A Superstitious, Sneezy Lot

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Merry Christmas, everyone! As is my tradition, I've written a little something for tarotgal as a thank you for all she's done for sneezekink fans. This year, I'm doing the same thing as last year, which is writing twelve little ficlets based on various superstitions from around the world. Unlike last year, however, I'm posting them all at once instead of one at a time. I hope you enjoy the superstitions, the stories, or both!

ONE

Ihab had almost finished preparing the shakshuka sauce when he lost his grip on the bottle of cumin. Fortunately, he managed to grab it before it completely upended and ruined the mixture, but a small puff of it managed to escape and rise into the air. As soon as he felt his nose burn and his eyes water, he knew what was coming, and quickly set the bottle down, turning his whole body away from the countertop. “Herishhh! Ishhhh! Epkshhhhh!!” He took a cautious breath to see if that had cleared out the spice, but the inhale just ended up setting him off again. “Aktishhhhh! Ekishhhhhhh! At-KESHHHHFFF!!”

The last sneeze seemed to remove the worst of the irritation, though his nose continued to sting and burn. Groaning, he grabbed for the paper towels, waiting until he had his hand on them and had caught his breath before saying “Alhamdulillah.”

“Yar Hamakum Allah.” Maymunah said from the table, sounding both sympathetic and oddly pleased.

“Yahdeekum Allah Wa Yuslihu Baalakum,” Ihab finished hoarsely before bringing the towel to his face, “Maybe I’ll go without coffee this morning; that little fit seems to have woken me up plenty.”

“Are you all right?” Maymunah asked, “That last one in particular sounded painful.”

“I’m fine,” Ihab said, “Though I think my nose is going to be feeling the burn until the afternoon. I’ll have to keep a travel pack of tissues on hand to keep my eyes and nose from running too much.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation to you, you’re apparently going to receive a gift within four days.” When Ihab gave her a confused look, she explained “It’s an old belief my family’s always abided by. Sneezing before breakfast is auspiscious, apparently.”

“I won’t complain,” Ihab said, throwing away the towel before finally returning to making breakfast, “Though right now, not having ruined the eggs will be gift enough.”

Two days later, one of Ihab’s cousins came for a visit, presenting Ihab with a like-new briefcase. He explained that he’d bought it to help him look professional for his first job, but had eventually moved into a field where one wasn’t required. “I was cleaning out my closet yesterday, saw it, and realized that I didn’t have a use for it, but you definitely did. Especially since it sounds like you may be getting a promotion soon. What better way to show your change in position?”

Ihab happily accepted the case, making eye contact with Maymunah and giving her a nod as he did so. Perhaps he should start making shakshuka more regularly if it could produce results like this. He knew better than to try to manipulate fate, but at least he’d give it a few more opportunities to work its magic.

From an unknown source: Sneezing before breakfast means you’re getting a present before the weekend.
 

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TWO

Sayen stirred in her bed as the morning light hit her face, rolled over in the hopes of dozing off again...and immediately became more alert when something inserted itself into her nose. Before she could shake off the sleep fog enough to try to remove it, the object caused enough of a tickle that she ended up sneezing it out instead. “Huh-CHU!”

Reluctantly sitting up and opening her eyes, it didn’t take Sayen long to confirm her suspiscions; there was a small feather clinging to the bedspread, damp and bedraggled from its brief stint in her nose. Shaking her head—she appreciated the softness of her down pillow, but she wished the feathers would stay put rather than constantly trying to escape—Sayen picked it up and got out of bed to dispose of it. Then she decided she might as well take advantage of her rude awakening to get a head start on her morning routine.

She had just finished cleaning up the remnants of breakfast when her phone rang. She grabbed it on the third ring, immediately saying “Hello?”

“Hey, Sayen, it’s Milla!” Even over the phone, the excitement and joy in her friend’s voice was audible. “Guess what?! Quidel proposed last night!”

“Congratulations!” Sayen said, “You’ll have to come over tonight and tell me all the details!”

Milla agreed, and ended up arriving at six on the dot. Once they’d had a celebratory drink and Milla had retold the story, the two of them turned to the wedding plans. “Have you set a date yet?” Sayen asked.

“We talked about it over breakfast, shortly before I called you,” Milla said, “We haven’t picked an actual day yet, but we’re hoping to tie the knot sometime in April.”

“You really think you can put together a wedding in two months?”

“Since neither of us wants a really elaborate wedding, I think it’s doable. Besides, we can always set it nearer the end of the month if we need a little extra time.”

The two of them talked a bit more about the wedding, and Sayen was happy to agree to be a bridesmaid. By the time they finally parted ways, it was time for Sayen to prepare for bed. As she pulled back the covers, she remembered what had happened that morning, and started looking for bits of feather poking through the fabric so she wouldn’t be woken up by sneezing two days in a row. In the course of doing so, her mind drifted back to something she remembered her grandmother saying; she couldn’t remember all the details, but the important part was that if you sneezed before getting out of bed on a weekend, it meant that someone was going to get married soon. Well, that had certainly ended up being true today. And now that she was thinking about it, she’d gotten another noseful of feather last summer, and then found a wedding invitation in her mail that afternoon. It could have just been a coincidence, but...
Sayen chuckled and smoothed out her pillowcase. She’d still try to avoid inhaling feathers whenever possible, but maybe she wouldn’t mind it so much from here on out. And maybe she’d stop checking for stray feathers so much if she and Nahuel started getting more serious...

From the same unknown source: Sneezing before you get up on Sunday means there’s going to be a wedding soon.
 

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THREE

As Father Régis began to wind down his speech, Hubert could feel his nerves increasing. While he had absolutely no doubts about marrying Vérène, actually reciting the vows would make it official, and making such a huge life change was always daunting. He knew the anxiety would fade after the ceremony was over, but that wasn’t a lot of help in the here and now.

When he saw Father Régis close his Bible, he stood up straighter and took a deep breath, hoping that would be enough to keep both his hands and his voice steady. As he did so, the scent of Vérène’s flowers filled his nose. While he’d been catching whiffs of them on and off throughout the ceremony, getting such a strong dose apparently was too much for his sinuses. Not wanting to have to grapple with an impending sneeze throughout the vows, Hubert decided it was best to just let it out. Discreetly pulling a tissue from his pocket, he brought it to his face and tried to sneeze quietly. “Atchmmpf!”

Immediately, he heard the sound of laughter, both from the guests and from Vérène. It didn’t take long to realize why; just before he’d sneezed, he’d heard Father Régis say something about God blessing the marriage. The timing was admittedly perfect, and Hubert started laughing too. As he did so, the nerves he’d been feeling disappeared, and he smiled warmly at Vérène, glad he’d found a way to break the tension.

The only person who didn’t seem to find the incident amusing was Father Régis. He completed the rest of the ceremony with his usual professionalism, but as soon as he, Hubert, and Vérène had retreated to a back room to sign the marriage license, he said “Be careful, my child. I’ve heard it said that a bride or groom sneezing during their ceremony brings bad luck. Even with God’s blessing, you may have a rough road ahead.”

“I appreciate your concern, Father, but I’m not too worried,” Hubert said, “I prefer to think of it as ‘clearing the air’ of my old life in order to breathe in the sweetness of the new one.” Based on Vérène’s smile, she fully agreed with that sentiment.

Hubert had assumed that he’d be able to relax (somewhat) and enjoy himself at the reception, now that he wasn’t going to be the immediate center of attention. Instead, he found himself caught up in a myriad of mini-disasters. The photographer’s assistant knocked over the light setup, causing a delay in pictures and preventing some from being taken altogether. Nearby construction caused the building the reception was being held in to sporadically lose power, meaning the food was of varying quality and the dancing kept getting interrupted. Vérène’s bouquet hit a light and broke apart, which not only meant no one could catch it but caused the venue to tack on an extra charge for “possible damages.” By the time he and Vérène had retired to the honeymoon suite, Hubert felt exhausted and demoralized. “Do you think Father Régis was right?” he asked, “Did I inadvertently curse our marriage?”

“No,” Vérène said immediately, “You just cursed the reception. Which not only means we’ve gotten all the bad luck out of the way, it means it will become a funny story to tell in the future. We just need some distance from the event to see the humor in it.”

Hubert smiled and kissed her, already feeling a little better...and more certain than ever that he’d made the right choice of bride.

From an unknown source: It’s bad luck for a bride or groom to sneeze during the wedding ceremony.
 

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FOUR

“Etkshh! Epshh!”

“Bless you.” Myra said for the tenth time.

Kelia groaned and tossed away the used tissue before immediately grabbing two more from the box on the coffee table. “I hope I can find a non-drowsy medication that works for me soon. I don’t think I can take another hayfever season like thi...ihh...Ipshh! Ektshh!”

Just as she was throwing away the tissues, Myra’s cat Pebble sat up and let out a few sneezes of his own. Myra laughed. “Looks like you’re not the only one suffering from the pollen. Misery loves company, I guess.”

“Actually, we might not be miserable for much longer,” Kelia said, “I remember reading that a cat’s sneeze was a sign of impending rain. If that’s true, the rain will help clear the pollen from the air, and I’ll have at least a few days of reduced sneezing.”

“Yeah, sure,” Myra said, “Next you’ll tell me that stepping on a sidewalk crack will immediately break your mother’s back.”

“You never know,” Kelia said, “Cats do seem to be able to sense earthquakes a little before they happen. Maybe they can pick up a change in air pressure too. At any rate, don’t take my hope away from me. I need all the good luck I can ge...Etchh! Hetshh!”

That evening, clouds began to gather overhead. By the next morning, it was drizzling lighly. The rain seemed to intensify hour by hour, until it was downright pouring. It never got bad enough that flood warnings needed to be issued, but it was still dark, dreary, and wet for a solid two days. Despite that, Kelia’s mood improved considerably as the worst of her allergy symptoms subsided and most of the pollen was washed away. In fact, she was in such a good mood that she called Myra on the evening of the second day to make a bit of a joke of it. “Nice weather we’ve been having, isn’t it?” she said, “Do me a favor and thank Pebble for me.”

“I’d rather not,” Myra said grumpily, “The rain may be helping you out, but it seems to have had it out for m...ESHH!!”

“Bless you!” Kelia said, realizing that the weird sound of Myra’s voice hadn’t just been to phone distortion, “Sorry you got caught in the crossfire, so to speak. How about I come round tomorrow and drop off a tin of my favorite “sick day” tea and a few boxes of tissues? I know I used up a lot of your current box when I was visiting, and I wouldn’t want you to run out.”

Myra laughed, and even though it caused her to cough, her tone was much happier when she spoke again. “Sounds like a plan. See you then.”

From an unknown source: A cat’s sneeze means it’s going to rain.
 

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FIVE

“Is everything ready, Pentacontarchos?” Trierarch Sextilius asked.

“Aye, sir,” Caeso said, “All weapons and oars have been accounted for, and the men appear to be prepared for battle.”

“Very good,” Sextilius said, looking back down at his map, “Then I suggest you eat well and try to get some rest. We have no idea when the call to battle will come, but we’ll be up and on the water before sunrise, in case Antony’s forces try to sneak past us in the dark.”

Caseo nodded, saluted, and then left the tent. As he emerged, he glanced across the bay, wondering once again just how many resources Antony truly had. He’d heard that men had been deserting the General in droves, but he had the backing of Queen Cleopatra, and the Egyptians were much more of a seafaring people than the Romans were. Besides, rumor had it that his ships were much bigger and stronger than most of the Roman fleet; a few good rammings might be enough to ensure an escape, thus dragging this conflict out still further. Caseo didn’t object to a good fight, but his morale (and that of the rest of the men) could do with the boost that only a real victory could provide.

As he made his way towards his tent, the wind began to pick up, sending a cold gust through the camp as well as carrying with it the scent of salt, smoke, and dirt. Caeso wasn’t sure if it was the chill or one of the acrid scents, but something in the air was enough to irritate his nose, and he let out a strong sneeze. “Pt-TSCHH!!”

None of the men in the vicinity seemed to have noticed what had happened, but Caeso didn’t mind. Instead, he smiled broadly. Whatever prayers and sacrifices were being made throughout the Roman camp had been looked upon favorably by the Gods, and they had sent proof of their blessing by causing him to sneeze. Whatever transpired tomorrow, it was sure to end in their victory. Thus reassured, Caeso continued towards his tent, planning to offer up a prayer of thanks before his evening meal.

(History would go on to record the Battle of Actium as a major turning point for Rome, the moment that allowed the Republic to turn into an Empire. Caeso’s deeds during the battle were never recorded, but he enjoyed regaling his family and friends with his experiences for the rest of his days. And to give credit where credit was due, he was always sure to mention the sneeze that, in his mind, had sealed their victory before the battle had even begun.)

From Ancient Rome: A sneeze before a naval battle means you’re going to win.
 

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SIX

Aarti entered the family prayer room, hesitating when she saw that Shila was already there. Shila must have been aware she was there, because she finished her current mantra, then glanced over her shoulder and nodded. Aarti nodded back, then moved to sit on the pillow next to her sister. Lighting a second stick of inscense, she placed both it and her offering of fruit in front of their statue of Ganesha, then closed her eyes, pressed her hands together, and started to murmur her own prayers.

She was halfway through her first mantra when she became aware of a prickling in her nose. As she took a breath, the sensation got stronger, accompanied by the heady scent of the incense. It was enough to make her eyes water (despite them still being closed) and before she could move to try to do anything, she sneezed. “Ak-chhee!”

Sniffling, she quickly rubbed at her eyes and nose, then resumed her position and began her prayers over again, not wanting to offend Ganesha through her interruption. But her nose continued to itch, and this time she only made it a quarter of the way through before she sneezed again. “Aktchee!” Grimacing, she gave her nose a series of violent rubs in the hopes of driving away the itch, but that only seemed to make it worse instead of better. She’d barely gotten three words into the start of her mantra when...“Akchiii!”

A pair of hands landed on her shoulder, making her jump. “Come on,” Shila said gently, “Let’s get you out of here. You can splash some water on your face and do your prayers in your bedroom while I air out the room in time for the evening prayers.”

“I don’t want to disrespect Ganesha...” Aarti protested, even as her nose started itching again.

“I think Ganesha would rather you were able to get through your prayers without interrupting rather than following all the proper rules but taking hours to get through them. You can offer him some apologies during your prayers if you think that will help.”

Aarti nodded, sneezed once more, then got to her feet. “You’re probably right. Thank you, Shila.”

“I know you’ll return the favor at some point,” Shila said, squeezing Aarti’s shoulder affectionately, “In the meantime, pay me back by promising you’ll never buy that type of incense again. It isn’t bothering my nose, but the smell’s strong enough to give me a headache.”

Aarti laughed a little. “You have my word. I’ll go out and buy a different type later this afternoon. I’ll even make sure to give them a few sniffs to try to make sure this won’t happen again.”

“A wise decision,” Shila said, “And if all of them are too strong for you, we’d best return to the old orange blossom ones. Trying new things is all well and good, but I think both humans and the Gods are just as happy with a familiar routine. In fact, perhaps this incident was Ganesha’s way of reminding us of that.”

From India: If you sneeze while praying, you need to start again, otherwise your prayer will be considered offensive.
 

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SEVEN

Lumír took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of the crisp fall air in his nose and lungs. This was why autumn was his favorite season; the fresh air, the changing color of the trees, and the abundance of dry leaves underfoot (which created a satisfying crunching sound when he stepped on them) all made his sunset walks that much more beautiful and satisfying. After taking another minute to admire the rows of trees lining the path, he started his usual three laps of the park, one hand lightly holding the phone in his pocket so he’d be able to quickly take a picture if he came across a particularly beautiful sight.

While the chill in the air had driven a lot of people indoors, there were still a fair amount of people out and about. Despite most of them having put on gloves and heavier coats, Lumír wasn’t surprised that a lot of the people he passed had pink noses from the cold, or that some of them were holding cloths to their faces to deal with a runny nose. It was just the way of the world when the weather turned colder (he had his own travel pack of tissues in his jacket pocket, though he didn’t need them just yet), and he felt it added to the picturesque nature of the setting.

As he finished crossing over the park’s little bridge, he turned around to snap a photo of the bridge, which was being beautifully illuminated by the setting sun. As he was tilting his phone back and forth, trying to find the ideal angle, he heard a noise from behind him. Initially, he thought it was the wind either rustling the leaves on the trees or causing the ones that had already fallen to skitter across the pavement. But then it happened again, and this time, the sound was unmistakable. “Hepchiik!”

Smiling sympathetically, but still focused on getting the shot, Lumír said “God make you well again.” while he pressed the button to take the picture. He knew it was an old-fashioned blessing, but it was what he’d grown up with, and generally the sentiment was appreciated, even if the sneezer was healthy or wasn’t particularly religious.

As he lowered the camera, he turned around, prepared to offer a tissue to whoever had sneezed, but was surprised when he didn’t see anyone. Well, there was a couple walking away down one of the side paths a fair distance away. Perhaps that was why the sneezes had sounded so soft...?

Then he felt a light pressure on his hand, which suddenly felt ice cold despite the glove surrounding it. “Děkuji mnohokrát,” a voice whispered, the words wavering as if the speaker was on the verge of tears, “Ať vám Bůh žehná.”

The last word was barely spoken before both the pressure and the cold were gone from his hand. Lumír swallowed, put his phone away, and resumed his walk, moving a little faster than he normally did. While he wasn’t entirely sure what had just happened, but somehow, he knew it wasn’t something to be frightened by. Still, it was probably in his best interest to cut his exercise short and head to his local church, where he would light a candle in honor of the dead. Perhaps that could bring a little extra comfort to the souls who had yet to find their way to eternal peace.

From Bohemia/The Czech Republic: If you hear someone sneeze but didn’t see who did it, say “God make you well again”. You may have just saved a lost soul.

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EIGHT

“How have things been going, Kepa?” Nanise asked as she passed over a cup of tea, “Any luck making up your mind yet?”

Kepa shook her head. “I’ve been turning everything over in my head for three weeks, but I still can’t decide. Somedays, I’m almost convinced that I should take the plunge and go for my Master’s degree, but then my brain comes up with a dozen reasons why I shouldn’t, and I’m right back to square one.”

Nanise winced sympathetically. “I’m happy to be your sounding board, though I’m guessing you’ve tried this already with your other friends and family.”

“I’ll take all the help I can get,” Kepa said, rubbing her eyes against her palms, “Being in this limbo is driving me crazy.”

“I bet,” Nanise said, “Let me guess; lack of sleep, loss of appetite?”

“Yes to the second, not so much to the first, surprisingly enough. But you want to know the really weird thing? For some reason, I’ve stopped sneezing.”

“Really?”

“Really. Normally I sneeze at least five times a day, but it hasn’t happened for at least a week and a half. I even tested it by blowing on my bookcase and inhaling the dust that came off it, but even though my nose tickled sharply, the feeling subsided ten minutes later without even a hint of a sneeze.”

“Well, that’s a new one,” Nanise said, tilting her head to the side curiously, “I’ve heard of stress causing sickness and sneezing, but not getting so wound up that the sneezing stops altogether.”

“I know,” Kepa said, “I don’t know whether to be concerned or grateful. After all, no sneezing means my trains of thought are less likely to be interrupted.”

“Well, it’s probably best if you get the ability back eventually, but I don’t think it’ll do any harm if you don’t sneeze for a while. In the meantime, let’s go back to your hypothetical Master’s Degree. Let’s start by going through all the pros of getting one.”

As they both had suspected, Kepa left Nanise’s house without having reached a decision, even though they’d talked things over for two hours. But that night, as she was looking over the various University pamphlets, something sharp and determined swelled up inside her. “The hell with it,” she said aloud, “I’ll apply. There’s no guarantee I’ll be accepted anywhere, but at least I’ll have tried. And if I do get accepted, then that means the degree is probably worth pursui...IISHHH!!”

The sneeze was strong enough to jerk Kepa forward and scrape her chair backwards, almost causing her to fall out of it. Despite that, Kepa found herself smiling as she rubbed at her nose. It looked like her entire being—mind, body, and possibly soul—were in agreement on this. Turning to the passages related to applications, Kepa started to read, any lingering doubts fading away as she started to think about essay topics and which of her professors would be best to approach for recommendations.

From New Guinea: If you haven’t sneezed for a long time, it means your soul is far away.
 

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NINE

“Adjshhh!”

“Bless you!”

Anatjari looked up to see Naata emerging from her home. “Thank you. I don’t know what’s come over me today. I’ve been sneezing ever since I got up this morning, and I can’t figure out why. I don’t feel sick, it doesn’t feel like there’s anything stuck in my nose, and I haven’t smelled anything too strong or unpleasant. But no matter where I am or what I’m doing, sooner or later I have to sneeze.” Even as he spoke, he felt a sharp prickle in his nose, and he turned his head away from her. “Edshhffff!”

“Bless you,” Naata said again, “I hope whatever’s afflicting you passes soon; it’s a shame to see such a fine man weakened so.”

Anatjari blinked. “Well...thank you.”

Naata nodded, a blush coming to her face, and then moved past him, walking briskly down the road. Anatjari watched her go for a moment, a little baffled by her behavior, before another sneeze snapped him out of it and sent him on his way.

He continued to sneeze throughout the day, though fortunately it more of an annoyance than an active hinderance. And at least it served as a topic of conversation as he and the others worked, with everyone speculating on what the cause could be and various remedies he could try to make the sneezes disappear. They were no closer to solving the question when they paused for the afternoon meal, but at least Anatjari had a few possible things to try when he went home for the evening.

They were sitting in the shade, eating and laughing over a story Toba was telling, when Naata approached them, a small cup in her hands. “I...brought you a soothing cream,” she explained, holding it out to Anatjari, “Perhaps coating your nose with it will help with the sneezing.”

Anatjari took the cup from her, glancing from it to her curiously. “Did you make this just for me?”

She nodded, the blush coming back to her face. “I was hoping I could help you in some way. I went to gather up the ingredients as soon as we parted ways.”

Anatjari smiled at her. “Well, thank you for that. This was very thoughtful of you, and I’ll apply it immediately.”

Naata smiled shyly, said a quick goodbye to the others, and then left. Anatjari watched her go, a thought starting to take root in his mind. When he sneezed again, he promptly dipped his fingers in the cup and started to apply the cream, continuing to turn things over.

Despite the cream, Anatjari continued to sneeze, although he thought they may have been coming a little less frequently after he’d applied Naata’s remedy. That evening, he stopped by Naata’s home to return the cup...and to invite her for a walk alongside the lake that weekend. She accepted eagerly, blushing deeply and admitting she’d always found him handsome. Flattered and pleased, they parted ways, each of them looking forward to that weekend. And as Anatjari climbed into bed, he realized that the sneezing had finally stopped. He still wasn’t entirely sure what had caused them, but at least it seemed like everything had sorted itself out satisfactorily.

From Aboriginal Australia: If a man sneezes, it means a woman is in love with him.
 

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TEN

As Tallara lifted a spoonful of broth to her lips, something—whether it was the steam, the herbs, or just natural need—caused her nose to tickle, and she quickly swallowed the liquid before covering her nose with her arm. “Efshhh!”

Sniffling thickly, she turned back to her food, simultaneously angling her body towards the door. Any minute now...

Sure enough, she’d only had a few more mouthfuls of broth before she heard a knock on her door. Grabbing some tissues from the box on the table, she stood up and went to answer it, smiling faintly.
When she opened the door, Wanala was standing there, offering up a sympathetic smile. “Hey, Tallara. I was just on my way home from work and decided to stop by and see how you were doing.”

“I appreciate that,” Tallara said, “And the answer is that I’m feeling a lot better than I probably look and sound. Assuming my temperature doesn’t get too high tonight, I’ll probably be back to work tomorrow.”

“That’s great!” Wanala said, “Unfortunately, as much as I’d like to stay and keep you company, I have to stop by the store and get some ingredients for dinner.”

“That’s fine,” Tallara assured her, “I’m sure someone else will come along soon enough.”

Wanala gave her a questioning look, but then just shrugged and waved before heading back towards the sidewalk. Tallara waved back before closing the door and returning to the kitchen, catching another sneeze in the tissues along the way. “Hffschh!” She felt a brief flicker of disappointment, then waved it off. There would be more where that came from.

Tallara didn’t exactly consider herself superstitious, but there were a few of the old beliefs that she’d noticed seem to be true, at least in her case. One of them was the claim that sneezing while eating meant someone would be dropping by shortly afterwards. It wasn’t something that crossed her mind too often, but when she was sick and longing for a little bit of company, it always floated back to her. And without fail (and without any assistance on her part), she’d always get a small stream of well-wishers coming to visit when her illness hit the congestion stage. Specifically, they’d drop by whenever she was eating, and almost always within ten minutes of her sneezing. She didn’t pretend to understand how it worked or why it happened, but she wasn’t about to complain. If nothing else, it proved that people cared about her enough to check on her in person, rather than just calling.

Sitting down at the table again, Tallara considered her bowl of broth. It was about half-full, so, depending on how fast she ate and how much the congestion in her head decided to shift around, she’d probably get one or two more visitors before she was finished. Hopefully one of them would be able to stay for a few minutes and provide a welcome distraction before she had to clean up and head back to bed. Nodding to herself, she lifted the spoon out of the broth, holding a tissue in her other hand so she could be prepared for both the sneeze and her impending guest.

Also from Aboriginal Australia: If you sneeze while eating, you’re about to get a visitor.
 

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ELEVEN

Amadou was a man who had been plagued by a sensitive nose all his life. He may not have been allergic to every plant there was (a small mercy), but he was sensitive to enough of them that something was guaranteed to make him sneeze, no matter the season. If he was outside, the dust and dirt being kicked up by the wind would set him off; when indoors, he not only had to contend with dusty surfaces, but the irritating scents of the products used to try to clean them. Even the act of getting dressed could cause him to sneeze if the fabric touched his nose in just the right way. Medication could only do so much, and although Amadou took what precautions he could, he could still expect to sneeze ten to twelve times a day, a fact that filled him with irritation.

Amadou had gone to school with the idea of eventually working for the government, in the hopes that he could help improve the country in some small way. By the time he was 36, he had successfully become a senator, and his impassioned speeches caught the attention of many, despite (or perhaps because of) the fact that the speeches were almost always interrupted at least once by a sneeze. When it came time for the presidential elections, Amadou was considered the obvious choice for a nominee, a fact that flattered him even though he doubted it would come to anything. To his surprise, however, he was voted in by a clear majority. Although delighted by this turn of events, it did cause him to fret somewhat; surely his sneezing tendencies would make him an easy target for his opponents, either in writing or as a deliberate act of sabotage. But when he mentioned this to his aide while trying to decide whether or not he should make reference to his affliction in his first presidential speech, Oumar said something that surprised him.

“I wouldn’t worry too much. Yes, there will be those who use it against you, but if you acknowledge it and even make light of it, it will have less power over you. Besides, it is said by some that the frequency of a leader’s sneezes corresponds to the length of his life. Thus, your supporters will encourage your sneezing, in the hopes that you will live long enough to continue to help the country, and your detractors will, if anything, try to prevent your sneezing as a way to remove the thorn in their side.” Amadou was naturally skeptical of this, but it did calm his nerves a little, and with Oumar’s permission, he incorporated what he’d just been told into his speech.

Amadou’s presidency was a great success. In the course of his three terms (having been reelected by a very comfortable majority each time), he oversaw numerous reforms that improved the education, health, and infrastructure of the country. By the time he stepped down and accepted the position of Senator-for-Life, he was widely respected and admired, even if many referred to him by the teasing nickname of “President (or Senator) Am-achoo.” By then, Amadou had embraced his sensitivities, using it to prove a point when he advocated for better paved roads or easier access to medicines, which no doubt contributed to his popularity. When he finally retired from politics at the age of 83, almost everyone was sad to see him go. And when he passed away at the age of 100 and four months, thousands of mourners attended his funeral to pay their respects. Many were heard to whisper that, despite the modernity Amadou had brought to the country, they were glad one of the old superstitions had turned out to be true. A statement that no doubt causes Amadou’s spirit to feel a mixture of embarassment and pride.

From the Democratic Republic of the Congo: The more the head of state sneezes, the longer he’s going to live.
 

[Wig_Powder]

TWELVE

It happened without any warning. No one had applied any perfume, or opened a window and let in a draft, or dropped one of the spice containers. Nevertheless, at 11:36 on New Year’s Eve, all fifteen people at the Liang party sneezed at exactly the same moment. They ranged from Sunan’s barely audible “Eh-pxxt!” to Kamon’s strong “Had-TCHEY!!”, meaning that some of the sounds were drowned out. But once everyone had recovered and glanced around, the surprise on the faces of the other guests (as well as the fact that most of them were rubbing their noses) made it clear that they hadn’t just imagined what had happened.

Klahan was the one to break the confused silence. “What was all that about?” he asked, before looking over at the hosts with a grin, “Is this a planned part of the festivities? Did you read about some old tradition that encourages everyone to sneeze as the old year ends, in order to prepare for the new one.”

Pranee shook her head. “I wouldn’t want to make my guests uncomfortable, even if it’s only for a few seconds. And I’ve never heard of a superstition like that.”

“There is a supersition that might explain it, though,” Somboon chimed in from the sofa, “Some people say that there’s a book in the afterlife that keeps track of everybody still alive here on Earth, and when the book is opened, everyone on the page that’s being looked at sneezes. I don’t think it’s a signal of anything ominous, though it’s not a sign of impending good luck, either.”

“So you’re saying that we’re all on the same page of this book?” Klahan said, “Assuming the names are recorded in alphabetical order, that has to be one big book.”

“Well, there are a lot of people in the world,” Somboon pointed out, “So it’s probably a big book with tiny print. Maybe someone’s flipping through the book and taking stock of the world as we enter into the new year.”

“Do you really believe that?” Kamon asked skeptically.

“It makes as much sense as anything else,” Somboon said with a shrug, “Unless you can come up with a better explanation for what happened.”

Kamon had to concede the point, and the conversation turned to other superstitions people had heard. And when midnight rolled around, in among the cheers, songs, and other celebrations, everybody was more than willing to join in when Somboon offered a toast to “The people who watch over us, whoever they may be.” Even if the superstition was just that, acknowledging a potential unseen force during a time of renewal seemed like an appropriate, and polite, thing to do.

From Thailand: Judges in the afterlife keep a book which contains the names of the living; when this book is opened and a page is looked at, everyone whose name is on that page sneezes. This appears to be a good sign.
 

~~~

Once again, happy holidays to everyone! I hope you all have a lovely day and a nice rest of the year!