kiku Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 A haiku is a traditional Japanese poem, very short, consisting of only three lines. The first line consists of five phonetic syllables, the second line of seven, and the last line - again - of five. They don't rhyme. The typical thing about haiku is that it contains a hint to the current season, or nature in general, describing a moment in time, its uniqueness, in the end giving a little... kick? Sorry, I can't describe it well, but I'm quoting an example here to give you an idea: It's an English translation of a haiku by the Japanese poet Moritake (1473-1549) (Too bad I couldn't find the name of the translator.) What I thought to be Flowers soaring to their boughs Were white butterflies ................................................................................ So, today, I'd like to share a few sneezy haiku with you I wrote some time ago. ๐ Here we go: Beautiful spring day White and yellow clouds drifting Strong tickle explodes ......................................... Her delicate nose Quivering like rose petals Will the tickle win? ......................................... On a rainy night Listening to the drizzle Mixed with your sneezes .............................................. I'd be thrilled to read more sneezy haiku! Please join me! ๐ธ I think it's fun trying to stick to the 5-7-5 phonetic syllable rule, but I don't think it's really important. It's the mood and atmosphere that counts, I think. ๐ Link to comment
kiku Posted June 13, 2023 Author Share Posted June 13, 2023 @Jess Starseed1111 Thank you! Actually it's three poems. ๐ Glad you like them! โค๏ธ If you feel like it, go ahead and try one, just for fun, it doesn't have to be perfect - perfection is boring anyway, LOL. Link to comment
Femilloween77 Posted June 13, 2023 Share Posted June 13, 2023 Oh my yessss, I adore poetry! 5 hours ago, kiku said: Her delicate nose Quivering like rose petals Will the tickle win In love with thus one, you're ever so talented Kiku.ย I'll give it a try! The taste of her lips Her perfume fills in the air And tickles his nose. _____ The sound of the rain,ย Strumming against the windows. Cold season has come. _____ A beautiful rose As red as the setting sun. As red as her nose. ย Link to comment
kiku Posted June 14, 2023 Author Share Posted June 14, 2023 @Femiline77 and @Jess Starseed1111 Oooohhh, wow!! ๐ ๐ ๐ย Wonderful! I love them! They are all beautiful and atmospheric... When I read them it makes me feel as if I'm right in the middle of the situation. Thank you for your kind words, @Femiline77 โค๏ธ Link to comment
kiku Posted June 14, 2023 Author Share Posted June 14, 2023 @Jess Starseed1111 Thank you, and I can only say the same things for you too! โค๏ธ๐๐ I'm so happy to have met you - even though "only" online. ๐ธ And please, never feel embarrassed or shy to post more poems (or anything)! I'm no expert on poetry, but I think there is no right or wrong about creative writing - it's only the feeling behind it that counts. So, if you "let the words flow into the page", that's exactly as it should be! ๐ Link to comment
kiku Posted June 14, 2023 Author Share Posted June 14, 2023 @Jess Starseed1111 You're right, it's so great to meet really cool and amazing people from all over the world here. ๐ I'm looking forward to your new poems, whenever you feel up to posting them! โค๏ธ Link to comment
kiku Posted June 20, 2023 Author Share Posted June 20, 2023 @Jess Starseed1111 Yay, some new haiku poems! ๐ Very lovely! I can see it all happen in my mind's eye... Link to comment
kiku Posted June 20, 2023 Author Share Posted June 20, 2023 1 minute ago, Jess Starseed1111 said: Hehe thank you, I tried it again to see what I could come up with hehe ย ๐ฅฐ๐คญ๐ soo fun to do ๐๐โญ๏ธ thank you for creating this post I love Poems ๐ฟ๐ชท heheย Looking forward to reading more from you whenever you feel like it! โค๏ธ My bed is calling now... I'm getting sleepy, and I've got an early start (again) tomorrow. Good night! ๐ Link to comment
ShamanBodyan Posted June 21, 2023 Share Posted June 21, 2023 wow. I found this by accident and your haiku inspired me to try it too. I'll also include the original non-English version, because I think the English version sounds worse because of the language difference. So: ะั ะฝัั, ัะพะถะตะฒะธะน, ัะบ ัะฐะบััะธ ัะฒัั ะะพัะบะพัะต ะน ัะตัะต ะะฐัััะดะฐ ะฟัะธะนัะปะฐ Her nose is as pink as a cherry blossom It tickles and flows The cold has come ********************* ะะธะผะฐ ัะดะต, ะทะฐัััะดั ะฝะตัะต ะัะต ัั ะฐั ะดัะฒัะธะฝะฐ ะจัะบะฐั ั ัััะธะฝะบั Winter is coming, it brings a cold She sneezes all the time Looking for a handkerchief ********************** ะะพัะพะปะฐัั ะฒะพะฝะฐ ะะฐัััะดั ะฟัะพะณัะฐะปะฐ ะะพััั ะฝะพัะพะฒะธัะบะธ She fought She lost a cold Preparing her handkerchiefs I hope you liked it Link to comment
kiku Posted June 21, 2023 Author Share Posted June 21, 2023 @ShamanBodyan and @Jess Starseed1111 , kudos to you both! ๐ ๐ I like the sniffly cold scenario as well as the seductive, teasing sneezing in the couple scenario. ๐คฉ Great stuff! Here is my next one: _____________________ What sound did I hear? The tickliest explosion... My beloved sneezed ย Link to comment
kiku Posted June 21, 2023 Author Share Posted June 21, 2023 @Jess Starseed1111 Thank you, dear! โค๏ธ Actually, it's "tickliest explosion", because I wanted to stick to the 7-phonetic-syllable-rule, but that's just hyper-perfectionist me, LOL ๐ Link to comment
kiku Posted June 21, 2023 Author Share Posted June 21, 2023 @Jess Starseed1111 No problem, LOL! ๐ท Link to comment
Chanel_no5 Posted June 24, 2023 Share Posted June 24, 2023 I REALLY suck at haikus, but let's fuck up language for a bit, shall we? ๐๐ Catkins in the breeze Releasing tickly powder Hayfever erupts ย This one is very clearly inspired by, um, a celebrity crush I have, okay, and I don't really follow the rules either, but, like... close enough? ๐ณ๐ I would like to stress that I'm currently quite drunk and making these up while getting ready for bed, so quality can't really be expected, k?. ๐ ย Cold season abound Script requires her to workย Enter Typhoid Maryย ย Link to comment
LastCarpet Posted June 24, 2023 Share Posted June 24, 2023 I spritz my perfume My nose twitches and tickles It's too strong for me xxxx My nose is burning As black dust floats though the air Who loosened the cap? ย Link to comment
kiku Posted June 24, 2023 Author Share Posted June 24, 2023 @Jess Starseed1111 Awwww, I love your scenarios... and you made me feel like having honey for breakfast! ๐ฏ ๐ @Chanel_no5ย Wow, those are really great! You manage to conjure up such a special atmosphere in your writing - in your stories as well as in your poems. ๐ ย @LastCarpet Wonderful!! ๐ It's so lovely to imagine... Keep up the great work, everyone. ๐ ย Link to comment
SunFlower_10 Posted July 3, 2023 Share Posted July 3, 2023 These are all so good! I used to love to write haikus, here's my go at one: ย Enjoying the day Flowers floating in the sun But her nose explodes Link to comment
kiku Posted July 3, 2023 Author Share Posted July 3, 2023 @SunFlower_10 Whoah, that's great! ๐๐ธ Thank you for contributing and helping keep this topic alive. โค๏ธ I'll be back with a haiku of my own later. โ Link to comment
Chanel_no5 Posted July 4, 2023 Share Posted July 4, 2023 I've got a few more.. I'm not drunk this time but I'm still not sure about the quality, but anyway. Two hayfever and one messy cold ones. ๐๐ ย Hazy summer fields Farmers making hay againย The tourist sneezes ย ย Pollen in the sunย Teases allergic noses You suffer all spring ย ย Wet Autumn showersย A contagious cold is loose Such a snotty sneeze! ย Link to comment
kiku Posted July 4, 2023 Author Share Posted July 4, 2023 @Chanel_no5 Kudos!! They are terrific! ๐ ๐ธ I like them all, but especially the first one feels so perfect (although I am no expert ๐ซฃ) with the nice, peaceful description of the summer nature scene in the first two lines, and then BANG! ... The tourist sneezes. Spot on! ๐ So, here is my haiku for today: When did it happen? Your pretty allergic nose First scrunched up... ATCHOO! Link to comment
LastCarpet Posted July 4, 2023 Share Posted July 4, 2023 The hell was that noise? It sounded like a cannon! Why are you blushing? xxx My nose is itchy And my hands are slimy Lousy cheap tissues ย Link to comment
kiku Posted July 4, 2023 Author Share Posted July 4, 2023 Awwww, @LastCarpet, I like your haiku poems a lot. ๐ I love the "dialogue" situation in the first one - even though only one person was speaking. ๐ And we all know those cheap tissues that don't withstand a strong sneeze or blow, LOL ๐คง Keep writing! ๐ Link to comment
Femilloween77 Posted July 4, 2023 Share Posted July 4, 2023 This is such a creative thread, in love with everyone's contributions. Link to comment
LastCarpet Posted July 5, 2023 Share Posted July 5, 2023 Plucking my nose hairs My nostrils tingle, and then Tweezers go flying,ย xxxx Kittens make me sneeze Note to self, don't forget my Next allergy shots xxx Too much red pepper On my chili fries, and so Coke spurts out my noseย ย Link to comment
kiku Posted July 5, 2023 Author Share Posted July 5, 2023 @LastCarpet Ooohh, some more! Cool! Nice and explosive. ๐ @Femiline77 Thanks for your kind words! โค๏ธ Link to comment
ShamanBodyan Posted July 7, 2023 Share Posted July 7, 2023 Spring... Everything blooming This polen is killing She can't stop sneezingย ย Link to comment
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