Press Conference (Tony Stark, MCU)

[Arc Reactor]

Back on my Tony Stark bs again! The ship is Tony Stark/James Rhodes. We don't care about canon here lol. Writing's bad, but hope you guys enjoy anyway.

 

Tony swiped at his nose again and cleared his throat as quietly as he could. He knew his nose was turning a bright, cherry red, and that’s why he was purposely sitting on the opposite end of the panel from Rhodey, who had told him to take Benadryl that morning, so that he didn’t have to deal with the “I told you so” look. He was trying his best, but the pollen count was one enemy he could not fight with his gauntlets, unfortunately. 

At least one thought comforted him: this was the last press panel he would ever have to do. He was stepping back from the Avengers officially and he was turning S.I. over to Pepper completely. In fact, S.I. would no longer be S.I. Tony had asked Pepper to please change the name and legacy of the company however she wished. “Potts Inc. has a ring to it,” he’d said. She agreed, and that was that. 

So yes. Tony Stark was going full on retired mode. And, he glanced over at Rhodey before fidgeting with the ring on his finger, full on house husband. 

Before he could begin reminiscing about how his life and happiness began and ended with Rhodey, he remembered why he was trying to avoid his fiance’s gaze because his nose started tickling something fierce. He leaned back from the microphone in front of his face, grateful that it was Natasha who was asked a question and not him, and pressed a knuckle hard against his nose. 

“Heh,” he breathed. He prayed the urge would just go away. He knew once he started, he wouldn’t be able to stop, and a sneezing fit on YouTube just didn’t sound like what he needed as soon as he was retired. He wanted to disappear, not go viral. 

The tickle muted, so he slowly, but surely removed his knuckle, turning back towards the clamoring press. 

Which, in hindsight, was a bad idea. 

A bright camera flash hit him right in the face, and he spun, burying his face in his elbow as the urge bloomed rapidly. “Hehhh… ESSCHiew! Hehhh… EISCHoo!” His head bobbed twice in succession as he muffled his sneezes. He lowered his arm, sniffling, and wiggled his nose. 

God, how much longer is this going to go on for? 

“Gesundheit,” Sam Wilson said, shooting him a quick, playful grin. 

“Th-hah-thanks… HehISSHoo!” Tony barely managed to get his elbow up and turn away from the mic. 

“And again,” Sam said. 

“How long -- snf --” Tony rubbed at his nose fiercely, turning it a deep red. “How long till this ends?” He cleared his throat and coughed quietly.

“About ten more minutes. We can pass a message along to wrap it up faster if you want.”

Ten more minutes. He should be able to -- “HehTSCHiew! Oh my God… Heh… heh… at’TSCHH! Hehhh… EIISCHoo!” 

“Jeez. Bless you, man.” 

On second thought: “Thanks. Yeah, snf, could you pa… heh… pass it along?” 

Sam nodded, then tapped Natasha’s shoulder and whispered in her ear, who then whispered to Steve, etc. etc. 

“Also,” Sam whispered. “Don’t look now, but the Colonel over there is staring some sort of daggers at you.”

Tony chuckled in the middle of his latest attempt at trying to rub his nose into submission. “Yeah, well, snf, he did try to make me take Benadryl before this.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it.”

The moderator paused as Rhodey passed the message along to her, then announced, “I have just received word that this conference has to be cut short, so if anyone has one final question they would like to ask, please raise your hand.” 

There was a clamor as almost every reporter enthusiastically raised their hands. The moderator gestured towards one. 

The eager, young woman was given the mic. “Hi! This question is for Mr. Stark.”

Tony, who had been too preoccupied with trying not to sneeze, didn’t notice his name called at first. Then, he felt a nudge against his knee. 

“You’re up, man,” Sam whispered. 

Tony could feel Rhodey’s smug smile all the way from across the room. 

“Hey sweetheart, what’chu got for me?” He asked relatively successfully, though he cringed internally at the congestion seeping into his voice. He leaned back to clear his throat again. 

“Hi Mr. Stark. Firstly, I want to thank you for all that you’ve done during your time as an Avenger and I wish you the best of luck on your retirement…”

Tony was sure what the reporter was saying was very sweet, but he had to turn away when the tingling in his nostrils became overwhelming. “HehNGXT!” He stifled. He tried to turn back, but was delayed again by a noisy “HehNGXT… ISSCHiew!” 

“Excuse mbe, snf.” Oh no. “Could you repead da’?”

“Of course. Bless you! My question was, how do you plan to spend your days off-duty?” 

“Quiedly.” Tony cleared his throat again. What he wouldn’t do for a tissue right now. “Ndo monsters, ndo demons, ndo aliens, snf, just, snff, quiet days with the people I care about the most.” 

He glanced over at Rhodey, who had replaced his smug smile with a sappy one. 

“Alright, thank you everyone--” the moderator began wrapping everything up, and there was a surge of noise as all the reporters began moving around to get to the exits. 

Tony stood up quickly and speed walked to a silent corner backstage so that the pollen count could have its tortuous way with him. He tented his hands over his nose.  “HehhAIISCHHoo!” He bent over with the force of that one. “EIISH! HehhhEISCHiew! Jesu -- hehhhATSCHEW!” 

A gentle hand rested on the small of his back, and despite his miserable, itchy situation, Tony smiled. “Here tdo gloatd?”

Rhodey laughed softly. “I’ll save it for later after you’re doped up on the antihistamines at home. Tissues in the meantime?” 

“Kdnew tdhere was a reasond tdo marry you, snff.” 

Tony spent a good couple of seconds clearing his nose while Rhodey gently rubbed his back. 

“Can’t wait for the YouTube compilation to go up,” Rhodey said, snickering. 

Tony rolled his eyes. “As if there aren't enough of them,” he muttered, throwing his used tissues in the trash and grabbing some sanitizer from the automatic dispenser. 

“I’ll make one one day. Make sure it’s the best one.”

“I’ll call off the marriage so fast if you do that, so help me.” 

“Yeah, well.” Rhodey wrapped an arm around Tony’s waist. “You can’t get rid of me even if you tried.”

“Don’t sound so… heh… sure… heh…”

“Alright, let’s get you home first, sneezy.” 

“HehrrUSHH! HehYESHHiew!”

“God bless your soul,” Rhodey said before pressing a kiss against Tony’s flushed cheek. 

[Tassielli]

Ugh they’re too cute 

[SleepingPhlox]

The world can never have enough Tony Stark sickfic.  This is so good!

[beatlelover22]

God, LOVE this. So sweet. I could picture the press conference perfectly ugh. Thanks for sharing!!!