Amazing Sneeze Ahead (Dark Souls - Gwynevere)

[Zracken3]

So, Elden Ring came out recently, and ya boy can’t really afford new video games right now. But, you know what I can afford? Games I already own! So I’ve been getting back into Dark Souls again to fill the void and falling in love with the series all over. I definitely recommend anyone who hasn’t tried it to do so. And, yeah, it’s hard, but I promise it’s worth it! If you like that sort of thing that is. Anyway, I wrote a story!

SPOILERS AHEAD FOR DARK SOULS

Spoiler

Everyone who’s ever played Dark Souls 1 knows Gwynevere. I love Gwynevere for all the usual reasons and more; what’s not to like about a friendly giantess in a world where everything else wants to kill you! I’ve been dying for anything sneeze-related with her and finally decided to take matters into my own hands. So, here’s that story! Please enjoy!

And for all you lore nerds out there, yes…I know she’s an illusion. I know there’s a good chance her size is exaggerated. But, to that I say…let me have this!

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    With a heavy crash, the Executioner’s titanic, armored body fell to the white, tiled floor. The potbellied corpse faded from existence, leaving behind only the magnificent soul it once contained. Standing among the ruined pillars of the cathedral, the Chosen Undead blinked and panted as the effects of adrenaline began to subside. They raised their last Estus Flask to their lips, searching for any succor, but they found nought but two measly drops. Shaking their head in frustration, they returned the empty container to their belt and slowly pressed forward. Surely a new Bonfire would show itself; they always appeared in times of great hardship.
    As they moved farther into the cathedral, the Chosen Undead laid eyes on two great statues tucked into alcoves in the far wall. They were towering objects of marble and gold, and the middle one depicted a mighty, crowned king in possession of a fearsome greatsword–Gwyn, Lord of Sunlight. To his left stood a less imposing statue of a rather buxom woman dressed in flowing garments. The Chosen Undead did not recognize her visage but supposed she must be another among the gods of Lordran.
    They pondered the icons in front of them until a mechanical churning drew their attention. Departing from the statues of the gods, they followed the noise to its origin: in the corner of the cathedral, a circular lift was moving up and down, carried by the turning and unturning of a large, screwlike device underneath it. As the platform came back down to ground level, the Chosen Undead quickly moved onto it. In a moment, they were forced upwards, staggering a bit as the elevator swiftly brought them to a new, higher floor. They just as quickly moved off of the platform, and it descended once again behind them. Ahead, a balcony hung over the ground floor, and they could now gaze at the destroyed cathedral. To their right lay…a Bonfire! They hurried over to the meager pile of ash and bones promising salvation. As they placed their hand atop the coiled sword stuck within it, the flame ignited, and they wasted no time sitting to bask in its warmth.
    The Chosen Undead felt their vitality return to them, and they eagerly filled their flasks with the Estus the Fire provided. They felt the souls they had gathered up till now invigorate them, boosting their prowess further for the challenges that yet lay ahead. Satisfied with this respite, they picked themselves back up and considered where their journey should take them next.
    Near the Bonfire, a short set of stairs led up to a grand set of carved wooden doors. A plethora of otherworldly writing dotted the floor at the top of the stairs, before the door. It all suggested to the Chosen Undead that that was the way forward. Climbing the staircase, they could see the door was decorated by carved geometry filled by floral patterns. In the center of each, a lion’s face held the shape of a knocker in its mouth. It was clear the path ahead was important, so the Chosen Undead decided to read the messages on the ground for guidance.
    “Amazing chest ahead,” one read.
    “Praise the Sun!” said another.
    A third message repeated the wisdom of the first. Clearly some impressive treasure was ahead if this many heroes across time and space felt fit to say so. Still, the Chosen Undead remained cautious; powerful objects were often guarded by powerful enemies, especially in Anor Londo. However, their concerns were assuaged by their filled Estus Flasks and the proximity of the Bonfire; they placed their hands against the great doors and leaned into them. The heavy gates groaned as they parted.
    Inside, the chamber was as lavish as the rest of the cathedral had been: marble floors and walls, gold decoration, and statues of faithful knights stood on plinths. A rosy red carpet extended from the doorway into the room, and the Chosen Undead followed it. Then, they were suddenly struck dumb by an awesome sight.
    At the other end of the room, the Sun shone brilliantly on an enormous lectus, upon which rested the breathtaking form of a beautiful, gargantuan woman nearly ten times their size! She laid on her left side across the couch, her torso propped up by a cylindrical pillow she rested her arms on. She was wrapped in flowing, white cloth ribbons embroidered in gold, some of which rolled down the couch and the dais it was perched on. Her wrists and upper arms each bore golden bracelets, and upon her head of red hair, she wore a long veil and golden pendant. Her face was stunning and held a pleasant smile, while her hips, accentuated by the ribbons wrapped around them, were presented excellently. The same could be said for her amazing chest as it bulged against the confines of her garb and the pillow on which she laid. She spoke as the Chosen Undead entered, her voice gentle and soothing, yet powerful.
    “Thou hast journey’d far, and overcome much, Chosen Undead. Come hither, child…”
    The Chosen Undead did as they were told, compelled by her grandeur. They knelt before the glowing giantess.
    “O Chosen Undead. I am Gwynevere. Daughter of Lord Gwyn; and Queen of Sunlight.”
    This must have been the goddess the statue in the cathedral depicted, only this time, the Chosen Undead was in the deity’s actual presence. They were overwhelmed with emotion. 
    At the same time, Gwynevere was developing her own strange feeling. A pungent, bothersome odor began to assault the goddess’ nose. She recognized the stench immediately: humanity. No, not the creature knelt before her, but the essence of humanity itself–the dark soul that existed within all humans. This human practically reeked of it–a testament to the Chosen Undead’s consistency in maintaining the humanity they had gathered along their way. The concentrated darkness within them was offensive to Gwynevere’s senses. Indeed, she was practically allergic to it. Yet, this same concentration of humanity was proof that they were formidable. They were likely the best candidate for the gods’ purposes, and Gwynevere did not wish to offend or banish them. She would need to hold out until her intent with them was fulfilled.
    “Since the day Father…his form di-hid obscureth, I h…have await’d thee,” she spoke.
    Already, the goddess felt the tickle strongly; her normally smooth voice was quivering at the tremendous effort she was putting into keeping her composure.
    “I be-bequeath, heeeh, th-the L-Lord…Heeeh!”
    Her head lifted slightly with her breath. She daintily lifted a finger to her nose, hoping to buy herself more time.
    “Lordvessel to th-thee,” she managed to say.
    With her other hand, Gwynevere bestowed a great-sized bowl on the Chosen Undead. They received it eagerly, still bathing in the splendor of the goddess’ light.
    “And…HEEEEEH…HEEH…beseech thee!”
    She pressed her finger harder against the bottom of her nose, but it was not working; the acrid scent continued to fill her sinuses. Her voice was starting to sound desperate as her hitching grew deeper. Her divine nostrils flared against the gnawing tickle inside of them as her chest began to heave. Breezes began to accompany her inhales and exhales, warning of the mighty power gathering within her. However, the breezes were heated by the Fire that made up her being, and the Chosen Undead was lulled into a misleading peace as the warm winds caressed them. 
    “Succ…ceEEEED…HEEEH!...L-Lord Gwyn…a-and inheri…inheri…HEEEEEEEEEH!!”
    Gwynevere nearly sneezed right then and there, but she clasped her nose shut with her hand, denying its release at the cost of sacrificing her godly demeanor. 
    “Eh...inheriteth the Fire of our w-world.”
    Her eyes started to water with the burning inside of her face. She had unpinched her nose to speak, but this meant the sneeze came back immediately. She was nearly done, and she tried to push through the last bit of her instruction.
    “Thou…HEEEEEEH!...shalt eeeeehnd this…e-EEEEE…”
    She shook her head lightly, trying anything to get rid of the sneezy feeling. Her bosom began expanding again, and her nose twitched and flared in more ways than one–she could feel the Fire swelling within her as she fought against the building urge. Her hand clasped her nose again, though the tactic was becoming less effective.
    “...eternal twilight, a-and avert further Undead…sacrifices.”
    Gwynevere wheezed out the end of her sentence. Mercifully, she was done. It was all she had to say. She waited for the Chosen Undead to be on their way so she could sneeze safely, or even hold back once the humanity was gone. However, they remained knelt before her, occasionally stealing glances upward at the goddess. They didn’t seem interested in leaving just yet.
    “O Ch-Chooosen…HEEEEEEEEEH!!...HEEEEEEH!!”
    Gwynevere didn’t know what to do. The Chosen Undead refused to leave on their own, and she couldn’t command them to leave for fear of seeming rude. Not that she was capable of issuing orders at this point anyway as her sneeze took over her speech.
    “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!...HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!”
    Gusts of balmy wind swirled around the room. To the Chosen Undead, it was paradise. To Gwynevere, it was torture. Her breasts lightly bounced as her chest expanded sharply. Her nostrils widened uncontrollably, and all her hand could do now was wave at her face. Her eyes squeezed shut before the inevitable came, and she lifted her head forebodingly. Just before it happened, her arms spread out to balance herself.
    “HEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!...HYEEEHTTSCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
    A calamitous torrent of air rushed out of Gwynevere as she sneezed, accompanied by an equally threatening surge of fire. Her chest shook as wind and flames battered the area in front of her, and the Chosen Undead was positioned to receive the brunt of it. The comparatively tiny human stood no chance, becoming caught up in the currents and thrown like a ragdoll across the room. They slammed with an earth-shuddering force against the wall behind them as their body was scorched by the glut of fire. As they fell from the wall to the floor, they groaned as their life left their body.
    The Chosen Undead awoke next to the Bonfire by the door. They had not survived Gwynevere’s sneeze, but the Undead Curse meant that they could never die permanently. Still, the experience had been most unpleasant, and they desired to reclaim their lost humanity and souls. Approaching the doors, they noticed they were shut again. The goddess’ sneeze was mighty indeed. Entering as they had before, they witnessed the majesty of fair Gwynevere for the second time as she rubbed the underside of her reddened nose. The Chosen Undead wasn’t sure what had brought about such a disastrous sneeze, but they hoped it had been coincidence; they were still interested in joining the princess’ covenant. The goddess didn’t show signs of repeating herself, so the Chosen Undead retrieved their lost power and returned to kneel before her.
    Instantly, Gwynevere knew another sneeze was coming. The human had foolishly reclaimed all of their nose-tickling humanity and brought it back towards her. Whether out of frustration over the Chosen Undead’s persistence or because she was no longer able to, Gwynevere did not hold back.
    “HEEEEEEEEEH!!...HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!”
    The Chosen Undead immediately knew what was going to happen, and, in a stroke of genius, they realized why. Gwynevere hadn’t looked like she was going to sneeze until they grabbed their humanity. Now, she was going to explode! The human immediately started to tuck and roll as fast as possible away from the goddess, both to spare her nose from the tickling and, more importantly, to spare themselves from the incoming sneeze. The winds whipped warmly as Gwynevere’s chest heaved once more.
    “HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!...HHYEEETSCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
    The sneeze brought with it another cascade of wind and burning. It blasted towards the Chosen Undead, catching them in the back and launching them out of the doors to the bottom of the steps. The great doors slammed shut again, and the Chosen Undead laid motionless on the floor. Eventually, they picked themselves back up. They had survived, if only barely. They took refuge next to the Bonfire once again before returning to the doors. They had no intention of going inside–their presence would undoubtedly trigger another sneeze–but they looked once more at the writing on the floor.
    “Amazing chest ahead”
    “Try holding with both hands”
    They nodded to themselves. They now understood the signs as attempts at humor rather than wisdom. Deciding to go against the grain, they added their own message, one which they hoped might aid others when their journeys brought them here. It read:
    “Be wary of humanity”

Edited April 28, 2022 by Zracken3

[Raistlin]

Ok, now this has me thinking about Malenia and exactly what keeping her curse of scarlet rot under control involves. Maybe the fight where she gave in and cursed a whole region by releasing its power wasn't so much an act of desperation in a loosing battle, as a tough fight taking her concentration off the scarlet rot's "writhing" in her sinuses. . .

[Sneeze37]

do a part 2

 

[NickG1998]

Definitely please do a part 2 I really enjoy this wonderful story please update whenever you can there’s no rush at all please take your time 

[NoV]

Never even played Dark Souls, but I very much enjoyed reading this. Your writing is really good, and reads well - would love to read more if you felt like continuing it  

[Zracken3]

@Raistlin That sounds interesting! Somebody else would have to tackle that one as I am not overly familiar with Elden Ring just yet. But I know Malenia has quite the reputation!

@NoV@NickG1998 @Sneeze37 Thank you for the kind words, NoV and NickG, and for everyone's interest in a continuation. I'm not sure what such a thing would look like, however, as this character has less than two dozen lines of dialogue in-game, and this is pretty much the only interaction you have with her at all.

[MiraKarat]

Please, more! Gwynevere's just gorgeous, I'm so in love🥺 I want her to step on me since my first time trying to play🥺

[SneezeloveronGirls]

I LOVE this, I hope that you do a Part 2, Possibly with Crossbreed Priscilla.

[Y31]

Really enjoyed this story!  Not much of a souls player but Gwynevere is just too sexy and I love giantesses sneezing.  Keep up the great work!

[SneezeLucario]

On 5/30/2022 at 6:40 AM, SneezeloveronGirls said:

I LOVE this, I hope that you do a Part 2, Possibly with Crossbreed Priscilla.

I agree, Souls games have multiple choices possible (Priscilla, The Firekeeper,Sister Friede...) but other Fromsoftware games have their share of ladies too.

 

On 5/2/2022 at 9:17 AM, Zracken3 said:

@Raistlin That sounds interesting! Somebody else would have to tackle that one as I am not overly familiar with Elden Ring just yet. But I know Malenia has quite the reputation!

Malenia is a great choice yeah. Fia and Rennala too but the choice is yours😊.

[something-instinctual]

LOVED this @Zracken3  Thanks for sharing! 

I think I’ll take on writing a Malenia fic. Definitely something Elden Ring focused… I have ideas brewing involving  the Perfumers. Will definitely share with this community once it all comes together! 

[Liath.two]

YES! Always love a good destructive fit, there should be more! 

[RickyCasty]

Wow, this is the best story I've ever read here! We definitely need a sequel, maybe based on another important souls character (Priscilla maybe, or Friede?) 😍

[Raistlin]

On 7/6/2022 at 9:56 PM, something-instinctual said:

LOVED this @Zracken3  Thanks for sharing! 

I think I’ll take on writing a Malenia fic. Definitely something Elden Ring focused… I have ideas brewing involving  the Perfumers. Will definitely share with this community once it all comes together! 

Still feeling inspired to do Malenia? I've been playing with some ideas for her too, be glad to bounce thoughts back and forth, see if one of us maybe gets the motivation to take a swing at it. 

[Snakebyte]

Great idea for a giantess fic, and very well executed at that!