Berni's Burny nose

[Its All Sternutation]

Hello everyone, I'm a bit new here, but this is what I came here to post. It's the first part of a sneezy writing project that I'm hoping to post here in little parts. This is the first time I'm going public with this outside of a few other sneeple I met in other places, so please let me know what you think. I have a whole bunch more stuff like this already cooked up that I'm gonna post over the next few weeks

-Its All Sternutation

Okay, time to start : >

 

Part 1: A Beautiful Blossom

 

Ah, fall. 

Even before, fall had always had a soft spot in Sam’s heart, but now they could safely say it was their favorite.  
All the hits were there. It was the season of their birthday, (September 29th) their favorite colors (red, orange, and yellow), and their favorite clothing (hoodies, sweaters, and cozy flannels). But now, it was also the month Sam met their favorite person in the world.
They had known the sounds of fall for as long as they could remember: the crinkling of the leaves, the trees rustling in the wind, the peaceful quiet that all the other seasons just didn’t seem to have. However, now that Sam had met the love of their life, these had been joined by a few new sounds:

"eh…Eh…EH…EEESHIEW!"

Even before they knew it had come from her, Sam knew that sound. They knew it from the first day of their Freshman Latin class in college. The class wasn’t one of their cores (they were a skilled writer) and they knew it wasn’t one of hers either (she was a programming prodigy), but nonetheless, the stars and arbitrary graduation requirements aligned to put them together in that moment. They both had arrived early, albeit for completely different reasons. That was where Sam had first heard those beautiful sounds. Sounds like: 

*sniff* *sniff* “heh…"

And…

“hh-hh...hih-HEH…”

And the famous one of course…

“Heek-SHIEW!”

They hadn’t thought much about it, until they turned to their left and realized they inadvertently found themself next to the source. It was a girl. A pale one in a pink hoodie, with round glasses, and with dark hair tucked into a cute little beanie. The glasses were tucked onto a nose that was just as pink as the hoodie and just as little and cute as the beanie. 
It was clear to Sam that she was having a bad time. There was a long string of watery snot dripping down her nose and she seemed deeply distressed about it. However, at the moment, she appeared to be too busy frantically searching her bag to be able to attend to it.

Startled with sudden realization, Sam reached into their pocket. Sam had never had any allergies, but everything else that seemed to make people sneezy or snotty seemed to affect them enough. Because of that, they had accumulated a collection of handkerchiefs and always made sure to keep one with them. The one they pulled out was big, plain, white. Sam wordlessly offered it to the girl along with a comforting smile. She visibly hesitated at first, but as she did, her look changed: her eyes narrowed, her head turned upward, her breath became a kind of congested, shuddering stuttering: “hh..huhg..gh..hgk…” As if by desperate instinct, she grabbed the hanky and held it to her face, but it appeared her nose was not yet ready to resume its newest verse: “hgk..geh…”

Until of course it was: “heh-EhSHEW! HISHOO! Ah-ASHOO! heh-Heh-HEH! EESHOOO!”
Her nose then followed with a gurgling blow as a chorus, which in turn was followed by a semistifled “Hap-tshh”, and a soggy reprise. 
When she had finally recovered enough to bring the hanky down from her nose, she looked towards Sam and began stuttering out an apology: “Oh shit! I-I-I’m…sorry. I didn…I didn’t mean to-”.

“Bless you. Don’t worry. Last time I checked, that’s what those were supposed to be used for.”

“I promise I’m not sick. I’ve just got…huh…HuhEshh! Ikshh! Sorry.” she tried to explain before being interrupted by two snotty sneezes in quick succession. 

“Allergies?”

“Yeah…” she responded with a nervous chuckle “Sorry…”.

She then tried to offer the hanky back, but Sam declined. “You look like you might need it more than me.

In response, she opened her bag, and began searching it again. This time she was quick to find the object of her search: a smaller handkerchief of her own with an absolutely adorable blue line pattern on it. “You can have mine if you need it. I haven’t used it yet,” she said with a snuffle. 

“Thanks,” Sam replied with a smile, “I’m not used to seeing that many other people use handkerchiefs.” 

“Me neither. My family is from Japan and apparently everyone there has one, but I grew up around here and I’ve never known anyone else who uses them.”

“You’re a local?”

“I’m in-state, but from here specifically. I was born and grew up about an hour from here. My parents are both doctors in the college clinic system,” she explained. “I’m Berni, by the way. Um…you should probably pick a different seat before class starts. I don’t want all my sneezing and sniffling to interrupt you. I’m just taking this class because I need the foreign language credit.”

“Nice to meet you Berni, I’m Sam. And don’t worry I think everyone is here for the language credit. Besides, ani mdbr abrit.”

“Huh?” 

“I already have a foreign language.” Sam explained.

“Oh, me too. Kafunshō ga kirai desu.” Berni replied.

“I know that was probably Japanese, but what did you say?”

“I hate hay fever.” she said with a groan as she began wiping her nose with Sam’s handkerchief.

“I had a feeling, but what did you say?”

“That is what I-”

But before she could finish, the professor began to speak. Despite Berni’s insistence, it was too late for Sam to move. Dr. Senex had already begun his first of many completely uneventful lectures.

Both Sam’s parents were alumni of the college and had many stories. Sam’s father in particular had more than a few stories about Dr. Senex in particular. According to him, Senex was a relic even thirty years ago. Since then, the professor had lost most of his vitality, hearing, and sight, but still kept his droning voice. Apparently during his “prime”, an English teacher who was 30 Dr. Senex’s senior described him as “the very same puny, inexhaustible voice our dear friend William spoke about when he received the nobel prize in literature.”
The reason why his classes were so popular after all this time was that they were the perfect places for people like Sam and Berni who didn’t wish to invest too much of their time into language classes. 

Sam almost dozed off several times, but each time he was roused by another soft snuffle, another wet sneeze, another gentle “sorry”, or another gentle nose blow. Finally, just as he was about to drift off again, he was roused by a different sound, a whisper:  “If you already know a foreign language, why are you here taking Latin?” Berni asked.

“I don’t really wanna talk about that,” Sam whispered back. “If you already know Japanese, why are you here taking Latin?”

“I don’t really wanna talk about that eih…eh…Eih-EEIKTSHOO!” she began to respond before being interrupted by an extra loud, extra forceful, and extra messy sneeze. “Fuck…” she muttered almost fearfully.

A few of the nearby students turned to stare. However, it was mostly out of boredom or curiosity and not out of disgust. No one seemed like they particularly cared that much about the professor, who himself gave no indication that he had even heard the sneeze. One girl however, a tall redhead sitting nearby, responded to Berni’s sneeze with a hateful glare.
When Berni realized this, her face turned red with shame and Sam watched as she quickly rushed out of the lecture hall, letting out fits of desperate sneezes as she did so. After she left, Sam realized that she had left most of her stuff, including her bag, a laptop, and, most worryingly, the handkerchief they had given her. With no real plan in mind, Sam carefully picked up the hanky and followed her outside.

Berni was not particularly hard to find outside the lecture hall, but Sam probably could’ve found her from the sound of her sniffling alone. She was sitting alone on a bench, wiping her itchy, teary eyes and her itchy, runny nose with the sleeves of her hoodie. She seemed too preoccupied to notice Sam, so they wordlessly sat down next to her and offered the same white handkerchief (albeit now a little soiled) and the same comforting smile (albeit now a little sad) as before. 

When Berni looked up to notice them, she let out a sound that sounded like an intersection between a groan, a moan, a sigh, and a sob before taking the handkerchief, pressing it to her nose, and blowing hard. The blow she gave was far more forceful than those she had done before. It began of course as a wet, congested gurgle, before transforming into a loud honk. With its great force, the blow was over in a few seconds. When it ended, Berni lowered the handkerchief to reveal a pair of itchy, teary eyes and a nose that was rubbed raw with irritation. 

There was a long silence between the two before it was broken. However, unexpectedly, it was the far quieter one who broke it first: “I’m so..thank you…thank you so much.” 

“Bless you.” Sam said with concern in their voice.

“I’m so gross.” she said with a sniff. 

“Rough day?”

“Yeah,” Berni answered as she wiped her teary eyes.

There was a pause before Sam checked their watch and realized what they needed to do next: “How about this? I think there’s only a few minutes left of the lecture, so how about we go in, finish it up, and when it’s done, I’ll take you to lunch somewhere quiet.

“I c..I cuh…Hhh-eISHuh!” she began before being interrupted by a sneeze she muffled into Sam’s damp hanky, “I can’t…”

“Why not?” Sam asked with a hint of sorrow in his voice.

“You’ll…heh..yeugh…you’ll hate me for…hehh-HeehHH-Heeiighh-SHhEIW!” she exclaimed, “You’ll hate me for sneezing and snorting so much.”

“I don’t really mind,” Sam said reassuringly, “And I don’t think anyone there is gonna mind either. No one really cares about that class anyway and everyone knows all the pollen around here is killer.”

“Lottie minds. She hates me already,” Berni sobbed. 

“Lottie?”

“My roommate. She gets mad at me. Says I’m gross and that my hay fever messes up her beauty sleep.”

“I think…I think I might have met her,” Sam said, perplexed.

“You did?” Berni asked with a sniff.

“I think she was in my history of journalism class. About yea high, red curly hair and freckles?”

“Yep,” Berni confirmed.

“But she…she just seemed so nice. How could she say something like that to you?”

“Because she’s right. I’m disgusting,” Berni lamented before blowing her nose wetly into Sam’s hanky.

“Right? Of course not. You have allergies. If you didn’t sneeze or blow your nose every once in a while, you’d probably drown!”

This humorous remark did a lot to cheer Berni up, and she let out a cute giggle that sounded much happier than before. “You don’t mind that I’m such a sneezy, sniffly, snotty...heh-HESHIEW!...very sneezy mess?” Berni asked with a cute snort as she wiped her dripping nose. 

“Of course not,” Sam reassured. “Don’t I’ve had plenty of friends with allergies, so I know what I’m getting into. Heck, I’ve been known to be a bit sneezy myself. Why do you think I had that handkerchief with me?”

“Do you have hay fever too?” Berni asked sympathetically.

“No. I’ve got rhinitis, but it's more of the nonallergic kind.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means that a bunch of things that aren’t allergy related makes me sneeze. Smoke, dust, strong smells, spicy food. Pretty much anything under the sun ironically including the...ah..choo! Ashiew! Hep-Chiew! Including the sun!” they said with a laugh “speak of the devil.”

“Aww,” Berni cooed as she grabbed the handkerchief she had given Sam and used it to wipe the snot on their nose, “that’s gotta suck. I have to say though, I think your sneezes are a lot cuter than mine.”

“Eh, I could take it or leave it. It doesn’t really bother me that much.” Sam explained with a chuckle. “I have to say though, I actually think I like your sneezing better.”

“What?” Berni asked surprised, “Why?”

“Maybe I’ll tell you later. Tell you what, if you come back and help keep me awake through that snore fest of a lecture, then I’ll tell you over some lunch. My treat.”

“Okay,” Berni said with a smile, “It’s nice meeting you Sammy. Thank you for…thank you for helping me.”

“No problem Bern” Sam said with a laugh.

As Sam and Berni quietly snuck back into the lecture hall, neither knew this beautiful –and very sneezy– fall day would blossom into a wonderful, blooming bond. Berni would give Sam a new reason to love their favorite season, but little did Berni know, Sam would give her something even better. 

[ShamanBodyan]

11 hours ago, Its All Sternutation said:

Hello everyone, I'm a bit new here, but this is what I came here to post. It's the first part of a sneezy writing project that I'm hoping to post here in little parts. This is the first time I'm going public with this outside of a few other sneeple I met in other places, so please let me know what you think. I have a whole bunch more stuff like this already cooked up that I'm gonna post over the next few weeks

-Its All Sternutation

Okay, time to start : >

 

Part 1: A Beautiful Blossom

 

Ah, fall. 

Even before, fall had always had a soft spot in Sam’s heart, but now they could safely say it was their favorite.  
All the hits were there. It was the season of their birthday, (September 29th) their favorite colors (red, orange, and yellow), and their favorite clothing (hoodies, sweaters, and cozy flannels). But now, it was also the month Sam met their favorite person in the world.
They had known the sounds of fall for as long as they could remember: the crinkling of the leaves, the trees rustling in the wind, the peaceful quiet that all the other seasons just didn’t seem to have. However, now that Sam had met the love of their life, these had been joined by a few new sounds:

"eh…Eh…EH…EEESHIEW!"

Even before they knew it had come from her, Sam knew that sound. They knew it from the first day of their Freshman Latin class in college. The class wasn’t one of their cores (they were a skilled writer) and they knew it wasn’t one of hers either (she was a programming prodigy), but nonetheless, the stars and arbitrary graduation requirements aligned to put them together in that moment. They both had arrived early, albeit for completely different reasons. That was where Sam had first heard those beautiful sounds. Sounds like: 

*sniff* *sniff* “heh…"

And…

“hh-hh...hih-HEH…”

And the famous one of course…

“Heek-SHIEW!”

They hadn’t thought much about it, until they turned to their left and realized they inadvertently found themself next to the source. It was a girl. A pale one in a pink hoodie, with round glasses, and with dark hair tucked into a cute little beanie. The glasses were tucked onto a nose that was just as pink as the hoodie and just as little and cute as the beanie. 
It was clear to Sam that she was having a bad time. There was a long string of watery snot dripping down her nose and she seemed deeply distressed about it. However, at the moment, she appeared to be too busy frantically searching her bag to be able to attend to it.

Startled with sudden realization, Sam reached into their pocket. Sam had never had any allergies, but everything else that seemed to make people sneezy or snotty seemed to affect them enough. Because of that, they had accumulated a collection of handkerchiefs and always made sure to keep one with them. The one they pulled out was big, plain, white. Sam wordlessly offered it to the girl along with a comforting smile. She visibly hesitated at first, but as she did, her look changed: her eyes narrowed, her head turned upward, her breath became a kind of congested, shuddering stuttering: “hh..huhg..gh..hgk…” As if by desperate instinct, she grabbed the hanky and held it to her face, but it appeared her nose was not yet ready to resume its newest verse: “hgk..geh…”

Until of course it was: “heh-EhSHEW! HISHOO! Ah-ASHOO! heh-Heh-HEH! EESHOOO!”
Her nose then followed with a gurgling blow as a chorus, which in turn was followed by a semistifled “Hap-tshh”, and a soggy reprise. 
When she had finally recovered enough to bring the hanky down from her nose, she looked towards Sam and began stuttering out an apology: “Oh shit! I-I-I’m…sorry. I didn…I didn’t mean to-”.

“Bless you. Don’t worry. Last time I checked, that’s what those were supposed to be used for.”

“I promise I’m not sick. I’ve just got…huh…HuhEshh! Ikshh! Sorry.” she tried to explain before being interrupted by two snotty sneezes in quick succession. 

“Allergies?”

“Yeah…” she responded with a nervous chuckle “Sorry…”.

She then tried to offer the hanky back, but Sam declined. “You look like you might need it more than me.

In response, she opened her bag, and began searching it again. This time she was quick to find the object of her search: a smaller handkerchief of her own with an absolutely adorable blue line pattern on it. “You can have mine if you need it. I haven’t used it yet,” she said with a snuffle. 

“Thanks,” Sam replied with a smile, “I’m not used to seeing that many other people use handkerchiefs.” 

“Me neither. My family is from Japan and apparently everyone there has one, but I grew up around here and I’ve never known anyone else who uses them.”

“You’re a local?”

“I’m in-state, but from here specifically. I was born and grew up about an hour from here. My parents are both doctors in the college clinic system,” she explained. “I’m Berni, by the way. Um…you should probably pick a different seat before class starts. I don’t want all my sneezing and sniffling to interrupt you. I’m just taking this class because I need the foreign language credit.”

“Nice to meet you Berni, I’m Sam. And don’t worry I think everyone is here for the language credit. Besides, ani mdbr abrit.”

“Huh?” 

“I already have a foreign language.” Sam explained.

“Oh, me too. Kafunshō ga kirai desu.” Berni replied.

“I know that was probably Japanese, but what did you say?”

“I hate hay fever.” she said with a groan as she began wiping her nose with Sam’s handkerchief.

“I had a feeling, but what did you say?”

“That is what I-”

But before she could finish, the professor began to speak. Despite Berni’s insistence, it was too late for Sam to move. Dr. Senex had already begun his first of many completely uneventful lectures.

Both Sam’s parents were alumni of the college and had many stories. Sam’s father in particular had more than a few stories about Dr. Senex in particular. According to him, Senex was a relic even thirty years ago. Since then, the professor had lost most of his vitality, hearing, and sight, but still kept his droning voice. Apparently during his “prime”, an English teacher who was 30 Dr. Senex’s senior described him as “the very same puny, inexhaustible voice our dear friend William spoke about when he received the nobel prize in literature.”
The reason why his classes were so popular after all this time was that they were the perfect places for people like Sam and Berni who didn’t wish to invest too much of their time into language classes. 

Sam almost dozed off several times, but each time he was roused by another soft snuffle, another wet sneeze, another gentle “sorry”, or another gentle nose blow. Finally, just as he was about to drift off again, he was roused by a different sound, a whisper:  “If you already know a foreign language, why are you here taking Latin?” Berni asked.

“I don’t really wanna talk about that,” Sam whispered back. “If you already know Japanese, why are you here taking Latin?”

“I don’t really wanna talk about that eih…eh…Eih-EEIKTSHOO!” she began to respond before being interrupted by an extra loud, extra forceful, and extra messy sneeze. “Fuck…” she muttered almost fearfully.

A few of the nearby students turned to stare. However, it was mostly out of boredom or curiosity and not out of disgust. No one seemed like they particularly cared that much about the professor, who himself gave no indication that he had even heard the sneeze. One girl however, a tall redhead sitting nearby, responded to Berni’s sneeze with a hateful glare.
When Berni realized this, her face turned red with shame and Sam watched as she quickly rushed out of the lecture hall, letting out fits of desperate sneezes as she did so. After she left, Sam realized that she had left most of her stuff, including her bag, a laptop, and, most worryingly, the handkerchief they had given her. With no real plan in mind, Sam carefully picked up the hanky and followed her outside.

Berni was not particularly hard to find outside the lecture hall, but Sam probably could’ve found her from the sound of her sniffling alone. She was sitting alone on a bench, wiping her itchy, teary eyes and her itchy, runny nose with the sleeves of her hoodie. She seemed too preoccupied to notice Sam, so they wordlessly sat down next to her and offered the same white handkerchief (albeit now a little soiled) and the same comforting smile (albeit now a little sad) as before. 

When Berni looked up to notice them, she let out a sound that sounded like an intersection between a groan, a moan, a sigh, and a sob before taking the handkerchief, pressing it to her nose, and blowing hard. The blow she gave was far more forceful than those she had done before. It began of course as a wet, congested gurgle, before transforming into a loud honk. With its great force, the blow was over in a few seconds. When it ended, Berni lowered the handkerchief to reveal a pair of itchy, teary eyes and a nose that was rubbed raw with irritation. 

There was a long silence between the two before it was broken. However, unexpectedly, it was the far quieter one who broke it first: “I’m so..thank you…thank you so much.” 

“Bless you.” Sam said with concern in their voice.

“I’m so gross.” she said with a sniff. 

“Rough day?”

“Yeah,” Berni answered as she wiped her teary eyes.

There was a pause before Sam checked their watch and realized what they needed to do next: “How about this? I think there’s only a few minutes left of the lecture, so how about we go in, finish it up, and when it’s done, I’ll take you to lunch somewhere quiet.

“I c..I cuh…Hhh-eISHuh!” she began before being interrupted by a sneeze she muffled into Sam’s damp hanky, “I can’t…”

“Why not?” Sam asked with a hint of sorrow in his voice.

“You’ll…heh..yeugh…you’ll hate me for…hehh-HeehHH-Heeiighh-SHhEIW!” she exclaimed, “You’ll hate me for sneezing and snorting so much.”

“I don’t really mind,” Sam said reassuringly, “And I don’t think anyone there is gonna mind either. No one really cares about that class anyway and everyone knows all the pollen around here is killer.”

“Lottie minds. She hates me already,” Berni sobbed. 

“Lottie?”

“My roommate. She gets mad at me. Says I’m gross and that my hay fever messes up her beauty sleep.”

“I think…I think I might have met her,” Sam said, perplexed.

“You did?” Berni asked with a sniff.

“I think she was in my history of journalism class. About yea high, red curly hair and freckles?”

“Yep,” Berni confirmed.

“But she…she just seemed so nice. How could she say something like that to you?”

“Because she’s right. I’m disgusting,” Berni lamented before blowing her nose wetly into Sam’s hanky.

“Right? Of course not. You have allergies. If you didn’t sneeze or blow your nose every once in a while, you’d probably drown!”

This humorous remark did a lot to cheer Berni up, and she let out a cute giggle that sounded much happier than before. “You don’t mind that I’m such a sneezy, sniffly, snotty...heh-HESHIEW!...very sneezy mess?” Berni asked with a cute snort as she wiped her dripping nose. 

“Of course not,” Sam reassured. “Don’t I’ve had plenty of friends with allergies, so I know what I’m getting into. Heck, I’ve been known to be a bit sneezy myself. Why do you think I had that handkerchief with me?”

“Do you have hay fever too?” Berni asked sympathetically.

“No. I’ve got rhinitis, but it's more of the nonallergic kind.”

“What’s that mean?”

“It means that a bunch of things that aren’t allergy related makes me sneeze. Smoke, dust, strong smells, spicy food. Pretty much anything under the sun ironically including the...ah..choo! Ashiew! Hep-Chiew! Including the sun!” they said with a laugh “speak of the devil.”

“Aww,” Berni cooed as she grabbed the handkerchief she had given Sam and used it to wipe the snot on their nose, “that’s gotta suck. I have to say though, I think your sneezes are a lot cuter than mine.”

“Eh, I could take it or leave it. It doesn’t really bother me that much.” Sam explained with a chuckle. “I have to say though, I actually think I like your sneezing better.”

“What?” Berni asked surprised, “Why?”

“Maybe I’ll tell you later. Tell you what, if you come back and help keep me awake through that snore fest of a lecture, then I’ll tell you over some lunch. My treat.”

“Okay,” Berni said with a smile, “It’s nice meeting you Sammy. Thank you for…thank you for helping me.”

“No problem Bern” Sam said with a laugh.

As Sam and Berni quietly snuck back into the lecture hall, neither knew this beautiful –and very sneezy– fall day would blossom into a wonderful, blooming bond. Berni would give Sam a new reason to love their favorite season, but little did Berni know, Sam would give her something even better. 

It was incredible. Very well written. Bernie is so adorable and Sam is such a gentleman, I melted. Looking forward to the sequel.

[Inducer]

I'm not usually into snot/mess/noseblowing, but I really like the dynamic you going between them.  Hope to read more from you and see how their relationship plays out!

[Its All Sternutation]

Omg thank you guys so much for the love. I'm glad you like what I've shared so far : )

I'm gonna try to edit some more so I can post them here in the next few days once I clean up some of the sneeze spellings to be just as good as these. I have some character sheets for these characters that I might post sometime on my tumblr, but I'm not really sure what the rules are when it comes to sharing links to stuff/profiles on other sites. 

[poiub]

This is very sweet ☺️

[a_chilled_pookus]

Wow! Great story. I love that you took the time to develop the characters so that everything that has context. I would love to see more of this and from you in general.

[Its All Sternutation]

Part Two WOOOO!

I'm sorry this took a bit. It takes surprisingly long to convert the stuff I write from a doc into the plain text here lol : ) 

So anyway, without further ado...

 

Berni's Burny Nose Part 2: Hankies and Spice Make Everything Nice

 

The rest of the lecture wasn’t particularly eventful. That is, apart from a few more of the sneezes, sniffles, and blows that came from Berni’s poor nose. However, Sam’s big handkerchief and little smile helped her feel just a little better about each.

Sam was really starting to like Berni. She seemed nice and there was just something about her that made them smile. Besides, she seemed like someone who needed a friend and maybe Sam did too. Secretly, Berni was also really starting to like Sam too. Sam didn't know it but they were the first person Berni met who didn’t make her feel terrible about her sneezing. When the professor concluded his lecture and dismissed the class, Sam and Berni left the lecture hall together. However, before they left, Sam made sure to covertly grab a few extra tissues from a nearby box (with where they planned to take Berni, they had a feeling both of them might need a few tissues).

As the two exited the lecture hall, Berni’s tickly nose remembered it was still terribly allergic to ragweed with an intense “eh…EhgTISHEW! HehtCHOO! heugh…ehg-heh…Heeh-HIEH-HetSHOO!” and a congested snort. “Ugh fugk, I’b so sorry,” she said with a groan before blowing her nose.

“For what?” Sam asked inquisitively.

“For…being all snotty and for…egh…igh…gehg..KISHIOU! And for sneezing everywhere,” she explained stuffily. 

“Bless you. Are your allergies somehow your fault?”

“Ndo,” Berni replied after a long pause, her stuffiness now reaching new heights due to fresh and extended exposure to the pollen outside.

“Then why apologize?”

“Because I feel bad aboud it…” she answered with another snort.

“You shouldn’t” Sam told her, “I bet all the stuffiness and itchiness make you feel bad enough.”

However, with this, Berni stopped dead in her tracks. When Sam realized she did, Sam stopped and turned around to wait for her. They initially thought Berni stopped because she needed to sneeze or blow her nose, but when they looked at her, they realized she was staring at them and looking freshly miserable. 

“Why are…why are you doig thdis?” she asked softly, just above a whisper.

“Doing what?” Sam asked somewhat rhetorically, but also legitimately wanting to know what she felt was wrong.

“Givig mbe your hadkerchief, checkig if I’b okay, takig me to ludnch, blessig mbe…” she listed through the congestion in her nose, “Why are you beig so ndice to mbe even though I’b so igcky?”

“Because we seem like we might have a lot in common and you seemed like you needed someone to be nice to you. I know what that feels like to need that.”

Somewhat shocked and hesitant, Berni began walking with Sam again in silence. There was a long pause between the two before Berni asked, “Where are you eved takig me?” as she wiped her nose with Sam’s hanky, “idt’s not lidke I’ll be able to tasdte anythig with my ndose this blodked and once I startd sneezig again they’re just godda…shidt…AGSHIEW!...godda…ETGSCHEW!...godda tdry tdo CHOO! Hat-TISGHEW! Hik-TCHEW! Ughhhh,” she said with an extra congested groan as her nose became just as snotty and wet on the outside as it was on the inside. “They’re judst goig to kidk me oudt for sneezig all over everythidg.”

“Wow, bless you five times!” Sam interjected somewhat playfully before handing Berni one of the tissues they brought, “have you been around here much?”

Berni blew her nose hard, giving another wet gurgle which transformed into a congested honk before answering, “Ndot really,” in a slightly less congested voice. “My parents brought me here odnce when I was a kid and I rebeber thigkig the cabpus was pretty, thadt’s idt. With all the polled I’b nod sure it's so preddy aymbore.” 

“Well, I’m not from around here, but both my parents went to college here and they told me a few stories and brought me on a few tours. I think I might know a place that can get you some of your consonants back.”

“If idt’s a pharmacy thed idt wod’t be mbuch help. I’b already godt some shidty over the coudter mbedicine that dosed’t work, so unless you cad getd me the prescribtion I’ve beed tryig to get forever thed you might as well just take me badk to my dorb.”

“Nope, though I don’t think getting you an appointment with an allergist would be that difficult. I’m just taking you to a place I think might be able to clear you up a little.”

“Where? HEGSHIEW!” Berni asked before sneezing so suddenly and so snottily she was left unable to cover and got just a little bit on Sam’s fall flannel shirt. “Oh mby god. I-I-I’b so so sorry. I-did’t mead to…to...HIGSHEW! HIT-TISHEW!” she stammered in apology. In that moment, she seemed like she was ready to burst into tears, but her tears were of course interrupted by a duplet of sneezes.

Fearing that Berni’s complete absorption in her allergic misery might cause her to fall, Sam quickly outstretched their arm and used it to support her. “It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s all okay,” they reassured her, “Are you okay?”

Berni stopped for a moment and looked up at Sam with a watery, pitiful look in her eyes. Then, she threw her arms around Sam, thrusted herself into their arms, and burst into tears with a weeping “Ndo!”

Taken aback by Berni’s embrace, there was little Sam could do but hug her back and try to comfort her: “What’s wrong Berni? You can tell me. I won’t judge you.” 

“I haven’t been healthy in forever! I can’t even remember what it feels like anymore!” Berni moaned, “I h…hehhhh…Eggghhh…Egh-TSHIEW! I hate all my shitty hayfever for making me so gross!” she lamented, carefully directing her sneeze away from Sam’s shirt, but not completely sparing it from her spray, “I hate all the ragweed for making me so allergic TCHEW! I hate all the pollen for making me so itchy ah-ASHEE! I hate all my snot for making everyone hate me HISCH! I hate all my friends for avoiding me because I sneeze all the time AKSHIEW! I hate Japan for making me so sensitive ASHOO! And I hate my parents for taking me there! And most of all, I ESHEW! HATE! KISHA! MY! Ehht-SHIEW! DISGUSTING KASHEW! SNEEZING!”

“I…I am so sorry. I am so sorry that you feel so miserable,” Sam said with tears in their eyes as they hugged Berni tighter. Berni tried to struggle and pull herself away to stop her snot from getting on Sam’s shirt, but they kept their hug strong. “I am so sorry that it has been so hard for you to feel good about anything, and I am so sorry that everyone hates you for something you can’t control.” Sam told Berni, sniffling from their tears as they wiped away Berni’s snot with their sleeve despite her protests. 
“I would do anything in the world to make you feel better, and that’s why I’m bringing you out here,” Sam continued. “When my Dad went to college here, he would always go with my mom to this dumpling place where they served these spicy dumplings. When they brought me here, I was sick with a cold and so stuffy, but when I had the dumplings, all the spice cleared me up and I felt better, so here’s what we’re gonna do,” they explained. “We’re gonna go to that dumpling restaurant and you and you’re gonna feel a whole lot better. They’re gonna make both of us sneeze a lot, but they’ll do so much to clear you up. I don’t know how long the relief will last, but it’s the least I can do.”

There was a long silence between the two, and Sam was just about to ask Berni if she was okay again before she quietly asked, “Are they good?”

“They’re amazing,” Sam said, finally wiping tears from their own eyes.

Berni slowly broke away from the hug, but she looked like she felt a lot better. “Okay,” she said, her face slowly breaking into a little smile, “let’s go get some.”
This was only Sam’s second time seeing Berni’s smile. Maybe if they had seen it in a vacuum, they wouldn’t have appreciated it that much, but they knew enough now to know it was the most beautiful thing in the world. It was a simple smile with a myriad of simple messages like “I feel better”, “I’m not hurting anymore”, and “thank you”. 
It took Sam a moment to recollect himself after witnessing this thing of beauty, but not too long. After all, they weren’t finished helping her yet. “Okay,” they reassured her, “It should be just around the corner.”

It only took a few more steps before the restaurant came into view. The smell of spices and cooking lingered in the air outside. The restaurant was fairly small, and it was surrounded by a bunch of other restaurants, including a pizza place, a hibachi grill, a poke place, and a coffee shop. There was also a pharmacy at the other side of the block, but Berni said herself that there wasn’t much they could do for her there without a prescription. None of them seemed busy, as these places normally got most of their traction during dinner and on weekends. On top of the restaurant before them, there was a large sign reading “Hot Dumplings!”

“Sign seems a little on the n…neh-neh-NehSHOO!” Berni said before being interrupted by a particularly wet sneeze, “Sorry, I guess the spice is getting to me already.”

“Bless you,” Sam said with a sniff, the spice starting to get to them too, “Why do you feel like you need to apologize whenever you…hih..Hishew! Sneeze?”

“Because I always feel bad about it,” Berni justified before taking out Sam’s hanky to blow her newly leaking nose.

“You shouldn’t,” Sam told her as they reached for the handkerchief Berni had given them. “It’s normal. No one’s a perfect little doll that never does anything gross,” they reasoned as they blew their nose in the cute blue hanky.

“I bet you’re never gross,” Berni remarked as the two walked into the restaurant.

“Hah, believe me, you wouldn’t be saying that if you’ve ever seen me sick. You should see me at the peak of flu season.”

Not wanting to alarm anyone with their sneezes, handkerchiefs, and their discussion of colds and flu, the two decided to drop the subject as they entered the restaurant.

They were the only ones inside, apart from a man behind the register and a cook lurking in the back. “Three dumplings of each kind, water, and a side of white rice please.” Sam ordered.

“I’ll have the same thing he’s…he’s…HEHSHIEW! Heh-ESHIEW! AhtSHIEW!” Berni attempted to order before letting out three extra productive sneezes into Sam’s soiled handkerchief and looking absolutely mortified.

“Uh…please forgive her. It’s allergy season for her and she’s not quite used to the pollen around here yet –ah-Ah-ACHOO!” Sam lied before sneezing into Berni’s handkerchief.

The cashier did not look particularly pleased, but he seemed more eager to get things over with. “Okay. I’m assuming both of you will be having your food to go. Will that be together and will you be paying cash or card?” he asked flatly.

Berni seemed embarrassed, but Sam quickly took control of the situation with a, “Card please,” and quickly removed a debit card from their wallet. 
It took Berni a moment to realize Sam was about to pay for her meal, but when she did, she quickly rummaged through her bag looking for her own wallet and tried to tell Sam, “Don’t worry. I-I-I can pay for my own food.”

“It’s okay,” Sam reassured, “It’s my treat, remember?”

The cashier only groaned, clearly annoyed both by Sam and Berni’s saccharine display and by what he perceived as their potential to contaminate the restaurant. “Just swipe your card right here, wait way over there, and we’ll get you your food as fast as humanly possible.”

Ignoring this remark, Sam swiped their card, left a particularly large tip to make up for stoking fears of contamination, and gave a warm “thank you.”

“Whatever,” the cashier muttered in response before passing the order sheet back to the employee in the kitchen.”

Sam and Berni both waited at the other side of the restaurant, breathing in the smells of spices in the air and occasionally sneezing, dripping, and blowing into their handkerchiefs. It didn’t take long for their order to come out, and when it did, they quickly took their meals to a picnic table just outside the restaurant. “Wow this is working really well,” Berni told Z through her newly runny nose, “Everything smells so good and I feel so clear. And we haven’t even…Het-TISHOO! We haven’t even eaten anything.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet. Hih-Ishoo!” Sam said with a particularly runny sneeze.

The two sat down, opened their to-go containers, and began to dig in. The dumplings were just as wonderful as Sam remembered and Berni seemed to love them, but it wasn’t long before the sneezing started. Fortunately, both had their handkerchiefs and some tissues ready to nurse their noses. 

The two were about halfway between their meals, both sneezing up a storm and blowing their noses before Berni tried to say something: “These are so…heh..these are so good AGSHOO! HIESHOO! ESHOO! ATCHEW! They’re really good at clearing up my nose too. Thank you so much.” 

“No pro..pro…Choo! Hachew! Hishoo! Achew Hi-CHEW!” Sam replied.

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to finish that. Bless you sweetie. And, I guess bless you for the couple thousand times before that,” Berni replied with a giggle and a “HEESHOO!”

“Whooh, excuse me.” Sam said as they wiped their nose with Berni’s blue hanky. “Hey, not only do you not sound congested anymore, but you didn’t apologize for being sneezy!”

Berni immediately blushed with embarrassment on top of her allergies, and covered her face in her hands, but Sam tried to reassure her: “No no no, that’s good. It means you’re not feeling as self conscious as you were before. Etchoo!” they explained, “you even blessed me and joked about my sneezing.”

Berni slowly brought her hands down from her still-flushed face before quietly saying “I didn’t mean to…”

“No no, Ashew!” Sam interrupted, “it means you’re not feeling as nervous and self-conscious about it. That’s good.”

Berni seemed too shocked to know how to respond, so she did so with a simple “umm…bless you,” before turning back to her food. Both Sam and Berni then focused most of their attention on finishing their meals, each letting out a few drippy, wet sneezes every few bites, before Berni broke the silence again towards the end of her meal:

“What do you even like about my sneezes? Yours are so much quieter and cuter. Mine are always so icky and loud and snotty HIEH-TSHIEW! Wow, that was a strong one.”

“I like them for the same reason I like snowflakes” Sam explained, “Even though each one is less than a second, each is its own unique little work of art. Besides, I like how strong and forceful they are. Each one shows how sensitive, passionate, and unique you are.”

“By ‘passionate’ and 'sensitive', do you mean ‘allergic’? AKSHOO!” Berni asked. “You must want to be an English major or something.”

“That I do. My main plan is to get my degree, become a travel writer after college so that I can travel the world and get some writing experience at the same time, then either write the great American novel or get picked up by some big studio or publisher or something.” Sam recounted 

“That’s cool. I don’t really like traveling that much because it messes with my allergies, but it’s good you can make it part of your job,” Berni told Sam, “My parents both wanted me to go here so I can go to medical school, but I’ve always been really good at programming, I even won some prizes for it back when I was in high school. If I can get my allergies under control and get a coding job that I can work remotely for, then maybe I’ll try to give traveling another chance.”

By this point, the two had finished their dumplings and their sneezing was starting to die down, so Sam decided to start cleaning up: “Well Berni, it was wonderful to meet you and I had a really nice time, but I think both of us should start heading back to the dorms and preparing for our next classes, especially before your nose starts getting stuffed up again.”

“Okay, but can you walk me back to my dorm before we say goodbye?” Berni asked, showing Sam her cute little smile.
Unable to refuse Berni, Sam obliged. The two cleaned up, threw away their trash, and began their walk back to Berni’s dorm. As they began their walk, both Berni and Sam sneezed often, still recovering from the spice, but by the end of their walk, their sneezing had been replaced by animated conversation. 

“...So you’ve lived here in the South your whole life?” Sam asked.

“Yep. In a smaller town about an hour southeast of here,” Berni replied.

“Have you ever visited Japan?”

“I...I don’t really want to talk about Japan. Um…where are you from? I don’t think I ever asked you.”

“Oh, I’m one of “day-um yankees” that burned this place down a hundred and fifty years ago?”

“Ooh, what part of the north are you from? Are you from New York?”

“What, you think every Jewish guy is from New York?”

“What?...n-n-no I-”

“Relax, I’m just messing with you. My family’s from Boston.” 

“Oh, cool. I played Fallout 4 a bunch, so I know a little bit about what Boston looks like,” Berni explained, “Why aren’t you going to learn writing at an Ivy League or something? If you got into here you could definitely get into them, and I bet they have way better departments.”

“Eh, my parents tried to sell me on the fancy New England schools, but they just weren’t for me. They were all too stuck up and pretentious. I like it here better. Everyone’s smart here, but no one’s an ass about it. Besides, this is one of the “Ivy Leagues of the South”, so maybe I am at an Ivy League,” Sam mused.

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” Berni said, “How many times did you rehearse that?”

“Eh, I had to give a similar spiel to all my Uncles and Aunts about why I didn’t want to go where they went. I’m glad you liked it, because they sure didn’t…”
Sam and Berni had become fast friends like it was nothing. Pretty soon, the two had arrived at Berni’s dorm, which Sam noted just so happened to be a few floors up from theirs. They were ready to leave and say goodbye, but just before they did, they realized there was still one last thing they needed to do: “Oh, I almost forgot, here’s your hanky back. Sorry I used a little bit. You’ll have to tell me where you got it sometime because I swear this thing is so damn cute. I’m gonna order like five of them for myself,” they said as they offered Berni the handkerchief she had given them.

“Oh no, you can keep it. I’ve got plenty,” Berni told them. “Do you mind if I keep yours though? It’s got all my snot on it, but I love how big it is. It’s perfect for my big sneezes and blows.”

“Of course,” Sam said, “maybe we can swap more hankies some time.”

“You know what, before you go, I’ve got plenty of time left before my next class. Do you wanna see my hanky collection in my dorm room?” Berni asked.

“Of course,” Sam replied.

Berni removed the key to her dorm from her pocket as she dabbed her nose with her new (albeit now quite grubby) hanky. Unfortunately, she then opened the dorm to reveal it was not as empty as either assumed. Inside was a tall, lanky, redheaded girl rummaging through a dresser whom Sam immediately recognized as Lottie.

Berni was visibly startled by Lottie’s unexpected presence in the room. She immediately moved to try to hide her handkerchief, but Lottie turned around before she could hide it. However, when Lottie turned around, it was not Berni she addressed, but Sam, “Oh, hi Sam, it’s good to see you again,” she said flirtatiously, “I see you’ve already met my roommate…”

“Hi Lottie. Turns out that me and Berni sit next to each other in Latin. I thought the lecture was honestly really boring, but I sat next to Berni and she helped keep me awake through it, so we went to go get some lunch together,” Sam explained as Berni began to frantically wipe her dripping nose with her handkerchief.

“Oh, great,” Lottie said with positivity quickly fading from her voice. “Ew, gross. Where did you get that thing? It looks like a napkin you took out of a restaurant and contaminated with all your wet goop.” 
Clearly deeply shaken by Lottie’s insults to Sam’s handkerchief, Berni tried to step back behind Sam to hide, but her hiding place was given away by a pair of hastily muffled

“Hrppshh! Hmpffshh!”’s 

“Oh, great, now you’re sneezing everywhere. Way to kill a girl’s appetite before lunch Miss Snot Factory.”

“Hey, she has allergies. Allergies suck. She can’t just not be allergic.” Sam told Lottie.

“Yeah, but the least she can do is try to hold it in or take it somewhere else?”

“Hold it in? She can’t hold it in! And where else would she take it? This is her dorm room.”

“What’s a cute boy like you doing with her,” Lottie said, changing the subject as she moved uncomfortably close to Sam.

“Lottie, they’re non-binary,” Berni said through her handkerchief.

“No, it’s okay. I’m okay with boy,” Sam reassured, “But to you Lottie, I’d prefer to just be Sam.”

There was a long uncomfortable silence before Lottie picked up her backpack, slung it over her shoulder, exited the dorm room with a nonchalant, “Okay,” and slammed the door. 

“I…I’m sorry for that,” Berni told Sam.

“For what?”

“She’s just been like that to me since I got here. Never to anyone else. Just…to me,” Berni explained dejectedly.

There was a long pause before Sam told her “You’ve dealt with enough for today. How about you show me your hanky collection.”

“Okay,” Berni said, becoming noticeably happier and giving Sam another momentary glimpse of her wonderful smile.
 

[ShamanBodyan]

On 11/17/2023 at 5:11 AM, Its All Sternutation said:

Part Two WOOOO!

I'm sorry this took a bit. It takes surprisingly long to convert the stuff I write from a doc into the plain text here lol : ) 

So anyway, without further ado...

 

Berni's Burny Nose Part 2: Hankies and Spice Make Everything Nice

 

The rest of the lecture wasn’t particularly eventful. That is, apart from a few more of the sneezes, sniffles, and blows that came from Berni’s poor nose. However, Sam’s big handkerchief and little smile helped her feel just a little better about each.

Sam was really starting to like Berni. She seemed nice and there was just something about her that made them smile. Besides, she seemed like someone who needed a friend and maybe Sam did too. Secretly, Berni was also really starting to like Sam too. Sam didn't know it but they were the first person Berni met who didn’t make her feel terrible about her sneezing. When the professor concluded his lecture and dismissed the class, Sam and Berni left the lecture hall together. However, before they left, Sam made sure to covertly grab a few extra tissues from a nearby box (with where they planned to take Berni, they had a feeling both of them might need a few tissues).

As the two exited the lecture hall, Berni’s tickly nose remembered it was still terribly allergic to ragweed with an intense “eh…EhgTISHEW! HehtCHOO! heugh…ehg-heh…Heeh-HIEH-HetSHOO!” and a congested snort. “Ugh fugk, I’b so sorry,” she said with a groan before blowing her nose.

“For what?” Sam asked inquisitively.

“For…being all snotty and for…egh…igh…gehg..KISHIOU! And for sneezing everywhere,” she explained stuffily. 

“Bless you. Are your allergies somehow your fault?”

“Ndo,” Berni replied after a long pause, her stuffiness now reaching new heights due to fresh and extended exposure to the pollen outside.

“Then why apologize?”

“Because I feel bad aboud it…” she answered with another snort.

“You shouldn’t” Sam told her, “I bet all the stuffiness and itchiness make you feel bad enough.”

However, with this, Berni stopped dead in her tracks. When Sam realized she did, Sam stopped and turned around to wait for her. They initially thought Berni stopped because she needed to sneeze or blow her nose, but when they looked at her, they realized she was staring at them and looking freshly miserable. 

“Why are…why are you doig thdis?” she asked softly, just above a whisper.

“Doing what?” Sam asked somewhat rhetorically, but also legitimately wanting to know what she felt was wrong.

“Givig mbe your hadkerchief, checkig if I’b okay, takig me to ludnch, blessig mbe…” she listed through the congestion in her nose, “Why are you beig so ndice to mbe even though I’b so igcky?”

“Because we seem like we might have a lot in common and you seemed like you needed someone to be nice to you. I know what that feels like to need that.”

Somewhat shocked and hesitant, Berni began walking with Sam again in silence. There was a long pause between the two before Berni asked, “Where are you eved takig me?” as she wiped her nose with Sam’s hanky, “idt’s not lidke I’ll be able to tasdte anythig with my ndose this blodked and once I startd sneezig again they’re just godda…shidt…AGSHIEW!...godda…ETGSCHEW!...godda tdry tdo CHOO! Hat-TISGHEW! Hik-TCHEW! Ughhhh,” she said with an extra congested groan as her nose became just as snotty and wet on the outside as it was on the inside. “They’re judst goig to kidk me oudt for sneezig all over everythidg.”

“Wow, bless you five times!” Sam interjected somewhat playfully before handing Berni one of the tissues they brought, “have you been around here much?”

Berni blew her nose hard, giving another wet gurgle which transformed into a congested honk before answering, “Ndot really,” in a slightly less congested voice. “My parents brought me here odnce when I was a kid and I rebeber thigkig the cabpus was pretty, thadt’s idt. With all the polled I’b nod sure it's so preddy aymbore.” 

“Well, I’m not from around here, but both my parents went to college here and they told me a few stories and brought me on a few tours. I think I might know a place that can get you some of your consonants back.”

“If idt’s a pharmacy thed idt wod’t be mbuch help. I’b already godt some shidty over the coudter mbedicine that dosed’t work, so unless you cad getd me the prescribtion I’ve beed tryig to get forever thed you might as well just take me badk to my dorb.”

“Nope, though I don’t think getting you an appointment with an allergist would be that difficult. I’m just taking you to a place I think might be able to clear you up a little.”

“Where? HEGSHIEW!” Berni asked before sneezing so suddenly and so snottily she was left unable to cover and got just a little bit on Sam’s fall flannel shirt. “Oh mby god. I-I-I’b so so sorry. I-did’t mead to…to...HIGSHEW! HIT-TISHEW!” she stammered in apology. In that moment, she seemed like she was ready to burst into tears, but her tears were of course interrupted by a duplet of sneezes.

Fearing that Berni’s complete absorption in her allergic misery might cause her to fall, Sam quickly outstretched their arm and used it to support her. “It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s all okay,” they reassured her, “Are you okay?”

Berni stopped for a moment and looked up at Sam with a watery, pitiful look in her eyes. Then, she threw her arms around Sam, thrusted herself into their arms, and burst into tears with a weeping “Ndo!”

Taken aback by Berni’s embrace, there was little Sam could do but hug her back and try to comfort her: “What’s wrong Berni? You can tell me. I won’t judge you.” 

“I haven’t been healthy in forever! I can’t even remember what it feels like anymore!” Berni moaned, “I h…hehhhh…Eggghhh…Egh-TSHIEW! I hate all my shitty hayfever for making me so gross!” she lamented, carefully directing her sneeze away from Sam’s shirt, but not completely sparing it from her spray, “I hate all the ragweed for making me so allergic TCHEW! I hate all the pollen for making me so itchy ah-ASHEE! I hate all my snot for making everyone hate me HISCH! I hate all my friends for avoiding me because I sneeze all the time AKSHIEW! I hate Japan for making me so sensitive ASHOO! And I hate my parents for taking me there! And most of all, I ESHEW! HATE! KISHA! MY! Ehht-SHIEW! DISGUSTING KASHEW! SNEEZING!”

“I…I am so sorry. I am so sorry that you feel so miserable,” Sam said with tears in their eyes as they hugged Berni tighter. Berni tried to struggle and pull herself away to stop her snot from getting on Sam’s shirt, but they kept their hug strong. “I am so sorry that it has been so hard for you to feel good about anything, and I am so sorry that everyone hates you for something you can’t control.” Sam told Berni, sniffling from their tears as they wiped away Berni’s snot with their sleeve despite her protests. 
“I would do anything in the world to make you feel better, and that’s why I’m bringing you out here,” Sam continued. “When my Dad went to college here, he would always go with my mom to this dumpling place where they served these spicy dumplings. When they brought me here, I was sick with a cold and so stuffy, but when I had the dumplings, all the spice cleared me up and I felt better, so here’s what we’re gonna do,” they explained. “We’re gonna go to that dumpling restaurant and you and you’re gonna feel a whole lot better. They’re gonna make both of us sneeze a lot, but they’ll do so much to clear you up. I don’t know how long the relief will last, but it’s the least I can do.”

There was a long silence between the two, and Sam was just about to ask Berni if she was okay again before she quietly asked, “Are they good?”

“They’re amazing,” Sam said, finally wiping tears from their own eyes.

Berni slowly broke away from the hug, but she looked like she felt a lot better. “Okay,” she said, her face slowly breaking into a little smile, “let’s go get some.”
This was only Sam’s second time seeing Berni’s smile. Maybe if they had seen it in a vacuum, they wouldn’t have appreciated it that much, but they knew enough now to know it was the most beautiful thing in the world. It was a simple smile with a myriad of simple messages like “I feel better”, “I’m not hurting anymore”, and “thank you”. 
It took Sam a moment to recollect himself after witnessing this thing of beauty, but not too long. After all, they weren’t finished helping her yet. “Okay,” they reassured her, “It should be just around the corner.”

It only took a few more steps before the restaurant came into view. The smell of spices and cooking lingered in the air outside. The restaurant was fairly small, and it was surrounded by a bunch of other restaurants, including a pizza place, a hibachi grill, a poke place, and a coffee shop. There was also a pharmacy at the other side of the block, but Berni said herself that there wasn’t much they could do for her there without a prescription. None of them seemed busy, as these places normally got most of their traction during dinner and on weekends. On top of the restaurant before them, there was a large sign reading “Hot Dumplings!”

“Sign seems a little on the n…neh-neh-NehSHOO!” Berni said before being interrupted by a particularly wet sneeze, “Sorry, I guess the spice is getting to me already.”

“Bless you,” Sam said with a sniff, the spice starting to get to them too, “Why do you feel like you need to apologize whenever you…hih..Hishew! Sneeze?”

“Because I always feel bad about it,” Berni justified before taking out Sam’s hanky to blow her newly leaking nose.

“You shouldn’t,” Sam told her as they reached for the handkerchief Berni had given them. “It’s normal. No one’s a perfect little doll that never does anything gross,” they reasoned as they blew their nose in the cute blue hanky.

“I bet you’re never gross,” Berni remarked as the two walked into the restaurant.

“Hah, believe me, you wouldn’t be saying that if you’ve ever seen me sick. You should see me at the peak of flu season.”

Not wanting to alarm anyone with their sneezes, handkerchiefs, and their discussion of colds and flu, the two decided to drop the subject as they entered the restaurant.

They were the only ones inside, apart from a man behind the register and a cook lurking in the back. “Three dumplings of each kind, water, and a side of white rice please.” Sam ordered.

“I’ll have the same thing he’s…he’s…HEHSHIEW! Heh-ESHIEW! AhtSHIEW!” Berni attempted to order before letting out three extra productive sneezes into Sam’s soiled handkerchief and looking absolutely mortified.

“Uh…please forgive her. It’s allergy season for her and she’s not quite used to the pollen around here yet –ah-Ah-ACHOO!” Sam lied before sneezing into Berni’s handkerchief.

The cashier did not look particularly pleased, but he seemed more eager to get things over with. “Okay. I’m assuming both of you will be having your food to go. Will that be together and will you be paying cash or card?” he asked flatly.

Berni seemed embarrassed, but Sam quickly took control of the situation with a, “Card please,” and quickly removed a debit card from their wallet. 
It took Berni a moment to realize Sam was about to pay for her meal, but when she did, she quickly rummaged through her bag looking for her own wallet and tried to tell Sam, “Don’t worry. I-I-I can pay for my own food.”

“It’s okay,” Sam reassured, “It’s my treat, remember?”

The cashier only groaned, clearly annoyed both by Sam and Berni’s saccharine display and by what he perceived as their potential to contaminate the restaurant. “Just swipe your card right here, wait way over there, and we’ll get you your food as fast as humanly possible.”

Ignoring this remark, Sam swiped their card, left a particularly large tip to make up for stoking fears of contamination, and gave a warm “thank you.”

“Whatever,” the cashier muttered in response before passing the order sheet back to the employee in the kitchen.”

Sam and Berni both waited at the other side of the restaurant, breathing in the smells of spices in the air and occasionally sneezing, dripping, and blowing into their handkerchiefs. It didn’t take long for their order to come out, and when it did, they quickly took their meals to a picnic table just outside the restaurant. “Wow this is working really well,” Berni told Z through her newly runny nose, “Everything smells so good and I feel so clear. And we haven’t even…Het-TISHOO! We haven’t even eaten anything.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet. Hih-Ishoo!” Sam said with a particularly runny sneeze.

The two sat down, opened their to-go containers, and began to dig in. The dumplings were just as wonderful as Sam remembered and Berni seemed to love them, but it wasn’t long before the sneezing started. Fortunately, both had their handkerchiefs and some tissues ready to nurse their noses. 

The two were about halfway between their meals, both sneezing up a storm and blowing their noses before Berni tried to say something: “These are so…heh..these are so good AGSHOO! HIESHOO! ESHOO! ATCHEW! They’re really good at clearing up my nose too. Thank you so much.” 

“No pro..pro…Choo! Hachew! Hishoo! Achew Hi-CHEW!” Sam replied.

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to finish that. Bless you sweetie. And, I guess bless you for the couple thousand times before that,” Berni replied with a giggle and a “HEESHOO!”

“Whooh, excuse me.” Sam said as they wiped their nose with Berni’s blue hanky. “Hey, not only do you not sound congested anymore, but you didn’t apologize for being sneezy!”

Berni immediately blushed with embarrassment on top of her allergies, and covered her face in her hands, but Sam tried to reassure her: “No no no, that’s good. It means you’re not feeling as self conscious as you were before. Etchoo!” they explained, “you even blessed me and joked about my sneezing.”

Berni slowly brought her hands down from her still-flushed face before quietly saying “I didn’t mean to…”

“No no, Ashew!” Sam interrupted, “it means you’re not feeling as nervous and self-conscious about it. That’s good.”

Berni seemed too shocked to know how to respond, so she did so with a simple “umm…bless you,” before turning back to her food. Both Sam and Berni then focused most of their attention on finishing their meals, each letting out a few drippy, wet sneezes every few bites, before Berni broke the silence again towards the end of her meal:

“What do you even like about my sneezes? Yours are so much quieter and cuter. Mine are always so icky and loud and snotty HIEH-TSHIEW! Wow, that was a strong one.”

“I like them for the same reason I like snowflakes” Sam explained, “Even though each one is less than a second, each is its own unique little work of art. Besides, I like how strong and forceful they are. Each one shows how sensitive, passionate, and unique you are.”

“By ‘passionate’ and 'sensitive', do you mean ‘allergic’? AKSHOO!” Berni asked. “You must want to be an English major or something.”

“That I do. My main plan is to get my degree, become a travel writer after college so that I can travel the world and get some writing experience at the same time, then either write the great American novel or get picked up by some big studio or publisher or something.” Sam recounted 

“That’s cool. I don’t really like traveling that much because it messes with my allergies, but it’s good you can make it part of your job,” Berni told Sam, “My parents both wanted me to go here so I can go to medical school, but I’ve always been really good at programming, I even won some prizes for it back when I was in high school. If I can get my allergies under control and get a coding job that I can work remotely for, then maybe I’ll try to give traveling another chance.”

By this point, the two had finished their dumplings and their sneezing was starting to die down, so Sam decided to start cleaning up: “Well Berni, it was wonderful to meet you and I had a really nice time, but I think both of us should start heading back to the dorms and preparing for our next classes, especially before your nose starts getting stuffed up again.”

“Okay, but can you walk me back to my dorm before we say goodbye?” Berni asked, showing Sam her cute little smile.
Unable to refuse Berni, Sam obliged. The two cleaned up, threw away their trash, and began their walk back to Berni’s dorm. As they began their walk, both Berni and Sam sneezed often, still recovering from the spice, but by the end of their walk, their sneezing had been replaced by animated conversation. 

“...So you’ve lived here in the South your whole life?” Sam asked.

“Yep. In a smaller town about an hour southeast of here,” Berni replied.

“Have you ever visited Japan?”

“I...I don’t really want to talk about Japan. Um…where are you from? I don’t think I ever asked you.”

“Oh, I’m one of “day-um yankees” that burned this place down a hundred and fifty years ago?”

“Ooh, what part of the north are you from? Are you from New York?”

“What, you think every Jewish guy is from New York?”

“What?...n-n-no I-”

“Relax, I’m just messing with you. My family’s from Boston.” 

“Oh, cool. I played Fallout 4 a bunch, so I know a little bit about what Boston looks like,” Berni explained, “Why aren’t you going to learn writing at an Ivy League or something? If you got into here you could definitely get into them, and I bet they have way better departments.”

“Eh, my parents tried to sell me on the fancy New England schools, but they just weren’t for me. They were all too stuck up and pretentious. I like it here better. Everyone’s smart here, but no one’s an ass about it. Besides, this is one of the “Ivy Leagues of the South”, so maybe I am at an Ivy League,” Sam mused.

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” Berni said, “How many times did you rehearse that?”

“Eh, I had to give a similar spiel to all my Uncles and Aunts about why I didn’t want to go where they went. I’m glad you liked it, because they sure didn’t…”
Sam and Berni had become fast friends like it was nothing. Pretty soon, the two had arrived at Berni’s dorm, which Sam noted just so happened to be a few floors up from theirs. They were ready to leave and say goodbye, but just before they did, they realized there was still one last thing they needed to do: “Oh, I almost forgot, here’s your hanky back. Sorry I used a little bit. You’ll have to tell me where you got it sometime because I swear this thing is so damn cute. I’m gonna order like five of them for myself,” they said as they offered Berni the handkerchief she had given them.

“Oh no, you can keep it. I’ve got plenty,” Berni told them. “Do you mind if I keep yours though? It’s got all my snot on it, but I love how big it is. It’s perfect for my big sneezes and blows.”

“Of course,” Sam said, “maybe we can swap more hankies some time.”

“You know what, before you go, I’ve got plenty of time left before my next class. Do you wanna see my hanky collection in my dorm room?” Berni asked.

“Of course,” Sam replied.

Berni removed the key to her dorm from her pocket as she dabbed her nose with her new (albeit now quite grubby) hanky. Unfortunately, she then opened the dorm to reveal it was not as empty as either assumed. Inside was a tall, lanky, redheaded girl rummaging through a dresser whom Sam immediately recognized as Lottie.

Berni was visibly startled by Lottie’s unexpected presence in the room. She immediately moved to try to hide her handkerchief, but Lottie turned around before she could hide it. However, when Lottie turned around, it was not Berni she addressed, but Sam, “Oh, hi Sam, it’s good to see you again,” she said flirtatiously, “I see you’ve already met my roommate…”

“Hi Lottie. Turns out that me and Berni sit next to each other in Latin. I thought the lecture was honestly really boring, but I sat next to Berni and she helped keep me awake through it, so we went to go get some lunch together,” Sam explained as Berni began to frantically wipe her dripping nose with her handkerchief.

“Oh, great,” Lottie said with positivity quickly fading from her voice. “Ew, gross. Where did you get that thing? It looks like a napkin you took out of a restaurant and contaminated with all your wet goop.” 
Clearly deeply shaken by Lottie’s insults to Sam’s handkerchief, Berni tried to step back behind Sam to hide, but her hiding place was given away by a pair of hastily muffled

“Hrppshh! Hmpffshh!”’s 

“Oh, great, now you’re sneezing everywhere. Way to kill a girl’s appetite before lunch Miss Snot Factory.”

“Hey, she has allergies. Allergies suck. She can’t just not be allergic.” Sam told Lottie.

“Yeah, but the least she can do is try to hold it in or take it somewhere else?”

“Hold it in? She can’t hold it in! And where else would she take it? This is her dorm room.”

“What’s a cute boy like you doing with her,” Lottie said, changing the subject as she moved uncomfortably close to Sam.

“Lottie, they’re non-binary,” Berni said through her handkerchief.

“No, it’s okay. I’m okay with boy,” Sam reassured, “But to you Lottie, I’d prefer to just be Sam.”

There was a long uncomfortable silence before Lottie picked up her backpack, slung it over her shoulder, exited the dorm room with a nonchalant, “Okay,” and slammed the door. 

“I…I’m sorry for that,” Berni told Sam.

“For what?”

“She’s just been like that to me since I got here. Never to anyone else. Just…to me,” Berni explained dejectedly.

There was a long pause before Sam told her “You’ve dealt with enough for today. How about you show me your hanky collection.”

“Okay,” Berni said, becoming noticeably happier and giving Sam another momentary glimpse of her wonderful smile.
 

Berni is so sweet. I really like where everything is going.

[Its All Sternutation]

Part Three Wheeeee!

I'm sorry this one took a bit longer for me to publish. I had a lot of stuff come up. Anyway, here's part 3

Berni's Burny Nose Part 3: A Change of Season

Ever since she started being sneezy, Berni thought she would hate the seasons for the rest of her life.
Spring was the month where it had all hit her, and the southern pollen sure hadn’t helped. Ever since her diagnosis, Berni had always sneezed and sniffled and sneezed and sniffled all the way from February to May. Summer wasn’t that much better. From April to June, Berni’s nose ran, her eyes watered, and both itched. And of course, there was always more sneezing. Berni had done the math and found that out of the entire year, the only times when nothing was actively blooming were December, January, Early February, and July, but even then she usually had some kind of lingering irritation. Regardless, Berni would have resigned herself to perpetual allergic misery even in those months if she did not have to suffer through fall. 

She hated the Fall. It was by far her worst season for her allergies, even if it only slightly outpaced her suffering in Summer and Spring. However, there were two decisive factors which made fall the greatest belligerent of her three pollen seasons: the start of the new school year and cold and flu season.
Like clockwork, Fall dredged up not only Berni’s hay fever, but her insecurities about it. From the year she developed her allergies, it seemed like every year the people around her found them even more insufferable to be around. All the people who she once thought were her best friends for life seemed to trickle away year after year, and Berni’s first year of college perfectly exemplified this. She had come to college with no friends, with only her allergic misery to keep her company.
However, as it was also now cold and flu season, Berni knew it was all about to get even worse. Something about Berni’s hay fever, the sleep she lost because of it, and endless worrying she did about it made it so that Berni had been extra susceptible to getting sick ever since she developed allergies. She always seemed to get frequent colds, especially in winter, when she should be convalescing from her fall allergies, and they always made her even more miserable and gross. 
Berni was always snotty because of her allergies, but was almost always very fluid. She would be congested, then she would sneeze and blow it out, then new congestion would take its place, but having a cold always disrupted this cycle.

The mucus in her sinuses would always harden like cement, becoming almost impossible to dislodge without taking decongestants, but those always dried her up and made her snot come out in thick globs. She would become tired, even more so than with her allergies, and she would always develop a deep sinus headache. Worst of all, the mucus would never just stay in her nose, it would usually make its way to her chest, or linger in her sinuses enough for her to develop a sinus infection. 

“Hey Bern…”

She would be miserable, and of course, no one would want to be around her. Why would they be? By the time she started college, she didn’t care anymore. She had already resigned herself to the fact that she’d always be alone.

“Berni are you okay?”

Berni snapped herself out of the allergic fugue she had been sinking into. She had been sinking into it a lot lately and normally didn’t even care about it, but she couldn’t do it now. She was with Sam and they were in the middle of the dining hall: “Huh?” she asked in dreary confusion.

“Are you doing okay?” Sam asked with concern in their voice, “you kind of drifted off a bit there.”

Of all the people to enter Berni’s life and make her feel terrible about herself, Sam was by far the most unexpected. The day she met them was going very consistently (groggy allergic misery mixed with severe feelings of loneliness) until that Latin class. Berni had met more than a few people on that first day of class, but something about Sam was…different. “I-I’m okay. I’m just…I’m just a little tired. That’s all” she reassured them.

Since she’d developed her allergies, Berni had heard more than her fair share of passive-aggressive “bless you”s and frustrated offers of tissues, but Sam was different. They had seen Berni when she was at her most pathetic and miserable and they hadn’t just offered her their handkerchief, they took her out to lunch. “You’ve been tired a lot lately, haven’t you?” Sam asked.

It had been a few weeks since then, and since then, but those weeks had been some of the most wonderful weeks of her life. She hadn’t needed to worry about her parents or her “friends” anymore, and Sam had done nothing but make her happy. They had hung out with her, they had asked her about what she liked and what she was interested in, they had sat there and listened intently to her explain how programming worked when she knew that they didn’t understand a thing she was saying. “Listed…Samb…I’mb sorry aboudt whadt happed the day we mbet,” Berni said stuffily and apologetically.

These last few weeks with Sam had been…amazing. Being with them didn't just make Berni feel the way she did before she had allergies, it made her feel better. She had been able to open up to him like she hadn’t been able to in years, even when her allergies were bad. Around them, she was able to be the smiling, happy, talkative girl that she had always been inside. Even when she sneezed or snuffled or blew her nose, they were always just right there, not going anywhere, ready to give a “bless you” and a smile. “What are you sorry about?” Sam asked, confused.

But over the past few days, Berni had started to wonder if maybe that amazing feeling would come to an end, that when her allergies picked up (which they were) or when she got sick (which she would) that…he’d be repulsed and turn away…just like everyone else. She couldn’t exactly blame him. She knew how she must have looked. “For breaking down while you were bringing me to the dumpling place,” Berni explained gloomily before blowing her nose into a handkerchief that was formerly one of Sam’s and now one of hers, “I shouldn’t have gotten all…cliggy and ndeedy…like that.”

“Oh,” Sam said with startling realization. “It…It’s okay,” they reassured, “I was just glad that I was able to make you feel better.”

“I had just met you. I was still practically still a stranger to you!” Berni said with a frog in her throat.

“Well, you’re not a stranger now. I like you Berni, I really do. You’re funny and cute. I love how passionate you are about everything you do, even if you try to hide it. I love how insanely good you are at coding stuff even though, for the life of me, I will never be able to understand what the heck a constructor is,”

Berni only sighed and turned back towards poking the food she was too muddled to be hungry for. There was a long, uncomfortable pause before Sam broke the silence:

“Listen…Bern…I’ve been thinking,” they said apprehensively.

“Yeah?” Berni asked, looking up at them, voice congested, ready for the worst.

“I know your allergies have been making you feel pretty terrible over the past few days, and I-”

“I-I-I-I’m…f…fine,” Berni stuttered anxiously before forcefully clearing her throat.

“I know you’re not fine Berni. I know you’ve been feeling worse lately. You’ve been rubbing your eyes more, you’ve been stuffier, and I can tell you haven’t been sleeping as much.”

Berni groaned miserably and put her face in her hands.

“Hey, it’s okay. Look at me,” Sam said as they tried to coax Berni out of her hiding place in the sleeves of her hoodie. “I’ve been talking to my roommate, and he told me he’s in an English class with a guy who’s family also works in the university medical system, and he says that he can get you an appointment at an allergist that’s right here on campus.”

“You told them about my hay fever?” Berni asked with panic in her voice.

“I just told them that I had a friend with some bad allergies that could use some help from a Doctor, and he told me that if he had your information, he could get you an appointment as soon as tomorrow.”

“I…I can’t,” Berni muttered.

“Why not?” Sam asked, “I know you need it. I could get permission to take you there during Latin class and we can get lunch together afterwards. We could make a day of it.”

“They’ll…they’re gonna wanna test me to find out what all my allergies are and how bad they are. They’ll make me take off my shirt so they can prick me with a bunch of needles with all the stuff they think I might be allergic to and it’s gonna make me break out in hives,” Berni explained glumly and congestedly. “Plus…they’re gonna make me…talk about them…”

“Talk?” Sam asked.

Berni slowly nodded her head in confirmation. 

“Is there something that happened with them that you don’t want to talk about?”

Berni nodded again.

“Was it something to do with…Japan?” Sam asked.

Berni nodded again, this time, with a sob.

“Well…how about you tell me first? That way, if it gets too much for you, I won’t mind, and you can stop at any time.” 

“I ca…c..ah…Ah…AHH-TSCHIEW! I’m sorry!” Berni said before being interrupted with a violent sneeze and a muffled sob.

“Why not? There’s no one else around. Besides, I won’t mind if it ends up like the first time we went to get dumplings.” 

There was a long pause as Berni thought it over. She spent several minutes waiting and contemplating whether or not she should tell Sam, but her contemplation was interrupted by a harsh, throaty “HASHOO!” straight into her hands. “Sorry,” she apologized as she wiped herself off with her hanky.

“You’re fine, I know you can’t help it.”

When she finished wiping her nose, Berni paused, before turning towards Sam. Berni’s beautiful amber eyes were just as pink, irritated, and watery as her nose. Her cheeks were flushed, both from the embarrassment and from her allergies, but regardless, she decided that she had to tell them. 

“I only started having them really bad a few years ago.” she related with a dejected, congested sniffle.

“Did something happen?” Sam asked.

Berni stopped to give her nose a quick gurgle before continuing: “Fall always made me a bit itchy, but it was never a big deal. I played sports and did all that other stuff and even though I might have IGK-CHIEW! sneezed a few times. It was never that bad, but a few years ago, my parents decided that they needed to…HITCHEW!...take me to Japan because I hadn’t…heh-Heh-SHEW!...been before.”

“What happened?” Sam asked.

“Well-” she was about to continue, but stopped when she realized that in the span of a moment, she had already become congested again. She made a sound that sounded like halfway between a sniff and a snort, before continuing despite the congestion. “The first time they took me there was during fall break, and…ASHIEW!...sorry…while I was there, I caught a cold. At least, we thought it was a cold. My nose got all red and itchy and snotty, and I started…eh-Eh-Eh-ESHOO! Eh-CHOO! sneezing like crazy. I felt horrible, but we stayed anyway. When we got home, I started…ATSHIEW!...sorry…I started getting better, but I was still sneezing. I started not sleeping so great and people started…avoiding me.” 

At this point, she was crying. Regardless, Sam only got closer to her. They wrapped their arm around her in a comforting half-hug. “That sounds terrible,” they told the allergic girl with pity in their voice.

“When they took me back in January, I caught another cold. It wasn’t as bad as the first one, but when we got home, it took me a bi…bi…TISHIEW! HEKSHIEW! HAT-SHIEW!...it took me a bit longer to get better. Then, when they took me again for spring break and we stayed a bit longer ASHEW!, I caught one again HIGSHEW!, but when they brought me home CHOO!, I didn’t get better ETCHIEW!. I was itching and sneezing just like I am now for a whole month before they took me to a doctor and…he told me…he told me that…”

“It wasn’t a cold.”

“Yeah…” she said with a sob, “He said that the pollen in Japan is so bad that it can make people…At-TSHIEW!...who normally have almost no allergies or even no allergies at all HEESHOO!...sorry…hypersensitive! Ragweed, which I was already a little bit ECHEW! sensitive to, is really bad there, but the big bad one is called CATCHEW! Sugi or Japanese Aht-SHOO! Cedar. Those were the ones that got me and now I…I…ah-Ah-AH-Ahtshiee! Now I’m allergic to everything!” she lamented with a wet blow.

“Like, ‘everything’ everything?”

“Everything!” she nearly shouted, “Ragweed Het-TISH!, grass ET-CHI!, trees ATSHEW!, everything! I sneeze all spring, summer, and fall from the pollen, but that’s not the worst of it. The worst is whed I ged sick.” she recounted, congestion now filling her voice.

“What happens?” Sam asked worryingly.

“Eved id the modts where there’s not ady polled, ever sidce I got hay fever I’ve always had these awful colds every widter add fall. Mby sdeezes becobe eved grosser, butd the sdot ndever leaves by dose, and idt feels like itd lasts forever…”

“You sound like you need to blow your nose, but what does that have to do with going to an allergist?” Sam asked. 

Berni stopped to give a wet gurgling blow. However, during her blow she was interrupted by three sharp, throaty sneezes, so she blew again. This time with a loud honk. When she looked up to answer Sam, her voice was still full of tears: “I can’t let you see me when my allergies get worse, or when I get sick. Pretty soon, you’re finally gonna realize how much of a gross mess I am and when you do you’ll tell me to stop. You’ll tell me to just stifle it or hold it in and stop being so dramatic. And when I can’t do that…you’ll leave. Just like all my friends did.”

There was a short gasp of realization from Sam before they suddenly threw their arms around Berni and embraced her. When they did, Berni squirmed and tried to protest with a “What? No!” before being completely disarmed by a loud “hehhh….heh-Heh-HETCHIEW! I’m sorry!” but before she could sneeze or protest again, Sam pulled her poor stuffy head into the shoulder of their flannel so that she could muffle two wet “heh-Eh-HmpfSHH! HrppSHH!” sneezes into it. “Why?” Berni cried out. “My hay fever is just gonna keep pushing you away!”

“No it’s not Berni,” Sam reassured her, “I’m never going let your allergies push me away, I’m never going to ask you to hold it in, and I’m not going to leave you just because you sneeze. I like you Berni! You’re my friend. I’m not gonna anything get in the way of being friends with you, not even allergies.”

“Or a cold?” 

“Or a cold,” Sam reassured.

There was a silence in which Sam and Berni did nothing but hold each other in their arms, before Berni asked, “After I go to the allergist, can you take me to get dumplings again?”

“Of course,” Sam said.

“Can we go Wednesday?” Berni asked with a sniffle, “I have a test in my Modern Literature class after Latin.”

“Oh course Berni, but could you do me one favor?”
“Sure,” she replied

“If you can, do you think you could try to stop apologizing for your sneezes?”
“Why?” Berni asked.

“You don’t have anything to apologize to me for. And…it sometimes makes me a little uncomfortable.

“Okay…ih-Ih-ITCHEW!...sorry,” she replied before realizing her mistake with a gasp, “I’m sorry for saying sorry! I didn’t mean to-”

"No no no, Berni it’s okay,” Sam reassured. “I know you didn’t mean to. Maybe we should pick something else instead that doesn’t sound as apologetic.”

“Like what? hah-Heh-HEH-HESHIEW!” Berni asked before sneezing again. “Hey, I didn’t say it this time.”

“Hmm…” Sam wondered, “What about ‘excuse me’? It sounds so much more fun and silly than ‘sorry’. It’s kind of funny, like it's something we can laugh about”

“Hmmm…” Berni thought, but her sounds of pondering quickly transformed into yet another “hihh-Hih-HEH-HEETCHIEW!” followed by a tired “Sor…I mean…excuse me.”

“Yeah, like that. You shouldn't be all apologetic about...”

But before they could finish, Berni was of course interrupted yet again: “ATCHIEW!” Berni sneezed suddenly with a “AHH-SHEW! TEECHIEW! ACKSHOO!” she sneezed harshly before giving a small chuckle and a “Whew, excuse me.”

“That’s more like it,” Sam said with a slight smile.

“Oka..kuh…Kuh…Kuh…” she started as she began building up to what she knew would be an absolutely colossal sneeze, even for her standards. “Kuh-KUH-KATSHOOOO!” she sneezed out. Just an hour ago, this sneeze would’ve made Berni want to crawl into a hole and die, but for some reason, something about the way Sam was looking out at her made her want to laugh about it. “Wow, that was a big one. Excuse me!” she said before bursting into a fit of giggles

Instead of being disgusted, Sam’s smile only grew warmer as they gave Berni a “Bless you a bunch sweetie. Do you feel better now?”

“A lot better,” Berni said as she took out the big white hanky and began cleaning herself up and giving her nose a wet honk, “But I’d still like to go see that allergist with you. Does tomorrow during Latin still work for you?”

“Of course Berni.” Sam assured.

[william]

that was a great story! any chance to see a "part 4"?

[Juniebee]

This is amazing. I love the revelation that her health hasn't always been this bad- I was kind of wondering why her parents didn't take her to the allergist. If you're open to ideas:

 

Can we have Sam make a suggestion to her?

 

So, Bernie probably breathes in all that pollen while she walks outside. Can we have Sam suggest she go to the bathroom to let out her sneezes before class, so she feels less self conscious?  Or they suggest she wear a mask of some kind?

 

That would just..be...hnnnn. Even cuter. 

[Saimou]

Very cute story; and I would just LOVE TO see continuation to this. I can hardly wait. I am in love with Berni, and I don’t think I’m the only one. I would totally act like Sam, in these situations. 

Edited February 8 by Saimou
More substance.

[Tinkerhell]

I mean אני מדברת עברית רע aval don’t you leave the vowels in when you’re transliterating it? Crud if you’re not supposed to do that I’ve been screwing it up always and forever. Which tracks I guess

[clxy]

Oh my goodness this story is…amazing. I hope there is a part 3