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Friends with colds


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A few years back I stayed round my friends' house one weekend. I'll refer to them as S and A. S is tall and dark-haired, with a slim build. A, his wife is a sort of honey-blonde and averagely built.

When I checked in with A a few days before I arrived, she wrote back "Just a heads up, S has been feeling kinda under the weather, nothing serious- just a cold I think- but he wouldn't want to get you sick so please don't feel bad about taking a rain check!" I wrote back assuring her I didn't mind- she and I were going to see a band I'd been dying to see for ages, plus I couldn't pass up the opportunity to witness some sneezes..

I headed to theirs that Friday evening. A opened the door and pulled me into a bear hug. S was sitting in the lounge in a tracksuit and dressing gown. When I came in he stood up. "Good to see you- A probably warned you.." His voice was stuffy and I could see his nose had a pink tinge to it. "Don't worry, I won't get too close!" A gave his shoulder a sympathetic squeeze. "S always does this- overworks himself til he's run down, don't ya bub?" S looked at me sheepishly. "She's right.." A picked up my bag despite my protesting. "You better take it easy tonight, no getting the work laptop out!" S thrust his hands in his pockets and sniffled. "Yes, ma'am.."  I told him I hoped he'd feel better soon and A and I went upstairs to get ready for the concert, leaving S watching a movie downstairs. As we did our hair and makeup, I filled A in on my week. She gathered her hair into a ponytail and secured it with a scrunchie. Then suddenly she froze and an itchy expression crossed her face. "Oh.. one sec, I'm gonna.." she hitched briefly "Ahh.. ahh" and her nose went a soft pink as her nostrils flared. Then she snapped forward and released a big sneeze into her cupped hands. It was breathy and elegant with three syllables, sort of like AH-KSHH-UUU!  "Wow, bless me!" she said. "My nose has been bothering me all day. I hope I'm not coming down with S's cold.." I had nothing to say, I was too busy trying to hide my excitement at that display.. 

We had a great time at the concert- we got a taxi home and got in at 2am. We crashed pretty much straight away and woke up around noon. We ate a late breakfast with S, who seemed a little better than yesterday. "How was the concert?" he asked me, and I told him how they'd played our favourite songs, the joyous crowds and A and I singing along all night. "Ah, so that's why you're so hoarse today.." he teased her. "Ha ha." said A, mock-seriously, and I noticed a roughness to her voice. "You feeling any better today, babe?" He ran a hand through his hair. "Kind of.. I slept for 12 whole hours last night!" A looked at him, feigning shock. "Wow, 12! That's really something." S is famous for his chaotic sleep schedule; he once stayed up for two days straight during exams at college. "I know right, I think I'm headed for the World Records.." 

It was clear S wasn't fully recovered though, because I was soon treated to a display.. The two of them were cleaning up at the counter, her washing dishes and him drying when S took a sharp breath, put down the plate he was holding and turned to the side. "Ahhh.." he looked up at the light with a wonderfully sneezy expression. "Uh oh, here we go.." said A. S took another hitching breath, looking like the tickle was torturing him. He appeared to lose it, then suddenly exploded with a wet, powerful: AHH-KCHOOO! that bent him double and left him dazed. "Bless you, baby!" said A, but he was already gearing up for another. "Ahh.. ahhh.. HISHOOO! PSH-OOO!" these he muffled into his sleeve. "Gesundheit.." I said, trying to act concerned, but it was very hard. S looked spent by the sneezes- he pulled out his handkerchief and blew his nose thoroughly. "Thank you.." he said stuffily. "As you can see, this cold is still kicking my ass.." A turned to him. "Go lie down, S" she said, and I offered to take over drying from him. He didn't take much convincing. But as he was crossing the kitchen he was seized by the tickle again- he stopped in his tracks and tilted his head to the ceiling in helpless anticipation. "Gonna.. snee.. HUP-TISHOOO!" this time I saw a little spray escape his mouth. "Bless you- poor baby" said A.

We spent the rest of the day watching films, the two of them curled up together on the sofa with a blanket, me in the armchair. From time to time, S's nose would start tickling and he'd have to turn away to let out a big wet sneeze into his battered handkerchief. On one such occasion, I heard his breath catch- I was trying to focus on the movie, but I couldn't help but steal a sneaky glance at S- his strong nose was tinged dark pink and he rubbed it irritatedly as he tried to fight the tickle. Then, I heard A start to hitch. "Ahhh" she went, and I was spellbound, watching them both suspended in sneezy desperation. "Oh.. I think I'm gonna.." said A breathlessly, but S beat her to it, spraying loudly into the handkerchief he held to his nose: "HA-TISHH-OOO!! HAH-RISHH-OOO!!" I was amazed but managed to stammer "Wow, God bless you.." Meanwhile, A's tickly nose was still teasing her. She fanned a hand in front of her face. Then, she sniffed and this seemed to set it off; all of a sudden she exploded with a powerful, feminine and uncovered "AHH-KSSHH-OOO!" S was looking at her with a concerned expression. "Bless you, A.. sounds like you're catching my cold.." I could see A wanted to deny it, but she and I knew he was right..

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What a blessing to be able to witness all of that! Thank you for sharing, and I hope you don't catch the cold yourself!

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  • 2 weeks later...

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