The Weight of the World(Criminal Minds, Hotch/JJ)

[24Me]

I wrote another Hotch/JJ fic-I can’t get enough of the two of them. This is set somewhere around season six and has very slight spoilers. There’s no sneezing in this part, just plot. 

 

 

It had been a long day, and a longer week. The team had just gotten back from Illinois where it had taken them nearly three weeks to apprehend an UNSUB abducting, torturing, and murdering couples from Chicago. The other teams at the BAU were working active cases, so there was a good chance Hotch and his team were going to be called away for a new case sooner rather than later. He was eager to get home and get some much needed sleep before that happened.

 

On the way out the door, he paused. The light in JJ’s office was still on, something that had been happening more and more frequently. She was staying as late, or later, than her unit chief and coming in before him. He checked his watch and frowned. They’d gotten back nearly four hours ago-any paperwork she might have had should have long been completed. He strode to her door and knocked. When there was no answer he knocked again, stomach clenching. Hesitantly, he eased the door open and found JJ asleep at her desk. He pulled a chair around and sat next to her. 

 

“JJ? JJ, wake up.” The blonde startled and sat bolt upright, immediately pressing a hand to her head and wincing as the light hit her eyes. 

 

“Hotch?” Her voice sounded hoarse and she quickly cleared her throat. “What...what are you doing here?” She seemed out of it, and his worry grew. 

 

“I saw your light was on and came to check on you. Are you alright?” She nodded and leaned forward, putting her head in her hands briefly before sitting up. 

 

“‘M fine. Must have been more tired than I thought.” She did look exhausted. Her skin was pale and her eyes looked heavy-the dark circles beneath them looked like bruises. She looked like she could barely stay upright, much less awake. 

 

“It’s late. You should be home already.” She shrugged and looked away but didn’t say anything. 

 

“I’m fine Hotch. I just have to finish up here and then I’ll head out.” Her boss shook his head. 

 

“Whatever you haven’t finished can wait until tomorrow. You need to rest.” JJ looked like she was about to argue, and then Hotch saw her shoulders slump as another wave of fatigue washed over her.

 

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll see you in the morning.” She made to stand and stumbled slightly, grabbing the desk for support. Hotch was on his feet in an instant and caught her arm. 

 

“Easy JJ. Are you sure you’re alright?” She nodded. 

 

“I’m fine Hotch. Just stood up too fast.” He nearly leveled her with a piercing gaze and then made a decision. 

 

“I’ll drive you home. You’re exhausted.” 

 

JJ wanted to fight him, she really did, but it was a fight she knew she’d lose and she was so freaking tired...so she made a halfhearted attempt. 

 

“How will I get here tomorrow?” Hotch narrowed his eyes slightly at that. 

 

“Can Will bring you?” He watched as she stiffened and immediately looked anywhere but at him. 

 

“He’s out of town.” Her voice was flat. Everything in him wanted to press her for  details, but Hotch could see the slump in her shoulders and the way she was nearly swaying from the severity of her fatigue, and he decided not to push the issue.

 

“Then I’ll pick you up in the morning.” JJ was silent for a moment before agreeing. 

 

“Thanks. I really appreciate it.” 

 

Admitting she needed help was so out of character for her, and the unit chief found him struggling to hold back his questions as they silently walked to the parking lot. JJ didn’t seem like herself at all, and hadn’t for weeks-she was quiet, withdrawn, and seemed run down all the time. Tonight was certainly as bad as he’d seen her, but he’d been concerned for while. 

 

The drive to JJ’s place was quiet. For her part, JJ didn’t have the energy to hold a conversation. Truthfully she was struggling to keep her eyes open. Her head was throbbing and she couldn’t wait to get home to bed-when she found herself jerking awake for the third time she decided it was probably for the best she wasn’t driving. 

 

It took a minute after the car stopped to register she was home, and she turned to look at her boss with bleary eyes. 

 

“Thanks for the ride Hotch. What time will you be here tomorrow?” She watched as his face creased in a frown. 

 

“Why don’t you sleep in a few hours tomorrow? I can come get you at 9-“ She shook her head. 

 

“I’m fine. Whenever you’re planning to go in, I’ll go in.” Hotch’s brow furrowed, and he sounded as if he were choosing his words carefully when he spoke next. 

 

“JJ, you’re burning yourself out. You have to get some rest.” JJ felt her temper flare and forced herself to count to ten before responding. 

 

“Sir, I’m fine. I can be ready at six.” He studied her for a moment before nodding. 

 

“I’ll be here at six. If you change your mind, just call me.” 

 

“Thanks Hotch.” The resolve in her voice had slipped away, leaving her sounding beaten down and defeated. She forced a smile before stepping out of the car and trudging slowly to the door. Hotch waited for a while after she got inside, mind spinning, before finally heading home himself. 

 

[lsbn]

Oooh, great start! I can’t wait to see where you’re heading with this 😍

[nothin2sneeze@]

I’m too looking forward to where this goes!

[sneezemeister]

This is great so far!

[sneezygirl97]

Omg I’m so excited to have new JJ/Hotch content 😍😍😍

[24Me]

Thank you all for your kind words! Here’s the next part. 

 

When her alarm went off five hours later, JJ seriously considered calling Hotch to take him up on his offer to let her sleep. Pride got in the way and she forced herself out of bed and through the motions of getting ready. Somehow, she felt even more exhausted than before she’d gone to bed, and a look in the mirror showed her she certainly didn’t look any better. Even makeup didn’t help. Still, she managed to get herself together and was waiting at the door by the time her boss pulled in at 5:55. As she climbed into the car, she realized her muscles were aching-it was difficult to muster any kind of smile but she did her best.   

 

“Thanks again for the ride, Hotch. I appreciate it.” He looked silently ahead for a moment before responding. 

 

“Did you get any sleep last night?” JJ stared at him, unsure of what to say.

 

“Yeah, I did.” She watched as his hands tightened on the wheel. It took a minute for him to gather his thoughts.

 

“I’m worried about you.” He finally broke the silence, and JJ turned to fully look at him. His body language was tense and his face was stormy-he meant what he was saying. 

 

“Hotch, I’m fine-“ When he cut her off, she realized he truly was worried. He made it a point to let his team members speak and be heard. 

 

“You haven’t been fine for weeks. You haven’t been yourself for weeks. You’re withdrawn, quiet, and you’re tired. I see it more every day you come to work and I am worried.” She didn’t know what to say to that, and sat in silence. Her unit chief took a breath and then continued speaking. “I don’t want to pry. I understand you have a right to your private life, and I’m not trying to profile you. I am here if there is anything I can do to help, even if that’s just listening.” 

 

JJ’s mind felt foggy and it was hard to come up with a response. 

 

“I’m sorry Hotch. I’ll do better.” He shook his head. 

 

“I’m not concerned about your work-I’m concerned about you.” It was then that they reached the parking lot. JJ had never been so relieved to exit the car. 

 

“Sir, I’m fine. Thank you for the ride, I’ll see you inside.” 

 

Hotch watched as she fled as quickly as her tired body could carry her. Whether or not JJ was ready to admit it, something was going on, and it killed him to have to stand on the sidelines watching as whatever it was consumed her. He gave his head a quick shake and climbed out of the car. He had a feeling it was going to be a long day. 

 

By 10, it was clear the team would be flying out. There was a brutal case outside of Milwaukee that urgently needed their attention-Hotch and Garcia were in agreement on that. He had hoped they would have another day at home so JJ could catch up on sleep, but had known it was a long shot. He stopped by her desk and saw that she looked even more exhausted than she had a few hours earlier. 

 

“Can I have a word?” Hotch asked quietly. JJ looked up and nodded, and Hotch could see how deep the shadows under her eyes were. He motioned for her to go first, and she trudged up the stairs to his office. Rather than sit down, she stood and looked expectantly at him. She didn’t appear all that steady on her feet, and he motioned to a chair. She all but sank into it and he took a moment before speaking. JJ broke the silence. 

 

“What did you need?” There was no trace of anger or impatience in her voice-it was just flat. The unit chief tried to choose his words carefully. 

 

“We have a case. I wanted to ask you if you’d like to stay behind.” JJ stared at him blankly. 

 

“Why would I want to do that?” He sighed-this wasn’t going to be easy. 

 

“JJ, you’re exhausted and I’m worried about you. You’ve been pushing yourself hard the last few weeks and it’s catching up to you now. I really think you need to rest.” 

 

“I can’t stay home Hotch. I can’t-I need to work right now. I’m tired but I’m okay to work.” He studied her and weighed the price of benching her. Finally, he gave a small dip of his head. 

 

“Alright. We’ll meet in the conference room in ten.” JJ thanked him and stood. When she was halfway to the door, she stopped and sneezed suddenly. 

 

“Ahhhfmshoo!” 

 

A stone dropped into his stomach. 

 

“Bless you. JJ-“

 

“I’m fine sir. I’ll meet you in the conference room.” He watched her go, suddenly doubting his decision to let her travel even more. 

 

The rest of the early afternoon was a whirlwind of briefing the team, air travel, and meeting with local law enforcement. It was quickly decided that they would split into teams: Prentiss and Reid would stay behind to work on victimology and a geographical profile, Rossi and Morgan would begin interviewing the families of the victims, and JJ and Hotch would head to the most recent dump site. Hotch had some hesitations about the last pairing. It was freezing outside, and he would have preferred to keep JJ in the warmth of the indoors. However, he was also aware that he needed to do what was best for the team, and these were the pairings that made the most sense for the case. It also allowed him to keep a watchful eye on JJ. 

 

It was frigid with the temperatures in the low teens and a constant wind that dropped the temperature even lower, and the sky was ominous. A winter storm was due to hit any time and the two profilers definitely felt the time constraints. The dump site was thankfully in a small clearing, which helped protect any evidence from the wind and also sheltered the two of them to an extent. They got to work immediately, Hotch examining the grave and JJ focusing her attention on the area around it. 

 

It wasn’t long before the cold began to get to JJ. Hotch could see her shiver periodically as she worked, but forced himself to focus. The faster they analyzed the scene, the faster he could get her home.

 

“Ah’tish’oo!” 

 

He frowned as a whispery sneeze broke the silence in the clearing, quickly followed by a wet sniffle. He glanced over at JJ, and saw her lower her wrist from beneath her nose. 

 

“Bless you.” She nodded her thanks and went back to examining the markings in the dirt by the tree line. 

 

“Hotch, look at these.” He stood and moved to her side, crouching down to get a better look before snapping a picture with his phone to send to Reid. 

 

“The same markings are right next to the grave. I wonder if it’s a symbol or code of some kind?” Hotch mused out loud. JJ nodded, and stood quickly to spin away from her boss as another sneeze shook her frame. 

 

“Ah’yish’oo!” 

 

This one didn’t come alone, and she kept her hands over her nose and mouth as her breath hitched. 

 

“Hhh...hhhh...hhh’entschoo!” 

 

“Bless you JJ. Are you alright?” Hotch asked, offering her his handkerchief. She nodded, blushing as she took the cloth gratefully. 

 

“I’m fine. Just a tickle.” He gave her a piercing look, but eventually turned back to the grave site. Snow was starting to fall, and he knew he needed to focus before evidence was lost. 

 

Truthfully, it was more than a tickle. She was pretty sure she’d caught a chill-she refused to admit even to herself that it wasn’t something that would resolve once she’d warmed up. The urge to sneeze was constantly present and her throat was beginning to itch as well, never mind the fact that it felt raw every time she swallowed. She tried to hold it back, but less than a minute later she sneezed three times in rapid succession. 

 

“Hhh’ISH’oo! Hhh’ESCH’oo! Hhh’ANGSCH’iew!” She sniffled desperately and blew her nose quietly into the handkerchief. She refused to make eye contact with her unit chief.

 

“Bless you JJ. You’re not alright.” JJ wanted to fight him on it, but found herself unable to stop shivering. 

 

“I’m a little chilled.” She admitted, following that statement up with a light cough. 

 

Hotch felt his concern grow. JJ sounded hoarse, and looked much worse than she had an hour ago. Bringing her out into the weather was a mistake. The snow was already sticking and anything they hadn’t found was going to be lost if it wasn’t already-it was time to call it. He was confident that, even sick and chilled, JJ had done a thorough job. 

 

“We need to get you inside. Come on.” He motioned for her to go in front of him, wanting to keep an eye on her on the way back to the SUV. His worry grew as he saw how stiffly she was moving. It looked difficult for her to walk, and he nearly ran into her as she stopped short to sneeze again. 

 

“HANGSCH’oo! Hhh’TISH’oo! Hhhh’ESH’ooo!...hhh...hhhGSH’uh!” She coughed into her elbow, and this time it sounded raspy and jagged. 

 

“Bless you. We’re almost there.” He took her elbow and guided her towards the car, feeling her trembling underneath his hand. The second they reached the SUV, he helped her into the passenger seat and then jogged around to start the car before climbing in. JJ positively shook as the vents dispelled cold air, and Hotch found himself unwilling to put the car in drive. They sat in silence as the air warmed, and her boss directed the vents her way. It took several minutes, but the wracking shivers eased off, leaving JJ with occasional shudders. Hotch then pulled onto the road and started towards the precinct. 

 

“You should have told me you were sick.” His voice was stern but level. JJ nodded, exhausted. 

 

“I didn’t know. It’s been a while since I felt okay.” Hotch looked at her sharply, then turned his attention back to the road. The quick glance had revealed that her cheeks were deeply flushed and her eyes were glazed-he strongly suspected a fever was what was allowing her to open up and he didn’t want to push her into admitting something she’d regret. That said, he wanted to know what she meant. 

 

“Physically?” She shrugged. 

 

“All of it.” Her voice was barely a whisper and she turned towards the window to cough again. Hotch felt a pit settle in his stomach. JJ had been through a lot-Emily’s return and the team’s subsequent dislike of her, being made a profiler, and whatever was going on in her personal life. 

 

“I’m here.” The words were spoken softly, but with feeling. JJ nodded, finding herself exhausted once again and struggling to stay awake. 

 

“I know.” 

 

They sat in silence again, broken only by an occasional cough or sniff from JJ, the rest of the way back to the station. When they pulled into the lot, Hotch turned to face his friend again. 

 

“You don’t have to stay. I can take you back to hotel to rest.” JJ shook her head.

 

“I’m fine-“ 

 

“You’re not. You’re sick and exhausted, and you shouldn’t be working right now-you’re going to make yourself worse.”

 

“Hotch, I’m not going to be able to sleep, not while this guy is still out there. Please, let’s just solve this.” 

 

Against his better judgement, Hotch nodded. 

 

“Ok. But you need to take something to bring your fever down.”

[sneezygirl97]

I really hope you continue this 🥰

[lsbn]

Yessss I love it! Thanks for posting more!!! 😍

[24Me]

Not the best update, but it’s something. The next few parts are the ones I’m most excited to write.

 

——————

 

Hotch kept a close eye on JJ when they returned to the station. It took some time for the ibuprofen to kick in, but the flush in her cheeks slowly faded and her eyes looked significantly less glassy when it finally did. She was still pale, but seemed more alert. The sneezing had settled down as well, which he took as a good sign. For the time being he let himself focus on the case, satisfied that JJ was able to work at the moment. 

 

It was a long night and Hotch didn’t call it until almost one in the morning. He knew lives were hinging on how quickly they solved the case, but he also knew his team needed sleep in order to function at their best. JJ, Rossi and Hotch took one SUV, and Reid, Morgan and Prentiss piled into the other. The second they were on the road, Rossi turned around and gave JJ an appraising glance. 

 

“How are you feeling kiddo?” It was hard to tell in the dark but Rossi was pretty sure the fevered flush was back in JJ’s cheeks, and she looked like she could collapse from exhaustion at any point. 

 

“I’m alright.” Her voice was congested and hoarse, and from the almost undetectable wince following her words, it hurt to talk. 

 

Hotch glanced back in the rear view mirror, trying to gauge her level of honesty.

 

“JJ, why don’t you meet us later tomorrow? You could use the extra sleep.” She sat up straighter at that.

 

“I’m fine Hotch. Thank you for the offer.” Rossi snorted. 

 

“You’re not fine, Jayje. You’re sick and there’s no denying that.” As if to prove his point, JJ pitched forward into the handkerchief Hotch had given her earlier. 

 

“Hhhhmmmfshoo! Hhh’emmfshoo!” Her head was spinning slightly after the two powerful sneezes,  not that she was keen to admit that. Rossi took note but didn’t press the issue. When she spoke, her voice had that flat sound to it again that Hotch had heard in his office. 

 

“I’m alright. I need to work Hotch.” 

 

Against his better judgement, Hotch nodded. He’d reevaluate in the morning but fighting her right now was just going to cause her to become more agitated, and he didn’t want to add any more stress to her life than was already there. The rest of the ride was quiet, aside from an occasional sniff or cough from JJ. When they finally pulled up at the hotel twenty minutes later, JJ wanted nothing more than to fall into bed and close her eyes. It took everything in her to climb out of the SUV and grab her bag from the back. Rossi motioned to it when he met her at the trunk.

 

“Want me to get that?” JJ shook her head. 

 

“Thank you though.” She all but whispered. The trio moved into the lobby and JJ found her nose began running almost immediately. She shifted the bag on her shoulder to try and gain access to the tissues in her pocket, Hotch’s handkerchief being all but useless, and managed to drop it instead. Hotch had it on his shoulder in an instant. She opened her mouth to argue and found herself on the receiving end of a mild glare. 

 

“I’ve got it.” She nodded her thanks and then ducked forward into the tissues with two powerful sneezes. “Hhh’entschoo! Hhh’gnmntschooo!” 

 

Hotch watched with a frown as they shook her whole body. JJ didn’t surface for a moment, and he realized why when she finally lowered the tissues. She looked dazed and vaguely dizzy, and he took a step closer in case she lost her balance. On her other side, Rossi did the same. 

 

“Salud.” 

 

“Bless you. Are you alright?” 

 

“Yeah.” She said quietly, and started towards the elevators. The two men exchanged glances and then followed her. 

 

Rossi’s room was in the opposite direction, and Hotch found himself alone in the hallway outside of JJ’s room. He tried again to get her to stay back.

 

“Are you sure you won’t stay back and get some rest? JJ, you look exhausted.” JJ shook her head. 

 

“I’ll see you in the lobby at 6. Goodnight Hotch.” He handed her her bag and watched her fumble momentarily with the keycard before getting her door open and stepping inside. 

 

“Goodnight.” He waited until the door closed, and was just turning away when he heard JJ sneeze. 

 

“HhhhYISHoo! HhhhGNTSCHoo! Hhhh...hhhAPSHoo!” The rattling cough coming from behind the door was hard to ignore, and he was tempted to knock again and try to reason with her. If he thought it would be effective, he’d have done it. 

 

A glance at his keycard revealed that his room was one down from JJ. He walked inside and got ready for bed, but realized sleep was going to be hard to come by with his mind racing as it was. It took about an hour, but by three, he managed to fall into a restless sleep. 

 

When his alarm went off at 5:10, he found himself feeling surprisingly well rested and awake. His mind was racing as he went through the motions of getting ready, a mix of thoughts about the case and worry for JJ. He decided to check in with her before the team met in the lobby-he was going to try one more time to convince her to stay back and get some rest. 

 

The door swung open a few moments after he knocked, and Hotch didn’t bother trying to hide the fact that he was scrutinizing JJ’s appearance. The fever flush had all but disappeared from her cheeks, which was a good thing. Aside from the redness around her nostrils, she could have simply passed for tired. He frowned as he took in the bags and bruise like shadows under her eyes-it didn’t look like she’d slept at all. 

 

“How are you feeling?” JJ shrugged.

 

“I’m okay.” Her voice shocked him-it had deepened drastically overnight. He felt that familiar pit in his stomach as JJ turned away to cough into her elbow. The sound was barking and judging from the expression on her face, it hurt. He waited until she’d caught her breath before responding. 

 

“JJ, I really think you should stay here today. I can come get you later if you’re up to it.” She shook her head. 

 

“Hotch, he’s taking kids.” Her voice was thick with emotion. “I can’t stay here knowing that.” 

 

The unit chief was torn. JJ was right-kids were the target and he needed all hands. He also knew there was very little chance she’d relax even if he ordered her to stay back, and he wanted to keep an eye on her. Something about her emotional state just wasn’t sitting right with him. He folded his arms across his chest and looked at her intently. 

 

“I’ll let you come, but I need you to be honest with me if you start feeling worse. You have to take care of your health or you’ll be of no use to anyone.” She flinched and he realized how harsh that had sounded. “JJ, I-“

 

“I understand.” She cut him off. “I’ll be fine. It’s almost six Hotch, we need to go.” He stepped aside and let JJ pass, at a loss for what to say. 

 

The drive to the precinct was silent, everyone too exhausted and lost in thought to carry a conversation. They got to work right away, and Hotch did his best to focus on the task at hand and not on JJ’s cold. He knew the sooner they solved this, the sooner he could get her home. That said, he took her illness into account as he divvied up the assignments for the day. He paired himself with Rossi, JJ with Reid at the station, and let Morgan and Prentiss continue gathering statements and run down any leads they lead to. He and Rossi headed to the morgue to get the forensics from the latest body drop.

 

They’d barely left the parking lot when Rossi spoke. 

 

“She looks like hell. She has for weeks.” The unit chief nodded. 

 

“I know. I’ve got an eye on her.” Rossi raised an eyebrow.  

 

“No, we have an eye on her. You’ve got both.” Hotch had to concede that was the case. He was struggling to focus on the matter at hand with JJ’s health.

 

“You think I should bench her?” Rossi shook his head. 

 

“Even sick, she’s got insight we need to solve this. And she’s not going to rest until this guy is put away-you and I both know that.” Those were Hotch’s thoughts, but it helped to hear them from someone else. “Just be there. Be a friend, be a boss. Trust your instincts.” Hotch nodded. 

 

“That’s my intention.” 

 

It felt like the day got them nowhere. Pathology and geographic profiling were dead ends, there was little helpful evidence from the scenes, and statements from family and friends revealed no obvious connections between the victims. Hotch and Rossi didn’t return to the precinct until almost 7pm, right around the same time Morgan and Prentiss did. The whole team felt the weight of the frustration and helplessness that went along with feeling no progress had been made. After briefing Morgan and Prentiss on their findings, or lack there of, Hotch headed to the conference room where JJ and Reid were to get them up to speed. He walked in and was surprised to see Reid was alone. 

 

“Reid, where’s JJ?” Spencer shrugged, never taking his eyes off the board.

 

“I couldn’t focus. She went somewhere else.” Hotch felt irritation flare and forced himself to stay calm. Reid processed best with minimal distraction, and the sounds of JJ’s illness would have been a distraction to him. It was best for the case that he be fully focused. He sighed.

 

“We didn’t come up with much today. Take a break and get something to eat. It’s going to be a long night.” Reid nodded, the only sign he’d heard his boss, and Hotch left to go find JJ. 

 

She was sitting in an empty office, a tissue clutched in her hand and a file in the other. He doubted she was retaining any of it-she looked ready to fall asleep sitting up. 

 

“How are you doing?” JJ jumped in her seat and turned to face him with an almost guilty expression on her face. 

 

“I’ve barely made any progress-I can’t find any connection-“ Her voice broke and she coughed hard into her elbow. Hotch winced at the sound. 

 

“We’re in the same boat. How are you feeling?” 

 

“I’m fine.” She didn’t even pause before answering, staring at the file in her hand in an effort to avoid eye contact. Hotch studied her for a minute before deciding to let the matter drop. Apart from the obvious fatigue, she looked a little better than she had that morning. He was hopeful that was a good sign. 

 

He debated whether or not to order her back to the hotel when it became clear that it would be another late night. They were making little progress with the case and he was wrestling with prioritizing her physical health, or focusing his attention on the missing children. Around 11, he went to check on her and found her in decent shape still, so he reluctantly turned his focus onto the case and allowed her to stay. They worked until nearly two before Hotch had had enough. They were making no progress and it was unlikely anyone would be able to think clearly without a little sleep. He gathered the team in the precinct bullpen. 

 

“We’ll meet in the lobby again at 6am tomorrow. I know these are long days, but we all know time is of the essence. Get as much sleep as you can.” 

 

He scanned the team while he was talking. Everyone seemed in pretty good shape-maybe a little tired, but otherwise alright. His eyes settled on JJ and he didn’t like what he saw. She was white faced again and looked wiped out. As the team began to file out, he saw her turn and muffle a harsh set of sneezes in her elbow. 

 

“Hhhh’etsch’oo! Hhh’engsh’oo!” Hotch saw her sway slightly before she leaned against the wall, and was across the room in an instant. 

 

“JJ?” She looked up at his voice. 

 

“I’m ok-just got a little dizzy.” Her boss nodded, concern mounting again. 

 

“Let’s get you back to the hotel. You need to get some rest.”

 

[sneezygirl97]

I’m so excited you’re continuing this 😍

Quick question, just so I can manage my expectations (🙈😅), is there going to be a romantic element to JJ and Hotch’s relationship in this story or is that not something you imagine for this story?

[sneezemeister]

Oh man, I love this! JJ is my favorite character from criminal minds.

[doglover111]

JJ is my absolute favorite. Normally I’m into stifles but I love anything involving her.

[24Me]

On 5/22/2022 at 11:21 AM, sneezygirl97 said:

I’m so excited you’re continuing this 😍

Quick question, just so I can manage my expectations (🙈😅), is there going to be a romantic element to JJ and Hotch’s relationship in this story or is that not something you imagine for this story?

I don’t think there will be a romantic element, I hadn’t actually considered it! I’ll see how the story progresses.  

On 5/23/2022 at 12:12 AM, sneezemeister said:

Oh man, I love this! JJ is my favorite character from criminal minds.

All my knowledge of the show is based on fan fiction found here on the forum but I love the dynamic between her and Hotch that others have written! 

 

On 5/28/2022 at 1:40 PM, doglover111 said:

JJ is my absolute favorite. Normally I’m into stifles but I love anything involving her.

I’ll keep that in mind for future stories! 

 

The next morning came far too quickly for Hotch’s liking. So far, the other team members and himself weren’t feeling the impact of sleep deprivation too deeply, but it was definitely there. He knew they needed to make headway that day before they all got too tired, and that pressure, coupled with the pressure of trying to prevent another abduction, was weighing on the unit chief heavily. A phone call from the police chief took him right up to 5:59, leaving him just enough time to meet his team on time but not enough to check in privately with JJ. He cast a glance at her before addressing the team but couldn’t catch her eye. 

 

“Another child went missing around 4am today. Rossi and Prentiss, you’re going to be interviewing the family. Morgan and Reid, I want you at the station trying to find a connection between the victims and building a geographic profile. JJ, you and I are going to meet the pathologist and try to find any forensics tying us to the UNSUB. Let’s move.” 

 

They split up into the two vehicles, Hotch and JJ in one and the rest of the team in the other. The two of them sat in silence for several minutes before JJ jolted forward with several rapid sneezes. 

 

“Hhh’gtsch’oo! Hhh’epsh’oo! Hhh...hhh’engsch’oo!” She sniffled several times before pulling a tissue from her pocket and blowing her nose as quietly as possible. 

 

“Bless you.” Hotch said quietly, watching as she leaned heavily against the seat following the small fit. 

 

“Thank you.” He cringed at the sound of her voice. It was fading fast, and there was significantly more congestion present than the day before. He shot her a concerned look as she coughed, a rough sounding cough that shook her whole body. “Sorry Hotch. I’m ok.” 

 

Hotch felt his hands tighten on the wheel. JJ looked like the weight of the world was on her shoulders and was as sick as he’d ever seen a member of his unit, and he was tired of hearing her say she was okay. 

 

“Please be honest with me-how are you feeling?” JJ took a moment before answering. 

 

“Sick, but I can work.” He appreciated her honesty but was concerned that she was willing to admit she was feeling badly-that meant she was worse off than he’d assumed. The fever flush was faintly present again and he could tell that she was worse than the day before. 

 

“If that changes, let me know.” His voice was serious, and JJ nodded before they lapsed into silence again. 

 

The meeting got them nowhere, and while they were in it they got a call from Morgan saying the missing child had been discovered dead. Hotch dropped JJ off at the station and had her take Morgan’s place while the two men headed to the dump site. The temperatures were still frigid, and he didn’t want her outside if it wasn’t absolutely necessary. 

 

The day flew by, and they didn’t return to the station until almost 7. Everyone else had already returned and were pouring over every piece of evidence they had. Hotch noted right away JJ wasn’t with the others-most likely in an effort to keep whatever germs she could to herself. Contagion was always a real possibility when the team was overtired and in close quarters, and he was well aware she was cognizant of that. He found her in the same conference room she’d been in before. She was facing away from the door while reviewing one of the files, and he didn’t have a clear view of her face. He cleared his throat, causing her to startle before turning to face him. Immediately, the unit chief kicked himself for not checking in on her during the day. 

 

JJ’s face was flushed a bright red and her eyes looked heavy and glazed. She opened her mouth to say something and coughed instead, curling in on herself slightly as the spasms wracked her body. The fit finally eased off, and JJ made a small noise of pain, wincing as she caught her breath. That did it for Hotch. 

 

“I’m taking you back to the hotel.” His voice was stern and severe. JJ shook her head. 

 

“I can work-“ Her voice was barely a whisper and she coughed again, placing a hand on her throat as she did. Hotch crossed his arms and leveled her with his gaze. 

 

“This is not up for discussion. You are in no shape to be working right now and I’m putting my foot down-you have got to get some rest.” To his surprise, JJ didn’t fight him on it-she just nodded and began to gather her things. For a moment he felt a sense of relief. Then, he noticed her hands were shaking as she struggled to pick up the files and place them in her bag. He moved to her side and ducked down to catch her eye just as a tear splashed down her cheek, others quickly following. Any worry he’d been feeling multiplied and he quickly changed course. His voice was gentle when he spoke. “JJ, what’s wrong?” 

 

She shook her head, covering her face with her hands as she tried to regain control. Hotch placed a hand on her shoulder and she began crying in earnest, hoarse sobs shaking her shoulders. He quickly turned and shut the door before returning to her side, unsure of what to do next. 

 

“Please talk to me.” His voice was low and pleading. It took a minute before JJ was able to gather herself enough to respond, lowering her hands and wrapping them around her body. 

 

“I’m a failure.” She whispered, refusing to meet his eyes. Her boss wasn’t quite sure he’d heard her right-there was no way she’d said what he thought she did. 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that?” He said, leaning in closer to hear her better. Her whole body was trembling when she answered him. 

 

“I’m a f-failure.” She said again, and this time there was no mistaking what she’d said. He stood in stunned silence as she continued speaking. “I’m failing as a wife, I’m failing as mother, and now I can’t even do my damn job. God I’m sorry Hotch.” 

 

He was not the touchy feely type. Rarely did he give more than a pat on the back of a handshake. Now, he didn’t hesitate before wrapping his arms around JJ as she cried. He could feel her stiffen before relaxing into the hug, her whole body shaking with sobs as he held her. 

 

“You are not a failure JJ. Not here, not at home.” His voice was a low rumble but she only cried harder at his words. He could feel the heat coming through her shirt and knew now was not the time to press her for answers, much as he wanted to. Instead, he lowered his head so it was close to hers and just let her cry. After several minutes he heard her breath catch and she jerked against him with a poorly stifled sneeze. 

 

“Hhh’ngxtch!” She quickly pushed away and sneezed again. “Hhhh’engsch’oo! Hhh’etsch’oo! Hhhh’esch’oo!” Hotch frowned and placed his hand on her shoulder, offering her a blessing and his handkerchief. He was thankful to have brought more than one on this case. JJ took it gratefully as the fit continued. Each sneeze shook her small frame-they sounded harsh and exhausted. “Hhh’emfsh’oo! Hhh’ammmfsh’oo! Hhmmmmmfsh’oo! Hhh...hhhh’ampfsh’oo!” A final breathless sneeze ended the fit, and JJ blew her nose, coughing several times before lowering the handkerchief. Her face was even more flushed than it had been, and she looked as dazed and exhausted as Hotch had ever seen her. 

 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, and Hotch wrapped an arm around her shoulders again. 

 

“JJ...” he trailed off, unsure of what to say. “It’s alright. Please let me take you back to the hotel.” She nodded her assent, and he could see the defeat in her posture. Hotch lifted her bag onto his shoulder and guided her out of the room, arm around her waist for support. Her gait was unsteady, which he suspected was caused by both the fatigue and her significant fever. They stopped at the door and Hotch wordlessly helped her into her coat, buttoning it for her as it became clear her hands were to shaky to do it, before slipping into his own. They were mercifully alone, something he was thankful for. The last thing JJ needed were prying eyes at that point. It wasn’t until they were in the SUV and the heat was on that Hotch pulled out his phone to call Rossi. He picked up on the first ring. 

 

“Rossi.”

 

“It’s me.” Hotch tried to keep his voice unreadable but was sure his mentor could hear how rattled he was. “I’m taking JJ back to the hotel. She’s in bad shape.” 

 

Rossi sighed on the other end. 

 

“Good. She needs to get some rest. What aren’t you telling me?” Hotch stole a glance at JJ, who was looking out the window with a blank stare. 

 

“I’m going to stay with her for a while. Can you handle this for the night?” He could practically see Rossi’s brain putting the prices together. 

 

“You got it. We’ll finish up here and then head back to the hotel. Keep me posted on tomorrow.” Hotch felt a weight come off his shoulders as he realized Rossi was offering to run point the next day as well, if needed. 

 

“Thanks Dave. Will do.” He hung up and stole another glance at JJ. She really didn’t look well. “Do you need anything? I can stop at a drugstore.” He wasn’t sure she’d heard him at first, and was about to ask again when she spoke. 

 

“You don’t need to stay.” Her voice was thick with congestion and so quiet it barely counted as a whisper. His stomach clenched at how sad she sounded.

 

“I care about you.” His own voice was quiet, and he kept his eyes on the road as he spoke. “You are struggling, and you shouldn’t be alone right now.” A glance to the passenger side revealed tears slipping down her cheeks again, and he took one hand off the wheel and placed it over hers that were twisting in her lap. They stilled under his touch.

 

“Thank you.” He shook his head. 

 

“There’s nothing to thank me for. You’re part of this team JJ. We look out for each other.” He could feel her hands trembling and felt helplessness wash over him. His earlier gut feeling that something was wrong had been correct-JJ had clearly been struggling for a while, far more than he’d suspected, and she was incredibly fragile now. He took a breath, trying to figure out what to say next. In the end, he came up empty, and let the silence between them hang. He didn’t take his hand off of hers. 

 

When they pulled up to the hotel, JJ sat up and moved her hands away. Hotch couldn’t explain the feeling that washed over him as they lost contact. Every time he felt they were making some sort of progress, JJ shut down and pulled away again emotionally. 

 

“You don’t have to come in Hotch. You should get back to the others.” He studied her intently, noting that she was holding back tears again. 

 

“Rossi’s running point. They can do without me there.” She was quiet for a moment, twisting her hands in her lap again. 

 

“Hotch, seriously, you should go back to the station. This case is what matters. I’m fine.” The way her voice shook told him she was anything but fine, and Hotch closed his eyes for a moment before responding.

 

“Look at me.” She shook her head, wrapping her arms around her waist again and continuing to stare out the window. He reached out again and placed a hand on her shoulder, hating how she flinched. “JJ, please look at me.” She slowly turned her head, and he could see her lips trembling as she fought to hold it together.  “The case is not what matters to me right now. You are. You are sick, and exhausted, and you’ve been struggling for a long time. I’m not going anywhere tonight.” 

 

That was all it took for JJ to break down. She leaned forward, head in her hands as she cried. Hotch didn’t hesitate, shifting in his seat so he was closer to her before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into him. She resisted at first but eventually relaxed into his touch. He tightened his hold when she did, trying to communicate everything through touch that he couldn’t with words. They sat there for a while before JJ began to calm down. Her breathing leveled out and her muscles relaxed. Hotch moved one of his hands to check her temperature and frowned at how high it was. 

 

“We need to get you upstairs. You have to take something to get your fever down.” JJ nodded and sat up, moving almost in slow motion as she unbuckled her seat belt. Hotch got out quickly and was at the passenger side when JJ opened her door, offering her a hand as she stepped out of the car. She swayed when her feet hit the ground and he steadied her. 

 

It was slow progress getting to JJ’s room. As soon as they got inside, JJ sank onto the bed, unable to remain on her feet any longer. Hotch pulled a chair across from her but didn’t sit down right away. Instead, he took a bottle of water from the mini fridge, then moved back to JJ. 

 

“Do you have any meds in your bag?” He asked. She shook her head.

 

“They’re in the bathroom.” He found them easily and brought back the bottle of ibuprofen, taking the cap off before offering it to her. She took two and swallowed them with a sip of water. He frowned as he realized she didn’t have a thermometer-he needed to see how high her fever was. “Why don’t you get changed? I’ll be right back.” JJ nodded robotically and Hotch stood, taking her keycard from the nightstand before exiting the room. It didn’t take him long to go back to his room and take the thermometer he always carried for moments like this from his bag. He knocked gently on her door. 

 

“JJ, can I come in?” 

 

“Yeah.” He heard her start coughing as soon as the word was out and quickly let himself into the room. She was sitting on the bed again, this time in pajama pants and a sweatshirt. He handed her the water bottle and she took several sputtering sips before managing to halt the fit. Hotch sat down in the chair and handed her the thermometer. 

 

“I want to check your temperature.” She slipped it under her tongue and waited until it beeped, pulling it out then and reading the number.

 

“102.3.” Hotch had been expecting a fever, but the number still unsettled him. He did his best to conceal his worry. 

 

“The meds will kick in soon. Why don’t you try to get some rest?” JJ nodded and slipped under the covers, but he noted she was still shivering. “Are you cold?” 

 

“I’m okay.” She whispered, but he was already on his feet and grabbing another blanket from the closet, shaking it out before tucking it gently around her. He returned to the bathroom and wet a washcloth, hoping the coolness would help lower her fever and help the headache he knew she must have. He sat down again and placed it on her forehead. Her eyes flew open and he realized he’d startled her.

 

“It’s okay-I’m just trying to get your fever down.” Her eyes drifted closed again before she forced them open. 

 

“You should go...the team...” She was half asleep as she tried one last time to get him to leave, but Hotch just flipped the washcloth before sitting back again. 

 

“I’m not going anywhere.” He repeated. “The team is fine. Just get some sleep. I’ll be right here.” She finally let her eyes close and Hotch stretched to turn off the light. He heard JJ gasp suddenly and flipped it back on. She was staring straight ahead, body rigid. “It’s okay, I’m here.” He said quietly. “I’ll leave the light on.” Still, she didn’t relax. He stood up and shifted so he was sitting next to her on the bed before placing his hand on her shoulder. Slowly, he moved it up and down as he made eye contact with her. “You’re okay JJ. I’m right here.” Slowly, her eyes drifted shut. He continued to run his hand up and down her arm long after her breathing evened out. 

 

He sat beside her for almost an hour, waiting until he was sure she was asleep before moving back into the chair. His mind was racing, thoughts of the case and worry for JJ battling for space. JJ was his main concern though. So far, she’d only hinted at what was going on, but he was beginning to strongly suspect what the trouble was at home. He hoped for her sake he was wrong, but his own experiences gave him a gut feeling about the state of her marriage. The fact that she felt like she was failing the team was another concern. He knew things had been a whirlwind the last few months, between Emily’s return and her being made a profiler, but he’d thought they were finally reaching stable ground. Looking back, he realized JJ hadn’t been the same since she’d had to carry the weight of that secret with him. It had all but destroyed her relationship with Reid, damaged her friendship with Morgan, and even Garcia hadn’t fully come around until the last few weeks. Add that to whatever was happening outside of work, and he realized JJ had been carrying a heavy burden without much support. 

 

 Hotch was jerked out of his thoughts when JJ let out a low groan. In the dim light he could clearly see the worry lines on her forehead and how her brows were drawn together-even in sleep she looked distraught. She moaned again, tossing her head from side to side, and he was on his feet before even realizing what he was doing. He sat down on the side of the bed again, placing a hand on JJ’s head and smoothing her hair back. She cried out in her sleep and he realized she was having a nightmare. Gently, he shook her shoulder to try to wake her. JJ sat bolt upright with a gasp and dissolved into a fit of coughing. This one didn’t seem to want to pass. She looked wildly around, trying to get to her feet even as her face grew red from exertion. Hotch placed his hands on her shoulders in an effort to calm her.

 

“JJ, you’re alright. You need to calm down, you’re safe. It’s okay.” He could see the moment the fear left her eyes and she realized where she was.

 

“The boys-has he taken more boys?” She asked, coughing hard again. Hotch shook his head, keeping one hand on her shoulder and handing her the water bottle with the other. She took a sip gratefully, and the fit began to slow. When she’d caught her breath, Hotch answered her question more fully.

 

“There are no new victims. You’ve only been asleep for an hour, Rossi has everything under control.” 

 

JJ leaned back against the pillows, relief evident on her expression. Hotch felt her forehead and was pleased that she felt a little cooler than she had-the meds were starting to kick in. 

 

“Okay.” She whispered, but made no move to go back to sleep. Hotch stayed quiet and stoic in the chair beside her, hoping she’d relax enough to sleep soon.

 

“You should go.” Her rough voice broke the silence almost 15 minutes later. Hotch frowned and looked at her. She seemed so vulnerable lying there under the pile of blankets. 

 

“It’s okay. The team is fine without me.” JJ moved her head slightly on the pillow. 

 

“No, I mean you should go back to your room. You’re not going to sleep if you stay in that chair all night.” 

 

“That’s not my concern right now-“

 

“It should be. Hotch, they’ll need you tomorrow and they need you at your best. Please just go. I’ll be fine.” He was torn. On one hand, JJ was right. He was starting to feel the exhaustion creeping in and knew an all nighter wasn’t the best option. On the other, leaving her didn’t feel right at all. He could see her becoming more and more distressed though as he sat there. Finally, he sighed and stood up.

 

“Okay. But I’m right next door if you need anything.” 

 

It took everything in him to leave the room, and he paused at the door when JJ began to cough again. She waved him off, and he reluctantly exited into the hallway. It took a long time before he was finally able to shut his mind down and fall asleep.

[Oolia]

This is SO GOOD! I don't even watch this show but I've always been a fan of JJ/Hotch fics on the forum haha. So glad you are too and decided to write one! Can't wait for the next part 🥰

[Heather]

Sooo good!!

[justaquirkygirl]

I am loving this! Can’t wait for more!

[stars123]

This is amazing!!!! Can’t wait for the next part 😍

[24Me]

Sorry for the delay in updating! The next part is in progress so hopefully it won’t take so long to put up. Thank you all for your encouragement and kind words.  

 

 

 

Hotch had had every intention of benching her, but her persistence and the nature of the case had weakened his resolve. In the end, it was JJ who put the pieces together and found the meaning of the symbols, which led them to the UNSUB. Letting her work turned out to be the right call for the case, though not necessarily for her health. 

 

He’d done his best to let her work without interference, understanding her drive to contribute to solving the case, but the team leader was seriously questioning that decision now as they geared up for a takedown. JJ looked wrecked. Her nose and cheeks were flushed a deep red while the rest of her face was nearly colorless, and it was impossible to miss the way her hands shook as she tried to tighten the buckles on the side of her vest. He crossed the room in quick strides and put a hand on her shoulder, making her jump. 

 

“Let me help you with those.” JJ nodded, not trusting her voice to speak, and turned slightly so her boss had easier access. Unconsciously, she passed a trembling hand over her face in an effort to pull herself together. It didn’t go unnoticed, and sealed Hotch’s decision. “JJ, I want you to stay in the car for this one.” He held up a hand as she started to protest. “I would rather you stay here, but I understand why you want to be there. We both know that you’re in no shape to be in the field right now though.” JJ closed her eyes, fighting to keep her composure. 

 

“Hotch, I’m alright. It’s just a cold.” The glare she received with that statement almost leveled her and she retracted her previous words. “Ok. I’ll stay in the car.” She started to walk away and was surprised when Hotch spoke up. 

 

“This isn’t a punishment JJ. You’ve been fighting this all week and you’ve done exceptional work. You can help process the scene, but I can’t have you on a raid with a fever.” She nodded and regretted it as the movement caused the tingle in her sinuses to spike. 

 

“Thaahnk you-eeh’tsch’ooh! HhENGSGoo! Hhh...hhh’TSCHuh!” The small fit was quickly followed by a jagged, raspy string of coughs and she cringed as they tore at her throat. When she finished, she found Hotch gazing at her intently. 

 

“Bless you. JJ-“

 

She cut him off, knowing time was of the essence and not eager to hear whatever he had to say. 

 

“I’m alright Hotch. Let’s just catch this sonofabitch.” 

 

The drive to the UNSUB’s home seemed to take hours, and Hotch found himself torn between worrying about JJ and devoting his attention to the impending raid. He found himself giving his head a little shake to clear his thoughts-he had to put the safety of his team ahead of JJ and trust that she could look out for herself. They stopped about a quarter mile from the house to maintain the element of surprise. Hotch reached back and handed JJ a radio, his face serious. 

 

“We will call you when the scene is contained. You are not to leave this car for any reason. Do you understand?” JJ nodded, and Hotch looked at the rest of his team before sending them out. “Let’s go.”

 

The takedown was seamless, and the scene was secured within minutes of entering. Hotch radioed for JJ as soon as it was, knowing she’d be anxious to know what was going on. 

 

“The scene is secure JJ.” A moment later, the radio in his hand crackled to life. 

 

“I’m on my way.” 

 

He waited for her on the porch, wanting to assess her condition before allowing her to begin processing the scene. She looked spent when she arrived, trying and failing to muffle a harsh cough as he watched. 

 

“Are you sure you’re up for this? You don’t sound well.” The blonde nodded, trying not to look as tired as she felt. 

 

“I’m good Hotch. I can rest when we’re done.” 

 

Reluctantly, Hotch allowed her inside and directed her to start bagging the dining room. He was in the adjoining kitchen with Morgan, doing his best to keep his eye on his friend while also doing his job. JJ seemed to be holding her own at first, but it wasn’t long before the coughs and sneezes started coming more frequently. 

 

“Ahhhktscheew! Hhhtschoo! Hhhhgtschoo!” A drawn out, desperate trio of sneezes had Hotch looking up from the evidence he was bagging. 

 

“JJ, why don’t you take a break?” He suggested, noting that her face was pale other than the bright splotches on her cheeks and a raw looking nose. 

 

“I’m okay.” She croaked, voice filled with congestion. Hotch frowned. She really didn’t sound well. He didn’t fight her, but kept a closer eye on her as they continued working. At least, he thought he was keeping an eye on her and he did-for about half an hour. Before long he became engrossed in the job again. He didn’t realize how long it had been since he’d checked in on her until Morgan put down his evidence bag and walked across the room to stare his boss down. 

 

“Hey man, JJ doesn’t look so good.” Morgan said, arms crossed. Hotch looked up and got a clear view of JJ’s face-the flush had spread, deepened, and even from a distance he could see the sweat breaking out across her forehead. 

 

“Can you finish up here?” He asked in a low voice, putting his evidence bag down and stripping off his gloves at the same time. Morgan nodded. 

 

“You got it boss.” 

 

Hotch closed the gap between himself and his sick colleague with a few long strides. JJ looked up and Hotch could see the defeat in her eyes-she’d been running on fumes for days and it had finally caught up to her. 

 

“You’re feeling worse, aren’t you?” He asked in a low voice. She nodded slowly, coughing roughly into her elbow before she could answer. 

 

“I really don’t feel well.” It took a lot for her to admit that, but she was rapidly getting worse as the adrenaline wore off. That settled it for Hotch. 

 

“Prentiss?” He called. She looked up from her spot on the living room floor, concern written all over her face as she took in JJ’s appearance. “Can you finish up in here when you’re done? I’m taking JJ back to the hotel.”

 

“Not a problem. Feel better, Jayje.” JJ nodded and stripped off her gloves after carefully placing what she’d gathered on the table. Hotch shot Prentiss a grateful glance and then led JJ out the front door. The cold air made her nose itch, and she doubled over with a pair of wet sneezes. 

 

“Hhhhngshoo! Hhhentschoo!” They were immediately followed by the all too familiar cough that had settled into her chest. Hotch winced internally at the sound. 

 

“Bless you.” He saw the exhaustion in her features and posture as she recovered and made a decision. “You should wait inside. I’ll bring the car up.” JJ nodded, way too tired to fight him. Rossi was waiting for her inside the door.

 

“I thought you were headed back to the hotel?” He said, reaching out and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. 

 

“Yeah. Hotch is bringing the car up here.” 

 

“Smart man.” Rossi’s tone was light, but he was concerned. He knew JJ had pushed herself too hard on this case and didn’t like that she had to pay the price now. They stood in silence, save for the occasional sniff or cough from JJ, until headlights shone through the window. Rossi walked her out and helped her climb into the passenger seat. “Get rest. You did good work, kiddo.” JJ forced a smile at that. 

 

“Thanks for handling things here Dave.” Hotch said. He didn’t want to leave JJ and was grateful he wouldn’t have to. His mentor waved him off. 

 

“Take care of our girl.” With that, Hotch turned the car around and headed back down the long driveway towards the road. The warmth of the car made JJ’s nose run, and it wasn’t long before she pitched forward with another series of wet sneezes that she muffled into a handful of tissues. 

 

“Ahhhmfshoo! Hhhmmfshoo! Hhhhhgschoo!....hhhgtschoo! Hhhhneshoo! Hhhmmmfshoo!”

 

Hotch shot her a worried look from the drivers side. The cough that followed was bronchial-he was willing to bet it was as painful as it sounded. His hands tightened on the steering wheel as he tried to decide whether or not to take her to a hospital. JJ seemed to read his mind and did her best to put him at ease. 

 

“I’m okay Hotch. It’s just a bad cold.” She croaked. He shook his head, trying to suppress the worry and frustration he was feeling. He’d tolerated her downplaying her symptoms during the case because he’d needed her on the job and he’d needed to believe she was okay to allow that. Now his friend was dearly paying the price for his decision to let her work and he was sick of hearing her say she was okay when she so clearly wasn’t, physically or emotionally. 

 

“This is way past a cold and you know it.” His voice was deep and terse, and JJ shrank into herself a little. Hotch rarely grew angry with his team but he was verging on anger now. Even in the dark car she could see how tense his muscles were and the tightness in his jaw. 

 

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, tears springing to her eyes. Her nose prickled and she barely managed to bring the tissues in her lap to her nose in time to catch a trio of wet sneezes. “Hhh’ttsch’oo! Hhhh’ngsch’oo! Aaahpshiew!” They tore at her tender throat and she made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a whimper before blowing her nose. 

 

Hotch listened to her struggle and felt his anger dissipate into concern again. That concern grew when he realized she was fighting back tears.  He tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he realized raising his voice had most likely contributed to that.

 

“I’m sorry Hotch. I’m a mess.” JJ said quietly, swiping at her cheeks ineffectively. Her boss shook his head.

 

“You’re hurting. There’s a difference.” His voice was gentle and only made it harder to keep her composure. She took a shaky breath and pressed her fingers to her lips, trying to stay in control. Hotch sensed how uncomfortable she was but couldn’t keep quiet any longer. Saying he was worried for his fellow agent wasn’t getting him anywhere, and he wanted answers. “JJ, please let me in. Is there something going on at home? Are you okay?” He stressed the last word, unsure of how to even define it at this point. 

 

“I’m fine.” 

 

Hotch took a breath and weighed what he was going to say next carefully. Several minutes passed in silence before Hotch spoke. 

 

“You’ve been dealing with a lot the last few months.” Her head snapped up and her eyes met his. He could see that she was guarded, but he kept going. “You went through hell when Emily was gone. You went through it again when she came back. You have been trying to adjust to a new position while also trying to gain everyone’s trust back.” 

 

“I’m fine.” JJ repeated quietly, her voice tight. Hotch shook his head. 

 

“You aren’t. I don’t expect you to be. And I should have seen that you weren’t fine long before now. I told you in Quantico I’d seen you struggling for weeks. I realize now it’s been longer than that.”JJ closed her eyes, trying to keep her emotions in check, and Hotch placed his hand on hers as he continued. His voice was soft when he spoke again. “I know the signs of trouble at home-“ Her eyes flew open.

 

“Stop.” 

 

“You’ve said some things over the last few days that I can’t ignore. JJ, you don’t have to go through this alone.” She pulled her hand away abruptly and turned her head out the window, staying silent for a minute before answering in that same flat tone he’d heard so often during the case. 

 

“I’m fine because if I tell you I’m not fine, you’re going to be there and you’re going to be supportive. If you’re supportive I’m going to open up and if I open up I’m going to fall apart completely.” She broke off and swiped angrily at the tears streaming down her cheeks. “Hotch, I just can’t do this. I can’t fall apart now, not in front of you. Not like this, not here. Please, please let it drop.” Her voice shook  with every word and it took every ounce of restraint Hotch had not to reach for her again, and to not keep pushing. 

 

“Okay.” He finally said. “But when you’re ready, I’ll be there.” JJ nodded. 

 

“Thank you-ehetsch’oo! Hhh’entsch’oo! Hhh’ish’oo!” Her sneezing brought him back to reality, and he put the car back in drive.

 

“Bless you. Right now let’s just focus on getting you well.” 

 

“Okay.” JJ sighed. She was still uncomfortable having the attention focused on her, but was also grateful that her boss cared so much. Hotch’s compassion seemed almost out of character-sure, he kept that same stoic, stern expression on his face, but the fact he’d tried to stay with her the night before, and was driving her home/to the hotel  for the third time was not a normal occurrence. That, coupled with the fever, had her head spinning. It was not a good feeling and she leaned back in her seat, breathing as deeply as she could through the congestion. Deep breathing made her cough again, and Hotch looked over in concern. 

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“Lightheaded.” She admitted when the coughing had passed. Her stomach was also beginning to feel unsettled, but she wasn’t willing to admit that. JJ closed her eyes and tightened her grip on the armrests, trying to keep her composure. She felt very vulnerable and didn’t like it. 

 

Hotch sensed that she was uncomfortable and stayed quiet, though he didn’t like the sweat breaking out across her face. He doubted she was too warm given that she was still shivering slightly. It was hard to assess her fully and stay focused on the road, and he was glad the hotel was less than ten minutes away. 

 

They finally pulled into the parking lot and Hotch noted that the deep flush he’d seen at the scene had completely disappeared, leaving JJ’s skin a washed out shade of grey he really didn’t like. She did seem steady on her feet when she got out of the car which he took as a good sign, but her skin pale further upon standing and he was eager to get her upstairs. The elevator ride and walk down the hallway seemed to take forever. 

 

The moment he unlocked the door, JJ made a beeline for the bed and collapsed onto it, head in hands. It didn’t take long after she sat down for her to start coughing and Hotch quickly became alarmed at how fast the coughs came and how thick they sounded. He grabbed a bottle of water and sat next to her on the bed, placing a hand on her back. She turned as far away as possible as she continued to cough. It took almost a minute but they slowed on their own. She turned back, panting slightly and wincing from the pain in her throat and took the bottle of water gratefully. He noted it definitely hurt to swallow. 

 

“This is gross Hotch. I’m so sorry. You really should go-I know you’ve been exposed already but I don’t want you to catch this.” JJ whispered, coughing again but managing to stop the fit with another swallow of water. 

 

“I’m not worried about that, I’m worried about you. You’re really sick JJ.” She looked away.

 

“I hate that you’re seeing me like this. I wish you would just go. Please, please just go.” She begged. 

 

Hotch felt torn. He really didn’t want to leave her, but she was a grown woman and he was causing her distress by being there. 

 

“I want to help JJ, in any way I can.”

 

“I just want to sleep. I appreciate everything, I do. But please Hotch, just go.” 

 

He nodded and stood up, trying to ignore the feeling in his gut telling him he shouldn’t. 

 

“I’ll text you the details of when we’re flying out. Try to get some sleep.”

 

“Thanks.” JJ murmured, her arms wrapped around herself. He left her sitting there on the bed. It wasn’t until he got back to his room that he realized he still had her room key. He texted to ask if she wanted him to bring it over, and she responded saying she was staying in the room and didn’t need it. He guessed she just didn’t want him to see her. Rossi sent a message saying that they were heading back, and he got another message saying that they’d be flying out at 8 the next morning which he forwarded to JJ. 

 

It wasn’t easy to turn his mind off enough to fall asleep, and he laid awake long after he changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed. He stared at the ceiling for hours before he fell asleep, listening to JJ cough through the wall. 

 

——————————

[stars123]

I’m loving this update! Hotch worried about sick JJ  can’t wait for the next part! Thanks!! 

[sneezemeister]

Oh man, this is so good!

[24Me]

 

 

There’s a definite V-Warning in this update, so skip if that’s something you’re not into! 
 

 

 

 

 

 

All she wanted to do was fall asleep. It had been days since she’d slept more than an hour or two at a time and she knew her body was in a serious amount of sleep debt. It was a catch 22-to get better she needed rest, but she was too sick to sleep. She laid awake for hours, tossing and turning as she had coughing fit after coughing fit, before she slowly became aware of another and more unpleasant feeling. The nausea she’d felt in the car with Hotch was hitting her full force, leaving her with clammy hands and a sweaty forehead as she tried to convince herself she didn’t need to get sick. It wasn’t long before she couldn’t take it anymore and she stood, feeling the remaining color drain from her face as she wobbled to the bathroom. 

 

JJ made it to the toilet just in time. There wasn’t much in her stomach, but her body seemed determined to purge itself of whatever virus she’d contracted and she found herself being violently ill for what felt like quite a long time, but was probably only a few minutes, before her body gave her a break and she was able to lean against the wall. She was intensely aware of how ill she felt-every ache was intensified and she was freezing on the bathroom floor, but had no desire to go back to bed until she was sure she wasn’t going to be sick again, as she had no energy left to walk back and forth. Sure enough, about 15 minutes later the process repeated itself and she found herself clinging to the toilet for dear life.  

 

She had no way of telling how long she was in the bathroom, but at some point things calmed down enough that she started to nod off sitting up against the wall. Her phone beeping jarred her awake and she stood reluctantly, swaying heavily and bracing herself against the bathroom counter before slowly making her way back to the bed. A quick glance at the time said it was barely 5:30-good news. There was time to gather herself before the flight home. A text from Hotch was on her lock screen. 

 

•Do you need anything before the flight home?• JJ blushed as she read the text. She couldn’t explain why she felt as uncomfortable as she did with Hotch checking up on her. It was like he saw straight through her and it made her feel exposed. She typed out a quick response. 

 

•I’m alright. Thank you for checking• 

 

With that she put away her phone and started the slow process of trying to get packed and ready to leave. First things first, she needed a shower. She felt sweaty and gross from the night before. While it was hard to remain upright long enough to shower, it did help her feel cleaner. She didn’t bother drying her hair all the way, just pulled it back into a damp bun. JJ gave herself a critical glance in the mirror and eventually decided the energy it would take to put on makeup wouldn’t be worth the final product. No amount of concealer and mascara would cover how hollow her eyes and cheeks looked, or even how pale she was. 

 

She moved slowly to pack everything and strip her covers but still found herself growing more and more nauseated as she moved. In the middle of zipping her suitcase, she finally sat down on the bed and put her hands on her knees to try to hold off the inevitable. Before long she found herself in front of the toilet again getting sick. She brushed her teeth, splashed some water on her face, and finished packing around 7:25. Grateful to have a few minutes to rest, she sank into a chair and put her head in her hands. At 7:40, there was a knock on her door and she reluctantly stood to answer it. On the other side was Hotch. He took one look at her face and his already concerned expression darkened. 

 

“JJ, you look terrible. Did you get any sleep last night?” She tried to answer but the vomiting had left her throat raw and all that came out was a hoarse squeak. She cleared her throat, coughed, cleared her throat again, and then tried speaking once more. 

 

“Some.” It was a blatant lie but she really didn’t want to get into spending the night throwing up with her boss. He heard how weak and shaky her voice sounded just in that one word and gestured for her to sit down. She did, gratefully, and he knelt in front of her. He placed a hand on her forehead, then her cheek, frowning at the heat he felt. 

 

“Your fever is way up. Have you taken anything?” 

 

“A few mbidutes ago.” A lie, but she wasn’t going to tell him medication wouldn’t stay down. He nodded, still staring at her intensely. 

 

“You’re very pale. Is there anything I need to know?” Damn. She didn’t want to lie but didn’t feel like explaining what was going on. 

 

“I’mb just tired Hotch. Let’s just get hombe, okay?” He nodded, and picked up her go bag from the bed. She shot him a grateful look that he didn’t acknowledge, and then she followed him out of the room. 

 

By the time they made it to the lobby, JJ could feel sweat breaking out across her forehead and back and was swallowing every few seconds to keep the nausea at bay. She sank into a chair the first chance she got and Hotch stood next to her, arms crossed as he waited for the rest of the team to arrive. Rossi got there first, predictably, and didn’t look happy when he caught sight of JJ. 

 

“You’re sweating, Bella. That fever must be up.” Hotch looked down and saw that his mentor was right, but wasn’t so sure it was related to the fever. JJ’s face was chalk white, bordering on grey, and she hadn’t said a word the whole walk down. It seemed like she was actively trying not to talk. Even now as Rossi pointed out that she was sweating, JJ just shifted uncomfortably and shrugged. She didn’t fight back or agree or disagree. 

 

Morgan came downstairs at that moment and saved JJ from answering that question by making a statement. 

 

“Man, look what the cat dragged in. JJ, you look rough.” JJ passed a hand over her face and Hotch noticed it was shaking before she answered. 

 

“I’b alright, just tired.” Morgan looked skeptical but heard how weak she sounded and let it drop fast. Reid looked mildly horrified as he walked downstairs and stood as far away from JJ as possible. 

 

“I know if I were to catch it I’d have already been exposed, but JJ you look so sick and I don’t want to take any chances-no offense…” Reid’s words were rapid fire and made her head spin. JJ tried to muster up a smile, relieved that he was talking to her, but it came out looking like a grimace. 

 

“Ndo offense taken.” 

 

Emily was, predictably, late. Normally that didn’t bother JJ but today she was desperate to get into a horizontal position and out of the noise of the hotel lobby. Her head was throbbing, the nausea was coming back the longer she was upright, and she just wanted to sleep. She finally leaned over and put her head in her hands, breathing shallowly as she tried to keep herself together. Rossi took note of this and bent down, placing a hand on her shoulder to get her to look at him. 

 

“Are you going to make it, Cara Mia?” He phrased it as a joke, but there was truth behind his question. He was seriously unsure if the woman beside him was going to last through the flight home with how miserable she was. All JJ could do was nod slightly, sitting back again as she tried to find a tolerable position. 

 

Prentiss arrived at 8:04, rushing full speed into the lobby and stopping short as she caught sight of JJ’s chalky face. 

 

“Jesus JJ-“

 

Hotch cut her off with a shake of his head and a warning look. 

 

“Alright. Prentiss, Reid and Morgan, you’ll take the first SUV to the airport. The three of us will meet you there.” 

 

Rossi leaned in closer to Hotch as the team began to trickle out. 

 

“She’s in bad shape. It’s going to be a rough flight home.” Hotch nodded, not once taking his eyes off of his sick team member. 

 

“I know. Can you bring the car around?” 

 

“On it.” Rossi headed outside to bring the SUV to the front of the hotel and Hotch sat in the chair next to JJ. 

 

“Rossi’s bringing the car around.” JJ kept her eyes closed but nodded to show that she’d heard him. Hotch noticed her arms crossed over her stomach and wondered if she was cold, nauseated or both. “Do you need anything on the way to the airport? Is there anything that would make you more comfortable?” JJ just shook her head as she made eye contact with him, and he got the message. She just had to get through it at that point. A honk from outside let him know that Rossi was waiting and he stood, lifting both their bags with ease before helping JJ to her feet. She swayed as she stood and he held her around the waist until she’d found her balance. “Are you with me?” He asked. 

 

“I’m good.” It was almost amusing how she picked that phrase to reassure him-her weak voice and the way she was shaking against him told him she was anything but good. They made it to the car though, and JJ seemed to relax a little when she was sitting down. It wasn’t a long drive to the airport, and before long they were pulling onto the tarmac alongside the jet. JJ seemed to almost deflate as she looked at the stairs she’d have to climb before she visibly gathered herself and climbed out of the SUV. Hotch had already shouldered her bag, and checked subtly to make sure she was steady on her feet before following her towards the base of the stairs. He noticed her legs trembling as she ascended and stayed only a step behind her, ready to catch her if she stumbled. She was coughing raggedly by the time she sat down at the table just inside the door, too exhausted to make it to a more comfortable seat. Hotch frowned but didn’t say anything, just went to the kitchen and returned with water in hand. JJ was still coughing as the rest of the team filed onto the plane, settling into their usual seats in the back after stowing their bags. She finally got herself under control and leaned back against the seat, completely drained. Hotch stood and addressed the team as soon as the cabin door was shut. 

 

“You all did exceptional work on this case-you should be proud of yourselves. It certainly wasn’t an easy week.” He paused as JJ raised a clump of tissues to her mouth and nose and ducked forward, sneezing headily three times. 

 

“Hhhhgschoo! Hhhhntschoo! Hhhampshoo! Sorry Hotch, excuse be.” He waved her off.

 

“Bless you. That brings me to my next point. Clearly JJ is sick, and I don’t want anyone else catching this if we can help it. Wash your hands, drink plenty of fluids, and get rest. We’re off until Monday. If anyone does come down with what JJ has, let me know and additional time off will be arranged.” He made eye contact with each member of the team before sitting down across from JJ. 

 

“Hotch, I’b so sorry about this week. I was such a burden to you and to the teamb. I-“ Hotch cut her off gently with a shake of his head. 

 

“JJ, you made the connection between the geography, the meaning behind the symbols and the victims the UNSUB was targeting. You were an asset, not a burden.” She looked down at the table, not wanting to argue but unable to shake the feeling of being worthless. Hotch reached out and touched her wrist to get her attention. He felt his stomach tighten as he realized she was shaking again. “What’s wrong?” His voice was soft.

 

“Ndothindg, I’mb fidne.” He hated that she was shutting him out. She’d been doing it the whole case. He understood her desire for privacy but he wished she would let him in. Still, he decided not to push her as she pulled her hands away and turned to look out the window, clearly struggling to keep control of her emotions. He just pulled out the case file and began to make his way through the paperwork that still needed to be completed-his goal was to have it done by the time they landed. His focus remained on signatures and forms as they taxied, but as soon as the jet began to climb a gasp from JJ pulled his attention back to her. 

 

One glance told him that she was in a good deal of pain. Her right hand was pressed to her forehead while her left gripped the edge of the table so tightly her knuckles were already turning white, and he could see the grimace on her pale face even though her head was tilted downwards. He’d been so caught up in the thought of getting home that he hadn’t stopped to think about how painful flying with her level of congestion would be. 

 

“Take some deep breaths.” He said in a low voice, noting that she was breathing shallowly. “It’ll even out when we get to a cruising altitude.” JJ didn’t respond, though he noticed her trying to regulate her breathing. Hotch watched helplessly as she shifted her weight, gritted her teeth, and occasionally let out a pained gasp as the pressure built dramatically, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Finally, the plane leveled out and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. JJ stayed tense for several minutes before slowly beginning to relax. When she finally lowered her hand from her head, he could see the tension in her face indicating she was still in pain, but her breathing was more regular and she no longer had a death grip on the table. 

 

“Sorry Hotch.” He looked at her incredulously as she apologized. 

 

“There’s no need to apologize JJ. I’m sorry you’re so sick. Is there anything I can get you?” She shook her head slightly. 

 

“Dod’t worry about mbe.” He frowned, unsure of how to respond to that, as JJ leaned back a little in her seat. Hotch had a direct view of her face and didn’t like what he saw-her eyes looked sunken with deep purple circles ringing them, her nose a raw shade of red, and the rest of her face drained of all color. She looked as tired and as sick as he’d ever seen her, and it stirred an anxious feeling in his gut. 

 

“We have a few hours before we land.” He spoke quietly to avoid aggravating her headache, or drawing attention to the two of them. “Why don’t you take the couch and try to sleep for a while?” JJ stiffened, unsure of how to explain that she wouldn’t be able to sleep. There was so much pressure in her sinuses and her head felt like it would split open after taking off-there was no way she’d be able to fall asleep with that kind of pain. Still, the dizziness was starting to creep back in and with it an increase in the nausea, so being horizontal might not be the worst idea.

 

“Okay.” She whispered, sliding out of the booth and standing slowly, gripping the top of the seat as the world tilted around her and trying to breathe through the wave of nausea that crashed over her. Hotch looked at her in concern, preparing to stand as she didn’t move. 

 

“JJ, are you alright? What’s going on?”

 

“Ndothing. I just got a little dizzy.” Her voice sounded weak and she didn’t look all that steady on her feet as she made her way to the couch, curling up on her side and closing her eyes. Hotch went back to his paperwork, looking over every so often to see if she’d fallen asleep. She didn’t look relaxed at all-in fact she looked tense and stiff as she laid there. He highly suspected she was awake but didn’t say anything until she had a coughing fit that wouldn’t slow down, even as she pushed herself into an upright position. 

 

Everyone in the back of the plane got quiet as the chesty coughs shook her thin frame. Hotch stood and brought the water he’d gotten earlier over to her, sitting next to her and handing her the bottle. She took it gratefully, taking a sputtering sip and coughing harder. He placed a hand on her back, noting the heat radiating through her thin blouse and guessed that her fever was up again. Another few sips and the coughing fit petered out. Hotch raised his eyes and met those of his worried team, nodding to reassure them that she was okay. They went back to what they had been doing reluctantly, not wanting to embarrass JJ. 

 

“I’b sorry. That was gross.” JJ said in a dejected tone. Hotch didn’t like this side of her-defeated and depressed wasn’t like JJ. She was tough, and the one who others went to for comfort. It occurred to him that he’d turned a blind eye to the fact that she was struggling for that reason. 

 

“It’s okay to be sick. There isn’t anything to apologize for.” JJ half nodded, and he noted sweat on her brow. He frowned-she really wasn’t doing well at all. “Is it better sitting up or laying down?” 

 

JJ shot him a surprised look, misery present in her expression. He clarified his thoughts. 

 

“You’re sheet white, sweating, and you keep swallowing every few seconds. I’m guessing you’re nauseous. Is it better when you’re sitting up or lying down?” JJ put a hand to her forehead, trying to keep it together and not fall apart in front of her boss. 

 

“I guess lying down.” He stood so she could do that and she laid flat gratefully.

 

“We’ve only got a half hour before we land. Let me know if you need something.” Hotch said gently, before walking back to his seat. 

 

She sat up when the pilot announced they were descending and immediately felt the room spin around her. It didn’t help her stomach at all, and neither did the increase in head pain as the air pressure changed. By the time they touched down, she was covered in sweat and just praying she could keep it together until she could get off the plane. 

 

Hotch stood and addressed the team one last time as they waited for the doors to open.

 

“Once again, great work everyone. We’re off until Monday, so please spend the next three days resting and taking care of yourselves. If anyone needs additional time off, let me know.” 

 

JJ heard the door open and stairs lower and didn’t even grab her coat, just stood on shaky legs and went down as quickly as she could. She made it about ten steps from the foot of the stairs before she doubled over and retched violently, trembling from head to toe from the cold air and the illness. Prentiss was the next one off the plane, spotted JJ, and rushed over to her.

 

“Oh Jayje…it’s okay, I’m right here…” She put a hand on JJ’s shoulder and rubbed her back with the other. As the next person came down the stairs she vaguely heard Emily say “Can someone grab JJ’s coat?” 

 

Morgan came down with both JJ’s bag and her coat, pausing a few feet away with a sympathetic expression as JJ heaved again.

 

“Is there anything I can do?” 

 

“I think just leave those there. I doubt she wants an audience.” 

 

Reid flew by with a “feel better JJ!”, closely followed by Rossi and Hotch. 

 

Hotch frowned as he took in the scene before him, turning to Rossi with a question on his lips. The Italian knew exactly what the younger man was about to ask and nodded. 

 

“We’ll take the first SUV, I’ll get both your things in the second. You just worry about JJ.” 

 

“Thank you Dave.” Hotch said, the gratitude evident in his voice. 

 

Rossi stepped up to Prentiss and put an arm on his shoulder.

 

“Come on Cara, Hotch has it from here.” Reluctantly, she told JJ to feel better and stepped away. Hotch slid seamlessly into her place, acting much more like a father than a boss in that moment. JJ had finally emptied her stomach and stood upright slowly, wiping her mouth with a tissue with shaking hands. 

 

“God I’b so sorry Hotch.” He shook his head. 

 

“There’s no need to apologize. Is this the first time you’ve been sick?”

 

JJ shook her head. 

 

“I was up sick all ndight.” Hotch sighed and rubbed her back. 

 

“Let’s get you home.” He draped her coat over her shoulders, then kept his hand on her back as they walked towards the suv to make sure she was steady on her feet. 

 

JJ was beyond mortified. She couldn’t believe she’d just thrown up in front of the entire team. Hotch hadn’t acted disgusted though, he’d acted like a father-though she guessed he was one-and that made her head spin. She felt him wrap an arm around her waist as the world tilted under her and realized the world was spinning along with her head.

 

“Hey, stay with me JJ, we’re almost there.” He got her into the passenger seat before jogging around to the drivers side, noting she’d already leaned her head against the cool glass of the window. He pressed his hand to her forehead, not liking the heat coming from it. “You’re burning up Jennifer. I should take you to a doctor.” At that she shook her head, groaning softly as she did so.

 

“Ndo, I just wadt to go hobe and sleep.” He frowned but nodded, putting the car in drive and pulling out of the airport. 

 

“If you need me to pull over, let me know.” JJ nodded. She could feel the fever crawling through her bones and still felt nauseated-she just wanted to sleep until she felt better. The familiar urge to sneeze came surging back as she nodded and she scrambled for a tissue, getting one over her mouth and nose just in time to have a proper sneezing fit. 

 

“Hhhhgschue! Hhhhngschoo! Hhhtschoo! …hhhhschhhue! Hhhhgsctchue! Hhhhngchiew! Hhh…hhhh…hhhpshtchoo! Hhhhntschhoo! Hhhhestchoo!” It left her head pounding, world spinning, and the edges of everything a little fuzzy. 

 

“Bless you.” Hotch’s voice cut through the fog and she let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. 

 

“Thadk you.” Her voice was hoarse and stuffy. She leaned her head against the window again, wishing the pain begging her eyes would go away. 

 

“Have you taken anything for the headache?” Hotch asked, frowning as he realized how much pain she was in. JJ shook her head no.

 

“It wod’t stay down.” That made him want to get her to a doctor even more, but he didn’t fight her on it. He hadn’t talked to JJ yet, but there was no way in hell he was leaving her alone. If Will was home, he’d just check in the next day, but if not he’d be staying overnight. She was in no shape to be by herself-not with how unsteady she was and how high her fever had been. 

 

They pulled into the BAU lot and Hotch turned to look at JJ. 

 

“I’m going to give you a ride home. Do you need anything on the way-soup, cold medicine, cough drops?” She looked at him with bleary eyes. She couldn’t believe her boss cared this much. It was unsettling and made her feel lightheaded.

 

“I’b fide Hotch.” He didn’t press her-he could run out for supplies later. 

 

They got out of the SUV and headed slowly towards Hotch’s car. JJ’s shoulders were slumped and she looked about ready to collapse by the time she made it there. She sat down heavily in his passenger seat.

 

“Thadks for the ride. I kdow it’s out of your way.”

 

“It hardly is.” He assured her, noting the pallor of her cheeks and hoping she’d be able to make it home. He started asking questions when they were about halfway there. “JJ, is Will home this weekend?” 

 

She turned her head away from him, trying to hold back tears. She couldn’t explain why she was crying-probably the fever. 

 

“Ndo.” Her voice came out flat. Hotch bit the inside of his lip as he tried to figure out what to say next. 

 

“You really shouldn’t be alone tonight. Do you have anyone to stay with you?” 

 

“I’b okay Hotch.” He flashed her a short look before immediately returning his eyes to the road. 

 

“That’s not what I asked. Do you have anyone to stay with you?” He repeated. JJ sighed. 

 

“Ndo.” 

 

“Is there anyone you can call?” Hotch considered himself and JJ friends. He’d leaned on her a good bit while Emily had been away, but wasn’t sure how JJ felt about her boss staying with her while she was at her most vulnerable.

 

“Ndo.” She answered for the third time, sounding beaten down and tired. Hotch nodded.

 

“Alright. You’re running a high fever, you’re not steady on your feet, and you’re vomiting. I don’t feel it’s safe for you to stay on your own. I’d like to stay with you, if you’ll let me.” As expected, JJ shook her head.

 

“I appreciate the offer Hotch, but I’ve beed sick before. I’ll be okay.” They pulled into JJ’s driveway and Hotch put the car in park but locked the doors. 

 

“Jennifer. If I were as sick as you are, would you feel comfortable with me staying alone? Or if Prentiss were this sick? Or Reid?” JJ bit her lip but ultimately shook her head. 

 

“I wouldn’t.”

 

“You’ve been through the wringer the last six months. Your body is exhausted and I’m afraid if you get sicker overnight something might happen to you, and if it does I won’t be able to forgive myself.” His words were carefully aimed but spoken gently. JJ twisted her hands in her lap and he noticed tears ready to fall down her cheeks. “What is it, JJ?” That made the tears fall thick and fast. 

 

“Hotch, I….I dod’t wadt you to see mby house.” 

 

“I don’t care if it’s messy JJ-“ She looked slightly affronted at that. 

 

“It’s ndot. It’s just…if you see it you’ll kndow things and I’mb ndot ready for that. And I dod’t have a guest roomb and I dod’t”

Hotch gently put a hand on her shoulder as she started coughing, clearly working herself up.  

 

“What about if you come stay at my place, at least for tonight? I have a guest room and I won’t have to see your house but I can keep an eye on you.” She nodded. 

 

“Let me just grab a few things here.” He nodded, watching her walk slowly to the front door and shut it behind her. 

 

As soon as she was inside, JJ made a beeline to the bathroom and was violently ill once again. She’d managed to stay in control somehow while talking to Hotch, but the thought of him being here and everything that had happened in the last few months, coupled with whatever bug was in her system had been too much. She was sick for several minutes before she was able to clean herself up, pack a change of pajamas and clothes, and head back out to the car. She saw him take in her red eyes but he didn’t say a word which she was thankful for. 

 

The drive to his house was uneventful, but JJ could feel herself getting more and more anxious. She’d been to his home a few times, but never as an overnight guest. It made her nervous. Hotch sensed this, like he seemed to sense everything. 

 

“It’s alright JJ. It’s just for a night or two. I’m not your boss while you’re here, I’m just a friend.” That word felt weird to JJ but also nice. For now she was too sick to deal with any of the emotions this was stirring up. Hotch showed her the guest room and the bathroom, and left her to change into a pair of pajamas while he changed into a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeved t shirt. 

 

When he came out of his room, JJ was curled on the couch with an unfocused expression in the living room. He sat down on the other end, thermometer in hand, wanting to assess what kind of physical state she was in. 

 

“JJ, how are you feeling?” He asked. She shrugged. 

 

“Okay.” Another blatant lie. He could tell from her posture everything ached, and the squint around her eyes told him she had a headache. As she swallowed she winced, indicating a sore throat. 

 

“Liar.” He said, edging closer. She laughed softly, which turned into a chesty coughing fit. That ended with her holding her chest, a pained expression written all over her face. He’d keep an eye on that. “Can I check your temperature?” She nodded. He ran it over her forehead and behind her ear, pulling it away to reveal a fever of 102.9. 

 

“Is it bad?” She asked. He paused, considering. 

 

“Not as bad as I thought it would be, but it’s high.” JJ nodded and yawned, covering it with a hand. Hotch obviously noticed, and hoped she’d go to sleep. 

 

“I know it’s not even noon, but why don’t you try to get some sleep? It’s been a long case.” JJ nodded, hiding a half smile as Hotch stifled a yawn himself. Deciding it might help her sleep, he stood and gestured down the hall. “I might try to sleep for a bit as well, but I’m just down the hall if you need me.” He waited until JJ had gone into her room and closed the door before he headed into his, keeping the door open a crack so that he would hear JJ if she called him. He must have been more tired than he thought, because he fell asleep minutes after he laid down. 

 

JJ didn’t get so lucky. As soon as she laid down her stomach started churning. She tossed and turned for the better part of half an hour before sitting up, covered in sweat and realizing she was losing the battle. She just prayed Hotch wouldn’t hear her as she climbed out of bed, tiptoed down the hallway and shut the door behind her before getting on her knees in front of the toilet just in time. She was sick off and on for two hours, getting a few minutes reprieve in between bouts before being ill again. Her stomach was empty and it was painful to mostly dry heave, but she tried to be as quiet as possibly so Hotch wouldn’t wake up. 

 

Eventually, she stood up and splashed some water on her face, brushed her teeth, and took a step towards the door before realizing the world was tilting wildly around her. Thinking it was a fluke, she took another and nearly fell. That was enough to convince her to sit down, lean her back against the edge of the tub, and just wait for the dizziness to pass. It felt like the world would never stop spinning so she closed her eyes, hoping that would help. She must have nodded off because the next thing she knew, Hotch was kneeling in front of her, worry etched into every feature. 

 

Hotch felt absolutely terrible when he found her on the floor. He was never a heavy sleeper but he’d slept for three hours straight, and clearly right through JJ throwing up. He’d gone to check on her in her room, realized she wasn’t there, and found her asleep against the tub in the bathroom. It wasn’t hard to put two and two together. He knelt in front of her and shook her shoulder, noting that she was covered in a thin layer of sweat and shivering. She opened her eyes slowly, looking disoriented. 

 

“JJ, are you alright? What’s going on?” 

 

“I got dizzy….couldn’t get back to the roomb.” She explained. He nodded, noting she looked even more tired than before.

 

“You’re shaking. Come on, let’s get you up.” 

 

He pulled her to her feet, supporting a good bit of her weight as she struggled to find her balance, and half carried her back to her room. He wanted her to change into dry pajamas but knew she was too out of it for that, so just pulled back the covers and helped her into bed.

 

“Do you need anything JJ?” She shook her head but shivered, so he pulled an extra blanket down from the closet and spread it over her. Her eyes were already closing as he left the room and slipped into the kitchen to prep some ingredients for meals for the next few days. 

[24Me]

On 8/17/2022 at 12:28 AM, stars123 said:

I’m loving this update! Hotch worried about sick JJ  can’t wait for the next part! Thanks!! 

I’m so glad you liked it! 

 

On 8/18/2022 at 7:43 PM, sneezemeister said:

Oh man, this is so good!

Thank you so much! 

[stars123]

You are the best at writing Hotch/JJ stories!! I’m obsessed 

[24Me]

On 10/30/2023 at 12:09 AM, stars123 said:

You are the best at writing Hotch/JJ stories!! I’m obsessed 

Ahhhh thank you so much!!! I really appreciate it! They’re my absolute favorites to write so I’m glad I’m at least somewhat successful. 
 

This part is a lot of emotion and care from Hotch towards JJ. I’m not sure how much more of this I’m going to write but I’m just trying to write as I feel inspired. 

 

Forty minutes later, the food prep was done and he had just finished cleaning up the kitchen. Hotch took a moment to lean against the counter, worry for JJ churning in his gut. He hoped she’d be able to rest for a while longer, knowing she must be absolutely exhausted between her illness and the immense sleep debt she had from overworking herself on the case. That thought proved to be a jinx-as soon as it crossed his mind he heard the sound of sneezing coming from the guest room and frowned deeply. Clearly JJ was awake, and she sounded even worse than she had before she’d gone to sleep. 

 

“Anhhh….ahhhhh….ahhhhaaahhhh…hhhhhggggschoo! Hhhhnnmppfffshoo! Hhhhhnnnsccchooo! Hhhh…hhhh…hhhhheeesschoo! Aaaaassssccchooo! Nnnnnnnggggsssccchtttooo!” 

 

Each sneeze sounded horribly congested and drawn out, and the last one was followed by a painful sounding series of nose blows. The unit chief glanced at the clock on the microwave, saw that is was barely five in the evening, and crossed his fingers that she’d be able to go back to sleep. Moments later, that hope was dashed when he heard the bed creak and then the sound of footsteps before the door opened. JJ stood there for a moment, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the bright light of the hall after the total darkness of the guest room, looking very small and vulnerable in her loose pajamas. 

 

“How are you feeling? Any better?” Hotch asked, hopeful that the rest would have done her some good even as his gut told him she definitely wasn’t doing better-in fact, she looked a lot worse than when she’d gone to sleep, which he hadn’t thought possible. JJ shook her head, looking miserable. 

 

“I thidk I mbight feel worse.” He frowned at that, and frowned even more deeply as she pulled a tissue from her pocket and covered her mouth with it as a horrible cough shook her body. He’d keep an eye on that-if it was any worse or no better by tomorrow, he’d take her in to be evaluated. Going to her, he took her upper arm with his hand and guided her to the couch, easing her down on the cushions before sitting across from her on the coffee table. The coughing fit eased off a bit once she was sitting, then passed altogether, leaving her looking as exhausted as he’d ever seen her in front of him. 

 

“May I take your temperature?” He asked, noting the deep pink splashes across her cheekbones that were telltale signs of a fever. JJ nodded slightly, wincing as she did so and bringing her hands up to rub her temples. He waited until she’d lowered them to scan the thermometer across her forehead and across her ear, waiting until it had beeped before pulling it away. “Still 102.9. JJ, you’ve had this fever for days now. It might be time to see a doctor.” She just leaned back against the sofa cushions, shaking her head slightly. 

 

“Ndo, I’b alright. I’ll just…” She trailed off as the urge to sneeze overtook her and snapped forward into her hands. “Aaaassschooo! Hhhhnssscchoo! Hhhhttttschhoo!” The mini fit seemed to have distracted her from whatever she was going to say, and she simply stood to wash her hands and blow her nose, returning a few moments later looking vaguely dizzy. JJ settled back onto the couch, looking worn out and miserable, and Hotch let the silence hang while he figured out what to say next. 

 

“Do you feel up to eating something?” He asked quietly, figuring that might help with the dizziness. It was clear JJ was only pretending to think about it before she responded with a shake of her head and a slight look of shame. “What about a cup of tea?” She didn’t say no, just hesitated, and Hotch took that as a yes. He stood and went to the kitchen to put the kettle on, taking two mugs down from the cabinet and placing teabags in them-Earl Grey for himself and chamomile for JJ. It wasn’t long before the water had boiled and he poured it into the mugs, adding a bit of honey to both and a few ice cubes to JJ’s before bringing them back into the living room. He set JJ’s in front of her and took a seat on the love seat adjacent to her, holding his own tea in his hands, and waited for her to speak. 

 

“Thadks for the tea.” JJ really did sound terrible between the congestion and the laryngitis, and Hotch could tell from her expression that it was every bit as painful for her to speak as it sounded. She took a sip, noting the tea was just a tad warmer than perfect temperature, and suddenly had a realization. “Hotch, where’s Jack?” She didn’t miss the way her boss winced slightly, setting his mug down on the coffee table in front of him, and she followed suit. “What is it? What’s wrondg?” 

 

Hotch gave JJ a level look, knowing she wasn’t going to like the answer but that it was better than whatever panicked place her fevered mind was going to now.  

 

“I asked Jessica to keep Jack with her for the next two nights.” He explained, pausing to gauge JJ’s reaction. She looked confused and cocked her head slightly. 

 

“Why?” Realization suddenly dawned on her and he watched as a look of horror washed over her expression. “Because of mbe…oh Hotch…you did’dt wadt hib to get sick too so you’re gividg up tibe with Jack to take care of mbe…” She started coughing and broke off, tears forming in her eyes. Hotch was at a loss for what to say-she had the situation entirely correct. He’d spoken to Jack who had okay’ed the situation, even encouraging him to spend the entire weekend with JJ if that’s what it took. 

 

He watched with worry as the coughing fit picked up speed, leaving JJ red faced as she leaned forward, clearly struggling to get a good breath in. Standing, he retrieved a glass of water from the kitchen and brought it back to her, sitting beside her on the couch and putting the water into her hand as he thumped her gently on the back. 

 

“Easy JJ. Try to take a breath, you’re alright. The water’s there when you’re able.” As soon as she’d taken a sip and gotten the fit somewhat under control to the point that she could speak, JJ began talking again. 

 

“Hotch, you ndeed to take mbe hobe and pick up Jack. He’s mbissed so mbuch tibe with you as it is.” She spoke around coughs and was out of breath by the time she finished talking, and Hotch frowned, seriously concerned about both her breathing at the moment and her level of distress. 

 

“JJ, catch your breath for a minute and then we’ll talk about this.” If she could have said something to him in that moment, she would have, but she was too busy doing exactly what he’d told her to do to argue. After about thirty seconds, she’d recovered enough to reiterate what she’d said earlier. 

 

“I’b ndot kiddidg Hotch. Take mbe hobe.” He shook his head. 

 

“Your fever is too high JJ. It’s not safe for you to be at home alone right now.” 

 

“Thed I’ll call a cab.” She snapped, standing abruptly and looking as if she was about to storm off before swaying and immediately sitting back down. Hotch was dialing his phone as she spoke and she had just gotten her bearings when he held it out to her. 

 

“Jack would like to speak with you.” He said, his expression unreadable. JJ hesitantly took the phone, putting it on speaker to avoid having it pressed against her face. 

 

“Hi Jack, it’s Audt JJ.” She said as loudly as she could, trying and failing to muffle the cough that followed. 

 

“Hi Aunt JJ! My daddy said you’re sick, are you feeling better?” She looked up at Hotch, unsure if she should lie or not, and Hotch gave a slight shake of his head. 

 

“Uh, ndot quite yet but your Daddy is doidg a great job takidg care of mbe. Are you okay sweetie?” 

 

“I’m fine! Aunt Jessica and I have been playing with trains, and watching movies, and we’re going to go on a surprise adventure tomorrow and then I get to pick where we go to dinner-“ The little boy was talking so fast it made JJ’s head spin but she tried to muster up a smile, even though he couldn’t see her. 

 

“Good, I’b glad you’re okay.” She could feel tears pricking the corners of her eyes as she thought about how much she missed Henry and she pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to hold herself together. 

 

“Aunt JJ?”

 

“Yeah Jack?” Her voice was shaking, hard as she tried to hold it steady, and she bit her lip, hard. 

 

“You can watch my Spider-Man movies. They make me feel better when I’m sick and when I’m sad. I think you’re both so they should help a lot.” JJ had to choke back a sob at that and knew she had to get off the phone.   

 

“Okay Jack. I have to go, here’s your Daddy-“ She handed the phone over to Hotch as she simultaneously took it off speaker and pressed a hand over her mouth, trying to keep her emotions in check. 

 

Hotch’s heart was breaking as he watched JJ struggle to keep her composure on the phone with Jack, and he felt more than a little guilty for not thinking of the fact that she wasn’t with her own son at the moment. He was jarred out of his thoughts as JJ pressed the phone into his hand and sat back down on the couch with her faced turned away from him. 

 

“Daddy?”

 

“Yeah Buddy?”

 

“Is Aunt JJ okay?” Hotch sighed. This was a tricky question, and one he didn’t have all the answers to. 

 

“She will be. She’s pretty sick right now but she’ll be better in a few days, and then she’s got some grown up stuff to deal with that will take a little longer to fix, but I’m helping her.” 

 

“Okay. Love you daddy.”

 

“I love you too Jack. I’ll talk to you soon.” 

 

The call disconnected and Hotch immediately turned his attention to the woman in his living room. 

 

“JJ, are you alright?” She nodded and then let out a breath she’d apparently been holding before turning back to face him, trying to muster a smile despite the obvious tear tracks on her face. 

 

“I’b okay. Jack was just really sweet.” Hotch continued looking at her with those razor sharp eyes, and she could feel her resolve slipping away again. Deciding it was better to tell a half truth than to break down on his couch, she tried again. “I mbiss Hedry, that’s all.” Still, he would not look away. God, why did he have to do this now? “Hotch, your mbakidg mbe feel like I’b beidg interrogated. What’s goidg od?” 

 

He didn’t respond right away, wanting to choose his words carefully. Now was probably not the best time to push her, not when she had a fever and was exhausted and run down, but this was as open as she’d been with him, and he felt he needed to use the opportunity to get her to open up. The weight of carrying her secret was eating her alive and he couldn’t stand seeing her in so much pain when he was right there to carry some of it.

 

“Why isn’t Henry with you?” He asked quietly, finally deciding to make the leap and ask the question he knew could unravel her. 

 

JJ looked like the wind had been knocked out of her. She froze immediately, hand halfway towards the mug of tea she’d been reaching for as a way to fill the silence, her whole body tensing as she clearly had an internal debate about whether to answer honestly or not. She finally sat back and tried to act casual. 

 

“He’s with Will.” That was more honest than Hotch had thought she’d be. He edged a little closer on the couch, looking at her intensely while she did everything she could to avoid his gaze. 

 

“And where is Will?” His words were a low rumble. JJ didn’t answer and he could see her starting to tremble. “Jennifer, it’s okay. I’m right here.” 

 

“That’s the problem.” She snapped suddenly, coughing several times due to the strain on her voice. Hotch hadn’t been expecting that but sat quietly without flinching, letting her say what she needed to. If there was a shot she was going to open up, he wasn’t about to cut her off. “You’re here to watch mbe cobe undode. You’re mby boss, you’re sobeode I respect, I just…” She trailed off, twisting her hands together anxiously. “God I hate this.” He let her sit for a minute until it became apparent she was done talking.

 

“Jennifer, look at me.” Reluctantly, she brought her eyes up to meet his. “I’m not judging you. I care about you tremendously and all that matters to me is your well being.” She took in a shaky breath and nodded. “I’m pushing because I think you need to let someone else help you carry this.”

 

“Hotch, I appreciate it but I cad handle it-“ She’d lowered her gaze again, looking at her hands in her lap as she sat somewhat turned away from him, clearly trying to put up every boundary she could. Unable to resist any longer, he reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. She flinched, and he could feel every tense muscle beneath his hand, but he didn’t move it away and instead gave it a gentle squeeze. 

 

“Please talk to me.” He was nearly begging her, something he almost never did. “Is Will out of town?” Hotch knew that wasn’t the case but wanted to give her an out if the conversation was too much, terrified he was pushing too hard. 

 

She turned to look at him and there was so much pain and grief and emotion present in her eyes that he could almost feel his shoulders sag under the weight of it, but he held her gaze even as the tears began to fall from her eyes. 

 

“We split up.” Her voice was so quiet he barely heard her, and he wished he could say he had heard her wrong but he knew exactly what she’d said.

 

“How long ago?”

 

“Three weeks.” She said, and then fully dissolved into tears. Hotch didn’t hesitate, just pulled her into him and held her close while she cried. JJ didn’t resist, wrapping her arms around him and weeping as he held her. He didn’t tell her everything would be okay, or that she was alright, or try to offer advice. He just sat there and tried to absorb whatever grief he could. Knowing she needed to get it out, he was prepared to sit there as long as she needed, and was startled when out of nowhere she twisted as far to the side as she could, her lungs expanding as she took in a sharp breath. 

 

“Hhhesssschiew!” Hotch released her from the hug but kept a hand on her back as he reached forward, setting the box of tissues in JJ’s lap. She grabbed several just in time to catch a rather desperate sounding sneezing fit. “Aaaaassshhhooo! Hhhhhhhggggghsccchiew! Hhhhhnssschiew’schiew! Hhhhhssssschoo! Hhhh….hhhh mmmmmpfffshoo! Hhhhaaasschoo!” JJ switched out the useless tissues for a fresh handful as she blew her nose, sneezing twice more as she did so. “Hhhhhhtssschoo! Hhhhhhhssssschoo!” 

 

“Bless you.” Hotch did not look happy as she surfaced, noting she looked dazed and that her face was red and blotchy from crying. He’d been rubbing circles on her back throughout the fit, hating that he couldn’t do anything to ease her physical or emotional pain and struggling to figure out where to go from here. He’d suspected that she and Will were no longer together, but now that it was confirmed, his desire to help and fix was in full gear. 

 

“Thadk you.” She was completely congested after twenty minutes of crying and sneezing, and as she rubbed her forehead he came to another conclusion. 

 

“Headache?” He asked, finally removing his hand from her back. JJ made a noise of assent. “Why don’t you go lie down? I’ll be there in a minute.” Too tired to ask why, JJ did as she was told and went into the dark guest room, getting under the covers and laying propped up with pillows on her back-it was the only way she could breathe. Hotch came in with a chair, an ice pack, and a wash cloth. Without a word, he placed the chair beside her bed and then wrapped the ice pack in the washcloth. 

 

“Close your eyes. This will help with the headache.” His voice was calm and reassuring, and she did as she was told. Seconds later, he settled the ice pack across her forehead. It was pleasantly cool beneath the washcloth, but not too cold. She heard the chair creak and opened her eyes again to see Hotch’s figure sitting silhouetted against the light coming in from the cracked door.

 

“Why-?” He cut her off before she could ask the question. 

 

“Just rest JJ. I’m right here if you need anything.” 

 

He could tell she wasn’t totally comfortable at first, but watched as the fatigue took over and her body began to release some of the tension it had been holding. He thought she had fallen asleep until she spoke. 

 

“I’b sorry I fell apart.” Realizing she was awake, Hotch shifted in his chair and saw that her eyes were open again, the light from the door catching them and making them glint slightly in the dark.

 

“There’s nothing to apologize for. This has been a long time coming JJ. From my own experience, I’m guessing the split was the tip of the iceberg. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize you were struggling.” JJ shook her head slightly. 

 

“I really tried to hide it, especially frob you.” That hurt more than he wanted to admit, but he tried to keep his expression neutral and prayed the dark would cover whatever he couldn’t conceal on his own. 

 

“You were there for me when Haley left. If there’s anything at all I can do for you, I will do it.” She knew he meant that in the most literal way possible, and nodded her thanks. 

 

“I appreciate that. I just…there’s so mbuch I still have to figure out. Ndot havidg Hedry every day is so hard.” He couldn’t tell in the dark but he was pretty sure she was holding back tears again, and he wished more than anything he could take away her pain. 

 

“I know it is.” Hotch said, and she knew he really did understand. A yawn cut her off before she could speak again, and try as she might to recollect her train of thought, she couldn’t quite do it. “We’ll help you through this, JJ. All of us.” At that, she began to sit up, slightly panicked, and he reached out a reassuring hand. “I won’t tell anyone until you’re ready. I just mean we all have you. I have you. For now, just get some rest. Things will look a little better in the morning.”

 

She laid back against the pillows, and he resumed his watchful position, unwilling to leave her side until he was positive he wasn’t needed. Hotch waited for her breathing to even out into a regular pattern and then finally let himself relax a little bit, wanting to wait until he was absolutely positive she was deeply asleep before leaving the room to avoid waking her. 

 

From first hand experience, he knew there was very little he could do to help JJ through this aside from being there for her. Getting her healthy was now his priority-they couldn’t face anything head on until her fever was gone and she had her energy back. It was concerning to see the way the fight had gone out of her, particularly in the last week. Sure, she’d fought to make it through the case, but she was down, anxious, not herself. 

 

When he was certain enough time had passed, he eased the ice pack off of her forehead and left the room as quietly as possible, leaving the door open slightly behind him so he’d be able to hear if she needed anything. He replaced the pack in the freezer, washed his hands, and then quietly made himself something to eat. Though hunger was the last thing on his mind, he knew he needed to keep himself healthy in order to be able to help JJ, and that meant eating, resting, and generally taking better care of himself than he usually did. 

 

By that point, it was nearing seven, and though he was nowhere near ready to turn in for the night, Hotch changed into a long sleeved FBI t-shirt and sweatpants, deciding that he may as well get ready for bed with nothing else to do. Back out in the living room, he settled onto the couch and pulled out his laptop to begin working through the never ending reports and emails he always seemed to need to finish or reply to. Cognizant of JJ, he typed as quietly as possible on the keyboard, and listened for any sign of movement from her room that would indicate he was disturbing her. 

 

It was quiet for about an hour, save the occasional cough or deeper breath, and each time he heard a noise he paused what he was doing and waited to see if she was going to stay asleep or stir further. He did hear the springs shifting often in the bed, indicating that she was rolling over frequently, but wasn’t sure how often she typically turned over in her sleep. It wasn’t until around eight that he heard a whimper come from her room. At that, he set his laptop on the couch cushion beside him, prepared to get up and go to her if need be. Sure enough, a groan followed, then several coughs and a noise he couldn’t place that made it sound like she was distressed. He quickly rose to his feet and made his way to her doorway, peering in to see what was going on. 

 

JJ’s covers were tangled around her and she had clearly been tossing and turning quite a bit. It was hard to tell in the dark, but her face looked screwed up as though in fear and her cheeks seemed reddened-something definitely wasn’t right. He stepped inside the room, moving to the side of the bed where the chair was and sitting on the edge. She cried out again in her sleep and he realized she was having a nightmare. Deciding it was best to wake her, he gently shook her shoulder while calling her name. 

 

“JJ? It’s Hotch. Wake up.” 

 

She gasped and sat straight up, a panicky expression taking over her features as she looked around the room. He kept his hand on her shoulder while she regained her bearings, speaking softly to try to keep from startling her further. 

 

“It’s alright. You’re sick, you’re at my house, you had a nightmare, but everything’s alright. Just breathe.” He could see the moment the fear passed and she relaxed. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

 

“I…ndo. I dod’t remember what I was dreabidg about.” She answered, and he suspected she was being honest. He nodded in understanding. 

 

“How often do you have the nightmares?” JJ looked surprised at the question, but answered honestly. 

 

“Albost every tibe I have a fever, I get like this. The ndightmbares are horrible.” She twisted her hands together as she spoke, and Hotch nodded in understanding. He was glad she was being honest with him, but wasn’t sure what to do to alleviate the nightmares. 

 

“Does anything help?”

 

“I just have to get through the ndight. It’s okay, really.” That made his frown deepen.

 

“Have you slept through the night once since we started this case?” She just shook her head.

 

At that, Hotch stood, leaving the room for a minute, and returned with a blanket from the back of the couch. Sitting down in the chair next to her bed, he pulled the blanket up over his shoulders and settled in. It wasn’t comfortable, but it would do. JJ gave him a confused look. “I’m staying.” He said simply. “Close your eyes and go back to sleep. I’ll wake you if you start to have another nightmare. I’ll be right here the whole time.” Rather than comforted, JJ looked appalled. 

 

“Hotch, you cad’t sleep there, you’ll hurt your back-“

 

“I’m fine right where I am.” He assured her. “Just sleep.” Reluctantly, she let her eyes drift shut and he heard her breathing even out again within a few minutes. He let his own eyes close only once he was sure she was asleep, deciding to make the best of the situation and catch up on sleep while he could. Not even twenty minutes later, he heard the bed shift as she began to toss and turn again. He watched for a few minutes until it became clear she was no longer sleeping peacefully, and called out to her. “JJ, are you alright?” 

 

She jerked awake, blinking and breathing hard. 

 

“God, they dod’t quit, do they?” She asked. Hotch gave her a sympathetic smile and asked if she wanted the light on. “Ndo, it hurts mby eyes, and it wod’t help.” 

 

“Okay. Try to go back to sleep. I’m still right here.” 

 

They repeated the process three more times before Hotch thought they were in the clear. He let himself fully relax after an hour with no nightmares, a look at the clock on the bedside table showing that it was a little past ten. Though not late per se, he was tired enough to begin to nod off in the chair, jerking awake a few times only to fall into a light sleep around eleven. 

 

He startled awake half an hour later, unsure what had woken him at first, only to glance over at the bed and see JJ fully engulfed in another nightmare. He had a feeling the fever was making the dreams worse than usual, and felt terrible for falling asleep before he could catch this one at the start. Shaking her shoulder, he woke her again, going through the process of calming her down for the fifth time that night. 

 

“Okay, this isn’t working.” Hotch said, voice filled with concern as he looked at the exhausted woman in front of him. If she couldn’t sleep, recovering from whatever she was fighting off was going to take that much longer, and that just wouldn’t do. 

 

“I’b sorry Hotch. I’b okay, I probise. You cad go.” JJ told him, tears in her eyes after the last nightmare had left her shaken up and mortified. She felt like a child, being woken up and comforted by her boss after a bad dream. Hotch shook his head, trying to think of what he could do to help her. An idea dawned on him and he stood up, shaking the blanket out and laying it out on top of the covers that were on JJ’s bed. 

 

“Scoot over.” He said quietly, voice as kind and fatherly as she’d ever heard it. JJ looked at him like he had three heads. 

 

“What are you doidg?”

 

“When I had nightmares after Foyet, the only thing that helped was holding Jack when I slept. I’d like to try that with you, if you are comfortable with it. I think physical contact may help ground you enough to keep you from experiencing such intense nightmares.” Hotch explained. The fact that he was bringing up his past trauma let JJ know he was completely serious about this, and that he truly thought it would help her. Wordlessly, she edged over towards the other side of the bed, giving him room to lie down next to her. 

 

Everything about what he did next was completely “Hotch”. He stayed on top of the covers, used his own pillow, and moved slowly and respectfully, quietly announcing what he was doing before he did it and making sure she was comfortable with each step before he made a move. Eventually, her head wound up resting on his chest and his arm was wrapped around her, and she couldn’t remember feeling that safe in a long, long time. 

 

“Just rest, JJ. I’m right here. Everything is going to be alright. We’ll get you well and go from there, okay?” His voice was a low baritone and the reassurances made her eyes well up with tears that she struggled to blink away. 

 

“Thadk you Hotch.” She choked out. There was a slight movement in his chest muscles as he nodded, and then his hand was gently moving up and down her back in a soothing motion. 

 

“Go to sleep. I’m right here.” 

 

Exhausted, JJ let her eyes close and drifted off listening to his steady heartbeat, hoping she’d stay asleep this time and not wake up in a panic, but knowing that if she did, Hotch would be there. 

 

 

[stars123]

This update was amazing!!! The physical contact at the end had me melting. Thank you!!!