Lack of activity on the forum

[Guest]

On 11/30/2023 at 5:06 PM, Chiguy said:

Don’t know on what you’re basing that, or even how you think you have the wherewithal to attempt the evaluation.
As with your claim we don’t protect minors, it’s more of your uninformed opinion that seems to stem from your general dissatisfaction with how the site his run.
Since most members are happy, and want more here rather than less, perhaps the problem is with you?

 

I feel like you probably have enough evidence that the validation process is not perfect for me to not need to rehearse the problems with it. You know it annoys people. You have also improved things in the last year - thank you.

As for protecting vulnerable people and minors, again there are other posts about this you can read, and again things have gotten a bit better in the last few years. But ultimately this community is willing to sanction fetish mining of other people's content without consent and is happy for compilations including minors and other vulnerable people to float around the system. 

I have been a mod here (briefly and many years ago) and also on other non-kink sites, and I work in sectors which include both internet safety and general safeguarding, so I am quite well-placed to evaluate. And you are right that the majority of vocal posters don't complain much about these issues. That could suggest they're happy with it.

But it's 2023. Assuming that blindly isn't good enough. 

Edited December 2, 2023 by Shining Light
Can't spell

[Guest]

9 hours ago, webmeistro said:

I'm personally not a huge fan of a Reddit-ish 'karma' system, it generally leads to people gaming it.

100% agree. Happens on every site with a rep system.

[Guest]

39 minutes ago, Reader said:

I would agree with you that part of the problem with lack of activity on the forum is lack of excitement. And it’s true that excitement can wane if there is a difficult validation process. 

And in the recent past, like a year or two ago, there wasn’t a good system in place because it would be one admin that had the authority to do everything and mods that just did the basic stuff with little authority. But then the admin got burnt out and left which stopped all validations for a long time. 

Then Cake stepped up and she did the admin stuff and got rid of the backlog but it took a while so those at the end of the line, meaning those that signed up the latest, waited a long time. Months and months. Which you probably got caught in that. And then we managed to catch up. 

Then we added more admin and more staff and Mr. G set up a system to generate all the unvalidated people in a list that we go through monthly. Perhaps we can go through it twice a month. If done right, the validation process should take anywhere from 10 days to a month to get the 50 posts. 

So currently, there shouldn’t be any issues now where a person would wait months unless they just don’t reach the 50 posts, which we’ve said doesn’t help engagement anyways.
If someone has the 50 posts and they’re not validated, it’s because they have a warning on their account, or they exhibited some unsettling behavior that added time to the validation process, or they post padded, or they just slipped through the system and staff missed it. And usually those people send us a message and say, hey I think I slipped through the cracks and we immediately validate. 
 

I think lots of members want the forum to be active again and hopefully we can all put our minds together and come up with solutions. Perhaps themed writing stories or more topics that produce engagement like book clubs, or movie night discussions, or coming up with topics that bring about more meaningful, deep convos, etc. 

All good points and your last paragraph might work. I would say also non-kink art or creative prompts for people who don't want to write.

[Guest]

21 minutes ago, SleepingPhlox said:

It's very important, and a really good thing about here.  Other places around the internet, you get minors completely disregarding adults' boundaries and following or interacting anyway, and it's frustrating to catch them and block them.

I'll end my burst of activity by agreeing with this. Theoretically that is the advantage of the forum's current system vs somewhere like Tumblr. It also takes the onus off of users to have to curate who they interact with.

[Likesn]

1 hour ago, SleepingPhlox said:

You get out what you put in, y'all.  A community is not a community without people.  There are a few enthusiastic and active people but they only stay that way if they get engagement with what they put out.  You want stories to read? Comment on the stories that people do post! You want media clips? Thank the people who hunt them out and post them! Connect! Talk! Share! The advantage that a place like a forum has over other types of sites is that you can dip in and out when you have time and mental space, you don't need to be fully present all the time or you'll miss out.  You can find cool stories from a month ago, or a topic from a couple weeks ago.  (Just don't comment on something from two years ago, or we'll all scream ) 

Amen 🙏

[Chanel_no5]

1 hour ago, SleepingPhlox said:

GOD YES that's such a fun thing.

But the thing about events or trying to start things to get people involved is that it can be SO disheartening when people don't join in.  Or say they are going to join in and then don't follow through (I was thinking about restarting the Secret Santa this year, but then I remembered how much it sucked when SO MANY people flaked the last year I did it, how many people diligently worked on a story only to be screwed over.)

Right?? I loved it! And it's also good for the same reason as you continued with, because it doesn't have the same impact if someone flakes on a thing like that compared to when people flake on Secret Santa. Though it's more awesome if more people join in and follow through, obviously!  

I also have to say this, wasn't the last Secret Santa right when the pandemic was at its height? We were all in a very strange state of mind, especially when in relation to things like illness/sneezing, and while lockdowns on paper could have been good for creating, truth is, most of us were too traumatized and confused to really have much creativity in us even if we had the time. And the other half were considered essential workers and were even more overworked than usual, and even more traumatized. And the world hasn't exactly calmed down and become a safer place since then, plus it's always easier to get used to NOT doing something than to do it, so I really hope you don't put any blame on yourself for that. You tried your hardest to keep a piece of normality going, but not everyone had that in them.  

 

1 hour ago, Reader said:

@Chanel_no5 Ohhhhhhhhhhh that would be a great jumpstart! Okay I’ll put something together very soon!

OMG that sounds awesome!!   (also, yes, it was 1 prompt, hahaha, I thought of each part of the prompt as its own prompt, sorry about the mixup!  )

 

 

ETA: Anyone else think it's ironic that this thread, about lack of activitiy, has so much activity?  

 

Edited December 2, 2023 by Chanel_no5

[Reader]

Hahahahahahaha no worries @Chanel_no5 I didn’t even remember the actual name until I searched up the topic. So in 2018, we had 5 authors. In 2019, we had 10. If we give people enough notice, we should be able to have more people this year! But at the very least there will be 3 authors! You, me, and Sleeping Phlox.

[peach2218]

I found this place when I was 12 and first discovered that what I was “inflicted” with was a fetish, and it helped me so much with learning to start accepting myself, but now at 27 I agree that there needs to be strict monitoring of who can post here. 
I think the youth boards were a good idea, but it does gross me out when I’m going back through old observations trying to find material I haven’t read yet and coming across something that was clearly written by/about a minor. 
Hard to find a balance between wanting struggling young people to learn about themselves, and wanting to keep this a safe and non-creepy site. 

[Likesn]

2 hours ago, Chanel_no5 said:

ETA: Anyone else think it's ironic that this thread, about lack of activitiy, has so much activity?  

I had the exact same thought earlier today 🤣

[SleepingPhlox]

19 minutes ago, peach2218 said:

Hard to find a balance between wanting struggling young people to learn about themselves, and wanting to keep this a safe and non-creepy site. 

It's very much about keeping minors safe - there are a lot of creepy people with bad intentions on the internet looking to prey on young folks.  BUT at the same time it's also important for the adults, too.

Hey, I grew up knowing I was bisexual from a very early age, I KNOW how important it is to be able to learn about aspects of yourself that may not be mainstream.  BUT, not every adult is comfortable being a part of someone's awakening and discovery.  Not every adult consents to being a part of someone's awakening and discovery, and not every adult should be expected to be a part of someone's awakening and discovery.  And the thing is with places such as Tumblr, adults explicity say that they do not consent to interacting with minors in that way, and minors still do it anyway.

Anyone can read here without an account, and anyone who is looking for understanding about that part of themselves can see this place, see the discussions that are going on, and come to an understanding about themselves.  And I think that's still very valuable, while maintaining the boundaries that are in place for protecting both groups.

That's my take on the whole thing anyway!

[Inducer]

4 hours ago, sneezysunshine said:

Cause when I find an author I like it can sometimes require some digging to find other works in their activity, which you cannot even see until you're validated (I think??). I'm also super aware that there might be functions that make it easier and it's just me not having found them yet, so I'm sorry if that's the case haha. I also sometimes feel unsure of whenever I do find something that was posted a while ago, if it's still okay to comment on it, so most of the time I just don't since I don't want to break any rules on accident. 

YES!  This is where I have gotten a little stuck.  I'd love to be able to access a search feature to find more of the content that I'm interested in and would actively engage and comment on.  But, there's the rules about commenting on old stuff, so even if I do find a post or something that I really like, I don't comment on it.

So, I guess that would be my suggestion:  Maybe there's some tweaking that could be done to having access to search functions and the rules about commenting on older posts?  It also might (?) help cut down on some of the very repetitive topics?  I know there is potential for people to abuse commenting on old posts to boost their post count, but for those of us actively trying to legitimately engage in content and contribute, it would be good if it at the very least didn't count against us, if that makes sense.

And, I was one of those who got stuck a few years (?) back when I first tried to sign up for an account and there were months without a response.  So, I gave up for a while.  I was glad to see the process moving again, so I finally did get signed up.  So, thank you to all who made that happen!

 

[Medowsweet]

Wait... So ARE there other places?  And if so could you tell me how to find them?

[Guest]

On 12/2/2023 at 2:31 PM, Inducer said:

YES!  This is where I have gotten a little stuck.  I'd love to be able to access a search feature to find more of the content that I'm interested in and would actively engage and comment on.  But, there's the rules about commenting on old stuff, so even if I do find a post or something that I really like, I don't comment on it.

So, I guess that would be my suggestion:  Maybe there's some tweaking that could be done to having access to search functions and the rules about commenting on older posts?  It also might (?) help cut down on some of the very repetitive topics?  I know there is potential for people to abuse commenting on old posts to boost their post count, but for those of us actively trying to legitimately engage in content and contribute, it would be good if it at the very least didn't count against us, if that makes sense.

The search function thing is probably a good idea, assuming the software allows it. It would cut down on the number of repeated theads.

On the other hand there's nothing worse than zombie threads being resurrected by people who clearly just want to hit 50 posts and get validated. 

[Plop68]

3 hours ago, Shining Light said:

The search function thing is probably a good idea, assuming the software allows it. It would cut down on the number of repeated theads.

On the other hand there's nothing worse than zombie threads being resurrected by people who clearly just want to hit 50 posts and get validated. 

I agree but I am unfortunately one of those people that really wants to read and enjoy the adult board.  I also have a hard time being creative and social due to me being autistic.

[riyona_ebooks]

i signed up back in the dark days when the forum still allowed minors…. a Mistake in hindsight, let’s be real 🥲

 

i only check in on my forum account occasionally, mostly due to how… dead the forum’s become. i’m gonna be honest and say i prefer tumblr more, solely bc of the activity (and ppl there are nicer >.>) but every so often i come back to the blue sneeze hellsite (affectionate) just to check in or maybe drop a post or two.

there’s also a handful of sneeze community discords floating around (i even manage one myself), so there’s one answer

[Heathcliff]

20 hours ago, Plop68 said:

I agree but I am unfortunately one of those people that really wants to read and enjoy the adult board.  I also have a hard time being creative and social due to me being autistic.

I think, because people can't access the Adult Board while they are validation, there is a perception that there is loads of amazing stuff there. There really isn't that much.

The majority of story writers on the forum (now and in the past) don't really want to write adult fiction. Ok, there is quite a bit there, but I find there is generally a lot more choice in the normal story boards.

There are some observations, but not loads; I mean, even the most lively of people don't spend that much of each day in 18+ situations (do they? 😶) so there is more chance of someone sneezing while e.g. vacuuming the carpet, or in the office, than while having sex.

And I'm sure you've realised this, but there are not lots of links to 18+ videos - if you want that sort of stuff you can search for it, and most of it costs money.

So honestly, people waiting for access to the Adult Board are not missing that much. When you get access you may find it a huge disappointment.

[Plop68]

1 hour ago, Heathcliff said:

I think, because people can't access the Adult Board while they are validation, there is a perception that there is loads of amazing stuff there. There really isn't that much.

The majority of story writers on the forum (now and in the past) don't really want to write adult fiction. Ok, there is quite a bit there, but I find there is generally a lot more choice in the normal story boards.

There are some observations, but not loads; I mean, even the most lively of people don't spend that much of each day in 18+ situations (do they? 😶) so there is more chance of someone sneezing while e.g. vacuuming the carpet, or in the office, than while having sex.

And I'm sure you've realised this, but there are not lots of links to 18+ videos - if you want that sort of stuff you can search for it, and most of it costs money.

So honestly, people waiting for access to the Adult Board are not missing that much. When you get access you may find it a huge disappointment.

Wasn’t expecting links, just looking forward to the fiction

[tma]

1) Adulting + distracted 

2) feeling lack of stories 😭  Although 1 I follow ❤  Also... feeling like people aren't interested in the type of stuff that I write.  Which is fine.  I write for me.  No sense sharing though if people aren't interested.  Because it just makes me feel pathetic-ish.

3) I miss chat.  Like a LOT.  Especially some of my "ancient" friends ❤

4) If I disengage for too long I get more and more awkward about re-engaging.  So I lurk 🤫

5) I generally feel like I fail at a lot of where people mainly go.  Partly because some of the places that aren't "hook up" seem like they are more also connected with gaming.  And I am not a gamer (Match 3, logic puzzles and coloring apps 🙈🙈)

[aggedy_ann]

1 hour ago, tma said:

1) Adulting + distracted 

2) feeling lack of stories 😭  Although 1 I follow ❤  Also... feeling like people aren't interested in the type of stuff that I write.  Which is fine.  I write for me.  No sense sharing though if people aren't interested.  Because it just makes me feel pathetic-ish.

3) I miss chat.  Like a LOT.  Especially some of my "ancient" friends ❤

4) If I disengage for too long I get more and more awkward about re-engaging.  So I lurk 🤫

5) I generally feel like I fail at a lot of where people mainly go.  Partly because some of the places that aren't "hook up" seem like they are more also connected with gaming.  And I am not a gamer (Match 3, logic puzzles and coloring apps 🙈🙈)

A lot of this.   
 

The other issue I run into (like right now) is I go through periods where I have no focus (despite ADHD meds).   That takes me out of the contributing and communicating because I either cant start things or I can’t focus long enough to work on them.    (I’m serious…I have a story in my head right now, but can’t focus on one thing long enough to write it out)

[tma]

Yes to lack of focus times too.  Lol!

[SweaterWeather]

I honestly don't use this site as much more than an archive for when I wanna find a certain story, maybe chat a bit. That's about all. Sometimes I'll comment if I feel like it (like now) but besides that? It's kinda just a graveyard. If you really wanna find something to be active, make a discord or something. 

[Professor_s]

Still here.  Occasionally just popping in and out.