Jinx of Joanna

[Chanel_no5]

Jinx of Joanna

Joanna Winters was absolutely sure she was jinxed. She had never, in her entire life, managed to get through one single date without sneezing her head off. Most guys gave up on her after a few dates, and to spare herself the embarrassment, she hadn't been on a date for five years. But now, a friend of hers told her she knew a guy she'd love, and before Joanna realize, she was going on a date again. She was twenty-six, average height and slim, almost skinny. She had blonde hair, a bit longer than shoulder length, big blue eyes, fine features and skin like peaches and cream. If you ask me, I'd say she looks a bit like the cartoon girl Sleeping Beauty, but real. Of course. But then again, there was this sneezing problem. Jake, a boy she'd been dating when she was still in college, had been really annoyed by her sneezing. On their first date, when she sneezed for the fifth time in a row, he yelled: "Oh not again, could you PLEASE plug your nose with something!?". They went on two more dates, but when a sneeze escaped her (and you could hardly call it a sneeze either, it was a tiny little sound like "sscho", almost whispered) when they had sex on the third date he slapped her face, got dressed, left and never returned, and that's it. Joanna was sure she was jinxed, and after that, I probably would have agreed with her. Anyway, she had accepted when Tim Jones asked her out on the phone. She had seen him twice before, but never talked to him. He was 30, tall, well-built and so handsome she could cry.

The doorbell rang. Joanna opened with a big smile, that faded to nothing. She found herself staring into a giant boquet of Orchids. Very, very pollen-filled Orchids by the look of it. Tim looked at her, his smile was also fading.

"What's wrong?" he asked, looking puzzled.

"I'm... I'm sorry.. ahh.. it's just... I'm just..."

She abandoned every try to explain and started to sneeze.

"Ah-sshhooo! Ah-tschhooo! Ah-Ah-AH-CHOO! Ah-choo! AH-tsssshhh!"

"Bless you, you're not coming down with something I hope?

She pointed at the flowers, and Tim looked at them as if he'd never seen them before, then his cheeks turned bright red.

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea..." he mumbled.

"Ah-choo... ah-chooo! Ah-tscho... ah-ah-TSCHO! It's OK really", Joanna sniffed and blew her nose forcefully into a Kleenex. Tim threw the flowers out. Joanna felt ashamed, those flowers must've cost a fortune and she couldn't accept them. Well, at least he didn't seem to be annoyed. Yet, she reminded herself and decided to try harder than ever before not to let another sneeze out tonight.

Tim may have looked like a bad boy, but he was a gentleman. They arrived to the luxuous restaurant and the waiter told them their table was "on the outside". Tim asked Joanna if she was OK with that, and she said yes. But when their first meal came in, she felt her nose start to tickle and run again. And no wonder, the outside part of the restaurant was like a park, full of plants, trees and flowers. Joanna was practically sitting in a tree. She sniffed and blew her nose throughout the first meal, then the waiter served the hot meal. Tim started to eat, then noticed Joanna's sneezy face.

"Sniff...sniff... sniff... oh..."

"You OK?"

"Sniff... yeah. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? We could still leave if you like?"

"No... sniff... I'm fine, it's.. ahhh... nothing. Sniff....Ahhhhh...."

Her nose was so tickly, it felt like she had ants crawling inside it. When the dessert was served, she gave her nose a quick rub with her index finger to make the tickle go away, but instead it got worse. There was no return. She grabbed the napkin from her knee and sneezed into it. She hardly finished one sneeze before the next started.

"Sscho! Choo! AH-choo! ah-choo... ah-sschoo... ahhhh-TSSXO...huh-ascchooahchooahchooahchooahchooahchoo!!!"

People stared at her, and she blushed and wished she could just run and hide, but there was no stopping the sneezes. Much later, when they had left, the sneezing subsided. Tim didn't make a comment about it, but Joanna felt her heart sinking and hope fading. Such a perfect guy, and he would never want to see her again.

When they were walking towards the cinema, another disaster happened. A young girl in the crowed sprayed perfume on herself, but somehow the cloud of perfume missed her and hit poor Joanna, who looked terrified.

"I got it right up my nose", was all she managed to say before literally exploding into another series of violent, wet allergic sneezes. She sneezed and sneezed and sneezed for several blocks, sometimes she had to stop walking because she was sneezing so much and so hard.

Once they got to the cinema she excused herself and went to ladies room, where she blew her nose four times before the sneezing stopped, then washed her face and hands with cold water and put on new make-up. Tim smiled when she came out the door.

"You look fabulous. I must've forgotten to say that before."

Joanna smiled.

"Thank you. What movie did you buy tickets to?"

"Alexander. You haven't seen it before, have you?"

"No, that's great!"

They found their places and sat down, talking silently before the movie started. Joanna felt fine, but about twenty minutes in the film she had to sneeze again. Dust rarely affected her at all, but her nose was sore and so sensitive from all sneezing. She sneezed twice, waited five seconds, then sneezed another double. She moaned silently before she let loose another two. Soon, a fully grown allergy attack was triggered and she sneezed, sneezed, sneezed, people around her mumbling and somebody actually shouting "Stop fucking sneezing, bitch!"

Tim touched her shoulder gently, but she shoke her head, still sneezing. Her sneezes sprayed everywhere, on him, on herself, on the floor, on the people in front of her (a young couple making out, they turned around and stared at her in disgust.) and her sneezes quickly went from desperate but not so loud to screaming-spraying state.

"Please take me home" she whispered to Tim, then sneezed. Then sneezed.

They made it to Tim's car. Joanna was still sneezing like crazy and she was so embarrassed she wanted to lay down and die.

"I'm sorry... my allergies ruin everything... I'm such a mess! Look, I'm such a turn-off! Ah-EESSCHHO!"

That's the moment when Tim put his arms around her, no matter her sneezes that sprayed his neck, and whispered into her ear:

"Sneezing turns me on."

From that day on, Joanna wasn't jinxed. She was blessed. In two different ways.

***

Hope you liked it! There might be more to come about Joanna and Tim. Though not 18+ stories, since I'm really bad at writing about sex.

[Guest timbo]

really really good need some more!