Telling Significant Other/Partner

[Fiadh]

If anyone’s willing to share, at what point did you tell your partner or significant other about the fetish? I’ve been debating telling mine, but I’m so scared and I don’t know if it’s too early in the relationship or not to do so?! Any help/advice/encouragement would be appreciated! 

[MeasuredMove]

I've told multiple partners. It's super easy and really nothing to be embarrassed about. They're probably not going to think it's as gross/weird as I'm guessing you think they will. All times I've told partners have been positive. People have "things," it's really not that unusual. 

There is a DOWNSIDE, though. Maybe it's personal to me but there's a bit of authenticity that's lost after telling a partner. Like, maybe they'll be more nervous to sneeze around you, or maybe they'll try and have them sound a certain way, etc. IMO the hottest thing is a purely authentic sneeze/ing fit, and there's a bit of that that's lost by telling a partner. Put it another way - maybe they'll sneeze and then look over and smile/wink at you because they know that they've just turned you on a bit. So that's one thing to think about, that maybe you'll actually lose pleasure by telling them.  

 

 

[Engmanny]

I post everytime to these I'd really love to tell my wife, but she's not really got any fetishes that I know off not particularly kinky so not really any mutual meeting of needs to be had gut feeling is it won't be ve+ exp.. But I've started to consider paying to get my sneeze kicks and I'd much rather my wife induced for me.. 

 

[Lavender Haze]

I decided to tell my partner after we had been dating for two years. I only really decided to do it when I did because he had made a few jokes about sneezing on me and me liking it. (Weirdly specific, I know. He’s a weirdo sometimes.) I thought he knew about my kink or something. It was kind of eating me alive after that.
 

Soon after that happened, I asked him if I could tell him about a weird kink I have. He said of course. I told him I was very nervous and that I thought I’d prefer to write it all down. So, I texted him some preliminary questions about his jokes trying to gauge the situation. I think I was really just stalling. I really don’t think I should have done that, but once I told him it was totally fine. He asked like a handful of questions. I answered them as best I could.

 

He’s known for about eight almost nine months now. Ever since then, when he sneezes around me he tries to sneeze on my chest for me. He tries to announce his sneezes too. There were times I was frustrated that he hadn’t asked more about it to try to understand it, but we talked about it yesterday. He hadn’t asked because he was worried by how uncomfy I get when talking about it. 

 

My first tip would be to tell him when you both are in a good headspace and in a neutral location. Like, I wouldn’t recommend doing it in bed or during sexual intimacy. That can sometimes unintentionally add pressure to the person your telling to not just take in the information, but to also form their opinion, decide their boundaries, and come up with a response all at once because they feel as though it is something you are trying to do right then and there. It was easiest to me to say it, leave it on the table for a good while, and then start to play with it. It made it a little less intense, and more natural.
 

My second piece of advice is to be as confident as you can be about it. I have been so painfully awkward about it, and it’s honestly beyond frustrating. Both for my partner who’s trying to please me, and for me who wants to feel understood and also play with the kink. I get that it’s easy to say, “just be confident”. But, if you trust your partner enough to tell them and they are okay with it, it’s probably safe to say that they won’t want you to feel uncomfortable telling them about something you enjoy. 
 

I don’t think anyone can tell you if the relationship is ready, but I certainly think telling my partner was a good thing. I am glad I waited until I was certain I could trust him, but I’m also a little disappointed I waited two whole years, even if I didn’t feel ready when I told him. 

Good luck!! I hope it goes well!! 

[peach2218]

8 years into our relationship and 4 years into our marriage. This past July. I wasn’t going to tell him because I still find the fetish kind of embarrassing and I liked being able to enjoy it without anyone knowing, but eventually it just got to be too much. It felt like I was carrying a massive weight on my shoulders and I didn’t like keeping it a secret from him. 

I have a whole thread about how I told him, but basically it was a huge thing and I made a big deal out of it and I was obviously super embarrassed by it. The only thing he knows is that I have a sneezing fetish. We haven’t discussed it since then and he hasn’t asked me any questions about it, probably because he doesn’t want to upset me or make me uncomfortable. I do want to talk about it though, eventually, because I think he might be under the impression that I get turned on by my own sneezing which is not the case. 
 

I feel like it’s never too early, especially if you’re going to be in a sexual relationship, but it’s also up to you. Not everything needs to be shared. I do feel a lot better now that my husband knows. 

[pepperbreeze]

I told my long-term partner on one of our first dates, they were very receptive and excited to do something special for me that came quite easily to them.

My other recent partner I told before we were together because fetishes came up in conversation. They were very surprised, but again very curious and when things happened between us they really enjoyed inducing because they like what it does for me.

It's scary. For me it's important to know my partners won't make me feel shame or other bad feelings about what I want. I would understand and respect if they didn't want to bring sneezing into the bedroom, but I would need to know they understood and accepted that part of me.

[solitaire-au]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe we need a master thread for this topic because it comes up so often. (These threads are just from the last 6 months.)

 

 

[Plop68]

Can’t wait to do this, but stressing about timing