Female Quest for the Nekonomicon (F, 3/?)

[Blah!?]

And so, after a thousand years of never being able to get anything done, I have finally written something new. I think this has been a really fun little adventure story so far, fingers crossed I'll actually be able to finish it lol. I hope you like catgirls.

 

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Glasses, hat, jacket, shoulder bag. Skasa quickly patted herself down for the third time as she made her way toward the edge of the slums, still not entirely convinced that she had everything she needed. Feeling her visitation slip in her pocket was enough to keep her going, however, and soon the labyrinth of wooden hovels began to give way to the brick and mortar of Galewatch’s upper city. Skasa had been to the surface a handful of times before, and it seemed not much had changed. Clean streets, clean people, and dirty looks. Nothing she didn’t expect.

 

Skasa kept her head down as she journeyed to the Galewatch Central Library. The disdainful stares became less frequent once she’d progressed far enough that passersby couldn’t immediately tell she’d come from below, and with a bit of weight off her shoulders, Skasa’s confidence began to swell. Someone like her could only obtain a permit to use the upper city’s facilities once a month if they were lucky, so if her research was to continue, she’d have to make the most of this red letter day.

 

Following the signs for foreign visitors, Skasa stepped through the door at the side of the library with a smile on her face. Mercifully there was no line leading up to the front desk, and the receptionist met Skasa’s cheerful expression with one of her own.

 

“Hello, dear! How may I help you this morning?” the middle aged woman greeted, hands folded on top of a thick ledger. Skasa’s smile remained bright as ever, even as she wordlessly stumbled over herself for a moment.

 

“Just… Hoping to check out the archives!” she replied, digging into her pocket. “Here’s my visitation permit.”

 

“Wonderful, thank you,” said the receptionist as she took the slip of paper. “May I have your name?”

 

“Skasa. Um. Skasa Puddingworth.”

 

The welcoming atmosphere turned cold in an instant. Skasa could sense the rising tension even before the receptionist looked back to her, her gaze now hollow and suspicious.

 

“Are you a cat?” she asked, lips curling ever so slightly as though the words left a bad taste in her mouth. Skasa’s throat tightened and she took a nervous gulp.

 

“Y-yes, ma’am. I’m a nekomi.”

 

The receptionist sighed impatiently and gestured vaguely in the direction of Skasa’s face.

 

“I’m sure you know it’s a violation to attempt to conceal your identity.”

 

Skasa’s head tilted in confusion before sudden realization washed over her.

 

“Oh! I’m sorry, I wasn’t-”

 

Her hand flew up to her newsboy cap and yanked it from her short brown hair. A pair of pointed feline ears flicked up where the hat had just been, and they quickly drooped as the receptionist’s disgust only grew more palpable.

 

“Your visitation is denied.”

 

Skasa’s jaw dropped. Before she could stop herself, she rushed forward and leaned over the desk, palms pressing down on the edge.

 

“Please, ma’am! I’ve been trying to get all of this together for over a month. Please just let me look around the library, only for a little while. I won’t cause any trouble.”

 

The receptionist didn’t look up as she retrieved a stamp from inside a drawer and slammed its red mark down on Skasa’s permit. She finally glowered at the desperate patron as she peeled the slip of paper off her desk and flung it apathetically off the side.

 

“Then you can try again next month. If you want to be accepted, don’t break the rules. Now, shoo.”

 

Skasa clutched her hat to her chest, crumpling it in both hands. Something welled up inside her, but whether it was determination, defiance, or despair, she didn’t know. Holding in a noise somewhere between a scream and a sob, she bent over to retrieve her discarded permission slip and somehow managed to drag herself out the door and into the neighboring alleyway.

 

The moment Skasa was out of sight, she sank to the ground and let out a tearful sob. Her life’s work just hit a dead end, all because she’d decided to wear the same hat she wore every day. There was another library near to where she lived in the slums, but with its collapsing roof and nonexistent staff, Skasa was sure there was little more she could learn from it. She pulled her knees up to her chin and covered her face with both hands, nudging her large, round glasses up onto her forehead. Why did everything have to be so-

 

Skasa’s ears suddenly perked up. The unmistakable sound of a stack of books being dropped onto a table came from somewhere behind her. Fixing her glasses and tilting her head back, she gazed at a window set into the wall, just above average pedestrian height. Skasa blinked as the gears in her head began to turn, and before long she managed to push her sorrow to the side and spring to her feet.

 

The dumpster Skasa had used to hide herself from the street made for a perfect stepping stone up to the window. After a quick glance down the alley to make sure no one was watching, she clambered up as quietly as she could. Skasa’s tail gradually uncoiled from around her right leg and began to peek out from under her skirt as she cautiously peered through the window. Spotting someone inside the room, Skasa ducked down for a few more seconds, waiting for the sound of a door closing. Then, she slowly rose back up for a better look.

 

A cozy, warmly-lit reading room waited through the window. The telltale stack of books stood on a table in the center, and a few chairs were set around the remainder of the space. Skasa could have swooned, but instead she settled for emitting a gentle purr. Giving herself a reassuring nod, she briefly hid behind the dumpster once more, replaced her hat, and removed her jacket in the hopes that even a minor change of outfit might make her less recognizable.Skasa closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath, and then she silently slid through the window.

 

Skasa’s boots touched down on the reading room floor with barely a sound. She remained hunched over as she crept toward the door, ready to dart out of sight if it began to open. Her tail receded back up to hide underneath her skirt once more as she leaned in to listen for footsteps at the keyhole, and once she was reasonably sure that the way was clear, she swiftly pulled the door open, spun around between its edge and the frame, and then shut it behind her as quietly as she could.

 

It took a great deal of willpower for Skasa to keep from gawking at the library’s interior in sheer awe. She quickly but casually strode away from the reading room and disappeared between two bookshelves, where she allowed herself a great big smile while she excitedly hopped from one foot to the other. Then, she softly cleared her throat, pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, and began to search for her quarry.

 

The Galewatch Central Library was organized similarly to its dilapidated counterpart in the slums, so it didn’t take long for Skasa to get herself on the trail. The archives were far to the rear of the building, and fortunately most of the other visitors remained closer to the front. Once she arrived at a row of expedition logs, Skasa slid slowly along the shelf and checked the title of each and every tome. A light haze of dust hung in the air, gradually making its way into Skasa’s long, gently curved nostrils with each breath, but in her concentration she hardly seemed to notice beyond giving a casual rub back and forth under her nose.

 

Throughout all her years of research into the subject, perhaps the most important thing Skasa had gleaned was that records of nekomi history were incredibly hard to come by. The vast majority of remaining knowledge was passed down through oral tradition, and otherwise it only seemed to exist as a chapter or two in various textbooks detailing how their doomed, primitive society had been rescued and civilized by the humans and sylvs. Digging too deeply was sure to bring trouble, but Skasa had learned how to do it carefully. One couldn’t simply ask for a nekomi almanac. Instead, the occasional nugget of truth could be unearthed from reading between the lines in other approved manuscripts.

 

Skasa’s stocky, upturned nose wriggled and scrunched as the dusty air continued to torment her nostrils. This time she became more conscious of the tickle, giving a slow, deliberate scrub with an outstretched index finger. But, before distraction could fully take hold, her eyes fell across exactly what she’d been searching for. The journal of Arline Lavender. Skasa carefully tipped the thick, leatherbound book away from the shelf, holding it with a reverence normally reserved for new pairs of glasses and oatmeal cookies. To many, Arline Lavender was just one of many heroes of the age of exploration, but Skasa’s interest in her writings was singular. If her research was accurate, tracing Lavender’s travels could lead her to the last bastion of nekomi civilization, thought only to be a legend even by most nekomi themselves.

 

Arline Lavender had been dead for hundreds of years, so this copy of her journal must have been a reproduction. Even still, its pages creaked as though they were about to shatter when Skasa slowly pried back the cover. Unfortunately for the intrepid researcher, doing so also released a cloud of dust directly at her face, quickly rising to be inhaled by her waiting nostrils. She barely had time to look at the cover page before her eyes clenched shut of their own accord and…

 

“hih!”

 

A tiny but urgent whisper escaped Skasa’s lips even before she realized she needed to sneeze. At first she felt content to simply let it out, but after a split second, she froze. She was in the Galewatch upper city now, and trespassing, no less. The last thing she wanted to do was draw any attention to herself.

 

“hh… hhHhh-!”

 

Skasa held her fingers flat and pressed them under her nostrils, still clutching the journal in her other hand. The swirling wisps of dust were trapped in her nose, but what else could she do? If she held out long enough, surely she would acclimate to the tickly feeling.

 

“ih-hih…! … Phew…”

 

The sharp need to sneeze gradually faded to a dull tingle. Skasa delicately placed her hand on her chest and sighed with relief. She looked up and down the row of books, pleased that she’d managed to go unnoticed. But, just as she turned her attention back to the journal…

 

“hhHhhhHHH-! Heszzsh!”

 

Skasa doubled over with a loud, spluttery sneeze, lightly misting the cover page of the tome. She clumsily clapped a hand to her mouth as soon as she straightened up, her glasses unevenly slipping down her nose, and then all she could do was shrink in on herself and lament her misfortune as her ears picked up the unmistakable sounds of commotion drawing ever closer. Stealing the journal hadn’t been a part of the plan when Skasa woke up this morning, but given how nothing else had gone according to plan, some more improvisation couldn’t hurt.

 

Stuffing the journal into her shoulder bag, Skasa took off down the row. Her head bobbed with another “ehShhz!” as she emerged from between the bookshelves, and she might have stumbled to a halt if a sudden cry of “You there! Stop!” didn’t send her shooting into the air with a yelp. Abandoning any pretense of stealth, Skasa sprinted back to the reading room from whence she came. Rapid footfalls closed in all around her, but she was quick enough to slip through the door and leap out the window before anyone could catch her.

 

Skasa bent over to retrieve her jacket as she landed beside the dumpster in the alley. Perhaps a lapse in judgment, but she didn’t exactly have the luxury of calm, rational thought at the moment. Even worse, she barely had time to stand up before the lingering dust tickled her nose yet again.

 

“eh… heh…! HEEshzs!”

 

Her mind fatigued and fuzzy, Skasa decided to take a moment and frantically rub her finger back and forth under her nose before doing something more practical, such as making any sort of escape. She was only broken out of her stupor by a familiar voice shouting “There she is!” Skasa’s head snapped up to see the library receptionist pointing at her from the street, and a tall, armored guard standing beside her. She took an exhausted step in the other direction, but before she could even turn around, two arms hooked under her shoulders and began to haul her out of the alley, the tips of her feet trailing on the ground.

 

Skasa’s glasses gradually slipped as she was dragged toward the guard captain, and they barely clung to the very tip of her nose when she was set in front of him. The receptionist ripped the hat from her head to reveal her ears, but all Skasa could manage in response was a pitiful sniff. The guards stared down at her with a gaze she knew all too well. She didn’t feel hatred from them so much as she could sense that they didn’t see her as a person to begin with.

 

“Skasa P- Pud… Puddingworth?” the lead guard began, performatively struggling with his captive’s name as he took a step forward. “You are hereby charged with trespassing, concealing social identifiers, resisting arrest, and three counts of-”

 

“hhHhh-hhShhzz!!”

 

“Four counts of violating the ban on public sneezing. Have you anything to say in your defense?”

 

Still being held up by her shoulders, Skasa sniffed harshly and scrunched her nose around in a circle.

 

“Um… Can I have a tissue?”

 

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Thanks for reading! I have chapter 2 written already but I would kinda like to edit it some more, plus there's the whole rest of the thing to worry about. Any and all feedback is welcome as always, and I hope you enjoyed!

[Hovercuke]

So exciting to see a new story from you! And what a fantastic twist at the end! Can’t wait to see what else you’ve got up your sleeve

[NoV]

Great to see you back to the world of writing sneezefics @Blah!? I have always enjoyed your fics and have missed your work being on the forum!

[KungFuKok]

I’ve always enjoyed your skill for world building, you manage to suck me in to the world of practically every story you’ve written, even ones I wouldn’t normally be interested in. For this story specifically, I really like that you established that the cat people are looked down upon and discriminated against in this particular society. It’s just little things like that that always elevate your stories. Great work. 

[poiub]

Love this, actually a genuinely great piece of writing! Can't wait for chapter 2!

[Blah!?]

Thanks so much for the comments everyone, I'm glad you're enjoying this! I'm having a lot of fun with it too, and I hope I can keep it up.

On 8/14/2023 at 4:24 AM, KungFuKok said:

I’ve always enjoyed your skill for world building, you manage to suck me in to the world of practically every story you’ve written

This means a lot, honestly I think this is all I could hope for. I love coming up with these sorts of settings and adventure stories, even if it feels like I'm only able to turn them into something real once in a blue moon. I've had this particular little world cooking for a long time, and it took me until  pretty darn recently to figure out how to actually get it going.

Chapter 2

Skasa could not, in fact, have a tissue. All she got was a rough sack shoved down over her head, and then more dragging. Lots of dragging. Up and down various sets of stairs, toes skimming a few puddles, and through more doors than she could count. When the bag was finally removed, Skasa barely had time to recognize that she was in front of a jail cell before she was tossed head over heels through the open gate. She let out a guttural “doomph!” as she landed flat on her face, glasses skittering across the rough stone floor, and she simply lay on the ground like a corpse while the bars were slammed shut and locked behind her.

 

“Alright cat, you know the drill,” came the voice of a guard, different from any of the ones that had brought her here. “Arbitrators will assess a fine for each of your charges, which you may either pay in full, or you will be assigned labor until your criminal debt is settled. Your personal effects have been confiscated as evidence, and they may be returned to you upon your release. If the arbitrators deem you innocent, then you’re free to go, I guess.”

 

Skasa gave no response, at least until the jailer clanged his baton against one of the bars, prompting a little twitch and yelp in shock. Once the sound of footsteps faded, Skasa curled into a ball for a moment before rolling onto her back. Her hat, jacket, and bag had all been taken, and she could only assume the guards would find the journal as well, adding another charge to her list. Skasa sat up after reaching above her head to retrieve her glasses, at which point it became inescapably clear that the jail cell was just as dusty as the back corner of the library. The piles of straw at the edges of the cell only made matters worse, the pungent aroma tickling Skasa’s nostrils until she just had to… to…

 

“hhHhhHHH-! ihSHhzz!”

 

“Gesundheit.”

 

An unexpected voice made Skasa jump in surprise. She slipped her glasses back on, noticing that the left lens had cracked slightly, and the voice had most likely come from another cell, diagonally across from her. The outline of an unknown figure was visible sitting against the wall, but from this angle Skasa couldn’t make out any detail. She tried to speak up, but…

 

“Thaah… Th-thank… Heszzsh!”

 

“They must’ve got you for sneezing, huh? That’s rough.”

 

“They didn’t get me for sneezing,” Skasa grumbled, offended at the suggestion that she’d been taken in for such an unimpressive crime, but also presenting the self-defeating image of pouting, blushing, and scrubbing a finger back and forth under her tickly nose all at once. The other prisoner gave an amused snort.

 

“Well, what are you in for then?”

 

Skasa sighed and crumpled back to the ground, briefly recoiling with a whispered “ow!” when her head hit the floor.

 

“Is this some kind of trick to get me to confess?”

 

Another light chuckle.

 

“You’re smarter than you look, foureyes.”

 

Skasa lifted her head with a scowl, but from her vantage point on the floor she could see even less of her fellow detainee.

 

“Okay, what about you?”

 

Finally the other prisoner began to stand, and Skasa properly righted herself for a better look.

 

“Today? Just a simple tavern brawl.”

 

The silhouette of a tall nekomi lady approached the bars, prompting Skasa’s own feline ears to flick up. Her right eye was a deep blue and half-lidded as part of her self-assured grin, while the other was hidden from view by a large patch that covered much of the left side of her face, and the eyepatch itself was mostly concealed behind the asymmetrical bangs of the woman’s stark black hair. A long, straight, and high-bridged nose gave her a decidedly regal air despite her disheveled appearance. While Skasa couldn’t immediately be sure of her identity, she certainly presented a very particular image.

 

“But, in the past I’ve been detained for all manner of debauchery, rabble rousing, and a lifetime of good old fashioned piracy.”

 

Skasa rose to her feet, adjusted her glasses, and moved as close as she could within the confines of her cell. Her mouth opened and closed without a word, then she awkwardly cleared her throat before continuing.

 

“Sorry if this is a stupid question, but, um… Are you Captain Southpaw?”

 

The other prisoner closed her eye, took a step back, and gave an exaggerated curtsey.

 

“Aye, a pleasure.”

 

“I’ve read a lot about you,” Skasa said. She paused to rub back and forth under her still-tickly nose, allowing Southpaw a moment to laugh softly.

 

“Have you now? Only bad things, I hope.”

 

“Almost everyone in the slums has heard of you, a-and the dread crew of the Bastet. You… Probably already knew that, though. I… I… hh-hih-! hhSHhzz!!”

 

Southpaw gave a warm smile as Skasa sneezed yet again.

 

“Gesundheit.”

 

“Thanks. I think I might be… ih… ehszzsh!! Allergic to hay.”

 

“I wish you fair winds and fresh air, but you must understand you’re not doing much to convince me you weren’t arrested simply for sneezing too much.”

 

“I wasn’t!” Skasa protested, blushing all over again. “Well, not only…”

 

She sighed, dejectedly rubbing her nose.

 

“I… Snuck into the Central Library.”

 

“Now you’re talking my language,” chuckled Southpaw, her one unobscured eyebrow perking up.

 

“I’ve been, uh…” Skasa paused, eyeing the door leading out of the jail before elaborating. Even though it was closed and she couldn’t see any sign of guard activity, she still decided to lower her voice. “I’ve been researching nekomi history. We don’t exactly have a lot of books in the slums, so despite everyone I know telling me this was a terrible idea, I thought I’d have to come to the upper city to learn more. I wanted to find the journal of Arline Lavender…”

 

Southpaw shrugged. “Never heard of him.”

 

“Her. I just remembered one offhanded mention of her last expedition, that no one knew where she’d gone, or even that she’d gone anywhere at all until someone happened to come across her journal. I couldn’t find anything in our run-down excuse for a library, even though we have plenty of other explorers’ logs. Then I asked around at all the inns and taverns I could get myself to, and every now and then I’d talk to someone who’d also heard of Arline Lavender’s last, lost expedition. For now it’s just a hunch, but I think she might have…”

 

The pirate shifted after a prolonged silence, raising her eyebrow again.

 

“The suspense is killing me, foureyes.”

 

“HEEshhzzs!!”

 

Skasa folded forward with a sneeze so sudden it almost made Southpaw jump. She was clearly embarrassed, but she quickly straightened and forged ahead.

 

“Sorry. Um. I think she might have found Nekopolis. The final nekomi city-state that was never colonized. Where the Nekomancer Order supposedly consolidated the history of the known world in the Nekonomicon-”

 

“Now that I have heard of,” Southpaw interjected. “Searched for it myself a few times, not that I had any idea where to even start. You really think it exists?”

 

Skasa closed her eyes and wrapped her fingers around one of the bars before her. After a deep breath, she stared past her newfound confidant, through the stone wall behind her, and off at something far, far in the distance.

 

“I hope so.”

 

Her wistful expression soon turned tearful. Skasa found herself gripping her cell door with both hands and her head hung low as she took in a stuttery gasp.

 

“I… I tried to do it right. They said to follow the rules… I worked for months to get a visitation permit to the upper city.”

 

Skasa’s whole body tensed, rattling the door to her cell lightly as she continued to squeeze two of its bars.

 

“I just wore a hat. I just wanted to read the damn journal, I wasn’t going to steal it. But I…”

 

With a futile whimper, Skasa shook the bars again, harder this time. The noise seemed to finally attract some attention, as a moment later the prison door burst open and the jailer stormed in, club already tight in his hand.

 

“Stop all that racket!” he bellowed. Skasa immediately released the bars and backed away, tail literally between her legs. The guard continued forward, leveling his club at the prisoner.

 

“That your attempt at an escape? Make any more noise and you’ll break more than your bloody glasses.”

 

A low, smug laugh made Skasa’s drooping ears perk up.

 

“Escape? Now there’s an idea.”

 

The guard whirled around to face Captain Southpaw as she let off another sultry chuckle.

 

“Quiet, cat. You’re next.”

 

Ignoring the man, she instead looked across the way at Skasa.

 

“You ever break out of prison before?”

 

The researcher’s stunned, fearful expression remained unchanged. Southpaw continued unperturbed.

 

“Eh, don’t answer that. First time for everything. Odds are, through that door there’s going to be a big pile of all the ‘evidence’ they’ve confiscated from nekomi recently. Dig through that and find your things.”

 

“And what makes you think you’ll be going anywhere? No damn cat’s getting out of here on my watch!”

 

Southpaw held up a finger at the guard as if to shush him, and she continued without missing a beat.

 

“Don’t dawdle, it’s much easier to replace your possessions than your life. After that, don’t worry about the rest. Just follow me.”

 

“You won’t have nothing to worry about when you’re drooling on the bloody floor! Now shut-”

 

When the jailer swung his club at Southpaw’s cell, her hand shot out from between the bars to catch it. She then threw her weight back, pulling his arm through and pinning him against the outside of the door. He was stunned only for a brief moment, but that was all the pirate needed to casually nudge his unstrapped helmet off of his head and grab him by the collar. She pushed him away to gain a bit of distance, and then she sharply wrenched her arm back and cracked the guard’s unprotected forehead against the bars. Skasa looked on in silence as Southpaw repeated the process twice, thrice, and a fourth time until the man finally lost consciousness and slumped to the ground.

 

The pirate immediately set about retrieving the keys from the jailer’s belt. Meanwhile, Skasa was so taken aback that she too simply fell over. A bit of jangling and clattering later, both cells were unlocked. Skasa managed to push herself up onto her elbows, but words continued to evade her as Southpaw approached.

 

“Alright, foureyes, time to make a choice. The way I see it, you’ve got two options. You can either follow the rules and stay here, probably for the rest of your life, or you can seize your fate with your own hands. I’ll be getting out of here one way or the other, doesn’t much matter to me. So, what’ll it be? Prisoner, or pirate?”

 

Skasa blinked, her thoughts racing. Part of her felt as though she’d already decided, but could she really…? Southpaw extending a hand was almost enough to break her out of her trance, except for…

 

“hhHhhHHH-! hiSHHhz!!”

 

“Gesundheit.”

 

“Gnuh, thank you.”

 

Oblivious to the fact that she’d just sneezed into her palm, Skasa firmly took Southpaw’s hand. The pirate’s smirk faltered ever so slightly, but nevertheless she pulled her compatriot to her feet and immediately began to head for the exit. She wiped her hand on her shirt, and then she pulled the loose door the rest of the way open. On the other side was a small guard barracks, and sure enough one corner was occupied by a heap of discarded belongings of all sorts.

 

Skasa immediately spotted her hat close to the top of the mound. She breathed a small sigh of relief as she fit her newsboy cap back on her head, and then she began to search for her jacket and bag. But, even digging to the bottom of the pile, she couldn’t find them. She couldn’t help but grow distracted by the sheer variety of things. No one else was currently being held in the jail. Where had the owners of the rest of this menagerie gone?

 

“Have you seen my…?” Skasa began, looking up from the pile after shaking her head. She spotted Southpaw at the other side of the room, wordlessly beckoning her over to a small table. Skasa approached, casually rubbing back and forth under her nose, and she caught sight of her bag at the end of the table. Her jacket was still nowhere to be found, but it slipped from Skasa’s mind as she checked inside the satchel to see if the copy of the journal was still there. Miraculously the guards hadn’t removed it, so she simply resolved to get a new jacket and hung the bag across her torso.

 

Meanwhile, Southpaw was following none of her own advice, slowly and meticulously making her way down the length of the table one item at a time. A belt with an attached scabbard, complete with the sword still inside. Skasa could only assume it belonged to the pirate; the intricate pattern of gilded wire protecting the sword’s hilt certainly fit her image. A long, dark coat with red trim and golden epaulets. Southpaw swirled it around her shoulders like a cape, letting the empty sleeves dangle beside her arms. And finally, a wide-brimmed cavalier hat with two holes at the band to allow a pair of vertically-inclined ears to poke through.

 

“You look… Nice,” blurted Skasa, wondering if she should have said anything at all. Southpaw gave a deep bow, her fluffy black tail finding its way out the back of her coat. Before Skasa could ask what they were supposed to do next, another door opposite the jail burst open and a trio of armed and armored guards charged in, yelling all manner of obscenities. One shouted at the nekomi to lay on the ground, another to go back to their cells, and the third explained in no uncertain terms that they were about to be killed. Southpaw instantly turned to face them, drawing her sword with her left hand and giving the broad blade a graceful swish through the air. The four combatants remained in a faceoff while Skasa gripped the strap of her shoulder bag with both hands and tried not to panic.

 

“You, um… You do have a plan for this, right?” she eventually mumbled, equally tempted to ask if the guards ever intended to attack either.

 

“Worry not, my bespectacled friend,” Southpaw replied, giving a smirk that provided no reassurance whatsoever. “The way forward shall present itself forthwith.”

 

“That wasn’t a… W-wasn’t a… Ah…”

 

Before Skasa could manage a response, yet another bothersome tickle began to creep into the back of her nose. No one paid her any mind, even the guards were too caught up in their bloodlust to notice the opportunity to charge her with another illegal public sneeze. Finally Skasa threw back her head, her long, curved nostrils flaring wildly, and…

 

“hhHhhh-HYEESHhzzs!!!”

 

At the exact same moment as Skasa’s sneeze, the stone wall behind the guards exploded. All three of them were blown off their feet, while the two nekomi were simply showered with dirt and debris. Southpaw took the still-dazed Skasa by the hand and pulled her across the barracks, stepping over their felled opponents to stare out the newly-opened window.

 

“Toffee! Where in the blazes have you been!?” the pirate shouted, yanking Skasa out of her trance. She continued blearily rubbing her fingers back and forth under her nose, and when her eyes fluttered open, Skasa shrieked at what she saw. The destroyed wall gave way to a sheer drop down the side of a tower. Over the course of all the sack-on-head dragging from the library, Skasa never fully realized just how far up she’d been carried. Once she managed to wrench her eyes away from the distant ground below, she saw a small skiff hovering just on the side of the wall, gradually inching closer. The figure at the controls gave no reaction to Southpaw’s griping, if they could hear her to begin with.

 

“Can you make that jump?” asked the captain, clapping Skasa on the back. After briefly looking back down at the gap between the wall and the boat, Skasa frantically shook her head in response.

 

“Alright, let me help!”

 

The next thing Skasa knew, she found herself being hoisted off the ground by the back of her shirt and skirt. Before she could even scream in protest, Southpaw firmly hurled her across the way. A shrill “EEE-YAAAAH!!!” tore from Skasa’s throat as she sailed through the air, ending abruptly as she thudded onto the deck of the skiff. She barely had time to roll onto her back before Southpaw touched down beside her, sheathing her sword with her left hand while she held on to the brim of her hat with her right.

 

“You know, foureyes, I never did ask your name!” she laughed, raising her voice above the wind and the hum of the skiff’s engine. Skasa blinked, staring vacantly up at the sky. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before she finally mustered a response.

 

“Skasa. Skasa Puddingworth.”

“Well, Skasa Puddingworth, welcome to the dread crew of the Bastet!”

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Thanks again for reading, and as always I hope you enjoyed. With any luck I'll be able to keep this going in a timely fashion.

[poiub]

I'm so curious, I gotta know why sneezing is illegal 😂

[Blah!?]

@poiub To be honest I haven't decided if I'm going to work an explanation into the story yet lol. Though I'm sure it'll come up again, it's inevitable.

Chapter 3

Alarm bells sounded from the guard tower, but they steadily faded into the distance as the skiff puttered away. Skasa continued to lay on the deck and stare blankly at the sky, partly because of sensory overload, and partly because she was afraid to try to stand up on a moving boat. What a cruel fate it would be to escape from prison, fly for the first time, and then unceremoniously fall to her death.

 

“Hey. Still in one piece down there, foureyes?” inquired Southpaw, smiling down at her fellow fugitive. Skasa’s eyes briefly flicked over to the captain before returning to the endless blue.

 

“My life is different now,” she droned, not entirely aware that she’d spoken or been spoken to.

 

“Believe me, you ain’t seen nothing yet. First thing’s first, you’d best work on getting your sky legs.”

 

Southpaw hauled the unresponsive researcher up to her feet, holding her in place until she looked like she’d be able to stand on her own. Once the captain released her shirt, Skasa’s slack face scrunched up tightly and…

 

“hehSHhhz!!”

 

“Gesund-”

 

Skasa took a clumsy step back in an attempt to steady herself after sneezing, but her foot caught on the edge of the skiff and she tumbled right over the side. Fortunately the little boat had just touched down on the deck of a much larger airship, so Skasa managed to land in a heap in relative safety.

 

“Ow.”

 

Despite still being quite frazzled, she managed to stagger back to her feet. Leaning against the docked skiff, Skasa watched as whoever had just been piloting it jogged away toward the rear of the airship, though she still wasn’t able to get a good look at them. Fortunately, Southpaw arrived at the same time, putting an arm around Skasa’s shoulder and leading her off in the same direction.

 

“Once more for posterity, welcome aboard the Bastet. Let me give you the grand tour, and introduce you to the crew.”

 

Skasa pushed her skewed glasses up the bridge of her nose and hobbled along.

 

“Um. Sure.”

 

Southpaw walked her guest up a set of stairs to a raised deck at the ship’s aft. The wheel and a variety of other controls dominated the platform, but Skasa’s eyes were drawn to the sylvan figure who stood beside them. Her face was framed by a squared bob of silvery-blue hair, remarkably well maintained for a pirate and only interrupted by the pointed tips of her ears. A pair of violet eyes gazed ahead at the horizon; if she ever took even a cursory glance at the new passenger, Skasa didn’t notice.

 

“This is Toffee, my first mate,” Southpaw introduced. She clapped the sylv on the shoulder and gave her a little shake, to which Toffee also did not react.

 

“Hi. Hello. My name’s Skasa Puddingworth,” mumbled the bespectacled nekomi. Now that her adrenaline was wearing off, she was feeling awfully shy. A prolonged silence sandwiched between the two pirates made her feel like she was liable to curl up and implode at any moment. Eventually Skasa managed to straighten up a bit and turn to Southpaw.

 

“Is… Are there more?”

 

The captain smiled and shook her head.

 

“That’s all.”

 

It took Skasa a few pained seconds to process what she’d just heard. She looked out over the deck of the Bastet, taking note of two short masts and all manner of rigging, but no sailors. Eventually her mouth fell open of its own accord, and even after shaking her head, all she could do was gawk at her rescuer.

 

“That’s all?”

 

“Aye.”

 

“Your dread crew is two people?”

 

Southpaw shrugged.

 

“There were more last evening,” she said, to which Toffee added a stoic nod. “Sometimes, what you see is what you get.”

 

Skasa blinked. Her mouth opened and closed a few times, and then she wordlessly stumbled away toward the rear of the deck. Despite the gentle sway of the ship, once she found her footing, she was able to make her way aft just fine. The wobbling only started once the landscape below came into view, at which point Skasa had to cling to the railing to keep from falling flat on her butt.

 

Galewatch had never looked so huge and so tiny all at the same time. Its shingled roofs and tall smokestacks stretched on for miles, yet Skasa felt like she could reach out and grab the entire place in one hand. Farther still, the red brick gave way to a veritable sea of wooden shacks. To think Skasa had crawled her way up from those slums earlier that very morning. A dozen other airships drifted across the sky in the distance, but the world seemed almost empty in a way Skasa had never felt before.

 

Upon hearing a few creaking footsteps approaching from behind, Skasa sullenly glanced over her shoulder. Southpaw stood a few paces back, one hand rested on her hip. Her face still wore that same infuriating grin as always, but she seemed more… Sincere? Approachable? Skasa wasn’t quite sure what she felt. With a sigh, she turned away to watch that infinite horizon once more.

 

“I’m sorry things haven’t turned out quite as you’d hoped,” said the captain, maintaining her distance. A moment passed in silence before Skasa finally responded.

 

“They never do,” she mumbled. “That’s just life, I suppose.”

 

“Aye, sometimes it is.”

 

Southpaw approached and leaned back against the ship’s railing beside Skasa.

 

“At times like this, all you can do is decide what to do next.”

 

Skasa’s hands twitched in a tiny gesture of futility.

 

“Such as…?”

 

“To my knowledge you didn’t kill anyone, did you?”

 

Skasa shook her head, a bit surprised by the question.

 

“Be that the case, you could just go home. Stay in the slums and keep your head down for a month or two and no one in the upper city will remember who you are. Long as you didn’t murder a human or cross someone wealthy, they won’t bother keeping a record of someone like yourself. So, you could go home, and go back to your old life.”

 

Giving no response, Skasa gazed out at the swiftly disappearing city. Southpaw rolled her hip against the railing, turning toward her passenger.

 

“But, if you’ll forgive my presumptiveness… You don’t seem like you want to go home.”

 

Skasa’s slouch straightened almost immediately and she pressed the side of a fist against the rail.

 

“I wanted to do this so things would be different,” she muttered through gritted teeth. “So we… So everyone would know we didn’t just crawl out of the filth one day. So people would know our lives are worth something, and we deserve more than the scraps that-”

 

Locking eyes with Southpaw, Skasa instantly became aware of her outburst. Her bravado vanished and she shakily gripped the railing after tapping it with her fist. The captain gave a sudden “Ha!” that made Skasa jump.

 

“There she is. Now tell me, what do you want to do?”

 

After a deep breath and a slow, calm exhale, Skasa gathered herself and looked back at Southpaw. Her lip wobbled slightly in her continued nervousness, but it almost looked like a grin.

 

“I’m going to find the Nekonomicon.”

 

Southpaw’s eyebrow popped up.

 

“Oh, are you?”

 

Skasa nodded solemnly.

 

“Yes. I mean, aye. I mean… hih… hhshhz!!”

 

“Gesundheit,” chuckled the captain, clapping a hand to Skasa’s shoulder. “We’re a mile in the air and you’ve still got those allergies, that is unfortunate.”

 

Skasa nodded with a pitiful sniff, and she allowed Southpaw to lead her away from the aft of the Bastet. They walked right past Toffee, who again gave no acknowledgement of any kind, and then their pace slowed somewhat as they began to descend a staircase leading below deck. Skasa immediately felt better without the chilly wind up above trying to push her in every direction, but she still feared that she might sneeze again at any moment.

 

“Here, you look like you could use these,” said Southpaw, suddenly thrusting an entire box of tissues into Skasa’s arms. The bewildered archaeologist hugged it to her chest like a dear stuffed animal, using one hand to pluck a single soft paper square from the package. She’d been aching to blow her nose ever since the dust in the library, so she couldn’t resist stopping at the landing and trumpeting until her tickly sinuses were satisfied.

 

“Thanks, I needed that,” Skasa wheezed, gently wiping her used tissue across her nostrils. Captain Southpaw’s grin took on that unexpected sincerity once more.

 

“Alright, foureyes, how’s about I show you where you can get some rest?” she offered, resting a hand on her hip. Skasa pressed her tissue against the underside of her nose, narrowing her eyes at the pirate.

 

“I told you my name and you’re still going to call me ‘foureyes’?”

 

“Any good pirate needs a nickname.”

 

“And mine is foureyes?”

 

“Until I think of a better one, aye.”

 

Sniffing again, Skasa glanced back at the stairs behind her.

 

“Well, what’s Toffee’s name?”

 

“Toffee.”

 

Skasa slowly closed her eyes and took a deep breath. But, before she could let out a sigh, her chest gave a sudden heave, and…

 

“heSHhzzs!!”

 

“Gesundheit.”

 

“I think you’re right, I need a nap.”

 

Putting any further teasing on hold, Southpaw led Skasa down the corridor and pushed open a door off to one side. All things considered, the Bastet was much nicer, and much cleaner, than Skasa would have expected of a pirate vessel. Instead of an open hold full of flimsy hammocks, she found a private cabin with a cot, chair, and table. Luxury it was not, but it was surely a step above what she had at home.

 

“Get some sleep, foureyes. You’ve had quite a busy day.”

 

Skasa gave no response as she lumbered into the cabin. She haphazardly dropped her tissue box onto the table in the middle of the room, and then she fell face-first onto the mattress. It was rough and lumpy, and yet Skasa felt as though she could completely disappear into it, never to be seen again.

 

A moment after the door swung shut, Skasa shot up on the bed. Tired as she was, she wouldn’t find the Nekonomicon by sleeping. Clumsily swinging herself around from the cot to the chair, she set her shoulder bag on the table and retrieved the journal from inside. Skasa pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose and ran a hand across the book’s cover, fingertips tracing the embossed letters.

 

The Expeditions of Arline Lavender, Volumes One through Seven.

 

Opening the book once again released a cloud of dust into the air. Even though it was thinner than when Skasa had first discovered it in the library, it still prompted a sudden “heh-shhzs!” from the archaeologist. One hand drifted over to the tissue box, feeling around for it as her eyes refused to leave the journal, and eventually it returned with some relief for Skasa’s stuffy nose.

 

A mound of soggy tissues stacked ever higher on the table as Skasa flipped through the book. She could go back through it later in greater detail, but for now she just wanted to pick up any trace of Lavender’s journey to Nekopolis. Or, perhaps she’d never been there at all, and this entire endeavor had been for naught. Calling upon what resolve she had left, Skasa shook her head and pushed that thought to the side. There had to be something. If she was going to find a solid lead, it was going to be in this book.

 

After realizing she’d re-read the same sentence half a dozen times, Skasa closed her eyes and heaved a congested sigh. She rubbed her temples, rubbed her nose, and sniffed harshly before finally giving in to a bout of frustration and turning straight to the journal’s last page to check the final entry’s date.

 

March 9th, 748.

 

Skasa blinked. She lifted her glasses and pawed at her eyes before reading the year again to make sure she was seeing it correctly. According to what research she’d been able to do without the journal, Arline Lavender didn’t go missing until 751. Skasa tried in vain to flip another page, but she had in fact reached the end of the tome. Her face fell into her hands, but she barely had time to let out a sob before her breath began to hitch desperately, causing her to jerk back away from the table and…

 

“hih… heh! hezzshh! hiSHHhhh!! Hh-! HYEESHhhzz!!”

 

Normally Skasa would have been appalled at herself for sneezing all over a book, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She snuffled pitifully and wiped her nose along the back of her wrist, leaving a thin trail of wetness down her forearm. She felt awful. Exhausted, sore, and - “ehshhzs!!” - sneezy. It was as though her head had been stuffed full with fluff and feathers, and she didn’t have the wherewithal to be angry. Letting out a defeated moan, Skasa shoved the useless journal to the other end of the table before collapsing in the same spot it had just occupied.

 

A shudder ran through the ship, jolting Skasa from her uncomfortable slumber. Her mind still clouded, she could only guess how long had passed. She groggily pushed herself up from the table, but before she could fully come to her senses, yet another sneeze quickly took hold. Skasa’s long nostrils flared wildly before expelling their contents with a sputtering “haeeSHHhzz!!!” that sent her scrambling for a tissue. She accidentally knocked the box to the floor as she grabbed one of the little paper sheets, but she could make due without a second, at least for now. One gasp for breath later, she ferociously blew her nose, rivaling the volume of her last big sneeze.

 

“Bless you.”

 

An unfamiliar voice made Skasa stop mid-blow. Tissue still pressed to her nostrils, she cautiously opened her eyes to find an expressionless sylv across the table, at least a volume deep into Arline Lavender’s journal. Making eye contact with Skasa for the first time, Toffee removed one hand from the book and gave a little wave. Without making any sudden movements, Skasa rose from her chair, stepped backwards to her cot, and buried herself under the covers.

 

[Erias397]

Fantastic work as usual. Two of my favorite things; catgirls and allergies. Love the cheshire-like characterization of the captain.

[Stormer235]

Can always expect blah to bring quality original stories. Love this one so far!

[Leon]

I dont see many stories about cat girls on here but that was a very intreaging story none the less