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"Caught in the Act" - IASIP, MacDennis, 1/2


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Mac should have known better than to do it out in the open.

It didn’t matter that Dennis took the medicine that always knocked him out for eight solid hours, or that Mac could hear him snoring, the sound more pronounced through the cold coating his throat. He knew Dennis could still wake up at any moment, and he did, Mac only realizing when he heard the bedroom door open. It gave him just enough warning to slam the laptop shut, pull the blanket up, and pretend he wasn't just jerking himself off on their communal furniture.

Being caught in the act was less of a concern than the material that prompted the act in the first place. StudSnuffin00 - it was said the zeros represented his nostrils just before a sneeze - had posted a new wav after several long days without activity. He hadn't even commented on Mac’s most recent obs about Dennis's cold, and he always had something nice to say about them. He was the only consistent commenter, but that didn't matter, because Stud was a stud, he really seemed to like Mac, and his videos always guaranteed a nut-bustingly good time. Including this latest one.

He didn’t plan on getting interrupted right at the good part - what Stud liked to call the grand finale.

Mac always did this sort of thing in private. Not jerking off - he and Dennis had no problem doing it in the same room, sometimes right next to each other, which wasn't gay because their dicks never touched - but this sneezing thing was something Mac planned on taking to the grave. He could barely explain it to himself, let alone someone else; and not just someone, but his roommate, his best friend, and the guy he wanted to bang more than anybody. The prospect making things awkward with Dennis was enough motivation to keep his interests under wraps. Instead, Mac enjoyed his sneezes in secret; it wasn't a bad trade-off, especially during times like this, when Dennis was homebound and sick as a dog. Mac tried to sleep on the couch as much as possible whenever Dennis wasn't well, making up wild excuses as to why his own bed was no longer an option. He wanted to hear every little thing he could - every cough, every sniffle, every unrestrained, wall-shaking sneeze - and Dennis, drained as he was, never questioned it. He was generally healthy enough that he only got colds twice a year, but they always hit him hard, leaving him dazed and distracted for days, with milder symptoms that would linger for weeks long after he was “better.”

This cold was no different. Dennis was quiet and docile with a low fever, a sheep that had to be herded between the kitchen and the bedroom. Or course he wasn't all sheep - sometimes that wolf came out, especially when Mac was being a little too doting - but he was too weak to sustain his baseline levels of outrage for too long.

“Jesus Christ, dude,” he rasped, clutching his chest when he saw Mac on the couch.

He was more startled than upset, his voice hoarse from a drugged, prematurely interrupted sleep. Mac could tell he wanted to follow up with a reprimand, but was too tired to make it count. He didn't seem to suspect that Mac had just been getting intimate with himself; he didn't even seem to be completely awake. When he spoke again, his voice slurred and barely above a whisper. “What’re you still doin’ up?”

“I had a bad dream,” Mac said, tossing out his prepared answer to the question he anticipated.

Dennis was definitely looking at him now, or maybe through him. “Yeah, me too...”

“What was it abou…”

Mac trailed off when Dennis turned away, sniffling as he wandered into the kitchen. He didn’t talk about his dreams. He opened the fridge door, closed it, and took a long, deep breath. Mac felt his heart jolt in his chest, but it was only a yawn; sometimes the light from the fridge cutting through the darkness could trigger a sneeze or two. Mac was somewhat grateful; as much as he wanted them, he wasn't sure if he could handle any sneezes right now, not when he was struggling not to fall apart. He wished Dennis would just go back to bed, but he opened the fridge door again, squinting into the glowing interior.

“I should have gotten juice,” he said, sounding disappointed in himself. It was not a fitting tone for him, but not one that was unfamiliar when he was sick like this.

“I can get you some in the morning.”

He began to protest, but Mac cut him off, his voice louder and stronger for once. “I may as well,” he insisted. “I have to go out anyway for the-”


The fridge door slammed shut again, condiments rattling loosely. Mac, having just relaxed, was back in full alert. He mumbled a soft “Bless you” and watched Dennis lean back against the refrigerator door, rubbing his nose against his wrist. He hoped that would be it, and that Dennis would leave now, but Mac could just tell from the look on his face there was another one coming. Dennis glanced around the kitchen as if searching for something, his nostrils flaring weakly.

“We have any whihhKSHhhuh--whiskey?” He sneezed openly towards the floor, then kept on talking, his voice sounding more congested. “I could use a drink… I can’t be getting the shakes on top of this.”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Mac said. “That medicine had plenty of alcohol.”

He sat up and scooted to the far end of the couch when Dennis finally ambled over, bottle in hand. “What, are you hanging out here now?” he asked.

“I suppose I could drink alone in my room,” Dennis said, pausing halfway to sitting down. “But that feels kind of pathetic.”

He proceeded to sink fully into the couch, closing his eyes and letting his head rest against the cushioned back.  Mac wondered for a moment if he might fall asleep there; his breathing was slowing, and for a while he didn't speak.

Suddenly an “AHSHHH’HOW!!” burst from the laptop speakers, causing them both to jump. It must have autoplayed the next video on the playlist, with the soft, hitching buildups and that masculine explosion! Mac heard the plastic Jim Beam bottle clatter to the floor and reached for the laptop as Dennis cast around drowsily for his spilling drink.

“Was that you?” he asked, sounding and looking so out of it that Mac believed he really did just fall back asleep next to him.

“Yeah, I, uh… I think you got me sick, bro.”

“Aww.” Dennis sounded genuinely disappointed. “I’m sorry, man.”

“It’s fine, but I gotta go…” He stood up and backed away from the couch, strategically positioning the laptop over his boner. “I don’t wanna-uhh… you, um… you...”

Dennis tilted his head, looking confused. It was only when Mac’s laptop sneezed again that his expression shifted into something that Mac couldn’t recognize.

“I've interrupted something...” he said, smirking now. Mac hoped he was just imagining that Dennis looked like he totally knew what was going on here.

“What? No. What do you mean?” he shouted over a full, sexy double from StudSnuffin00.

“Come on, man, you know me better than that,” he said, pawing absently at his nose as he spoke. “There are no secrets between us. You never erase your search history. I know you’re into some interesting stuff. And that's fine. I mean, who isn’t?”

He laughed, but Mac was ready to throw his computer out the window and run. Before he could get any momentum going Dennis was standing up and taking the laptop from his arms. He set it calmly on the coffee table, as if sensing that Mac had planned some violent end for it.

“Anyone can take these videos and post them online, and it’s good enough for a little while,” he said, opening the lid and tsk-ing in distaste at the image before him. “But it’s never as good as the real thing, is it?”

He turned the laptop off and slowly closed the lid.

“I know what you like, Mac… you aren’t a very discreet person.”

Mac swallowed. Dennis took the laptop and handed it back to him, along with something plastic; a small canister of white pepper he had presumably snagged from the kitchen. Mac tossed the laptop aside - it landed safely on the couch, but at this point he didn't care what happened to it - and looked from the container to Dennis, who was biting his bottom lip and waiting for his response.

“What’s this?” Mac stuttered.

“Dude, stop playing dumb,” Dennis said, his aggravation derailing his seduction efforts. “I read the shit you post on that little website. I see how you act when I get sick. Do you want me to do this for you, or not?”

“I…” Mac went from panicked, to relieved, to confused. “You don’t think it’s weird?”

“I mean, yeah, it’s weird,” Dennis said, staring into the space between them. “But not much weirder than getting tied up and fucked... it’s certainly more… creative, but-”

“You’d really do it?” Mac interrupted, his butterflies of dread transforming into butterflies of excitement, even as Dennis glared at him murderously. 

“Oh my God, yes, but not if you keep asking instead of doing.

“Well, do you really want me to use pepper?”

“How else would I do it?”

“Uh. You’re sick?”

Dennis rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t mean I can sneeze on command.”

“You sure about that?” Mac asked, feeling bold enough to reach out and grab his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

He managed to give it a small, gentle tug before Dennis jerked away, cupping his hands over his nose in a protective gesture. Soon after he started rubbing at the irritated body part, his eyes scrunched shut as his breath hitched twice in quick succession. The sneezes that followed were incredibly desperate. The sound tickled a part of Mac he didn't even know existed.

“eh-heh-EISHHhhuhh! IHDSHHhhiiuu!

“God bless you,” Mac said, feeling very pleased with himself, even as Dennis glared at him through red, watery eyes.

“That wasn’t the plan!” he snapped.

“So what? It got you to sneeze.”

Mac stepped forward, but Dennis backed up, holding one hand out to stop his advance while the other curved around his nose. “hiihIHSHhhu!!

Bless you!”

Dennis thanked him breathlessly, then sniffled, wiping the corner of one eye with the heel of his hand. “But do be a favor and ease up on that dark ages crap.” He paused to sniffle again. “You don't need to say it every tibe.”

“I guess, but I like it when... Mac began, stopping when it was clear that Dennis wasn't able to listen. He exhaled heavily, eyes glazing over and losing focus as he turned away from Mac.

For the first time, Mac realized how much control he had over the situation.

“You don't have to cover,” he said, noticing how his friend’s breathing changed when he spoke. “It doesn't gross me out or anythi-"

He smirked as Dennis swatted at him, predictably, as Mac spoke through what was almost always a frustratingly efficient build-up. The only proven way to knock Dennis off course was to start talking over him; for some reason that caused the sneeze to retreat from anywhere from a few seconds to a few minutes. It was guaranteed to lengthen the process, and very rarely did it result in him losing the sneeze completely.

Despite Mac's assertion, Dennis kept one hand hovering by his face. His expression wavered between two degrees of irritation, both of which seemed to make his nostrils flare in the most delectable way. The look in his watery eyes when Mac started talking again was downright murderous.

“Seems like that one got a little stuck,” Mac teased. “So annoying, huh? Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.”

They both knew what he was doing was not helping.

For a moment Dennis seemed to be on the edge of a release but then he huffed out a defeated breath, the tension leaving his shoulders as he fixed Mac with another glare. When he spoke his words sounded a little gummy. “Goddammbit, Mac... this is starting to becumb very unfund for me. I may rescind my offer,” he threatened.

“No no, don't do that,” Mac exclaimed, panicking. “I'll just watch you. I won't say a word unless you want me to. Do you want me to use the pepper? It might work good, I just don't want you to hurt yourself, or-"

“Sit down,” Dennis said, before adding, with a piercing look, “and be quiet.”

Mac sat down and stopped talking.

Dennis pushed the laptop aside so he could sit next to him, then located the little container of ground white pepper that was clenched between Mac’s sweaty fist. He swallowed hard as Dennis seized his right hand, wiping it against his shirt to dry it off before cracking open the top of the spice canister. With the precision of a scientist he tapped out a tiny sample of pepper, forming a neat line along the ridge of Mac's curved thumb. Despite his calm appearance, his feverish gaze and disheveled hair spoke to a crazed sense of determination.

Mac held perfectly still throughout the process, his eyes fixed on the soft beige substance. “Don't do too much,” he warned.

Dennis coughed, but sudden as it was he managed to cover; not a single speck of pepper was compromised. He always seemed to have a hand ready to catch any cough or sneeze that made it past his first lines of defense. It was very annoying to Mac, who preferred the candid, open glimpses he got when Dennis didn't think anyone was watching, or when he was too tired to care.

Not that the covered sneezes were bad. Everything Dennis did was so much better than any wav or video or piece of fiction Mac had ever heard or seen. As annoying as it was when he hid his face, Mac was grateful that he would even do this at all, even if Dennis was only looking to satisfy his own needs. If anything, that made the situation even better. Mac wanted his best friend to be satisfied, too.

Gently, Dennis took Mac's wrist, drawing his hand to his face as he lowered his head slightly. Mac didn't resist as held his hand steady and snorted the line of pepper off his thumb. Immediately he sat back, wrinkling his nose and shaking his head.

“Eugh… ohhh…” He cringed, clearly not prepared for the sensation that flooded over him. “Wow, that--hh!--really stihhhings…”

Mac quietly offered him the tissue box and even though his eyes were closed now, Dennis seemed to sense it in front of him. He grabbed a tissue and promptly sneezed into it, rocking forward.

“heh-kgshhhoo!-heehh... ih’DSHHoo!

Mac barely managed a “Bless-” before Dennis whipped a pillow at his face, effectively silencing him. He turned himself away from Mac, panting his way through a teasing build-up. With zero concern for his own safety, Mac placed the palm of his hand against the space between Dennis's shoulders - an attempt at a comforting gesture. Shockingly the other man didn't react, at least not in a negative way. If anything he seemed to relax a little, some of the rigidity leaving his body.

“Stupid idea…” Mac could hear him mumble, just before he threw himself back into the tissue, catching a third sneeze in his tight grip. The poor guy sounded exhausted, and rightfully so; even his stifled sneezes seemed to rock his whole body. Mac wondered if it was even good for him to be doing this.

“Hey, take it easy,” he insisted, his concern for his friend starting to outweigh his desire. “You've done more than enough. Try blowing your nose.”

Dennis sniffled, grabbing for another tissue. He took a deep, controlled breath, presumably to follow Mac’s suggestion, but sneezed again instead. ESHHhh-oo!! Jesus Christ.”

“Okay, but leave the Son of God out of this,” Mac said firmly.

Dennis had no further comment. This time he managed to blow his nose uninterrupted, but almost set himself off again when he wiped along the septum with the folded tissues. Mac watched eagerly as he closed his eyes, brow furrowed and nostrils quivering, but nothing ever developed. Maybe he was all sneezed out for the moment.

“I'm going to take a shower,” he sighed, sitting forward and rubbing at his eyes with both hands.

“Sounds good. How often do you want me to check in?”

Dennis looked at him. “Do not bother me in there.”

“Got it,” Mac relented. “I'll just listen to make sure you're okay.”

“Listen from a distance,” Dennis said. When he got to the hallway he turned and looked at Mac with the ghost of a smirk. “Feel free to finish up out here. I'll be at least an hour.”

Mac had no response; he simply watched Dennis disappear into the bathroom. The laptop and living room were all his, but he’d suddenly lost interest in StudSnuffin00’s new wav.

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Yes hello this is amazingly written, and I love the incorporation of the fetish?? Also those first few sneezes and talking through the one? 10/10, my dude. Thank for you for blessing us ( :awesum: ) with this. 

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Hoollyy shit. It's been over a year since I watched this show and this fic has completely resparked my interest. Best fic I've written in a hot minute.

This is written in a way so accurate to Mac and his dialogue. 

On 5/15/2018 at 7:04 AM, Anonymouse said:

StudSnuffin00 - it was said the zeros represented his nostrils just before a sneeze - had posted a new wav after several long days without activity. He hadn't even commented on Mac’s most recent obs about Dennis's cold, and he always had something nice to say about them

Also it's hilarious? 

On 5/15/2018 at 7:04 AM, Anonymouse said:

“I've interrupted something...” he said, smirking now.

And so hot.

Dennis describing Mac's kink as "creative" and wanting to indulge it? 🔥🔥🔥 Big yes. This entire fic: big yes.

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  • 2 weeks later...

guhhhh, Anony, I so rarely actually check the forum these days so I was thrilled to find this fic! I basically binge-watched the show the end of last year and fell in love with these stupid, corrupt characters.

This fic is so so unbelievably sexy. Just....Mac with the fetish works so well?? And Dennis willing to indulge him, knowing how Mac likes to watch him and just being the narcissist he is...it's all so perfect and well written. LOVE it. Can't wait for part 2!  :innocent:

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