For Now (Stranger Things, Steve)

[Skylacticon]

Hey! So I’ve been working on this for a while, it started off a bit short in continuation to my other post, but then as it eventually got longer I thought I’d post it on its own. Y’all know I love Steve, and I think he has a great bond with Nancy, romantic or not. In this, for the most part it’ll be the two of them. Also, I apologize if it's not the most realistic.

 

 

[SPOILER ALERT - STRANGER THINGS S4]

 

So this part is meant to take place after the Steve, Nancy and Robin attack Vecna in the Upside Down, and then head back to the trailer.

 

—

 

 

Steve was coughing by the time they reached the gate. His throat was itchy. It was painful. But all he cared about was that they all made it back across.

 

Nearly all of them.

 

Unable to speak, he boosted Robin up through the ceiling. The mattress had already set up by Dustin earlier. He gritted his teeth as his side gave a dull ache, but with a push upward, she was able to reach the gate’s edge. Once she’d fallen through, his gaze connected with Nancy. He nodded. A flicker of something - hesitation, worry - met her eyes, as if she’d noticed his small grimace. “Come on,” he breathed. She nodded. Her hand and the sole of her shoe pressed into him as he lifted, and pushing upward, he was able to boost her through to the other side. He barely felt the pressure bearing into his side as she went through safely.

 

Panting, Steve turned to Dustin, who was lingering at the door of the trailer. “Dustin,” he choked out, triggering a string of coughs. They hurt combined with the lump in his throat. Blinking back tears, he called out, more firmly. “Dustin.”

 

Dustin finally let his gaze turn back to Steve’s. Steve swallowed, seeing the gleam in both eyes. “We can’t just leave him,” Dustin’s voice was thick, in a painful, unfamiliar way.

 

“Dustin, come on,” he tried to keep himself straight, spare for the rasp in his voice. His throat hurt with a mixture of sadness and something vile, emotions rising below the surface and threatening to spill out. He fought to endure it, stepping toward his friend. “Come on, we gotta go.” He said more gently, extending an arm around Dustin to usher him towards the portal.

 

“But Steve, we can’t just leave him here-“ He was crying again, pushing away.

 

“Hey, -ow,” By accident, Dustin hit him near the wound on his abdomen, and Steve reeled back, wincing.

 

“I’m sorry,” Dustin sobbed. He came over to check if he was okay, which Steve assured him he was. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you, are you-“

 

“I’m fine, man, I’m fine.” Steve tossed a look skyward, meeting the eyes of the girls across the portal.

 

With some beckoning from Nancy and Robin, Steve managed to heave Dustin back through the portal. Once he was through, and the others took a moment to help Dustin to his feet, Steve peeked under his shirt. The replacement bandage was dark in colour, and warm. He quickly dropped the hem of his shirt and looked up.

 

“Steve, are you able to climb?” Somehow they’d managed to tied the rope of sheets back together, and Nancy looked ready to throw one end through the portal.

 

He stepped to the side. “Yeah, send it.” He coughed again, cringing at the croaky sound of his voice. The white rope of fabric came hurtling through. With effort, he managed to climb up to the ceiling - and fall back out of it, onto Eddie’s mattress.

 

Steve back hit the surface hard. He closed his eyes for a second. His heartbeat was reaching up to behind his eyes, pounding in his head.

 

-

 

There was pain.

 

Nancy had insisted that Steve go to the hospital to be checked out after what happened, but he just wanted to go home and shower. He’d been a man of sport, taken on some weird and gross challenges in his life but something about the atmosphere in the Upside down had left him feeling dirty, and he wanted to wash it off as soon as possible. She settled for having him come over to her house, so she could keep an eye on him.

 

It was late by the time everyone got home. Steve cleared his throat again. It was still sore from whatever was floating around in the Upside Down - as least he still chalked it up to be. He leaned on the counter of the Wheeler’s small guest bathroom, gingerly tilting his head from side to side. He hadn’t noticed much before, but his neck was lined with scratches and dried blood, red where the bat had tried to strangle him. He exhaled and slowly took off his green camouflage-patterned shirt, bracing himself to check out the bandage on his abdomen. The bandage had already soaked up some blood, but it didn’t look too scary, at least it was somewhat dry, meaning the bleeding must have stopped. Gently, he peeled back the gauze. It still hurt a bit, but it didn’t look too serious - nothing to get panicked over. Still, it was deep. He sighed, beginning to reconsider both Nancy and Robin’s suggestions to see a doctor. He turned slightly, to look at his back - remembering the moment when he’d stumbled in the woods. There were scratches - long, gnarly scratches with fine, dark scabbed lines. They didn’t really hurt that much now, but he saw now why Eddie was looking at him like that.

 

He stripped down and got into the shower, which had gotten warm a while ago. He ran his fingers through his hair, willing the dirt and sweat and grime to wash away. The scratches stung as they got wet, but they had to be clean to heal. He took a breath and held it, turning so that the bite on his side could get rinsed.

 

He let the water run over his face, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt the emotion begin to rise in him again. He coughed as some of the water got up his nose, stinging his sore throat. A sudden burning sensation appeared at the back of his sinuses, and he leaned a hand on the tiled wall. “Huh’ESCHhiu!!” The sneeze came more harshly than he expected, clawing at his throat and making his eyes water. He drew in a gasp as the itch lingered, and pitched forward once more. “Huh’ESCHH!!” He quickly rubbed his nose in a pinch, and attempted to clear his throat again, regretting it as it seemed to do nothing but pain him. He turned off the water, and grabbed a towel off the hook.

 

A soft knock came on the door. “Steve, you okay?” Nancy. Steve began to dry himself, trying to snap out of his thoughts.

 

“Yeah,” he finally rasped. ‘Fuck’, he swore mentally, glancing down to see a thin trail of blood running from the bite on his abdomen.

 

“There’s some gauze in the white drawer,” Nancy said kindly, from outside the door. “and some rubbing alcohol, if you-“

 

The door clicked open. Nancy glanced up, a bit surprised, as a thin strip of light from the bathroom appeared. Steve stood in front of the mirror, a pale blue towel wrapped around his waist. His eyes were red, glassy, blinking as his gaze shifted downward. He sniffled softly, turning. One hand was at his side, shaking slightly. There were small dots of red where the towel wrapped at the waist.

 

“Sorry, I-“ It occurred to Nancy that both his hands were bloody, carefully hovering around his person. “Would you mind getting the…”

 

“Yeah,” Nancy replied softly. First, she grabbed a clean face towel, and wet it a little under the tap to clean the blood off his hands. She lowered the cloth to his stomach. “You mind if I-“ Steve nodded. As gently as she could, she dabbed gently at the blood that had run down from the dark bite holes. Steve diverted his gaze, letting out a slow exhale. “Steve, you-“

 

“-should see a doctor, I know.” He tilted his head back, burying his face in his hands. Tired. He was just tired, that was it. Nancy sighed inwardly, rinsing the cloth. “hrr’RRSCHhm!!” His frame shuddered with a harsh sneeze. Nancy blinked, and glanced up at Steve, whose hands were slowly lowering from his face. He sniffled softly and wiped his eyes with his palms. “Sorry.”

 

“Bless you,” she said quietly. “You okay?”

 

He cleared his throat. “Yeah. Yeah. ‘S just the dust and shit from the Upside Down. *snf* ‘s nothing.”

 

Nancy recalled him getting a sore throat both times they’d been through the Upside Down. It had been a pretty cold and rotted environment. Although it didn’t seem to affect her that much.

 

“Okay,” Nancy said softly, dousing a clean end of the face towel with the rubbing alcohol. “Sorry, this is probably gonna hurt.” Steve just nodded. Gently, she dabbed around the dark wound. The pain lit aflame for a second, and his stomach shrank with a quick exhale. Nancy finished fast and covered it up with some fresh gauze.

 

Steve watched as she put away the first aid things, and picked up the cloth that needed washing. “Thanks,” he said softly.

 

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll uh, let you get dressed.”

 

Steve sniffed and turned away, as Nancy drifted back towards the door. He went back to leaning on the counter, staring at the knobs on the sink. Nancy’s hand lingered on the door. She peeked back at Steve, his broad shoulders hunched over the sink, streaked with scratches. His dark hair hung over his eyes, which seemed to stare into oblivion. His nose twitched with another sniffle. Quietly, she shut the door behind her.

 

“huh’rRSCHh!!” The moment the door closed, Steve pinched his nostrils and pitched forward with another sneeze. He sniffled, and rubbed roughly at his nose. Nancy had given him a set of Mike’s clothes to borrow - a striped red and yellow t-shirt and some green sweatpants. He couldn’t say it was exactly his style, but after everything that happened, it was the least of his worries.

 

Quietly, he came downstairs. Nancy’s parents were upstairs, and Holly was already sound asleep. Mike was still with the Byers. They still hadn’t been able to get ahold of them. For now, the lower level of the house was empty, quiet. All the lights were off, except for the warm light coming from the dining room lamp above the table. Steve walked in to see Nancy by the fridge.

 

“What’s this?” He found a small white pill on the table, next to a glass of water.

 

“Allergy medicine.” Nancy replied, pouring herself some juice. “For you.”

 

Steve blinked down at the glass. “I-I don’t-“

 

“Mold, Steve. Spores. The stuff floating around in the Upside Down. I think you’re allergic.”

 

Steve scoffed, almost humoured by the idea. “Nance, I’m not allergic to mold.”

 

“Yeah? Well it’s been a few hours since we got back and you haven’t stopped sneezing. Just take it.” A beat. "It's a common allergy."

 

Steve snapped. “You think you’re so smart, that you figured this out, too?”

 

There was an edge in Steve’s voice that Nancy knew too well. She diverted her gaze. “Steve, come on.”

 

“No, it’ll make me drowsy.”

 

“Well good!” Nancy turned to look at him, eyes staring pointedly. “You've been up for what, two days? If you’re not going to sleep, I’m taking you to the hospital. So help me,” Concern shone through as she spoke sternly. He’d been the driver for the whole journey. The others had had the chance to sleep during the drive and probably were right now, after all that went down.

 

Steve was quiet for a moment. He didn’t know if he could sleep at the moment if he tried, drugs or not. He knew his parents would be at home waiting for him, and he’d been gone for the past couple of days without telling them anything. He didn’t know if he was ready to face that, in the state he was, and he was too tired to think about it. He sniffled, and pressed the back of his hand against his nose and mouth, as he felt a familiar burn in his sinuses. Nancy’s demeanour softened a bit, realizing grief in his stature. She slowly turned back to what she was doing - twisting the cap back on the juice bottle.

 

Steve lifted the crook of his arm to his face. “huh’ISCHHiu-!!” He winced, the sneeze having torn through him, barely bringing relief. “h’RRESCHhiu!!” He mentally cursed, wishing they hadn’t been so loud.

 

Nancy sighed, her eyes closing. “Steve,” she said quietly.

 

“Yeah,” he sniffled, defeated. “Yeah, fine.” He sat at the Wheeler’s dining table, tossing the pill into his mouth and swallowing it with a gulp of water. “I’m sorry,” he breathed, his sore gaze lingering on the table. Nancy was quiet as she put the juice back in the fridge, and took her glass to the dining table. Steve took a longer breath, running his fingers through his damp hair. He stared along the shadowed ceiling, imagining the empty trailer across town.

 

Nancy sat down, watching as Steve’s face grew dark with contemplation. “I still… can’t believe…” He faintly shook his head. “I fucking told him, Nance,” he said shakily.

 

“Hey,” she breathed, reaching for him.

 

His hands came down to rest on the table. “Maybe- if I hadn’t said it that way-“ his head tilted slightly, eyes glassy.

 

Nancy squeezed his hand. “Hey. Come on.”

 

Steve began to cough and turned away from her, as they rattled his sore throat. Nancy reached out a hand to gently rub his back, and pushed the glass of water nearer. The fit ended, and he panted, sniffling wetly. He gave a resigned sigh. “Maybe you’re right.” Steve croaked, wincing.

 

Nancy felt too bad for an ‘I told you so’, so she just urged him to take a sip of water.

 

“What… what do we do now?” he found himself muttering his thoughts out loud. “What do we say about- about-“

 

“I don’t know.” Nancy concluded, staring blankly across the tabletop. It was a mutual lowering of the guard. It was honest.

 

The two fell into a silence that for the first time in a while, lasted long enough that they could breathe, and feel somewhat safe. Maybe not safe. But at least somewhat stronger, with the comfort of each other’s company. Steve wrinkled his nose and rubbed it roughly.

 

“That shit really not affect you?” He gave a half-hearted jab, leaning away from the table and lifting the crook of his arm. “Hah’ESSCHhioo!! Jesus, I’m sorry.” A tired, less restrained sneeze, which after a couple of seconds he realized had to be heard by Nancy’s parents upstairs. He straightened up, wiping moisture from his eyes, which soon led to rubbing.

 

“Bless you. Hey, don’t do that, it’ll make it worse.” Nancy said gently. Steve grunted and dropped his hand. “It was kind of bothering me a little,” she admitted, her gaze fixed on her cup. “But it went away after we got back. Mold’s an irritant and an allergen. So either way, not great to be inhaling it.”

 

Steve missed hearing her talk like this, in an intellectual manner, it was endearing and soothing in a way. “That’s so lame, imagine being allergic to a whole alternate universe.” He rasped casually.

 

“Well, you can take medicine for it.”

 

“Yeah, but what movie protagonist has to do that shit before their quest?”

 

“Okay, Indiana Jones.”

 

“Right? I was this close to nailing the role.”

 

Nancy couldn’t help the small grin from tugging at the corners of her lips. As they sat quietly, grief hung over the both of them like an invisible veil, and they knew that there were things that they had no way of sharing or resolving beyond themselves. Not in a town so closed off to the truth, clinging to beliefs that would stand against them and their friends. There was so much that they needed to figure out in order to save Hawkins - and the world, moreover. But for now they sat alone together in the Wheeler’s warmly lit dining room, in the quiet that the night had granted them.

[emma]

Oh my GOD 🤤  This got me. Please continue!!

[Ivorygrace27]

This just about made me cry. You are such a wonderful writer…not just the spellings (which are great too) but also your style and imagery in the words…

The random part where you wrote how Steve’s heartbeat rose up behind his eyes….just really eloquent and the imagery is so raw and real. Thank you so much for writing this and i hope you write more

[Prongs]

I love everything about this! The subtle caretaking, the descriptions of their actions, her reaction to the situation, (especially) the sneezes, him apologizing after he sneezes, literally everything in this is my cup of tea! You are an excellent writer. Hoping for a continuation! 

[Mygyn]

Thank you for sharing! This was a great read!

[ThatSneezyGirl]

Your writing is amazing 😍 so excited for more!!

[Skylacticon]

Hey y’all. Thank you so much for all the nice comments, I’m glad you like it so far. This has really just been me trying to fill in the blanks and it is a bit hard trying to write within time in the canon, though I’d like to think they’d gotten a little closer in the process.

Here's the next part in continuation. Beware the angst/sadness/drama this series implies (though I love it so much anyway )

-

 

 

Steve sat on the couch in the Wheeler’s basement, leaning forward and running his fingers through his hair. He stared at the opposite wall, at the desk and chair across the room. He had given up all hope of falling asleep.

 

He crossed his arms over his chest, reaching around to his back under his shirt, running his fingers over the hard ridges of scars and scratches. It all happened so fast - at first he thought he was done for, the moment he felt something close around his ankle and yank him down into the lake - but all of a sudden he was on the other side being dragged on his back, and the moment he could get a breath of air, he found himself being strangled - then fed on, by vicious bat-like creatures.

 

His hands travelled down to his abdomen, where the teeth of the bats had sunk deep, causing a new level of pain he never knew existed. Eddie’s face flashed in his mind - and how his hands gripped tight around Dustin, because the bats were waking up, they would have hurt him, and he himself was lucky enough to have survived their attacks. He had to get Dustin out of there, he had to get them all out of there, because he wasn’t going to lose anyone else. But he could still see him lying there. There was nothing he could have done. He made a call for them to leave as quickly as possible because he knew Vecna wasn’t dead, and he wasn’t going to take any chances.

 

Steve took a deep inhale, and released it, a feeling of restlessness trembling within him. He felt like he should be grieving - but where would it be coming from? He’d known the guy existed during his time in high school, but he’d never interacted with him until now. He just wished that he could go back, he wished that he’d done what he’d said, he wished he’d never told him not to be a hero.

 

And that was the reason he was standing in front of Nancy’s bedroom door, in the wee hours of the night. Despite what was left hanging between them, what he’d told her in the woods. It all seemed irrelevant right now.

 

The door opened ajar. Nancy's face appeared, framed by her curly hair, looking tired but not from being awoken. “Can’t sleep?” was all she said - barely a whisper. She could’ve said it with her eyes, for all he knew, because the moment he felt her presence, it seemed to unlock the strange concoction of emotions he’d been keeping back for the past few hours.

 

Steve shook his head, his chin low. She pulled the door back so he could come in, and closed it softly. He took in a shaky breath, looking up at the ceiling. It had been a long time since he’d cried - let alone in front of someone else. He sat on the edge near the foot of Nancy’s bed, and she sat next to him, close enough that their arms touched. Steve sniffled - and rubbed roughly at his nose, turning away as his eyes became blurry with tears.

 

“Is your throat any better?” she asked him gently. No, it wasn’t. It was burning, and lump in his throat was more present than ever, nearly making him choke.

 

“Yeah,” he whispered, sniffling again, wondering if he could shake this off, wondering if a person could stop crying the second after they allowed it to happen.

 

“You know, Steve,” Nancy began softly. A hot tear fell and made a dark spot on the front of Steve's sweatpants. Another sniffle, this time more wet, as he wiped his face but made no other sound. Her hand slipped over his free hand and squeezed it tightly. “Two years ago when I pointed that gun in your face… I was so afraid that things wouldn’t make sense to you. That everything I was risking my life to try and kill - the things that killed my best friend - might just kill you too, and so, I wanted you as far away as possible. Because... nobody was listening to me. And it was so dangerous, and… unexplainable. And it’s still so unexplainable.”

 

There was no stopping it. The tears kept running, but he still stayed quiet, except for the frequent damp sniffling.

 

“And I just don’t… do well with that. That’s why I got myself fired - both me and Jonathan - from our jobs as interns at the Hawkins Post, last year. Because I hate loose ends. Sometimes when you go chasing after the unexplainable,” she paused, glancing from his hand in hers to his glassy eyes. “You need someone to have your back. Someone who knows you.”

 

As her eyes met his, they fluttered downward for a second, then he turned away quickly with a wet, desperate-sounding sneeze. “Hehh’ttsCHIEWW!! *snrff* Fuck. Fuck, I’m sorry,” he uttered, hating the way his voice sounded, feeling absolutely gross for sneezing freely like that.

 

“Bless you. Hey. You have nothing to apologize for.” Nancy purred softly in his ear, her other hand now rubbing gently in circles on his lower back.

 

‘That was wrong,’ he thought. ‘I do’. But it got buried deep as he wiped his face, his breath still hitching on quiet sobs. It was all that filled the silence for the next few moments, as Nancy kept rubbing his back, leaning her head on his shoulder.

 

“I’m really, really glad that we know each other.” Nancy whispered. She continued calmly as Steves frame shook against hers. “I’m glad that I didn’t shoot you,” that earned a snort of a laugh through soft sobs, and she smiled softly, still holding onto his hand.

 

Steve shook his head. “I… I-I could’ve…” he choked out softly.

 

“Hey.” She breathed, leaning into him. “We did our best.” He listened, squeezing her hand in return.

 

He sniffled, and less off guard, he turned away to sneeze again. “hrr’ESCHhiuh!! *snrf, snf* ‘Scuse me.” Like before, it was naturally loud, powerful, and she felt the shudder against her. She knew that her parents or Holly might hear, but it didn’t matter that much, as long as he wasn’t still trying to keep them in.

 

“Bless you,” she said softly, her gaze drifting across the wall over her posters. “Dustin’s safe. Robin’s safe. Lucas and Erica.”

 

“Max,” Steve croaked, his eyes full of guilt. They’d taken a huge risk to let her go and allow the fiend into her mind, and he had nearly killed her.

 

“Max survived,” Nancy said quietly. Things could have been worse. There were very little positives that she could think of other than that. She zoned out into her thoughts for a moment, but blinked back to reality, looking over at him. “Here,” she pulled away for a moment to grab the tissue box off her nightstand and handed it to him.

 

“Thanks. *snf*” He pulled a couple to dry his face, then blew his nose softly.

 

Luckily, the itch was dying down and his throat wasn’t hurting as bad as before. He took a deep breath and hoped that he was done crying - he hadn’t gotten to say anything about Eddie, which was why he was here in the first place - although he wasn’t even sure what he would say. He sniffled, exhausted, and glanced down at the covers on her bed.

 

“Does it hurt you to lie down?” she asked gently, after a few seconds. Between the scratches on his back and the bites on his front, resting in some way didn’t seem easy.

 

“Um,” he hesitated slightly, as she made room for him on the bed. It had been a while up until their quest to hunt down Vecna that they’d been in the same room, let alone the same bed. She just stared at him, looking concerned. “I-It’s just mostly my shoulder blades, but… I can probably lie on my back.” he responded softly. Nancy took a few pillows and made a small incline against the headboard.

 

“If you rest your back here, is that okay?”

 

Steve walked around to the other side of the bed and sat, lifting both of his feet up. He slowly reclined on the pillows. Nancy gave him a pillow to rest his head on, so less of the pressure would be on his upper back. He exhaled, sinking into the nest of pillows.

 

“That good?”

 

“Yeah,” he breathed, honestly feeling a bit better now.

 

Nancy laid down beside him, a few mere inches apart. After a few seconds- "'Night."

 

Steve snuck a glance at her without moving his head. "'Night." 

 

The two lay in silence, listening to each other’s breath and the soft chorus of crickets outside the window. Steve closed his eyes for a bit, trying for her sake to sleep - still, it wasn’t that easy. His eyelids fluttered open. His gaze fell upon her wallpaper, pink and white stripes, the lines reaching from the floor to the ceiling. Something out of a Barbie dollhouse, yet somehow she made it seem sophisticated. It was a little terrifying to Steve just how safe he felt in the moment. Or maybe he just didn’t want to be alone. He remembered again what he’d said to her in the woods - how all of it was true. Lying next to her, wanting nothing else, it seemed so easy. To just be together.

 

Steve’s chest rose and fell with another slow breath. He closed his eyes, trying to let his thoughts fall away. To relax and not think about how much more he wanted.

 

She was here, and that was enough.

[Prongs]

I want to cry, this is so good and sad and angsty and poor Steve…this is totally on point with how episode 9 ended. I just finished it 2 days ago (I knew the spoilers beforehand) but damn. This really captures how I felt about losing Eddie, but from Steve’s pov, and with some delicious sneezes and Nancy caretaking. Whether or not they end up together, there was definitely chemistry this season. Thank you for this! 

[Ivorygrace27]

This was so sweet and i just about cried.  I love your writing and I hope you continue this! Thank you so much