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Hulking Cold (Incredible Hulk) *Male*


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So I’ve been reading the Immortal Hulk -one of the newer Hulk comics-and it’s SUUUUUUPER good and has totally stirred up the love I have for the Hulk and well— i dunno— like I love intelligent Hulk (and Mr. Fixit) but more —- simple *—that run with that kid and the monkey—*primal/do-good-er Hulk is just *that Italian move where you kiss your fingers and throw them up in the air* the best. And like when Banner can see Hulk in reflective surfaces!!— Love how he’s still a presence!!- soooo ya know the comics and shows and movies only really show People and Creatures attacking the Hulk— but I mean come on there’s got to be SOME good characters out there— and like I wanted to capture that—// and like as much as I love the idea of the Hulk having a super breath kinda sneeze— I don’t think that’s how it’d really be— kinda like with the first ‘Incredible Hulk’ movie—- and like uncovered cause why would the Hulk care-?-? Ya he wouldn’t— but also love the idea of Banner’s illness transferring over the the not so jolly green giant— and no I’m not proofing this and summarizing my previous rant—)



Hulking Cold


Bruce Banner eyed the green nose in his reflection. 

He avoided making eye contact the furious gaze of the Other Guy as he tried vainly to see himself. The irritatingly bright light above the mirror making him squint.

“Heh... EhhH-huh...” Pressing his finger forcefully under his nose the tingling in his nose slowly went away. 

Even without ‘his’ reflection Bruce knew the fleshy appendage has to be a harsh Pink by now from all of his rubbing and blowing.

With a heavy sigh, he stepped back from the sink and tossed the used paper hand towels into the waste bin before exiting the bathroom. The diner had less then a handful of people at this time in the morning. Not factoring in that it was located in the middle of nowhere Colorado... Utah? California? 

Hell, he couldn’t recall anymore. And it really didn’t matter where he was so long as he kept his temper. 


Sliding back onto the bench the cracked vinyl squeaked with years of use. Looking out the window to the dark desolation outside he found some comfort with being inside. He’d have to leave soon, the shadowy behemoth in the window reminded him of that. But he’d enjoy the peace for a bit longer.


“Here you go Hun.”


Bruce jumped and whirled around at the voice just behind him. 


“Oh I’m sorry ‘bout that Luv,” the waitress chuckled as she set the plate of ordered food down. Filling up his coffee cup.


“Oh-uh, thanks,” Bruce murmured as he casted his gaze down and away and to the plate now before him. 


“There anything else I can get’cha?” 


He’d glanced her name tag when she’d taken his order. “No. Thank you, Nikkie.” He said with his head still down. 


“Well alright Mister...” Nikkie hummed as she turned to go. “Ya know? You look familiar...”


And there it was. 

He’d been recognized, and would have to leave. 

With a forced smile Bruce looked up to the waitress. “I just have one of those fac—“ 


But she wasn’t looking at him. Nikkie was on her way over to a man who’d just walked in. 


“How’ve you been George?”


“Hungry for the last 45 miles, Miss Nikkie,” George laughed as he sat down at the counter, taking off his trucker hat to set down to the side of him. 

“How’s your Mama been?”


Tension slowly left his shoulders as the conversation directed away from him, fading into the background of his attention. But still, that was too close for comfort. He’d leave the area soon. 

Turning to his meal, he took a congested sniff of the warm rising air.

Chicken soup.

Next to the bowel rested a packet of oyster crackers on the plate, along with a ladle like spoon. He’d felt the cold coming on early this morning and done his best to ignore the itch creeping in along his throat all while sniffling to keep his nasal passages as clear as he could. 


The first bite tastelessly scorched his tongue. Swallowing quickly the burning sensation, to his relief, soothed his throat somewhat.

Grabbing his cup the warm coffee slipped down his throat next. 

His brow raised as he noticed Nikkie talking to one of the other patrons in a booth. Bruce had spotted him as he’d walked passed him. 


Scabs, distant but bright eyes, wiry hair that hadn’t been washed in who knows how long.

A druggie, clearly.

“No...” he breathed as he saw her wrist being tightly held as the man got up to go with her.

Closing his eyes as he felt a rush of adrenaline. He tried to breathe through his nose but when the stuffed up appendage couldn’t take in any air he opened his mouth to do it.

He’s just gonna rob this place and leave, he thought trying to reassure himself and the Green Guy.


“Nikkie?” George called over to the young waitress as he saw a stranger grabbing her.


“J-J-Just stay back!” Came the nervous voice of the druggie.


But at Nikkie’s scream his eyes snapped open to see a gun pointing at the trucker who had his hands raised defensively.


A familiar swell of anger crashed through him as his body bust into pain as ‘dormant’ gamma radiation in his cells sprung to life. 


“Just get me the money!!” Leo screamed as he shoved the waitress towards the cash register. His gun still trained on the bulky trucker. 


Nikkie shook as she punched the buttons to open the register. 


At the ding of a bell Leo looked over to see the cash drawer slide open. Shoving Nikkie aside he grabbed the bills with his left hand and started loading up the pockets of his hoodie. 


The sound of wood splintering and destruction proceeded a monstrous roar that shook the diner windows causing Nikkie, and George to cover both their ears while Leo struggled to do the same with his full hands. 


Leo was shaking already as the drugs began wearing off, but his trembling hastened as a green giant approached from a decimated booth.

Pulling the trigger of the automatic, he shakily aimed for the massive target. 

Bullet after bullet hit but the monster continued to advance.

Urine darken the crotch of his jeans as the being loomed over him. 

Leo continued to pull the trigger, the hammer clicked as the chamber was out of bullets. 

“N-N-No-p-p-please,” he whimpered as he finally dropped his gun. 


With a wave of his hand, Hulk backhanded the dirty little man away from the cowering girl and fat man. 


Leo slammed through one of the diner’s windows. Completely unconscious as he landed outside in the dirt.


Nikkie hugged herself as close to the counter wall as she could as she watched the green giant, that the news had been calling ‘the Hulk,’ look from the window the robber had just gone through and to her. Fear made her throat tight. But as the Hulk’s lips pulled back in a sneer Nikkie’s scream belted out of her from the very core of her. 


Hulk heard the girl scream as his lips pulled back, and his chest swelled.

“HEhH!! HeHH!!” His head tipped back before coming back down with the jerk of his release. 



Nikkie screamed louder as droplets fell on her. 


Shaking his head after the sneeze, Hulk couldn’t understand why the girl was still screaming. He KNEW why of course. 


But he wasn’t going to hurt her and the man with the gun wasn’t a threat any longer. He lowered his hand to offer her help.

“Hulk won’t hur—“


“P-Please don’t hurt me,” Nikkie whimpered as she turned away. 


Rather then upset the girl further, Hulk moved away, head hung and shoulders hunched as he did his best to exit the doors of the diner without breaking them, but still the metal frame bent and glass broke as he went through. 


“Yes! It’s the Hulk!” George yelled into the receiver as he watched the green goliath step out of the diner.

“H-He’s here!”


Hulk looked over to see the man from the diner cowering in a phone booth. 


George could hear a voice asking him something but his focus was entirely on the Hulk. And in the next instance the green giant was gone. 


The warm night air whooshed passed Hulk as gravity brought him down from his leap. The diner now miles away. But he couldn’t shake the chill in him.

He wasn’t sure and didn’t care how far he’d gone as he kept jumping across the desert. But even he began growing weary. Coming to a halt, he noticed a weak light. Striding toward it, he came upon a bonfire.


“I’ve been waiting for you.”

A little old woman hobbled out of the darkness and sat down next to the fire prodding a log in further with her cane.


Hulk didn’t move, the darkness still had to be hiding him as he stayed just out of the fire’s light. 


Ahanu smiled as she continued to look into the fire.

“Come child,” She hummed as she waved her hand welcomingly in offer to towards the Hulk. “Your cold. Join me by the fire. I won’t bite.”


Hulk came forward and sat down across from the old woman.

The fire was small but Hulk watched as well as felt the light and warmth engulf him. 

Squinting his eyes at the increased brightness, his nose tickled sharply. 



Ahanu’s lips drew up in a small smile as the fire hissed at the Hulk sneezing on it. 

“Oh hush, you’re fine,” she hummed calmly to the light. “And bless,” she added with a nod to the Hulk. 


Hulk grimaced as he rubbed his nose with his finger. 

“How did you know Hulk was here?”


“Well,” Ahanu laughed, a hoarse sounding wheeze. “You’re not entirely stealth... and your size was blocking the stars.”


“You were waiting for Hulk,” the hand rubbing his nose closed into a fist. He’d been lured into traps before.


Ahanu nodded. 


“Why?” Hulk snapped angrily. 


Using her cane to aid her Ahanu got up and went around the fire.

“Because I know your nature, though it may be volatile... You do good... But it’s not always accepted as such.” 


Hulk thought back to the girl at the diner screaming at him.


Ahanu gently placed her hand on the Hulk’s arm, feeling just how cold he was. “And you deserve to see that there are those out there that appreciate what you do and want to help you.”


“H-Hulk d-don—“ Hulk stopped as he felt a sharp irritation in the middle of his face. 


“Yes, yes, you don’t need it. But it is something that you’ve wanted, no?” 


“NO!” Hulk growled out as rubbed his massive finger against his small nose. 


Ahanu’s smile fell at the Hulk’s stubbornness. Sighing, “Fine... Fine, you don’t want it... but it’s something you’re not used to...” Seeing that he was struggling to keep from sneezing brought back the old Native American woman’s smile. “So let me show you some kindness while you’re ill?” 


“Hulk not sick.”


“You are,” Ahanu said matter of fact while she shook her head at the Hulk’s obstinacy. “And while you’re still strong—“


“Hulk strongest there is!”


Ahanu’s head lifted as though listening to someone whisper to her.




“The military is coming for you...”


Hulk immediately got up and looked about the night sky and black desert floor for threats. 


“They’re not here, yet.” 


Hulk looked back to the old lady. Wetness from his nose gleamed in the firelight. 


“But they are coming...”


The memory of the trucker in the phone booth came back to him. 


“It wouldn’t be wise to have to fight in this state...” At seeing the Hulk open his mouth with determination in his eyes. “Even if you are the strongest there is,” Ahanu added to appease him. 


She’s right...


Hulk shook his head as though to clear it. 

“Puny Banner!”


Ahanu stayed quiet as she let the two personalities converse. 


I shouldn’t be able to talk to you... 


Hulk paused. He usually couldn’t hear his other half. 


But... there’s a... weakness


“Hulk not weak!”


Maybe so... but when we helped Dr. Strange—


Hulk growled as he thought back to the encounter less then a few days back, “I’ll smash magic man! Hulk hate magic!”


“That may be... But magic is indifferent to your opinion of it,” Ahanu hummed as as she struck her cane into the dirt as she started walking. “Come come, it’s late and you need to rest.” 


Hulk frowned as he turned to follow, frowning further as a small cottage appeared that hadn’t been there when he’d approached. “Stupid magic.” 


Ahanu chuckled, “It’s never wise to insult your host...”



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This giant teddy bear of a bean owo tbh wouldn't even be scared of him poor guy didn't even get a nice bless you manners anyone...geshuinght 

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