Time Bomb Sneeze. (Self-Ob)

[GeoffreyShawcross]

I've caught the worlds most nose tickling cold. As someone who works in a coffee roastery/coffee shop, this has led to several instances of what can only be described as Time Bomb sneezes.

 

I'm talking a customer through the range of coffees we supply when I feel it- the insistent tickle I've had in my nose the last few days steps up, as it does every hour or so, and intensifies into a Sneezy Tickle. I can't really touch or rub my nose, so I go into sneeze management. I hold my breath, knowing any sniff, inhale or spoken work will stoke the tickly fire. I scrunch and wriggle my nose, staving off the tickle as best I can. But, inevitably, I have to speak. And with every work, every torturous syllable, the Sneeze-O-Meter increases. 

 

"If you're looking for something little left field..."

 

(Sneeze 60% Loaded)

 

"We do have some interesting varietals from..."

 

(Sneeze 70% Loaded)

 

I often wonder whether the customer can tell. Maybe the slightly flared nostrils, or the breathy waver in my voice? Are they secretly thinking to themselves,

 

"He's gonna blow!"

 

Or are they blissfully unaware of the epic cold induced sneeze they're about to bear witness to?

 

Eventually, as I politely listen to their reply, the fuse burns down, the bar reaches 100%, and I can do no more. I turn away, my head and nose meeting my raised elbow-

 

"HUTCHOOO!"

 

I excuse myself, and a blessing is offered. 

[kathleenh4656]

Bless you!!

[TheCakeIsAlive]

I like the inevitability of your description "Time Bomb". Whilst I sympathise with the predicament, I hope it was at least theoretically enjoyable for you! 

[solitaire-au]

Aww, bless you!

[Vipiyoh]

This was so descriptive! Bless you

[GeoffreyShawcross]

The sneezes have been really enjoyable thanks you! I would say I'm a moderately loud sneezer as it is, but my cold sneezes are just BIGGER. The tickle is bigger, the build is bigger, and the eventual sneeze feels bigger, more powerful and just really satisfying. Maybe speaks to my ego that working in a public space with a sneezy nose has left me feeling like I've been performing on a stage the last few days, with the customers as an audience. 😆

Edited February 2 by GeoffreyShawcross

[GeoffreyShawcross]

21 hours ago, TheCakeIsAlive said:

I like the inevitability of your description "Time Bomb". Whilst I sympathise with the predicament, I hope it was at least theoretically enjoyable for you! 

The sneezes have been really enjoyable thanks you! I would say I'm a moderately loud sneezer as it is, but my cold sneezes are just BIGGER. The tickle is bigger, the build is bigger, and the eventual sneeze feels bigger, more powerful and just really satisfying. Maybe speaks to my ego that working in a public space with a sneezy nose has left me feeling like I've been performing on a stage the last few days, with the customers as an audience. 😆

[TheCakeIsAlive]

7 hours ago, GeoffreyShawcross said:

The sneezes have been really enjoyable thanks you! I would say I'm a moderately loud sneezer as it is, but my cold sneezes are just BIGGER. The tickle is bigger, the build is bigger, and the eventual sneeze feels bigger, more powerful and just really satisfying. Maybe speaks to my ego that working in a public space with a sneezy nose has left me feeling like I've been performing on a stage the last few days, with the customers as an audience. 😆

All the world's a stage and all men and women merely players upon it.