Illness Contageon park

[JustReadin]

Contageon Park

My first story, so feedback would be very helpful.

 

The contageon park is a park where you can go if you love getting sneezed on, see people sneeze or just want to get sick.

 

The Story is about Sarah, a 20 years old brunette, about 5,4 who has a thing for people sneezing on her and sneezing on people by herself.

 

It is was sunny but also windy autumn day when Sarah got on the train. It was going to be a two-hours ride until she`ll arrive at the contageon park. Since she isn`t too good with people she sat down at the end of the train with no one nearer than 4 seat rows. She took out a book and began to read but got interrupted by a cute blondine sitting down at the seat across her. The blondine intruduced herself as Selene:

Selene: „Hi, i`m Selene, what`s your name?

Sarah: „Hey, i`m Sarah“

   Sarah noticed a slight sniffle from Selene but didn`t pay much attention to it

Selene: „Why are you sitting here, completely alone?“

Sarah: „I´m not very good with people, so i sat down here“

Selene: „Oh, i hope it`s not a problem for you to sit with me and chat a little bit“

Sarah: „No, that`s not a big deal“

Selene: „Cool, if that`s so, we can start talking about ah ah atschu atschu atschu“

   Three wet sneezed hit Sarah right at her face and chest

Selene: „Oh no, i`m so sorry, these snuck right up on me, i didn`t notice, i`m so sorry“

Sarah: „Don`t worry about it. Is it a cold or just allergies?“

Selene: „It`s just allergies, i get them around this t-time“

   Secretly Selene had a cold which she really wanted to give Sarah without her knowing, so she blamed it on allergies

Sarah: „Okey, so what did you want to talk about?“

   Before Selene could awnser she had to sneese again atschi atchu. She did sneeze in her fist but still Sarah could feel tiny droplets on her lips and nose

Selene: „Sorry that i`m so sneezy, if i`m gettign on you nerves just tell me“

Sarah: „Nah, it`s fine and since it`s just allergies you don`t even need to covert hem. I ain`t got a problem with that.

   They chatted on for an hour and about every 5 to 10 minutes Selene sneezed uncoverd all over Sarah and misted her with her cold germs . Sarah enjoyed it and hoped it would be a cold so she could be sneezing on people just like Selene. Then it was time for Selene to get off the train.

Selene: „That`s my stop. It was very nice talking to yoooh hatchu *sniff* to you an i hope we`ll meet again“

Sarah: „Enjoy your day and maybe we`ll meet again when i`m going home, bye“

Selene: „Bye“

   The rest oft he ride Sarah read her book and thought about that amazing conversation

As she got off the train a friendly looking woman greeted her and brought her to a hotel for her to check in. As a greeting from the receptionist she got a harsh itchoo

Sarah: „Sick?“

Receptionist: „Yeah, there was this girl named Selene a few days ago, sneezing her head of without covering. She got many people sick in just a short time itchoo itchoo *sniff* *sniff* itchooo the lady here will show you your room.

   A tall lady appered with a red, chapped and runny nose and watery eyes. Even before Sarah could say hi, she got sneezed on by 5 sneezes direkted on her face.

Sarah: „Bless you“

The tall lady: „Thang you, i`b godda show you your roob, by nabe is Gloe by the way“

   As the Cloe walked Sarah to her room she caughed a couple of times, not even bothering to cover.

Cloe: „So this is your roob atchu add when you`re readdy i`b godda show you the rest oft he parg“

 

Should i continue?

[NickG1998]

This is a wonderful story keep up the amazing work please update this story 

[Likesn]

An interesting concept. I like contagion. 

[Anonymace]

Interesting concept! As for feedback, I’d recommend running your work through a free grammar tool either as you write or after you’re finished. Grammarly has a good free option, I’ve found. 

[JustReadin]

I ran this through Grammarly so hopefully, the grammar is better by now

In this part won`t be many dialogs, it`ll be more like a told story. I hope that is okay

 

Sarah put her stuff on the bed and went to Cloe to get a tour through the park. They started off at a cafe where many sick people were slurping their coffees, talking to others, and of course, sneezing and coughing like crazy mostly covered. Sarah then spotted a redhead and a blonde talking. The redhead touched the forehead of the blonde when suddenly the blonde let out three big sneezed „Hnxxcht Humptsh Huh’eshh“ which totally caught the redhead. Sarah got a bit excited and decided that later on, she would give the blonde a visit. The next stop they got to was a Ferris wheel. While Cloe explained to Sarah that you can see the whole park from the top a sneeze fit snuck up on Cloe „atchu a’eshh ehtchiew ehtshiww etschie“, Sarah could kiss Cloe right now. Since they stood face to face, Sarah couldn`t get out of the way. After her fit, you could see Sarah`s face shine in the sun. After that, they got to a gravel path with a sign that said, that it leads to a beautiful park on the outside of this one and that no one from outside knows about this path. Because they didn`t have so much time left they went to their last stop: a movie theater. Their time ran out and Cloe had to go back for new guests. While they said goodbye Cloe offered they could watch a movie the next days, which Sarah happily accepted.

 

Where should Sarah go in the next part?

a)the cafe

b)the Ferris wheel

c)to the blonde from the cafe

d)to her room because it was late

 

[M214186]

C

[AutumnSneezes]

I'm happy with wherever Sarah goes, I'm just really looking forward to seeing what happens! So much contagion, she won't be healthy for long! 😈

[hellopeople123]

this is great so far! Please post the next chapter!

[JustReadin]

Sorry for the waiting, but I didn't come to write something the last few days. And sorry for the missing amount of written sneezing

 

It is going to be visiting the blonde from the Cafe in this part 

______________________________________

Sarah went to the reception to ask for the room number of the blonde. It was 52 and this is where she went soon after. She knocked at the door and the blinde opened. Sarah explained that wanted to make some new friends in the park and how she saw her in the Cafe so she thought she would come by and talk a bit. The blonde let her in and told her that she is Maya. Sarah told her about her fascination with sneezing and colds and how she saw Maya at the cafe with a redhead and how Maya sneezed on her. Maya explained that she also had a fetish and then she started to tell the story about her and the redhead:

So, the redhead was a good friend of mine who came to visit me. I have this wonderful cold and I really wanted to give it to her. We were walking around the park and talking and I had to sneeze from time to time, sometimes only poorly covered and spraying her, but I have allergies she knows from so I excused myself and played it on that. After a while, she told me that since it's just allergies I could stop covering them and excusing my sneezes every time. And that was when I was free to go and sneeze on her. We sat down at a table somewhere in the park and sat right in front of her and not covering any sneezes coming, which were many by the way, her face was wet after twenty minutes. We got up again and continued to walk around. Then we spotted the cafe and decided to take a seat and order something. The food was delivered fast and we began to eat. It made my heart skip a beat when I sneezed and the spray flew all over her food. She ate it and I really had to hide a smile. But a little while after I developed a little cough and she asked me if it was really just allergies. That was when she touched my forehead while I sneezed on her. It felt so good, but she was pretty upset when she realized I had a fever. I could convince her that I really thought it was just allergies but she brought me to my room and went home right after.

Throughout the story, Maya began to sneeze and cough more, directed away from Sarah. Sarah then wished that she should stop turning away and sneeze on her instead because she liked the idea and loved becoming sick. Maya then had the idea that they could watch a movie in her bed and that is what they did. Because of Sarah's wish, they decided to lay face to face with every of Maya's sneezes and coughs that would directly hit Sarah, and oh yeah, they did, Maya sneezed or coughed about every 40 seconds, and sometimes in little fits Hatchiew Hatchiew hissxn achoo haptchu *cough* *cough* achoo choo. While Sarah had to fight not to kiss her. After the movie, Sarah decided to go to her room to get some sleep because she got a slight headache and needed it. As Sarah got into her room she changed her clothes fast and dozed away very fast. 

With what should I continue? 
 a) The theater with Cloe
 b) The cafe
 c) The Ferris wheel

[JustReadin]

On 2/18/2023 at 10:35 AM, Likesn said:

An interesting concept. I like contagion. 

Thanks btw. I read some of your stories and they are amazing 🤗

[JustReadin]

On 2/19/2023 at 5:06 PM, AutumnSneezes said:

I'm happy with wherever Sarah goes, I'm just really looking forward to seeing what happens! So much contagion, she won't be healthy for long! 😈

Well I guess you're right, so let's see if Selene, Cloe, the tall lady, and Maya did enough to get her sick 🤔

[JustReadin]

8 minutes ago, JustReadin said:

Sorry for the waiting, but I didn't come to write something the last few days. And sorry for the missing amount of written sneezing

 

It is going to be visiting the blonde from the Cafe in this part 

______________________________________

Sarah went to the reception to ask for the room number of the blonde. It was 52 and this is where she went soon after. She knocked at the door and the blinde opened. Sarah explained that wanted to make some new friends in the park and how she saw her in the Cafe so she thought she would come by and talk a bit. The blonde let her in and told her that she is Maya. Sarah told her about her fascination with sneezing and colds and how she saw Maya at the cafe with a redhead and how Maya sneezed on her. Maya explained that she also had a fetish and then she started to tell the story about her and the redhead:

So, the redhead was a good friend of mine who came to visit me. I have this wonderful cold and I really wanted to give it to her. We were walking around the park and talking and I had to sneeze from time to time, sometimes only poorly covered and spraying her, but I have allergies she knows from so I excused myself and played it on that. After a while, she told me that since it's just allergies I could stop covering them and excusing my sneezes every time. And that was when I was free to go and sneeze on her. We sat down at a table somewhere in the park and sat right in front of her and not covering any sneezes coming, which were many by the way, her face was wet after twenty minutes. We got up again and continued to walk around. Then we spotted the cafe and decided to take a seat and order something. The food was delivered fast and we began to eat. It made my heart skip a beat when I sneezed and the spray flew all over her food. She ate it and I really had to hide a smile. But a little while after I developed a little cough and she asked me if it was really just allergies. That was when she touched my forehead while I sneezed on her. It felt so good, but she was pretty upset when she realized I had a fever. I could convince her that I really thought it was just allergies but she brought me to my room and went home right after.

Throughout the story, Maya began to sneeze and cough more, directed away from Sarah. Sarah then wished that she should stop turning away and sneeze on her instead because she liked the idea and loved becoming sick. Maya then had the idea that they could watch a movie in her bed and that is what they did. Because of Sarah's wish, they decided to lay face to face with every of Maya's sneezes and coughs that would directly hit Sarah, and oh yeah, they did, Maya sneezed or coughed about every 40 seconds, and sometimes in little fits Hatchiew Hatchiew hissxn achoo haptchu *cough* *cough* achoo choo. While Sarah had to fight not to kiss her. After the movie, Sarah decided to go to her room to get some sleep because she got a slight headache and needed it. As Sarah got into her room she changed her clothes fast and dozed away very fast. 

With what should I continue? 
 a) The theater with Cloe
 b) The cafe
 c) The Ferris wheel

I just realized that the part about playing it on allergies is a thing I also did in the first part. I hope it doesn't bother y'all too much and sorry

[ganmaopenti]

C!

[NickG1998]

C! Please 

[Sneezyboy]

Sounds so nice!

[hellopeople123]

wow please keep going, these women coudll really get up to some fun

[JustReadin]

So C it is 

 

Sarah got up the next morning and the first thing she noticed was her slightly sore throat. When she stood up she felt dizzy and she needed a moment to find her balance. Sarah was happy because it seems like she finally came down with a cold. This is gonna be a good day she thought. She went to get some breakfast and then got outside when her nose began to run. Luckily she had tissues with her so she could blow her nose. After she did that she suddenly let out an uncovered Atchooo. She caught two girls passing by with the spray. But they didn't say anything and went on talking. Sarah was happy- her first sick sneeze and she already sneezed on somebody. She went on and got to the Ferris wheel, where she got in the waiting line. Soon after she again felt a tickle and her nose began to twitch. She sneezed three times in her crook because she didn't know how the people around her would react when getting sneezed on. Etschiew achu achuuuu, she sniffed. She got some blessings from the girls in front of her and she thanked them. In each cabin of the Ferris wheel, four persons can take place, and since the girls, in front of her were just two they asked Sarah if she wants to sit with them. She agreed and they sat down. Only a few minutes later a sneeze overcame her and she sneezed openly at the girls sitting in front of her. Asheeew "I'm so sorry, I didn't feel it coming" she apologized but the girls just winked her off and said it would be fine. Sarah could see them smile so she suspected that they were happy with getting sneezed on. She thought about what she saw happening to Maya and her friend and how she wanted to do that herself. So the next time she felt a sneeze coming she asked the girl on the left if she could feel her forehead and tell her if it feels warm. The girl led in Sarah's direction and put her hand on Srarah's forehead. Then Sarah let out four messy sneezes getting all over the face and chest of the girl humptshh huheshhh huhshhh iewshhh. She told the girl she was really sorry and she hopes she doesn't pass her cold to her because she was in the very first state of her cold and probably absolutely contagious. The girl looked a bit baff but still very happy. Sarah realized how good it feels to sneeze all over someone else so she decided that she won't cover a single sneeze that will come out of her on this ride. And so she did. The ride was about 30 minutes long and she must have sneezed a minimum of 20 sneezes in little fits or singles directed at the other girls who seemed to appreciate it. At some point, they asked her how she got this cold, and Sarah told them all about Cloe and Maya, how sneezy they were, and how she was looking forward to sneezing a lot. The ride ended, Sarah sneezed one last time on them and then they said goodbye. 

That's it for this part. Hope you all had a great time reading this.

[Sneezyboy]

I like it so much!

[Scandinavius]

Real neat story, the contagion is great! I especially like that you include the detail of how sneezes hit someone's face or chest for example.

[JustReadin]

I'm happy you're enjoying the story so here is a new part: 

Satisfied Sarah walked along the park sneezing a bit here, a bit there when she spotted the gravel path to the park from the outside. She decided to take a look and since no one over there knew about the park and all the illnesses going around the guests there she might get someone sick. She walked along the path and finally came to a door, opened it, and was standing in an arbor. She stepped outside and could see many flowers blooming. She walked around when her nose began to tickle slightly. She saw a group of girls standing a few steps from her and decided to speak to them. She introduced herself and asked how they were doing and how they came to this park. The tickle inside her grew bigger but she did her best to not let anyone notice. When she couldn't hold back any longer she burst out in a fit of 7 wet sneezes turning away from the girls ackscho ashooo ehhhksnnn ahhsnnn ischiew ischiewww atchoooooooo. When she was done she turned back to the girls and excuses herself. One of the girls asked if it was allergies and Sarah thought about Selene and thought that maybe the girls would also expect to be sneezed on by someone who has just allergies so she nodded and told them that she is allergic to many flowers but forgot her allergy meds but still wanted to see the park. The girls accepted that and invited her to come with them and talk a bit while going through the park. She happily agreed and got next to a girl with fancy dyed hair, named Lola. Sarah did her best to cover the coming sneezes so that still many of the sprays hit Lola who didn't seem to have a problem with that. One time Lola faced Sarah to ask her about her family. Sarah took the chance and aimed a completely uncovered sneeze at Lola's nose. She could see the little droplets landing on her nose and lips and she imagined how they would crawl into her and infect every cell of her. Remembering that she was standing right next to her she apologized for a couple of times but Lola shut her and said it would be fine. She had no idea many cold germs were ready to make her all sneezy and contagious. 

 

Soon after Sarah excused herself and said she had to go back to an important meeting. They said goodbye and she made her way back to her hotel. Before reaching it she spotted Cloe and asked her if she wants to watch a film in the movie theater. Cloe said that the only time they could do that was now so they went straight to the movie theater and decided to watch "Virus Z". The film started and a girl was shown. The girl was a fetishist who agreed to spread an unstable virus. The virus came with sudden sneezing, a headache, a fever, and tie tiredness. It was a bit like a cold but it would infect anyone because no one was immune to it. The girl got the virus injected and the symptoms began just a couple of hours later. She was kissing her boyfriend, and she pulled away but he pulled her back so she sneezed a messy etchuuuuuuu, covering his face in a thin layer of tiny contagious droplets from her nose. A counter on the side of the screen went up to 1. In the next scene, she was shown sitting on a train. Three girls sitting across from her and talking. She suddenly had a sneezing fit but her hands in her pockets to the sneezed hab nowhere to go but to the girls. The girls looked a bit disgusted and got off the train soon after but the Counter still went up to 4. As it was the girl's turn to get off the train she walked toward the door and before reaching it she sneezed uncovered and caught many others on the train. She was satisfied and the counter went up to 17. The scene then changed and you could see the girls from the bus going to an indoor fun park. They divided so none of them say the others beginning sneezing very messy all over the whole big park and the guests. They couldn't control it and by the end of their time, the counter was at 102. Since that the virus spread amongst everyone who came in contact with a sick person or something that they sneezed on. This was the story of how fast a virus can spread. 

During watching they sat on a balcony and Sarah sneezed down on the other watchers. Cloe somehow was doing better and was as good as over her cold. But at the end of the movie she had a huge fit of 14 sneezes all over the balcony. Sarah watched it and thought "the counter went up to over 20 just from her", she smiled. Sarah went back to her hotel room to go to bed and Cloe went to a guest who just checked in. 

In the morning Sarah would head back home. So let's see if something interesting happens whilst that.

 

Hope you enjoyed it and see you in the next (last) part

[JustReadin]

So this is gonna be the last planned part. If you have any wishes about how I should continue just tell me

 

When Sarah woke herself with some sneezing the next morning. She packed her stuff and before she checked out she walked through her room and sneezed on everything. On the doorknobs, the lamps, the bath, the bed, and in every corner. She was satisfied with the result and went to the reception to give her key back. On her way, she continued letting out messy spray sneezes. She had no hand free to cover so the sprays had nowhere else to go than all over the people passing her but Sarah was fine with that. She loved imagining how they would get very sneezy and sneeze helplessly all over others. After giving back her key she got to the train station. She sat down next to a nice-looking girl to wait for her train. She began talking to that girl and asked her which train she is gonna take. Just as the girl was about to answer two wet sneezes hit her face hurshhhhhh eh heh hehieswehhh. Sarah excused herself and told her that she has got an extremely sneezy head cold and that she hoped that she won't get her sick. The girl just nodded and told her that her train was the 65 to Exemburg. Sadly that wasn't Sarah's train but they kept on talking about different things. Sarah would sneeze in her hands and would leave a small space between her fingers so that still plenty of her sneezes would get sprayed at the girl. After a half hour, Sarah got on her train. She sat down at the end of the train and began reading a book. A few stops later a girl sat down next to her. When Sarah looked up she realized it was Selene. They said hello but then Sarah sneezed and Selene looked at her and told Sarah, she was sorry because it seemed like it wasn't just allergies when they sat together some days ago. She looked sad but Sarah told her about her fetish and then Selene did too. They were happy they now could talk without hesitation about their thoughts. Sarah asked Selene if she really had thought that it was allergies when they met the first time. Selene admitted that she knew she had a cold that she wanted to give Sarah but she didn't want her to know. They both laughed and Sarah began to tell Selene everything that happens the last few days, about Cloe, Maya, the Ferris wheel, and the park on the outside. While talking Sarah developed a little cough but she just sneezed and coughed openly. When a young lady sat down across from them they decided to have a little bit of fun since Selene knew that she didn't know about the contagion park. The next sneeze Sarah aimed at the lady. Selene put on a fake frown and said: "you okay?". While continuing to sneeze and cough messily over the lady Sarah told that she had a really bad cold and she sure was super contagious. The lady looked up at her and frowned but didn't say anything. They went on to talk about how contagious Sarah was and after some time the lady stood up, glared down at them, and sat down as far away as possible from them. The girls laughed and then just did whatever they did. When it was nearly Sarah's time to get off the train they exchanged phone numbers and maybe they will meet sometime.

 

That's for all the positive responses to the story. I hope you all enjoyed it🤗

[JustReadin]

Thanks for all the positive responses*

[spn27695]

Omg love this update!!

[MessyOnMain]

Looooove the intention contagion. Great concept! Thanks for posting ☺️

[hellopeople123]

the intent here is amazing 

would love to see her adventures continue