Let's Try This Again (Torchwood)

[Jelloicious]

Honestly, I do the stupidest titles.   This is actually titled as it is, because it's another run at the prompt "first date".  You know, the one Jack asks Ianto on when he comes back from the year that never was.   Anyway, I tried that first with Ianto being the one to screw up plans with a poorly timed case of the sniffles.  (Posted on the adult board for the usual Jack/Ianto reasons).  This one should be safe.  This one is a run at Jack being the one who falls ill, inconveniently.  I mean, just how successful can you be actually planning something that requires reservations when you work for Torchwood anyway?  Anyway.  

 

TWTWTWTW

Jack sneezed and looked expectantly at Owen. “See?”

Owen crossed his arms and frowned at his boss. “And just what would you like me to do, Jack?”

Jack sniffed. “You’re a doctor. Fix it.”

Owen rolled his eyes heavenward. “It’s a cold, Jack. You have a cold. You called me in on my day off to tell me you have the sniffles.”

“No...” Jack really thought he should not have to be explaining this to a doctor. “I called you in so you could use your vast medical training and experience and cure me.” Jack sniffed.

It might have taken Owen a moment to suss out that Jack was actually serious. “Are you serious?  How long have you been on this planet, again?  There isn’t a cure. Get plenty of rest and drink fluids, and you’ll be fine. Give it a week.”

“I…never….get…eh’SHUUU!!!! ...ill.” Jack insisted, rubbing his tickly nose.

Owen raised an eyebrow at Jack. “Never?”

“Well, hardly ever,” Jack backtracked, sniffing again. “I can’t wait a week. You have to cure me NOW.”

Owen chuckled darkly. “Welcome to 21^st Century, Jack.”

Jack sneezed again.

Owen made a face and took a step back. “Oi! cover your sneezes! You want to give us all your cold?”

“Sorry, wasn’t expecting that.” Jack sniffed again.

“Just tell Teaboy you’re ill. He won’t mind.” Owen made another face.

“No, Owen, you don’t understand. This is important. I have to do this right this time. We have reservations at the French Place, and prime seats for…for Eieashiew!!!....eh...ehh.. EaaaSHOOO!!!! I can’t just cancel on Ianto,” Jack sniffled miserably. "And I can't take him to dinner and sneeze on him!"

Despite it all, Owen felt himself softening. Not that he’d ever admit it, of course. But it was plain to see that Jack really was worked up over this.

“Look. Seriously. ‘Doing this right’ means more that taking the Teaboy out to some swank place for dinner. It means being honest with him. Just tell him. I know Ianto. I promise, he will understand,” Owen insisted. “Hell, he will probably be so understanding he’ll make you hot tea and tuck you in.”

Jack closed his eyes. Tea, a warm bed, Ianto, all sounded heavenly, but that wasn’t what tonight was supposed to be about.

“Isn’t there anything you can give me?” Jack was persistent.

“Look, you can go to the chemist and get stuff over the counter that might help with symptoms for a while. I can’t cure the common cold, Jack. It just has to run its course.”

“Alright, then, what if you shoot me?” suggested Jack, unholstering his Webley.

Owen choked. “Fuck off, Jack. Don’t even.”

“No, seriously, I could come back completely cured,” Jack said, brightly.

“Or, you could not, you twat!” Owen was pissed. “Or, you might pull another 3 days in the morgue drawer, and wouldn’t that just be the way to screw up a first date. Or, while you are taking your sweet time, Ianto could find out I shot you and shoot ME. Again. And just so you know I don’t come back. OR, this might be THE time you don’t come back and Jack Harkness so help me you are a fucking IDIOT! Get the hell out of my medical bay!”

[Elyze]

They're back already! 

I'm curious to see where you take this and how differently it plays out. Funny beginning anyway 

[Selene]

Ok, now you're giving me a hard time. I was already in love with nervous-in-denial-"Oh my god, I'll ruin the evening and get you sick, Jack" Ianto, but now you've introduced me to  unable-to-handle-colds-what-are-they-even-and-how-are-they-going-away-"Oh my god, I can't ruin this for Ianto, I MUST SOLDIER THROUGH THIS" Jack, so I am torn and can't decide whom I like more...

The beginning was hilarious, starting strong with a good sneeze from a competely adorable Jack

And I love how you write Owen (and Jack, and Ianto, obviously, but Owen is often forgotten, even though he's such a great character and I love how you're bringing him into your stories for comic relief and for general awesomeness )

4 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

“Look. Seriously. ‘Doing this right’ means more that taking the Teaboy out to some swank place for dinner. It means being honest with him. Just tell him. I know Ianto. I promise, he will understand,” Owen insisted. “Hell, he will probably be so understanding he’ll make you hot tea and tuck you in.”

Owen and his own special Owen-way of giving advice and talking some sense into people Loved this part, because it was just so perfectly Owen

And I hope Jack will listen to him, but I do have a feeling he won't...

 

Edited March 19, 2018 by Selene

[AngelEyes]

This is fantastic!

8 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Jack sniffed. “You’re a doctor. Fix it.”

LOL Jack!

 

8 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

It might have taken Owen a moment to suss out that Jack was actually serious. “Are you serious?  How long have you been on this planet, again?  There isn’t a cure. Get plenty of rest and drink fluids, and you’ll be fine. Give it a week.”

Great Owen expression.

 

8 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Owen chuckled darkly. “Welcome to 21^st Century, Jack.”

Totally Owen. I feel like he is a bit smug about this.

 

8 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

“Look. Seriously. ‘Doing this right’ means more that taking the Teaboy out to some swank place for dinner. It means being honest with him. Just tell him. I know Ianto. I promise, he will understand,” Owen insisted. “Hell, he will probably be so understanding he’ll make you hot tea and tuck you in.”

Awww. The compassionate side of Owen. And I love how he refers to Ianto as "the Teaboy"!

 

8 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

“Alright, then, what if you shoot me?” suggested Jack, unholstering his Webley.

Owen choked. “Fuck off, Jack. Don’t even.”

“No, seriously, I could come back completely cured,” Jack said, brightly.

OMG. Great minds think alike. I totally just wrote this into My story! LOL!

[Jelloicious]

4 hours ago, helyzelle said:

They're back already! 

Honestly, it's because I was writing both stories at the same time.   I gave a passing thought to writing them as one story (both trying not to screw up the same date) but couldn't make it work.  It was easier to just let them wander off in their own direction.  

4 hours ago, Selene said:

Ok, now you're giving me a hard time. I was already in love with nervous-in-denial-"Oh my god, I'll ruin the evening and get you sick, Jack" Ianto, but now you've introduced me to  unable-to-handle-colds-what-are-they-even-and-how-are-they-going-away-"Oh my god, I can't ruin this for Ianto, I MUST SOLDIER THROUGH THIS" Jack, so I am torn and can't decide whom I like more...

Yeah, me neither.  This is more or less why there had to be two different stories.  Jack is a lovely contradiction between invincible and oddly vulnerable.   Between knowing more than anyone else and knowing nothing.  

4 hours ago, Selene said:

And I love how you write Owen (and Jack, and Ianto, obviously, but Owen is often forgotten, even though he's such a great character and I love how you're bringing him into your stories for comic relief and for general awesomeness )

Owen is an ogre and I love him.   He keeps some warm little core buried inside and it peeks out now and then, and I adore him.  He gets to use that here to give Jack some serious advice.  Not his fault that Jack is too big of an idiot to listen.  Not his fault at all.

26 minutes ago, AngelEyes said:

OMG. Great minds think alike. I totally just wrote this into My story! LOL!

GMTA indeed!  When does your next chapter come?   (You know, this one little thing has great potential.   I can totally see Jack trying to short cut his way through the misery.  I can also see the potential for future Jack torture, where he tries "cure by death" and is all proud of himself (despite everyone else's reaction to this) iuntil he finds out that he doesn't acquire immunity, catches it again and has to just suffer through like all the rest of the mortals.  (who of course, by this point are mightily ticked that he did that in the first place and have no more sympathy).  Yeah.  

[AngelEyes]

3 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

I can also see the potential for future Jack torture, where he tries "cure by death" and is all proud of himself (despite everyone else's reaction to this) iuntil he finds out that he doesn't acquire immunity, catches it again and has to just suffer through like all the rest of the mortals.  (who of course, by this point are mightily ticked that he did that in the first place and have no more sympathy).

Can definitely see it working out like this!

Next part should be up later tonight!!!!

[Seeker]

I love it and I'm totally mad I haven't earned access to the adult board yet cause man I want to read the other story!

Too cute, though, Jack trying to get shot to get out of sickness. I'm with Owen--what if sickness messes up the time it takes to get you back up? Not gonna be ME taking that shot! lol

 

[Jelloicious]

 

13 hours ago, ReidSeeker said:

I'm totally mad I haven't earned access to the adult board yet cause man I want to read the other story!

Full disclosure, I finally unlurked and registered months ago, on the vague suspicion that there were Torchwood stories I hadn't read yet hidden away in the adult forum.  (Not obsessed at all, why do you ask?)

 

Jack Harkness stood stupidly, feeling lost, in the cough and cold aisle at Tesco’s and frowned. He tried not to feel overwhelmed by the options. It wasn’t right that they put this many things out on the shelf and expected people (who were already not at their best) to sort out what to get. He indulged himself with a moment of annoyance with Owen, who had angrily turfed him out to go sort this out on his own. Jack sniffed, and heartily wished Ianto were with him. He suspected Ianto would know exactly what to get. He pressed a hand to the bridge of his nose, reminding himself that he could not call Ianto for this. He absolutely was not going to let Ianto find out he was ill.

The tickle deep in his sinuses suggested he’d best get what he came for before another round of sneezes overtook him, so he just got one of everything, figuring he could call Owen again to help him sort it out properly back at the hub. If Owen was still speaking to him. He wasn’t sure.

Standing in line at the till, he concentrated his entire being on not giving in to the mighty sneeze that he could feel slipping up on him, but clearly, the universe was not his friend today. Ahh...ahhh….ahh—SHIEW!!! sniff. Hashiewww! Hach..CHEWWWW!!!!….

Turns out, one public sneeze, people will bless you. Two even earns you sympathy. If you make to twelve, people move their shopping trolles over to another till, and pass a bottle of hand sanitizer around. (Or, that might have been because Jack cursed this stupid planet and stupid 21^st century germs a little too loudly). Jack paid and fled the store.

Back at the hub, Jack spilled his haul across his desk, still overwhelmed and made increasingly stupid by a persistent headache and a profoundly annoying inability to breath through his nose (how was he supposed to kiss his Ianto properly if he couldn’t breath?). The rest of the team was off on this quiet Saturday, leaving him to sort this out.

He surveyed his haul. As a rule he never had much success with this sort of thing. His metabolism operated just differently enough to burn through this stuff ridiculously quickly, making it hardly ever worth it to even try. Ehh…Eyashuuu!! Yaaasheeww!! This was usually not a problem. He really hardly ever fell ill. He was privately convinced that just made it all worse, despite Owen’s insistence that everyone else experienced just this same misery, only more often, and that Jack was just being a big baby.

He turned his attention back to the objective at hand: He had to find a way to deal with this annoying little head cold so that it didn’t screw up his date with Ianto. That meant he had to be at his dashing best. There couldn’t be so much as a sniffle. At this rate, there was no way he was going to be able to make it through this date without giving himself away, so he really had to do something. He worried that whatever medicines he took, if they had any effect at all, it would wear off too fast to be of any decent use. He worried that if he took too much...well, now you mention, he couldn’t see much downside to that, really.

He started reading the packaging.  In the end, he gave up and took a handful of the purple ones, and a few orange ones and a couple of pink ones, swallowed a little cupful of the horrible tasting green stuff, then gagged down half a bottle more (Since it covered all of his symptoms and a few he hadn’t thought of yet), and then chose a red one to suck on. That ought to do it, he thought, sniffling a little, as he laid his head on his desk to wait for the medicines to kick in.

 

[Selene]

23 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Owen is an ogre and I love him.   He keeps some warm little core buried inside and it peeks out now and then, and I adore him. 

Definitely! And he has the perfect ogre-face, going from grim to cheeky smile in under second

The latest part of the story has me both amused over Jack's utter lack of experience with colds and his inability to handle the situation, as well as worried, because he just took what could very well be a terrible cocktail of all kinds of things that shouldn't go together, let alone in these quantities

 

2 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Turns out, one public sneeze, people will bless you. Two even earns you sympathy. If you make to twelve, people move their shopping trolles over to another till, and pass a bottle of hand sanitizer around. (Or, that might have been because Jack cursed this stupid planet and stupid 21^st century germs a little too loudly). Jack paid and fled the store.

It's so funny that something as ordinary as a cold can turn the usually so confident and unashamedly outgoing Captain Jack Harkness into someone who hastily gathers up their things and flees a store. *sigh* Poor Jack. I almost felt sorry for him

Almost...  

However, I am way too curious to see, how Jack Big Baby Harkness will fare in the next part to feel truly sorry

Edited March 20, 2018 by Selene

[AngelEyes]

4 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Jack Harkness stood stupidly, feeling lost, in the cough and cold aisle at Tesco’s and frowned. He tried not to feel overwhelmed by the options. It wasn’t right that they put this many things out on the shelf and expected people (who were already not at their best) to sort out what to get.

Poor Jack. Feelings he must not experience very often. Also, I agree with his sentiments.

 

4 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Jack sniffed, and heartily wished Ianto were with him. He suspected Ianto would know exactly what to get.

Sad!!!! Into would definitely know exactly how to take care of him.

 

4 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Turns out, one public sneeze, people will bless you. Two even earns you sympathy. If you make to twelve, people move their shopping trolles over to another till, and pass a bottle of hand sanitizer around. (Or, that might have been because Jack cursed this stupid planet and stupid 21^st century germs a little too loudly). Jack paid and fled the store.

LOL!!!!!

 

4 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

how was he supposed to kiss his Ianto properly if he couldn’t breath?

Obvious priority.

 

4 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

As a rule he never had much success with this sort of thing. His metabolism operated just differently enough to burn through this stuff ridiculously quickly, making it hardly ever worth it to even try.

Also my head canon.

 

4 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

He worried that if he took too much...well, now you mention, he couldn’t see much downside to that, really.

Oh dear. This can't be good!

Can't wait to see how it works out for him!

[Seeker]

7 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Full disclosure, I finally unlurked and registered months ago, on the vague suspicion that there were Torchwood stories I hadn't read yet hidden away in the adult forum.  (Not obsessed at all, why do you ask?)

Honestly I am not sure what I need to do...something about having enough posts? Maybe? I'm not a writer, so it will probably be a while.

 

7 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Jack Harkness stood stupidly, feeling lost, in the cough and cold aisle at Tesco’s and frowned.

Poor little angel probably fever making it impossible sweet baby (...yes this is my rambling thought)

7 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

He started reading the packaging.  In the end, he gave up and took a handful of the purple ones, and a few orange ones and a couple of pink ones, swallowed a little cupful of the horrible tasting green stuff, then gagged down half a bottle more (Since it covered all of his symptoms and a few he hadn’t thought of yet), and then chose a red one to suck on. That ought to do it, he thought, sniffling a little, as he laid his head on his desk to wait for the medicines to kick in.

 that's, uh, that's a lot. Ianto please come visit the office and save this crazy captain 

[Jelloicious]

 

9 hours ago, ReidSeeker said:

Honestly I am not sure what I need to do...something about having enough posts? Maybe? I'm not a writer, so it will probably be a while.

You don't need to be a writer...just keep doing what you are doing, and it works itself out eventually.  It might be a bit fuzzier than just X many posts and boom you are in, but that just means real people are moderating this board, interacting, reading, watching.  I admittedly don't have a ton of experience with fetish sites, but just by standards of an internet site, this one is extremely well-run, which makes it a really nice place to play. (Thanks, Mods!)

15 hours ago, Selene said:

The latest part of the story has me both amused over Jack's utter lack of experience with colds and his inability to handle the situation, as well as worried, because he just took what could very well be a terrible cocktail of all kinds of things that shouldn't go together, let alone in these quantities

Definitely don't try this at home.  (Unless, of course, you are a Fixed Point In Time, and believe that liver toxicity is less problematic than a case of the sniffles on date night).  Bad, bad, idea, and one I almost didn't include, because it is SUCH a BAD IDEA.   But, this is Jack, who operates under different rules.  Heck, he was willing to have Owen shoot him a chapter ago.  Really, the question is to just what lengths is he willing to go to hide his cold from Ianto, in order to present Ianto with the Perfect Date Experience?  (Okay, really the question we care about is 'What Could Possibly Go Wrong with This Scenario?') 

13 hours ago, AngelEyes said:

Poor Jack. Feelings he must not experience very often.

That's what makes it fun, you know!  He's just stubbornly plowing ahead, turning down Owen's solid advice, failing to call Ianto and enlist his ready and willing help, when he knows it's there, all because he wants The Date to be perfect.  It's sweet, but stupid.  

 

TWTWTWTW

It must have been several hours later that Jack peeled his face of his desk, where he’d been drooling, He felt like his brain had been pulled out and his head stuffed fully with cotton, but at least his headache was dulled and he wasn’t sneezing. Scratch that, he thought as he drew in a breath for what he thought was going to be a sneeze, but the tickle abated frustratingly just shy of a release. He sniffed cautiously and scrubbed at his face. He checked the time—thought he should get himself cleaned up and presentable. He was supposed to pick Ianto up at 7:00.

He clumsily descended the ladder to his bunker, brain clearly not connecting fully to his body just yet, but he managed just the same, thinking that a shower might clear his head a bit. He hoped it would relieve the tickle in his sinuses that he couldn’t seem to summon a sneeze to dispel, despite coming somewhere close several times. He decided that 21^st century cold remedies left something to be desired. While he was at it he also decided that 21^st century head colds left something to be desired. He rubbed his nose roughly, but it brought no relief. He sniffed, waited for it, but didn’t sneeze.

The shower felt good and helped clear at least some of the cobwebbing from his brain. The steam from the shower seemed to ease the insistent tickle in his sinuses, to his great relief and he began to think that he might manage not to ruin this date after all.

He dressed himself carefully, combed his hair and eyed himself critically in the mirror. He thought his eyes looked a bit puffy, and his nose was a bit red but not horribly so. Maybe Ianto wouldn’t notice. He drew a sudden breath, but then relaxed again when the sneeze didn’t come. If he could just get that sneeze out, he thought he’d be fine. Well, fine enough to make it through the evening without ruining it. He rubbed at his nose and ascended the ladder from his bunker, pausing in his office for what he felt sure would finally be the sneeze that wouldn’t come. Heh….eh….hehhh….and then nothing. He massaged his nose irritably and checked the time. He had thirty minutes before he’d need to leave to pick up Ianto. Time enough to work out that sneeze, he thought.

 

[Seeker]

Thank you for the information! It's very kind of you to relay your experience with it.

 

Love this story!! 

1 hour ago, Jelloicious said:

It must have been several hours later that Jack peeled his face of his desk

Beautiful imagery here

1 hour ago, Jelloicious said:

Heh….eh….hehhh….and then nothing. He massaged his nose irritably and checked the time. He had thirty minutes before he’d need to leave to pick up Ianto. Time enough to work out that sneeze, he thought

Oh it's gotta come out sometime  

[Selene]

3 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Okay, really the question we care about is 'What Could Possibly Go Wrong with This Scenario?'

I'm hoping a lot of things   I'm glad you've included the Jack taking every cold medicine on the planet at once-scene, because it showed just HOW desperate he was (and how completely incapable of handling colds )

 

Peele-face Jack is my new obsession That was such a perfect image and so well put

 

3 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

He decided that 21^st century cold remedies left something to be desired. While he was at it he also decided that 21^st century head colds left something to be desired.

Oh Jack, dear, poor, grumpy Jack! I am so looking forward to see how the date will go with Jack being so grumpy and deliciousy irritated because of the cold

Also: can't wait for this sneeze to finally burst out at the most inconvenient moment possible

 

Edited March 21, 2018 by Selene

[AngelEyes]

7 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Maybe Ianto wouldn’t notice.

Wishful thinking I'm sure!

 

3 hours ago, Selene said:

Also: can't wait for this sneeze to finally burst out at the most inconvenient moment possible

I second this!

The delightful anticipation is of pending disaster is fantastic!

[AngelEyes]

17 hours ago, ReidSeeker said:

Honestly I am not sure what I need to do...something about having enough posts? Maybe? I'm not a writer, so it will probably be a while.

If you are over 18 and wish to gain access to this board please have your age and DOB in your profile and PM an Administrator (Dusty15, PuddinPop or BlackScatter). You must be ranked at least 'Poster' or higher to be eligible. 

A "Poster" should have 50 posts I believe, which you appear to have. The mods may not have noticed this yet. I would contact one of them and just ask for access, as long as you have the other things done.

[Seeker]

7 hours ago, AngelEyes said:

If you are over 18 and wish to gain access to this board please have your age and DOB in your profile and PM an Administrator (Dusty15, PuddinPop or BlackScatter). You must be ranked at least 'Poster' or higher to be eligible. 

A "Poster" should have 50 posts I believe, which you appear to have. The mods may not have noticed this yet. I would contact one of them and just ask for access, as long as you have the other things done.

Oh wow thank you! I'm going to work on figuring this out  You rock!

[Jelloicious]

 

Next up, in "Let's Torture Jack Harkness Week":

TWTWTWTW

 

Jack considered how he might go about freeing that stubborn sneeze. He had convinced himself that, if he just could get the tickle out, he would be good, and that all he needed to sooth that tickle would be to shake loose one proper sneeze. He hadn’t ever really given much thought to making himself sneeze before, having never been in this position. Pepper? Flowers? Feathers? The down of a Phordelian hobgoss? (Not practical. Also probably extinct in this relative time frame). He tried to recall whether there was anything in particular he could count on to make himself sneeze. He tried blowing his nose to see if that would help (it didn’t).

His breath hitched, he closed his eyes and dear seven gods of Araphia WHY could he not...just...sneeze??

He checked the time. Limited time, limited options. To be fair, the cold medicines only claimed to offer relief from actual sneezing, they didn’t say anything about relief from...the...need….to...DAMMIT! Sneeze. Jack rubbed his nose, frustrated and coughed, which didn’t actually help. A cursory check of the kitchenette revealed no obvious source of pepper. Of course, Ianto would know where it was, Jack was sure. Somewhere, Ianto had probably filed away a whole stash of the little pepper packets that came with take out, but it wasn’t like Jack could actually ring him up and ask. He sniffed. Closed his eyes, and….almost...

Jack thought he might try sniffing at the flowers in Owen’s hothouse. It seemed to him that something in there has tickled his nose enough to make him sneeze the last time he’d been in there. Surely, that was just the thing. He checked the time again. He’d best get moving. It wouldn’t do at all to be late.

In the hothouse, he looked around, and sniffed experimentally, but it didn’t seem to make a difference. Then again, last time, he and Ianto had been in the little hothouse probably a good hour before anything really got to him enough to evoke a sneeze. He didn’t have an hour. He was going to need a more direct approach. He picked up a little potted plant that was an impossible shade of purple and sniffed at it. Nothing.

Methodically, he worked his way through, trying with each flowering plant, stopping at least twice on the verge of a sneeze that just wasn’t going to come, still no success. No sneezes, and no release from the insane tickling. He pressed his fingers into his eye sockets, trying vainly to release the insanely ticklish discomfort in his sinuses and wondered just how much of a flub he was going to make of his date. He sniffed again. Ahhh, ahhhh...ahhhh…...nothing. Ahhh……. ahhhh!!! ahhhh!! It was there, he could feel it. He would have given his soul for one...good….sneeze.

He sighed. He returned to the impossibly purple plant, inspecting it, and finally thumping it with a finger in annoyance. He almost dropped the plant when it trembled, and suddenly the flower exploded, enveloping him in a shimmering golden cloud. Years of training and experience kicked in and he held his breath reflexively, even as his eyes started tearing. But really, what was he here for if not to find something to shake loose that sneeze. He very deliberately closed his eyes and took a deep sniff.

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

Ohhh, Jack...!

[AngelEyes]

5 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

The down of a Phordelian hobgoss? (Not practical. Also probably extinct in this relative time frame).

LOL!

 

5 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

His breath hitched, he closed his eyes and dear seven gods of Araphia WHY could he not...just...sneeze??

I Love this! Appealing to alien gods! Perfect!

 

5 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

He very deliberately closed his eyes and took a deep sniff.

Cruel!!! The anticipation! Leaving us hanging! (But oh so good!)

[Selene]

6 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Next up, in "Let's Torture Jack Harkness Week"

*comfortably leans back in her armchair* Ah, my favourite programme's on!

 

You really, really, really teased us with this sneeze... *sigh* So good

7 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

for one...good….sneeze.

 

I'd like to second AngelEye's comment. These references to aliens and other dimensions (timey wimey stuff ^^ ) made Jack own that scene!

7 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

A cursory check of the kitchenette revealed no obvious source of pepper. Of course, Ianto would know where it was, Jack was sure.

Ianto, the pepper fairy I loved how he has no clue whatsoever where to find pepper in his own kitchen Reminds me of one of my OCs, he's also useless when it comes to navigating a kitchen

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

1 hour ago, Selene said:

8 hours ago, Jelloicious said:

Next up, in "Let's Torture Jack Harkness Week"

*comfortably leans back in her armchair* Ah, my favourite programme's on!

HEE!!!

I see we have similar tastes....

[Selene]

12 minutes ago, MyOwnPrivateSFC said:

HEE!!!

I see we have similar tastes....

Yay!  

And I regret nothing

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

Nor do I.

[Jelloicious]

17 hours ago, Selene said:

Ianto, the pepper fairy

If that's not a prompt for a salaciously ill-planned evening in fetish fic, I don't  know what is. 

17 hours ago, Selene said:

I loved how he has no clue whatsoever where to find pepper in his own kitchen

Oh, I am quite sure that Jack can cook spectacularly.  You wait around on Earth for a century, you do have time to pick up some mad skills.  Jack not having any idea where to find pepper in his own kitchen is more a testament to Ianto's success in thoroughly making himself subtly, invisibly and absolutely indispensable to the effective running of Torchwood 3.

18 hours ago, AngelEyes said:

Cruel!!! The anticipation! 

Nope...cruel is what I'm about to do to Jack....(ahem)

 

TWTWTWTW

For a moment, Jack thought it wasn’t going to work at all. Then before he could form a coherent thought about what to do next, he reflexively drew in a breath with a desperate gasp and sneezed a spectacular, teeth rattling, ear popping sneeze that sent an audible crack through about half of his vertebrae, releasing tension he hadn’t even realized was there. Hahhhhh….ACHschUUUUUUUUUU!!!! It was simply the most glorious sneeze he’d ever experienced in his entire drawn out extended life! He sniffed experimentally, and allowed himself half a moment to celebrate his success, grinning delightedly. That sneeze had done wonders to clear the last of the medicated fog from his brain, and nothing at all was...wait...he closed his eyes, unafraid of the tickle that would summon a second, hopefully equally spectacular sneeze.

Then it came, just as powerful, almost, even, orgasmic. Hahhhhh…Ahhh….KsCHOUOOOOOOO!!!! He sniffed, and wondered just what that purple flower was, and how often he might expect it to bloom. And then he sneezed a third time, sniffed wetly, satisfyingly, drew a breath and sneezed a fourth time.  And then all he could do was sneeze. Violently, repeatedly, desperately. hahhh-AShuhhhh! Hahh… Hahhh-ACHShuhhhh!! HaaCHShhhhhhhoooo!! Ihhhhhschhh! Hahhh-AkShhhhhh!! K’hhhhhschhh! He fled the hothouse blindly, eyes streaming, nose running, sneezing sneeze after intensely powerful sneeze. He managed somehow to locate a box of tissues, and pressed a handful over his nose and mouth as he continued to sneeze, barely able to pull in a breath between them. hahhh-AShuhhhh! Hahh… Hahhh-ACHShuhhhh!! hccKSHHHHH! ACHShhhhhhhoooo!! hahhh-AShuhhhh! Hahh… Hahhh-ACHShuhhhh!! HaaCHShhhhhhhoooo!! Ihhhhhschhh! Hahhh-AkShhhhhh!! K’hhhhhschhh!  Hahhh-ACHShuhhhh!! hccKSHHHHH! ACHShhhhhhhoooo!!

Stumbling, Jack  found his way  to the couch,  still catching powerful sneezes in already hopelessly sodden tissues, light headed, and unable to do more than Ihhhhhschhh! Ihhhhhschhhooo!!! HaaCHShhhhhhhoooo!! Ihhhhhschhh! Hahhh-AkShhhhhh!! K’hhhhhschhh! so hard and fast he thought he might actually pass out as he struggled to draw in a breath between the relentless sneezes, so powerful it felt like his skull might separate from his spine.

He couldn’t have said how long this went on, but by the time the sneezes began to slow down, he felt as if he’d been drowning, pulled under by a deadly riptide, breathless, and exhausted from the fight. Every part of him hurt. He didn’t dare move, lest he start another fit. He swallowed gingerly, painfully, a handful of tissues pressed to his still running nose, and closed his eyes, just for a moment and focused himself of the pounding of his own racing pulse, terrified that at any minute it would all start over again. 

Gradually, his heart rate slowed, and he was able to catch his breath, and he lay his still pounding head down, carefully.  He desperately needed to go splash some cold water on his face, possibly even change his dress shirt, he wasn't sure.   But the all-consuming exhaustion that blanketed him after everything weighted him down on the couch and pulled him under, even as he told himself he really needed to get moving.