Practically a Turk at this Point (Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, Zack -m, Kunsel - m)

[SexualOddity]

If you don’t know the fandom I think the only information that you really need is that these guys are in SOLIDER, which is like a special forces division, and the Turks are like an intelligence agency for the same employer (ShinRa).

 

—

 

Things had changed at SOLDIER in the last few weeks.  Kunsel missed Lazard’s mails for one.  There was something about the old director’s messages that was compassionate, and thoughtful, and kinda calmly reassuring.  On top of that, Kunsel no longer knew who was sending all the pinged-through assignment briefs, and as a general rule he didn’t like not knowing things.  What he did know though, beyond any possibility of doubt, was that if Lazard had still been in post, they would not be getting away with this kind of crap.

 

They were taking out a Wutaian resistance base, which was not unusual.  The part that was unusual, and also ill-advised, was that some idiot had allowed Zack Fair to assemble his own team.  Of course that meant that he was having a Second Class barracks reunion, and that meant that he’d regressed to the over-excitable idiot he’d been when he actually occupied said barracks.

 

It wasn’t that it hadn’t been fun.  Zack had smuggled in so many snacks that his trousers resembled the cheeks of the giant rodents of the Midgarian plains.  Kunsel, Zack and Dale had eaten most of his loot in the chopper on their journey out, catching one another up on a million things they never usually got a chance to discuss.  It was nowhere close to resembling pre-mission protocol but, man, they’d had a lot of stuff to talk about.  It felt like the whole world had changed since Zack had left his bunk for a swanky new bed in First Class quarters.

 

It wasn’t a full reunion, Zack had only been allowed to take two people, and most of the guys were off base anyway, but Dale had been around.  He’d been in the dorm longer than anyone, being a few years senior to most of his bunk mates.  So far his response to the whole thing had been mostly laboured sighs and eye rolls.  He’d still eaten the snacks though, and Kunsel had even spotted his headshake and indulgent grin when he thought that no one was watching. They talked about doing the whole thing properly, in a bar, with all six of the guys who had shared their dorm, but honestly the odds of getting the lot of them in Midgar and off duty on the same evening were slim at best.

 

As they got closer to the building Zack squinted up at a broken window before hauling himself on to the sill.  He broke off the nastier-looking pieces of smashed glass and shimmied right inside.  A couple of minutes later there was the sound of scraping metal.  Kunsel assumed that was the release of bolts and latches.  Sure enough, the door swung open and Zack stood grinning, bowing, and gesturing dramatically into the room like some sort of demented butler.

 

“Empty,” Dale whispered as he entered, and Kunsel couldn’t tell if it was an assessment or a question.

 

“Or it’s an ambush,” Zack whispered back with a grin, and the stupid idiot held out two hands and waggled them like weighing scales.

 

Dale’s eyes narrowed “Good thing I know you, Fair.”

 

Kunsel knew exactly what he meant.  Zack was not the man you pictured when you imagined your commanding officer - especially not right now, while he was riding the dual highs of their shared mission and way too many sweets from the vending machine.

 

He had calmed a little with age, but when they first met, Zack would practically bounce with surplus energy.  It made him erratic and disorganised.  Still, when things got hairy, that restlessness somehow concentrated into sharp focus and lightening instincts.  Ultimately, Kunsel and Dale both knew he had their backs.  They just might have to actively remind themselves a few times.

 

They came across a little door in the base of a wall, probably big enough to crawl into, but only just.  It was a blocked off vent, maybe.  Zack crouched and ran his fingertips over it before giving it a couple of shoves.  It didn’t budge.  There was a little key hole so Kunsel assumed it had been locked up and left.

 

“I have to see inside.”  There was a giddy energy in Zack’s whisper and a glimmer in his eye that Kunsel had seen before.  It absolutely never spelled good news.

 

At Kunsel’s side, Dale was shaking his head, his face the very picture of tested patience.  “Ifrit’s flamin’ boots…” he muttered.

 

Zack took a step back looking at the hinge, head cocked and eyes narrowed.  Kunsel immediately recognised the internal assessment.

 

“Bit loud,” he whispered urgently, before Dale had an aneurism.

 

Zack nodded.  “I’ll come back after we’ve done a sweep.”

 

Up on the second floor, they still hadn’t found any signs of life, but Zack did dive under a cabinet for reasons that were best known only to him until he came up brandishing an old-school iron key in triumph.

 

“I’ll be right back,” he told them, grinning wide.

 

He didn’t come back.

 

When they’d checked out the rest of the place, Kunsel and Dale headed across to the once-sealed entrance.

 

“Guys?” Zack’s voice coming through from behind the opening sounded strange - tight and squeezed.  “There anyone else here?”

 

“No,” Dale said.

 

“You sure?”

 

“‘Bout 99%”

 

There wasn’t an answer, just a little pause and then a fit of desperate coughing.  It was violent and scraping and punctuated by these heaving gasps.  Kunsel shot Dale a look.

 

“Zack?”  He called, moving closer to the gap.  He squatted to peer through.  A short and tight tunnel seemed to lead into a bigger room, but whatever it had been meant for, it hadn’t been touched in a very long time.

 

The rest of the place was abandoned, but it looked like they’d cut and run suddenly, and recently.  The room Zack had discovered was completely different.  The air in the corridor was heavy and musty, and peering from his vantage point, Kunsel could make out shelves and cupboards that were covered in the thickest layer of dust he’d ever seen.  He shuffled back, scrubbing at his eyes.

 

“You okay in there buddy?”

 

Kunsel winced when the sound of coughing didn’t stop.  He was just coming to the unhappy conclusion that he’d have to climb inside when he heard Zack stand.  Kunsel squinted down the tunnel to see him trying to dust off his uniform.  He was still coughing, but with a little less intensity.

 

“I’m fine,” Zack called out with another cough, and then a harsh sniff.  He came into Kunsel’s view again when he bent to retrieve a bunch of stuff from the ground.  “In fact, after this, I think I’m ready for my Turk induction.” He coughed again, lighter this time, and there was a thump as he dropped his bounty at the end of the passageway and began to push it through, following behind on his stomach.  Kunsel hopped backwards as dust billowed through the little corridor.

 

“Check these out.”  Zack said with a grin, as he shoved what looked like a stack of files out of the passage.  Kunsel eyed Dale, still not certain he wanted to get too close, while Zack wriggled out of the opening, still coughing occasionally and scrunching up his face.

 

“C’mon…” Zack beckoned.  He lowered himself to the ground and spread out the files, dislodging more dust from amongst the papers.  He coughed into his arm and then rubbed his nose against his wrist, before opening the pages of one of the files.  Kunsel and Dale crouched at his side, Dale pausing for a couple of coughs of his own.

 

“Found these.”  Zack pushed the files closer to them.  “And these… And these.  And this.”  In a final flamboyant show of triumph he fished a memory stick from his pocket and dropped it onto the floor.

 

“Holy hell…” Dale breathed.  He held one of the files at arms-distance as he leafed through the pages. Kunsel had to echo the sentiment.  There was a whole host of stuff here - detailed logs of resistance cell activity, mission plans, contact details.  There was stuff on ShinRa too - records of army mobilisations, entrance points to military bases, even some photos of Heidegger entering and leaving ShinRa HQ - definitely not stuff that this group ought to have had.

 

“Ugh.” Zack stood with a groan, moving a few steps away from them.  “‘Course, I also found a shit ton of dust.”  He was bent over, hand in his hair, trying to shake the stuff out.

 

He scrubbed his fist in furious circles at the side of his nose.  When he straightened, his mouth dropped open, eyelashes briefly fluttering. He gave three hard blinks before he turned back to Kunsel and Dale.

 

Kunsel laughed.  “You ‘bout to sneeze?”

 

Zack tilted his head toward the ceiling, eyebrows lifting in evaluation as if he hadn’t just been trying to rub his nose off his face.  What a moron.

 

“Think I am,” he finally concluded, lips crinkling in a dissatisfied pout, but then he just sniffed, crouching back down over the files.  “Oh, did you see this one?”  Zack scrunched his nose tight.  “I think it might be r-hhh-reactor passcodes.”

 

Zack bent his head and went back to pummelling at his face with his knuckle.  The edges of his nostrils were twitchy now and reddening.  Honestly, Kunsel didn’t know why he didn’t just get it over with.  Zack had always been a drama queen though, so… whatever.

 

“Why would they seal all this away?” Kunsel asked.

 

“Hell if I know,” Zack shrugged.  “Maybe they were saving it for something b-hih-big.”  He rubbed his nose between finger and thumb.  “I guess we should caah- call it ihih-!”  He jammed his face against the back of his wrist and creased his nose, squeezing his eyes shut.  After a moment, he sat up, trying again.  “Call… this …ihhh-heh…” He dropped his head back in apparent surrender and gave a long groan, pressing his arm to his face.  “Just give me a second…” he told them, voice nasal and muffled by his arm.

 

Zack stood and took a few aimless steps away from them, blinking up at the ceiling.  He brushed his hands against his trousers.  It can’t have done much good because as much dust seemed to be coming off his trousers on to his hands as the other way around.  Finally his paces slowed, and he tipped back further, arm coming back to hover near his nose as his chest swelled.

 

“Hhhh… haa-ahhh…”

 

He hung there for a moment, hair falling onto his back as his chin tipped up.  Then his chest gave a final heave and he crashed down dramatically, face driving into the crook of his arm.

 

“HahhHHkK’TCHUH!”

 

He caught the movement with bent knees, free hand resting on his thigh, and his head tipped back again.

 

“AHhhtTCHiHSHhUhh!”

 

Dust shook from Zack’s body with the movement, and his head came back up a third time.  Then he just crouched there, nothing happening.  Kunsel almost went over to check whether he’d pulled something, but then he caught Zack’s reflection in a mirror across the room.  Zack’s mouth was open, eyes narrow and pinched, nose twitchy and summon-materia red.

 

Yeah… he probably just needed a minute.

 

Sure enough, Zack tipped back a little further, and up came his arm.

 

“AhhISHHhhUHh! AH’ISHHHhUh! HUH’KkUSShUhh!”  They came out in a stream, almost tumbling over one another until Zack slumped over, panting.  He rocked back on his heels and Kunsel could just about make out a breathy.  “Whoa.”

 

Then Zack sniffed and sprang from his crouch, dislodging still more dust from his clothing.

 

“Okay,” he clapped his hands together.  “I’m gonna call this in.  Whaddya say we get out of here?”

 

—

 

In the chopper on the way back, Zack shuffled endlessly.  That was pretty typical actually, except this time he was obsessively messing with his nose - rubbing at it, pressing it, wriggling it, scrubbing a hand underneath it…

 

“You okay there buddy?” Kunsel asked in the end.

 

“Yeah, I’m good,” Zack chirped, as if it were a weird question, but after a sniff and a moment of silence, he added, “Still feel like I gotta sneeze.”

 

Dale cast a critical eye over his uniform.  “Well you are covered in dust.”  He grunted.  “Think you might make me sneeze and I’m just sitting next to you.”

 

Zack winced, guilty.  “M’Sorry.”

 

“You should change once we’ve dropped this off.”  Dale told him, slipping easily into the role he’d always taken in the bunk room.  “Otherwise you’ll be like this all day.”

 

Dale’s seniority in the dorm apparently trumped colour of uniform on this, because Zack nodded earnestly, kneading at his nose with the back of his wrist.

 

“Probably should shower too,” Kunsel said, grimacing up at the grey still scattered through Zack’s hair.  “Honestly man, did you roll in the stuff?”

 

“No I didn’t,” Zack answered, his tone all playful offence at the suggestion.  “Not my fault it was fucking awful in there.”  Apparently done with fighting it, he crushed his nose briefly against the back of his hand before dropping his head back with an emphatic groan.  Zack’s face crumpled and his eyes strained in a picture of discomfort.

 

“HhrrRUSHHUH!”  It was violent and angry, and it sounded like Zack had dragged the air up from the depths of his lungs.  When his head snapped back up though, he face was still crumpled in unmet need. “HahhUSHHhUh!”  He sneezed again, not losing anything in terms of pace or energy.  “HuhhHSHHUH! HAH’SHUW!”  The last one was a helpless cry.  All resistance spent, irritation overwhelmed him.

 

Afterwards he slumped, looking every bit as exhausted as if he’d been beaten in an actual fight.  He pressed the heel of his hand to his nose, grimacing.

 

“The Turks better appreciate these damn files.”

Edited January 11 by SexualOddity

[solitaire-au]

That was adorable! 🥰 

Was this self-contained, or are we going to see Zack continue to sneeze his way through a debriefing or perhaps a return to the barracks or a checkup in med bay?

[SexualOddity]

Ooh okay intriguing... so the intention was that it would be self-contained. But tbh it was originally gonna end in the abandoned base and then I added that scene in the helicopter after because my brain wouldn't stop writing it. Then it felt like it was definitely finished but honestly I have imagined a little bit of the scene of him handing the files over to the Turks - so maybe that's something I could build on. The question is whether I have enough to be worthy of a second part.

Let me have a think. And let me know if there is anything particular you had in mind. I'll do my best. I just need to see if I can come up with something that will work.

[SexualOddity]

So a second instalment!  This was beta-read by @solitaire-au and honestly she is so amazing at it.  She deserves such an enormous amount of credit for this bit of writing.  Trust me, you’re getting a MUCH better story than you would have gotten without her insightful suggestions.  (To my immense good fortune), we’ve also worked together on other stuff so if you see an improvement in my writing from here then you know who to credit, basically.  (I may also be a bit slower - mostly because her suggestions also make me realise when I’m being lazy and give me a push to work a bit harder!)

 

Also the triangular bandage suggestion was Solitaire’s and I thought that was inspired.

 

—

 

After that, the sneezing didn’t quit.  It came in angry little bursts, forceful and irritated and a few minutes apart.  At first it had been kind of amusing.  Zack had always been good at handling their gentle ribbing - it had been part of his territory as the youngest in their dorm - and he could laugh at himself and the absurdity of the situation.  When it hadn’t stopped after half an hour though, their laughter had begun to peter out, and Zack had turned a little quiet.  Kunsel had started to keep an eye on him then, checking his condition between sneezing fits with surreptitious glances.

 

Once an hour had past, conversation in the chopper had evaporated, along with Kunsel’s attempts at subtlety.  He was outright staring at Zack, who was looking increasingly worse for wear.

 

There was something up with Dale as well, Kunsel had noticed.  He had no idea what that was all about, but for some reason he was stewing in frustration, his foot tapping out an angry beat.   Whatever it was, Kunsel was pretty sure they’d hear about it sooner or later.

 

They were about halfway through the second hour of their flight when Zack wrapped an arm around himself and sank his forehead into the palm of his hand.  Dale leant backwards then, and shot a look over Zack’s hunched shoulders that said that pretty soon one of them was going to have to say something.

 

“How you feeling buddy?”  Kunsel asked, taking the hint.

 

Zack turned his head to look at Kunsel without dropping his hand.  “Not the best, actually,” he said, sounding a little surprised at that.  “I’m starting to think sneezing this many times isn’t a great idea.”

 

“Imagine that,” Dale muttered, from Zack’s other side.

 

Zack gave a humourless laugh.  “If only I could stop.”  His voice, nasal and wavering, already sounded like he was gearing up for another.   

 

“AHhhISHHHEW! HAH’HISHHHEW!”

 

Maybe two.

 

“Ahhh-Hahhhh-”

 

Or several.

 

“HAH’ISHHHhEW!-ISHHH’EW!-HhISHHEW! HAH’TISHH!”  He tipped his head back with a groan, dragging his palms over his face.

 

Kunsel patted Zack’s knee in what he hoped was a comforting gesture, and Zack roused himself with a shake of his head, before digging into his pocket.

 

“Shit,” Zack said, and Kunsel looked down to see Zack holding the tissues that he’d had donated from Arjun, their pilot.  The pack was thin now.  Zack sucked his teeth as he slid out the final tissue.

 

“We got an ETA Arjun?” Dale asked immediately, watching as Zack crumpled the plastic wrapping from the tissue packet in his fist.

 

“13:15” came the reply.

 

Zack made a despairing noise from the back of this throat, lifting a fist to scrub back and forth at the side of his nose.

 

“Okay,” Dale said under his breath, his body twisting as he scanned the cabin.  Apparently having an idea, he bent over, reaching underneath his seat.  There was a click as he opened up the little cargo hold.  When he sat back up he was holding a first aid kit, unclipped from the back of the hold door.  He was also blinking rapidly - the effect, Kunsel assumed, of the dusty stack of files that they also had stashed in there.  Dale lifted the back of his hand to his nose with a sniff and began to dig through the box while Kunsel watched him with interest.

 

“Arjun,” Dale called through to the cockpit, “I owe you a triangular bandage for your kit back here.    Don’t let me forget.”

 

“Uh… okay,” Arjun said, confusion clear in his tone.  “Is everyone… alright?”

 

“‘Cept my big dumb friend here,” Dale said, earning a growl from Zack, who was slumped with his elbows on his knees, the heel of his hand propping up his forehead.  “Used up all those tissues you gave to him so now I am…” he pulled open the wrapping of the bandage, “improvising.”

 

Arjun’s laugh carried through to the cabin.  “Okay, buddy.  You do what you gotta do.  How you holding up Zack?”

 

Zack responded with a dramatic groan, but he looked up afterwards with a bleary-eyed grin, so Kunsel suspected it was his way of keeping things light.

 

“You’re that good huh?” Arjun answered with a laugh.  “Well, hang tight. Only another thirty minutes til touchdown.”

 

Zack blew his nose on the remaining tissue, and then looked down at the bandage Dale had spread across his lap.  He had a pair of scissors and had already begun to cut the material into pieces the size of small handkerchiefs.

 

“Huh,” said Zack, and the quirk of his lip suggested he was impressed.

 

Zack looked up suddenly, his brow slightly creased as he stared absently out into the cabin.  Dale watched this grimly, and then held out one of the bandage pieces that he had already cut.

 

“Th’hh-thahh-thanks,” Zack said, his chest shaking with rapid breaths.  He cupped the cloth around his face with one hand, fumbling as he shoved the used tissue into his pocket with this other.  “AhH’USHHUH! H’USHH! USHH! HAH’TCHYEW!”

 

He panted afterwards, and Kunsel wasn’t surprised.  He’d heard Zack sneeze before, obviously, but never like this - they were as big and forceful as always, but now fast and multiple, driving out of his lungs in relentlessly quick succession.  Kunsel wasn’t sure where he found the breath.

 

Zack gave a grunt of discomfort and tipped his head back, digging the heel of his hands into each of his eyes, his face scrunched tight.  “The fucking itching.”

 

Dale shook his head, his lips pressed into an tense line.  “You can’t keep going like this.” He said it quietly, and it sounded more like his private assessment than information he was trying to give to Zack.

 

Zack was sat next to him though, so of course he heard it, and he swatted Dale on the arm with the back of his hand.  “Quit being so dramatic.”

 

“Quit downplaying,” Dale said instantly.

 

Kunsel caught Zack’s frown at that before it was wiped away as his nose crinkled and his face went slack.  He gave a breath, shallow and irritated, blinking quickly, before he wrenched over his  shoulder. “USHHhUH! USHHhAH! HUHH’USHHUH! HAH’USCHH!”

 

“You need to get the hell out of those clothes,” Dale said immediately as Zack finished.

 

“Well yeah, I intend to,” Zack said.  His voice was still thick and breathy from his little run of sneezing, but his tone made it clear that he was stating the obvious. He brushed tears from his eyelashes with the back of his glove.  “Got big showering plans after we’re done with this debrief.

 

“I mean before the debrief.”

 

“What?”

 

“Call Tseng back now.”  Dale said, with the kind of authoritative air he would have used to get them all ready for a room inspection.  “Tell him you’re getting washed up before we all meet.”

 

Zack eyed Dale quizzically.  “Yeah, I don’t need to do that.”

 

“Yes,” Dale said, exasperation creeping into his tone.  “You do.  You think you’re fooling anyone here Zack?”

 

“I…” There was a little catch in Zack’s voice, a tiny lift of his breath.  He huffed in frustration, shaking his head.  “I can handle it.”  He smashed the heel of his hand against the side of his nose.

 

“You know how many times you’ve sneezed on this flight?  Fifty?  More?”

 

After a mental calculation, Kunsel decided with some alarm that it was probably more.

 

“Yeah. Sneezing, Dale. It’s not ehh- exactly… HAH’USHHhAH! HEH’SHUH! SHUH! H’EHHh..!  Ehh..! HAHP’TSCHH!” He pinched the bridge of his nose, scrunching his face.  “It’s not exactly a huge deal.”

 

“Be more convincing if you didn’t sneeze right in the middle.”

 

Zack folded his arms, sitting back in his chair.  “Whatever, man.”

 

“And you just got through telling Kunsel how you don’t feel well.”

 

“Yeah well, I wanna moan about it,” Zack said, the pace of his words quickening with annoyance.  “Doesn’t mean I don’t wanna follow my orders.”

 

“We’re talking about ten minutes to shower!”

 

“Or you could butt out and let me make my own decisions.”

 

“Your decisions are fucking stupid.”

 

“Do you wanna quit?”   Kunsel said, his voice cutting through the rising tension in the cabin.  He leant over in his seat to address the pair of them.  “Seriously, what the hell?”

 

The others fell silent, though the angry energy of unsaid words still crackled in the cabin.

 

Kunsel took a breath, and, out of deference to his position, he turned to Zack.  “This the kind of mission you run?”

 

Zack drew in a tense breath, and then let it out, his shoulders relaxing slightly.  Sucking his teeth, he gave a little shake of his head.  He closed his eyes, then glanced at Dale before he filled his lungs again.  “Debrief’s not up for debate,” he said.  “I’ll be going.” Zack’s voice sounded like Kunsel had never heard it before, tight and clipped.  “If you wanna skip it, that’s fine.  I’ll let you know what’s going on.”

 

Kunsel watched, feeling oddly proud.  Zack had always seemed utterly bored by the titles and the ceremony that accompanied their military existence.  Kunsel got the impression that he didn’t love using his rank even amongst the infantry and random SOLDIER acquaintances.  Using it against Dale was in on a different level entirely.  Still, sometimes it was necessary, and it was good to know that Zack knew how to draw on that authority when he needed to.

 

Dale huffed, pressing his lips together and looking away,  Kunsel could tell there was a retort on the tip of his tongue, but at least he had the good sense to bite it back.  It wasn’t that he didn’t understand Dale’s position.  He did - and in large part he actually agreed with it.  Zack seemed pathologically incapable of slowing down when he needed to, and it was hard work worrying about someone who didn’t wanna worry about themselves.  They obviously weren’t gonna get anywhere right now though, with Zack feeling shitty and the pair of them irked and simmering.

 

“Hey Arjun,” Zack said, wincing and rubbing his thumb into his eye.  His voice still sounded taut and brittle.  “Um… You think you can overlook this crap?  Chalk it up to the snot I got trying to drown my brain?”

 

“Sounds reasonable to me, buddy.  You guys alright back there?”

 

“Yeah,” Zack said flatly.  Then he added in a mutter, too low for Arjun to hear, “Starting to work out why Lazard never let me pick my t-hh- my team… HEH…SHEW! HEHhSHEW!”  He pressed the crumpled piece of bandage to his face, his eyes squeezed shut and shoulders lifting with irritated breaths. “Eht’TSCHYEW! Hehp’TSCHYEW! HAH’USCHH! HAHh’TiSCHH!”

 

At his side, Dale had picked up the bandage with a roll of his eyes, resuming his job of cutting it into pieces.

 

“You want these or not?” Sounding pretty checked out of the whole situation, Dale held out the little stack of bandages.

 

Zack looked at Dale sidelong, scanning him up and down.  “Yeah I do,” he said, his voice heavy with congestion.

 

Dale gave a nod of permission, and Zack took the pieces of bandages to shove into his pocket.   

 

“Thanks,” he muttered, before looking back at the ground.

 

—

 

 

By, the time they touched down, Zack was looking worse.  His little sneezing fits were no less intense, but they’d taken on an exhausted air.   Even in the relative calm between them, he was breathing heavily through his mouth, frequently breaking into rapid, irritated hitches that sometimes led nowhere at all, only leaving him hunching over, pawing helplessly at his aggravated nose.

 

As soon as they were out of the chopper, and beyond Arjun’s earshot, Dale caught Zack by the arm.  “Need to talk to you buddy.”

 

Zack looked at him, but his eyes and nose were strained, eyebrows pinching together while his nostrils flared.  He swallowed, holding up a hand as he pulled his arm away.  “Ju-uhh… one second…” he breathed, before taking some few quick paces away from them, lifting his arm to his face as his head bobbed with audible breaths.

 

“You about to wind each other up again?” Kunsel asked Dale as Zack broke into another round of sneezing.

 

Pressing his lips together, Dale gave a little shake of his head.  “I just wanna talk to him.”

 

“Look I don’t know what’s got into the pair of you, but-”

 

“I said talk, Kunsel.”

 

“Has it occurred to you that he’s not really in a position to…” Kunsel trailed off abruptly, as he noticed Zack heading back over to them, his nose still looking twitchy and irritated as he rubbed a piece of bandage roughly underneath.

 

“S’up?” Zack asked.

 

“Look,” Dale sighed.  Pursing his lips and looking up at nothing in particular, he appeared to gather his thoughts.  “Been thinking ‘bout talking to you for a while now.”  His gaze dropped to his boots, and he scuffed them against the metal ground.  “I guess this whole situation just dragged it out of me.”

 

Zack’s eyes narrowed.  “What’s going on?”

 

Dale gave a huff, and then finally looked at Zack directly.  “You’re getting in real deep with ShinRa, kid.” He peered into Zack’s eyes as though he could read answers there.  “Aren’t ya?” He said.  “Wading into their dirtiest crap.”

 

Zack didn’t answer that, but Kunsel thought he briefly lost some colour, and there was a fleeting vulnerability that passed into his gaze before he looked away.  It made Kunsel shudder.  Actually, it made him feel like grabbing Zack by the shirt and getting them both the hell out of SOLDIER.

 

“You don’t hafta tell me anything,” Dale continued.  “Just know that some of their classified shit does actually make it down to us.”

 

Kunsel inspected his boots, aware that Zack would know full well that most stuff Dale knew was entirely down to him and his needling curiosity.

 

“You’ve wound up in this because you got some talent, and I respect that,” Dale continued.  “Hell, I’m proud of you.  But if you’re gonna go down this track with them, you’re gonna hafta start taking care of yourself.  We’re not always gonna be there to have your back. And I’d say it’s becoming pretty fucking apparent that ShinRa aren’t gonna look out for you.”

 

“I…” Zack began, but then he stilled.  He scrunched his nose tight before he huffed a shallow breath.  “Fuck's sake,” he muttered, bringing a fist against his septum as he shook his head.  After pressing hard with little result, he held up a finger.  “One-huhh…” He turned his back.  “Hhh’HAHTCHUH! HEHP’CHIH! HAH’CHISHH! EhhHHt’SHEW!”

 

Dale met Kunsel’s eye briefly as Zack was occupied with sneezing, but Kunsel looked away.  He’d had similar worries about Zack, honestly, but the topic was too big.  There were just too many implications - for all of them.  He didn’t even know where to begin.

 

When Zack turned back to face them, he was sniffling and scrubbing a fist against his nose.  He shifted to press his fingers against the corner of his eye, beginning to look tired.  He cleared his throat.  “You ever thought that it’s not that I’m not looking out for myself.  I just have a different opinion of what I can handle.”

 

“You call this handling things?” Dale said, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Yeah, I do actually,” Zack said, without hesitation.  “I mean, the sneezing and stuff, it’s not like it’s fun - actually it’s getting pretty fucking old, but it’s not unbearable.  I don’t need anyone to look after me.”

 

Dale leant back, regarding him.  “You sat in a dusty hellhole for thirty minutes.”

 

“Yeah, and it got us some pretty significant intel,” Zack said, nodding at the files in Kunsel’s hands.

 

“Yeah,” Kunsel said.  “You ever think about taking all this stuff out of the room before you sat down and started leafing through it?”

 

Zack’s eyes widened and his face fell, before ultimately he shrugged.  “Okay, look, I never claimed to be smart.”  He gave a snort of laughter, and bit his lip, shaking his head, before he looked at Dale.  “Listen, when I came into the dorm room, I was really young, I know that - Kunsel too actually - and you looked out for us.  I’ll always be grateful for that.”

 

Kunsel nodded silently, still feeling the weight of their discussion.

 

“But I’m not a kid anymore,” Zack continued.  “Been doing this for a few years now, you know?  I don’t need taking care of, and it’s not your job to have my back.”

 

Dale looked at Zack, the sum total of their long history present in his eyes.  Zack approached life with more enthusiasm than logic, and he’d had given them no shortage of reasons for concern over their time together, but the recent stuff with ShinRa was something else entirely.  Dale gave a hum that sounded a long way from convinced.

 

“C’mon.  Can we go get this stuff handed in?” Zack said.  “‘Cause those fresh clothes you mentioned are sounding like a pretty great idea right now.”

 

With that, they made their way to the elevator for the long trip down to the Turks’ basement headquarters.  Kunsel didn’t miss Dale’s eyes on Zack as the sneezing kept coming thick and fast.

 

—

 

Given that, of the three of them, Kunsel seemed to be the least affected by the dust that was still shaking it’s way out between pages and from Zack’s clothes and hair, he had volunteered to hold the files on the way down to the Turks’ office.  He carried them carefully, trying to keep his steps even to avoid shaking more dust into the air.  Even so, his eyes had started watering not long after they had gotten off the chopper.  By the time were in elevator, his nose was running too, and prickling with an insistence that made him think it wasn’t just going to slip into quiet submission if he continued to ignore it.  He watched the display above the elevator doors counting down through the floors, hoping that Tseng wouldn’t keep them waiting.

 

As it happened, he was out in the corridor as they stepped from the elevator.  Kunsel didn’t know the Turk supervisor, but Zack seemed to like him.  He was dressed in the crisp, black suit and gloves that was typical of ShinRa’s intelligence agency, with smooth black hair that swept slick against his head and pulled into a sleek ponytail.

 

“I’m glad you’re all here,” he said, angling his head as he greeted them, his face calmly neutral. “If these files are as Zack described, I may have further work for you.”

 

Zack cleared his throat, rubbing at his nose with a knuckle.  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure they won’t disappoint.”

 

“Do you want to come through, and we can take a look?” Tseng said, gesturing into the office.

 

“Uh huh.”  Zack nodded.  He scrunched his nose and his face slackened as took a quivering breath.  Pushing his fist into his nose, he squeezed his eyes tight, and seemed to recover.   

 

Kunsel thought Tseng’s eyes lingered on Zack for an extra beat, but otherwise he didn’t react.

 

“Could you set those down on my desk please Kunsel?” Tseng said.

 

Kunsel’s eyebrows raised, surprised that Tseng had known his name.  “Yes, sir,” he said.  Relived at the opportunity to put them down, he took the files to the curved table at the front of the room.

 

Kunsel noticed that, in Tseng’s presence, rank had slipped silently back into the dynamic of their group.  He was pleased to find that they made the transition pretty seamlessly, in spite of the earlier tension between Zack and Dale.  That boded well for future work might do together.  Though honestly, the itching in Kunsel’s nose was becoming so maddening that he was more than happy to sit back and let Zack take care of their part in any discussion.  He took a seat opposite Dale at the big conference table and tried to rub at his eyes without drawing too much attention.

 

“hhhuh’GgH’TCHuH!”

 

It was only when he heard Zack’s irritated sneeze, that Kunsel realised he hadn’t sat down.  He was stood in the corner, head back and arm across his face, his chest shaking with heaving breaths.

 

“AHhh’TISHHhEW! HEHhh’TISHhhEw!  HEHKT’ISHHYEW! HEHT’SHYEW!”

 

When Zack turned round, Tseng was stood behind his desk, looking over at him in question.  Zack lifted a hand and rubbed his thumb against his temple.  “Uh - yeah. I’m - uh - I’m not at my best.”  He gave a shrug and a grin and headed over to the desk in a sheepish shuffle.

 

“Well… bless you,” Tseng said.  Features pinched in a frown, he gave a little dip of his head.

 

Zack laughed as he took a seat next to Kunsel.  “Thanks Tseng, but I wouldn’t bother, honestly.  Probably won’t be the last time.”

 

Kunsel found himself glancing across to Dale, who regarded Zack in a stony silence.

 

“Hmm,” Tseng answered,  also looking at Zack, his lips tightening slightly.  He reached in his pocket for a silken black dust mask.  After unfolding it, he slipped it over his face and took a seat behind his desk.  Kunsel saw Zack watch this with his mouth agape.  He swung his head towards Kunsel, jerking a thumb in Tseng’s direction with wide-eyed incredulity.  It took a little effort for Kunsel to suppress his despairing laughter.

 

“Mmm” Tseng said again, as he leafed through the files.  Kunsel was beginning to suspect that he was pretty fluent in the language of hums and grunts.  He and Dale could probably have some pretty comprehensive wordless conversations.

 

Itching burned in Kunsel’s nose, hard enough to snatch his breath, and he realised to his misery that he wasn’t going to be able to hold back a sneeze.  He pinched his nose, twisting away from the table as his breaths came soft and shallow.  “Hhh’hih’hih’hhHH’HgNGHT’tchuh! Huhhhh’HNnHTtCHhuh!”

 

When he looked up, sniffling, Zack was looking back at him with watery eyes, his head dipped in concern.  “Bless you,” Zack said, a note of surprise in his tone.

 

Dale’s glance also flicked across to him, and Tseng gave a grunt of acknowledgement, forehead slightly creased between his eyes.

 

Kunsel stared down at the desk, feeling entirely conspicuous, as Zack patted at his pocket, apparently finding it empty.

 

“Hey Tseng,” Zack said,  “you wouldn’t happen to have tissues back there?”

 

Without looking up from what he was doing, Tseng reached low and lifted up a box, placing it on the desk top.  Zack grinned in appreciation, despite his slumped shoulders, and he near-jogged to the desk to retrieve it.  “This is awesome Tseng, thanks.  Have I told you lately how you’re the best?”

 

Tseng acknowledged that with a raise of his hand, his attention still entirely buried in the files.  He held each page delicately in his gloved fingertips as he turned them, his expression serious.

 

Maybe it was coincidence, but Kunsel noticed that after returning from the desk, up close to the files, Zack’s nostrils were twitchier and angry-red.  He held the box out to Kunsel first, though the distant look on his face said he was gonna need them himself pretty imminently.

 

Sure enough, the second Kunsel’s hand was out of the box, he was twisting around. “HUHTt’ISHHHEW!” He sneezed into his arm before fighting to liberate tissues from the box.  “HUH’ISHHhEW!”  After that he stayed where he was, shoulders curled over and tissue pressed against his face.  His chest shook wildly in preparation for another sneeze.  Suddenly he reared back, eyes creasing at the corners and mouth dropping wider.  He lifted the tissues to hold them out in front of his face.   “HuHhhhISHHEW!” He sneezed, sinking his face into the bundle in his hand.  “HuHh’ISHHEW! -HuHhhISHHEW!- HuHTt’TiSHHHEW!”  When he turned for another dip into the tissue box, Kunsel could see how exhausted he looked.  His eyes and nose were drippy and agitated, his mouth hanging open as he abandoned any further attempt to breath through his nose.

 

Zack blew his nose noisily and then cleared his throat.  “Uh… Tseng..?”  He said, his voice barely breaking out of a rasp.  “There gonna be any orders at the end of this?  Not that I wanna rush you, but a couple of us are dying on our asses out here.”

 

Kunsel wasn’t sure how he felt about being lumped in with that, but he supposed that if it got them all into a shower quicker he could take it.

 

Tseng gave a third different type of hum and then looked up from the papers.  “Well, I can see that you weren’t exaggerating,” he said to Zack.  “We think the overwhelming likelihood is that the group will have duplicates of these files.”  He looked at Zack seriously.  “Given the level of information they’ve gathered on ShinRa, I imagine I don’t need to tell you that that poses us a significant threat.”

 

“Right,” Zack said, leaning back against the conference desk.

 

“We already have a lead on their new location.  Ideally, we’d like you and your men to eliminate the base,” he looked up at Zack, a hint of something empathetic and human just touching the edges of his business-like manner.   “Are you fit for combat Zack?” He asked sternly, but softly.

 

“Yeah,” Zack said with a sniff, running his fingers and thumb up and down the bridge of his nose.  “Yeah, I am.”

 

“And your team?”

 

“Kunsel?” Zack asked, turning to look at him.

 

Kunsel hesitated, “Uh, yeah, I am, but…”

 

“We got you Tseng,” Zack answered, cutting him off.

 

Tseng nodded.  “Very well.  We have a chopper on standby.  I will be accompanying you, and we will leave immediately.”

 

Zack sat straighter at that.  “Um…Immediately?”

 

Tseng looked up at him.  “Given the nature of the intelligence they’ve gathered, this could very quickly become a serious situation.”

 

“Oh.  Uh…” Zack began, and for a moment Kunsel thought he might be upfront with Tseng about what he needed, but then he nodded, twisting to take another handful of tissues.  “Yeah… yeah… I get it.”

 

Kunsel watched this, an unsettled feeling gathering in the pit of his stomach.  His own eyes and and nose were still a little drippy and irritated, but he was pretty sure that after a little longer away from the files, he could recover just fine.  Zack, on the other hand, was covered head-to-toe in dust and looking… well, not like someone that you’d send against dangerous insurgents.  He was already trying not to sneeze again - Kunsel could tell.  He’d stood from his perch against the desk,and was pacing across the room, the heel of his hand tight against his nose as if he were trying to flatten it.  Kunsel didn’t doubt he’d pull something out of the bag if he had to, but it seemed like madness to send him into a fight in this state just for the sake of a few extra minutes.

 

The hierarchy in the room made it difficult to say something though, and Zack had been pretty clear that he didn’t want them to intervene.

 

At the other side of the table, Dale cleared his throat.  “Uh… Sir?”

 

Everyone turned to him as if they’d just remembered he was there .

 

“I think all three of us want to see this through, but we’re gonna be more use to you in combat if you can spare a few minutes for us to shower and change.”

 

Tseng lifted his fingers to his lips briefly, and nodded.  “It’s a reasonable suggestion, given the circumstances” he said, his gaze landing momentarily on Zack.  “I will meet you at the helipad in fifteen minutes.”

 

Tension left Kunsel’s body along with a breath he hadn’t even known he’d been holding, and he sank back into his chair.

 

Tseng handed the files to an assistant (who also had a dust mask - of course) and nodded towards them.  “Gentlemen.”

 

Tseng hadn’t even left the room before Zack gave a grunt that was almost pained.  He took an enormous breath.  Frozen in place, that first gasp dissolved into a string of smaller ones, his voice breaking through into his breaths as they grew faster and increasingly irritated. “Hhh’hh’Hhh’Huhhh’Huh’Huh’HUHhh’HAH’ISHHHuh!-HAH’ISHHHuh!  ISHH!  IHSHH!  HURR’ISHHSHAH!” He sneezed explosively, one after another, arresting a stumble with a hand against the wall.  Afterwards, he slumped there, eyes closed and breathing heavily through his mouth.  He cleared his throat eventually.  “Dale,” he said, without looking up, his voice a broken crackle.

 

Dale dropped his head, giving it a frustrated shake as he stared at the wall.  Kunsel got the impression he was preparing for an earful, and the words were ready on own his lips to defend him.  Zack turned though, leaning heavily back against the wall and holding the bridge of his nose with a stuffy groan.  He tipped his head back, pressing a bundle of tissues to his face as he fought his running nose with a string of helpless sniffles.  He blinked, probably trying to clear the itchy tears from his eyes.  “I’m - uh…” He gave a huff of ironic laughter, looking over at Dale.   “I’m r-hhHh-really glad you had my back… buddy… HuhHHR’ESHHUH!  HuHHH’RESHhhUHhh! HAHT’TCHYEW!”

Edited December 12, 2023 by SexualOddity

[solitaire-au]

Aww, this is so sweet!

The addition of Arjun was nice. It really comes through that Kunsel and Dale care for Zack and they worry about him.
 

I loved the reference to their shared history. They are especially worried now that he’s a first class SOLDIER and they literally can’t always have his back any more, and it pains them. Even Zack feels it, but he can’t bring himself to agree on the need to take care of himself. The angst they all feel about the change since his promotion really came through. (And if you plan to explore it further, that would be fantastic.)

And then the bit at the end where Dale interjects to point out that the need to shower and change to be combat ready, was very tactful and kind of him. (Not to mention wise, as constantly sneezing in combat is very dangerous!)

Thank you so much for this instalment! 🥰 💗 

[SexualOddity]

 

1 hour ago, solitaire-au said:

Aww, this is so sweet!

The addition of Arjun was nice. It really comes through that Kunsel and Dale care for Zack and they worry about him.
 

I loved the reference to their shared history. They are especially worried now that he’s a first class SOLDIER and they literally can’t always have his back any more, and it pains them. Even Zack feels it, but he can’t bring himself to agree on the need to take care of himself. The angst they all feel about the change since his promotion really came through. (And if you plan to explore it further, that would be fantastic.)

And then the bit at the end where Dale interjects to point out that the need to shower and change to be combat ready, was very tactful and kind of him. (Not to mention wise, as constantly sneezing in combat is very dangerous!)

Thank you so much for this instalment! 🥰 💗 

Aw thank you. 🥰  I'm so glad that you liked how it ended up. I have to point out, though, that the vast majority of that stuff only happened because of you and the involvement of a pilot was your direct suggestion! You deserve so much credit. This ended up so much better because of your input (I think so anyway) and I really am so grateful.

I might be able to pull out some more of their feelings about this in the sequel to Humanity, I'll see how it goes. I'm pretty certain that they will all be in it - but they'll also have some more pressing things to worry over, given how Zack was doing at the end of Humanity.

[solitaire-au]

Does that mean that’s the end of this fic? Would it be too much to hope for a bit more interaction of the three of them in the barracks and/or showers? (Appropriately rated for this subforum, of course!)

With the hair that he has, and his restless personality, I can just see Zack doing a full body shake like dogs do, when they try and shake excess water drops off! And probably annoying Dale and Kunsel a bit more! 😁 

[SexualOddity]

Oooh okay… It might be tricky I think.  If I understand the rules correctly I think nudity is out except on the adult board.  And they only have fifteen minutes so I guess it’d be pretty much a shower and go situation.  I suppose that wouldn’t stop me from doing an additional part in the adult section though, I’ve seen other people split their fics in that way.  

 

I’m not sure about this one, I do promise to think about it and I’ll write something if I can catch some inspiration (but probably in the adult bit).  Initial reaction is I’m not sure that I can pull enough out of it to be worthy of a third part (but then I said that last time too so I guess you never know).

 

Totally can see Zack shaking himself like a dog though 🤣

[solitaire-au]

How about, Zack covered with a towel post shower, but he shakes his hair dry in the name of saving time? (Plus he’s already complained before that he doesn’t like towel drying his hair because it makes it go all tangly.) 😉 

[SexualOddity]

5 hours ago, solitaire-au said:

How about, Zack covered with a towel post shower, but he shakes his hair dry in the name of saving time? (Plus he’s already complained before that he doesn’t like towel drying his hair because it makes it go all tangly.) 😉 

Okay... I'll see what I can do (it might be fairly short unless a bunch more stuff comes to me as I'm writing)

[SexualOddity]

Fun fact: When I first drafted this fic, it ended in the empty resistance base and my premise was ‘no big deal sneezing’.  How things change 🤣.  I think I’ve probably made things get bad enough now that I need to officially state that it’s a different universe than my fic Humanity and its associated stories.  Basically, I screwed myself over by writing a fic where it’s fairly significant that Zack doesn’t usually sneeze a lot… and then proceeded to want to write him sneezing a lot.  Fetish problems I guess…

 

Quick apology for anyone who was hoping for a return to the characters’ conversation outside the helicopter.  With the time pressure they’re under I just couldn’t get them back to that headspace, but I do have other fics in the works that will delve into that stuff a bit more.

 

Like the last part - this is beta read by @solitaire-au. As well as coaching me to add parts to this 😅, she also coaches me to be more descriptive and to make more sense in general.  I’m trying to learn on the job.

 

—

 

It was a good thing that Dale spoke up when he did, because soon after that, the sneezing became almost continuous.  Zack’s eyes - when he managed to open them - were bloodshot and puffy, frequently glazing with itchy distraction.  Little of the rest of his face was visible at all.  He had casually taken ownership of Tseng’s tissue box and he dipped into it constantly, clutching it in one hand while he bundled tissues to his nose with the other.

 

As they trudged the maze of corridors, Zack’s steps slowed for what must have been the twentieth time.  He rested a shaky hand on the wall, bumping the tissue box against his shoulder as he lifted the crook of his arm.  “Hhhahh… Hhh-hh-Hhuh…HuHhHaHATCHYEW! H’AtTCHYEW! HuUSHHhUH! HuHt’TSHUH!”   

 

Kunsel winced.  He tapped his fingers against his phone. He rubbed a hand through his crew-cut hair.  He checked the time for the third time in two minutes.  “Uh… buddy?” He said, eventually.  “I don’t wanna be insensitive here, but do you think you could sneeze and walk at the same time?”

 

Zack pushed himself from the wall with a grunt of effort.  He looked itchy: blinking repeatedly, his eyelashes wet with collected tears and his nose twitching in irritable little scrunches.

 

“I’ll do mh-my b-hehhh Hehh-HISHHEW!-HUH’ISHHHEW!-HAH’AHSCHYEW! HAHt’TSHYEW!”

 

“How in the world did you think you were gonna fight like this?” Dale muttered, his eyes wide as he shook his head.

 

“I’m an idiot.” Zack said, his voice cracking and congested as he trudged along behind them.  “Have we not ehhh… Heh… ehh… established this… now… AH’TSCH’YEW!  HEHT’TSCH’YEW!  HEHt’ISHHEW!”  He pressed the heel of his hand between his nose and his cheek. “HAHh… AHhh… Oh fuck,” he breathed.  “It whhh-HAH!  It won’t st’HAH’stohhhpp…”

 

“Shower.  Now.”  Dale’s words were clipped and urgent.  “Do you want me to carry you?  That is a serious offer at this point.”

 

“Wait,” Kunsel said.  “I’ve been thinking about this. If he touches his fresh clothes, he’s gonna cover them in dust.  What if you get my stuff, and I get Zack’s?”

 

Dale gave a sharp nod and an affirmative grunt, his eyes trained on Zack while Kunsel laid a hand on his hunched shoulders.

 

“Can I take your keycard buddy?” Kunsel said, gently summoning Zack’s attention as he stumbled down the corridor, sneezing.  “Dale and are I gonna grab spare uniforms and towels while you get yourself to the showers.  That alright?”

 

Zack straightened a little and blew his nose.  When he dropped the tissues, his nostrils were already flinching and flaring, rimmed in a painful-looking crimson.  He dug in his pocket for his keycard, his chest shaking with erratic breaths.

 

Dale set a hand on Zack’s arm, ducking to peer up at his face.  “You sure you can get there safely?”

 

Zack nodded, grabbing at his nose and trying to twist away from Dale.

 

“C’mon,” Kunsel said.  “He’s got it covered.”  A prick of worry made him hesitate though, and he bit his lip as he glanced back at Zack.  “Do you? Have it covered?”

 

Zack managed to raise his hand in a ‘thumbs up’ gesture before wrenching to his side with another round of forceful sneezing.

 

—

 

Kunsel leant on the wall outside the shower cubicles for about half a second before he was up and pacing again.  He tossed his helmet between his hands, having reverted to his policy of keeping it strictly regulation now that Tseng was on board.  He checked the time on his phone again and grimaced, tapping an anxious toe within his boot.

 

“Zack,” he said, unintended impatience creeping into his tone.  “Are you anywhere close to being done?”

 

Guhh-getting there… buddy… HaHR’ISHHSHYEW! HUH’ISHHHUH! HUH’ISHHEW! HAH’ISCHH!”  Behind the cubicle door there was a drawn-out groan, and when Zack spoke again it sounded like he was gritting his teeth.  “Be a lot quicker if I could just… stop… sneezing.”

 

“Breathe, Kunsel.” Dale said from the side of the room.  He was sat on one of the benches, his heel on the seat as he fastened his bootlace.  “Tseng’ll wait for us.  He’ll have to.”

 

“I kept him waiting once before.”  Behind the door, the sound of running water had stopped, leaving only shuffling and Zack’s echoing voice. “Hhhh…Hhh… HUH’ISHHUH! HuhHH’ISHHUH! Hahhh…Ahh… haaAHTt’ISHH!” There was an aggressive sniff and a cough before Zack continued.  “He wasn’t happy I was late, but it’s not like he left without me or anything.”

 

“Why were you late?”  Dale’s eyes narrowed in a way that suggested he expected a story.

 

There was a scrape and a click of metal before the door opened.  Zack had his trousers on already and he was dragging his black turtle neck over his head.  He gave a self conscious laugh.

 

“I - uh - I was chatting up one of the receptionists in the lobby.”  He laughed more freely at Dale’s exaggerated eye roll, sniffling repeatedly as he pulled his arms into his shirt.  “Tseng caught me as well.  I swear, he’s so polite, but he has this deadpan look that makes you think he’s gonna kill you.” He reached past Dale to retrieve the box of tissues where he’d left them on a sink.  “This all happened before Aerith, obviously.”

 

“You pulled that shit as a Second?” Kunsel put down his helmet and took Zack’s kit from the bench.  He put most of it within grabbing distance, but ducked low with the harness, wrapping it around Zack’s waist.  “Fucking hell man, sometimes I don’t know whether to find you impressive or stupid.”

 

Zack grinned wide as he set about slipping his arms into the harness straps.  “Hey, why you gotta pick just one?”  He dropped a strap then, letting it droop at his hips as he pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Ugh Kunsel, can you back up a s- a sec… huHh-UHh…HUHh’RISHHUH!”  He bent his knees as he jerked forward, bracing against his thigh. “HUHTt’ISHHUH! Ahh…HUSHhSHEW! HUHt’TCHUH!”  Zack gave a grunt that mixed exhaustion and frustration and disgust, and he reached for the tissues for another blow of his nose.

 

“Shit,” Dale said, grimly.  His expression was dark, emphasised by his deep set eyes and heavy brow.  His jaw clenched as he studied Zack.

 

“Need to address the fact that you’re still sneezing, buddy.” Kunsel said, softly, anticipating another argument and wanting to head it off.

 

“Yeah, yeah.  I know, I know.”  Zack wriggled his nose around, pressing at it with the back of his hand.  “I think it is stopping.”  He turned his hand to scrub back and forth with a loose fist.  “Maybe I just gotta get the tickles out.”  He gave a run of quick, hard sniffles.  “I feel a little better every time… I… uh…. Every… time…”  Zack’s words trailed away, his nose twitching as he lifted his head.  He nodded in the direction of the ceiling, his eyes opening and closing in slow, repeated blinks.

 

Kunsel shook his head and checked his phone again.

 

“HaHHH’RUSHHHUH!” Zack’s head drove down violently, and he set a hand against the sink for support. “HUHH’USHHUH!  HAH’SHEW!  HEHP’SCHYEW!  HUH’TCHUH!”  He panted, lifting a hand to hold Kunsel off when he approached again to fasten the harness buckle.  For a moment he gazed absently at the floor, blinking, and scrunching and releasing his nose.  “No way.”  When he finally stood up straight, he burst into a grin.  “Ya know what?” His almond eyes twinkled.  ‘I might actually be done.”

 

Dale nodded, though his gaze didn’t lose its intensity.  “That’s good.”  He moved closer, lines forming across his wide forehead as his eyes bore into Zack.   “How do you feel?  Really?”  The last word was stern and weighty with the authority that seemed intrinsic to Dale.

 

They locked eyes for a moment, but if there was a silent power struggle, then Zack lost it.   He raised a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug.  “I mean, I’m tired.  My throat hurts.”  He rubbed a knuckle under his nose and sniffed.  “It’s not a big deal.  Probably have perked up by the time we’re off the flight.”

 

Dale looked at Zack with a slow, appraising nod.  “Okay,” he said.  “I’ll be back.” He stopped as he walked past Kunsel, catching his eye and pointing a finger in his direction.  “I won’t be long.”

 

Kunsel squirmed a little as Dale left.  Dale always seemed to know what he was thinking. He gave body a shake to brush off his discomfort, and found Zack smirking back at him.

 

“I know right? Guy’s so damn intense.”

 

“He means well,” Kunsel said with a shrug.  “You wind him up with your logic resistance.”

 

Zack snickered at that description, and Kunsel rolled his eyes.

 

“Not a compliment, buddy.”  He grabbed a belt and handed it to Zack before finally fastening his harness.  “You sure you’re alright?  ‘Cause it seems like these insurgents mean business.”

 

“I will be,” Zack sniffled as he fussed with his belt loops.  When he straightened, he shook his head with a laugh, slipping his dangling harness strap up onto his shoulder.  “That was something, huh?  Can you believe it got that bad?”

 

“Zack, you’re really sensitive,” Kunsel said, staring at him as if he could beam the information into his skull.  “You know that now, okay?  Can you please remember?  Next time you feel like crawling in some hellhole?”

 

“Well, maybe I’m sensitive…” Socks in his hand, Zack dropped a towel and used his foot to mop up a puddle.  “Maybe I was just really covered in dust.” .

 

Kunsel gave a dry laugh as he picked up Zack’s second belt.  “Hey.  Why you gotta pick just one?”

 

Dale strode back into the room then with a canteen of water and a packet of lozenges.  Zack blinked, open-mouthed, when he held them out.

 

“Holy crap.  Where do you always find this shit?”

 

“I have contacts.”  Dale hitched his stocky shoulders in the slightest of shrugs.  “What?” He added, when Zack and Kunsel stared at him.  “It takes organisation to look after you idiots.”

 

“Well, thank you,” Zack said, taking them with an appreciative nod.  He set the canteen on the sink but immediately opened the packet of lozenges.  “This is actually awesome.” He unwrapped one to pop into his mouth, and went to slip on his socks.   No sooner had he lifted a foot, than he set it back down again.  He straightened and squeezed his eyes shut instead.  Suddenly his face went slack, and he pinched his nose, turning his back.  Kunsel watched in horror as he tipped backwards, his chest rising and falling with rapidly hitching breaths.

 

“Hih’hih’hh’hh’hh’HH’HNKH!  HEHh’NNKH!”  Zack stifled the sneezes into angry squeaks, and grimaced, his fingers pressed against his throat.

 

“Zack…” Kunsel gaped.

 

Dale went rigid.  “This starting up again?” His voice was tight and his words were quick.

 

Zack turned, oblivious, sniffling and rubbing his nose.  “What?  Oh,” he said, the edge of a laugh breaking into the word.  “No.  Was just the menthol in the lozenge guys.  I’m fine.”

 

Dale’s mouth dropped open.  “You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

 

Zack held up placating hands in his defence.  “No more crazy sneezing fits, I promise.”

 

Dale turned away, running a hand through his short, blond hair.  “Fucking hell,” he breathed, with a tense shake of his head.  He pivoted, pointing a finger at Zack.  “You had better not be bullshitting.  Odin’s blade, Fair.  I was about five seconds away from calling Tseng and telling him not to take you.  Or calling a medic.”

 

“I swear, I am totally fine,” Zack told him, his lips twitching in amusement.

 

Kunsel sank his head into his hands, with a noise that was somewhere between a groan and a laugh.  As he dragged his palms down his face, he met Zack’s eye over the tops of his gloved fingers.  “I don’t even know what to do with you man.  How do you get into these situations?”  He laughed, and moved in closer to Zack to clip on his shoulder guard.  “Don’t you ever wake up and think, ‘I’m gonna have a nice, easy day: do my assignment, take out the enemy, and get back to write my report before any dumb shit goes down.’”

 

“Nah, man,” Zack said, finally getting into his socks.  “Sounds dull.” He grabbed Kunsel’s arm as he stood back up.  “And you like it better this way, too.  Don’t ya?” Zack cocked his head and raised his eyebrows, daring Kunsel to honesty.

 

Further down the row of sinks, Dale snorted.  Kunsel scowled, but it was mainly because there was a devilish part of him that couldn’t disagree.  Not that he wanted to see Zack helplessly sneezing and uncomfortable, but unlike Dale he didn’t have the excuse of circumstances forcing their relationship.  He’d been friends with Zack when they were both Third Classes, before they’d bunked together.  That did take a certain willingness to embrace the chaos.  Zack was well aware of this apparently, and he grinned, a glimmer of knowing victory dancing through his eyes.

 

“You know what I’d actually like?” Kunsel said, removing Zack’s hand from his arm and grabbing his second pauldron.  “I’d like if the next time we get a major job like this, all of us can show up on time and fully functional.”

 

“Hey.” Zack scrubbed his nose with the back of his hand.  “First, I don’t see anyone here who isn’t fully functional.”

 

Dale raised his eyebrows at that, but he didn’t object.

 

“Second,”  Zack reached for his phone in his pocket and checked the time.  “Okay, we are a little late.”  He cocked his head in concession.  “But I,” he said, slipping his feet into his boots, “am pretty much done.”  He reached a hand up his neck, fingers raking into his thick hair.  Long and slick with water as it was, it drooped right down between his shoulder blades. He grimaced, looking at his hand, and then gave the most tremendous shake, black spikes whipping around his head as water flew off in all directions.

 

Hunched at Zack’s side and fastening his shoulder plate, Kunsel gasped and leapt back. A ridiculous amount of water flung from his friend and spattered all over the shirt of his fresh uniform.  Kunsel shut his eyes, bit his lip and breathed.  When he looked up, Zack was stood back from him, eyes and mouth wide as he’d realised his mistake, but the way he pressed his lips together afterwards suggested he was trying to hold back a laugh.  Dale was less restrained.  He was neatly outside of the splash zone, having gone to retrieve his sword from where it leant against the wall.  He turned his back in a half-hearted attempt to hide his rumbling chuckles.

 

“Forget Tseng,” Kunsel said, his eyes narrow and his tone deadly. “You had better put on your gloves, lace your boots, and get your ass in that chopper, otherwise I am gonna be the one that kills you.”

 

Zack pulled his feet together and lifted his head in a hasty version of their typical salute.  If he was trying to hide his grin, it wasn’t successful.  “Yes sir,” he yelped, dropping to his knees in a rush to comply.

Edited August 6, 2023 by SexualOddity

[solitaire-au]

It doesn’t have to be a different universe to Humanity; this could simply be set before Humanity takes place and his grenade allergy becomes apparent. It could even be a foreshadowing of the change in Zack’s sensitivity.

I love the way Dale and Kunsel take care of Zack. And it’s good to get a sense of how long Zack and Kunsel have known each other.

It was a nice touch that Dale managed to get someone to come drop off the lozenges and canteen to him with practically zero notice; it makes me wonder what kind of relationships or reputation he has with other people on the base. (Especially compared to someone like Zack who might be seen as infamous, rather than famous!)

And I liked the part where the menthol made Zack sneeze a bit, but his friends assumed the worst and were ready to pull the pin if he wasn’t combat ready! He really is a bit oblivious to how much they worry (and care!) about him!

And thank you for providing some description to what Dale and Kunsel look like. It helps to make them a bit more well-rounded.

The funny thing is, having checked the pics of Zack and Kunsel in their uniforms, I realised their boots are the zippered kind. (Not that it matters much!)

Anyway, I loved this story. What would be an especially amusing ending, if you cared to add an epilogue, is if on the way there Tseng scrutinises Zack to see if he was truly OK, and then one of the other two sneezed instead! But it’s not necessary; the story is fine as it is.

Anyway, did I mention how much I love this story! 💕 

[SexualOddity]

50 minutes ago, solitaire-au said:

It doesn’t have to be a different universe to Humanity; this could simply be set before Humanity takes place and his grenade allergy becomes apparent. It could even be a foreshadowing of the change in Zack’s sensitivity.

I love the way Dale and Kunsel take care of Zack. And it’s good to get a sense of how long Zack and Kunsel have known each other.

It was a nice touch that Dale managed to get someone to come drop off the lozenges and canteen to him with practically zero notice; it makes me wonder what kind of relationships or reputation he has with other people on the base. (Especially compared to someone like Zack who might be seen as infamous, rather than famous!)

And I liked the part where the menthol made Zack sneeze a bit, but his friends assumed the worst and were ready to pull the pin if he wasn’t combat ready! He really is a bit oblivious to how much they worry (and care!) about him!

And thank you for providing some description to what Dale and Kunsel look like. It helps to make them a bit more well-rounded.

The funny thing is, having checked the pics of Zack and Kunsel in their uniforms, I realised their boots are the zippered kind. (Not that it matters much!)

Anyway, I loved this story. What would be an especially amusing ending, if you cared to add an epilogue, is if on the way there Tseng scrutinises Zack to see if he was truly OK, and then one of the other two sneezed instead! But it’s not necessary; the story is fine as it is.

Anyway, did I mention how much I love this story! 💕 

Noooooooo!  Damn.  You are completely right about the boots.  I even used a picture for reference as well  🤦‍♀️😅  Sorry!  I clearly lack your eye for detail!

 

I think, with Humanity, it was important to me that the allergy and the injury made him see himself in a way that’s new and uncomfortable for him.  I probably play up his useless/disorganised side a bit too much (because I think it’s adorable) but he is also very competent/ confident in his job, and by this time in his career he does mostly have it together.  I think he would find it hard to get to grips with being someone who can’t always appear  in control of the situation.  I just feel like if crazy sneezing reactions have happened before it kind of lessens that whole thing of having to adjust to a new idea of who he is.  But then maybe I am getting way too serious about my internet fetish fanfic  😅  I do think I had him tell Mikaela that he’d never had a reaction like the one he had to the grenades though, so there is also that…

 

I don’t want to make any promises about an epilogue because it’s not something when I can immediately see how I would make it work (but my brain is also toast today so that won’t help) but I will mull on your suggestion and I’ll come back to it if I can come up to something that would be worthy of another instalment.  

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to make such a thoughtful comment and for all of your amazing help with the story.

[solitaire-au]

Ah, don’t worry about the boots. It’s no big deal.

In actuality, I think zippered boots for soldiers is a terrible idea because while it’s quicker to get them on, if only one of the teeth gets damaged or knocked out of alignment you’d quickly be in danger of the boot constantly coming undone or the boot falling off altogether. (The only combat boots I’ve ever seen with zips still have laces in the front and just a small zipper down the side, and they seem to be rare.)

So it was probably just an artistic decision on the part of the animators who wanted a particular look. Just like it makes no sense to give soldiers a short-sleeved turtleneck as part of their uniform! 😁 

Anyway, Zack possibly might not see this incident as an allergic reaction, especially if it was the only time he had a significant reaction to dust.

And it could well have been a vasomotor (physical irritation) reaction instead, particularly because Dale and Kunsel were also affected in the same way, just a lot less, because their exposure to the dust was a lot less than his. Although Zack probably wouldn’t have had the knowledge to articulate it that way.

But when he was in the barracks when they all had colds that time, he sneezed a lot more than the other soldiers did, even though his exposure to the virus was presumably the same. (Even Kunsel and Dale noticed that at the time.) So that could be a possible explanation for why it stood out in his mind when he was talking to Mikaela about his past experiences.

And he just may have been clueless enough not to realise that his cold was worse and went on for longer, because he not only didn’t rest like the others did, but he did way more physical activity than is healthy when battling a cold. You did imply in that story that Kunsel was frustrated at Zack for never attempting to rest properly whenever he got sick.

Anyway, just my thoughts.

Did I mention how much I 💗 this story? ☺️ 💕 

[SexualOddity]

15 minutes ago, solitaire-au said:

Ah, don’t worry about the boots. It’s no big deal.

In actuality, I think zippered boots for soldiers is a terrible idea because while it’s quicker to get them on, if only one of the teeth gets damaged or knocked out of alignment you’d quickly be in danger of the boot constantly coming undone or the boot falling off altogether. (The only combat boots I’ve ever seen with zips still have laces in the front and just a small zipper down the side, and they seem to be rare.)

So it was probably just an artistic decision on the part of the animators who wanted a particular look. Just like it makes no sense to give soldiers a short-sleeved turtleneck as part of their uniform! 😁 

Anyway, Zack possibly might not see this incident as an allergic reaction, especially if it was the only time he had a significant reaction to dust.

And it could well have been a vasomotor (physical irritation) reaction instead, particularly because Dale and Kunsel were also affected in the same way, just a lot less, because their exposure to the dust was a lot less than his. Although Zack probably wouldn’t have had the knowledge to articulate it that way.

But when he was in the barracks when they all had colds that time, he sneezed a lot more than the other soldiers did, even though his exposure to the virus was presumably the same. (Even Kunsel and Dale noticed that at the time.) So that could be a possible explanation for why it stood out in his mind when he was talking to Mikaela about his past experiences.

And he just may have been clueless enough not to realise that his cold was worse and went on for longer, because he not only didn’t rest like the others did, but he did way more physical activity than is healthy when battling a cold. You did imply in that story that Kunsel was frustrated at Zack for never attempting to rest properly whenever he got sick.

Anyway, just my thoughts.

Did I mention how much I 💗 this story? ☺️ 💕 

Ah yeah I like that.  Let’s blame the game designers 😅 My version can be the sensible alternative.

Actually, when I was writing Humanity, I was trying to figure out how I could injure him in a way that he would have to have a process of adjustment but that wouldn’t be so bad that he would basically spend the whole fic in the infirmary, and I came across a thread from writers of original fantasy stories discussing a similar dilemna and the response was ‘well just give them armour’ and obviously, you kinda stuck with what you’ve got in fanfiction, but it did make me realise that unless they’re gonna get hit in the shoulder their armour is pretty much useless.  I don’t know if you remember but there’s a line from Mikaela about having an argument with the person who designs their armour, and that came from that whole revelation.  I guess that’s computer games for you though - looking cool tops the priority list.

That does kinda make sense to me in terms of how this story could fit in with Humanity.  Thank you.  I guess it can work either way.  I did intend it to be a vasomotor reaction to begin with, but then every time I added an instalment I just ended up making him worse. 🙈

[solitaire-au]

On 8/9/2023 at 3:01 AM, SexualOddity said:

[…]

Actually, when I was writing Humanity, I was trying to figure out how I could injure him in a way that he would have to have a process of adjustment but that wouldn’t be so bad that he would basically spend the whole fic in the infirmary, and I came across a thread from writers of original fantasy stories discussing a similar dilemna and the response was ‘well just give them armour’ and obviously, you kinda stuck with what you’ve got in fanfiction, but it did make me realise that unless they’re gonna get hit in the shoulder their armour is pretty much useless.  I don’t know if you remember but there’s a line from Mikaela about having an argument with the person who designs their armour, and that came from that whole revelation.  I guess that’s computer games for you though - looking cool tops the priority list.

I have to admit I was surprised when I saw how little of their body their armour covers!

There’s an old RPG comic that pokes fun at this. It’s of a female warrior in the stereotypical “chain mail bikini armour” and she has several arrows sticking out of her, but only in the spots her armour covers, and she says to her friends “it’s a good thing I was wearing my armour!” 😄 

On 8/9/2023 at 3:01 AM, SexualOddity said:

That does kinda make sense to me in terms of how this story could fit in with Humanity.  Thank you.  I guess it can work either way.  I did intend it to be a vasomotor reaction to begin with, but then every time I added an instalment I just ended up making him worse. 🙈

Well, it makes sense. He was completely covered in dust for hours before he was able to shower and change, then tried to shake it out of his hair only for him to breathe it back in. Even someone with airways of steel would sneeze and cough in that situation.

[SexualOddity]

To be fair, as long as they had enough uninjured people to send into battle, I think ShinRa would probably care more about their SOLDIERs looking tough than actually being able to function.

 

That comic sounds awesome. There was an rpg comic that was really cool called Order of the Stick that did a similar thing with poking fun at rpg tropes. I haven't read that much of the comics (see previous comment re: not being very visual) but they made a board game of it that was so fun.