Allergic ex No.1

[frankie.a]

I have over the years, had the good fortune to date several men who suffered with bad allergies, but the others are stories for another time.. The first was D, five years my senior and heavily involved in the music scene. He was quite tall, of Viking stock, with strawberry blonde hair and blue-grey eyes. I remember his nose being unremarkable. He was very sneezy and we dated for a few months in summer when his allergies were going wild. In no particular order, these are some memories of his sneezes:

• At a restaurant during summer, we were sat opposite each other holding hands when he suddenly pulled away and sneezed into his right hand. He had an interesting sneeze, I didn’t find it particularly attractive- it was powerful, loud and slightly feminine, sort of like AAAT-CHOO! with the second part quite soft and high-pitched, which was quite unusual for a guy. After he’d finished, he went back to holding my hand with the one he hadn’t sneezed in.

• At a barbecue with his friends- he was in the kitchen preparing food for everyone when he suddenly had to sneeze. He brought his elbow up to his face and- AAA-SHOO!! released a big tickly sneeze into his sleeve. Then he sniffled, blew his nose into a piece of kitchen roll and washed his hands thoroughly.

• He came to my town one weekend in late summer. It was a very hot, dry day and the pollen must have been pretty bad because he was really suffering.. We spent a lot of time outside and he was sniffling constantly, his allergies triggered by the thick summer air. Despite his nose tickling fiercely all day however, he managed to hold off on sneezing until mid-afternoon. We were walking through town, on our way to shop for records when he suddenly ducked to the side and let out a theatrical, explosive AAATCH-OOOO! It was a powerful, itchy sneeze that left him slightly dazed, with a bit of a red nose. The release must have felt good but it didn’t cure his sniffles. “Ugh, my nose has been tickling all day. Think it’s something in the air..” He said as we stepped into the shop. He then proceeded to browse for records, sniffling as he went. The shop was old and dusty which didn’t help matters, but unfortunately he didn’t sneeze again.

• We were cuddled up together in bed one night, having been out at his friends’ show. He liked to be the little spoon so I had my arms wrapped around him. He was fast asleep in my arms when I heard a sharp intake of breath as his nose teased him. He hitched quietly, trying to fight the tickle in his sleep. One of my favourite parts of watching a sneeze is the lead-up to it, the building of the little hitching breaths, the nostrils flaring and sometimes reddening with irritation, the way they look at the light or tilt their nose to the ceiling, as though the angle might coax it out. Then there comes a point where they can’t hold back, the tickle takes control and they have to surrender to it. D was at this point now and there was a split second where his desperation seemed to last an eternity; eyes closed, nose twitching, mouth slightly open. Then the tickle overcame him and he released a big, breathy, HA-TISH-OOO!! right onto my arm. He was still fast asleep. I felt the light spray of his sneeze against my skin and thought about how good it must have felt for him, having all that irritation and anticipation building, teasing his nose until he couldn’t hold it anymore, and then finally getting to release it in one big spraying burst. In hindsight, I probably should have expressed these thoughts to him. He was no stranger to kink and may have been quite receptive. But I was 22 and embarrassed, still am (the latter unfortunately, not the former).