Sarah J Maas Drabbles! (ACOTAR, TOG, and CC)

[PennyLane]

Hello! I have been obsessed with all of Sarah J Maas’s books for YEARS and it is an absolute shame that I haven’t seen any sneeze content yet. I’m here to fix that.

 

Feel free to request any characters or scenarios and I’ll surely do my best. This fandom is too large to let this much potential go to waste.

 

Spoiler warning

 

A Court of Silver Flames

Cassian

 

They had been hiking for hours. Snapping twigs and the crunch of foliage under foot was the only sound as Cassian and Nesta hiked around the hills. It had been an hour since they stopped for lunch, and it would be far longer before they stopped again. 

The silence didnt bother Cassian, he’d wait weeks for Nesta to talk back to him- months if he had to. She would never bother him.

What did bother him was the fact that everything, every damn plant, was in bloom. This mountainside had nothing on the spring court when it came to sheer quantity, but even Cassian could admit the greenery around him was nothing to sneeze at.

 

”hhhh!”

 

Or maybe they were. Each hour that ticked by, Cassian could feel an insistent itch in his nose. It was hardly ever enough to push him over the edge, just sitting at a tickly…. Tickly….

 

“HhhHhhh?”

 

The Illyrian gave his nose a hard rub, squishing the nostrils between his fingers. He’d almost rather the full body itches of the spring court to this. At least there he could scratch. Here he was helpless to the hitching and the sniffling and the never ending-

 

“HHHHHHGGGUUUURRGGGCHHHUUUUU!!!”

 

Fucking finally. He doubted Azriel packed any tissues or handkerchief, but it wouldn’t hurt to check-

 

“Bless you”

 

Cassian almost stumbled at the soft, hardly used voice that came from behind him. He didnt need to look to know that Nesta had already fallen into her mind again as she trailed him through the grueling hike. When was the last time she spoke? When would he hear her speak again?

Whenever she was ready, Cassian would be there to listen. Nothing that she is, or was, would ever scare him away.

[PennyLane]

Pre House of Earth and Blood

Bryce

 

“Eeeeggghhhh-shooo!”

 

Stupid Danika. Stupid Pack of Wolves. Alpha-holes refuse to take care of themselves and now I’m sick. Bryce leaned back in her chair. Down in the library under Griffen’s Antiques, the dim lights from the stars on the ceiling brought out the color on her nose to an angry red.

 

“Your nose matches your hair, BB.” Lehabah giggled. The fire sprite was in no risk of contamination, being made of flame, and as such was perfectly content to sit on her candle to tease. 

 

“Why don’t you go back to watchidng your smbut show? What was it? Fangs and Bangs?”

 

Lehabah’s flames burned pink in embarrassment for a moment. She pointed at the upright tablet, “It’s a romance! Don’t be so crude!”

 

Bryce loudly blew her nose in response.

 

“What does it matter if you’re sick? You’re fae, you’ll be better by the end of the day.”

 

“Half fae.” The other half, the preferred half, was fully human. While a normal fae would usually get over a cold in the matter of a mucus-filled day, Bryce Quinlan would be left to suffer for two days- three if she really pushed herself.

 

“Heh??” Amber eyes fluttered closed, full lips pulling up into an all-fae snarl with her slightly elongated canine teeth. “Heh. HIH! EEEEEII-SHIEWWWW!!!”

 

Even her sneezes were loud. Her poor stepfather, Randal, always dreaded when Bryce and her Mother, Ember, would get sick. It seemed like the hilltops themselves would tremble at every sneeze.

 

“Why didn’t you call out sick if you’re so miserable?”

 

“Jesiba was having none of it.” There are clients today, and that was that. The sorceress threatened to turn Bryce into a toad if she didn’t come in today. A toad wouldn’t have this stupid cold.

So here she was. The tight fitting green dress Bryce wore did nothing to help with her chills. A spare blanket from the back closet now lay wrapped around her shoulders. 

 

“Eeghhh-IESHHHH! EIISHHEW!……HET-CHUUUUU!!!”

 

“Please, BB! If you sneeze in my direction like that you’ll completely wink me out!”

Bryce somehow found her way to look down her nose at the fire elemental while burring her face in a tissue. Red-rimmed eyes squinting in the beginnings of a sinus headache.

 

“Who, mbe?” It was incredible she could still talk with any confidence with how congested her voice was. “You’re a descendent of royalty, Lehabah, how could you be scared of a little sndee-…hih!…a little sndeeze?”

 

Lehabah’s eyes grew wide in fear. “BB you wouldn’t.”

 

Nostrils flaring rhythmically, Bryce did her best to flutter her eyelashes innocently. Every hitch sent her cleavage jumping from the tight green bodice. Trying to remain smug was almost agonizing while her nose just trembled, and…and… oh gods it tickled.

From her seat on the candlestick, Lehabah had a perfect view of Bryce’s nose as her nostrils strained wide with the oncoming sneeze. The way they danced in an irritated rhythm.

 

“I’mb…hih! Oh, oh look out! I’mb godda…HIH-IH?!?! I NEED TO SNDEEZE!”

 

In her final attempt at dramatacism, the desperation in Bryce’s voice was real. Holding the sneeze off for this long was agonizing. She waited for a terrified fire sprite to take cover before smirking and ducking into the wad of tissues she’d held hidden under the table.

 

“Huh-EHH!! HEGH!?! HAAAAAAGHHHHSHHHIIIEWWWW!! IKSHEEW! PSHIEWWW!….HIH?? HIHHHIHIH!?!?! CHIEEUUUUUUU!!………..ugh.”

 

The fit left her a bit lightheaded, and the tissues basically useless. When Bryce opened her tired eyes, she found Lehabah floating inches away from her face, holding a new pile of tissues.

 

“Bless you, BB”

 

“Thandk you, Lehabah.”

 

[ThatSneezyGirl]

These are so good 😍😍 would love to read more!! 

[PennyLane]

 

On 3/23/2024 at 5:37 AM, ThatSneezyGirl said:

These are so good 😍😍 would love to read more!! 

Thank youuuuu 🥰🥰

 

A Court of Thorns and Roses

Feyre

 

       Every night was the same. Send the shadows to get the girl, make a show of walking in, then booze her up to make the night melt away.

       Rhysand may have been the high lord of the night court, but even he found the nightly parties to be excessive. It was nothing but terrified high fae trying to look like they were having fun, lest one of Amarantha's beasts gets bored and picks them out.

       The lady under the mountain. "Lady" is no good for her. From where he sat, Rhys could see the red haired dictator pathetically trying to entice the spring lord at her side. 

       If he was being honest, Rhysand was jealous of Tamlin. At least he had the luxury of denying Amarantha's advancements. He could just sit up there and watch while the rest of every court was forced to grovel at her wickedness's feet. And most of all, when this was all over, he would get to go home to…

       Her. This strange, stubborn human female. Feyre.

       Dancing a foot away from his seat, Feyre almost glowed in her drunken delight. The gauzy dress that didn't even try to hide her sunken figure flowed between her legs, while she swayed back and forth under the eyes of every male in the room.

       She won't remember any of this. Just like she doesn't remember any night before. It was the only gift he could give her: relief from her mind. Instead of rotting in that dark cell, forced to think all night of what horrors awaited her, she would dance herself to exhaustion tonight, then sleep all during the day tomorrow. 

       There would be no such reprieve for him. Every day closer to the next trial was agony, punctuated by the nights when Amarantha called him to her bed. These days she's been especially rough, given the constant rejection from Tamlin.

 

"Hieeeeshiewww!" 

 

       The sound brought Rhys out of his mind. He looked up to see Feyre's pert nose wiggle back and forth while she continued to sway. 

 

"Hiieehhhhhh????"

 

       It seemed that the fizzy, effervescent fae wine irritated her nose from time to time. Those first nights had been much worse, and Rhys quickly realized how relaxed the human was in this state by the way she never attempted to cover her mouth. 

 

"Hiek-shieww!!! Snfffff"

 

       Countless nights like this had made Rhys accustomed to her patterns. By the way her nostrils flared and her chest hitched, he knew there would be a little fit soon. It was hard not to get distracted by her cleavage in those moments that she hitched, the gauzy dress really left nothing to the imagination. 

 

"Hih! Snf. Ihhehhhh???!!"

 

       Never a fan of needless embarrassment, Rhys casually stood and made to get this human to a more private area. His hand connected with her bare hips, smudging those dark, inked swirls he had painted every night. Her body quickly fell in line with his own dance moves as he swayed them through the dance floor and into a dim corner.

 

       "I know you it must itch you terribly," the high lord reassured while he took out a handkerchief from his pocket, "here, relieve that poor nose."

 

       Her glassy eyes met his, and for a moment he almost saw a glimpse of stars reflecting back. 

       She followed the direction of the neat black cloth and buried her nose in his waiting palm.

 

"Hihhhh?? IKCHEWW!! Shieww!!! Eiiiitchieww!!"

 

       Rhys caught each little burst in his handkerchief, feeling the warmth on his palm. Maybe one day he won't have to hide her from dangerous eyes. Maybe soon she'd actually defeat Amarantha and save them all.

       Then he could see who she really was, and why she has been in his dreams for far longer then before they ever even met.

 

[ThatSneezyGirl]

I love this!!! Thanks for continuing 🤩

[Sneeziestofthemall]

I love this 😍 hope you continue 

[Hyacinth]

omg i love love LOVE this!! please continue! 

Cassian having allergies is actually so fitting to his character. Though, I would also love to see an allergic Azriel, or Rhys with a cold... so much potential there!

 

[PennyLane]

On 4/13/2024 at 1:27 PM, ThatSneezyGirl said:

I love this!!! Thanks for continuing 🤩

🥰🥰🥰  @ThatSneezyGirl

On 4/21/2024 at 3:38 AM, Sneeziestofthemall said:

I love this 😍 hope you continue 

Thanks🥰🥰 @Sneeziestofthemall

On 4/22/2024 at 4:45 PM, Hyacinth said:

omg i love love LOVE this!! please continue! 

Cassian having allergies is actually so fitting to his character. Though, I would also love to see an allergic Azriel, or Rhys with a cold... so much potential there!

 

Potential indeed!! @Hyacinth

 

Post A Court of Wings and Ruin

Azriel

 

The inner circle lounged in the sitting room of the townhouse, content to sit in the quiet stillness. From where Feyre draped on the couch, sprawled lazily over Rhys, she spotted Azriel walk in from dining room.

 

"Come to join our group nap?" Feyre asked, her voice rousing a groggy Mor on the opposite chair.

 

The spymaster said nothing as he crossed the room and took the empty seat by Cassian. 

 

Fire embers popped to fill sound, and Azriel turned his head to meet his High Lady's lingering stare. He only lifted an eyebrow in response.

 

"Az, why is it that you winnow into the other room only to walk in here? Why not just window to this room directly?"

 

"Because he's a drama queen, that's why." Cassian drawled, stretching his wings. "The shadow singer needs to emerge from the darkest corners and sashe into his grand entrance. Honestly, he rivals Rhys in that way."

 

The High Lord gave a sleepy chuckle at the comparison.

 

The topic dropped, but Feyre was still left wondering…

 

. . .

 

Stars twinkled expertly in the night sky while the inner circle walked through the streets of Velaris. An afternoon of napping left them a little too rested, and needed to work some of that energy off in town.

 

They turned the corner into the theater district only for a flash of fae light to blind them. Some show had taken up on the street for a brisk nighttime performance. 

 

Feyre rubbed her eyes, quickly adjusting back to the dark, when she thought she saw Azriel shudder beside her. It was momentary enough that when her vision fully recovered, he seemed perfectly fine.

 

Strange…

 

Attention was sweeped back to the colorful performers that moved their bodies across the stone walkways. Where they traveled, steamers and glitter trailed.

 

That was, except for one fae who juggled fae orbs as if they were nothing but balls of clay. He made them disappear and return within seconds, dazzling the crowd in various bursts of light.

 

After one particularly bright flash from the orbs, Feyre saw Azriel again shudder.

 

"Hey," she whispered over to him over the crowd, "are you alright?"

 

He glanced sidelong at her, almost struggling to look away from the performance. His response was a short nod before returning his attention.

 

A male of few words.

 

Feyre was telling herself that maybe she was still groggy from the nap when she saw the Illyrian swipe a quick knuckle under his nose.

 

What…oh.

 

"Let's get a closer look!"

 

Azriel didn't have time to argue before Feyre hooked arms with him and walked to the front of the crowd, perfectly facing the juggling orbs. 

 

The performer beamed to see his High Lady and motioned to watch close, making large movements to conceal all his orbs away from sight.

 

Fae in the street hushed in anticipation. Darkness swept over the street at the sudden absence of light. With a smirk toward Feyre, the performer flung out his arms to release a beautiful multicolored burst of light.

 

Cheers erupted from the crowd in a chorus of "oooo"s and "hurrah"s. 

 

But Feyre wasn't paying attention to any of them. Arm still looped with the spy master, she watched him duck into his opposite shoulder and stifle two sneezes.

 

"Hhhhh…ngt! NGXT!!"

 

Satisfied, she left to return to her party, where her mate waited with open arms.

 

"If I knew you enjoyed light shows, I'd have taken you to the day court more often", Rhys purred in her ear.

 

She only hummed contently, peering behind at Azriel, knuckle under nose walking back to the group.

 

He stopped to look her in the eye and give a pointed sniffle. She smiled sweetly in response, happy to keep his photic reaction between them.

 

 

Edited Friday at 08:19 PM by PennyLane
Typo