Lord Bentley's Fire

[Geminerdi]

This is @TheCakeIsAlive's Secret Santa gift. I would've submitted it a few days ago, but I wasn't quite happy with it compared to what was asked for. But deadlines are deadlines and this one is quickly approaching, so here's to hoping this matches enough of your criteria!

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Oak. It was always oak, wasn’t it?

 

If it had been his own fire he was tending to, Wilford would’ve let himself sneeze as he did every night.  This wasn’t his fire, however, and as such he couldn’t let that happen. Lord Bentley wasn’t a pleasant man at the best of times and he certainly wouldn’t be any more pleasant if he were awakened in the dead of night by his footman’s sneezing. There was no choice but to wait until he was a good distance away from Lord Bentley’s quarters to sneeze, no matter how much his nose tickled now.

 

“Hehh….” Wilford wrinkled his nose, hoping the itch would fade. He didn’t need long, after all, only a few minutes. A few minutes and he could be back to the servants’ hall, where he could sneeze as long and hard as he wanted without risking Lord Bentley’s wrath. “HAHH!”

 

The sound startled him and he was the one who’d made it. Worse yet, the steady snoring of his master behind him came to a sudden, grinding halt. He cursed his nose for the troublesome nuisance it was, covering it with his handkerchief a few seconds later. It didn’t seem that had been quite enough to wake the lord, if the lack of yelling was any sign. The footman let out a slow, deep sigh of relief.

 

He went back to work, trying to get those precious few extra logs into the fireplace. Above all, his Lordship was particular about that. It simply wouldn’t do for eight logs or ten logs to be sitting there, heating his room in the chill of an autumn morning. No, it had to be nine, no more and no less. Had he bothered to have the fireplace be of an appropriate size, Wilford wouldn’t have minded this much. But what could be expected of nobles other than a taste for style over practicality?

 

More prickling itches spread up his nose as Wilford glared at the eighth log. The fireplace was already quite full and anyone with any sense could see there wasn’t room for another, let alone two more, pieces of firewood. No doubt, it could be done, as it’d been done for the last several years so far as he knew, but not within the time Wilford had before his nose rose up in rebellion against the devilish wisps of smoke floating into his face.

 

Quickly, he brought his handkerchief to his mouth once more, hoping that a few breaths through the fabric would buy him the necessary minutes to finish the task. Then he heard himself, gasping tiny, nigh-imperceptible hhH!’s with every breath. Perhaps the water in his eyes was more than a simple reaction to the smoke. If he hadn’t known better, he would think that he was about to…

 

“Hhh… hehh… HeEHH, HhHH’HTTSCHHH!”

 

…sneeze.

 

Again, the snoring stopped, but the snort that followed sounded much less a man in a restless sleep than before. Wilford’s nose, in that brief moment of defiance, had managed to wake Lord Bentley from his slumber. Still, perhaps if he could just press the handkerchief a bit harder to the underside of his nose, twitching as the smoke brought about that all-too familiar tightness of congestion, he could wait for the lord to fall back to sleep or if not sleep proper, sleep enough that he wouldn’t notice the footman’s presence.

 

It’d be all for naught if he sneezed again though.

 

And, rather unfortunately, he felt his eyelids squeezing themselves shut.

 

“HehhH – hehh… hHUuhH!” Wilford focused his entire being on the sole cause of not sneezing. He wouldn’t sneeze. He couldn’t sneeze. That smoke drifting in front of his face would not hold this power over him, not here and not now. “HuUHHHH!"

 

“Good God, man, are you going to sneeze or not? Get on with it!”

 

It was debatable whether Wilford could control his own nose under the best of circumstances. However, when he was startled by the lord of the manor shouting at him in the dead of night, he most certainly could not. There was no time for pleasantries or excuses. Right now, this every instant, with or against his master’s wishes, Wilford had no choice but to sneeze.

 

“HuhH-SCHHhh! Huh… huhH, HUUH-CCHHSHH! HhH’NXXSCHH! ‘HXSCHH!”

 

His sudden quadruplet of sneezes left his head spinning, the beginnings of a headache creeping from his sinuses. After all these years of sneezing his way through the manor, even he thought he would’ve learned by now not to stifle them, especially given how little it did for the noise. Yet he hadn’t and here he was once again, paying for the same damned foolishness that he always did. Unless…?

 

Perhaps one good sneeze, let out in all its itching glory, would right things.

 

“HuhHH-HUH-HhHUUUHhH…! HUUH’SCHUUUUH!”

 

His grand finale – or what he hoped was the finale – was much more violent than he’d expected. His sneezes were never particularly weak, but it was unusual for him to jerk forward more than an inch or two during the release. This sneeze, however, had been a bit larger than that. Something Wilford was acutely aware of as the scorched skin on the back of his hand sent a jolt of pain through him.

 

“If you’re quite finished now,” Lord Bentley began, several seconds later, “I would rather like to get a bit more sleep before sunrise. So, unless your nose would like to raise further complaint regarding the cleanliness of my estate?”

 

There was no correcting Lord Bentley, or Wilford would’ve been quite happy to tell him that it wasn’t dust that was causing his current state, but the small wafts of smoke leaking from his fireplace. Instead, he had to content himself with a quiet “Of course, your Lordship,” and begin work on this eight log again. Perhaps his sneezing had done some good after all. From the slight disturbance of his body lurching forward or the time it’d taken him to get through his fit, some of the wood had burned and crumbled, leaving just enough room for the final two logs.

 

Now, if only his nose wasn’t already starting to prickle again….

 

[Usagi]

Omg this was good, snobby uptight characters are so fun in stories like this. Love the holdbacks as well!

[TheCakeIsAlive]

I love it! Thank you so much. I enjoyed the spellings, and more so the scenario they were placed in. You’ve painted a very vivid picture but with quite a bit of room for interpretation. 

Thank you again! 😃

[queenie]

Ohh, Wilford must have a difficult time with all those allergy attacks every time he has to tend a fire! Good job! Very atmospheric, and I like him. 

[Reader]

Lovely, excellent details! I really enjoyed this! 

[groundcontrol]

Wow this was a very nice, atmospheric piece. If you were so inclined I'd love to see more from these characters in the future :)