Of Outlaws and Sneezes 2/? ((M, Mess, OC))

[SneezyHolmes]

Enjoy some self-indulgent, messy cowboy fic. Don't think this will have more than 2 or 3 chapters but it was good writing practice regardless! Based on a scenario/convo I had over on Tumblr.

Lee is a gunslinger/bounty hunter and Chester is the fortunate unfortunate bounty. Small WIP bio's on them can be found here.

 

y e e h a w !

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Put..put me down you jackass..”

“Yeah, not gonna happen there, pard’ner. You’re wanted in about five counties I reckon and that’s a lot of money coming my way. Not to mention your little stint back there in that bar. You should be thanking me for getting you out of there..”,the bounty hunter gruffly replied, tossing his drunken bounty onto the back of his horse with ease.

“Nnngh..I ain’t goin’ down without a.fight.”

“Whatever you say, pal..”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

That had been roughly two weeks ago and long before Lee had learned just how much of an annoying nuisance his money ticket would turn out to be. 

And more importantly, long before he’d been graced with the telltale signs of an impending cold. He shouldn’t have expected any less as he’d been riding for days at this point with little to no sleep in between and having got caught in a random downpour a few days back didn’t help matters either.

So it came as little surprise when the cold struck hard and fast, making his very bones tremble with fever and his nose run without end. He’d always been prone to bad sickness but never had it struck while he was working! And of course it just had to strike when he was far from a town and had quite possibly the most annoying bounty he’d ever wrangled sitting bitch on his horse..

“You look like shit.”, Chester crooned maliciously from where he sat tied firmly to an old but sturdy tree, features just barely illuminated by the crackling fire,”I think you should let me go. I can help you know.”.

Lee, handkerchief planted firmly under his nose as he rubbed the reddened appendage, glared back, in no mood for whatever he was rambling on about,”You think I’m some kinda id’jit? Second them ropes come off you’d get ballsy and take off and then I’d have to shoot ya and, well, you're worth more alive than dead to me.”.

Did this guy really think he was that dense? Besides, he didn’t need any help. It was just a cold, sniffles at best. Sweat out the fever and he’d be fit as a fiddle in no time. Still though, he couldn’t deny that it wouldn’t be nice to be holed up somewhere with a proper bed and covers. Even with a roaring fire he felt so damn chilled to the bone that sleep surely wouldn’t be coming tonight.

“Hehh..”,he started, corners of his nose pulling up just a bit with the half-hitch half-sniffle noise he was making, trying his damndest to keep the fit at bay. Chester was no doubt watching him again as he’d been all evening, a fox-like smirk etched on his face. Probably enjoying his misery if he had to guess.

“You g-gonna..hh..stare all nihhh--HH’HSSTCHOO! Ohh..Hehh’ASTCHH! Hh’ISTCHH!”

Each sneeze was wetter than the last, some of the spray managing to reach the fire, making it crackle and hiss softly in protest of being sneezed on. A low groan followed, Lee leaning back against his saddle pack and doing his best to wipe away the copious, twin rivers of glistening mess flowing down his lip. His sinuses ached, feeling as if someone had stuffed wool in either nostril yet his nose, for all it’s fullness, still ran like a raging river. 

Chester made a face at the messy releases, able to see the glistening mess even from across the fire. He wriggled a bit against his ropes, idly whittling away at the rope with a sharp stone he’d found by the tree’s base. Didn’t matter if he was let go or not, soon as Lee was out, he was gone. And maybe if he was lucky Lee would perish from fever and that’d be one less hunter after him. 

“And for your information, I wouldn’t stare if you didn’t have gunk all over your face.”,he teased, watching Lee closely for any sign that he was close to passing out,”Come on, just cut me loose and I promise I won’t run. You got a fever, friend. I seen many a strong man perish from them and frankly I’d hate to die tied to this tree if you up and kick the bucket!”.

Again the only reply was a tired though annoyed glare and quite possibly the thickest sniffle he’d ever heard. The guy really did sound like hell, a vast difference to the sparse sniffling that had started only three days prior. 

“Come on..help me help you. Please? I’m begging here..”,he feigned a pleading tone, still whittling at his ropes,”You need help getting that fever under control.”.

Lee made a hum of irritability, handkerchief hovering just under his nose, ready to catch the sneeze he could feel brewing deep within his inflamed sinuses,”It’s not thaahh..that bad. Had worse. Just need to sleeehhh..sleep it off..”. 

His tortured nose flared uneasily, thick blockages of sludge visible deep within either cavern that barely moved as he inhaled and exhaled shakily. It was the sort of congestion only moveable by forceful sneezing. The kind that, while blowing would help, your nose was too sore to want to even try it. A soft whine escaped his lips as the sneeze seemed to be stuck in limbo, making his nose itch painfully but not enough to actually bring about it’s snotty climax.

He wrapped the rapidly dampening cloth around his nose, closing off one nostril and attempting to blow as hard as he could only to wince when that proved just as painful as blowing both at the same time. Relenting to this fate, he released the other nostril and blew, the resulting sound bubbling and gurgling thickly as the warm mess flooded into the awaiting cloth. He cringed as it somewhat soaked through to his fingertips, the cloth clearly nearing the end of it’s road but it was the only one he had on him so it would have to hold out just a bit longer.

He sank further down against the saddle, resisting the urge to cough as the phlegm settled in his throat and lungs. Yes, sleep was all he needed. A good night’s rest and then they’d get back on the trail first thing tomorrow morning..

And just like that, he was out, his body finally having the chance to relax and succumb to the sleep it so direly needed though he did snore congestedly. 

Chester smirked to himself, watching closely to make sure Lee was entirely out before speeding up his getaway plan. Just had to cut through the rest of the rope annnnd..freedom! He yanked himself away from the tree, rubbing his rope burned wrists as he quietly crept past his captor.

He had the urge to end him right then and there but opted against it, grimacing at how pale and flushed Lee looked under the flickering firelight. He wasn’t a doctor by any means but he was sure colds weren’t supposed to be that bad. Whatever, it wasn’t his problem! This guy was gonna turn him in to be jailed for his crimes anyways. 

No sense in sparing him any further passing thought..

Edited May 26, 2020 by SneezyHolmes
Forgot to add number of completed chapters!

[SweaterWeather]

I love it so far!! Both boys sound like darlings and their banter makes me smile. But yeah, definitely sounds worse than just a little cold... poor Lee! 

[SneezyHolmes]

2 hours ago, Grey on a Sunday said:

I love it so far!! Both boys sound like darlings and their banter makes me smile. But yeah, definitely sounds worse than just a little cold... poor Lee! 

Thanks! Yeah, they end up pals when all is said and done, haha! But Lee is definitely sicker than he thinks!

[Agaba]

I love this! Hope you keep going ❤️

[SneezyHolmes]

6 hours ago, Agaba said:

I love this! Hope you keep going ❤️

Thank you! And no worries, I intend to!

[SleepingPhlox]

Holy... 🤤

Well I know what I'm going to be thinking about for the foreseeable future.

[SneezyHolmes]

6 minutes ago, SleepingPhlox said:

Holy... 🤤

Well I know what I'm going to be thinking about for the foreseeable future.

Haha, thanks! I'm all about gunslingers right now and I'm not even sorry! 😎😂

[RipleyToo]

Will there be more? I love these kind of cowboy western themes! I love both characters, mostly Lee of course! 

[SneezyHolmes]

14 minutes ago, Puzzle said:

Will there be more? I love these kind of cowboy western themes! I love both characters, mostly Lee of course! 

Yep! Part 2 is not quite halfway done as we speak! And I do too, something about how rugged they are just gets to me!

Edited May 21, 2020 by SneezyHolmes
spelling

[RipleyToo]

19 hours ago, SneezyHolmes said:

Yep! Part 2 is not quite halfway done as we speak! And I do too, something about how rugged they are just gets to me!

Can’t wait to see the next part then! 😁

[SneezyHolmes]

Here it is finally! It’s a bit heavy on dialogue and there isn’t much sneezing compared to fever whump so be warned, haha!

y e e h a w !

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Onwards he crept to the man’s steed,”Hey there girl..how’s ‘bout we get out of here, hm?”. He was almost touching the reins when the horse stepped away nervously, snorting and stomping. 

“Ah, c’mon ya dumb horse..shh!”,he urged the beast, scowling as the animal protested his attempts to mount, stamping the ground and nipping at him. Unbeknownst to him, all of the ruckus was causing Lee to stir fitfully, the hunter’s light sleeping nature working further against Chester’s desperate bid to flee his captor. 

Groggy eyes fluttered open, a slurred and nearly inaudible call to his horse going ignored both by the animal and Chester, who was still attempting to snatch the reins. Somehow, he managed to drag him to his elbow, squinting to blearily focus on the commotion a few feet away. Whatever it was, Sheila was not having it!

“Sheila..?”,he tried again, his sleep laden voice failing him though his sight did clear up enough to realize the reason for his trusted steed’s panic. Hadn’t he left him tied to a tree? He might’ve been running hotter than the devil’s balls but he was very sure he’d tied Chester to a tree earlier. 

With shaky legs, he staggered to his feet, swaying and making a face at how sickening the rapidly spinning earth around him was. Shakier hands reached for his pistol, cocking the hammer and finally earning Chester’s notice.

“Didn’t I tell you to..to stay put..”,he challenged as the bandit slowly turned around, hands raised slightly,”How’d you..? How’d you get free?”. Standing upright was hard enough as is but trying to form complete and coherent sentences at the same time? Forget about it!

Chester gave an awkward chuckle, just barely dodging another nip from Sheila,”Well now ya see..real funny story, and you’re gonna laugh I promise, but I cut myself free soooo I could go find help! I was just gonna borrow your horse and--”. He clammed up right quick as Lee’s gaze narrowed and his gun remained raised though with how much he was swaying, he didn’t trust him to get a clean shot. 

And if he was gonna get shot today then he’d rather it be quick and painless.

“Just..just put the gun down friend and we can talk about this, alright? Talk like civilized men..”,he reasoned, tentatively inching closer,”Besides, ya already said I’m worth more talkin’ than rottin’..”.

Lee made a noise somewhere between a scoff and an amused grunt, trigger hand shaking just enough to make it hard to keep aim. His whole body felt like fire, a bead of sweat breaking free from his temple and rolling rapidly down his jawline and to his neck, absorbed by the tattered bandanna he wore. A thick swallow, dots painting his vision, a useless sniffle..

“Yeah..maybe I did. I still get paid either way though and--and right now..I..”,he trailed off, taking a moment to catch his breath,”I could care less if you're dead or alive..”. Yeah maybe it would take a nice chunk out of his bounty but it was so damn tiring dealing with him even when he wasn’t feeling like death. Sweaty..uncomfortable..dizzying death.

Chester bit his lip, realizing that talking this guy down wasn’t gonna happen but perhaps he could take advantage of his weakened state? Again he crept closer, Lee seeming oblivious to this. his fever was no doubt the only thing keeping him from noticing. He didn’t seem to be noticing much of anything really, even with his gun pointed his gaze and aim both were woefully unfocused and seemed to waver intermittently. 

“Okay, okay..you win, I ain’t gonna get shot by a guy who can’t even see straight..”,he grumbled, taking one more subtle step,”Just put that down before either of us get hurt. You look like you’re about to keel over. Look, my ma was a kindly woman and I helped her tend the sick a few times. How about a deal? I help you live to see another sunrise and in return you let me go?”.

His offer seemed to fall on deaf ears as the hunter took a step of his own only to shudder and drop faster than a newborn foal. Well..at least that solved one problem but quickly presented another. He hadn’t been lying when he’d mentioned helping his ma, said woman instilling a moral compass in him that had not entirely dissolved over the years.

Leaving him to perish just felt unfair, not to mention he wasn’t keen to try mounting his horse again any time soon and walking through the desert was almost guaranteed to be a death sentence on it’s own. Yeah, he was gonna need this guy alive it would seem. 

“Great. Good talk.”,he muttered sarcastically, crouching down to yank Lee up by his arms and drag him back to his makeshift bed,”Jesus Christ you weigh a ton..”. He put his hands on his hips, staring down at the other man then looking back over to his horse who snorted as if reading his mind. 

Yep, definitely not escaping.

“Alright. You win, you win..I’ll look after him.”,he spat playfully at the animal.

The night passed slowly, Lee’s fever no longer fluctuating but also not showing any signs of lowering either. He’d thrash in his sleep, comforted only when his forehead was dabbed with a canteen-water soaked bandanna. It was a long and tiring night with Chester struggling to keep awake and the brief moments he did doze off were quickly ended by the thrashing or soft moans of discomfort Lee uttered.

It was near dawn when Lee’s glassy eyes finally opened, focusing on the sky overhead before his head lulled to the side to fix on Chester sprawled on his back, hat covering his face as he dozed. What had happened? He couldn’t really remember much of the night before. He recalled arguing over..something. But what? Yeah, he’d had his gun out then nothing. His mind was blank.

He tried to sit up, wincing as his entire body registered it’s disapproval of this action. His body ached, his throat felt like he’d swallowed sand and barbed wire, and his sinuses felt painfully full. Speaking of which..

“Hh..Hh’ESTCH’AH! Hh’ESTCHH! Ah, fuck..”,he grimaced, sinuses throbbing at the force of expelling the thick congestion currently flooding them. He dragged the back of his hand across the underside of his nose, making another face at the thick sludge streaked across his glove.

Where the hell was his handkerchief? He patted his pockets, finding the cloth and once more cradling his nose in it’s inviting folds, blowing loud enough to wake the dead. Or in this case, Chester, who stirred with a grunt,"Huh? I’m up! I’m up..”.

He sat up, hat falling to his lap and raven hair messy from sleeping on the ground. Upon seeing Lee awake he gave a tired smirk,”Well, well..look who’s finally snapped out of it. Kept me up all night ya know..”.

The grizzled gunslinger’s lip curled in both disbelief and as a warning he wasn’t eager to have that information held over him,”Mm? Can’t say I’m realy sorry about that. ‘Prolly deserved it if I’m bein’ honest!”. His words caught in his throat, making him cough wetly and harshly, struggling to sit up even as Chester moved to help him. The fit was long and no doubt rough to hear, only dying down when he felt a firm hand patting his upper back forcefully. It worked to say the least, a bit of phlegm clearing itself out.

He panted, rubbing his throat and allowing himself a small whimper that didn’t go as unnoticed as he was hoping for.

“Look, man..you’re in poor shape and staying out here isn’t gonna help none. We should try and get to the next town and find you a proper bed so can we just put aside our differences for the time being?”,he reasoned, knowing neither of them were gonna be going anywhere if he couldn’t get Lee back on his horse,”A short truce if you will?”. 

He held out his hand, making a surprised noise when Lee not only nodded but went so far as to shake his hand.

“Truce..”,he coughed,”Now help me get on Sheila..”.
 

[RipleyToo]

Omg omg omg!! I just LOVE this story!! I really hope there will be more! I’m in love with Lee! 😍😍

[SneezyHolmes]

10 minutes ago, Puzzle said:

Omg omg omg!! I just LOVE this story!! I really hope there will be more! I’m in love with Lee! 😍😍

Not sure if I'll be continuing this one or not but I do intend to write more involving these characters down the road!  I'm glad you're enjoying it though! I appreciate such nice comments!

[Writeyourlifeaway]

this is so good!! your writing is phenomenal:)

[SneezyHolmes]

4 hours ago, Writeyourlifeaway said:

this is so good!! your writing is phenomenal:)

Thank you! It means a lot to hear that!

[AceOfSpades]

Oohhh this is lovely!! Fantastic characterization, I love the banter!

[SneezyHolmes]

On 12/8/2023 at 6:01 PM, AceOfSpades said:

Oohhh this is lovely!! Fantastic characterization, I love the banter!

Thank you! 😊