Small Explosions (Baldur's Gate 3, Gale)

[fufufufu]

I'm kind of obsessed with this game, so I wrote a story. Spoilers for Act 1!

----- 

 

Deep in the Underdark, a foursome of tired adventurers headed for their camp. 

Tav, for one, was looking forward to a solid night's rest. Although she was heartened they had found allies in the myconid grove, she hadn't anticipated communing telepathically with a circle of sentient telepathic mushrooms. And their sovereign just had so. many. demands, none of which were made easier by their unfamiliar surroundings. Tav didn't particularly care for the mildewed smell they exuded, nor for the constant haze of spores in the air. She couldn't help rubbing at her own arms and over her face, trying to get the strange fungal dust off her skin. How she longed to be back on the surface, washing off in a clear spring somewhere.

By the looks of it, she wasn't the only member of their traveling party so affected: Astarion had been loudly complaining about the grit clumping in his hair, while Shadowheart was none too thrilled with the taste of spore in her mouth.

Gale, the fourth member of their adventuring party, was normally among the most talkative. But as they approached their campsite, he was uncharacteristically quiet. Occasionally Tav glanced over in concern and caught him deeply scrunching up his nose and rubbing at its tip, perhaps equally irritated by that scent of mildew. 

When their small group tiredly made it back to the group's camp, Gale all but sprinted towards his tent and disappeared inside. All without a word. Now *that* was very unusual for their resident loquacious wizard, who normally staked his territory at the cooking pot, and engaged any who would listen on his thoughts about their travels that day. 

Worried about his uncharacteristic behavior, Tav followed Gale into his tent.  

"Gale?" she asked.

He'd pulled a handkerchief from somewhere in his robes, and looked almost guilty at having been caught. "Oh," he said in surprise. "Yes?"

Tav squinted. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, yes." Gale wiped at his nose quickly. "Perfectly well."

"Are you sure?" Tav asked, with a skeptical glance at the handkerchief. 

"I'll be fine." He smiled. "I may find the air down here *slightly* disagreeable, but I assure you, no concern is warranted."

"Slightly disagreeable," Tav repeated, crossing her arms. Given how cagey Gale had been about his much more serious magical condition, she wasn't inclined to take him at his word. "You're not coming down with something, are you?"

"Oh, certainly not! You would be the first to be informed if I were." He sounded a little more urgent. "Now please, go join the others. I'll be along-- nnngh." With that odd grunt, he wrinkled his nose. "I'll.... ergh... I'll be along." His eyes scrunched shut, and he shook his head, clearly struggling a bit. "After ahh... a time." 

Tav squinted at him. "So there's nothing you'd care to inform me about."

"I'm--" Gale suddenly pinched at his nose, crumpling forward. "nnng'CHHH!"

"Oh," Tav said. 

"iiingh-CHHH! Oh, dear..." he said breathlessly. He clapped the handkerchief over his face. "Hengh-CHOO!... Ehhhngch-CHOO!... Hnngh-SHEW!" 

"Gods help you," Tav remarked. 

"Indeed." Gale snuffled hard into the handkerchief. "I had hoped you might leave before witnessing such a display."

"We all have worms in our heads and you think this is what's going to put me off?" Tav said. 

"A fai.... ihh-innnk-KCHOO!" He took a breath, and tried again. "A fair point. Heh-ENKSSHHH! I'm afraid our fungal friends irritated me a bit more than I -- Ehhh-ENKSSCHEW! -- expected." Gale snuffled heavily, wiping the handkerchief back and forth across his nose. "It's a testament to my self-control that this didn't begin in the colony, what with their spores positively... ennk'SHIH!... blanketing the air. Although it is a rather fascinating method of communication and social organization. Ehhhng'SHOO!  If only it didn't involve tiny particles traveling directly up one's nasal passages... HNNNGSHOO! eehhhhhSHOO!"

Tav smiled fondly.  "Are you seriously starting an academic lecture right now?"

"I wouldn't call it a lecture," Gale said. He blew his nose soggily. "...Ugh. You really need not witness more of this."

"All right, I'll leave you be," Tav said. "If you'll forgive one last question."

"Yes?" he answered. 

Tav glanced at Gale's collarbone, where the outline of his orb sat. "This isn't going to affect your, you know, other condition?" 

"You mean, am I going to explode," he said, and then added wryly: "...more than I already am right now?"

"Well," Tav said. "Yes."

"My nuh...."  Gale waved a hand in front of his face and blinked rapidly, trying to fight off an impending sneeze. "My nose is equally -- eeehhtsssSCHUU! -- excitable during the treeflowering season in Waterdeep. Hehh'tttSCHIU!...  Yet, the city still stands. We're not in any imminent danger."

"Good to know," Tav said, but winced at the sight of his watery eyes and obviously still itchy nose. "...Sort of."

"hhhhh'ITTTSCH!" Gale half-muffled into his handkerchief.

"I'll tell the others not to worry." Tav reached for the tent flap to let herself out. "Tell us if we can help."

Gale nodded mutely, his face rapidly crumpling up. "Hehh...ETTTSCH!"

Tav shook her head sympathetically. As she walked away from his tent, she could still hear him in the grips of his sneezing attack. She would save him a bit of dinner, Tav thought as she settled in with the rest of the group around the campfire. He'd likely be exhausted once the worst of it had passed. To her relief, Wyll had taken up cauldron duties, and it smelled as if it were well on the way to becoming an excellent stew.

"So?" Shadowheart said. 

"So, he's fine," Tav informed the group.

As if on cue, they all heard a distant "ENNNG'CHOO!" from Gale's tent. 

"You sure about that, mate?" Karlach asked. 

"The myconid spores bother him a bit. He's not going to explode," Tav said. "I asked."

"Good," Astarion said with silvery disdain. "Because let me be perfectly clear. I am not dying because of an exploding wizard's allergies to some talking mushrooms. I can handle dying a violent death, but not an absurdly stupid one."

"Well, I don't think either one something you need to worry about at the moment," Tav answered.

"Look on the bright side," Wyll said. Stirring the stew cauldron, he chuckled. "Maybe Gale will just sneeze his tadpole out, and we'll have a cure on our hands."

"If that is Fay-run's understanding of ghaik tadpole removal, we may as well exterminate ourselves now," Lae'zel snapped.

"People!" Tav barked. "Gale is going to be fine, and so are we, because we are going to eat our dinner like civilized adults. All right?" 

The group's bickering ceased, to Tav's great relief, and a moment of quiet fell. Which only made it easier to hear another distant, shrill sneeze from Gale's tent. 

Shadowheart chuckled. "If you say so." 

 

-end-

[Lilsgjerd]

Omg this is so well-written! I haven't started playing this game yet but Gale seems like such a sweetheart!

[fufufufu]

7 hours ago, Lilsgjerd said:

Omg this is so well-written! I haven't started playing this game yet but Gale seems like such a sweetheart!

Thank you so much!! It's an awesome game. Gale can make an annoying first impression on some players but he's actually awesome 😄

[Wig_Powder]

As far as I can tell, you're the first person to write Baldur's Gate 3 sneezefic (on the forum, at least), and I am absolutely gobsmacked by that given how popular it was pretty much as soon as it was released. So congrats on that!

As for the fic itself, I haven't been able to play the game myself yet, but based on the clips I've seen on Youtube, you got the character's voices just right (I could hear Astarion and Lae'zel in your lines), and your sneeze spellings are a delight. If you get inspired to write more fics for this game, I'll happily check it out, even if I still haven't managed to play the game yet.

[fufufufu]

3 hours ago, Wig_Powder said:

As far as I can tell, you're the first person to write Baldur's Gate 3 sneezefic (on the forum, at least), and I am absolutely gobsmacked by that given how popular it was pretty much as soon as it was released. So congrats on that!

As for the fic itself, I haven't been able to play the game myself yet, but based on the clips I've seen on Youtube, you got the character's voices just right (I could hear Astarion and Lae'zel in your lines), and your sneeze spellings are a delight. If you get inspired to write more fics for this game, I'll happily check it out, even if I still haven't managed to play the game yet.

HA! Well I'm proud to plant my flag in this new territory. It is an awesome game and I'd love to see more sneezefic for it! Thank you so much for your kind comment!

[Snzenjoyer]

Please!! Give us more BG3 fics!! I can't believe you're the first one on here since the game is so popular!

[MidnightCatK]

Beautiful work, fu! I'm so glad to see this fandom make it to our beloved forums! I've had an idea for something with Astarion, I just haven't gotten around to it. I'm much more inspired after reading this, though!

[fufufufu]

On 2/26/2024 at 2:35 AM, Snzenjoyer said:

Please!! Give us more BG3 fics!! I can't believe you're the first one on here since the game is so popular!

Haha, thanks! I'd love to, and I hope others write some too!

[fufufufu]

On 2/26/2024 at 11:39 PM, MidnightCatK said:

Beautiful work, fu! I'm so glad to see this fandom make it to our beloved forums! I've had an idea for something with Astarion, I just haven't gotten around to it. I'm much more inspired after reading this, though!

Thank you so much, and yay! I would love to read it 🙂

[Guessagain]

Yes! Yes! Torment the wizard! Meeheehee!

[MidnightCatK]

On 2/29/2024 at 8:01 AM, fufufufu said:

Thank you so much, and yay! I would love to read it 🙂

You're so kind! I'm planning to have it up by the end of this week!