Emetophobia and children

[Anyone]

I have very extreme emetophobia and I worry that it will inhibit my ability to possibly be a mother at some point. Little kids get sick all the time and I worry that I wouldn’t be able to handle it, especially if it was happening in my house and I had to be responsible for the cleanup. Are any of you parents with emetophobia and has it impacted your parenting? Do any of you share my anxiety?

[htkid1]

I have an interesting story with this. I too had extreme emetophobia as a teen and in my 20s. It impacted my social life and my job to some degree as there were things I couldn’t do because of it. However since I have had kids it has changed. I still get anxious about it in certain situations but I am, and have been since day one, perfectly capable of caring for my kids when they are sick. I mean I still am careful with cross contamination and I have taught my very young kids to aim for something easy to clean up. But having them has partially cured me of it. It won’t be that way for everyone but for me it’s been a revelation.

[Chanel_no5]

I'm not a parent, but I have cats (at one point I had six cats - five kittens and their mother who was a stray with stomach issues, she got sick a little bit several times daily for months until I got that sorted out), and I also have emetophobia to the point where I too was sick when someone else was, person or animal. It's still bad, and some times are worse than others, but when you're the one it depends on, you step up to it. 

This is a really freaky and disgusting event, so I'll put it under spoiler. You don't have to read it. It's BAD.

Spoiler

My cats are the offspring of a stray cat I took in so she would have somewhere safe to give birth. She and two of the kittens later (around 6 months later) stayed at a shelter for a few months until they got new owners, I found a new owner myself to one of the kittens, and I kept two. Only reason I didn't keep the mom was that she didn't want to be an indoors cat. ANYWAY. She likely carried all kinds of stuff, and I only dared to deworm with the lightest thing before she gave birth, which obviously didn't take everything. Well, one of the kittens coughed a bit when he was a baby, not a lot, but a bit. The others were fine. I almost thought he had asthma. Then he got a bit older, and he didn't cough anymore. Good, I though. Yeah, apparently, there's a sort of worm that they inhale the eggs of and then cough them up, swallow, and they grow into worms in their stomach. I did not know that. Until my baby boy had eaten a bit too much wet food a bit too fast, played around a bit too violently, and threw up. He threw up A LOT of wet food along with several living, an inch-and-a-half long, moving worms. I hadn't noticed him having any problems with his stomach before that, and I did keep an extra eye on him because of the cough he used to have. I think I was crying with how disgusting it was, but there literally was no one else to take care of it, that was my responsibility, so I somehow managed to do it.

And went straight to buy the strongest deworming paste kittens could take, and dewormed them all the same day. Poor cat. And I was supposed to be the one making all bad things go away, I wonder how long he had been feeling bad from those. Ew. 

After that event, as much as I still think it's disgusting when throw-ups happen, I doubt I'll ever come across another quite as vile, so I kinda feel like the worst in that regard is already behind me.   It is a natural thing to recoil from it, though, so I don't think you ever fully get comfortable around it, but when you're the caretaker/grownup, the one it depends on, you eventually learn to shut your brain off at least a bit while taking care of it. And as a bonus, I'm not as freaked out by it in other situations either. I'm still going to run for the hills if someone says they feel like they're going to be sick, and quarantine anyone who has the stomach flu, but I couldn't even watch movies if someone in a scene would throw up. I still think it's disgusting, but I can get past it and keep watching the movie. That was impossible ten years ago. 

 

[john_kimble]

If you want a kid you will just have to either:

A. Make your significant other do it.

B. Sick it up and face your anxiety.

[Anyone]

Thank you guys so much! 

On 11/11/2018 at 3:42 AM, htkid1 said:

I have an interesting story with this. I too had extreme emetophobia as a teen and in my 20s. It impacted my social life and my job to some degree as there were things I couldn’t do because of it. However since I have had kids it has changed. I still get anxious about it in certain situations but I am, and have been since day one, perfectly capable of caring for my kids when they are sick. I mean I still am careful with cross contamination and I have taught my very young kids to aim for something easy to clean up. But having them has partially cured me of it. It won’t be that way for everyone but for me it’s been a revelation.

This was honestly so comforting to read. I know it doesn’t work like that for everyone, but it’s nice to know that it’s something that could possibly be overcome. I’m really happy for you that your phobia hasn’t negatively impacted your parenting and I hope the same thing might one day be true for me if I decide to take my life in that direction. 

Also if anyone has any general suggestions for going through with emetophobia I would love to hear them. 

[Heathcliff]

I finally threw up after many years because of alcohol, which I have a problem with. But it wasn't half as bad as I had imagined.

I think if it happens when you have to vomit, or see someone else vomiting, you'll just deal with it. But of course I don't want it to happen, and it isn't a cure.

You're a strong woman and this fear is only a small part of you.

Edit: I have emetophobia in case you didn't guess

If I was rich I'd sponsor research on why sneeze fetishists seem to have this phobia more than others.

[Rock And Roll Boy]

It's the sound that gets me. I can watch someone vomit but the noises terrify me.

[AntlerDarling]

I also have emetophobia and the same fear that you do - that it will impact my ability to parent someday, and that I will also have to deal with morning sickness if I ever become pregnant. I'm so glad I'm not the only person who has this worry!

[Heathcliff]

There are so many babies appearing at work lately!

I still think that you should not worry, and if you have a child you'll love it so much you will be able to cope with the puking.

[Snottygurl]

I have it as well, and I was worried about the same thing but when its your own kids, your mother instinct will make it bearable. I still get the shakes and almost hyperventilate lol but I can deal with it ok with my kids. Anyone else NO.

[MoonDuck]

I've been worried about this for a long time as well! Now I've got it under control to the point where I wouldn't let the phobia stop me from having children, but the thought definitely freaks me out. I find possibly getting morning sickness much scarier.

I wanted to thank you guys for commenting because it's super reassuring to read. I can't wait to have kids and I don't want emetophobia to control any area of my life, even if it's not a reality yet.