Start your day with a cold.

[mypanicismanic]

My first story posted here so I hope you guys like it! It's inspired by my work at a call center, where you hear a lot of fun things over the phone. 😉


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I sit down at my desk with a huff; another day of angry customers and problems that are not my fault. Of course it's not all bad, not everyone is a jerk. Just most people. I settle in, glancing around at all my little knick-knacks I've fulled my desk with to try and make it feel more bearable. Photos of my family, post-it notes of encouragement. One, written in bright purple on neon green paper says "You got this!". I heave another sigh and put on my headphones. It's go time. 

 

The phone rings almost immediately. A click of my mouse and I answer "Thank you for calling the customer service line. How may I help today?" A slight sound on the other end of the line indicates that a person is there, but no one has really answered. I clear my throat quietly and try again, a little louder and sweeter. "Hello there, thank you for calling customer service! How may I help you today?" 

"*Snnnnf* Hello? I'mb sorry I was on hold for so long." A very snuffley voice responds on the other end. A woman, young from the sound of it. My heart flutters a little at the congestion in her voice. A small cough another another sniffle leaves me with the impression that someone is struggling with a cold. First call of the day just got interesting. 

"I'm sorry for the long hold time," I say, with my best customer service voice, "What can I do for you today?" 

"Well *snnnf snnnnf* I'mb locked out of my account. I n-need to get back in." Another set of sniffles. A small catch of her breath has my heart doing flips. I try to clear my head enough to focus on doing my actual job. 

"Of course, I'm happy to help. Have we tried resetting the password?" I ask, clicking away at my screen. I get her phone number from the computer caller ID and get the account pulled up. "From the look of it, the account has been locked out due to too many failed password attempts."
 

Another cough from the young woman comes with a very thick sniffle. Her breathing is heavy in my ear as she struggles with her stuffy nose. "I'mb not sure. *SNNNFFF* I have this awful cold and my head is a mess." She says. "I c-can'd remember." Another catch of the breath, just a small hitch. But as I dig into her account, the sniffles get more frequent, as does the hitching. 

"Heh....heeh..." Soft at first, almost unnoticeable. I blush, trying hard to keep conversation going at a normal pace. 

"Well you're certainly locked out. I can unlock the account myself and then send you the password reset from my end. You just need to let me know when you get the email." I make a couple of notes on the account and hit SEND. The woman mumbles something in acknowledgement, but is clearing pre-occupied by the impending sneeze that is building in her poor nose. 
 

"Heeh...heh-HEH..." The hitching becomes a bit more hastened, the last gasp louder than before. At this point, I'm picturing her red nose, twitching in agony as her nostrils flare. Her eye squinted shut as the sickly tickle rolls down the bridge of her nose. "HEH...Oh..p-pardon m-me...Hehh." You hear her mutter as the phone muffles slightly. She must've covered it with her hands. Even that was not enough to block the sound of 3 loud, desperate sneezes. 

"HEeh...HEEEASHEEEW, HEESSHEEWW, EEH-ESHEEW!"
 

"Bless you!" I say, my cheeks bright red. Thank goodness for these talk cubicle walls, although I still look around to see if anyone has notice me turn into a tomato. 
 

"*SNNNF* Thank you I- heeh.." The woman begins to say, before another hitch interrupts her. The other end goes silent, save for the sound of the woman's hitching breaths. "Heeh...hih-hih-hiiiih!!!" You can almost hear how scrunched her nose is, tip upturn and quivering. I hear a small CRASH and she evidentially drops the phone. It must have landed on a table, because it was not so far way that I couldn't hear the wetness in her next few sneezes.

"HHIIISHHEEEWW!!!! HEESSHEEEWW HEEEETTCHHEEWW!!!" 
 

I cross my legs in my chair, squeezing my thighs together she sneezes into the phone for a second time. "Everything alright ma'am?" I say, my heart pounding in my ears now. 
 

After several thick sniffles and a muffled nose blow, I hear the woman pick back up the phone. "Yes, I'mb fine. So sorry." She mumbles, sounding hardly remorseful. A small clacking sound can be heard as she checks her email. "Okay *SNNNNFF* I got id." She lets me know, as she resets the password. 

"Alright then ma'am, is there anything else I can do to help today?" Oh please say yes. 
 

"No, t-thank you." She says curtly, obviously trying to get off the phone before her nose starts up again, her breath beginning to hitch. 

"Okay, well thank you for calling and I hope you have a wonderful-" 

"HHHEEEEEEEESHHEEEWW!!!" One last loud sneeze can be heard from the woman, before the line disconnects with a click. 

Sitting back in my chair, I stare at my screen, 30 seconds counting down before my next call. "Well that was a hell of a way to start my day." I mutter to myself, my body relaxing as I take some deep breaths. "Let's hope all the calls are as good as that one."
 

[Stormer235]

I can imagine the things you end up hearing on the phone at a call center, something like this would definitely make my day. Great work!

[A4o]

What a great way to start a work day !

[Katzoo12]

Great writing! I love the way the sneezes are spelled 😍