5 times Crowley sneezes and the one time Aziraphale does (Good Omens, M)

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Obviously still obsessed with Good Omens.  I love the Ineffable Husbands so much. I realised I hadn't really written a "5 times +1 fic before, so I thought I'd give it a go.  I hope that someone else enjoys reading it as much as I did writing it. 

I've tried not to specify exactly where in canon I think it fits, so anywhere in the Bentley/Ritz era. Where-ever you prefer it to sit in your head-canon really.  

If you've got any particular ideas in mind with the Ineffable husbands, feel free to put below. I won't promise I'll write them, but I'm enjoying these 2 far too much to not write more.  

 

1.
Crowley's face fell. Aziraphale opened his mouth to ask him what was wrong when the demon's breath hitched twice and Crowley pitched forward with a harsh sneeze. "/hhh...UETCHHHh!/" He pitched forward with the force, but still caught it in the crook of his elbow. He straightened up slowly.

"Gesundheit!", Aziraphale piped up, trying to sound less flustered than he felt. "Are you alright?"

Crowley laughed. "It's just a sneeze, angel." 

Aziraphale was suddenly extremely interested in a couple walking further down the street and made a remark about their goings-on. Crowley shrugged and accepted the non-sequitur. The angel was being shifty, but it was hardly the first time. 

2.
It was a remarkably cold day for London. Aziraphale had insisted on walking to the Ritz to enjoy the Christmas lights on the way. Crowley had - very grudgingly - conceded. As a former - and still occasional - snake, he felt the cold rather more acutely than the angel. "/Hhhehh.../" His breath hitched, forming a little cloud in front of his pink nose and freezing face. 

Aziraphale looked at him sharply. The angel swallowed the words he was about to say, and floundered for a moment before saying something about the small ice age. 

Crowley tried to pay attention but his head slowly tipped back, his breath no longer answering to his command, and he sneezed twice, loudly. "Sorry angel, what were you saying?" 

"Nazdrovje, Crowley." Aziraphale sounded breathless, which could be from the cold (though it wasn't). 
"I am sorry I got you out in the cold. I forgot you feel it worse than I. Some gluhwein when we get there?" 

If Crowley realised Aziraphale's cheeks had gotten redder, he didn't remark on it. "It's a deal, angel."

3.
The third time it really was his own fault. Crowley had acquired a book for Aziraphale from a second hand shop as a small gift. As soon as he had it on his person, an itch blossomed in his nose. It felt deep and intense and.../urgent/.

He immediately sneezed a harsh triple, but it barely made a dent into the feeling. 

Through pure force of will, he managed to suppress the feeling whilst he walked.

He sauntered into the bookshop and put the book on Aziraphale's desk.

The moment he retrieved it from his coat pocket, his nose went /haywire/. "/hhhh... hehhhhh... ITCHiiiHH!... hhhhngh... hAAATCHUUUH! hhETCH!/"

Aziraphale popped out of the kitchen, catching the last one. "Salud, Crowley." 

Crowley slowly straightened up, his nose pressed into a handkerchief. "Sorry, angel, don't know what's come over me. Oh! Got you a little something." He pointed at the book on the desk. His nose twitched again. 

"Oh, thank you! You shouldn't have." The angel blushed. 

Crowley shrugged awkwardly as Aziraphale rushed past him to admire the volume. He opened the folio reverently and immediately realised the cause of the trouble. 

"Oh Crowley... Previous owner: St Eustacious Library..." He closed the book and took it up in his arms. "Let me put that safely away from you. I think you'll feel better when I do." He put it away in his back room, where Crowley rarely if ever ventured. He /certainly/ wasn't thinking about bending the demon over backwards on his librarian trolley. 

"How about a nice glass of Chateauneuf-du-pape?" the angel followed up. 

Crowley was never going to say no to that. And if the angel was occasionally throwing him odd sideways looks, he'd contemplate those later.

4.
Aziraphale noticed Crowley going still, his nostrils giving a brief twitch. He quietly handed the demon his pocket square. Crowley grasped it and sneezed harshly into it. "Thank you, angel", he said, hoarsely. 

He sneezed again.

"A vos souhaits", Aziraphale said, shakily. 

The angel produced a bag of frozen peas and started feeding the ducks, then offered the bag to Crowley. He smiled at the angel. "Softie." 

Aziraphale took it as it was intended, a term of affection. 

Crowley's brain was doing overtime, realising there was a pattern to the angel's behaviour he hadn't really noticed before. Aziraphale was always acting particularly shifty when he sneezed. Interesting. 

5.

Crowley was intrigued. He wanted to study the angel's response better. So he engineered a situation where he could sneeze - more or less - on command. 

He had dug out his old snuff box and... trialed it. It proved rather... effective. His sinuses were still burning several hours later. 

He pottered into the bookshop and let the little bell over the door announce his arrival with a little jingle. 

Crowley draped himself over one of Aziraphale's arm chairs. "Hello, angel." He tried to sound casual. 

He heard shuffling in the back room. Good. He had a few moments, then. He tapped the lid of the small tin, then grabbed a little pinch between his thumb and forefinger, placed it with care on the flat he'd created by tucking his other thumb under the flat of his hand and sniffed deeply. 

He held the breath for a long moment, and felt the itch returning in full force. Possibly a little stronger than he had bargained for. 

Okay, a lot stronger than he had bargained for. He was still so sensitive from his little experiment earlier. 

He tried to calm his breath as much as possible, pinching his nose, pressing under it with a finger as he'd seen in some early movies. It was no use. 

He saw Aziraphale emerge from the corner of his now watering eyes, as they were slowly closing. "/hhhh... HHhheEEEEESHHH! 'scuse me-ehhhh... hehhhhTCHiiiHH!... hhhhngh... hnnngxxxht!/... sohhh... sorry ang/hhh/... angel... /hAAATCHUUUH! hhETSHHHH!/"

He pinched his nostrils together again and stifled a last sneeze, which seemed to do the trick. He managed to crack open his eyes and looked eagerly at the angel, who stood there, frozen, mouth moving in a shape that Crowley lip-read as "Fuck". 

"Sorry, angel, don't know what came over me." He shrugged his shoulders. Aziraphale's mouth was still working without a single sound emerging. 

Then the angel seemed to regain the power of speech. "Goodness, that sounded... intense." Crowley noticed the angel sounded breathless. Excellent. He definitely needed do that again. Maybe with a little more... control. 

Or not.

 

+1.

Aziraphale had been "almost ready" for the past few hours. Crowley had settled into his usual chair, happy in the knowledge that there would be a table for them at the Ritz at whatever time they turned up (as long as it was before closing), one of the perks of being a celestial being. The angel was moving around boxes of books. He'd bought up part of the inventory of a bookshop that had closed down due to the owner retiring. 

A lot of the books had been living in those boxes for many years. The angel was huffing and puffing. He'd even rolled up his sleeves. Crowley was highly appreciative of the opportunity to admire the angel's forearms. It had been some centuries since the fashion had allowed him to take in that sight. 

Halfway through moving a particularly precarious stack of boxes, the angel stopped. "Cr... Crowley... can you/hhh/ give me a... a hand?" The angel's voice was wavering. 

Crowley moved to get up. As he walked towards the angel, Aziraphale's eyes closed and his head tipped back. "Ohhh... /quickly/... Croww... Cr.... /hhhehhh/.... /hhhhehhhhTSchhhuhh!/"

It was cute. So much smaller a sound than his own violent explosions. The angel was blushing, but still holding on to the boxes. "Bless you, angel." Crowley felt an itch stir up in the back of his own nose at the blessing, but he felt the angel deserved the effort. 

He took the top box off the pile. "Ohhh... thank you my dear boy, they are so..." the angel's eyes glazed over again. "/hhhhhhEhhHTSHHiiih!/... pardon me... so dusty." He sniffled delicately. Crowley could see the appeal.

Mouth a little dry and cheeks definitely a little red, thinking about what it did to the angel when the situation was reversed, he thought this might be a good time to go for dinner. "Angel, would you be happy to leave the rest until after dinner?" He waggled his eyebrows and held out a hand to Aziraphale (after putting down the box).

"That would be lovely, dear boy." Aziraphale took Crowley's offered hand as they pottered over to the Ritz. And if either of them were having Feelings about the hand contact, they were careful not to let them show.

[Masking]

This is a two thumbs up from me. They both have such gorgeous sneezes here...*sigh* And I like how Crowley compares and contrasts his and Aziraphale's sneezes.

[MyOwnPrivateSFC]

Oh, I liked this! Very teasing, and very cute! 

[90percenthoneydew]

i love fetish!aziraphale so much. i’m not one to hc characters having the fetish, but for some reason it just makes sense with him. this was delightful. if you ever feel like writing more GO… i will be here to read it 👀

[TheCakeIsAlive]

On 11/5/2023 at 11:52 PM, Masking said:

This is a two thumbs up from me. They both have such gorgeous sneezes here...*sigh* And I like how Crowley compares and contrasts his and Aziraphale's sneezes.

Thank you so much. ❤️  I have no idea in collab with who those interpretations of their sneezes were developed...  

On 11/9/2023 at 7:22 AM, MyOwnPrivateSFC said:

Oh, I liked this! Very teasing, and very cute! 

Thank you so much.  

20 hours ago, 90percenthoneydew said:

i love fetish!aziraphale so much. i’m not one to hc characters having the fetish, but for some reason it just makes sense with him. this was delightful. if you ever feel like writing more GO… i will be here to read it 👀

Thank you!   Oh, very much likewise. Finding something brought on by a blessing attractive? Totally sounds in line with canon in my books.  I've written a fair amount of stuff with them, but mostly on the adult board.   (access happens after validation) 

Always fantastic to see more GO fans.  Considering I'm 3.5 months into this hyperfocus with no end in sight I'm sure I'll spam the boards with more.  

[Vinda]

Ahhhhh, I love it! There can never be enough Ineffable Husbands content! And I really enjoyed slightly repressed/shy sneeze fetish Aziraphale and extremely on brand curious (and gift giving) Crowley! They're both so sweet in this. 

[M_s]

Love this so much!! Great writing!! 

[TheCakeIsAlive]

On 11/13/2023 at 6:12 PM, Vinda said:

Ahhhhh, I love it! There can never be enough Ineffable Husbands content! And I really enjoyed slightly repressed/shy sneeze fetish Aziraphale and extremely on brand curious (and gift giving) Crowley! They're both so sweet in this. 

Thank you so much.  I had a lot of fun trying this format.  Somehow I feel like Aziraphale fits having our little kink so well.   Especially with the headcanon that blessings make Crowley sneeze. 

On 11/14/2023 at 6:00 AM, M_s said:

Love this so much!! Great writing!! 

Thank you so much! Very honoured you've come out of semi-lurking to let me know.  That means a lot!

[AntheaHolmes]

Oh these two are adorable. I love Crowley and Aziraphale so much. Season 2 broke my heart but these little Stories repaired it. Thank you! 

[Akahana]

Wonderful stuff!!  Your Good Omens fics are always worth the read ❤️

[TheCakeIsAlive]

On 11/17/2023 at 8:33 AM, AntheaHolmes said:

Oh these two are adorable. I love Crowley and Aziraphale so much. Season 2 broke my heart but these little Stories repaired it. Thank you! 

Thank you so much.  I'm pleased I contributed to some healing after the season finale. I recommend thinking about the South Downs Cottage that may be in the future!

On 11/18/2023 at 8:44 AM, Akahana said:

Wonderful stuff!!  Your Good Omens fics are always worth the read ❤️

Thank you so much.   I'm so glad you think so.   I was going to write a few more short scenes with them, but I'm now 6K+ into one of those where they are basically going "no, that doesn't sound like something we would do, write it different" at every turn.   (I love them.) But I absolutely intend to continue to explore the Ineffable Husbands in many more different settings.  

[NYXIE]

This is adding to my desire to find Good Omens to watch (I've been seeing it all over Tumblr and my interest has grown significantly). I love your writing! Keep it up!

[ellwren]

Most excellent!

 

I haven’t seen the new series of Good Omens. Was there a new book written as well, or was it just tv? 

[AntheaHolmes]

1 hour ago, ellwren said:

Most excellent!

 

I haven’t seen the new series of Good Omens. Was there a new book written as well, or was it just tv? 

I believe it was just for TV but the series is amazing! It broke me in some ways but it's amazing nonetheless. You should watch it! Sheen and Tennant are perfect! 

[TheCakeIsAlive]

On 11/21/2023 at 9:15 PM, NYXIE said:

This is adding to my desire to find Good Omens to watch (I've been seeing it all over Tumblr and my interest has grown significantly). I love your writing! Keep it up!

Ooh, yesssss, join the dark side!  (We have scrumptious desserts and a crate of an excellent local vintage in the wine cellar.) I can definitely recommend Good Omens. One of the very few times I think the adaptation improves on the book! 

Thank you so much.   If you've got anything in particular you fancy seeing with these 2, feel free to suggest. I made no promises, but happy to work on a prompt.  

17 hours ago, ellwren said:

Most excellent!

 

I haven’t seen the new series of Good Omens. Was there a new book written as well, or was it just tv? 

Thank you so much!  There isn't a new book, buuuut... season 3 scripts have been greenlit and they will be based on the discussions for a book 2 that Neil & Terry had back in the day (I cannot wait!) If Amazon doesn't renew it, Neil has said he will write the book, so we should eventually get closure either way.  

[ellwren]

12 hours ago, TheCakeIsAlive said:

Thank you so much!  There isn't a new book, buuuut... season 3 scripts have been greenlit and they will be based on the discussions for a book 2 that Neil & Terry had back in the day (I cannot wait!) If Amazon doesn't renew it, Neil has said he will write the book, so we should eventually get closure either way.  

Yay! I loved the book, and the first season of the show was great!

On 11/24/2023 at 4:35 PM, AntheaHolmes said:

I believe it was just for TV but the series is amazing! It broke me in some ways but it's amazing nonetheless. You should watch it! Sheen and Tennant are perfect! 

I want to! I have a toddler, so it is hard to find the time 🫠

[Cambria]

Really cute 🥰 

[angora48]

Lovely scenarios here! I love Aziraphale getting so befuddled when Crowley sneezes, and Crowley's observations to realize how he's being affected. 😇💘