Under The Weather (Deep Blue Sea, Janice) Finished Dec 5 -23

[Chanel_no5]

***Note***

  Yes, Deep Blue Sea, the killer shark movie.       

Of course, in my universe, the movie events never happened, the scientists just work on their research at the off-shore facility, and this takes place before the movie events would have taken place either way. 

Normally, this character isn’t really my type. Buuuut I really like this actor. She's so fucking cute.   And the thing is, what struck me about the character Janice is that she seems like the type of person who’s constantly getting colds. I don’t know why. It just seems to fit her. Soooo I thought I'd see if I could do something on that, because last time I wrote a cold fic I had a lot of fun.  And I'm writing colds for trade fics at the moment too, so I thought I'll keep with the trend for the moment.  

I'm going to add in some hints of contagion, but it's not something I'm personally interested in so I won't explore it further with the other characters. 

***

 

“Hey Jan, working on your sunburn?”

Janice shaded her eyes from the bright California sun and looked up at the other woman. Brenda grinned at her and handed her a can of Coke, which she gratefully accepted.

“Well, last chance to soak up some sun before the storm hits,” the blonde replied and patted the spot beside her. “Join me.”

Brenda sat down next to her and leaned back against the wall. Janice had her rough hiker’s boots up on the rail, and Brenda’s sneakers followed her example.

“You really are about to get a burn, though” Brenda remarked, giving her colleague and friend a light pat on the shoulder. Janice responded with a wince and put her short-sleeved shirt back on over her tank top.

“Thanks. It’s a fine line between medium and well-done,” Janice joked, knowing that she would never get the fabulous kind of tan Brenda sported without even trying. Janice’s pale skin only flushed and then burned. But she loved the sun either way.

“I should’ve put on some music,” Brenda said and took a deep gulp of her soda. “It’s eerie quiet out here, just wind and waves.”

“I like it,” Janice said, her eyes closed. “I have a headache after staring at the computer screen for eight hours straight. And I didn’t sleep much last night.”

“Ah. Bad dreams? Or wet dreams? I know you worked with Jim in the lab last night.”

“Shut up, Bren.” Janice felt her cheeks heat up.

“Aww, how cute, you’re even blushing.”

“I’m not blushing.”

“Look, I can’t say I understand this schoolgirl crush you have on Professor Whitlock, but…”

“I don’t have a crush on him,” Janice insisted, but by now her entire face was glowing red. “Jesus, he’s sixteen years older than I am!”

“And you just happened to know that exact number of years,” Brenda smirked. “I rest my case, baby.” She sipped her soda again and leaned her head back against the warm wall.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Janice had nearly dozed off; she was really tired and even the sugar and caffeine hadn’t made a dent in the headache. She wouldn’t have minded it if she actually had fallen asleep there, but before she could, a persistent tickle bloomed inside her right nostril. It was one of those tickles that will end in a sneeze no matter what you do, so instead of fighting it, she quickly glanced up at the bright sunny sky to push it over the edge, and then snapped forward with a strong, wet sneeze.

“Heh-EISSHHew!”

Brenda cracked one eye open and looked at her.

“Bless you.”

“Thanks,” Janice replied, wiping some spray off her legs, which had taken the full brunt of the uncovered sneeze. Then she sneezed again, this time managing to stifle it against the back of her hand, if only with plenty of effort.

“Bless you,” Brenda repeated and began to stand up, stretching. “I’ve got to get back and check the coms.”

“Right.” Janice yawned. “I wonder if Dr Susie is done for the day yet.”

“Oh… I would say she is,” Brenda said, gesturing towards one of the shark pens. Janice leaned forward and looked, seeing Susan watching Carter heave himself up from one. They were used to him swimming with the sharks, but nevertheless, neither could really shake the unease every time he did. “You’re not the only one with raging hormones on this facility.”

Janice shook her head at the not-so-discreet jab, but she was smiling.

“What do you think about her chances?”

Brenda snorted.

“Lesser than you getting together with Jim.”

“Really?” Janice said, forgetting that she wasn’t supposed to sound eager.

“Yeah. They may be young and hot, so mutual attraction, right?”

“Uh-huh,” Janice hummed and cleared her throat. It felt a bit raw after the sneezes, so she took another sip of the drink.

“But there’s mutual contempt there too. He despises her smarts. She despises his non-existent education. They might end up in bed together at some point, but that’s never gonna be a happily ever after.”

They watched as Carter said something that had Susan making a frustrated, annoyed gesture with both arms, and march away from there.

“Yeah…” Janice said, “I think you’re right.”

Brenda shrugged.

“Well. Susan is a big girl, Carter is a big boy, they can handle it. Anyway. I’m off. See you at supper.”

As she left, Susan came up instead. Janice sighed inwardly. Susan was alright, but she was so extremely focused on the research that she could be a bit too much. Susan was all work and no fun. That didn’t mean that Janice didn’t take her job seriously, she did, but she had never been obsessed with it the way Susan was.

So when Susan calmly sat down in the spot where Brenda had been sitting a little while ago, Janice raised her eyebrows.

“Coming to convince me to get back to work, are you?” she asked.

“Maybe I should,” Susan said with a sigh, “we’re behind on the tests and we won’t be able to do much useful work with the sharks for days once the storm hits.”

Janice made a grumpy face, and it wasn’t entirely in a joking manner.

“Aw man, we’ve worked around the clock all week, it’s Friday, and the rest of the crew is going home over the weekend. What's a girl gotta do to get some time off?"

“I said I should, not that I will,” Susan said, and this time she flashed a sunny smile at the marine biologist. “We’re gonna get wasted tonight, and suffer the consequences tomorrow when the storm prevents us from doing much useful anyway, and then get back to work once the consequences wear off.”

“Amen,” Janice said, unmistakably relieved, raised her Coke in an exaggerated toast, and drank deeply. Susan held out her hand.

“Can I have a sip?”

“Sure.”

Janice didn’t know yet that the sneezes, as well as the headache, were the vanguards of a budding cold, and that she passed her viruses on to the equally unsuspecting Susan with this innocent drinksharing.

She turned to the side, away from Susan, and sneezed again, then groaned and rubbed her nose furiously.

“Bless you,” Susan said and handed the Coke back.

“Thanks. I just keep sneezing, I don’t know what’s going on…!”

“Probably pollen in the air.”

“Out here?” Janice sounded doubtful. “I never get hayfever when on Aquatica.”

“Well, this particular weather front is coming from inland, so…” Susan shrugged. “Harbinger of doom?”

Janice shuddered.

“Don’t talk like that. It’s gonna be a bad storm, let’s not tempt fate.”

Susan gave her a lopsided smile.

“Harbinger of hayfever, then.”

Janice brought her hand up to her still tickly nose and rubbed the underside of her nostrils with her knuckles.  

“Yeah… I should probably take an allergy pill then, if we’re eating outside tonight.”

Brushing aside her colleague’s mysterious nasal uproar, Susan asked:

“Are we ready to begin the extraction from the test sharks soon? We really need to start getting results. Chimera Pharmaceuticals are breathing down my neck.”

“No way,” Janice said with absolute conviction. “We’re not even close to starting any trials y-yet… heh…” her breath caught in her throat, eyebrows knitting together, nostrils flaring, in a drawn-out moment of absolute sneezy torture, then she snapped forward, over her own lap, and sneezed twice, one right after the other. “HehISSSH! Eh-ISSSHEW!” She shook her head. “Whoa!”

Susan chuckled.

“Better go get that antihistamine now,” she said. Janice stood up, pressing her hand against the side of her nose.

“Yeah,” she agreed and began climbing down the stairs, heading for sublevel 1, where her quarters were located. She wasn’t too keen on leaving the warm sunshine and go down below surface, where the air constantly had a raw chill to it, but she was even less keen on having to sneeze all afternoon and evening.

 

***

 To be continued   

 

Edited April 13, 2022 by Chanel_no5

[CantDoThisAnymore]

Brilliant opening chapter, I look forward to all that is to come!

[OnlyADream]

I rarely know the movies you post fanfiction about, but I never care because your writing is always so, so good. It's some of the best on the site. I get so excited whenever I see you've posted something new. Thanks so much for sharing! It's great so far, as always, and I can't wait to read more 😊

[Chanel_no5]

6 hours ago, OnlyADream said:

I rarely know the movies you post fanfiction about, but I never care because your writing is always so, so good. It's some of the best on the site. I get so excited whenever I see you've posted something new. Thanks so much for sharing! It's great so far, as always, and I can't wait to read more 😊

Oh wow, thank you so, so much!! ❤️  Yeah, I tend to write obscure or unpopular fandoms 😆 so it really means a lot to know that people actually read those fics and like them. When no one comments I always second-guess myself and wonder if I should just stop posting those, as they don't seem to have an audience and only take up room from the more popular fandoms, or if I should keep posting them in the hopes that there is someone out there who does like them. Actually, I very nearly didn't post this one at all since it's not a recent movie.   It's from 1999, and it's about killer sharks attacking scientists at an offshore research facility. Not one of the biggest movies ever but it did pretty well at the box office that year (has some big names, too, Samuel L Jackson and Stellan Skarsgard). I only rewatched it lately because I have a huge thing for the actor playing Janice, but that's usually how I get into fandoms; because I have a thing for an actor.    

 

20 hours ago, Mikesfet said:

Brilliant opening chapter, I look forward to all that is to come!

Thank you so much! Next chapter is in the works, should be up by the end of the week after I wrap up some other projects. I hope it will be worth the wait!  

 

[Reader]

Man, I wanted to read more and more and more. Such an enjoyable lead up! The queen is back! 

[sneezemeister]

I'm terrible about commenting on stories (working on it), but I always love your work! 

[snowshie]

Thank you for sharing!

[NoV]

On 1/17/2022 at 12:30 PM, Chanel_no5 said:

And the thing is, what struck me about the character Janice is that she seems like the type of person who’s constantly getting colds. I don’t know why. It just seems to fit her.

^Agreed  

The Deep Blue Sea sneeze fanfic I didn't know I wanted until I read it - and now I need more...  Top job, as always!

[Chanel_no5]

On 1/19/2022 at 7:20 AM, Reader said:

Man, I wanted to read more and more and more. Such an enjoyable lead up! The queen is back! 

Awww, thank you soooo much!  But you're the queen.   I hope you'll enjoy the second part too.  

 

On 1/19/2022 at 11:02 PM, sneezemeister said:

I'm terrible about commenting on stories (working on it), but I always love your work! 

Yeah, I know it can be hard to know what to say, but it really helps with creativity and confidence, just to know that people are reading - and not hating what they read.   Thank you so, so much!  

On 1/19/2022 at 11:50 PM, snowshie said:

Thank you for sharing!

Thank you for commenting!  

2 hours ago, NoV said:

^Agreed  

The Deep Blue Sea sneeze fanfic I didn't know I wanted until I read it - and now I need more...  Top job, as always!

AAAHHH, someone who knows the movie!! 🤝   She just looks so sensitive in general... too cute.    Thank you so much!! I hope the next part will quell that need, for now.

 

 

Okay party people, here's part 2.   Let me know what you think!  

 

***

By the time the food was getting ready and various bottles were opened, everyone was gathered, Susan, Brenda, Jim, Scoggs, Carter, and of course Preacher, the chef. But there was no sign of Janice.

“I did announce to get to surface level over the com system,” Brenda said. “Maybe she was in the shower or something and didn’t hear.” She put her wine glass down. “Should I go check on her?”

“No need,” Jim said, opening a bottle of beer. “There she is.”

Janice smiled at him and waved at the others in an upbeat manner, but she didn’t feel very upbeat. She just felt beat. She had hoped that a quick nap would at least do something about the headache, but it hadn’t. So she had woken up only minutes ago, felt sleep-groggy, and had gotten insanely congested. Her throat felt scratchy, too. And she felt chilled. Her outfit, faded jeans and a light blue hoodie, reflected this, and was a stark contrast to the others with their shorts and tees.

Well, except for Jim, of course, who wouldn’t be caught dead in shorts. He was in his usual informal work uniform; a pair of cargo pants, and a shirt. Today it was a Hawaii shirt, turquoise with pink pineapples. Janice thought it looked ridiculous. She also wanted to wear it. With nothing underneath.

Though perhaps not when she was already freezing.

“Sorry guys, I dozed off,” she said, hoping the scratchiness in her throat and the blockage in her sinuses didn’t translate too obviously into her voice.

“I hounded you that bad this week, huh?” Susan said, reached for the wine bottle and an empty glass, poured a healthy amount of ruby liquid, and held it out to Janice.

The other woman didn’t immediately take it; a hazy, faraway look had crept into her eyes, and her nostrils twitched.

“Hold on, I think I’m gonna sneeze…” she said in a breathy voice, and slowly pulled her sleeves down over her hands, as if her hands were cold. The sneezy look on her face intensified; eyebrows knitting, mouth dropping slightly open, nostrils flaring wildly, and she took a single, deep breath and pitched forward, sneezing into her sleeve-covered hands.  

“HuhESSSHHH! Ahh-ISSCHuh! Snrfff… hah-EERSSHHoo!!”

The third sneeze was much louder than the other two, and so forceful that she almost lost her balance for a second.

“Wow, bless you,” Susan said once Janice had straightened up and relieved the sleeves from their brief service as tissues, “Did you even take any allergy meds?”

Janice sniffled thickly as she reached out and accepted the glass that Susan still patiently held.

“Yeah, I did…” Janice muttered, rubbing her nose against her sleeve, “I think I’m coming down with a cold.”

This was not something out of the ordinary. Janice caught every cold in circulation, or at least so it seemed. She felt as if she was always blowing her nose, sucking on cough drops, or popping Tylenol.  

“Long overdue,” Scoggs said with a laugh. “What is it, three months since last time you were sick?”

“Four,” Janice corrected him and slumped down in an empty chair next to Brenda.

“New record,” Brenda said, playfully poking Janice in the ribs.

Janice, whose nose wasn’t her only ticklish spot, folded into herself like a pocketknife and wheezed out something between a laugh, a cough, and a yelp. She swatted after Brenda, but the brunette had already pulled back, out of her reach.

“I think you’ve pretty much been coming down with or getting over a cold throughout the entire time I’ve known you,” Brenda continued.

Janice sat back up, rubbed her nose with the heel of her hand, and sighed.

“Pretty much,” she agreed. “The worst part is that I can’t scuba dive when I’m sick. Kinda difficult to be a marine biologist and not be able to dive.”

“So, is that why you’re mostly working with lab research?” Jim interjected. He had only been on site for a bit over three months at this point and had yet to witness her perpetual cold-catching cycle. 

Janice blushed.

“Yeah, actually.”

“Well, then your inclination towards catching colds has greatly helped advancing science,” he said, and gave her one of his rare smiles. He was usually a man of few words, fewer smiles, and an all-around grumpy attitude, and if he smiled, it was a special event.

Janice felt her heart skip a beat and returned the smile, but her nose was tickling again, and she once more pulled the sleeve of her hoodie over her hand – just one hand this time - and sneezed into it, muffling a sneeze that sounded tired and wetter than the previous ones.

“Huh-ptSSSHuh!”

She let out a quiet moan before she resurfaced from the fabric, that now had a very visible wet spot in it.

“Oh God, I can tell already this cold is gonna be a doozy.”

A chorus of “bless you”s and “gesundheit”s made its way across the table. No one was particularly concerned about potentially catching her cold, for some reason it always seemed like Janice’s colds preferred to stay inside her, and not venture into anyone else.

Before any further conversation about Janice’s less than stellar immune system could take place, food was ready, and everyone walked over to Preacher and began filling their plates with food. Janice remained in her chair a little while longer, gathering energy to walk the short distance required. She was hoping against hope that she was wrong about how bad this cold was going to get, hoping that Jim wouldn’t be totally put off by her drippy, sneezy appearance, hoping that she would wake up tomorrow to find her stupid immune system had decided to step up its game and kick the viruses to the curb.

But she knew her body. She was in for a bad one, and there was nothing she could do about it but riding it out, just braving the storm, as she had so many times before.

And she was going to do it with a smile, she decided, stood up, and walked over to the others to fill her plate, too.

 

[sneezemeister]

Another lovely part! 

[Purplelily]

I have no idea how I missed this! This is incredible. I’m so weak for a sneezy woman with allergies and a weak immune system. I can’t wait to see Janice’s cold get worse, and I hope someone comes to take care of her too! 

[Mems]

I know absolutely nothing about this movie but I love this!

[Chanel_no5]

On 1/23/2022 at 6:40 AM, sneezemeister said:

Another lovely part! 

Thank you! I hope you'll enjoy the next one too!  

On 1/23/2022 at 8:17 AM, Purplelily said:

I have no idea how I missed this! This is incredible. I’m so weak for a sneezy woman with allergies and a weak immune system. I can’t wait to see Janice’s cold get worse, and I hope someone comes to take care of her too! 

I'm so happy you like it!!  Ohhh yes, it will get WAY worse for poor Janice!   I don't think you'll be disappointed... at least I hope not.  

On 1/25/2022 at 1:45 AM, Mems said:

I know absolutely nothing about this movie but I love this!

Thank you so much!  

 

Okay, here's part 3, and she's... not feeling well.     Let me know what you think!  

(also, I have done some editing but I'm really tired so I might have missed some things. I'll fix them tomorrow if that's the case.  )

 

***

 

Several hours and many drinks later, spirits were high among the crew members, and Janice did her best to keep hers up too. Most of the time when they had a little time off work but remained on site, she was the one dragging others up to dance or goof around, but today she preferred to sit and watch the others having a good time. Her head was pounding in pace with the music, and she was feeling a bit lightheaded, but if that was due to the brewing illness or her current drunken state, she wasn’t sure.

Her nose was so runny, she kept sniffling and wiping at it with her sleeve, getting less and less discreet about it as the evening went on. She was also sneezing completely openly by now, only turning away from the others but otherwise letting them out freely. The sneezes were getting stronger and wetter as well.

That burning sensation in her nose returned – it wasn’t even a tickle anymore, it was the same kind of flaming irritation you got if you got water up your nose… something she was used to, being a marine biologist who had spent much time in the water. Though right now it felt like her nose produced more liquid than she’d ever accidentally inhaled.

The sneeze built slowly, and she found herself half-turned away from the table with an undoubtedly ridiculous expression on her face and her breath hitching like some silly cartoon character that had just gotten doused with pepper. She couldn’t do anything about it, but she hoped Jim wasn’t looking in her direction.

“HehISSH! EhISSSHEW! Huh… aIISSHHoo!”

She sniffled, rubbed her nose for what felt like the hundredth time, wincing at the squishing sound within as she rubbed it. She needed to blow her nose soon, but there were no napkins or anything on the table – no clean ones, anyway – and she didn’t have the energy to stand up again. And so sniffling, snorting, and occasionally wiping her nose on her sleeves seemed like the lesser evil, disgusting as it probably was.

She leaned her head into both hands, sniffling thickly and pondered if she should just throw in the towel and go to bed. But across the deck, Jim and Susan were discussing – arguing, from what it looked like – and she wasn’t quite ready to tear herself from the sight of Jim yet.

Janice was very well aware that she was wearing rose-coloured glasses when she looked at Jim, he wasn’t actually that handsome, but… somehow he was anyway, to her. He spoke to her like she was an actual person with a brain, and Janice, whose awkward demeanour often made her seem more naïve than she actually was, had always struggled to be taken seriously. A brilliant scientist who spoke to her as the equal that she was, that alone was enough to get her heart to beat faster. And then there was also the fact that while he so rarely smiled, when he did, it was usually at her. Janice wasn’t sure if she was reading things into it that wasn’t there, but…

Jim abruptly left Susan, clearly not in the mood to continue whatever discussion they’d been having, and walked up to the table where the bottles were, pouring himself a scotch.

Janice sniffled, which turned out to be not the greatest idea when the irritation in her sinuses flared up anew.  

“… hehhh… uhiiiiSSHHew! Oh by God…” she muttered. She needed to sneeze again, but when she glanced up she noticed that Jim was heading towards her. She pinched her nose hard in an attempt to hold the next sneeze in, but for whatever reason, holding it back failed spectacularly. Janice had never been good at stifling her sneezes either, and under the influence, that skill certainly didn’t improve. It probably would have been less messy to simply sneeze normally, but she didn’t, and the result was an explosively failed stifle, the end product of which she ended up with all over her hands.

For a moment, Janice just froze in place, unable to think, move, or even breathe. She had likely been more mortified at some point in her life, but she couldn’t recall any such instance now. Her cheeks, already somewhat flushed from a combination of the alcohol and a low-grade fever, instantly turned red-hot, and her eyes, already watery from the sneezes and the headache, welled up with embarrassed tears. She dared a quick glance at Jim, checking how repulsed he was.

Instead of looking grossed out, he chuckled and dropped a handful of napkins in front of her.

“Bless you. I thought you looked like you could use these, but I clearly underestimated how dire the situation was,” he said and sat down in the chair across the table from her.

“Oh thank you, you’re a lifesaver,” she said, scrambling to clean herself up as quickly as possible, “I didn’t think…” she forced a teasing sneeze into submission, this time succeeding, “ugh, I didn’t think I’d get this… uh, drippy, this fast.”

She turned away and blew her nose before she was ready to look at him again.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“For?”

He leaned back and sipped his drink.

“Uhh… well, you know…” she shrugged and made a vague gesture towards her face with the hand clutching the tissues, “being all sick and gross.”

“Jan, the human body is a wonderful creation, but flawed. It’s not our fault. And you shouldn’t apologise for something that’s not your fault.” He took a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and opened it. “Besides, you could never be gross.”

She smiled a little, on one hand thinking that he probably just said so to reassure her, on the other hand thinking that if that’s what he did… well, it worked.

She took a sip of her rum and Coke.

“What did you and Susan talk about before?” she asked. Her throat felt sore, and she would probably wake up with a cough tomorrow, but for the time being it was still her nose that was the main problem.

It very often was, if she was completely honest. In addition to her frequent colds, Jan was allergic to everything. Not severely allergic, but sometimes she thought there were more things that made her sneeze than there were things that didn’t. Sure, if she took antihistamines she could go on a hike in the woods or cuddle with a cat or dog without much issue, but without the meds she would be a sneezy mess within minutes. That’s why working out here had been perfect for her, because off the coast no pollen bothered her, and the only animal on Aquatica except the sharks was Preacher’s parrot. Birds were the exception to the allergy rule, apparently, so out here, the only thing that bothered her was these frequent stupid colds.

She rubbed her nose hard with the balled-up tissues in her hand, moaning quietly at how tender the chafed skin around her nostrils had gotten.

Jim had put the cigarette in his mouth and lit it, blowing out a plume of smoke into the still evening air before he responded to her question.

“Dr Susie thinks it takes too long to increase the growth of the brain tissue in the test sharks. She wants to skip the hormone additions and use gene therapy instead.”

Janice shook her head.

“Gene manipulation is illegal. Not to mention immoral.”

“You mean it’s moral to extract fluids from their brains in the first place? I think Susan’s rationale is just that; it’s not.”

“Grey area,” Janice replied, dabbing the tissues under her nose again and sniffled. “I know Susan doesn’t care about the sharks other than what they can provide for her research, but the rest of us here actually care about the wellbeing of the animals too. We don’t want to cause any long-term harm to them.”

“She has worked hard for this.”

“I have worked equally hard to protect the marine wildlife.”

He held up both hands in a gesture to show he surrendered.

“I believe you. I’m only explaining Susan’s way of thinking.”

“Moral or not,” Janice said after a few seconds, “gene manipulation is still illegal.”

“Yeah, that’s what I told her,” Jim replied, taking another puff on the cigarette, “and you could probably tell from the animated reaction of hers what she thought about that.”

Janice giggled.

“Wasn’t that hard to figure out, no,” she said and sniffled again. The prickle in her nose was getting worse again, much worse, and it suddenly dawned on her why – the smoke floated in the air, and while he didn’t blow it in her direction on purpose, the smoke still got right up her nose. Her already inflamed nose. She got her hand up and rubbed it, first discreetly, then with more emphasis, but it didn’t do much good, if any.

The urge to sneeze was most clearly written in her eyes, the hazy, unfocused look and eyebrows rising and knitting together, but her twitching nose and flaring nostrils, and open mouth with upper lip curled back into a hint of a snarl, were quite the tattletales as well. Still she fought this desperate need, not wanting to sneeze even more right in front of him, but the cold was bad enough on its own, when it had reinforcements it was impossible to resist.

“I’m sorry, I… I have to sneeze agaihhhn… huh… uhhhIESSSHHoo! HeTSSSH! HEH-isschh! Heh-AAAISSSSHoo!”

Tears streamed down her cheeks and she could barely get a breath in between the sneezes, which were much more violent than they had been earlier. The tissues she clutched were hardly useful anymore, but she kept trying to contain these loud, wet outbursts into them anyway.

“Whoa,” Jim said. “Bless you. Are you okay?”

Janice shook her head no.

“I… I think… huhh… Ehh-ISSCHHooo! It’s the… the… heh-AAAGTSSSHHuuh!... the smoke that’s… huhhh-EESCHHOO! Oh G-gohhhd…huh-uhh-GTSSCHHHuh!”

“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” Jim grunted and put the cigarette out, waving an arm into the smoke to get it to disperse faster.

Janice had abandoned the soaked tissues that were falling apart in her hands and resorted to her already well-used sleeves instead, muffling into them what had turned into a rapid-fire fit with no breaths between sneezes at all.

She faintly heard Jim’s chair pull back and him walking away, and she wanted to cry. Whether it was because he felt bad or because he was done with her gross snotty appearance whatever he said earlier, he walked away.

And she was still sneezing helplessly, her nose feeling like she had snorted white pepper, and each sneeze made the headache even worse.

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“Come on Jan, let’s get you to bed,” Jim said. “Before that cold turns into something nasty.”

“It’s already pretty nasty,” Janice managed to say, the sentence barely intelligible, but when he dragged her up from the chair, she followed suit, too fatigued to really care anymore.

“It’s gonna get worse if you don’t rest,” he said and handed her a bunch of clean, dry napkins – the reason he had left the table. “And at the risk of sounding like our dear Dr Susie, I, uh, we need you, for the project to move forward.”

Janice did notice the small correction there, but she was too focused on her nose to give it the attention it probably deserved. Also, standing up she felt the effects of the alcohol more than she had sitting down, and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to navigate the narrow corridors below surface level to get to her quarters. Or, she probably could, but she was pretty sure she’d stumble and maybe fall along the way.

Not that Jim was that much steadier on his feet, but unlike her, he wasn’t doubling over with sneezes every five seconds or so.

They somehow made it all the way down without tripping, and for Janice it had just started to sink in that Jim actually had his arm around her waist and that she was leaning into him – when she wasn’t turning away to sneeze, that was – and that she had never been this close to him before and didn’t want him to let go.

But when they reached her quarters he untangled himself from her and told her goodnight.

“I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or the cold or me talking now,” Janice said, leaning against the doorframe for support, “but you, um, could come inside if you want.”

Jim said nothing, and Janice let out a nervous giggle.

“No, right, I’m sick, and I’m probably contagious. Bad idea. Forget that I said anything.”

“It is a bad idea, but not because you’re sick,” Jim said. “But you’re drunk. Hell, we’re both drunk.”

She nodded.

“Right. Yeah. Bad idea, I agree.”

They looked awkwardly at each other for a few seconds, Janice fidgeting with the napkins in her hands.

“Go get some sleep, Jan. Hope you feel better in the morning.”

At this, she laughed out loud until a cough interrupted her.

“You think anyone here is going to feel good tomorrow morning?”

He laughed too.

“Probably not. But still. Goodnight, Jan.”

“Goodnight.”

She sneezed again as she went inside and closed the door behind her. Suddenly overcome with exhaustion, she peeled her clothes off as she went, crept into bed without even bothering to brush her teeth, and was asleep almost before her head hit the pillow.

 

[CantDoThisAnymore]

This is so good, and yet I feel so bad for her. Thanks for continuing this, already looking forward to the next chapter!

[Purplelily]

That was amazing!! It was everything I wanted and more. Super sneezy shark scientist? Yes please!! I was already endeared before, but this was just phenomenal. Poor Janice! 
 

I’m torn between wanting her to get even worse, and wanting her to feel better. Someone should take care of the poor woman! 
 

 

[KungFuKok]

I just recently watched this movie, so I was shocked to see a fic about what I thought was a niche and unremarkable movie. Though I love what you’ve done and how you’ve given some of the characters more depth than they ever got in the movie. Also, it is pretty funny to see all of these characters alive and doing well having watched the movie lol.

[Chanel_no5]

5 hours ago, Mikesfet said:

This is so good, and yet I feel so bad for her. Thanks for continuing this, already looking forward to the next chapter!

Thank you so much!   I'm glad you enjoy it... but I'm kinda glad you also feel sorry for her, because she really is miserable, poor dear.  

 

3 hours ago, Purplelily said:

That was amazing!! It was everything I wanted and more. Super sneezy shark scientist? Yes please!! I was already endeared before, but this was just phenomenal. Poor Janice! 
 

I’m torn between wanting her to get even worse, and wanting her to feel better. Someone should take care of the poor woman! 

Thank you so much!!!   Poor Janice, indeed.   She's still gonna get worse though... because this cold is not peaking yet, and now she's gonna have a hangover to worry about on top of it.   But it's gonna get better soon enough. Promise.  

Aww, but Jim actually kinda was. He didn't want her to regret inviting him in case it was the alcohol speaking.   There will be more proper caretaking though. ^^

 

2 hours ago, KungFuKok said:

I just recently watched this movie, so I was shocked to see a fic about what I thought was a niche and unremarkable movie. Though I love what you’ve done and how you’ve given some of the characters more depth than they ever got in the movie. Also, it is pretty funny to see all of these characters alive and doing well having watched the movie lol.

Thank you so much!!   It really means a lot to me!  Um, yeah, about that...    I didn't care much for the movie per se, I just have a crush on the actor playing Janice.   And if there's someone I find hot, there will be sneezefics. It's just the law of nature. 🤷‍♀️  And Jacqueline's characters have a sad tendency to be killed off all the time, in the most gruesome ways (*cough*Malignant*cough*), so I'm just here creating different timelines, butterfly effect style, so they can live somewhere.   

[Mems]

Each chapter is better than the last!! I can’t wait for more.

[Chanel_no5]

On 2/3/2022 at 2:55 AM, Mems said:

Each chapter is better than the last!! I can’t wait for more.

Thank you! I'm so glad you still enjoy it!   I hope you'll like the next part too.  

 

Okay, since several of you don't know the movie, I present to you, some visuals. IF you want them, if not, go ahead and read it with your own idea of what they look like. This is a deleted scene, but it's good because all the characters are in it.  (and yes, I kinda borrowed a bit from Jim's rant about hangovers.)

Spoiler

First off, there was copywrited music (plus the bird says profanities) which was removed, that's why the sound is off in the beginning. Anyway. Preacher, the chef, is self-explanatory.   Samuel L Jackson's character isn't in my story, he's the CEO of the pharmaceutical company that funds Susan's research. Janice is the blonde and the man she leans against while pouring coffee is Jim. Scoggs is the guy who gets the cake against his will. Susan is the one who's already sitting by the table. Brenda is the one who hands the papers over to Susan. 

 

On to the fic: it will probably be obvious in this part (if it wasn't already), that I don't like Susan. Like, at all.  I know she was supposed to be this idealistic hardworking saving-the-world type of character, but she just came across as a self-absorbed brat to me. Don’t get me wrong, arrogant bitches are usually delicious subjects for sneezefics, but I can't with Susan, she just rubbed me the wrong way from the start, even the first time I saw the movie back when I was like 14. (fun fact, I thought Jan was cute back then too, even though I wouldn’t rediscover her for over 20 years, lol). ANYHOOO, I won't shift focus to Susan, at all, but yeah, she did catch Janice's cold. 

 

***

Waking up felt like a complicated and very delicate multi-layered operation. The first thing Janice noticed was the splitting headache and how dry her mouth was.

Hangover. Oh man. This is so bad.

How much had she been drinking anyway? She hadn’t felt that drunk. Some wine… some more wine… a rum and Coke… or two. Maybe three. Or had it been four..? Yeah, okay, she probably had been that drunk, and yeah, she probably did deserve this hangover. 

She groaned and ran her hands across her face. Then she realised that she couldn’t breathe through her nose. Her sinuses were completely blocked, and when she made an attempt to sniffle, the only thing that happened was that she needed to sneeze. A burning prickle was lodged deep within the block of congestion, like sharp gemstones lodged within a mountain.

Janice pinched her nose, hoping to squash that prickle and avoid sneezing, because the way her head felt, she wasn’t sure she’d live to tell the tale.

She slowly rolled over to the side and coughed, winced at the pain in her throat and poor achy head, and kept coughing, a dry, hacking cough that didn’t feel like it did much about the irritation in her throat.

“Oh God”, she whimpered, buried her face into the pillow and coughed again, harder this time. She was really sick. Part of it was thanks to the booze from last night, sure, but as far as colds went, this was worse than usual. Her colds, while annoying, didn’t use to wear her down like this. She’d have a sore throat and a mild cough, she’d be sniffly and stuffy and quite sneezy, but that was usually it. Her colds were more low profile but drawn-out than very dramatic. This, on the other hand… this cold was awful.

“UhhRASCHughh! Ooh, ow…!”

That sneeze felt like it had claws.

Janice put her hand to her throat and swallowed, winced, and swallowed again. Tears of pain welled up in her eyes and she blinked them away.

Oh this is bad. This is bad. Oh my God.

She somehow managed to sit up without her head exploding, which was a good start. Then she very gingerly got out of bed to find some clothes, settling for sweatpants and a big hoodie – not the one she had snotted all over last night – and stuffed her pockets with Kleenex. She went to the bathroom to blow her nose (if that would even be possible given how firmly set the congestion was, she didn't have high hopes), brush her teeth, and wash her face, and was horrified at the sight in the mirror. She looked like death warmed over. Janice had a naturally pale complexion, lightly dusted with golden freckles, a gift from her Irish ancestors. But today she looked almost ashen, except for two flushed spots, one on each cheek. Even despite the sunburn she had gotten yesterday afternoon. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen, her whole face looked puffy thanks to the congestion filling up the cavities behind it, and her nose was a bright red, so far only lightly chapped just around the nostrils but that would soon worsen if she didn’t drastically improve in the next few hours.

“Fat chance of that,” she muttered to herself in a fading, watery-sounding voice and coughed again.

She took a couple of Tylenol, not really counting on them to do much but at a loss of what else she could do about the situation, and left her quarters.

***

When she got to the mess hall, Brenda and Scoggs were already seated at one of the tables, staring bleary-eyed at each other over their coffee mugs, not speaking. Brenda at least looked up and gave Janice a tired wave, but Scoggs didn't move. Preacher was unusually quiet in the kitchen, none of the usual clattering from pans and other utensils, but only very soft sounds. Janice wasn’t sure if he suffered from a hangover too, or if he was just trying to be considerate to those who were. Either way she was grateful for it. Jim, Susan, and Carter were unaccounted for when Janice arrived, but Susan appeared less than a minute after her. She was squinting at the bright lights in the room and made a beeline for the coffee pot where Janice was standing and trying to force her hungover-shaky hand to be steady enough that she wouldn’t spill any of the hot liquid. She didn't feel like adding a burn to her already long list of sufferings. Or a second burn, if you counted what the sun had already done.

Susan took one of the napkins laid out next to the coffee, stifled two quick sneezes into it, and blew her nose. Janice gave her a look, but said nothing. She had a feeling that anything she said would be the wrong thing to say, but it seemed that not saying anything was also the wrong thing.

“I think you gave me whatever crap you have, thank you very much,” Susan said in a scratchy voice, and it was possible that she initially meant for it to sound joking instead of accusing, but that wasn’t how Janice heard it and not how she responded to it. Usually, Janice was the peacekeeper, the one smoothing things over and making light of situations to avoid conflicts and keep everyone happy, but… usually she wasn’t this miserable herself.

“Sorry I got sick, Susan, I’d stop if I could,” she snapped.

“Would you? Because sometimes it seems like you enjoy being the weak and sickly one,” Susan hurled back. “Playing the little damsel in distress. You know, no one thinks that’s charming, Jan. It’s just pathetic.”

Janice stared at her for several seconds, mouth dropping open (even more than was necessary in order for her to breathe right now). Her head was pounding with one of the worst headaches she'd ever had. Her nose was sore and itchy. Her throat hurt. She was tired to the bone and already regretted getting out of bed at all. She would have done anything to not be the weak and sickly one, anything. It wasn’t her fault that she caught everything, it wasn’t enjoyable in the least, ever, and it suddenly struck her just how much Susan despised weakness. Wasn’t that what this entire research project was about, after all? Was it really about saving people from the humiliating and debilitating degenerative disease that Alzheimer’s was… or was that just the polished public version and reality was more about not having people be weak and dependant on others to take care of them?

“That’s what you think of me, huh?” Janice said. Her voice was at least an octave lower than her normal, melodic speaking voice, thanks to the cold, but the tremble in it wasn’t from the illness, but from a valiant attempt not to cry. She had just been accused of being a weak little damsel in distress, crying would only cement Susan’s opinion.

“Damn right that's what I think of you. I don’t think you fake being sick, but I think you enjoy it. Getting attention and being pitied.”

Janice didn’t notice that her face now wore the universal expression of contempt, and she wasn’t even aware that contempt was what she felt about Susan in this moment. What she did know was that the other woman had hit her where it really hurt, and Janice wasn’t going to meet that with doe-eyed silence or her usual docile smile.

“You’re such a stupid bitch!” she spat, grabbed her coffee, and walked out, heading back for her quarters where she could sit and be that weak and disgusting damsel that she apparently was, without annoying anyone.

***

Of course, Janice with a fever was about as emotionally stable as Janice two days before her period, meaning not at all, so by the time she had closed the door behind her and crawled back into bed, she did start crying. And crying set off a chain reaction; her nose got even more stuffed up and runny, she was dripping everywhere, and her nose got even more irritated, so she had to sneeze again. And the sneezes set off the cough, which triggered more sneezes, and her headache only got worse.

For about half an hour, Janice was crying, coughing, and sneezing on a loop, and she really did feel like she had hit the all-time low of her life. Right now, she could agree that she was disgusting, with mess running down her face faster than she could wipe it off, and just all in all… well… pathetic. Weak. Useless.

Eventually she was too tired to even cry, and after cleaning herself up the best she could, she reached for a paperback novel to pass the time. No way in hell was she going back to the others today. No way.

It was difficult to read though, not only because of the headache, but she kept interrupting herself with a coughing fit or a messy, harsh sneeze… or three. Or seven. But it wasn't like she had anything better to do. 

There was a knock on the door. Janice suspected it was Susan who came to apologise, but she wouldn’t mean it and Janice wasn’t ready to hear it either way. So she ignored it.

The knocking continued.

“Go away!” she called out, and her voice cracked and she started coughing.

“Go away? And just last night you tried to invite me in. Guess I was smart not to take you up on that, if you changed your mind,” Jim said, standing in the open door looking like… well, like hangover would look if it was a person. But still lightyears better than Janice felt.

“Oh... I thought you were Susan,” Janice said, pulling several tissues out of her pocket and dove nose-first into the wad, more to hide her messy appearance than anything else.

“Happy to say I’m not, I can’t imagine what a nightmare that would be,” he replied and stepped inside before Janice could warn him to stay away from her and her viruses. She was unable to speak at all, however, because the desperate need to sneeze returned just as she opened her mouth, and instead of words, what came out was an embarrassingly loud and wet sneeze, followed by one that was even worse, and they came too sudden for her to even think about covering.

“Huh-EEISSSCHHoo! HAH-ERGSSSHHEW!"

The sound bounced against the walls and Janice cringed and lowered her head, realised that gravity worked against her interests in that position, and raised her head again before it made her runny nose much worse.

“Oh God, I’b so sorry,” she mumbled, belatedly pressing the tissues against her nose and mouth again. She noticed that she had sneezed all over the pages of her book, and discreetly closed it and put it away so Jim wouldn’t see.

“Bless you. Don’t be,” he said.

“Why are you here? To save the damsel in distress?” There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice, but it was drowned by congestion, and Jim didn't notice it.

“Oh good God I hope you’re no damsel in distress, I’m not much of a knight in shining armour,” he said and that coaxed a small laugh out of her. “Brenda told me what went down." He nodded towards the tray he held. "So as an excuse to see how you were, I brought you something more nutritious than just coffee. And if your head feels like mine, you'd probably need some painkillers.” He smiled. “Maybe even a little company.”

“I’d love some company… but I’m very clearly contagious. You don’t want to catch this,” Janice informed him, but he had already closed the door and was coming up to her, gently sitting down on the edge of the bed and putting down the small breakfast tray and some Aspirin on the bedside table.  

He sighed deeply.

“You know, Jan, here’s the thing… I really don’t care if I do.”

“Susan…”

“Susan overreacts,” he interrupted her. “I’ve known her since she was an intern. She’s not good at handling ill people.”

“Yet she’s a doctor,” Janice huffed.

“Ever wondered why she’s doing research instead of seeing patients?” Jim said without expecting an answer. He put his hand on her brow, feeling for a fever, and wincing. That was the only answer Janice needed, the Tylenol hadn’t done much.

“Jan, Jan,” he sighed, not removing his hand from her brow, instead stroking her hairline with his thumb. “Do you get this sick as often as they joked about last night?”

“Not like this… I mean, yeah, I get sick a lot, I don’t know what my immune system thinks its job is, but it’s not doing it very well…” she chuckled nervously and coughed. “… anyway, but I don’t get like this. Usually, I get a bit sneezy and sniffly. A little under the weather.”

“Well, this is not just 'a little under the weather',” Jim said, stroking her hair. As embarrassing as it was to be a drippy mess in front of the man she was desperately attracted to, the touch was worth it. Janice closed her eyes and leaned into him, hoping she wasn’t misreading this.

It seemed she wasn’t, as Jim adjusted his position so he could sit comfortably and put an arm around her. But it could be as a friend. It wasn’t necessarily a romantic gesture.

Don't embarrass yourself again, Jan. Play it cool. You're not an awkward, nerdy sixteen-year-old anymore. 

No, that was true. She was an awkward, nerdy woman in her thirties now. Such improvement. 

“The storm is really beating the coast, so we can’t get a doctor out here to check on you…”

“Jim,” Janice said, her voice hoarse and thick, “I feel like crap, but I don’t need a doctor.” She sighed and burrowed herself deeper into his embrace. “Well, yes, I do, but only one in particular. You. If you don’t mind?”

'Play it cool' and 'don't embarrass yourself again' just went out the window. Great job, Jan. Great job. 

“Mind? I never thought you’d ask,” he said. “I’m glad you did. I didn’t want to be the creepy twice -divorced middle-aged man coming on to a smart, pretty, young woman who could have anyone she wanted.”

“Pretty?” Janice said, gesturing to her face. “I’m a snotty, weepy mess, teeming with germs.”

“Yeah, well, you are a bit leaky at the moment,” Jim agreed, “but you’re still pretty.” He caressed her fever-flushed cheek and looked into her eyes, a serious expression on his face. “Whatever Susan said to you, it really hit you hard, didn’t it?”

Janice wasn’t going to lie about it. She was hurt, and she was angry. 

“Yes. Yes, it did.”

“Don’t listen to her about anything outside of the research project,” he said. “A piece of advice from someone who’s worked with her for seven years. She may not deliberately set out to do it, but she hurts people. Especially those who have a kind heart.”

“The weak ones,” Janice filled in with a self-deprecating smirk and a tired eyeroll, but Jim shook his head.

“No, kindness isn’t weakness. It’s often mistaken for it, but it takes one hell of a strong person to be kind in this day and age. It’s easier to be a cynic. I would know; I am. I think that’s why I’ve been drawn to you since I first met you. You’re strong enough to be kind.”

Janice had never heard anyone put it that way before, and if she hadn’t already been infatuated with him, she would have fallen head over heels right then.  

“It wasn’t very kind of me to call Susan a stupid bitch though,” she admitted.

Jim chuckled.

“Well… I suspect even saints lose their patience once in a while. Don't beat yourself up over it. So. I can tell the cold is bad, but how's the hangover?”

Janice groaned and leaned her head against his shoulder. 

"Oh man, I think my brain has disconnected from my body and plans on imploding in on itself."

He laughed, winced when his own headache decided his amusement was too much, and sighed. 

"You know, a hangover is just when you don't have enough fluids in your body to run the essential cycles." 

"UhhIGSSCHhIEW! Ugh... I think I have more than enough fluids in my body right now, ew," Janice said, wiping off some of said fluids into the tissues. "I'm so sorry, I'm so gross."

"Stop," Jim said gently. "Stop apologising for something that's not your fault, you're not gross, you're sick. Okay?"

Janice looked at him, bit her lip, and nodded. 

"Okay." 

"The hangovers, well, those we kinda deserve. Your cold on the other hand, that's just bad luck. I mean, unless you secretly sneak back to the mainland and lick doorhandles in the shopping mall or something."

Janice laughed and it quickly morphed into a heavy coughing fit. 

"Don't make me laugh, Jim, I swear to God, I'm gonna cough up my lungs," she wheezed as the fit was calming down. 

"Duly noted." He was quiet while Janice caught her breath and wiped her watery eyes. Once she settled back into his embrace, he started stroking her upper arm, slowly, soothingly, and before long, the petite woman leaning against him, was asleep. 

And snoring. Like a bear. 

Jim grinned to himself and knew he would never tell her that. She'd be mortified, and the past few days had already been rough in that regard for poor Jan.  

 

Edited February 5, 2022 by Chanel_no5
I forgot a B. How do you forget a B?

[Arvani]

I have no idea what movie this is from but it TOTALLY doesn’t matter! This is amazing and I love it!! 

[sneezemeister]

Loved this part so much!

[Purplelily]

Oh god. This pushed every single button. Every time I think your stories can’t get better, they do! Poor Jan, she really didn’t deserve what Susan said to her. I’m glad Jim came to give her a little comfort. It was wonderful! 

[Chanel_no5]

13 hours ago, Purplelily said:

Oh god. This pushed every single button. Every time I think your stories can’t get better, they do! Poor Jan, she really didn’t deserve what Susan said to her. I’m glad Jim came to give her a little comfort. It was wonderful! 

Aww, I'm so glad, thank you!! ❤️ Yeah, to be honest I felt really bad for poor Jan myself too, I wasn't sure where the fic would go but I think I have the whole idea now and Susan will get what she deserves... as will Janice. 😏 I think there will be two more parts. Stay tuned. 😉

19 hours ago, sneezemeister said:

Loved this part so much!

Thank you so much!! It really means a lot to me. ❤️

19 hours ago, Heathercd said:

I have no idea what movie this is from but it TOTALLY doesn’t matter! This is amazing and I love it!! 

Thank you so much!! It makes me so happy to hear that you enjoy it!! 😀😈 There is no need to know the movie, the fic has very little to do with it anyway. (I just wrote it because the actor playing Janice is so cute and the character seems to be deliciously sensitive... 😅)

[Mems]

I was so excited to see an update and you really just don’t disappoint, do you? The way you write these characters is just so sweet 😭❤️

[Chanel_no5]

15 hours ago, Mems said:

I was so excited to see an update and you really just don’t disappoint, do you? The way you write these characters is just so sweet 😭❤️

Well.... I don't know about that, I've disappointed many people in my life.  But hopefully this fic won't be a disappointment, at least.   I know how the story ends now, and I'm super excited to get to that part, but there will be at least one more part before that.   Thank you so much!