I am NOT attracted to it. I'm just turned on by it.

[dryblanket]

Every time I wander into discussion spaces for this topic I see emotionally charged language that almost physically repels me. I don't know if this is just ace brain or what but - "cute" and "hot" are absolutely not the words that come to mind when I'm watching a video of exaggerated buildups or whatever. I don't feel an "urge" to do anything except get off quickly and then move on with the rest of my day (in which I spend exactly 0 seconds thinking about any of this). I certainly don't want it anywhere near my sex life - but I've always felt like if I try to express that here I'm gonna get a bunch of comments saying "oh no it's so sad you haven't accepted your kink yet you just need to embrace it" like no listen I simply do not get anything of emotional value out of this shit in the slightest lol. I am not attracted to it. I am simply turned on by it - in a specific way, when I'm in a specific mood, in an exclusively solo situation.

In fact, here's a weird thing. A lot of people say the fetish works better for them when they're attracted to the person or character doing it. It's the exact opposite for me - if I have any emotional investment in what I'm reading at all, I don't want sneezing anywhere near that shit lol. Instant mood-killer. Completely different arousal sources, do not combine. This is why ridiculous over-the-top sneezefics with no pretense at realism work really well for me but the more subdued, emotional character-driven stories do absolutely nothing (on a related note: NoV please keep doing what you're doing lmao).

This is something that's taken me a great deal of time to try and articulate but I need to know if anyone else feels the same way. And of course, no offense intended to everyone here who is attracted to the fetish and finds it emotionally fulfilling; I promise there is absolutely no judgement from me on that front. I just legitimately cannot relate. For me it's a way to scratch an annoying itch and nothing more.

[NiceName]

Sexuality is different between people and that's amazing. There is no right and wrong.

 

[Likesn]

Hey, to each their own. It's nothing to get worked up about. You do you.

[dryblanket]

I'm not really worked up or looking for reassurance (though I appreciate the sentiment). I was just hoping someone here might have a similar experience.

[Niceguy]

I can't say my experience is the same, but this is an interesting perspective which I hope helps others better understand Aces. Thanks for posting!

[pinkypie]

As someone who has thought I might be asexual in the past, I think this is a really interesting perspective, and I can totally understand how this works for you. I give you props for actually saying this and putting it out there because I have found that talking through stuff on here can really help me. I also sometimes feel like it is an "annoying itch". While I don't have exactly the same experience as you, I can totally understand what you're saying and I don't think it makes you weird at all. Everyone has differences in their sexuality and things they like, and it is all expressed differently. There was someone I used to know who was asexual and he disliked being turned on so much that he did meditation to try and make sure it didn't happen for him ever. Of course his experience isn't the same as yours, but I thought I would share it in the hopes you could relate somewhat. I think your repellence of certain situations is indeed linked to the "ace brain" as you put it. I hope you can find someone who has a similar experience, but for now, thank you for sharing.

[dryblanket]

3 hours ago, Niceguy said:

I can't say my experience is the same, but this is an interesting perspective which I hope helps others better understand Aces. Thanks for posting!

1 hour ago, pinkypie said:

As someone who has thought I might be asexual in the past, I think this is a really interesting perspective, and I can totally understand how this works for you. I give you props for actually saying this and putting it out there because I have found that talking through stuff on here can really help me. I also sometimes feel like it is an "annoying itch". While I don't have exactly the same experience as you, I can totally understand what you're saying and I don't think it makes you weird at all. Everyone has differences in their sexuality and things they like, and it is all expressed differently. There was someone I used to know who was asexual and he disliked being turned on so much that he did meditation to try and make sure it didn't happen for him ever. Of course his experience isn't the same as yours, but I thought I would share it in the hopes you could relate somewhat. I think your repellence of certain situations is indeed linked to the "ace brain" as you put it. I hope you can find someone who has a similar experience, but for now, thank you for sharing.

I appreciate that a lot actually, thank you both for responding. I legitimately wasn't sure how much being asexual even played into this if I'm being honest (I'm very sex-positive as an overall concept and pretty neutral on the whole experience personally lol). It's nice to hear that I'm not just overthinking that weird "emotional/sexual" disconnect.

[Bondi]

That's completely fine. Everyone's fetish/kink/whatever you want to call it is different and people process things differently.

[RB]

I had a recent epiphany about this as well. I realized that sneezing for me is 100% a physical thing with zero emotional attachment. The thought of someone I cared about sneezing has never held any attraction for me. If anything, I would get uncomfortable with it. A physically attractive sneezer is a nice bonus, I’ll admit, but that is also a non-emotional response. It took a long time for me to be able to articulate this to myself. I don’t think this is a controversial opinion at all. 

[Via]

omg I'm delighted to find someone that feels similarly! I think our experiences differ as far as rl stuff—I'm not ace and definitely enjoy the kink in the context of my rl partners indulging me, etc—BUT for fics and art and wavs and stuff? anything non-participatory?

On 3/4/2024 at 7:22 AM, dryblanket said:

This is why ridiculous over-the-top sneezefics with no pretense at realism work really well for me but the more subdued, emotional character-driven stories do absolutely nothing

This is exactly how I feel too. I don't want or need rich characters and emotional complexity, and most of the time it actively gets in the way! I love that stuff in normal fic, and more power to the ppl who include it in their kink art, but if I'm consuming something to get off (which, if I'm reading a sneezefic at all, I am definitely doing), I'm looking for the raw hindbrain superstimulation, pure kink indulgence, and very little else.

Edited March 5 by Via

[Eastender]

This is pretty much how it works for me, although I would caveat that by saying that I’ve never shared the fetish/kink with anybody I’ve had an emotional relationship with.
 

Possibly it would be amazing to indulge/be indulged with somebody else who shares this kink, but when somebody I’m in a relationship with, share emotional baggage, responsibilities, commitment etc with sneezes, it’s like that part of my brain is closed in a way it absolutely isn’t if somebody opposite me on the tube has a sneezing fit. 

 

 

[_Daisy_]

You know, I think I may actually feel similarly. I never do fetish stuff with my SO and have no desire to do so. I like to watch vids to get off and my appreciation of the sneeze has absolutely nothing to do with how the person looks. In fact, I have been really turned on by sneezes from people who I would be sexually repulsed by. It is fascinating.

[AceUpYourSleeve]

Fellow ace here who relates to some of your points. Not even being turned on, but I get this special feeling in a specific way and mood as you phrased it. However, the emotional investment in, let's say, a piece of fiction goes well together with sneezing or the like for me personally. In real life though? Nah, considerably less.

So interesting to read about other manifestations of it. 

[AceOfSpades]

Oh wow, this really aligns with how I feel, too! I’m rarely if ever attracted to irl sneezing (I could count on one hand the times I could deem being ‘attracted’ to a sneeze in a sexual sense), and things like wavs and videos really don’t do it for me. For me specifically I’ve strayed away from dabbling in that stuff and I maybe could get used to it if I weren’t a coward, can’t guarantee being attracted to it though haha

But yeah I get what you’re saying quite a lot!! I even go so far as to estimate how fast I could get off and move on with things because I’m usually not one to dwell on it— which I previously thought was just a Neurodivergence thing, but maybe I was wrong!

I also am an avid participator in fandoms, and I even get uncomfortable with the idea of being aroused by sneeze-fic of my favorite characters. The fetish is a completely separate thing from that kind of emotional investment for me— as far as I know, I can’t be attracted to a sneeze if it’s attached in any way to something I’m familiar with. It mostly only ‘works’ for fictional scenarios for me (which… maybe is why I’m so into monsters and fantasy creatures sneezing, lol)

I can’t be entirely certain about all of this, as my sex life is nonexistent, but all romantic attraction I’ve had has not been attached in any way to the fetish. That’s something completely seperate for me. Like a secret third sexuality almost?

I’m not entirely sure. But thank you for articulating this— I now know there’s other folks like me! 

[kathleenh4656]

On 3/4/2024 at 9:53 AM, dryblanket said:

I'm not really worked up or looking for reassurance (though I appreciate the sentiment). I was just hoping someone here might have a similar experience.

Yes, similar for me as female. Not sure what would happen if there was someone here, but just hearing a few sneezes on YOUTUBE turns me on; in private, while wearing a bluetooth.

Nothing happens like that if I'm in public.

[TheUnicycle]

Kinda similar- for me, it's mostly women I'm interested in for sneezing content(and I'm not generally sexually attracted to women), and generally only online stuff. I'm usually interested in men for other stuff, but I'm not interested in men sneezing unless I'm abnormally(for me) attracted to them. But everything in between "woman I don't know and am not directly engaging with" and "man I'm really really attracted to" either doesn't affect the attraction or actively reduces it. And with women, at least, it's a very different headspace than other attraction

[aceblues]

I think your experience is just as valid as everyone else's and just as awesome and interesting! I'm on the ace spectrum and pretty sure I relate on some levels. Specific kinds and patterns of sneezing fits are physically arousing for me. It is indeed like a switch in my brain and it is also far less susceptible to change based on who is sneezing or their physicality than I've heard it is for some other fetishists who've shared about this. When I'm listening to people sneezing to *get off* then I would never consider the person themself cute or hot, or feel desire to be close to them, or anything like that even if I did absolutely find the noises/faces/actions to be arousing in often intense ways. 

If you're open to a question: what is the connection for you between needing sneeze-related input to feel aroused versus not wanting it anywhere near your sex life? do other things get you going? or is it just a thing surrounding sex where you like to think about it, but wouldn't want anyone to physically indulge you? i think i get it, when you say different arousal sources that can't combine..

I experience emotional/romantic attraction and I do enjoy sneezing but honestly in a VERY different, so far un-intertwinable way. If I am romantically or emotionally attracted to someone, I'm not sure if I am capable of actually "getting off" or feeling fully physically aroused from their sneezing. So far it has not happened and the feelings I have in these situations are very different. If I'm reading a sneezefic with a person/character that I really like for instance, I feel only a very low grade arousal but very INTENSE emotional feelings. So my heart will clench, and pound and flutter. I will feel feelings which I think often compel people to use words like cute, mushy, melty, warm. I feel endeared. While these feelings are undoubtedly pleasurable and worth indulging for me, they are distinctly *different* from the other primarily physical-based feelings. With these emotional feelings, It is not about orgasm and I could never get there with those feelings alone.

I rather think this is all very normal and that humans just experience their congruence of emotional versus physical arousals in infinitely diverse ways 

[Sitruuna]

I guess I'm the exact opposite and I'm only commenting because I find it funny how my whole everything being built around a niche kink is something that has always felt very aroace to me 😅 Just like... any attraction I feel being tied to kink (to be fair I nowadays CAN get off on fictional material featuring more conventionally sexual things but that's more like a specific mood than the norm...) and that also tying into more general emotional satisfaction and blah blah blah so on and so forth. It extents beyond just being a sexual fetish (while continuing to be inseparable from that) as I very often use my kink fiction as a tool to seek emotional satisfaction through putting characters I can project shit on in Situations and having other characters deal with their shit lol. Honestly my fetish writing is probably 80% characters dealing with issues unrelated to my kink and 20% actual kink... I have jokingly called it my emotional support kink fiction before. 🙄

Anyhow it's fun to see the variety of experiences we have represented here.