Adventures in cat sitting (XFiles - M & F)

[krazykat]

So I started watching the Xfiles again, and had forgotten just how much I love the Mulder and Scully dynamic. I then stumbled across a fanfic that had an ending that just lent itself to a sequel...

LINK: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34213984/chapters/86619136  (Prompt 31)

Ending...

Scully and Mulder share a more overt look and an eye conversation that consists of Should we? Why not? Yeah, okay. before they turn back to their superior. Scully speaks up.

"We'd be happy to watch..."

"Mittens."

"Mittens." Scully confirms with a nod, looking to her partner. "Right, Mulder?"

He nods back. "Absolutely."

Skinner lets out a relieved sigh. "Thank you both, I promise it won't be anything too intense. She's litter-trained and pretty well-behaved. She'll just sleep and lay around all day. Thank you, really." For lack of a more casual action, he shakes both their hands.

On the way back down to the basement, Mulder looks at Scully quizzically. "I thought you were allergic to cats."

She grimaces. "I am. Aren't you?"

He holds the door to their office open for her and sighs. "Yeah, but the Skinman doesn't need to know that."


The story continues...

"Just how allergic to cats are you Mulder?" Scully asked as she sat down in the chair in front of Mulder's desk. "I mean I know you've mentioned being allergic in passing, but I've seen you play with them while interviewing witnesses in the past and they have never really seemed to affect you".

Leaning back in his chair, his feet coming up to rest on the edge of his desk, Mulder chuckled. "Honestly? Without antihistamines I'm a complete mess. My eyes and throat itch, and I just sneeze and sneeze and sneeze. You remember Reggie?" Scully nodded. "Yeah, I met him during the John Barnett case. He seemed like a really nice guy".

"He was...." Mulder replied; a sad smile gracing his features as he remembered his former ASAC rolling his eyes in exasperation at being greeted  with the teasing chant of "Reggie! Reggie!" by his Yankees loving subordinate. "He was a really good friend. Anyway,  Reggie called me out to a crime scene in the early hours of the morning once, and because I was half asleep I forgot to take my antihistamines".

Scully smiled. "Let me guess... the victim had a cat".

Shaking his head gently, Mulder chuckled. "No. The victim had 4 cats. Within minutes of being there I was sneezing so much that I could barely catch my breath. My eyes were streaming, and Reggie practically had to carry me out of there in order to stop me stumbling all over the crime scene and destroying the evidence".

"I can only imagine the looks of hatred you must have been getting from the crime scene techs".

"Yeah, they were pretty much having an apoplectic fit about my sneezes potentially contaminating their crime scene. I think they might have actually killed me if I had tripped over my own feet while sneezing! Anyway, Reggie hauled me out of there and left me sat in the bucar for about an hour sneezing my head off while he examined the crime scene. Poor bastard then had to listen to me sneeze for the entire journey back to DC due to the cat hair on our clothes".

Eyes wide, Scully sighed. "You're really that allergic?"

"Yeah. Even after taking an antihistamine the reaction didn't stop until we'd both gotten changed into new suits. It did teach me one thing though".

Tilting her head slowly to one side, Scully asked "what's that?"

"To always keep a strip of antihistamines in my wallet!" he replied, pulling his wallet from his pocket and removing a blister strip of pills out from behind his driving licence. "I usually take one as we're heading out to a crime scene or the home of a witness. On top of the dose usually in my system it means I can normally risk giving the fuzzballs a quick head rub. I actually really like cats, and if I wasn't allergic I'd definitely keep one as a pet".

"Really?" Scully said, a perfectly groomed eyebrow arching upwards questioningly. "I never pictured you as a cat person. Although I guess that makes sense. You hated poor Queequeg!"

"In my defence that was not a dog. It was a rat on a lead that ate it's previous owner and regularly growled at me. My speciality might be human behaviour but I'm pretty sure that fluffball would have eaten my ankles if it had been given half a chance! What about you? I recall quite a bit of sniffling and itching during that case with the killer cats, but not any sneezing".

"Oh there was sneezing. That came while you were dealing with animal control and the paramedics were cleaning and dressing all of the cat scratches on my neck and face. I felt awful. There was one point where I was about to sneeze and one of the paramedics tilted my head up to access a deep scratch on my neck. Before I could pull away I'd sneezed all over him".

As he watched his partner's face turn red with embarrassment, Mulder couldn't help but laugh.

"Stop laughing Mulder. It was mortifying! They eventually gave me some benadryl, which got the worst of the sneezing under control.  Unfortunately it did absolutely nothing for the hives. I was itchy for days! Honestly, Mulder, what on earth were we thinking when we said yes to cat sitting?!"

Shaking his head, Mulder replied "I honestly don't know. All I know is that the Skinman has been really supportive to us during the last 12 months. I'm sure we can put up with being completely hopped up on antihistamines for two weeks. We'll just have to figure it out".
 

Edited April 22, 2023 by krazykat

[krazykat]

Mulder looked up from the expense report he was completing. "Scully? Have you got any idea what we might have spent $33.16 on at the pharmacy on M Street back in April?"

"Medical supplies, including gauze, a finger splint and advil" she replied without looking up from the report she was typing.

"Ah, yes. That was a fun night... having my fingers broken by terrorists. Remind me to never sign up for undercover work again".

Scully grimaced at the memories of that case and the overwhelming feeling of anxiety that Mulder repeatedly lying to her had caused. "Or at least let your partner know about your undercover activities so she doesn't think you are committing treason by working with terrorists".

"I know. I should have just ignored them when they told me not to tell you. It would have made my life a lot easier if you'd just known about the operation from the start". As he spoke, Mulder sent the completed expense reports to the printer. Walking across the room he grabbed the printed documents, before returning to his desk and clipping all of the receipts on his desk to the freshly printed report in the order they appeared on the document.

Sliding the documents into an envelope he glanced at Scully. "I'd better get these expense reports up to Skinner so he can sign them off before he turns his out of office on. I'll see if I can find out more details about cat sitting Mittens while I'm up there. I'm just desperately hoping he wants to give us the keys to his place and that he doesn't expect one of us to take Mittens home as I really don't think that will work".

"Why not?" she asked, curiously.

"Can you live with a cat?" he responded.

"I don't know. I've never stayed with or dated anybody who has had a cat".

"Well I know for a fact that I can't  Even when I'm completely maxed out on antihistamines I still end up sneezing like crazy".

"I take it that you are talking from experience?" Scully asked, slipping her reading glasses off her face, waiting for him to respond.

"Yeah. About 9 years ago I was seeing someone, and while I was out of town testifying in a trial she found a cat with a broken leg in the alleyway behind our apartment. She took it to a vet who patched up the leg, and then brought it home to nurse it back to health. Our spare room became Lucky's room".

"Your spare room? You used to be in a relationship that was that serious you had a spare room?" Scully asked, trying to hide the shocked and slightly hurt feeling that bubbled up inside of her at the thought of him living with another woman.

"Yeah, I was. Anyway, as I was saying. I had been out of town testifying in a trial when all of this was happening, and when I got home she was out with friends. I spent that evening getting more and more itchy and congested, and wondering what on earth was bothering my allergies".

FLASHBACK

"Diana? You home?" Mulder called out as he let himself into their apartment. Greeted by the sound of silence he walked into their bedroom and dropped his suitcase down next to the bed, before shedding his armani suit and pulling on a pair of jeans and a tshirt. After spending the last three days dressed mainly in suits, the soft material of his casual wear of choice felt heavenly.

Looking down he spotted a piece of paper on the pillow. "In case you get in from Chicago tonight and have forgotten where I am... I'm at Fratellis with Karen and Julia. Not planning on being late. Should be home by 10 at the latest. I've missed you! Di xx".

*Chinese takeout it is then* he thought to himself,  while chuckling softly at the thought of Diana and her two bridesmaids gossiping away, their conversation full of raucous laughter. It was already 8pm and if past experiences held true there was no way he was seeing his fiancée until at least 11pm.

His eyes itched and he rubbed at them gently, his inner voice gently reminding him that he had been wearing his contact lenses for nearly 18 hours. Spotting the spare pair of glasses lying on his bedside table he picked them up, walked into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. Pulling out a bottle of contact lens solution and a lens case he began the process of removing and storing his lenses, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand and sniffling as he did so. By the time he had finished removing his lenses it felt like an army of small ants had taken up residence in his sinuses, and he groaned to himself as he felt himself becoming congested. *Fucking air conditioning* he thought to himself; convinced that the irritation in his nose was just a reaction to the harsh, cold air on his flight that had resulted in a couple of sneezing fits while in the air.

Putting his glasses on he walked back into the bedroom, and grabbed a handkerchief out of his bedside table. Blowing his nose intensified the itch rather than relieving it, and his body tensed in anticipation of the sneeze. Eyes closed, he could feel the slight wrinkling at the bridge of his nose as his lungs quickly drew in breath. HETSCHMMMPH. His body jerked forward slightly; the muscles in his forearm, shoulders and back all contracting as he caught the sneeze in the soft white cotton.

An hour later, Mulder sat on the couch watching the Yankees-Orioles game; the coffee table he rested his feet on holding the remains of his Kung Pao Chicken and two empty bottles of Sam Adams. Although he was enjoying the game, the persistent itching that had taken up residence in his sinuses was beginning to drive him crazy, and he blew his nose for the 20th time that evening. Placing the handkerchief on his lap he gently massaged the bridge of his nose with his fingers,  but rather than bringing relief, his actions only served to intensify the itching and he only just managed to grab his handkerchief in time to catch the three sneezes that exploded out of him: HEHTSCHGXHHH HETSCHGXHHH HEHHTSCHUMMMPH.

By 10pm his sinuses were beginning to feel horribly congested. He blew his nose again, hoping for some relief, only to groan in frustration as the congestion lifted for just a couple of seconds before settling back in to place. His eyes were also itching like crazy, and he was beginning to wonder what on earth was causing his allergies to flair up like this. Putting his bottle of beer down, he got up from the couch and walked through to the bedroom, opened the drawer on his bedside table, and pulled out the bottle of antihistamines that lived there. Dry swallowing one of them he dropped the bottle back into the drawer and walked back into the living room; stumbling slightly as two violent HEHXTSCHOOOOOs caught him off guard.

Sitting down on the couch he turned his attention back to the game, and waited for the antihistamines to kick in. 

Just after 11pm he heard the sounds of keys jangling in the hallway and turned off the TV.  Thirty seconds later the door opened, and he could hear the high heels echoing off the wall as they were kicked off. *She's drunk* his inner voice told him; the behavioural analyst in him immediately noticing that the expensive shoes she loved buying were being carelessly discarded instead of being carefully removed and lovingly placed on the shoe rack in the hall. Laughing gently to himself he walked into the hallway and leant against the door jam, watching with amusement as Diana fumbled with the buttons on her coat. He loved seeing her like this; her calm and staid FBI demeanour completely stripped back to reveal the woman he fell in love with while training at Quantico.

HNNNNGTSXCHHHH

Another sneeze exploded out of his irritated sinuses, and he quickly turned his head to stifle it into his elbow. Sighing, he violently scrubbed at the bridge of his nose. The antihistamine might have reduced the itching in his eyes and sinuses, but now he just felt stuffy and bunged up, and he wasn't really quite sure which feeling was worse. Sighing again he opened his eyes, only to be met with a slightly amused but concerned glance.

"Are you OK Fox?"

Sniffling again, he nodded and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine. My allergies are just acting up. How are you doing? You're definitely looking more relaxed than you were when I left on Tuesday"

"I think that's probably down to the margaritas, if I'm honest" she replied, before placing both of her hands on his cheeks and drawing him in for a long, sensual kiss. "God I've missed you" she whispered as his lips left hers so he could start kissing his way down her neck.

"I've missed you to" he murmured before drawing back from her neck and coughing gently; a look of frustration falling over his features. "Sorry Di. I'm going to have to take a rain check on this. I'm so stuffed up right now I can't quite manage kissing and breathing at the same time".

Smiling, she kissed him on the cheek, and drunkenly staggered towards the kitchen. "It's OK. I desperately need water and painkillers. Margarita number 7 was probably one margarita too many if you ask me".

He chuckled, the corners of his eyes creasing with amusement as he watched her open and fail to shut the cabinet that held the glasses, and then struggle to open the fridge door to retrieve the jug of water that was usually chilling inside. Two glasses of water later, he watched her refill the jug and return it to the fridge; his smile turning to confusion as she proceeded to pull what looked like the world's smallest bottle of medicine and a small tub of tuna out of the fridge.

"What are you doing Di?" he asked curiously, as he watched her syringe a couple of drops of medicine into the tuna.

"I've got to give Lucky his medicine"

"Lucky? Medicine? What are you talking about?" he asked, a slight feeling of anxiety taking up residence in his stomach as he realised that there was probably a cat in their apartment. Had he ever told her that he was allergic to cats? No. He was pretty sure that they had never talked about it; their lease preventing them from keeping animals and none of their friends or family owning a cat.

He followed her out of the kitchen, watching as Diana opened the door to the spare room and turned on the light before crouching down next to a cardboard box on the floor. "I was coming home from work Wednesday night when I heard what sounded like a baby crying in the alleyway. I went to check it out and I found Lucky here. His leg was all twisted and he was just lying there quietly meowing, so I came back to the house, grabbed a cardboard box and took him to the vets. It was a fairly simple fracture so they were able to reset the bone without surgery. He's got painkillers to take and he's locked in here as we need to make sure he rests and doesn't try to do cat things like leap around the apartment".

Mulder watched as Diana lovingly stroked Lucky's ears, neck and chin; the itching in his sinuses increasing as he breathed in the dander filled air. *Shit. She's already attached to the evil furball* he thought before turning away to stifle another sneeze into his elbow. HHNGTXSCHHH

"Isn't he cute? Diana asked as she offered the tuna to Lucky, continuing to stroke his head gently as he ate from the tub.

"It's a cat. I'm not really sure that cute is the word I'd use" he replied dryly, watching her eyes narrow with an expression he couldn't quite place. *Was she annoyed? Angry? No, that didn't feel right*. He continued to watch as her expression changed into one he did recognise. It was the same detached but curious look she adopted when interviewing a witness.

"What's wrong Fox?"

He closed his eyes and sighed heavily; before lifting his hand up to his nose and scrubbing violently at the itch that had settled deep within his sinuses. He hated this part of allergies. The antihistamine he had taken a few hours ago was taking the edge off the reaction and preventing him from sneezing constantly, but he could still feel the urge to sneeze hovering, not strong enough to overpower the effects of the medication in his blood stream, but strong enough to drive him crazy. 

Opening his eyes he watched her stand up and walk towards him, the hand that had just been stroking the cat reaching out to cup his jaw. He stepped back quickly, registering the slightly hurt look in her eyes as he dodged her touch. "You can't keep him Di".

"I know our lease says we can't have a cat but the super would never know. He's completely unaware that the Kovac's have had a cat for four months now. We'd get away with it!"

"It's not the super I'm worried about Di. You can't keep him as I'm allergic to him". As if to emphasis that point his nose chose that exact moment to rebel against the sustained assault of allergens and he pitched forward with two more sneezes: the latter of which was so violent he couldn't fully stifle it.  HNNNGTXXXSCHHHH HNNNGTXXSCHIAOOOW  "Oh Shit" he exclaimed as he scrubbed at his watery eyes. "I'm sorry Di. I can't talk about this right now. I really need to get away from thi, from this ruh huh  HHHNGTSCHIAOOO room. Just do me a favour and wash your hands once you've finished playing with the cat". And with that he fled down the hallway towards the bathroom, desperate to bathe his eyes with cold water and blow his nose.

PRESENT DAY

"Lucky ended up living with us for 9 weeks while he recuperated from his injury and we found someone who was willing to adopt him. And I was a sniffling, sneezing mess for the duration even with increased doses of antihistamines, eye drops and steroid based nasal sprays. It was absolute hell. By week four I was practically begging Bill to send me out of town on consults, and I swear the bastard refused just so he could watch me suffer".

"And the woman you were with didn't get rid of the cat?"

"In her defence she did try to get him taken by other people, but she genuinely couldn't find anyone who was willing to take on an injured animal. Well, that's not true, we did find one shelter who would have taken him, but it didn't have a 'no kill policy', and despite spending most of my waking hours either cursing Lucky or threatening to shoot him, I didn't really have the heart to put the poor thing in the situation where he'd be killed if they couldn't find a long-term home for him".  

Scully smiled at him and laughed. "You are such a soft touch Mulder".

He smiled back, revelling in the mirth contained within his partner's eyes. "Yup. Which might explain why I was stupid enough to volunteer to cat sit in the first place!".

Edited April 22, 2023 by krazykat

[krazykat]

I promise there will be more sneezing. I'm just enjoying playing with the characters for now!

 

Walking into the small waiting room outside Skinner's office he said hi to Kimberley, before asking "is he free?"

Kimberley smiled in reply. "Just give him a few minutes Agent Mulder, he's on the phone with the AG about something".

"No problem, I can wait. So, are you taking some leave next week as well Kim? I know you normally try to take a few days when he's out of the office?" Mulder asked casually.

"Yeah, I'm going back to Wisconsin to visit my dad. He's not been doing so well since his stroke, and I'm beginning to think we might need to look into assisted living for him".

Mulder sighed, his mind immediately thrown back to dealing with his mother's stroke the previous year. "I'm sorry to hear that. I really don't envy you that task. I remember how confusing all the rehabilitation and support options were when I wa having to weigh them all up after my mum's stroke. Scully was an absolute Godsend. She patiently took me through all of the options, weighing up the pros and cons of each based on my mum's personal and medical needs. You should probably give her a call. I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help you make a decision, especially after all the help you give us with the old Skinman"

As Mulder spoke, the inner door quietly opened. Kimberley pursed her lips together to hide the laugh that threatened to spill from her lips as her boss stood in the doorway and gruffly said "Less of the old Mulder. And how many times do I have to ask you to stop referring to me as Skinman?!"

Mulder chuckled. "Probably as many times as I've asked dear old Edna at the BAU to call me Mulder, not Fox? I've got the latest set of expense reports for you, and if you've got some time I wanted to just clarify a few things about Mitten sitting".

"Oh is this who you talked in to cat sitting?" Kimberley asked her boss at the same time he turned back towards his office and said "of course Agent Mulder, come in". Turning towards Mulder Kimberley continued talking. "He asked me to do it, but I'm horribly allergic to cats so I had to say no". Mulder nodded politely, before turning to follow his boss into his office, muttering "now that sounds like the sensible answer somebody with a cat allergy would give" under his breath.

After dropping the envelope containing the expense reports on to Skinner's desk, Mulder moved to sit in his customary seat closest to the door. Raising an eyebrow questioningly in response to Skinner's light chuckle. "Sorry Mulder. It just amuses me the way every set of Agents I manage seem to have a preferred chair and religiously stick to it".

Mulder smiled. "People tend to be creatures of habit Sir. It's not really that surprising. What's weirder, when you think about it, is that if we're working on reports at home we always sit the opposite way round. I'm always on the right and Scully's always on the left". Noting his bosses blank expression, he curtailed his thoughts on the matter, instead saying "perhaps we should move on to talking about Mittens before I start obsessing over the psychological implications of changed seating preferences based upon the nature of the liminal space the seats are in".

"Mulder, you worry me sometimes", Skinner said shaking his head, a wry grin on his face, the only evidence that he was teasing the younger man.

Mulder laughed "You sounded just like Scully right now Sir. Speaking of creatures of habit, I take it you would prefer to leave Mittens in familiar surroundings to avoid her having to acclimatise to a new environment. Scully and I are close enough that we can easily swing by to check on her, feed her etc. We can always water the plants and gather up the mail at the same time".

"Erm, If I'm honest I was hoping that either you or Scully would keep her at your respective apartments. I know I said she sleeps most of the day, but she's quite a young cat, is very sociable and likes lots of cuddles on a night time. She also loves chasing after her toy mice, and she goes absolutely nuts for this bird on a stick toy that she has. You just wave it around the room and she goes mental leaping and jumping, and trying to catch it. She's been really good for me and Sharon. I still find it difficult to talk to her about a lot of things, but having Mittens around makes it a lot easier. I guess it's like having one of those therapets".

Mulder swallowed surreptitiously, a feeling of dread pooling in his stomach as it became clear that leaving the fuzzball at Skinner's was not what his boss had anticipated. *You could just back out* he told himself, all the while hating himself for even thinking those words. His boss was a man who had learned to be closed off at a young age in order to deal with the horrors of Vietnam. And years working in violent crimes had only strengthened those walls. And yet here he was, waxing lyrical about the beneficial impacts of pet ownership on his interpersonal relationships and psychological wellbeing.

Nodding slightly as his boss continued speaking, Mulder considered just what the invitation to look after Mittens meant. His boss didn't have many close friends - they were similar in that respect - so by asking him and Scully to look after his cat he was revealing that he not only trusted them, but counted them as being part of the limited circle of people he could rely on. And after everything the man had done for him and Scully in the last two years, could they really say no? For crying out loud, the man had taken a bullet for trying to keep the investigation into Melissa Scully's death open. He had supported Mulder through his dad's murder and his mother's stroke, and he had somehow managed to save his job after both the Roche and Goldstein fiascos. And most recently he had risked his own job in order to do a deal with the Devil while Scully lay dying from cancer.

*You owe him so much. What's a couple of weeks of sneezing and watery eyes while he works on his marriage? You can always have your apartment deep cleaned afterwards*. Decision made, Mulder spoke. "It sounds like Mittens has been a really positive addition to your household Sir. I'm sure Scully and I can work out something between us. Is there anything else we need to know or do?"

"Well, there is one thing. It was something I had forgotten about when I asked you and Scully to look after Mittens".

"And what would that be Sir?"

"She has an appointment at the vet for her annual vaccinations a week on Saturday. We made the appointment last year, and completely forgot about it until the reminder email came out yesterday. If you were able to take her to that appointment it would be really appreciated, but if not we can reschedule it".

"Errr, why don't you give us the details and we'll see if it's possible. If not we can always cancel the appointment ourselves". Listening to the words falling from his lips, Mulder quietly wondered if he was having some kind of mental breakdown. Agreeing to look after one cat was stupid enough, but agreeing to go sit in a vets waiting room was just stupidity. Shifting subtly in his seat he grimaced as he heads his inner Scully threatening to put a bullet in his other shoulder. Ignoring her, he asked "how do you want to arrange the handover Sir?"

"Why don't you let me know whose apartment she is going to be staying at and we'll drop her, and all of her things, off tomorrow evening. Our flight is first thing on Saturday morning so it would be good to just relax the night before".

"OK. I'll speak to Scully and we'll come to an arrangement. If that's all Sir?"

"Yes, that's everything Mulder". Picking up his pen, Skinner opened the file that was sitting on his blotter and began reading, while Mulder pushed himself up off his chair and opened the door.

"Agent Mulder?"

Mulder stopped, looking back over his shoulder at his boss.

"I really do appreciate this Mulder. Thank you".

Mulder pursed his lips, nodded and said "it's no problem Sir" before slipping out into the outer office and closing his eyes; a resigned expression coming to rest on his face. He opened his eyes again as he heard Kimberley ask "Is everything okay Agent Mulder?" "Yeah, everything's fine Kim. I just didn't sleep well last night".

"Well how is that different from any other day Mr Insomnia?" Kimberley responded, a sympathetic, yet teasing smile gracing her lips.


Mulder smiled, a whispered "ha ha" falling from his lips in response. "Have a good trip home Kimberley".

"Thanks. Happy cat sitting Agent Mulder!"

As he walked from Skinner's office to the bank of elevators that went down to the basement, all he could hear was a little voice in his head whispering *Scully's going to murder you!*

[krazykat]

Scully sat at her desk, listening as her partner's footsteps came to a halt just outside of their office door. Curious as to why he had stopped outside of the door, rather than entering the office, she rose from her chair, walked over to the door and opened it. Her partner looked nervous, for lack of a better word. It was an emotional state that she wasn't used to seeing from him, and she couldn't help but wonder how the meeting with Skinner had gone.

"Mulder?"

"Yeah, Scully"

"You planning on staying in the hall all night or would you like to come into our office?"

Looking at her, and taking in the subtle smile that hid beneath the stern facial expression that many a newbie had interpreted as a scowl, Mulder walked towards her and smiled wryly.

Stepping back to let him cross the threshold into the office, Scully tilted her head slightly to the side and appraised her partner with a raised eyebrow; her eyes furrowing as she noticed that his body language was screaming the phrase 'Scully's going to kill me'. Slowly crossing her arms, she let out a small sigh.

"Mulder. Why do I get the feeling that you've done something stupid like promise Skinner you'd buy a second cat so that his cat and your cat can make little feline babies while he's on holiday?"

Mulder laughed. His hazel eyes twinkling with delight as his partner showed off her playful side. Almost instantly his mind provided what he hoped would be the witty retort that would cause his staid partner to laugh out loud.

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it all afternoon. Was considering calling it the Feline Birthing Initiative".

Scully pursed her lips, her cheeks hollowing and her throat swallowing repeatedly as she tried to prevent herself from laughing at his creative use of the initials FBI.

"Mulder..."

"Yes, Scully?"

"Out of curiosity, what have you roped us into?"

Perching on the edge of his desk, Mulder smiled. "Well, let's just say that Walter Skinner, former Marine and Assistant Director overseeing the violent crimes section of the FBI, is concerned about his cat Mittens being left alone without cuddles, chin tickles and indentured human servants that can throw her toy mice and make her birdy on a stick toy dance around the living room. Oh, and he wants us to take her to the vet for her annual vaccinations a week on Saturday".

Mulder looked up at his partner as he spoke, noting the way she was gently biting the inside of her lips to stop from smiling. All of a sudden the image of his partner blurred away as his eidetic memory provided him with the image of a much younger version of his partner sat in a downtrodden bar  wearing an 'off the rack" tan coloured suit, and stage-whispering 'sucker' at him.

Shaking his head slightly to dispel the image he bent his head forward and said "I know. I'm weak. I went up there all FBI assertive, we'll take your keys, water your plants, check on the cat, and then he started talking about therapets and then alluding to the positive influence of animals on mental health and interpersonal relationships and the psychologist in my head took over, and before I knew it I was agreeing to take Mittens to the vet".

"And let her stay at one of our apartments?"

"Yeah, that too. Seriously, why did you let me go up there alone?!"

"Let you?! Mulder you have a PhD in clinical psychology awarded by one of the world's leading universities, you're an NCAVC certified criminal profiler and an FBI agent. I didn't really think you needed a babysitter just to go speak with our boss!"

Mulder laughed, throwing his arms up in the air as he jokingly exclaimed: " it's like you've never met me Scully!"

Scully sighed; a mildly exasperated sigh that was tinged with amused resignation. "The annoying thing is, that having listened to you describe your reactions to cats when your meds wear off, and knowing you don't have a spare room that you can use to minimise your exposure, the medical doctor that lives in my brain is telling me that Mittens will be living with me for the next two weeks".

"You don't have to do that Scully. I admit it won't exactly be fun having her stay at mine, but I'll manage. I've done it before. And if the worst comes to the worst she can just have my apartment and I'll  move in with you. Actually that sounds like a great plan. The cat can fend for herself and you can feed me,  let me sleep on your bed and give me regular back and belly rubs".

Openly laughing now at the way Mulder was waggling his eyebrows at her, Scully replied "in your dreams Mulder!". Taking a deep breath, Scully continued: "seriously though, the cat can stay in my spare room on the understanding that you will be the one that takes her to the vet, and we'll split the cost of having my carpets professionally cleaned to get rid of the cat hair".

"I can't ask you to do that Scully" Mulder replied earnestly.

"You didn't. I offered. Mulder it makes sense. I have a spare room where I can keep the cat. Yes, I don't know how i'll react to having her in the apartment, but at least I can reduce my exposure. You can't do that in your apartment. You'd be absolutely miserable".

"OK, but only if you are sure".

"I'm sure Mulder. So when are we supposed to pick her up?"

"Skinner said they they want to drop her off tomorrow evening; all we need to do is let him know which of our apartments he's taking her to".

"OK. Well why don't you drop him an email letting him know the arrangements while I finish the last section of this report. And then how about we finish up slightly early?  We can go shopping for antihistamines and eye drops, and then you can treat me to dinner at that new Italian place near my apartment".

"Sounds good to me Scully".

[SleepingPhlox]

Wow, the X Files, now there's a bit of nostalgia! This is so good, I love the interactions between the two of them, and all of the scene setting, it's just so fantastic!

[krazykat]

Scully stood in the pharmacy aisle reading the description on the back of the box of flonase allergy and headache tablets; her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she squinted at the small text without her glasses.

Stepping into her personal space Mulder reached down, took the packet out of her hands and placed it back on the shelf. "Scully, you're a doctor. Stop falling for the shiny packaging. It's just acetaminophen, with a low dose antihistamine and a decongestant. And it's not even a decent dose of antihistamine. You'll have to take those every 4 hours if the fuzzball is getting to you".

She sighed. "I know, but a short-lasting dose might be OK, and it means I won't have to be medicated at work if i don't need to be".

Mulder chuckled. "I love your optimism Scully, but somehow I suspect that it would be easier on you to just be medicated 24/7 while Mittens stays over".

"I don't know. I'm used to only taking antihistamines when I need them. Cats are the only thing I'm allergic to, and we don't actually come across them  often enough in our jobs to justify taking them regularly".

Mulder shook his head, a slight laugh escaping from his lips. "Lucky you. I take them every day of the year, and my allergies still get the better of me sometimes.  What do you usually take when you need it?"

"I normally just take Benadryl because it only lasts about 6 hours, and although it makes me feel a bit drowsy for the first hour or so, it doesn't really matter that much as if I've had to take it I'm normally too itchy or sneezy to concentrate on work anyway". As she said this, she picked up a box of benadryl and started flipping it over, only for it to be taken out of her hands and replaced with the 24 hour relief version.

"So you've never had to take antihistamines regularly? Not even after the cat scratches?" Mulder asked.

"No. I was using a steroid cream on them to relieve the itching. I don't think I should get these Mulder, not if the short acting ones cause drowsiness".

"The drowsiness is why I avoid them. Last time I took benadryl was while out on a case for the ISU. The UNSUB kidnapped and murdered married couples, and he'd dumped their bodies on a horse ranch. Learned two things that day. One, I'm horrendously allergic to horses. Two, even the lowest dose of benadryl knocks me out for 4 hours".

"I didn't know you were allergic to horses".

"Another thing we don't come across much in our work. I can only think of a couple of times we've been anywhere near them and I just increased the dosage to cope".

"You sound like a bloody connoisseur of allergy medications Mulder"

"It's an unintentional specialist subject Scully. I've got lousy hayfever and I'm also allergic to dust, cats and horses. You know how weird my body is when it comes to metabolising drugs, and antihistamines are no different. There's a bunch of meds I can't take at all either because the lowest doses knock me out or because the amount of drug I need to alleviate symptoms makes me too drowsy to safely operate in the field. There are also a couple of brands that I can practically overdose on and they do absolutely nothing for me. There was a lot of trial and error during my early twenties to find the right combination of drugs to let me function".

"It obviously works though as most of the time you wouldn't even know you had allergies".

Mulder smiled. "Yeah. All hail the wonder that is socialised medicine!" Noting the slight head tilt and curious expression on Scully's face, he continued. "Between my undergrad and postgrad I lived in the UK for nearly seven years, and the first couple of springs were absolutely hellish as I was really allergic to rapeseed. Ended up being referred to an allergist by my GP, and after trying a whole bunch of things she finally worked out that if she prescribed nasal steroids with an off the label dose of claritin it controlled the majority of my symptoms. The best part was I didn't have to pay a penny. The cost of the same treatment in our profits driven system would have made me cry as a student".

"What dosage do you take?" she asked, genuinely curious, as although she knew he regularly took claritin she had never really paid attention to the dosage as it wasn't information she was required to know.

"I usually take 10mg twice a day, which is double what the manufacturers recommend. But on bad days, I'm allowed to double it. When Lucky was living with us I was taking 40mg a day and was still sneezing up a storm". He shook his head slightly, a slight chuckle falling from his lips as he remembered just how miserable he had been during that period in his life when everything they had owned had ended up covered in cat hair, even with Diana's best efforts to keep the cat sequestered in his own room.

"Why claritin?" Scully asked.

"It's non-sedating, which is definitely an advantage when you're paid to carry a gun and watch your partner's back".

"That's a good point. OK, Claritin it is then". And with that she leaned past him and picked up a box of 45 claritin; only for it to be plucked out of her fingers and placed back on the shelf by Mulder once again. Turning to face him she said "Mulder", a hint of annoyance underlying the questioning tone evident in her voice.

"Shiny packaging, shiny prices Scully. Trust the person who can't function without this stuff". And with that he leant down towards the bottom of the shelf and pulled a bottle of pills off the shelf. "100 tablets of the exact same product minus expensive advertising for less than half the price.".

"Mulder, I don't need 100 antihistamine tablets!"

"No, but I'll happily take the rest of the bottle off your hands once Mittens has been returned to the Skinman. Also means you've got extra if I come over to yours for any reason and need to top up the antihistamine levels in my bloodstream". As he spoke Mulder grabbed a bottle of flonase and two boxes of medicated eyedrops off the shelves in front of them. "I should probably accept now that I'm not going to be able to wear my lenses for the next few weeks, but I can always hope!"

As they walked towards the till to pay, Mulder stopped briefly at a stand holding bags of sunflower seeds. "Do you ever wonder how many trips federal employees have made to CVS stores over the years for medical supplies, forgotten toiletries and all the snacks and caffeine needed to survive stakeouts?"

"Errrr... no. I can't say that is something I've ever thought about Mulder. Why?" Scully replied, patiently waiting while Mulder pulled a couple of bags of seeds of the display, dropped them into their basket and joined the queue to pay.

"I guess I'm just wondering why we don't have a corporate account. I mean think about it. No more expense claims to fill out".

"You know it wouldn't work like that. You'd still have to keep the receipts, and then check the invoices on the account. Would it really be less work?"

"Of course it would. The expenses would already be listed and would just need cross-referenced, whereas at the moment we spend hours filling in forms with that data. Think of how we could use all of those extra hours!"

Scully stared at her partner and deliberately faked a shudder. "I dread to think how you would use those hours Mulder. You'd probably spend all of your time scouring the National Enquirer for new cases or watching those videos that aren't yours".

An expression of mock outrage appeared on his face. "Agent Scully. I'll have you know that some of our best cases have been worthy of coverage in the National Enquirer!"

"Mulder, I'm not sure I will ever count the flukeman as one of our best cases".

"Ahhh, but it was still better than wiretap duty!"

They both laughed; the huge smile lighting up Scully's face mirrored on Mulder's. "Or that time I deliberately made you glove up and dig through medical waste because you'd pissed me off and I wanted to torture your squeamish ass?"

"I fucking knew it!" Mulder exclaimed, his jaw dropping as a look of amused incredulity spread across his face. "You are evil. I spent most of that day trying not to hurl. And even after 6 showers I still didn't feel clean!"

Scully looked a touch chagrined, as the cashier rang their products through, a look of bemused alarm registering on their face at the mention of body parts. "I'm sorry. I did feel a little bit bad about doing that to you. You were rather green looking!"

Mulder chuckled as he paid for their shopping. "Don't worry about it. I'm not sure what I did to piss you off, but I probably deserved the punishment".

Edited April 23, 2023 by krazykat

[krazykat]

"It's nearly 4pm Scully. Why don't we pack up these files, head over to yours, order some takeout, and await the arrival of the fuzzball".

"Do we have to?"

"Why? Are you feeling nervous?"

"About inviting a tiny cat into my home? Yeah. It sounds pathetic, but I'm worried about how I'm going to react, how you're going to react, and whether we'll actually be able to function enough to do our jobs".

Mulder chuckled gently as he watched his usually unflappable partner stress. Walking towards her he reached out his hands and rested them on her shoulders. "Scully, it will be fine. Yes, there's a possibility that we'll be miserable, but we've got meds and you're not going to be around the cat 24/7. Come on, between us we've been shot, stabbed, held hostage and had our minds regulary fucked with. We can survive two weeks with an itty bitty kitty called Mittens".

"I hope so Mulder".

Dropping his hands from her shoulders Mulder walked back to his desk and started gathering together the files on his desk; packing them into his briefcase along with his laptop and some legal pads. His actions mirrored by Scully as she packed the files she was working on into her own briefcase.

"What do you fancy for dinner tonight Scully? I'm pretty sure it's your turn to pick".

"I don't know. I'm not sure I actually fancy take out  tonight".

"You want to cook? Because if you do I'd like to remind you of how inept I am in the kitchen".

Scully chuckled. "You don't need to remind me Mulder. I've witnessed the hilarity that is you cooking a simple meal. How the hell you can manage to use every single dish in your kitchen making spaghetti bolognaise I'll never know!"

"Maybe it should be an X-file Scully!"

"Mulder, the only X-files in your kitchen are the contents of your fridge. There are probably undiscovered lifeforms living in there! But seriously, my mum restocked my freezer with leftovers a few weeks back. There's a couple of portions of that beef stew you love. I could always run down to the store and get some crusty bread and some wine to go with it?"

"Did she happen to put some of that sinfully delicious apple pie she makes in there too?"

Scully rolled her eyes. "What is it with you and pies?"

Mulder shrugged as he replied "What? Pie is delicious! And your mum makes one of the best apple pies I've ever tasted. So?"

"Soooooo?"

"Is there pie?"

"All I know is that I'll need to get ice cream if we're having dessert as well".

Scully smiled at the little happy dance her partner appeared to be doing in response to the promise of apple pie and ice cream. *He's such a big kid sometimes* she thought to herself as she grabbed her briefcase and walked to the door. "You coming Mulder?"

"Yeah, just let me grab my glasses".


TWO HOURS LATER

Mulder sat at the breakfast bar in Scully's kitchen, a glass of iced tea sat next to his laptop and the case file he was writing an end of case report for. The kitchen smelled amazing; Maggie's stew gently reheating in the oven while Scully nipped to the shop to pick up the bread and wine to go with it. Looking at his watch to check the time he noted that it was nearly 6pm. Sliding off the bar stool he walked over to her couch where his 'go bag' sat.

Opening his bag he pulled out the toiletries kit that he kept in there. Undoing the zip he reached inside and retrieved the bottles of claritin and flonase that  were stored inside. Opening the pill bottle he pulled out a pill and dry swallowed it, before opening up the flonase and using it. Skinner was due to drop Mittens off at 7pm, which gave the meds plenty of time to get to work in his system. Putting everything back in his bag, he pulled out his contact lens case and fluid. *May as well take these out now* he thought to himself; fully anticipating that his eyes would be too itchy to tolerate his lenses once the fuzzball arrived.

After removing his lenses and storing them in his bag he slipped his glasses on, and pulled a tshirt and a pair of jeans out of the bag. Standing up he walked into the bathroom, closed the door and started getting changed out of his suit. As he did so he looked around the room, smiling at the number of little bottles that adorned the surfaces. The woman was absolutely obsessed with buying bubble baths and shoes; something he'd long stopped teasing her about after she had taken great delight in pointing out his own weakness for buying watches.

"Mulder? Scully's voiced echoed through her apartment as he heard the sound of her front door closing behind her. Finishing pulling on his jeans, he quickly collected  together his work clothes and headed back into her living room. "Hey Scully. Was just getting changed. Figured if I need to burn my clothes I'd rather sacrifice a pair of Levi's than the Hugo Boss".

"Mulder, the amount you spend on clothes is absolutely ridiculous; especially given the way you trash them at work".

"It's not my fault that our jobs involve so much exposure to things that destroy clothes"

"Or shoes" Scully added mournfully.

Mulder chuckled, packing his suit back into his 'go bag' and pulling out a pair of trainers. "Well, you do insist on chasing suspects in three inch heels! You're bound to break a heel every once in a while. While we're on the subject of personal effects, is there anything in the spare room that you want moved out of there? You know, before the fuzzball arrives and covers everything in fur"

"I did it this morning. It was mainly dry cleaning that I hadn't put away yet".

"OK". Picking up his bag, Mulder walked to the front door and opened it before saying "I'm just going to run this down to my car now; hopefully that way I can avoid taking any more cat hair home than I have to".

"No worries Mulder. Oh. Before you go, they didn't have any decent white wine so I picked up some beers for you." Shaking her head slightly and adopting a fake expression of irritation, she continued: "you know, since you're a complete pain in the ass and can't drink red".

Mulder shrugged, replying "it's not my fault the stuff triggers my migraines Scully" before walking out of her apartment and closing the door.

Looking at her couch, the memory of her and the man she had thought was Mulder sharing a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon flashed before her eyes. "A random Mulder factoid that it would have been handy to know before Eddie Van Blundht took over your life for a few days".

******************************************
As Mulder slammed his trunk closed he spotted Skinner reverse into an empty space across the street. *He's early* he thought to himself as he looked at his watch; noting that it was only just approaching 6.30pm.

Locking his car, he crossed the street. Noticing Sharon Skinner sat in the passenger seat he automatically reached out to open the door for her; the old world manners his mother had drummed into him as instinctual as breathing. "Good evening Sir, Mrs Skinner" he said as he stepped backwards, holding the door open as Sharon exited the car.

"Thank you Agent Mulder", Sharon uttered as she smiled at him. He could feel the nervousness rolling off her; an emotion that was understandable given the fact that he'd last met her when questioning her about a dead woman her husband had slept with as their marriage fell apart.

He smiled at her, before saying "You can drop the  Agent if you like. I'm off duty". Watching her carefully he couldn't help but notice her tense at the reminder of his job. Drawing on his training as a psychologist he concluded that he needed to do something to reduce the power imbalance between them, and at that exact moment there was only one way he could think of doing that. "I usually just go by Mulder, but if you'd prefer first names I guess I can tolerate Fox for a short while".

As his boss looked at him as if he'd grown three heads, Sharon smiled. "Thank you Fox. If I'm honest I really can't stand that militaristic surname thing. It just seems so dehumanising".

"That's completely understandable if you're not used to it". Turning to face his boss he asked "do you need a hand carrying anything up the stairs Sir?"

"Knock off the 'Sir' Mulder. I'm on vacation. It's Walter".

"Yes Sir" he replied instinctively, before laughing at the irritated expression on his bosses face. "Let me try that again. Yes, Walter". Laughing he turned back to Sharon and said "God that feels weird. You're going to have to bear with me on that one Mrs Skinner. I suspect both Scully, sorry, Dana and I are going to struggle with that one".

Smiling at him, Sharon replied "Don't worry about it Fox. And feel free to call me Sharon".

"I will do. So, back to my question... Walter... do you need a hand carrying anything upstairs?"

"That would be appreciated Mulder".

******************************************

As Mulder, Sharon and Skinner waited patiently for the elevator to arrive, Mrs Wittkowski, the elderly lady who lived on the same floor as Scully, walked into the lobby. Greeting her warmly, Mulder indicated that he would take the stairs rather than making her wait for the elevator to come back down, and headed for the stairwell.

Entering the stairwell, he leant backwards against the door and sneezed. His eyes, nose and throat were itching like crazy as a result of the copious amounts of dander that covered the cat bed and blanket he had been asked to carry up to Scully's apartment. Sighing, he started walking up the stairs, pausing on the second floor to let an uncovered HUUHHRTSCHHUUUM echo through the stairwell.

Reaching the third floor, he pushed open the stairwell door, and walked down the corridor towards Scully's apartment; noting that the door had been left ajar. As he passed Mrs Wittkowski's apartment her door opened. "Mr Mulder. I hate to bother you, but I think the batteries in my smoke detector need changing and the super isn't here. All of that beeping is going to drive me mad. Would you have a few minutes to spare in order to help save an old woman's sanity?"

"Of course. Just give me a few minutes to offload this stuff and I'll come along" he replied, before turning away from her and sneezing. Reaching Scully's apartment, he nudged the door open with  his foot and walked into the apartment; kicking the door closed behind him. His sinuses were screaming at him; the proximity to the cat's bedding obviously too much for the antihistamines to contend with.

HNNNNGTSXCHHHH

He sneezed again; this time stifling it into his shoulder as he walked towards the voices coming from the spare room. Stepping into the room he could see his boss assembling the small cat tree that they had brought with them; a litter tray having already been set up in the corner of the room. In the opposite corner, Scully stood looking uncomfortable next to the food and water bowl that had been set up; a cat carrier resting on the floor at her feet. Ignoring the look that she sent him, he turned to Sharon and asked "would you mind taking these? Mrs Wittkowski needs me to fix something for her".

"Of course Fox" she replied, taking the bedding off him and setting it up next to the wardrobe as Scully's eyes widened at the use of his first name.

Resisting the urge to violently rub his eyes and nose, he turned and left the room. Walking into the bathroom he locked the door behind him and grabbed a handful of tissues just in time to stifle another sneeze. Dropping the used tissues into the bin he turned on the faucet and picked up the soap; washing his hands and forearms to remove as much of the dander as he could. Once done, he dried his hands; raising the hand towel to his face to catch another couple of sneezes that crept up on him suddenly.

Tossing the towel into the laundry basket, he grabbed another couple of tissues and blew his nose before pulling his wallet out of his pocket and retrieving the strip of claritin he kept in there for emergencies. Popping a pill out of the blister pack he swallowed it quickly before putting his the wallet back in his pocket and washing his hands again just in case touching his clothes had transferred more dander to his hands.

Feeling slightly more human, Mulder left the bathroom, and walked along the corridor to the front door. As he opened the front door he heard three high pitched hiiihtscheeews echo down the hallway; followed by the sound of Skinner and Sharon blessing Scully. As he closed the door behind him, a single thought echoed in his brain: *we are never going to survive the next two weeks!*

Edited April 23, 2023 by krazykat

[krazykat]

8 hours ago, SleepingPhlox said:

Wow, the X Files, now there's a bit of nostalgia! This is so good, I love the interactions between the two of them, and all of the scene setting, it's just so fantastic!

Thanks. They're such a fun pairing. Watching it again its almost hard to believe that it's 30 years since the pilot aired. They've done a lovely job of remastering it for BluRay.

[krazykat]

As he hopped down off the chair he had been balanced on to replace the batteries in the smoke detector, he felt his breath start hitching. Reaching into his pocket, he quickly pulled out his handkerchief and sneezed three times. Closing his eyes he blew his nose, before massaging his nose gently through the soft material.

"Are you OK Mr Mulder?" Mrs Wittkowski asked, placing a hand gently on his arm.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just allergies. I took some meds a while ago and I'm just waiting for them to kick in".

"Oh you poor boy. My dear late husband had allergies. Couldn't go anywhere near dogs without sneezing his head off, and he used to sneeze his way through March and April as the cherry blossoms bloomed".

"That sounds very familiar. As lovely as the blossom is to look at, it's absolute murder on my allergies". Mulder lifted the handkerchief back up to his nose and stifled a very wet sounding  HEHHTSCHHMMMPH into it. "Oh, excuse me Mrs Wittkowski".

"No need to apologise Mr Mulder".

"Look, I should probably get back. Is there anything else you need me to do before I go?"

"No, but just you wait there a minute. I have something for you".

Mulder watched her walk down the hallway towards the kitchen, wondering what on earth she was doing. Two minutes later he started grinning as she walked toward him carrying one of her homemade pies.

"It's cherry. You might be allergic to the blossoms, but I remember how you practically inhaled this when you came over to help my son carry my old dishwasher down the stairs".

Taking the pie from her, he smiled. "It was no problem Mrs Wittkowski. Thanks for the pie. I suspect I'm going to have to run at least 13 miles tomorrow to work this off!"

Ushering him to her door, she chuckled. "Show off. Here's me barely able to walk a mile, and you're talking about running 13 of them".

"Well, I've got go keep my boyish figure somehow! Goodnight Mrs Wittkowski".

"Goodnight Mr Mulder. Try not to eat the whole pie tonight!"

Mulder laughed, a full smile lighting up his features. "I will promise no such thing!".

As the door closed he walked back down the corridor to Scully's apartment, and knocked gently on the door. After a couple of minutes, Scully answered; a slight pink tinge to her nostrils evident in the bright light of the entranceway.

"Hey Scully. I have returned, having been gifted pie in exchange for manual labour. You OK?"

"Yeah, I'm fine".

Walking past her he headed into the kitchen, opened the fridge and rearranged the contents slightly so he could put the pie on one of the shelfs. As he finished he walked over to Scully and tweaked her nose gently. "Would that be a Scully fine or an actually fine, because you're kind of rocking the rudolph look right about now".

Scully glared at him, before giving in to the urge to sneeze his poking had generated. Hiiitschheeew Hehhhtscheeew Hiiiaatschoooooo. "Shut up Mulder, and leave my nose alone. I'm sneezy enough without you helping them along".

"Gezundheit. Is the claritin not working or is there just too much cat in the apartment?".

"I don't think it's either really. I lost track of the time and forgot to take the claritin before Skinner arrived with the cat so I'm now playing catch up".

"I take it they've gone?" Mulder asked, blowing his nose again.

"Yehhhhhitschewww", she sneezed again. Her attempt at saying the word yes hijacked by an unexpected sneeze. "Excuse me. Yes. They've gone. Sharon said to say goodbye and thank you to 'Fox' for her. I have to say, her calling you by your first name caught me a bit off guard".

"Yeah. She was pretty tense when she got here and it seemed like the FBI honorifics and the use of surnames was part of the problem. I offered the use of my first name on a hunch that she needed to feel more like an equal rather than the witness and then victim she was when we last met her".

Hehetschieeew, Scully sneezed again; her blue eyes watering as she brought her hand up to gently rub the bridge of her nose.

"Excuse me. Well it obviously worked as she was very taken with you. She even told me, when our boss was out of earshot, that you are probably the most aptly named man she has ever met. Apparently you are, and I quote, 'very foxy indeed'."

Blushing, Mulder laughed. "Oh dear lord. Honestly Scully if I had a dollar for every time someone has made a crack like that I'd be exceptionally rich. And people wonder why I hate my name!"
 

Scully laughed. "Are you hungry? Dinner should be about ready".

"Yeah. I'm stahhhhr, I'm starving" Mulder stammered out before sneezing violently. HAAARTSCHUUUUHM "But first, please tell me that you have some clothes of mine that you have stolen? I really need to get out of these cat-hair covered clothes".

"There should be a pair of grey sweatpants in the bottom drawer of my dresser. They're Charlie's but they should fit you. I think there's also a couple of your tshirts in there too; just stuff that I've gathered up while doing last minute motel sweeps and have been meaning to give back for a while now."

"Cheers Scull. Would you mind grabbing them to save me traipsing cat hair into your room? I'm rather covered in it thanks to carrying Mitten's bed up the stairs!"

"Yeah OK, but first I need tuuhh sneehhhze huuhyetscheeeew heehtscheeeew hiiihhetscheeew. Excuse me. Yes, I'll get them Mulder".

"Thanks".

Edited April 24, 2023 by krazykat

[krazykat]

As she bent down to take the stew out of the oven Scully laughed at the intermittent sounds of sneezing and cursing that drifted down the hall. Mittens had been at her home for less than an hour, and she'd already heard her partner sneeze more times than he had in the last week.

Placing the stew down on the counter she quickly rubbed her nose against the back of her wrist. *Not that you've been fairing much better* she thought to herself as her sinuses and eyes continued to itch.

Hhuhhnngtxchhh

Mulder sneezed as he walked into the room; his nostrils and eyes looking pink tinged. "Hope you dohd't bind but I cracked open the eye drops" he said, before catching another couple of sneezes in his handkerchief.

"You sound awful".

"I'll be fihd in a few bidutes" he replied before blowing his nose. "It probably doesn't sound like it but the antihistabines are working. How are you doing Scuwwy?"

"Scuwwy?" she repeated, chuckling gently. "Maybe you should just call me Dana until you can breathe again".

"Really? I'd hab thought that Dayduh would sound worse?" he replied, laughing at the horrified expression that appeared on Scully's face as the congestion in his nose caused him to mangle her name.

"Oh dear lord. I don't know which one is actually worse" she replied, shaking her head gently. "In answer to your question... I'm doing ok. I'm still itchy, but the antihistamines and being away from the cat seem to be helping".

"Good. Maybe there's hope for you yet!"

Scully started dishing up the stew as Mulder blew his nose again. She cringed at the sound; slightly bemused at just how much snot his nose seemed to be producing. "Maybe you should take another antihistamine Mulder?" 

"Honestly, I'b fine. Now that my clothes aren't cobered with cat hair the sneezing should start settling dowhd a bit. Adyway, i've already taken two todight".

"You're kidding me?" Scully asked as Mulder chuckled at the way her eyes widened in response to this revelation.

"In my defence, my plan to avoid coming into contact with the fuzzball was thwarted by Skinner arriving early and dumping a fur covered cat basket and blanket into my arms. If he hadn't done that I'd hab gotten away with just taking the one".

Blowing his nose again, Mulder felt the congestion finally starting to shift and took an experimental shift. It wasn't perfect, but he could at least breathe through his nose again. "Ahhh, that feels better. I think I might even be able to say your name again Scully".

Scully shivered slightly at the seductive way his rich baritone uttered her name. Looking up, she saw him smile; her reaction to his teasing tone having not escaped his attention. "That's good Mulder. Any chance you can give me a hand serving dinner now that you can breathe?"

"Yeah, no problem".

Standing up, Mulder walked over to the sink and turned the faucet on so he could wash his hands. Afte drying his hands on a dish towel he turned towards the breakfast bar and picked up the basket of bread and the bottle of red wine that were sitting there. Placing them on the table he walked back over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of beer out of the fridge before opening one of the cabinets to retrieve a wine glass. Returning to the table he opened both the wine and beer, and poured a glass of wine for Scully. As he did this, Scully carried the bowls of stew over to the table.

Sitting down they picked up their cutlery, and began eating; the sounds of laughter, talking and the occasional sniffle filling the apartment as they relaxed.

[krazykat]

Lying in bed Scully sighed as Mittens continued crying in the spare room. Glancing at the clock, she groaned as she noted that it was 2am. Giving up on the idea of sleep, she turned on the lamp by her bed, picked up her cell phone and speed dialled Mulder. *Please don't be asleep* Scully thought to herself as his phone went unanswered.

"Unnnghhh" a sleepy voice groaned down the phone. "This had better be good".

"Mulder it's me. Sorry for waking you. I didn't really expect you to be asleep".

"Izzz ok. Wasssup?" he asked, his voice slurring as he tried desperately to keep his eyes open.

"I really need you to talk me out of shooting Skinner's cat" she replied, groaning as she heard the frantic sound of scratching join the mewling that had started nearly two hours ago.

"Cat? What cat?" Mulder asked; his brain refusing to cooperate due to the sleeping pill he'd decided to take since it was Friday evening and they didn't have to work in the morning.

"Mittens Mulder"

"Mittens? It's summer Scully. Why do I need Mittens? God this dream is weird".

Scully sighed; her eyes closing in exasperation as she realised her partner was completely out of it. "Nevermind Mulder. Go back to...." her voice trailled off as soft snores echoed down the line. Hanging up the phone she pulled the pillow over her head and cursed him for choosing this night of all nights for actually taking the sleeping pills he'd been prescribed for his insomnia. *Shit. He was drinking tonight. He should know better than to take the ambien after alcohol* she thought to herself before her brain reminded her that he'd only had the one bottle and hadn't actually finished it so would probably just be a bit groggy in the morning.

Sighing again, Scully got up and walked through to the living room. Sitting down on her couch she slipped on her reading glasses and began reading the forensic pathology journal that she'd left on the coffee table earlier.

MIIIAAAAAOOOOOWWWW

*Ignore it* she thought to herself as she began reading an article entitled 'could herbal soup be a potential cause of hepatoxicity at autopsy?'.

MIIIAAAAOOOOOOWWWWWW

*She'll give up and go to sleep eventually* Scully told herself as the scratches at the door resumed in earnest. *Won't she?* she thought to herself as she tried to recall if Mulder had ever told her anything about separation anxiety and pets.

*****************************************************

At 3am the cat was still yowling away, and Scully was beginning to worry about the state of her door.
Throwing the blanket that she had been using to cover her legs on to the floor, she walked over to the door of the spare room and opened it; or at least she tried to. The door had barely moved.

*What the hell?* Scully thought to herself as she pushed at the door harder; a sinking feeling arising in her stomach as she heard a dragging sound as the door opened really stiffly.

Looking down she felt her blood pressure rising at the ripped carpet fibres and bare floorboards where her carpet should have been. *Will just lie around sleeping and pretty well-behaved my ass* she muttered to herself as she remembered the words her boss had spoken as he asked her to look after his cat.

"MRRREEEOW" the cat happily trilled at her as she stepped into the room; its tail pointed straight up in the air as it padded over to wrap it's body round her ankles.

Scully sighed. Looking at the cat she asked it to "tell me why I shouldn't just kill you and turn you into an actual pair of Mittens? I could do it you know. A quick read of a textbook on veterinary anatomy and
you'd be easy to dissect".

"MRRREEEEOOOW" the cat trilled again, this time bunny hopping in the air as she nuzzled the scent glands in her head against Scully's bare legs.

Scully sighed again before sternly telling the cat "I can't play with you. If I do I'll get all sneezy and itchy. It's really not fair of you trying to act all cute... my eyes are already itching just from being in here with you".

MRRREEEOOOOW

*Shit. What the hell am I going to do? If I lock her back in here she'll destroy the whole room trying to get out. Yes, but if you let her out the whole apartment will be covered in fur.* As she thought about what to do, Scully absent mindedly extended her arm and stroked the cat's head. Lost in thought, and completely unaware of her actions, she then brought her hand up to her nose to rub away the itch that had started to build up in her sinuses whilst she had been breathing in the dander filled air.

Hiiiahhtscheeeew she sneezed, before looking at the cat and saying "OK. You can come out. But you are NOT allowed in my room. I need to have somewhere I can hide from youhiiiitscheeew."

Edited April 25, 2023 by krazykat

[krazykat]

Opening her eyes Scully found herself looking into the green eyes of the cat that was curled up on her chest. *What the hell?* she thought to herself. Lifting the cat off her, she placed it down on the bed; her breath already beginning to catch as her eyes watered and her nostrils flared.

Reaching over to her nightstand she quickly pulled out a couple of tissues, and brought them up to her nose just in time to muffle three itchy sounding sneezes. Hhiitschnxgh iiihtschhnkz hiiiitschhhngxh.

Blowing her nose, she raised her hands up to her eyes and rubbed them; immediately regretting it as the itching in her eyes and sinuses increased. *Oh shit that was stupid* she thought to herself as her breath hitched wildly and she launched into a fit of six sneezes. Hhiitschnxgh Hhiitschnxgh hehhhkschteeew huuhhhiiiitscheeew iiiitscheeeew heehhhh-TSCHOOOOO

Glaring at the cat, Scully got out of bed and headed towards her bathroom; the force of her sneezes causing her to stumble several times. Once in the bathroom Scully yanked upon her medicine cabinet,
pulled out the bottle of claritin, removed the cap and quickly swallowed one of the pills. Hhhheetcscheeew Hhhhngtschhhh she sneezed again as she turned on the faucet and began washing her hands. She needed eye drops, but there was no way she was touching her face again until she'd scrubbed her hands clean.

Turning the taps off she dried her hands before lifting the bottle of medicated eyedrops off the shelf and twisting off the cap. *How the hell did she get into my bedroom?* she thought to herself as she tilted her head back and put a drop in each eye. She genuinely had no idea how people like Mulder who suffered from allergies all year round could put up with this all of the time.

As she stood there, eyes closed to let the medication absorb, she could feel another sneeze building. Blindly reaching for the tissues that she kept on the shelf next to the sink she grabbed several just in time to catch another four sneezes. Opening her eyes, she lowered the tissues from her nose and put the bottle of eye drops down. Closing the cabinet door she looked at her image in the mirror. Her hair was seriously mussed, and she had allergic tears rolling down her cheeks. The whites of her eyes were red and bloodshot, and she could tell from the slight crinkling of her nose and the flaring of her nostrils that another sneeze was brewing.

MIIIIAAAAAAAOOOOOOWWW

Looking round, Scully saw the source of her misery sitting at the bathroom door. "Not now" she said; gently nudging the cat away from the door so that she could close it. Sitting down on the toilet lid she grabbed some more tissues and blew her nose; the vibrations triggering another small sneezing fit.

Edited April 25, 2023 by krazykat

[krazykat]

Clutching a tissue in her hand Scully loudly banged on the door to apartment 42, hoping that Mulder would hear her knocking over the loud music that blared from his stereo. As she waited for her partner to answer she blew her nose again; still trying to clear the congestion that had built up overnight as Mittens had slept on her bed.

Although the remaining congestion in her sinuses was bothersome, she was glad that the antihistamines she had taken that morning had stopped the intense itching and sneezing that had occurred after she'd stupidly touched her face with dander covered hands.

Putting the tissue in her pocket she knocked louder; hoping that this time he would hear her over the music. She had a key to his apartment, but she was loathe to use it in case she startled him; remembering full well the feeling of her six foot tall partner pinning her to the wall in a chokehold before registering who she was. .

She didn't even blame him for his reaction as only a few weeks prior to that incident he'd been working undercover with terrorists who had tortured him and threatened to put a bullet in the back of his head when they suspected he was a mole. Sneaking up on him, even unintentionally, had just been plain stupid, and she had no intention to repeat the experience. Well, that wasn't completely true. There was a huge part of her that hoped that there would come a day when Mulder would force her up against a wall.

Suddenly her mind was assaulted with the memory of his long, lean athletic body pressed up against her; his unique scent enveloping her senses as his warm breath tickled against her throat. It had been dangerous. He was dangerous in that moment, but although part of her had been afraid, another part of her had loved it.

God she was so attracted to him; she had been from the moment he'd first turned around to greet her and she'd caught sight of those damned glasses that somehow only served to increase his attractiveness. And her attraction to him had only grown over the years.

Taking a deep breath she tried to dispel the libidious thoughts that ran through her brain. She raised her hand to knock again; only for the door to swing open, revealing her glasses wearing partner holding a black trash bag. They both jumped.

"Shit! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" Mulder asked; one hand clutching at his chest as he focused on slowing his pulse rate and bringing his breathing back under control.

"Well maybe you would have heard me knock if you didn't have the volume up so high?" she retorted; her own pulse racing at both the shock she'd received and the way the vest he was wearing showed off his broad swimmer's shoulders and each of the well defined muscles in his arm. *Down girl* she inwardly commanded before asking: "why is the music so loud any way?"

"I'm cleaning and it's boring. The music makes it moderately tolerable". Waving the trash bag at her he went on to say "I'm just going to run this downstairs. There's a fresh pot of coffee and some bagels in the kitchen. Just help yourself".

Walking into his apartment Scully closed the door behind her, noticing the vacuum cleaner stood in the middle of the room. Smiling at this previously unseen domestic side of her partner she walked into his kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee; noting the dishes draining on the rack, and the mop and bucket that stood next to the sink waiting to be emptied. *He's been busy*.

Opening the fridge to retrieve the creamer that he usually kept stocked just for her she couldn't help but notice the lack of science experiments. The orange juice was even in date, and even more surprising, there was even fruit in there. *Definitely been busy*.

After adding the creamer to her coffee she wandered back into the living room, and sat down on his couch. A couple of minutes later the door opened and Mulder walked in and headed to the kitchen to pour another mug of coffee before joining her on the couch.

"You seem rested. The ambien obviously worked wonders".

Looking confused Mulder asked "how do you know I took a pill last night?"

"I called you around 2am. I was about ready to murder Skinner's cat and was hoping you'd talk me out of it, but all I got was a sleep addled, drugged Mulder who couldn't understand why I wanted him to wear Mittens".

"Ah. Sorry about that. My insomnia has been particularly bad lately, and although I'm used to the lack of sleep, even I can only cope for so long on 4-5 hours a night. I figured since it was the weekend, and Skinner wasn't around to call us in at silly o'clock in the morning, that nobody would miss me if I knocked myself out. I was planning on doing it again tonight if I'm honest".

Placing her hand on his knee and squeezing it gently, Scully said "you should. You need the rest".

Nodding, Mulder took a sip of his coffee.
"So, why were you planning on committing felicide?"

"That is not a cat it is a demon" Scully exclaimed; laughing slightly as Mulder half choked on his coffee at the unexpected words.

"Did you really just say DEMON my skeptical little partner?"

"I'm not kidding. It meowed constantly for 4 hours straight. It dug the carpet in my spare room up so
efficiently that I'm going to have to replace it. By 3am I was so fed up of the crying I ended up letting the beast out of the spare room just to get her to shut up".

Mulder chuckled. "It sounds like she was lonely. Most people think that cats are really independent creatures but studies have shown that they form really close attachment relationships with their owners. It was probably just separation anxiety".

"Thank you Dr Mulder. Knowing that doesn't exactly
fix my carpets though does it? Nor does it change the fact that the demonic kitty somehow managed to get into my bedroom last night and spent the rest of the night sleeping on top of me. I woke up all itchy and sneezy, and I swear that everything I own is now covered in cat hair".

"Is that why my eyes are itching?"

"Can we focus on MY misery here for a moment please?!"

Mulder chuckled. "Sorry. So what are you doing here? Hiding from the cat?"

"That and telling you that I hate you!"

"No you don't.

"No, I don't. But I am carefully considering what my revenge will look like Mr 'yes the cat can stay at Scully's apartment'".

"I'm pretty sure the conversation went more like 'I'm a medical doctor and I forbid you from having the cat stay at your apartment'".

"Well I shouldn't have insisted on that. I'm an idiot".

Mulder laughed. "You are anything but an idiot Scully. You're welcome to hang out here if you want. Just be warned that the main source of entertainment will be watching me sneeze repeatedly from all the dust I'll no doubt kick up while cleaning this place. But first, I have a fish tank to clean. Want to help?"

Edited April 26, 2023 by krazykat

[krazykat]

*Trigger Warning - death*. The end of this chapter got a little bit darker than I intended. 

 

 

2 hours later the fish tank and his bathroom had both been cleaned, and Mulder was ready to start the task he hated the most: vacuuming and dusting.
Walking into the kitchen he reached under the sink and retrieved a couple of microfiber cloths that would at least trap the dust rather than kicking it up.

Heading back into the living room he dropped the cloths onto his desk, before turning towards Scully. who sat curled up on his couch with a novel. "Do you mind moving both you and the mugs to the dining table so that I can clean in here?"

"Sure".

As Scully lifted the mugs and carried them towards the kitchen she heard Mulder lift the coffee table; placing it on its side on his couch. Walking back into the room she found him on the floor rolling up the navajo rug that lay there; turning his head quickly to the side to sneeze three times in response to the dust that had settled there since the last time he'd cleaned.

Jumping back up to his feet he leant down to pick up the rug; sniffing as he did so. "You OK?" Scully asked as he balanced the rug on the edge of the small dining table that sat in the alcove by the door.
"Yeah. It's just a bit dustier than usual in here due to us being out of town so much recently. As he spoke he walked back into his living room and lifted the navajo blanket off the back of his couch; stacking it on top of the rug so he could carry them both. "I'll be back in five Scully, I'm just going to run downstairs and stick both of these in the washer".

"You machine wash your rug?"

"Yeah. If I don't wash the rug and curtains at least once a month my sinuses can't cope. There's a reason there are no carpets in here".

"How on earth do you cope at motels?"

"I normally just up the antihistamines and avoid turning the air conditioning on until I've had a chance to clean it". Noting Scully's questioning look he continued: "most places are clean enough, but they always seem to forget about the dusy that accumulates in the vents on the air conditioning units. I learned that the hard way one day when I was partnered with Jerry and we had to share a room due to some convention that was in town".

"What happened?"

"We were in Dallas in October and it was hotter than hell due to some El Niño type thing, and the minute we walked into the room he flicked the air conditioning on and it just started spewing out dust. And when I say spewing out dust I mean you could actually see the dust plume in the air. Honestly, the sneezing fit that ensued from breathing in what seemed like months worth of dust was spectacular. I couldn't even stop sneezing long enough to tell him what was wrong; I just staggered out of the room and sat on the floor in the hall trying to desperately suck in enough air to get me through the next round of rapid sneezes".

"Shit"

"Yeah. Luckily for me he figured it out and arranged for housekeeping to come in, clean the place and change all of the bedding. And while that was happening we went for a few drinks. Well, he drank. I mainly coughed and sneezed and blew my nose while waiting for the damned antihistamines to kick in. I know he came off as a real asshole when you met him, but he was actually an alright guy".

"Even if he hadn't been, he didn't deserve what happened" Scully said sympathetically. She knew he'd taken Jerry's death hard. And then less than six months later Reggie had been murdered. At least Mulder himself had survived the near fatal GSW to his upper thigh that happened between the deaths of his former partners. She shuddered as her mind flashed back to that awful night on a dock in Raleigh; glad that Mulder hadn't noticed as his own mind flashed back to the events at Eurisko.

"No. He really didn't". Mulder shook his head slightly and sighed, before walking towards the front door.

"Mulder?" she said quietly; hating the air of melancholy that had descended in the room.

He smiled at her softly, his eyes expressing his gratitude at the overt concern in her eyes. "I'm OK Scull. I really am. I just wish I didn't know so many of those damned stars on the remberance wall at the Hoover".

 

[Xsneezelover3932]

OMG, this is amazing!!!! I am always looking for great X-Files fics!!! Absolutely loving this!!!!

[krazykat]

On 5/9/2023 at 6:22 PM, Xsneezelover3932 said:

OMG, this is amazing!!!! I am always looking for great X-Files fics!!! Absolutely loving this!!!!

I'll get back to it soon, I promise!

[krazykat]

Mulder walked back into his apartment to find Scully stood on his desk; her lithe body stretching upwards as she unhooked the curtains from the curtain rail. He swallowed. He'd always been a weak man when it came to his partner's ass and hips, and his eyes couldn't help track the subtle movement they made as she stood on tip toes.

Scully smiled. She could feel his hungry gaze from across the room. Deciding to mess with him slightly she deliberately leaned forwards and displayed her ass; chuckling silently as she heard his breath catch. She enjoyed teasing him like this. They had been growing slowly closer since her remission from cancer; and although she was ready to extend their partnership beyond the office, she also knew that she wanted Mulder to make the first move.

Clearing his throat, he noticed that she had turned to look at him as he had openly ogled her. He could feel the blush creeping across his cheeks. Ignoring it he asked "whatcha doing Scully?"

"Taking the curtains down so you can wash them" she replied, turning to hand him the first one that she had freed from the rail.

"Ah OK. I wasn't really planning on doing that today, but I guess an extra wash won't hurt them" he replied before sneezing into his elbow. *Fucking dust* he thought as he spotted disturbed dust particles dancing in the beam of sunlight falling through the window.

"An extra wash?" Scully asked, puzzled.

"Yeah, they got washed 2 weeks ago. Don't worry about it. They're part way down now, may as well take the other one down and i'll wash them". Leaning forward Mulder took the curtain from her, and folded it; his breath hitching slightly as another sneeze threatened to escape.

As Scully worked to unclip the second curtain Mulder place the folded up curtain on a chair, and harshly rubbed his nose with a balled up fist. His nose was itching like crazy, and he was almost certain that he would be sneezing up a storm by the time they'd finished cleaning.

"Hey Mulder, can you grab this?"  Scully asked; holding out the aztec print curtain towards him. Taking it from her he repeated the process of folding it up and placing it down, before extending a hand to help her jump down from the desk; his eyes naturally drawn to the way her cleavage bounced gently as she landed on the floor and straightend. Smiling at her he started to speak, but stopped as the sneezes and his words crashed into each other as his sinuses tried to expel the dust.

Thahhnngxktsch huhngxtch hhhngxtchhh

[Should I bless]

I may not know anything about X files, but this is really good stuff!

Edited May 11, 2023 by Should I bless

[krazykat]

Thanks for all the nice comments 😊

 

 

HUUURTSCHOOOOO HEHHETSCHEEW EHHHHTSCHEW Mulder sneezed violently as he turned the vacuum cleaner off.

"You OK?" Scully asked him, her eyebrows raising in shock at the ferocity of his sneezes.

"Yeah, I just fucking hate duhhh uhhhh HUUURTSCHEEEEW EHHHTSCHEW HEHHHETSCHOOOO dust" Mulder replied as he pulled a handkerchief out of his jeans pocket and blew his nose. "Look  I'm going to put the vacuum cleaner away and grab a shower; hopefully getting the dust off me will calm this sneeEHHTSCHEEW sneezing down a bit".

"And then what?"  she asked, watching as he unplugged the vacuum cleaner and coiled the cable back into place before lifting up the machine and putting it back inside the cupboard in his hall.

Turning to face her he shrugged. "I had been considering going for a long run, but it's boiling out  there so I'll probably save that for this evening when it's a bit cooler. Other than that I've not got any plans. Maybe do some laundry, read a book, watch whatever sport happens to be on TV. Generally be a bit boring and do nothing that requires much thought or effort".  Cocking his head to the side he chuckled gently. "Why? Are you wanting to stay here and continue avoiding your house guest?".

"Am I that transparent?" she asked, sighing.

"To me? Yeah. Grab a seat, while I take that shower. Once I'm out I'll make us some sandwiches, and then we can figure out what to do with the fuzzball. I dread to think what she'll do to your apartment if you leave her alone for too long" he replied, laughing out loud as Scully's eyes widened with horror.

"Oh God, don't say things like that Mulder".

Continuing to laugh he turned and walked into his bedroom; closing the door behind him. Taking his clothes off and throwing them next to the laundry hamper, he smiled, eyes twinkling with mirth as he heard his normally calm partner muttering about turning the cat into a pair of Mittens if she'd destroyed any more of the soft furnishings in her home. 

Hhhhuuurrthschooooo he sneezed, his irritated sinuses reminding him that he needed to blow his nose and shower if he stood any chance of getting his allergies back under control before the inevitable trip to see what damage one lonely cat could do to an apartment.