ChatGPT Drabbles

[PantheraPardus]

Someone else posted some thungs written by ChatGPT a while back, and that inspired me to do some experimentation of my own. If anyone’s interested, I’ll keep posting the results on here. A few of the results were good, but ChatGPT’s idea of spelled-out sneezes is, unfortunately enough, not as descriptive or varied as our own, and it likes to insert a dystopian/moralizing bent to the stories (I’ve edited out some of the more annoying parts).

 

First, three variations (in chronological order) on the same prompt:

1. The salaryman boarded the metro, his face buried in a handkerchief as he struggled to suppress a fit of sneezes. His nose was running, his throat was sore, and his head was pounding with pain. But he had to go to work, and he couldn't afford to take a sick day.

As the train chugged along, the salaryman couldn't help but sneeze again. He tried to cover his mouth with the handkerchief, but it was too late. A cloud of germs escaped from his nostrils and filled the air around him.

The other passengers looked at him with alarm, but the salaryman just shrugged and apologized. "Sorry, I have a cold," he said, hoping that would be the end of it.

But it wasn't. One by one, the other passengers began to cough, wheeze, and sneeze. The germs were spreading rapidly, infecting everyone in their path.

The salaryman watched in horror as the people around him grew more and more sick. He realized with a sinking feeling that he had been patient zero, the one who had unleashed a contagion on the metro.

He wanted to get off the train, to escape the germs that were swirling around him. But it was too late. The doors had closed, and the train was hurtling through the tunnels, carrying him and his infection to new victims.

By the time the salaryman arrived at his stop, he was the only one on the train who wasn't coughing or sneezing.

 

2. The salaryman shuffled onto the crowded metro, his face buried in a handkerchief as he struggled to contain his sneezes. His nose was running like a faucet, and he felt like he was drowning in his own mucus. But he had to get to work, and he couldn't afford to miss a day.

As the train began to move, the salaryman let out a loud "HAAAAA-CHOOOOO!" that echoed through the car. A spray of contagious droplets shot out of his nose and splattered onto the handkerchief, which was quickly becoming soaked with snot.

The other passengers recoiled in disgust, but the salaryman just sniffled and muttered a feeble apology. He could feel the germs spreading like wildfire, and he knew that everyone on the train was at risk of getting sick.

But he couldn't stop sneezing. Every few seconds, his body convulsed with a violent "HAAAA-CHOOOOO!" that sent a fresh wave of germs into the air. He tried to cover his nose and mouth with the handkerchief, but it was no use. The contagion was too powerful.

As the train rattled on, the salaryman watched in horror as the other passengers began to succumb to the illness. They coughed, wheezed, rubbed their eyes, and sneezed all over.

The salaryman felt a wave of guilt wash over him. He had been so selfish, so focused on his own needs, that he had infected everyone around him.

He sneezed again and again, each time spraying more and more contagious snot into the air. The germs were spreading like a wildfire, and there was no stopping them.

By the time the salaryman arrived at his stop, he was a wreck. His eyes were red and swollen, his nose was raw and sore, and his handkerchief was saturated with germs. He stumbled off the train and into the sunlight, feeling like he had just survived a war.

 

3. The salaryman stepped onto the metro, his nose already tickling with the onset of a sneeze. He tried to hold it back, but it was no use. With a sudden and violent "Aaa-CHOO!", he expelled a spray of contagious droplets into the air.

The other passengers recoiled in horror, but the salaryman just sniffled and apologized. His nose was running like a faucet, his throat was sore, and his head was pounding with pain. He had a cold, and he knew that he was contagious.

As the train rumbled along, the salaryman couldn't stop sneezing. Every few seconds, his body convulsed with a powerful "Aaa-CHOO!", sending a cloud of germs into the air. He tried to cover his nose and mouth with a handkerchief, but it was already soaked through with mucus.

The other passengers grew increasingly alarmed as the sneezing continued. Some covered their mouths and noses with their hands, while others buried their faces in scarves or jackets. But it was too late. The germs were already spreading.

The salaryman watched in horror as the people around him began to show the signs of illness. They coughed, rubbed their eyes, and sniffled, just like he did. He felt guilty and ashamed, knowing that he was responsible for their suffering.

But he couldn't help himself. His body was racked with sneezes, each one more violent than the last. He could feel the germs spreading through the air, infecting everyone in their path.

By the time the salaryman arrived at his stop, he was a mess. His nose was red and raw, his eyes were watery, and his handkerchief was saturated with germs.

[PantheraPardus]

Aside from the moralizing about staying home when sick, another annoying tendency is its habit of listing watery eyes as a cold symptom; it’s fine in moderation and all that, but it would be nice if ChatGPT could focus more on some nasal symptoms. Anyway, here are two responses to a different prompt:

1. 

It all started with a single sneeze.

A young woman with a runny nose and watery eyes sneezed loudly in the elevator, her "Aaa-CHOO!" echoing off the walls. She tried to cover her mouth with her hand, but it was too late. The contagious droplets had already been expelled into the air.

The next person to step into the elevator was a middle-aged man with a briefcase. He inhaled deeply and soon started to experience a scratchy throat and a runny nose. By the time he reached his office, he was already spreading the virus to his coworkers with every "Aaa-CHOO!" that shook his entire body.

The virus quickly spread throughout the office, and before long, the receptionist at the front desk was sneezing and coughing, sending contagious droplets into the air. As customers came and went, they unknowingly picked up the virus and carried it with them.

The next person in the chain was a construction worker who had been waiting for the bus. He sneezed loudly, his "Aaa-CHOO!" sending a spray of droplets across the bus stop. The person standing next to him on the bus took in a deep breath and soon found themselves coming down with a fever and a headache.

The virus continued to spread, from person to person, across the city. Each "Aaa-CHOO!" sent a spray of contagious droplets into the air, infecting anyone within range. The symptoms were miserable: sore throats, pounding headaches, and stuffy noses that left people struggling to breathe.

But the virus wasn't finished yet. It continued to spread, from person to person, until it had infected ten people in total. The tenth person in the chain was a college student who caught the virus from her father, who had caught it from a coworker. By the time she realized she was sick, it was too late. She had already spread the virus to her classmates, and it was now spreading through her university like wildfire.

It wasn't until the health department got involved that the virus was finally contained. They urged people to stay home if they were sick and to wash their hands frequently to prevent the spread of germs. They also encouraged people to cover their mouths and noses with a tissue or the inside of their elbow when they sneezed or coughed.

It took a while, but eventually, the virus was contained. The "Aaa-CHOO!" that had started it all was a distant memory, but the lessons learned from the outbreak lingered on. People were more careful about hygiene and staying home when they were sick, knowing that a single sneeze could start a chain reaction that could infect many others.

 

2.

It all started when a man named Tom sneezed while riding the crowded subway. His "Aaa-CHOO!" sent a spray of contagious droplets across the train car, infecting the man standing next to him.

The virus quickly spread from that man to the next, a colleague at work who shared a desk with him. Soon, everyone in the office was coughing and sneezing, their contagious droplets spreading through the air as they worked.

The third man in the chain was a delivery driver who caught the virus from a customer. He sneezed so hard that he had to pull over to the side of the road, his "Aaa-CHOO!" echoing through the empty streets.

The fourth man was a bartender who caught the virus from a regular customer. He sneezed into his elbow and wiped his nose on his sleeve, hoping no one had seen him.

The fifth man was a gym-goer who caught the virus from a fellow gym member. He sneezed while lifting weights, his "Aaa-CHOO!" startling everyone around him.

The sixth man was a taxi driver who caught the virus from a passenger. He sneezed so hard that he had to pull over to the side of the road, his eyes watering from the effort.

The seventh man was a grocery store employee who caught the virus from a customer. He sneezed into his hand and hurriedly wiped his nose on his apron, hoping no one had noticed.

The eighth man was a construction worker who caught the virus from a coworker. He sneezed so hard that he had to sit down on the sidewalk, his head throbbing from the effort.

The ninth man was a college student who caught the virus from a roommate. He sneezed into his elbow during class, hoping he wasn't spreading the virus to anyone else.

The tenth man was a doctor who caught the virus from a patient. He sneezed while examining a patient, his "Aaa-CHOO!" startling the patient and leaving him feeling embarrassed.

Each man in the chain experienced the same symptoms: sore throats, runny noses, and headaches that left them struggling to concentrate. They all sneezed frequently, sending contagious droplets into the air and infecting others.

It wasn't until the tenth man, the doctor, realized what was happening that the chain was broken. He urged everyone to stay home if they were sick and to wash their hands frequently to prevent the spread of germs. He also encouraged people to cover their mouths and noses with a tissue or the inside of their elbow when they sneezed or coughed.

The chain was finally broken, but the lesson remained: a single sneeze can start a chain reaction that can infect many others.

[90percenthoneydew]

omg i find this hilarious. some of these are better than half the human written fics i've read. chatGPT is an expert i guess. thanks for sharing! 

[colormepink]

These are pretty good for an AI! I tried using ChatGPT once but as much as I tried it never spelled out the sneezes lol thanks for sharing!

[asapyams]

What did you say to get it to spell the sneezes out? I couldn't get it to spell them out no matter what I said.

[N_splashsneeze]

These are funny! They are both really formulaic, and still not bad. It seems like other ai or whatever in  that it probably doesn't get a lot of overall variety in the output, but it's still possibly useful. It could definitely add a lot more details. 

[French Sneezer]

I am doing that myself quite a lot recently 😁 Some of the things I find annoying:

- the characters ending up in hospital because of a simple cold

- other characters being mad at them for "not taking care of themselves'

- sneezes "echoing through the room"

- general overexaggerating (like people sneezing constantly, making the cold unrealistic).

I usually try to come up with another plot the AI can focus on so the cold takes a bit of a backseat. I also don't care about spelled-out sneezes, so it generally works pretty well for me.