did i love my exes or just their sneezes???

[sickprincess]

it’s been a while since i was in a committed relationship. i’ve been casually dating, but for whatever reason haven’t wanted to become serious with any of those people.

then i started thinking, and realized that most of the relationships in my adult life started because of the fetish. the turning point for me has always been sickness or allergy related. like i’ll be kind of interested in someone, and then i hear them sneeze or talk about illness and that’s when i get hooked. 

did i even love any of these people?? i’m particularly concerned about my ex fiancé, because i’d been friends with him for years without wanting more and then i saw him with a cold and i was like “wow i have feelings for him.” although i honestly hated his sneeze tbh. but he was very much a caretaker so that definitely played into the fetish and possibly why i loved him.

has anyone else experienced this? 

[Sawyer]

It makes sense that you were able to see someone in a different light after they were in a situation that's inherently sexual to you! Sometimes the circumstances under which we start to see someone in "that way" can be a little unconventional. Doesn't always mean that the feelings that develop afterward weren't real.

[Zwee]

2 hours ago, Sen Beret said:

It makes sense that you were able to see someone in a different light after they were in a situation that's inherently sexual to you! Sometimes the circumstances under which we start to see someone in "that way" can be a little unconventional. Doesn't always mean that the feelings that develop afterward weren't real.

^^yes, exactly what Sen said!

I feel like you could compare your seeing a sneezy situation and therefore developing stronger, more sexually intimate feelings for that person with any vanilla person's equally stimulating scenario involving someone they thought was just a friend, but developing feelings because they saw that person in a new, somehow sexual way.

I completely understand that fear/confusion of if a relationship was technically 'love' or whatever (I've definitely been there), but don't feel like you need to diminish your relationships just because it took a sneeze-related scenario to allow you to view someone in a more intimate light!

[GoldenOwl]

I third what the two above me said. Imagine if you didn't like sneezing or caretaking....this sounds extremely similar to someone saying "I didn't realize how much I liked this guy...until he took his shirt off when we went to the beach and I saw his abs!"

It's extremely normal for this to happen!  

[March Hare]

I'll venture to state that it comes with the territory. Not for all of us always, obv, but yes. The strongest of turn-ons can turn your entire perception of someone on its head and glue the rosy romance-glasses on.

I'll go even further and say that if this weren't possible, no one would ever experience what is called love at first sight.

[Oceanmountains]

So, when I first met my husband we took things super slow. I though he was attractive, but I don't think I thought anything sexual about him right away. Then I heard him sneeze for the first time and realized he had the most perfect sneeze ever, and I started to become more sexually attracted to him. There were other specific moments I remember my attraction to him being bumped up a notch based on similar situations, such as: 

-When he told me a story about a time he sneezed uncontrollably for 20 minutes straight, because I had no idea he had sneezing fits. 

-The first bad pollen day of the year we first dated. He warned me in advance that if I saw him making funny faces it was because he had been needing to sneeze all day, and when he finally sneezed he was so relived.

-The first cold he had around me. 

-And then of course, the first sneezing fit he had in front of me. 

Did those things heighten my feelings about him sexually? Absolutely. But if there are still feelings there for someone even when they're not sneezing, the feelings are still genuine. I have no doubts that he is the love of my life, and those feelings would remain the same even if I never heard him sneeze. I think sneezing just adds another layer that makes relationships more dynamic.