More Than Tolerable (Pride and Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennet, F)

[lighthousegirl]

In which Lizzy discovers something new about herself and sees another side to Mr Darcy. I was inspired to write this after watching the 2005 adaptation of Pride and Prejudice for the millionth time. Matthew Macfadyen is the perfect Mr Darcy and no-one can persuade me otherwise. 😌

After the dinner was mercifully over the party retired to the sitting room, with the exception of Mr Darcy, who excused himself, citing business to discuss with his groom. Colonel Fitzwilliam politely offered his arm to Elizabeth and together they entered the opulent sitting room. Elizabeth's eyes immediately fell on the chimney piece, stifling a giggle at her memories of Mr Collins's raptures at its cost and finery. It was indeed very large.
Lady Catherine summoned a servant and addressed the party. "Now wait until you see what we have acquired here at Rosings Park. It is one of only a few in the whole of England I believe. I even heard a rumour that Queen Charlotte herself owns one." The servant returned bearing a magnificent cage, inside which was a pure white parrot. Mr Collins immediately entered into paroxysms of delight at the creature.
"A delightful specimen Your Ladyship. How honoured we are to have been introduced to such an exotic and impressive animal..." To Lizzy's amusement the rest of his fawning speech was drowned out by the parrot's loud squawking.
"Yes, well we encountered one when we were in town and Anne liked it so much I decided we must have one here," Lady Catherine said haughtily. "They are most intelligent birds, so I am told. Anne trains it every day."

In spite of herself, Lizzy was interested. She liked animals, and as Colonel Fitzwilliam opened the cage and carefully took the parrot out on to his arm, she couldn't resist a closer look. She couldn't help but wonder though, how Miss Anne de Bourgh, that most silent of creatures, could ever be prevailed upon to train a parrot.
"Miss Elizabeth?" the Colonel offered, holding out the bird towards her as he perceived her interest. "You may touch it if you like. It's quite tame."
"Oh may I? Thank you Colonel," returned Lizzy eagerly. She gently stroked two fingers along the bird's soft, downy back, laughing as the parrot squawked mirthfully.

After the majority of the party had petted the creature (Mr Collins wincing as it nipped his fingertips), the Colonel returned it to its cage. Lady Catherine seemed to have tired of it now and directly engaged Mr and Mrs Collins and the Colonel in a game of cards. Lizzy sat by the window, happy to remain with her own thoughts and with no desire to engage Miss Anne in conversation. She continued to gaze at the parrot until presently she became aware of a slight tickle in her nose. She took out her pocket handkerchief and gave her nose a quick rub, hoping that it would dispel the tickle. It persisted however and her eyelids fluttered shut as she pitched forward with a small sneeze, smothered into the handkerchief.
"Isch!"
It was soft enough that no-one else heard it, but to Elizabeth's dismay the tickles seemed to persist. In fact, they seemed to be getting stronger and the urge to sneeze came upon her again.
"Iii...isch! Isch! Isch!" After the third stifled sneeze she lowered her handkerchief, only to be caught unawares as a fourth overtook her. "Ischew!" 
"God bless you, Miss Elizabeth," the Colonel addressed her politely. Lady Catherine of course barely acknowledged her.
"Thank you," she replied, realising with consternation that congestion was starting to build in her nose and behind her eyes, which had begun to water and itch. She attempted to blow her nose as quietly and unobtrusively as she could but the irritation persisted. What could be wrong with her? She wasn't starting a cold was she? She had felt perfectly well until this moment. And there was no headache or sore throat to accompany the sneezes or the itching sensation. Before she could ponder her predicament further however, she was overtaken once again by an overpowering need to sneeze. She turned away from the card party and brought her handkerchief to her face again, hoping not to draw any more attention to herself. "Isch! Iii...isch! Ischew!"
"Miss Elizabeth, are you quite well?" enquired the Colonel, watching her with concern and half-rising from his chair as if to assist her.
She turned quickly, sniffling and blinking away the tears that had formed in her eyes.
"Forgive me, I am quite well. But perhaps I may step out for a moment of fresh air? I suddenly feel rather warm." The room was indeed stiflingly hot, and so no-one thought her request odd.
"Would you like me to accompany you?" asked the ever-gentlemanly Colonel Fitzwilliam.
"No, I beg you, I would not wish you to interrupt your game. I shall return momentarily. Do excuse me." She hurried out, feeling yet more sneezes threaten to overtake her.
"Your friend seems to be a somewhat strange, flighty sort of girl Mrs Collins," she heard Lady Catherine say in disapproving tones. Despite her current dilemma, Lizzy couldn't help but smile a wry smile to herself. Clearly any hope of impressing Lady Catherine de Bourgh was long gone. Not that she found that she cared much.

She made her way out into the hallway and stood by the open front door, gratefully breathing in the cool, fresh air. She hadn't been lying when she said she felt warm.

The need to sneeze was pressing again and her eyes closed and lips parted as she waited for them to come, thankful at least that out here she did not have to stifle them.
"Ischew! Hih... hih... hischew! Hischew! Oh... hihscheww! HIHschew!"

"God bless you, Miss Elizabeth."

She opened her eyes to see Mr Darcy standing before her with a look of confusion and concern on his face.

Furious that she should have been discovered in such a state by Mr Darcy of all people, she contemptuously endeavoured to thank him, but her unfortunate nose betrayed her.
"Th-tha... thank... y-you... iii... isch! Isch! Ischew! For...forgive... ischew! Forgive me... ischew! Isschew! Hischew! Hisschew! Hih...HIH...HIHschew! HIHSCHEW!" 

Utterly mortified, she blew her nose and wiped her streaming eyes without looking once at Mr Darcy.
"Forgive me," she said at last, hating the congested sound of her voice.
"God bless you. I believe this question to be a foolish one, but... are you quite well?"
She lifted her head to look at him, ready to snap a caustic reply, when she was halted by the soft look in his eyes. He looked genuinely troubled. She had never seen him look like that before. Suddenly he seemed much more... human.
"I'm... not sure," she replied honestly.
"Are you... have you become afflicted with a cold perhaps?" said Mr Darcy, looking embarrassed himself.
"That was my first assumption. But I felt quite well until a few minutes ago and I do not seem to have any accompanying symptoms, only this... this... hih...hischew! Hischew! ISCHeww! Oh, forgive me."
"...sneezing," said Darcy thoughtfully, finishing her sentence for her as she brought her handkerchief to her face yet again.
"Yes," said Elizabeth tiredly. "And my eyes seem to be afflicted with some strange irritation also."
A dawning look of comprehension began to appear on Mr Darcy's face.
"God bless you. May I ask what you were doing just prior to this sudden attack?"
"We retired to the sitting room. Lady Catherine was showing us her pet parrot."
"Did you hold it?" Darcy asked sharply.
"I petted it. I believe we all did. Oh... eh...excuse me... ischew! Isch! Isch! Ischew!"
"God bless you," said Darcy absently, lost momentarily in his thoughts. He was brought to as Elizabeth blew her nose once again. Immediately he reached into his pocket, chastising himself for his poor manners.
"Forgive me, Miss Elizabeth. May I offer you my handkerchief?"
As he held it out to her Lizzy hesitated for a moment, almost tempted to refuse. However, her own handkerchief was ceasing to be of any use and the one Mr Darcy proffered was of a much more substantial quality.
"Thank you sir," she said, taking it somewhat bashfully.
Darcy looked at her with some slight amusement and affection. While he did not wish her ill in any way, seeing Miss Elizabeth stripped of her usual scornful demeanour and in a more human, vulnerable state only increased his desire and regard for her tenfold.
"I believe Miss Elizabeth you may be suffering from a reaction to the parrot," he said. "Such reactions have been reported by certain persons after petting cats, dogs, horses or other animals. I believe birds are included. Naturally, you may have been unaware of such an affliction, having not come into contact with such a creature before."
"Goodness!" exclaimed Elizabeth, in spite of herself. "I was indeed unaware of any such affliction. How came you to learn of it?"
"My mother. My father gifted her with a cat for her birthday and it unfortunately produced a very similar reaction. I did some research into the subject. Once we gave the cat away the condition was gone."
"Oh, I am sorry she couldn't keep her birthday present," said Lizzy sympathetically.
"As was she, I'm afraid. She was very fond of the creature. I believe she christened it 'Fitz'." And to Elizabeth's amazement Mr Darcy actually smiled at the memory.

There was a pause before Elizabeth once again felt the urge to sneeze. Now that she knew that Mr Darcy's mother had suffered a similar ailment she felt a little less self-conscious. "Forgive me, I h-have to... hih... hihschew! Iii... ischew!"  The sneezes were less strong now and already her eyes and nose felt less irritated, presumably thanks to the fresh air and being away from the cause of the affliction.
"Bless you," said Mr Darcy, almost gently. "There is nothing to forgive. You cannot help it."
"What can I do?" Elizabeth said, suddenly worried. "I must return to the sitting room or they will wonder what on earth I am about. But I would not wish to offend Lady Catherine at displaying such a violent reaction to her prize pet."
"She would indeed be most aggrieved," said Mr Darcy dryly. Elizabeth stared at him for a minute and then laughed. "I do believe you just made a joke Mr Darcy," she said, her teasing manner returning.
"It has been known, Miss Bennet," he returned, a certain mischievous twinkle in his eye that she had certainly never seen before. He became serious again almost immediately however.
"I have an idea of how we can manage. Allow me to assist you first of all."
He rang the bell for a servant and requested a pitcher of water, a bowl and a cloth. He led Elizabeth to a small powder room beside the sitting room and instructed her to wash her face and hands. "It will help rid you of what remains of the irritant," he explained.
"Once you are finished, wait outside the door until I or Colonel Fitzwilliam return to escort you."
"But what - ?" began Elizabeth, when suddenly he was gone. She shrugged and did as he said, feeling fresh relief as the cold water helped soothe her irritated eyes and nose. She checked her appearance in the glass, glad to see that she looked almost as usual. She emerged and stood waiting outside the sitting room door, which Darcy had kept slightly ajar. She couldn't help overhearing Lady Catherine's dulcet tones as she greeted her nephew and his own low reply.

"Nephew! You have been some time with your groom. I trust all is well?"

"Perfectly well thank you ma'am."

"Then come in and see our new pet. I know you will appreciate how fine it is."

"Forgive me madam, but unfortunately those sorts of birds bring out a reaction in me and cause me to sneeze terribly. I believe it must run in the family."

"Oh dear, well then we must remove it before you are ill! Remove the bird at once," the woman barked at the unfortunate servant.

"I thank you madam. Forgive me for the inconvenience."

He bowed and went over to the sideboard to help himself to a drink. Colonel Fitzwilliam excused himself from the game and rose to join him.
"I don't remember you ever having a reaction to birds before," he muttered to his friend under the guise of pouring a whisky.
"Perhaps you could step out for a moment and escort Miss Elizabeth back in," returned Darcy quietly. "I would go but it will look odd if I leave the room again so quickly."
The two men exchanged a conspiratorial smile and the Colonel made his way to the door.

Lizzy had listened to the entire exchange in silent astonishment. Mr Darcy was in fact lying to his aunt? In order to help her? Not only that, but he had joked and smiled with her. It was most disconcerting, given that she had made up her mind to loathe him for all eternity. In vain, she tried to recall all that Mr Wickham had told her about him. She had to admit, his present behaviour seemed very much at odds with such an account.

The door opened and Colonel Fitzwilliam appeared, giving her an easy smile.
"Miss Elizabeth, I trust you are feeling better now? May I escort you back in?"
He offered his arm and they re-entered the room, where he took his seat again at the card table and Lizzy seated herself on the couch. Anne had taken Charlotte's place at the card table and Charlotte was playing the piano softly. Mr Darcy joined Elizabeth on the couch and offered her a glass of water. They sat in silence for a while, listening to the music appreciatively. Then Lizzy turned to her companion and out of earshot of the rest of the company said quietly, "Thank you sir, for your assistance. I am most grateful."
"It was the least I could do," the gentleman returned, fixing her with an inscrutable look, which made her feel suddenly self-conscious.
Another few minutes went by, when suddenly Lizzy pitched forward, stifling a small sneeze into her borrowed handkerchief.
"Isch!"
"God bless you."
Their eyes met, then looked away again quickly, as each of them felt suddenly beset with a desire to laugh.

[NoV]

Loved reading this! For some reason, I really enjoy sneezefics written in this era. Something about the expectation that people adhere to social conventions makes the uncontrollable nature of sneezing really hot   

[HPG]

Best Pride and Prejudice fic I've ever read.

[AntheaHolmes]

Oh my, this was beautiful. Such a lovely story. 

Personally I prefer Colin Firth as Mr Darcy but the 2005 film was very nice indeed. Would love to read some story with Mr Darcy as the sneezer. 

[TheCakeIsAlive]

That was lovely, thank you for sharing!  

Ooh, my first Darcy was McFadyen, but I'm also very fond of Firth's Darcy. They both have a special place in my heart. xD 

Such a considerate chap, I can absolutely see him do that for Lizzy. ❤️ 

[lsbn]

I’m a bit late, but I loved this!!! So nice to finally see a story with Lizzy as the afflicted, I only ever see ones with Mr. Darcy 

[launderedlace]

Thank you - love the whole of this. The sentence

'However, her own handkerchief was ceasing to be of any use and the one Mr Darcy proffered was of a much more substantial quality'

is a great balance between being a very detailed description and allowing the reader's imagination to fill in any gaps ... how much lace, if any, was there on Lizzie's (tiny) handkerchief, for example?