Symphony of Sneezes (M) Bobby Baccalieri

[ghastlyfilters]

Disclaimer: I don’t own The Sopranos, Bobby Baccalieri, or the common cold. 
 

Author’s Note: I cannot tell you how DESPERATE I was to write a Sopranos fic on here. I mean there’s nothing (NOTHING) on here Sopranos fic related. Which is a little bit of a letdown looking at how massive the fandom is. But.. I suppose that’s where my own “creative” mindset comes in. This is a kinda short fic and just for fun as it’s my first actual sneeze fic rather than just writing my usual fanfiction! Also it’s two in the morning so my apologies if this is shitty lol. I was bored and couldn’t resist. 
 
The air was thick with cigar smoke as the DiMeo crime family, otherwise known as Tony Soprano’s crew, sat together in Nuovo Vesuvio. Artie’s place. 
 

The tension in the room made the majority of the crew feel the need to cringe. Things weren’t looking too good between them and New York. Tony Blundetto, the cousin of their well known Boss Anthony Soprano, had almost started a gang war. After shooting Phil Leotardo’s brother, Tony B had fled the scene. Nobody knew where he’d fucked off to. But it was Tony Soprano and the rest of the guys that were left to pick up the pieces. Things were getting bad. Real bad. 
 

“I heard Blundetto went on him full Don fuckin’ Corleone style!” Larry Barese chirped, a couple of the guys snickering in the back.

“Bullshit.” Vito said. “It was a quick blow to the head. Billy got whacked within seconds. If he would’ve been quicker, Phil would’ve never known who the fuck did it.” 
 

Bobby Baccalieri sat across from them all, his head aching with each booming sentence these guys were blurting out. Everything felt and sounded twenty times louder than it should’ve been. He knew tonight was important. John and Phil were ready to snap. With his position now, it was mandatory for him to be there. If there was trouble, he had to be by Tony’s side to help decide what came next. 
 

That didn’t change the damn tickle dancing around in his nostrils.. 

Jesus. 

He’d usually be grateful just to even  hear what the hell was going down within the crew, but tonight of all nights..

This cold was kicking his ass. And he knew it. He’d lost count of how many times he’d let out a sneeze today. It was getting worse by the minute.

He discreetly rubbed at his nose with his index finger, trying not to attract any unnecessary attention. But these men could hardly help themselves, and he wasn’t particularly in the mood for it tonight. 
 

“If this shit doesn’t get put to bed, no one knows who the fuck Phil’s after. He’ll take the closest to a brother from Tony as he can get.” Vito told them all, taking a swig from his glass. 

“I’m his brother in law..” Bobby sniffled, instantly regretting even bothering to speak. 
 

“Jesus, Bobby. Why the hell would they go after you?” Carlo laughed, patting his shoulder. 
 

Bobby rubbed at his nose again, getting more irritated by the aggravating spasm in his nose. “The fuck do I know..”

Just as that, Tony swaggered in, and the conversation ended. He glanced at his brother in law for a second, noticing his red nose and tired eyes. He looked like hell. 
 

“Ohhhh! Raymond!” Tony smiled, walking towards Ray Curto. “Hey.. Happy Birthday.”

Ray accepted a bottle of wine from him, grinning. “Thanks, Tone.”

“The menu’s good tonight, skip.” Paulie said, looking at Tony. 
 

Tony sighed. “I can’t stay.” 

 

His words were met by a series of loud groans and grumbles from the rest of the crew. Meanwhile he could see Bobby slightly covering his ears with his hands. The fuck was up with him? 

 

“This shit with my cousin and Phil.. i’m seeing to it. And I don’t want anymore talk relating to it. So, tomorrow mornin’, is a new day. Just know it’s being taken care of.” Tony explained to them all, the majority of them nodded their heads, understanding his words. 

 

“Bobby.” Tony said aloud.

 

Bobby lifted his head slowly and was met with the eyes of his brother in law. He was really struggling to contain his nose now. And the pepper in the air.. oh, Marone..

 

”Come on.” Tony told him, signalling for Bobby to exit the room with him. 

 

Bobby stood up, pulling his hanky from his pocket and giving his nose a quick wipe. His steps were slow and heavy, and his muscles were aching with fatigue. 

 

The two left Artie’s restaurant, and the moment Bobby left those doors, his poor nose couldn’t hold itself back. 

 

“Hhih-TSHOO!” Bobby sneezed violently, making Tony’s shoulders jump. The cold night air was too much for his nose to handle. Fuck. 

 

“Feel good getting that out, huh?” Tony chuckled. 

 

Bobby looked at him with a sniffle. “What?” 

 

Tony shook his head. “Ah, cmon. I could see you in there. You look like shit. You’re coming down with somethin’..”

 

Sniffling, Bobby looked away, and then looked back again. “I might be feelin’ a bit beat, T. But I know all this shit going on is important enough.”

 

“And i’m supposed to be pissed off with you catchin’ a cold? I told you, the Tony B situation is under control, I swear.” 

 

Bobby’s brows knitted together, and his nostrils began to flare. He swiftly pulled out his hanky again, holding up a finger to Tony. 

 

 “HRRESHHHH!!” He muffled into the handkerchief. “Scuse me. Sorry, Tone. These damn sniffles..”

 

Bobby honked his nose into the hanky before putting it away again. His cheeks were flushed with both fever and embarrassment. He’d never been like this in front of Tony. 
 

“Let me drive you home atleast?” Tony suggested, and Bobby let out a sigh of defeat. 

He climbed into the passenger seat of Tony’s Nissan Xterra, stifling a sneeze into the crook of his elbow. He really did feel beat. 

 

“Oh, and uh.. don’t get any of your fuckin’ snot on the seats..” Tony joked, putting his belt on. Bobby let out a soft chuckle and rubbed at his itchy nose. 
 

“Does my sister know you’re sick?” Tony asked, driving the car down the Jersey roads. 
 

Bobby sniffled. “I woke up with it this mornin’.. but it wasn’t near as bad. Then your Uncle was paranoid he’d catch it and get pneumonia. So I went back home. Jan didn’t notice. She heard me sneezin’ earlier but it wasn’t out of the ordinary as such.” 

“When you get home take a NyQuil or some shit like that. And if my sister gets on your ass tell her to leave you the fuck alone. I know when it’s me with Carm, she shuts up. Ain’t nothin’ worse than man flu and a woman in the same room.” Tony snorted. He knew his Sister was a handful to deal with in general. But then again he wasn’t her husband.

 

Bobby sneezed again, and he blinked in confusion afterwards, almost as though he’d startled himself. “HEXSH!” 

“You’re gonna blow your fuckin’ nose off with those sneezes.” Tony joked again. 
 

Bobby shook his body a little, trying to get rid of anymore damn nose tickles. He’d do anything to be in bed pampered by Janice. Maybe have her bring him some hot cocoa, maybe some soft ti-t-tiss- 

 

And yet again, he pulled the now damp hanky from his suit pocket. “MMPFH!” 
 

He cringed at how wet the stifled sound came out, ready to get under the covers already and sulk within his symphony of sneezes. Tony just laughed at him. 
 

“You’re somethin’ else, Baccala. I’ll give you that. Sneezes and all.” 

[solitaire-au]

That was cool. Not familiar with the characters, but very evocative.

Btw, short fics belong in the Drabbles section of the Stories subforum.