Stifles followed by awkward conversation/argument about stifles - F

[Brooks]

I have a friend who I'll call Crystal because she has pretty, crystal blue eyes.  Crystal is about 5'6", slender, has long light brown hair, a cute petite nose, and a cute tight butt.  I've known Crystal for a long time.  She is a perennial stifler and I've never seen her let out a sneeze before.  She stifles evenly in two ways, they're either pinched-nose stifles that sound like 'huh-mmpp' or hands-free stifles where she stifles by tightening her facial muscles that sound like 'huh-ngkxt'.  She usually sneezes 2-3 times but I love her stifled sneeze fits because she constantly switches back and forth from pinched-nose stifles to hands-free stifles 

Crystal's BF along with a lot of other people have told Crystal that it's bad to hold her sneezes in and Crystal always responds by saying 'that's just how I sneeze' but the conversation has never gone beyond that.  One time Crystal responded by saying 'I don't want to let my sneezes out'. 

One night Crystal, BF, and I went out to eat.  Crystal stifled 4 sneezes. The first two sneezes were rapid-fire hands-free stifles and the other two sneezes were pinched-nose stifles. BF blessed her and said her usual "You shouldn't hold your sneezes in.  It's bad for you"  Crystal responded with her usual "That's just how I sneeze".  I thought the conversation would end there like it always does but BF started to tell Crystal why it's bad to hold your sneezes in but no matter what she would say Crystal's response was "That's just how I sneeze".  BF seemed to get mad at Crystal for saying the same thing over and over and that's when the conversation turned into a heated argument.  BF was saying things like 'Why do you hold your sneezes in if it's bad for you', 'I don't understand why you hold your sneezes in', 'It makes no sense that you hold your sneezes in'.  Crystal got defensive and this time when she said 'That's just how I sneeze' she said it with more anger.  

On the outside I tried to appear as if the conversation had no effect on me but on the inside I wanted to crawl into a hole and not hear this conversation anymore.  In the end, BF finally gave up and Crystal ended the argument by saying 'That's just how I sneeze'.

Does anyone have an opinion on this?  If someone sneezes in a way that you think is bad for them, do you tell them or just let them sneeze how they want to?

[Melody]

That is sooo awkward omg. I don't think I'd want to witness a conversation like that.

I honestly don't think there is a bad way to sneeze? I mean stifles aren't comfortable imo, but it's not like it's bad for the person or anything. I probably wouldn't say anything and let people live their life. No one likes being told what to do, and that includes sneezing lol.

[Heathcliff]

I would certainly feel very awkward being around friends having a conversation like that. It seems kind of an odd thing to have an argument over but I suppose couples sometimes argue over lots of weird things.

I’m sure I’ve read somewhere that’s it’s unhealthy to hold your sneezes in like that, but it’s not like you see people collapsing in the street from stifling their sneezes every day of the week so I don’t believe it’s *that* bad for you. 

[NoV]

This is the sort of conversation that would have made me want to disappear into a hole in the ground when I was younger, but I think I could just about cope with it now   

[Honkytonklagoon]

It sounds like there was something going on that this subject was covering for. Are you closer to Crystal than you are to her BF? You might have the opportunity to take her side and in a friendly way tell her that how she sneezes is such a small thing in the scheme of things that it isn't worth arguing about or changing.

[Stormer235]

I've never understood why people could get upset about the way a person sneezes unless they sneeze like, super obnoxiously loud. This argument really does seem like a brick wall on both sides. I don't think stifling is really that unhealthy either, I figured the issue was more with partial stifles from what I know, but I haven't really looked into it that much.

[Saimou]

As a fan of loud sneezes, I can understand stifles being frustrating to witness, if you’re a fetishist; but saying the same thing over and over again is not gonna lead anywhere. Besides; in a sensible debate, you would try to get onto a common ground and then go from there. You know, using premises that both parties can agree on. But here, Crystal’s BF seemed to base their whole argument on 2 premises: 1: It’s bad to hold in one’s sneezes. 2: Crystal was holding in her sneezes. Neither of which Crystal seemed to agree; so, that’s, inevitably, going to be a fruitless argument. 

[Brooks]

Thank you for your input. I agree that there was probably something else brewing between the two of them.

I've always had mixed feelings about this because I personally don't know anyone who has harmed themselves by stifling their sneezes but I've heard that there is a possibility that it can happen but very unlikely. 

@Honkytonklagoon To answer your question, yes I am closer to Crystal than BF. In case you were wondering she has still been stifling her sneezes since the argument. The only thing that has changed is that now when Crystal stifles her sneezes in front of BF there's a long, uncomfortable silence where time does not seem to exist. 

[Honkytonklagoon]

6 hours ago, Brooks said:

Thank you for your input. I agree that there was probably something else brewing between the two of them.

I've always had mixed feelings about this because I personally don't know anyone who has harmed themselves by stifling their sneezes but I've heard that there is a possibility that it can happen but very unlikely. 

@Honkytonklagoon To answer your question, yes I am closer to Crystal than BF. In case you were wondering she has still been stifling her sneezes since the argument. The only thing that has changed is that now when Crystal stifles her sneezes in front of BF there's a long, uncomfortable silence where time does not seem to exist. 

Brooks, thanks for the update. I'm secretly glad that she didn't stop stifling. Since you're a real person in this relationship. how do you feel about her stifling?

[Brooks]

@Honkytonklagoon I'm with you. I'm also kinda glad that she has not stopped stifling her sneezes. Part of me has wanted to talk to her about it but I'm not comfortable talking about sneezing.  

In general, her stifling doesn't bother me that much. If that's how she wants to sneeze then I guess I shouldn't have a problem with it but in the back of my mind I've always hoped that nothing bad would happen to her because of it.

[Honkytonklagoon]

7 hours ago, Brooks said:

@Honkytonklagoon I'm with you. I'm also kinda glad that she has not stopped stifling her sneezes. Part of me has wanted to talk to her about it but I'm not comfortable talking about sneezing.  

In general, her stifling doesn't bother me that much. If that's how she wants to sneeze then I guess I shouldn't have a problem with it but in the back of my mind I've always hoped that nothing bad would happen to her because of it.

I can see that you're pretty concerned for her. That has to make the experience of watching her sneeze uncomfortable. I understand better now what you're dealing with. Even if you talked to her about it, you wouldn't get any further than her boyfriend did.

[Rick]

On 11/30/2022 at 6:49 PM, Brooks said:

Thank you for your input. I agree that there was probably something else brewing between the two of them.

I've always had mixed feelings about this because I personally don't know anyone who has harmed themselves by stifling their sneezes but I've heard that there is a possibility that it can happen but very unlikely. 

@Honkytonklagoon To answer your question, yes I am closer to Crystal than BF. In case you were wondering she has still been stifling her sneezes since the argument. The only thing that has changed is that now when Crystal stifles her sneezes in front of BF there's a long, uncomfortable silence where time does not seem to exist. 

I think Crystal's right, that is just *her* sneeze, which sounds adorable (if taking her side, I'd want to find a way to let her know that).

Accepting that she stifles, I'd want to find a way to make it more comfortable for her - what about offering tissues when she starts a sneezing fit? With the comfort of something soft around her nose to muffle into, she might not need to do it as harshly, and if she was getting into a longer fit would have the option of blowing her nose to relieve it?