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Alice in Sneezeland- the End


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I can't find the old topic so sod it. It helps me to finish things.


The four knights and Alice raced into the throne room. A grand room, with space for many to follow- and the Rose-people did. There was a tension in the air; they sensed something was about to break.

Everyone waited for a moment, but the knights looked to Alice to speak.

"King and Queen,"  she said, "You are relieved of your duties."

The Queen stood, her rotund body trembling with anger.

"How dare you? What are you? The ridiculous sneezing lady? Ha!" She gestured to the Knight of Roses, and he drew his sword.

Alice felt herself drawing her own sword. Her own sword? Where had it come from? But it felt right in her hands. The preparation was automatic, like the buildup to a sneeze.

"Please, don't." Said Alice. "Stop now."

"Kill her!" Shouted the Queen.

Sir Roses lunged forward, and Alice clashed swords with him- then again, then once more. A blow cut her leg and she screamed. Then the evil Knight readied his sword for the kill- and suddenly Alice saw what shehad to do. In a moment she stuck her sword through the Knight's side.

The Knight fell to the floor in front of her. He was broken and beaten.

"Okay- please kill me lady!" He said. "Kill me!"

The whole court seemed to hold its breath.

Alice raised her sword- then carefully placed it on the cobbled floor.

"I won't kill you. Aaah... AAAAH... AHSHOOO!!"

With the sound of Alice's loud sneeze, a Knight's tunic appeared around her dress, and the sign of a blood-red rose appeared upon her chest. The Knight of Violets approached her.

"Alice- by showing mercy you have passed the Knight's Test. Now, you are a true Knight of the Garden." He looked around. "Hmm... in the abscence of a true Queen, I suppose we must do the honours."

The Knight of Lilies unsheathed his sword. Instincively, Alice knew what to do, and went down on one knee. The Knight brought his sword to one of her shoulders, and then the other.

"I dub thee Sir, Knight of the Garden, Protector of the Rose-Bed... arise, Sir Alice!"

Alice stood up. A tremendous feeling had gripped her. The Knight of Daffodils nudged the Knight of Violets in the ribs; Violets cleared his throat and spoke loudly.

"Please stand for the Knights' Hymn!"

Everyone in the crowd was standing already, but a stillness settled over them. Then, the three knights began to sing; to Alice's suprise their voices were delicate and beautiful. She knew the melody, but not the words.

"When a knight won her spurs in the stories of old,
She was gentle and brave, she was gallant and bold,
With a rose on her coat and a flower in her hair,
For God and for Garden she rode here and there.

On her charger she rides through the midsummer breeze,
Through dust and through pollen, with sniffle and sneeze,
For hayfever won't keep a knight from her work
When a wickedness deep in the Garden does lurk.

Let faith be her soil and let joy be her seed
'Gainst the sharks of aggression, the Jabberwocks of greed,
And let her rejoice at the wonder of birth
Of the tiniest flower that grows on God's Earth."

Alice bowed her head in respect, but felt again she had to sneeze.

"Excuse me, because I- I- ah- AH- SHOOOO!"

"Bless!" chorused the crowd.


A great feast was had that night in the palace of Roses.

Arrangements had to be made. The old Queen and the Knight of Roses should really have been executed, but Sir Alice said she would not hear of it- they were sent to be gardeners for the rest of their days, and learn the world by root and leaf. The Knights resolved to look for the true Princess of Roses, who had been lost for many years overseas. A ship, called the Bumblebee, was being prepared for their transport.

Alice realised she wanted to go home.

"Oh, no difficulty there!" said Sir Lilies. "Now we have the use of the Magic Mirror. Though... we'll miss you."

He lead her to a mirror which showed a dark street; ALice recognised it as her home town.

"Oh, good Sir Lilies!"

Alice hugged him tightly, and the Knight blushed.

"Oh dear me! Not what I expected, what!"

"Goodbye Sir Knight."

"Goodbye Alice. And don't stray too far- the Garden may yet need you."

Alice began to cry as the magical door closed itself, a warm feeling sweeping over her. In a moment she was back home.

She walked home. Perhaps it had never happened.

Although she suddenly realised she was wearing a golden ring, with the emblem of a rose on it. That wasn't there before was it?




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13 minutes ago, Heathcliff said:

I can't find the old topic so sod it.

Here it is: 



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