Distinctly... 'something' ; Alex and Manon.

[Nebula]

A/N: I doubt anyone will remember but yeaaars ago one of the first fics I posted on here was called 'silent nights' and was set in a library. So take that but, like, make it sapphic. Because I still love libraries as a kinky setting and also women. And this is the result.

 

As soon as she stepped through the doors Alex felt very much out of place.

In the library, that is. Not that she didn’t read, of course she did, just that she tended to enjoy it more in the comfort of her own home rather than a public space characterised by clearly underfunded infrastructure and painfully artificial lighting.

She only found herself there because she had documents to print off for moving into her new flat close by (God, she really should’ve had these sorted out a lot earlier. Preferably before she moved in, actually) and what mid-twenties millennial actually has a printer in their house instead of just covertly nipping out to make use of the office facilities like a thief in the night every time they need to actually print something out.

Just being in that sort of space again catapulted her mind back to her uni days, a certain blend of paper and stale vending machine coffee that made her feel, even in the present-day, like she should have a hangover from a girls’ rugby social the night before and a flutter of sense-memory anxiety about a deadline she was just going to make and no more.

The day was dull, drizzly, and characteristic of late-November, and the place suitably empty save for a few either studious types, elderly scholars, or slightly lost, downtrodden-looking souls.

Actually, it was a little bit surprising it wasn’t busier. Surely as the only place in the nearby vicinity that didn’t require you to buy anything to take shelter from the elements would people not save the couple of pounds they would’ve spent at Caffe Nero over the road and just wait it out in here?

But yeah. She was on a mission to get in and out and not really hang around, maybe even pop over to the aforementioned coffee shop afterwards to chill out for a bit before she had to dash across town for that date she had with Megan. The Megan that was the daughter of her mum’s friend, who she’d briefly met at a family birthday party a couple of weeks ago and had been kind of embarrassingly talked up by her mum. So she can only assume it was a joint venture between her and Susan to set them up. Don’t get her wrong, Megan was really very pretty and Alex is nothing if not open-minded, but she was clearly only being pushed in her direction because they both just so happened to be lesbians and so their mums assumed (as only nosey, affectionately over-involved heterosexuals can) that they’d automatically be a “great match”.

Stop taking the piss, she had to remind herself. She’s your mum, it was a kind gesture at its heart and she knew that, and she was excited in a very general sense to see where it could go.

Alex strode with purpose past the reception desk, not sparing it even a passing glance, and across to the little nook with the computer desks.

 

It was when she was clicking away at the computer, engrossed in the task at hand of trying to remember how to effectively navigate Windows 7, when she heard… it. A couple of short, mainly throat-clearing but clearly congested coughs, coming from… somewhere near the front of the room?

Despite her interest, Alex decided to let the curiosity come and go. A couple of minutes later however, documents having been sent to the printer and all, it happened again. Stronger this time, like they’d actually let themself properly cough like they’d been needing to, and followed by a sickly sniffle that said loud and clear to anyone that heard it that ‘this person should probably be in bed’.

Interest piqued, Alex’s glanced upward in what she belatedly hoped was a somewhat inconspicuous way. She scanned the room before quickly falling upon her. The girl situated at the front desk, immediately telling on herself with the fistful of scrunched up tissues held to her mouth. Her eyes were trained downwards on the fluorescent glow of the computer screen in front of her, and she looked especially pallid in its glare.

Objectively she may just have been one of the most attractive and interesting looking people Alex’s ever seen. Seriously - since when did public libraries start employing people like that? All her features a blend of somewhat striking, unconventional beauty offset by the softest brown hair that fell down in waves past her chin, that Alex had the strangest inkling of desire to just run her fingers through. She'd scarcely have noticed she was wearing make-up it was so minimal, only it was evident where the foundation had been rubbed off around the rims of her nose to reveal bare skin which bore an irritated, shiny dark pink hue, which matched the corners of watery, tired-looking eyes behind round wire-rimmed glasses.

Unbearably adorable. Apart from that though, there was also an air of… something about her. Maybe it was the way she was hunched over, with her eyebrows pinched in vague discomfort, on her own at the desk and seemingly the only one on staff that made her seem sad. Like there was a little invisible rain cloud sitting over her head.

Alex felt a warmth rush to her face, and a jolt in the stomach. It was one of those instances where you see someone and you’re just inadvertently stricken with fantastical, but ultimately ridiculous images of the nice little domestic life you’d have in some alternate universe, despite knowing nothing about them apart from the fact that they’re a hot stranger. 

So she stumbled through what she needed to do with the computer and wandered over to the printer in a bit of a daze, only now acutely attuned to the sound of the poor girl’s misery now that she’d finally noticed it.

Should she do something to jam the machine? Or just briefly mess with the buttons a bit so she would have to come over and help her out? No, that’s really stupid. She shouldn’t do that. Has she ever done anything that dumb to get a girl’s attention?

In the end Alex let the pages print undisturbed. As she collected them from the tray, inwardly restraining herself from glancing upwards at what could be considered ‘too often’, out of nowhere a harsh but tissue-muffled sneeze cuts through the oppressive, mundane silence the space had been cloaked in, sounding as miserable and damp as the weather outside. 

Fuck. 

Alex swallowed hard, feeling very gay in a way that in that moment she decides she cannot ignore or simply do nothing about, and that she vaguely realised usually proceeds moments of ridiculous gay boldness she’s sometimes prone to. 

And like a heavenly light shining down from above, the Lord blessed her with an actually useful thought. 

That book her sister recommended to her, like, over two months ago now that she had raved about and Alex had promised to check out, but never actually bothered to. She should… really get on that. She had promised, after all.

Alex made her way over to the section she knew the book should probably be in and scanned them quickly. Lo and behold, she found it exactly where it should be, in correct alphabetical order. In an instance of aforementioned ‘ridiculous gay boldness’, she cast one more cautious glance over her shoulder, and when it was clear she wasn’t being watched, took the book out of its place and jumped up onto her tip-toes, filing it in some random position between two books on the very top shelf.

 

Nervous excitement bubbled in her stomach as she approached the desk, at which the girl was still perched, tissues in one hand and an open, worn-looking paperback in the other.

She held the book in her lap and was looking down at it, so didn’t seem to register Alex’s presence as she approached. Alex paused for a second, but in ultimate impatience she reached out and playfully dinged the little bell on the desk, making the girl jump a little and blink up at her.

“Sorry!” Alex said through a chuckle “Didn’t mean to startle you”.

The girl managed a brief huff of laughter, seemingly at herself, and turned the book over onto the desk-top.

“No, no, I’m sorry I didn’t even see you there. Were you standing there long?” she questioned through a snuffle, voice hoarse and full of blunt, rounded consonants, lilted with an accent Alex would place as European of some sort. Shifting her head upwards to meet Alex’s eyes must make her nose drip, as she brought the tissues to delicately dab at the damp corner of her nostrils.

Oh, the poor thing looks full of cold.

“Literally just a couple of seconds, don’t worry about it!”

“I was just… in my own little world. Day-dreaming. There isn’t much else to do around here when it’s like this”.

“Yeah, of course…” Alex glanced around the desolate space as if in silent agreement, then pointed at the discarded book. “Reading anything good at least?”

The girl seemed to brighten at the question, and she sat up a little straighter in her chair. The shift made Alex immediately want to ask her more, just to see it happen again.

“I felt like poetry today. Bit of Walt Whitman…” she said, picking the book back up and turning it over to show Alex the cover, ‘Leaves of Grass’. Seemingly emboldened by the engagement, she continues, “...the day is very melancholic, yes? It feels introspective. So…” she trails off, gesturing with the book before putting it down again with a small cough, as if just to remind her of her condition in case she’d managed to forget for half a second, directed away into the crook of her elbow. “So grey and rainy it feels like Paris”

Alex felt herself begin to smile a little and subconsciously leant her arms on the desk, positioning herself a little bit closer than she had been before. 

French, then. Weirdly, it made sense as soon as she said it. If anyone can possibly ‘look’ like a nationality, this girl looks French.

The librarian seems to catch herself however, rather inconveniently remembering that she does technically have a job to do, and Alex’s remiss to see it.

“Anyway, how can I help?”

Resigned to the reason excuse she had crafted for herself for even approaching the other girl, Alex explained about the book she was looking for. The other girl nodded and turned to look it up in the computerised archive first, before quickly turning back with a nod and a confirmation that they did in fact have it in stock. 

Quelle surprise. 

The glow from the computer screen appeared to trip her sensitive-looking sinuses however, as her eyes filled with moisture and her cherry-red nostrils twitched to life.

“It should be on that shelf j-just… ov’hhh...sorry-” she managed to stutter out, as her expression descended into one of familiar irritation. She was just able to duck into her elbow again as- 

“-hH’DXGST’ch”. 

She doesn’t rise again immediately however, as the flushed haziness in her features gave away the anticipation of a second, though it kept her hanging on the precipice for a good couple of looks like she feels awful enough and doesn’t want to make her feel worse or self-conscious by seconds.

Alex wasn’t sure where to look, no matter how much she knew where she wanted to.

The librarian’s gaze, in what looked like cold-ridden desperation, blinked up toward the light overhead. It was almost a little bit indulgent the way her nostrils flared, all shiny and red-rimmed, and her mouth slowly dropped open again before being buried again in her arm.

“heh’EHXST’ch”

An involuntary grimace, and a pitiful snuffle as she straightened. Alex isn’t sure whether she wants to tuck her up in bed or take her to bed but ‘a complicated mix of both’ is probably closest to the mark. She winced in sympathy.

“Oh, bless you!”

The librarian regarded the blessing with a distracted, offhand ‘thadk-you…’ as she dabbed carefully at the corner of her eye with her thumb, looking apologetic as she did so.

“Sorry, I-”

Instinctively, Alex’s arm twitched to reach across the desk and put a comforting hand on her arm, but she stamped down the urge. “No! Don’t. You’re okay - don’t even worry about it”

She sighed, slumping down in her chair a bit more, resigned. “It’s just… been like that all day, you know? Since I woke up. Constant…” she griped, sniffling heavily, with finality, did that head shaking thing again before rising up out of her chair. As if she was scared to let herself wallow just a bit too much incase she ceased functioning altogether. “It’ll probably be easier if I just get the book myself”.

At that point Alex felt guilty and definitely like a bad person for making her get up, but before she could insist against it the librarian was already out from behind the desk and making her way across the room. In the moment Alex felt powerless to do anything else but fall into line with her a couple of paces behind.

The guilt only increased when they reached what she herself knows to be the correct stand, and Alex realised only after seeing this girl out from behind the desk and standing up that she couldn’t be any taller than 5ft at the very most and Alex had thrown that damn book onto the top shelf. 

She averted her gaze so pointedly from where she knew the book to be that in her mind it must have come across suspicious.

“It should be here…” The librarian muttered, mostly to herself, eyebrows furrowed as she scanned the middle shelf and eventually pointed to a specific spot. The place where it should be. The place where Alex had found it. She stepped a little closer and leaned in, squinting damply from behind her glasses as she reached out and ran her fingers along the spines of each book. As if taking account of each individual one, just to be sure it wasn’t what she was looking for.

Alex’s eyes followed the movement, unable to help but silently recall images of those same hands, elegant but sturdy-looking, clutching used tissues like a lifeline not just a few minutes ago and for some reason it made her breath catch a little in her chest.

After having checked all the shelves in her eyeline or below, the librarian t’sked with displeasure.

“Someone’s obviously put it back in the wrong place” she said disapprovingly.

“That ‘someone’ not being you, then?” Alex joked in return before she could catch herself. She had a habit of that, instinctively blurting out the first sarcastic thing that came to her head in any one moment in an attempt to lift the mood, not realising how it could sound if taken the wrong way or misunderstood.

The librarian’s face shifted from annoyance to deadpan exasperation. “Well no, because I know it’s meant to be there, and so I would’ve put it there myself if I had’ve been the one to do it, no?” she shot back, though her eyes shone with playful mirth.

She felt a wave of relief at the reaction, and the girl’s expression made Alex want to smile too. 

“Look, it doesn’t really matter, I can come back for it another time” she tried to argue, as the librarian untucked a tissue from her jumper sleeve and paused to dab gingerly at her leaking nose with a heavy, liquidy snuffle. “If you don’t mind me saying, you sound like you should be in bed, never mind traipsing around after me in here”.

As if spurred on by the statement the librarian pocketed the tissue again quickly and straightened up, an essence of determination now in her eyes that Alex immediately subconsciously knew left no room for dissuasion. “No, no… hold on…” she called over her shoulder as she moved towards the end of the aisle and grabbed a rogue step-ladder from where it had been previously discarded. Even stood on the top step though she had to stand on her tip-toes in order to peer onto the highest shelf.

In the process of rooting around however, Alex could see in the glow of the overhead light just how much dust she was stirring up just by moving things around. That pesky top shelf mustn't get dusted off very often; little clouds of irritant particles visibly fluttered and danced down through the air, and so it only seemed like a matter time before…

“Mberde…”

Yep. With her nose already being so raw and sensitive from the evidently god-awful head cold, the dust just seemed to add fuel to the fire. Her eyes, already sufficiently puffy as they were, watered immediately, taking no time at all to overspill. She squeezed them shut and brought a fist to her nose, achingly blocked but equally annoyingly drippy as it was, and scrubbed furiously against the back of her hand with a cold-ridden squelch.

She briefly managed to prise her eyes open long enough to land on the book in question, and her other, unengaged hand hurriedly closed around it just as the itchy looking irritation seemed to reach a precipice.

She gasped, and more or less threw the book where she hoped was somewhere in the direction of Alex’s hands, before firing both hands up to cup the bottom of her face in jerky panic. Into which, the librarian was thrown forward into two wet, miserably scraping cold sneezes.

“hhH’EIDSSSCH’huh….heh’EHTSSSCH’chew...ihh’H-?”

Make that… three…?

“het’CHSShshh!”

Alex watched from below, mesmerised into silence and her heart leapt into life inside her chest. God, was she blushing? No, that’s a silly question even to ask herself; she was sure she was blushing. 

Hands still clamped to her face, the librarian gives an affected, humourless laugh, her own face flushed, though likely for very different reasons. “Umb, sorry…” she said awkwardly, “You got the book?”

She seemed to ask it in a hurry, and Alex nodded and meant to answer verbally, maybe even provide some reassurance, but her brain was still lagging and she couldn’t quite get it out before the other girl hastily began stepping down from the ladder. As if on autopilot however, Alex reached out and caught her elbow to steady her.

“Excuse mbe, I’ll just, ahem, yeah… two seconds…”

Alex’s eyes followed her as she exited, and in that moment it struck her that for what little she’d seen of her, she didn’t seem like the type of girl who was used to appearing flustered or vulnerable in front of other people, or strangers at the very least. Not that she seemed overly embarrassed or anything, it just made Alex wonder what it would’ve been like meeting her for the first time in a normal, healthy state. If it would be quite the same.

 

When the librarian returned from the direction of the bathrooms, slightly red-faced and vaguely damp-looking but cleaned up and in a much better spot than she was before, Alex was waiting for her by the reception desk. She leaned against it in what she aimed for being nonchalance casualness, a steaming cup of vending machine tea clutched in hand. As the other girl took her seat Alex offered it across.

“Sorry it’s only from the vending machine, which I’m assuming to be of questionable quality, but you seem to have already gotten out of it today, so I reckoned it can’t have be that bad” Alex joked, pointing to the empty cardboard coffee cups scattered across the desk bearing the same distinctive logo.  “Would’ve ran across the road for something decent, only I didn’t want you thinking I’d done a runner or anything. After you went to all that trouble...”

The librarian accepted the cup with an unreadable expression, though Alex would bet her life it was the hint of a sheepish smile, took a cautionary sip, then proceeded to check out the book for her.

“I’mb sorry again, sdnffl about… all that” the librarian said, “...that was actually disgusting and even I can admit that”

Alex was about to cut in, and answer the call of her instincts to reassure the other woman that she was more than okay, that she clearly couldn’t help it, only the librarian unknowingly cut her off by continuing. She sounded distinctly more… tired.

“I’mb just… ndot feeling well, y’kdow?”

Alex had the distinct urge to rub her shoulder. Or just offer physical comfort in some way because that’s what she knew how to do.

But that’s definitely weird to do to a stranger, so she swallowed it back.

Alex couldn’t help but recall the other girl’s supposed melancholy earlier, and before she can consider what she’s saying and acting on a wild hunch, she’d blurted out,

“How long have you been here, then? In the UK”.

She appeared briefly surprised at the question, her hands paused their movement on the keyboard. She seemed to consider it for a second more before answering.

“Not long. Just over a mbonth and a half, maybe?”

Alex frowned, feeling a strange sense of protective instinct rise from within her. “Do you have any friends here or anything? People that would help you out, I mean, in times like this”

The librarian immediately appeared to dismiss the idea, shaking her head as she resumed checking out the book.

“I mboved here for myself, ndot anyone else. That was my choice. If I am lonely, I’m a big girl, and am fine to… deal on my own?”

The answer made Alex feel distinctly sad for having heard it. It sounded somewhat emotionally distant, like it was a line or a mantra she’d taught herself. A pregnant silence fell between them, with only the clack of the keyboard and the rain pelting against the windows filling the auditory space.

“What’s your name, by the way?” Alex asked softly.

The librarian looked momentarily stumped at the rather abrupt question, as if Alex had just asked something convoluted like ‘how far in kilometres is it from here to Mars, would you say?’. But now that Alex had given into her curiosity and the ball was rolling as far as this beautiful, funny, interesting human being was concerned, she was unable or simply unwilling to stop it.

But just as she would’ve expected, the librarian pointedly met her eye.

“Manon” she said simply, and set the book, now fully checked out, on the counter by Alex’s arm.

Alex smirked.

“Sorry, ‘Banon’?”

Whatever it was, it seemed to break whatever heavy ‘mood’ they were briefly swallowed by for a couple of seconds. Manon rolled her eyes, though you could see the reluctant amusement in her eyes.

“M-A-N-O-N”

“Ahhhh, I see now. Sorry” Alex laughed, as she felt the name around in her mind. Manon. As much as she would joke and make levity out of a situation, each little small nugget of information she learned about the girl only made her want to follow the thread and find out more. Like a trail of breadcrumbs, or a carrot dangling on a stick. She was bluntly forthcoming when prompted, but had this strange, fashionable air of mystery. Like she had a story to tell.

“But…”

Alex raised an eyebrow at the questioning tone.

“If I did want to make more friends here, in the area, where would you suggest I-I do thh- that?-”

Oh, poor thing. She just managed to swivel away, and raise her forearm in time to catch the sneeze as it shivered out of her.

“Hh’idsssctsh’uh!”

She groaned a little, looking very afflicted and very much fed up of it all as she plucked another tissue out of the box to dab mop herself up with.

“Whed I ab dode with ‘this’, obviously” Manon complained, motioning generally towards her face.

Alex winced in sympathy at the harsh-sounding sneeze and the damage it appeared to do to Manon’s voice, having buried her initial arousal at the sound. More than anything she just wanted to help her, in some way, shape or form.

“You like literature, right?” Alex guessed, gesturing towards ‘Leaves of Grass’, still discarded face down on the desk from earlier. Manon nodded.

“A couple of my friends are part of this writers group in town that they’re always talking about; seems like fun if you’re into that sort of stuff. They coach each other, share their work, talk about books, do showcases, all of that. If you wanted to give it a go I could put a word in for you? Tell them to look out for you?”

The more Alex described it, the more Manon appeared into the idea.

“There is one condition though…” Alex tacked on, tone dripping in faux-seriousness.

“Oh?”

“You may just have to follow me on instagram. To, y’know, co-ordinate the arrangements, and so forth…”

Manon then appeared to twig on, as her expression shifted from confusion to exaggerated consideration, bringing her fingers to her chin.

“Really? I mbean, I’b ndot sure about these termbs, if I am hodest; my feed -  it is rather full at the moment, and very exclusive…”

Alex gasped in ‘outrage’, as Manon scavenged around the desk for a pen and piece of scrap paper then handed them over to her.

“If you submit me your userndame you should have a decisiod in around five to six business days”

Alex t’sked and shook her head as she wrote, before both women fell into giggles at near enough the exact same time.

Goddamn it, even her laugh was adorable.

“No matter what happens though you’ve got friend number one right here”

Manon smiled, and it was genuine, but there was an aura of something lurking behind it, quelling it’s full force.

“Thadk-you. I really appreciate it”.

Alex finished up writing and handed the paper over, which Manon then took and slipped into her pocket. 

“Are you doing adything interesting todight?” Manon questioned lightly, seeming looser and less tense than she had at any point before. “Apart frob reading your book of course”

Alex’s about to answer, only the truth suddenly stuck in her throat and refused to budge.

“Just drinks with a mate later, nothing exciting” she managed out, heart jumping to life for having just blatantly and so bold-facedly lied.

Manon nodded in approval and her expression, Alex could almost swear, held some sort of knowingness in the face of what just happened.

“Cool. Have fun”

She probably still would, to be honest. Megan’s a lovely girl, so she’d heard.

But given what had just transpired, and with the image on Manon promising to linger in her mind's eye, Alex was fairly certain she’d enjoy it a significant amount less.

Edited August 1, 2020 by Nebula

[nothin2sneeze@]

Wow this was great! That Alex is a clever one.. Hope to see how this all unfolds!

[Gingersneeze]

Great story. Love this one. Please continue 

[Neogiomach]

I really like this! If you have more on your mind I’d love to read the next chapter. 

[kushamizuki]

I would definitely be up for seeing this continue

[HowFitting]

This is AMAZING!! I love your writing style, would love to see this story continue! 

[a_nonny_mouse]

Oh this is very good and vividly & engagingly written, I'm looking forward to whatever happens next. 

[doglover111]

So far I absolutely love this. I can’t wait to see what happens on her date.

[NickG1998]

Definitely please continue this amazing story and keep up the great work