My First Drabble Thread - The Photographer

[dragonko]

Okay guys, I've never written drabbles before, so I apologize if these are a bit more lengthy than normal, I'm trying my best to keep them short and not overly complicated. The basic premise behind all of these is that they follow Zoe, a professional photographer with a sneeze fetish, as she photographs various events and experiencing some of the most fantastical sneezing scenarios involving some of her biggest celebrity crushes.

CW: Depending on the individual story, there may be mention of things such as nudity, male anatomy, and sexual interest. However, no stories are explicitly sexual in nature, so I feel like they're appropriate here with an 18+ disclaimer.

 

1. Bryce Harper - Sports Illustrated Body Edition Shoot - Cold

 

“Alright Bryce, we’re gonna get you into makeu-“ Zoe stopped midsentence when she got a look at him. He looked awful. “Um, you okay?”

 

“Yeah *sniff* I’b fi-fi Hetchshoo, Ha-etchshoo *sniff* … uggghh, sorry, yeah, I’b fide. Just a slight cold,” he said through desperate, wet, adorable sneezes. Okay, that adorable was added in Zoe’s head, but she really couldn’t help but fall in love.

 

“Oh, okay, well then we’re going to do makeup and then I’m gonna need to you strip down and come onto set.”

 

“Uh, haha, usually I habe to buy a girl a drink first,” he grinned and chuckled before breaking out into a fit of coughing. “Sorry, thad was cordy *snifffff* … sorry, corny.” Zoe rolled her eyes before turning away, but not before noticing his nose start twitching again … *sniff* … then nothing. She sighed and went to get lighting ready.

 

The first few shots and poses went really well, Bryce was still sniffling, but he seemed to find energy that he hadn’t had. What Zoe hadn’t anticipated was that some of her poses wouldn’t work, she had done nude photoshoots before and knew what she was doing, but every man is hung a bit different and Bryce is … well … he’s well endowed and his penis has a lot more of a forward hang so it took a bit more positioning to conceal, especially on the more sideways or forward-facing poses. Luckily, he was a good sport about it … “what man wouldn’t be with being told he’s too big for certain poses,” Zoe thought to herself … even when she had to grab him a bit to get everything concealed.

 

It was during one of these poses that they ran into some complications. Each pose would be photographed a few hundred times in the pursuit of the perfect shot for the magazine. Zoe was about halfway through this particular pose when she saw Bryce’s nostrils begin to flair and breath slightly hitch …

 

Etchshoo

 

Zoe had to stop and check her shot, she caught Bryce 3 times in 3 different stages of sneeze. “Jackpot,” she thought to herself. “It’s okay, this is why we take so many, you good?”

 

He shot her a winning smile as if to signify he was ready.

 

Hetchshoo

 

That came only a few photos later. Again, memorialized by a few more of Zoe’s shots.

 

Hetchshoo, etchshoo, etchsh, chsh, ATCHOO

 

It was all Zoe could do to not fall apart right then and there, but she composed herself as best she could, “uh, well, I think we’re good here for the day. I’ve got a lot to work with and you look like you’re dying for some rest.”

 

“Ub, thangs, but you sure?” He asked, probably more out of politeness than the desire to stay. “Yeah, yeah it’s totally fine, we’ve got this.”

 

Zoe walked Bryce walk away to go change and head out and then went right to her computer to start scrubbing through photos. No one but her knew that that first sneeze had shaken his pose just a bit so that various amounts of his penis were actually visible throughout the rest of that pose’s shoot, causing her to smile a bit to herself. “Yep, this will all work,” she thought before packing up with a smile on her face, “now to go home and enjoy the video I had rolling.”

 

 

2. Chris Hemsworth - Red Carpet at the Oscars - Allergy

 

Zoe had ALWAYS wanted a chance to photograph the Oscars, she had worked as hard as she could to get onto that shortlist of red carpet photographers, and this year it was finally happening. She had just landed in Los Angeles and was making her way toward the one and only Dolby Theater. It was still hours until the shoot, but she couldn’t wait!

 

…

 

Zoe was almost overwhelmed a bit by all of the high-profile celebrities coming down the carpet and appearing in her lens. Matt Damon, Black Lively and Ryan Reynolds, Jack Black, Emma Watson … one by one they came through allowing her to get photos of them. She was wrapped up in it all, barely even time to notice who was actually in front of her with each shutter click. That’s when her ears perked up a bit.

 

ERRSHOO … She turned toward where the sound had come from, but couldn’t quite figure it out … ERRSHOO … This time it was a bit closer, she had to be getting close to seeing it … ERRSHOO … That one she saw, she caught it just in time, and her heart nearly dropped to the floor. ERRRSHOO … Chris Hemsworth bent forward with yet another, possibly even stronger this time, sneeze … ERRSHIEW … man, he really didn’t seem to be able to stop.

 

Zoe tried to keep her focus as Chris was still a few celebs behind in the list, but three more sneezes from his direction made it nearly impossible as she tried to get worthwhile photos of each perfectly dressed person passing her. Then he was in front of her and she began taking photos. ERRSHOO, ERRSHOO … He was still sneezing as she took photo after photo … ERRSHOO … She felt bad for him at this point. “You okay Mr. Hemsworth?” she shouted out to him a bit. He picked up his head and smiled a bit, “yeah, uh, sorry ab-abo … ERRSHOO” he doubled over yet again, “ugh, sorry about that. It turns out I grabbed the wrong … ERRSHOO … corsage on my way out and I’m so allergic to these chrysan- ERRSHOO, ERRSHOO – ugh, chrysanthemum, heh, can’t even say it without sneezing,” he joked, “but I’m all good, I’ll be ditching …” he froze again, face twisting, breath hopelessly hitching “… he-heh heh uh-eh ERRRRISHHUH … whew, god I hope that’s all. I can’t wait to ditch this as soon as I’m inside.”

 

With that, Chris turned away to continue down the red carpet. Zoe turned around to breathe a few times before returning to photographing the rest of the night’s stunning stars. She could still hear Chris sneezing as he worked his way toward the end of the red carpet, but after her chat with him she didn’t even care that she was missing them.

 

 

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Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this first installation. I have a few more celebs lined up that I'm going to be writing about. Mostly athletes so far, but if people enjoy these I'm certainly willing to expand the list. Cheers!

 

[bcj1027]

Oh wow!! yes please continue!! These are great and what an original idea!

[dragonko]

       3. Baker Mayfield, Sideline of Game, Allergy

 

 

Zoe had always loved sports. Watching them, playing them, talking about them, and especially taking photos of them. As her photography career had grown, she became more and more inclined to take contracts for sporting events. Today was going to be one of her favorites, though. She had grown up in Cleveland, and as much as she enjoyed not living there anymore, she would always don a Browns or Indians jersey when it was gameday … But, this time, she got a contract to be a sideline photographer to grab candid press shots of the Browns players.

 

By the time the 3^rd quarter had rolled around, spirits seemed to be down as the Browns were down 7-31 to the visiting Cardinals. It was certainly making her job tougher because nobody is going to want PR shots of players looking dejected and miserable, but she was trying to capture what she could.

 

‘hktCHuh’

 

Zoe froze … could that … could that have actually been a sneeze? The sound had come from somewhere to her left. She looked over and the only players right in her vicinity there were Odell Beckham Jr. and Baker Mayfield. She noticed that Baker’s nostrils were twitching a bit and seemed pinkish, so she decided to focus her attention toward him.

 

It didn’t take long before she saw his face fall slack and eyes gain an intense focus followed by the tell-tale change in breathing that only the itch of an impending sneeze could cause. Baker pawed at his nose a few times, but it didn’t seem to stop the itch from building until, finally … ‘hktch … ktchuh … hektCHOO’ … he stifled two between his fingers before a third was slightly too strong for him to fully contain.

 

“Damn Bake, you’ve been like this all day, what’s up with you?” she overheard OBJ asking him as Baker stood there sniffing intensely and seemingly trying to fight off a lingering itch.

 

“Ugh, I forgot to take my allergy meds this morning and it seems like they j-just *sniff* mowed the grass th- heh – this m-morn… ‘ktCHuh’ ‘ktch’ ‘hektCH’ … *sniff* *sniff* … ugh, mowed this morning,” he said through a few more sneezes, “thank god this is almost over, though.”

 

At this point the defense was just wrapping up a drive and Baker and OBJ had to go running off toward the field, but Zoe could still see Baker’s head bob another time or two as he went out onto the field. She was still upset that the game was going so poorly, but she was willing to forgive Baker for his performance on the field after his performance off the field.

 

 

 

      4. Mike Trout, Gym Promo, Allergy

 

Today Zoe’s client was a new up-and-coming celebrity gym in the San Fernando Valley and they had brought in a pair of high-profile athletes to pose for their promotional material: professional soccer player Julie Ertz and LA Angels player Mike Trout. Personally, Zoe had hoped to be paired up with Julie as she had always considered her to be a hero, but that shoot had gone to the other photographer hired by the gym; so Zoe was sent over to work with Mike.

 

Zoe realized right away, though, that Mike was going to be one of the nicest guys she had ever worked with. He was polite, listened well, and pretty much laughed and smiled his way through everything … a photographer’s dream!

 

“Okay Mike, so we’re going to do something a little different for this next shot,” she said to him. All the previous shots had been Mike using various pieces of equipment or free weights, but this time she wanted to get the iconic ‘throwing talc powder into the air’ shot. “How this is going to work is that I want you to grab a medium-sized handful of that powder and toss it into the air while spreading your arms out to your sides and looking up, think you can do that?”

 

“Yeah, sure, I should be able to do that,” Mike said back, although not sounding as confident as he had in other poses. Zoe wasn’t sure where this lack of confidence came from, he seemed like he was basically good at EVERYTHING. “Okay, I’m going to count down from three and then we’re a go … one … two … three.”

 

Mike did what he was told and Zoe captured 3 or 4 stellar photos, “that’s great! We may have to try it one more time just in case, but I think we’ve got something usable here!” She didn’t get a response and looked up to see why … Mike was standing there, panting, looking up at the ceiling, nostrils inflated to what had to have been maximum circumference, and eyes watering … She realized now why Mike must have been so hesitant to do this shot.

 

‘ACHOO .. ACHOO … ACHOO … CHOO . CHOO … AH-ACHOO .. HAH-ITCHOO’ Mike broke out into a massively intense fit of loud, masculine, sneezes. Zoe tried to begin apologizing but had to stop because Mike’s nose was the only thing getting his attention. ‘*sniff* ACHOO … ACHOO *sniff* *sniff* ACHOO *sniff* ACHOO … CHOO’ At this point it seemed every time he sneezed he had to sniff, but every time he sniffed it pushed more powder into his nose triggering more sneezes. So she got her team to help Mike back to a shower where he could wash it all off and change into clean clothes.

 

About twenty minutes later he returned out to set, “gosh I am so so sorry about that, I hope I didn’t … ACHOO … *sniff* didn’t ruin your shoot.” Zoe just looked at him incredulously as he stood there apologizing for sneezing, “no, no, don’t apologize, I should be the one apologizing to you for putting you through that. I had no idea you’d be allergic to talk powder.”

 

Mike chuckled, “heh, I guess I should have said something, but I honestly didn’t think it’d be like that. I … hold on,” he said as he turned around ‘ACHOO … ACHOO’ *sniff*, “I figured I may just sneeze once or twice after and we’d be good to go again. Heh, guess I was wrong.” He then flashed a winning smile, “so, what’s next?”

 

“Well, that was actually the last shot of the day, so I think we’re good to go. I’ll be in contact again when we have narrowed down the best shots and I’ll work with you and the owner to see which ones are best for your and the gym’s image,” Zoe responded, as badly as she wanted to keep going and working with this man, it had been a long day already and she wasn’t going to be able to focus anyway.

[dragonko]

5. TJ Watt & JJ Watt (+ DJ Watt), Dior Ad, Allergy

 

“Hey bro,” JJ exclaimed loudly as he walked into the room, “I didn’t know we were gonna be doing this together.” A huge smile spread across his face; he never liked doing these ad shoots, but they were at least a bit more fun when they got to do it together.

 

TJ chuckled, “well, your agent called mine to see if I’d be in since he knows you don’t like doing these on your own,” ribbing his brother a bit, “and look, DJ’s here for moral support,” he finished giving a slight nod over to their third brother hanging out with the crew. “My agent didn’t tell me what exactly the gig is, though, do you have any idea who we’re making an ad for?” TJ continued on, clearly having been left in the dark.

 

“Dior,” came a voice from across the room, a young woman carrying a camera and looking over a table of products. “We’re going to be making a few ads for some shirts, some underwear, a couple of watches, and a few cologne scents. They’re all going to be photo ads, so it’ll be a lot of posing Come on over and check out the items if you’d like, may as well familiarize yourselves with them a bit.”

 

JJ and TJ started picking up shirts, joking with each other some about who was gonna have to wear what, arguing over who would get to wear the one watch and over who was going to get stuck wearing the skimpy white briefs. Zoe could feel a light flutter at that last one, these two men were both gorgeous guys, seeing either one in skimpy briefs would be easy eye candy. JJ picked up one of the cologne bottles, the Sauvage Elixir, gave it a quizzical look, before popping the cap off “hey Teej,” he said, prompting TJ to turn in his direction. JJ gave the top of the bottle a few pumps in TJ’s direction, “let me know hos this smells?”

 

TJ was momentarily stunned, not expecting to take 4 full pumps of cologne to the face, “Jesus bro, watch it, you’re gonna get it in my eyes and mouth and shit,” he wafted the air in front of his face and took a few sniffs of the air, “it does smell good, though.”

 

JJ leaned over and took a few sniffs of his own, “bleh, that’s all you bro, don’t think I could get used to that one.” JJ’s face twisted a bit as he stepped back, and he sniffed slightly, just enough for Zoe to notice.

 

“Ok boys, well let’s get you each into one of these shirts for the first shoot,” Zoe started talking to them, “these photos will only be the torso and up so you can keep your current pants on.” Both of the men ripped off their shirts and grabbed ones off the table as instructed. As they were changing, Zoe could swear she hear them both sniffing, and … was that a hitch? No, she must have been imagining it, “ok, now step on over here and just stand facing the camera, I’ll come position you for your poses.”

 

“huh- huafthCHSth, CHSthcH” JJ snapped forward with a pair of sneezes as Zoe approached, stopping her slightly in her tracks, “ugh, my n-nose tickles so m-much right now, wha- huathCHSH, hepttchSH” another set of sneezes punctuated the sentence.

 

“Oh, bless you, um, let me grab you a tissue,” Zoe stammered, reaching into her bag to dig around for a travel pack of Kleenex that she always keeps in there, “oh, it’s got to be in here – “

 

“Hah-UTCHOO” Zoe looked up to see TJ’s face now twisted into a sneezy expression, “UTCHOO … UTCHOO … UTCHOO … UTCHOO … UTCHOO” TJ let out a volley of nearly identical sneezes separated by a fairly even 5 seconds between each.

 

“HAPTHCHSHU, huaftCHUH” another two sneezes shot out of JJ.

 

Zoe just stood there watching these brothers as they each almost took turns sneezing, JJ in sets of two and TJ in sets of five to seven, “hafthCHSH, heptCHSH – UTCHOO … UTCHOO … UTCHOO … UTCHOO … - heptCHsht, aptCHSth – UTCHOO … UTCHOO.” The symphony of sneezes continued to echo through the room as Zoe realized that they must both have been allergic to the cologne, “can someone grab some benedryl, prep a shower, and get these guys out of these clothes? They’re reacting to the cologne that JJ sprayed all over TJ – “UTCHOO UTCHOO UTCHOO … UTCHOO,” TJ erupted with three rapid sneezes followed by one more, as if the reminder that he took the brunt of the spray signaled his nose to expel the irritant.

 

The boys were escorted back to shower and change and take some Benadryl, Zoe couldn’t help but stand back and enjoy herself a bit as she heard them both continue to sneeze, although with a bit less urgency than before. It was an added bonus that JJ has lovely deep and wet sneezes while TJ has sharp masculine sneezes that are a fair bit more on the dry side. Just as each man was sexy in his own way, each had a sneeze to complement that.

 

“Well you two look like you’re doing a bit better,” Zoe quipped as TJ and JJ walked back into the main room of the studio, “sorry we didn’t think to make sure you wouldn’t be allergic to the cologne before giving it to you.”

 

“That’s alright, not sure how you ever would have been able to know, we’ve never known of having any allergies before,” JJ responded. “Yeah, I don’t think I’ve … UTCHOO …. Heh … ugh, *sniff* it went awa- UTCHOO … *sniff* haha, there it is. But yeah, I’ve never sneezed like this before,” TJ agreed, giving his nose a swipe.

 

“Well, next time we’ll just do a shoot with the clothing and we’ll get some empty show bottles of the cologne so you can’t go spraying each other with it next time,” Zoe responded, giving them each a joking glare, “we can reschedule for later, though, that Benadryl is probably going to make you both a bit drowsy, besides, poor TJ at least is still sneezing.” TJ flashed a smile before ducking down and sneezing again.

 

“HARRUSHOO,” a sneeze rung out as everyone was getting ready to wrap up, causing everyone to jump a bit and turn to see DJ with his hands over his nose looking up at everyone.

 

“Haha, guess it’s a Watt family allergy afterall,” joked TJ, “who would’ve thought?”

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

These are all really hot.