack.Yup.. I wanna kiss you...

 

Did you check for staphylococcus in your nose though? You do know they cause mrsa right?)

.. If being a sneeze fetishist wasn't tough enough. 

[Rather.Doubtful]

Ehem.. English:

*Partially (not parcially)

*Not jumping strangers on metros .. just making out (which is still a joke) 

[Heathcliff]

16 hours ago, Rather.Doubtful said:

TB came back parcially due to HIV right?  

I'm not sure but that sounds possible. I know that when HIV progresses to AIDS it can leave someone open to many otherwise rare and unusual illnesses.

There is an interesting docu-drama called "And The Band Played On" about the discovery of HIV (I've probably mentioned it before because I think it's an important film). I recommend it- you don't have to watch it all in one go.

Edit: if you do click it, scenes some people may possibly find distressing from early on.

 

[Rather.Doubtful]

Just saw a little part (dunno how to say that in English). It looks really interesting, indeed, thanks! 

 

[ilikesneezes2000]

I’m scared of that stuff too. I think I have anxiety at some level. 

Like, here’s the thing. I’m not scared of getting sick, necessarily... it’s any possible permanent side effects that frighten me (and what also make me nervous to do things).

[Reader]

I recently had an anxiety attack for the first time in my life a few days ago because I thought I was losing my transplant. 

I’ve def developed anxiety from this flu season and my low immunity