Struggling. (Mental health can't really explain perfectly)

[Darkjolteon]

So I am have a day. I suffer from a mental health condition and even have a service pup that makes things easier. Today is a day of suppressing that condition and it makes things so much harder when I know I have to still do things. The issue is it can cause some sever distress when suppressing it. Anyway, seriously hoping I can relax soon. But nothing I try is working and it's cause of a few triggers already suppressed. I had to get this off my chest and had no clue were to talk about it here. 

Has anyone else ever had something similar happen to them? I'm not asking for the condition, cause I won't tell you mine unless I trust you. But have you ever suppressed a strong emotion or a condition so badly that it messed with you all day? This is not the first time for me but it is unusually difficult to handle today. 😕 

[kiku]

@Darkjolteon Sorry to hear you are having a difficult day dealing with that condition. Yes, I have had something similar happen - I didn't have an official condition, but it definitely went into a similar direction as the one you're describing, it messed with me all day, and during the night too so I couldn't sleep. That was several years ago.
Although each case is different and individual, I want to send you some courage and positive energy 🍀🍀🍀 and - if I may - a hug. ❤️
Do you have anybody nearby you trust, who you can talk to?

[Yep]

3 hours ago, Darkjolteon said:

So I am have a day. I suffer from a mental health condition and even have a service pup that makes things easier. Today is a day of suppressing that condition and it makes things so much harder when I know I have to still do things. The issue is it can cause some sever distress when suppressing it. Anyway, seriously hoping I can relax soon. But nothing I try is working and it's cause of a few triggers already suppressed. I had to get this off my chest and had no clue were to talk about it here. 

Has anyone else ever had something similar happen to them? I'm not asking for the condition, cause I won't tell you mine unless I trust you. But have you ever suppressed a strong emotion or a condition so badly that it messed with you all day? This is not the first time for me but it is unusually difficult to handle today. 😕 

So sorry that you're going through this!  I have days like that all the time, and do suffer from certain mental health conditions myself.  I am going to second what, @kiku has already stated, do you have anyone nearby that you trust, a resource, a therapist?  For me personally, I have been in therapy for a few years, and it does help, along with some other outlets to relieve stress and just shutting my brain off, if even for a little while.

If you're comfortable, I would be happy to talk to you more about it, through here, PM, whatever helps you!  I have experienced mental issues for far too long and am here to help, if you want.

[Darkjolteon]

1 hour ago, Jeff said:

So sorry that you're going through this!  I have days like that all the time, and do suffer from certain mental health conditions myself.  I am going to second what, @kiku has already stated, do you have anyone nearby that you trust, a resource, a therapist?  For me personally, I have been in therapy for a few years, and it does help, along with some other outlets to relieve stress and just shutting my brain off, if even for a little while.

If you're comfortable, I would be happy to talk to you more about it, through here, PM, whatever helps you!  I have experienced mental issues for far too long and am here to help, if you want.

I can't PM right now. It's not open to me yet. But I do appreciate it. I also will not give out my info as it is against the rules if I remember correctly. I just needed to know I'm not alone. I am waiting for my trusted friend and I see my therapist tomorrow. If i talk to you anywhere else I wouldn't know currently.  Still suppressing it due to other things. Its just getting harder. 

[SleepingPhlox]

I am so sorry that you are having a tough time.  Struggling with mental health is not easy.  It sounds like you know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel with being able to see your therapist and friend soon, so use that as an anchor to get you through it.  And of course your precious support dog.  You got this.

And if you decide you'd like people to contact you, you can ask staff to add your email to your profile, so validated members who can view profiles can see it.

[Yep]

11 hours ago, Darkjolteon said:

I can't PM right now. It's not open to me yet. But I do appreciate it. I also will not give out my info as it is against the rules if I remember correctly. I just needed to know I'm not alone. I am waiting for my trusted friend and I see my therapist tomorrow. If i talk to you anywhere else I wouldn't know currently.  Still suppressing it due to other things. Its just getting harder. 

I completely understand the PM option not being open to you yet.  As @SleepingPhlox stated, maybe contact the moderators to see if you would be allowed to PM or add your e-mail in your profile.  

Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to letting us know that you're struggling, giving us an opportunity to reach out to you and letting you know that we are another tool for you to use, even if it's just to vent.

@Jess Starseed1111, thank you for sharing your experience with the white butterfly!  Isn't it amazing how something so small, can have such a large impact?

I hoping that your friend arrives soon and that your therapy session goes well!  I also wishing you brighter days and a brighter week ahead!

[Yep]

10 minutes ago, Jess Starseed1111 said:

Awww it warms my heart to see you all here in the comments with your kind, warm and loving messages 🌟🌞🌅 @Jeff @kiku @SleepingPhlox for the lovely @Darkjolteon🌅🌞🌟🌟🌞🌅💛💛💛 therapy is soo healing and can really support someone so much 💛🌅🌟 and also with supportive friendships too which can be just as healing 💛🌟 

@Jeff so true, it was such a precious moment with the white butterfly, nature can be soo healing. When I feel so sad, I turn to nature. Walks are my go to thing. When you need comfort the most unexpected blessings come, unexpected kindness has come, and moments like seeing the beautiful butterfly come. I wish I could put the video on here but it wouldn’t work. I used to be able to add a photo from my phone but I think that setting is gone on the attachment files 💛🌟🌞

Walks are awesome, I love those too!  Wishing you could e-mail me that butterfly file, I am intrigued to see it now.  Any little bit of nature like that is very soothing.  I really like sunrises and sunsets, personally....especially on a beach.  Therapy is very healing, it has helped me to unpack a lot of stuff....especially the things that I am otherwise too shy or embarrassed to talk about with others.  Not sure why I am like that, just something that is, I guess.

Hope you're having an awesome day!

[Yep]

On 6/21/2023 at 6:46 PM, Darkjolteon said:

I can't PM right now. It's not open to me yet. But I do appreciate it. I also will not give out my info as it is against the rules if I remember correctly. I just needed to know I'm not alone. I am waiting for my trusted friend and I see my therapist tomorrow. If i talk to you anywhere else I wouldn't know currently.  Still suppressing it due to other things. Its just getting harder. 

@Darkjolteon, Happy Saturday!  I just wanted to check-in with you and see if you were doing okay!  I am hoping that your friend showed up and that your therapy appointment went okay!  We're still here for you as a resource to vent, if you ever feel comfortable to....

[Yep]

On 6/22/2023 at 6:58 AM, Jess Starseed1111 said:

Aww yess walks are amazing 🥰 me too would love to email the white butterfly video it is soo lovely to watch, I even added music to it the video too hehe 🦋🌿🤍 hopefully one day soon I will be validated and then can show you. Otherwise I will have to make a YouTube account for nature videos and send it that way on here, which I might just do very soon. I love sunrises and sunsets too they are my favourite to watch 🌅 they make me feel so warm inside 🌟 aww the beach 🏝️ I haven’t seen the sea for a year now 🌊 going to visit it soon, it is not that near to me 🥹

Aww it is soo ok to feel more comfortable with speaking to a therapist and not others. Somethings are very dear to our hearts and quite personal and even if you are close with others, a therapist is in a different safe space where they able to support you with the right tools and experience and they usually know just what to say to make you feel seen and heard. In a different way to friends and family 🙂🌟🌅 

Aww thanks I am 🌟🌅 it is sunny here and hot in U.K. - I hope you are having an amazing day too 🦋🌟🌟🌟

 

 

 

When you make a YouTube account, please let us know what the channel name is, I would love to see it.  Would you ever consider making a YouTube channel to post recordings of your sneezing and nose blowing?  Do you usually blow your nose soft and quiet or hard and loud?  

I haven't been to the beach in quite a while myself.  I also haven't really star-gazed in a while either.  Some of the best stars to see are the ones from the middle of the ocean (no light pollution).

You are so correct with a therapist being a safe space.  My therapist is one of the few people who I could talk to about my fetish, basically say whatever I want about it, and I have not been judged, not even once.  She has even repeated my words back to me and asked me what it is about it that I like.  It's kinda funny but, whenever I talk about my fetish to someone in front of them, my hands visibly shake.  It's strange that I feel as though I am comfortable about it, but still too shy to talk about it in front of others.  Maybe it's a mental block?

Glad to hear that you are having great days!

[Darkjolteon]

On 6/24/2023 at 6:04 AM, Jeff said:

@Darkjolteon, Happy Saturday!  I just wanted to check-in with you and see if you were doing okay!  I am hoping that your friend showed up and that your therapy appointment went okay!  We're still here for you as a resource to vent, if you ever feel comfortable to....

Thank you for asking. I have been on and off even after therapy. Apparently I threw off whatever rythem I had. I have been dragged down further dispite my best efforts to heal. I'm not trying to be down. 

Anyway struggle is real, but the recovery is harder then usually. @Jess Starseed1111 thank you for the uplifting stuff you say. I might not be in the current shift to fully except it yet, but it does help. I know this is quoted but still wanted to let you know it's greatly appreciated. 

I wish my issue had a community to talk about the real struggles of this... but currently there is no such thing. If there was I would be worried about it being high jacked by people faking it. Having been studying psychology now for 4 years I have seen many mental disorders being faked and its really truly sad. 

Today was hard but easier then last week. Or a few days ago with the first post. I'm everywhere today. Thank you all. 🫂 

[Darkjolteon]

On 6/22/2023 at 2:42 AM, SleepingPhlox said:

I am so sorry that you are having a tough time.  Struggling with mental health is not easy.  It sounds like you know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel with being able to see your therapist and friend soon, so use that as an anchor to get you through it.  And of course your precious support dog.  You got this.

And if you decide you'd like people to contact you, you can ask staff to add your email to your profile, so validated members who can view profiles can see it.

Thanks. I had no clue you could do that. How do I get a validated member to help me? That sounds nice. However I would also totally understand if it's still in violation of any rule, or valid reasoning. 

My dog always helps a bit, sometimes more then a bit. I am not ready to suppress this for to long. Hopefully one day I will have full control over it. It's kinda shitty when you're with family and something triggers the psychy. Sigh. 

Thank you. 

[Darkjolteon]

On 6/21/2023 at 2:29 PM, kiku said:

@Darkjolteon Sorry to hear you are having a difficult day dealing with that condition. Yes, I have had something similar happen - I didn't have an official condition, but it definitely went into a similar direction as the one you're describing, it messed with me all day, and during the night too so I couldn't sleep. That was several years ago.
Although each case is different and individual, I want to send you some courage and positive energy 🍀🍀🍀 and - if I may - a hug. ❤️
Do you have anybody nearby you trust, who you can talk to?

@kikuI had a few people. I just had to wait. Today i have someone too. Dinner and sleep. She is helping me get to sleep and leaving once a klonk out. Greatly appreciate her for the recent help. 

[Yep]

1 hour ago, Darkjolteon said:

Thank you for asking. I have been on and off even after therapy. Apparently I threw off whatever rythem I had. I have been dragged down further dispite my best efforts to heal. I'm not trying to be down. 

Anyway struggle is real, but the recovery is harder then usually. @Jess Starseed1111 thank you for the uplifting stuff you say. I might not be in the current shift to fully except it yet, but it does help. I know this is quoted but still wanted to let you know it's greatly appreciated. 

I wish my issue had a community to talk about the real struggles of this... but currently there is no such thing. If there was I would be worried about it being high jacked by people faking it. Having been studying psychology now for 4 years I have seen many mental disorders being faked and its really truly sad. 

Today was hard but easier then last week. Or a few days ago with the first post. I'm everywhere today. Thank you all. 🫂 

I am so sorry that you have been on and off, even after therapy!  I have had very similar issues with the ups and downs, even after therapy!  I can also understand being dragged down further, despite your best efforts.  I wouldn't worry about feeling down, hopefully you're not feeling as though you will be judged.  I can tell you from being on this forum for over 17 years, that is something that DOES NOT happen.  If you go through and read through some of the other forums, look at some of the stuff that people say.  If stuff like that was said ANYWHERE else, there would be judgement (more than likely).  I have personally learned that it's not right to judge, we all have our own "things", "skeletons"......and whatever other name you want to use to label what you're going through.  I know I have my names, but they're not appropriate for this forum.

Something I was meaning to ask you, regarding what you're going through.  Have you ever served in the military?  If so, do you think that what you're going through has been compounded by that?  If you have served in the military, I do know of some resources to assist you.  I am a U.S. Navy Veteran who retired a couple of years ago and ALWAYS happy to help (regardless if you're a military veteran or not).

@Jess Starseed1111, please keep the positivity coming!  We need more of that in this world!

With regards to getting you access to see other forum members' contact info, I have included a "Admin" from another post that I saw.  @Mr_G, can you please assist with giving @Darkjolteon validated access so he can add his contact info and view other forum members' contact info?

I hope I am not coming across as I am trying to be a counselor or a therapist, because I am as far from either one of those as possible.  I have hard my own share of past (and present) pain, and I just want to do the best that I can to re-purpose and utilize the lessons learned from the pain to help others in any way that I can.

Sorry for the long winded post....hope this helps!

[kiku]

2 hours ago, Darkjolteon said:

@kikuI had a few people. I just had to wait. Today i have someone too. Dinner and sleep. She is helping me get to sleep and leaving once a klonk out. Greatly appreciate her for the recent help. 

That's good to know. Take good care of yourself! ❤️

[solitaire-au]

@Darkjolteon

I’m sorry being with your family is making things harder for you. Sometimes, the people who are supposed to care for and support us the most, are the ones who hurt us the most instead.

Speaking from my own experience, my parents are extremely critical people, and they can’t even see the harm they did to me, let alone acknowledge it or change.

I’ve had to learn to control how much access they have to me, because I can only talk to them or see them when I have good psychological reserves because of how negative they are.

In their culture, they will always “outrank” me and they constantly talk over me. So when I’ve had to talk to them about something important, I’ve written it in a letter and surreptitiously left it just before I leave when visiting them. That way, they read what I had to say and couldn’t interrupt me.

You are allowed to ask you for what you want, or to ask for what you don’t want. Your needs matter. If they can’t or won’t accommodate you, consider reducing contact with them. If that’s not an option, consider using solitude more whether it’s going for a walk, having a long bath/shower or using headphones etc to get a mental break from them. 🫂 

[SleepingPhlox]

4 hours ago, Darkjolteon said:

Thanks. I had no clue you could do that. How do I get a validated member to help me? That sounds nice. However I would also totally understand if it's still in violation of any rule, or valid reasoning. 

My dog always helps a bit, sometimes more then a bit. I am not ready to suppress this for to long. Hopefully one day I will have full control over it. It's kinda shitty when you're with family and something triggers the psychy. Sigh. 

Thank you. 

If you look at the top of the page, there's a "Contact Us" button.  You can use this to contact the staff to ask us to add whatever contact details you wish to your profile (email, Discord, Kik, etc).  Then, if you want someone to be able to contact you, you can tell them to look at your profile (and, if they are fully validated, they can) If you have any more questions let me know!

[Darkjolteon]

@Jeff thank you for the help. I was instructed on how to get my info available. Although the issue is from trauma, both physical and emotional, and maybe mental. If they are separate? It's not military related. It has some elements but not completely related. Anyway thank you.