Magician's Favour (Goblin, F)

[RiversD]

Silly little short featuring a female goblin inducing herself. That's about it.

 

Barda Falun, apprentice magician totally confident of earning her robes this year for sure, hovered nervously in the rear courtyard of the Five Rings tavern. Her long blue cloak slapped against her legs in the late-Autumn winds, and she kept getting odd looks from coachmen crossing the yard.

At long last, the kitchen door swung open and Kip stepped out for a smoke. The goblin worked in the tavern, cleaning and occasionally bartending when it was busy. She had befriended Barda two years ago, when the apprentice had tried to study in the bar during the quiet season. It turned out Kip knew a lot about magical theory, goblins being long-lived and having sharp ears (and possibly light fingers, but Barda hadn’t voiced her questions as to how Kip got hold of some of her books).

Barda waved and was incredibly relieved when Kip spotted her and waved back. She scuttled closer. Kip nodded to her, already rolling a thin cigarette between long yellowish-green fingers. She was wearing faded green overalls and a cosy knit hood with two slits to let her tall, pointed ears stand proud.

“Alright, Barda? Don’t usually see you round the back end.”

“No, I, uh… I was hoping to see you.”

Barda knew she was blushing already. Why, why couldn’t she be normal about this kind of thing? All her tutors were so nonchalant about these weird old spells. Magicians were supposed to be straightforward and practical about this stuff.

Kip licked her cigarette paper and sealed the roll.

“You know I’m always about. Private kind of conversation, is it?”

“Kind of? I, um… I wanted to ask a really weird favour and I didn’t think I’d have the guts inside.”

Kip nodded slowly. “I’m not doing anything involving horses, but go ahead. Most things turn less weird once you spell them out.”

She was right. This dithering about was silly. Barda took a deep breath and forced herself to say it plainly.

“I’ve got a spell I want to craft, and the recipe calls for a goblin’s sneeze.”

Kip burst into a cackling laugh. “One of those, eh?”

Barda looked down at her feet. “It’s a historical-”

Kip cut her off with a snort and a playful swipe at her arm.

“Yeah, they used a lot of that sort of thing in the old days. Shouldn’t be too hard to oblige. You got something to catch it in?”

“Uh, sure, just a second-”

Somehow blindsided by how easy that had been, Barda pulled the satchel off her shoulder and began rummaging in it.

“Thanks so much, Kip. It’s for a class and I really didn’t want to have to go back and start over on a new topic.”

Kip snorted. “Bet you left it late to start on this one, too. Am I right?”

“Maybe.” Barda’s flaming cheeks were more eloquent than her mouth.

Eventually, she pulled out a small blue drawstring bag. It was a classically designed spellbag, and would have enchantments in the weave to enable it to keep hold of the less tangible items one might need to collect for a spell- the laugh of a princess, the curse of a prisoner, the dying breath of a swan, or indeed, a sneeze from a friendly goblin.

“Nice,” Kip declared. “Reckon you can just about fit my nose in there.”

She touched one yellowed finger to the sharp tip of her nose for emphasis. It was an impressive nose, long and straight, with fine nostrils that flared out when she was particularly amused, effectively doubling the width of her nose when they did so.

“Alright,” she said, tucking her cigarette into her breast pocket.  “Shall we get straight into it?”

Barda fumbled with the bag. “Oh, sure- I mean, only if you’re ready, or-”

“Relax, it’s an easy thing.”

Kip wandered along the back wall of the tavern until she found some loose straw that hadn’t been trampled or otherwise spoiled. She sifted through a handful until she found one to her liking.

“Hmm, let’s see-” Kip split the straw with an expert touch, breaking the tip with her long nails then pulling it gently apart from the nick. “Yes, that’ll do. Come closer, then. Say when you’re ready with that bag.”

“A-alright, I’m ready.” Barda stood in front of Kip, feeling awfully foolish as she held her spellbag open just beneath the goblin’s pointed chin.

Kip discarded the spare half of the straw, tilted her head back and lifted the narrow stalk into her left nostril. Deeper, deeper, until it seemed to meet some slight resistance. She began to move it deftly back and forth, her long nostrils twitching open to accommodate its movement.

“C’mon,” she muttered. “I know there’s a- hah!”

Kip’s breath jagged into a ragged gasp, her nostrils suddenly flaring wide. Her upper lip curled back to reveal her small, viciously pointed teeth.

“Y-yeah, that’s the s-spot-” she stuttered, and began to work the straw with greater determination against the sensitive area, letting out short involuntary moans as she did so.

“hhah…”

Kip’s nostrils were at their full extent now, quivering in protest as she twirled and jabbed with the straw, refusing to give her nose a moment’s relief until it gave her what she was after. She made a flapping motion with her other hand and gasped a warning for Barda.

“h- get r-rhheady-hh!”

Barda held tight to the edges of the bag as Kip’s face twisted with a peaking irritation, teeth fully exposed as her breaths hitched towards a climax.

“hh-hhH….hAE’KCHHhiih!”

Kip’s head snapped forward, directing the force of her sneeze directly towards the open spellbag. Barda felt a soft weight land in the bottom of the bag and hastily tugged the drawstrings closed. She looked up again and saw Kip squinting at her through a building need, making sure she had successfully caught the sneeze.

Kip nodded approvingly, even as her nostrils flared and her lip pulled back again.

“Th-that’s one for you-” She turned her face to the side, drawing a deep, helpless gasp that rolled into a second sharp-edged sneeze.

“hEH’KCHHIIh!”

This one bent Kip double, splay-fingered hands braced against her knees as she loosed it over the cobbles. She straightened up, sniffed hard and ground one curled knuckle against the left side of her nose to dispel what was left of the itch. She smiled.

“And one just for me. Happy?”

Barda nodded, swallowed, stammered, “Uh, yes. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Kip laughed again. “Relax, kid. You get your robes, you’ll do worse. Now get on with you. I’ve earned my smoke.”

“Yes. Definitely. Thank you!”

Barda took Kip at her word and scurried away. She’d have to make the favour up someday. Still, if she earned her robes this year she’d have much more to offer when the opportunity came. She clutched her spellbag tightly and walked determinedly on.

[starpollen]

So creative!  Would love more of this world. 👏🏻 Well done.

[Blah!?]

Whoa, this was a lot of fun. I totally love the idea of a sneeze being a spell component, and I'm morbidly curious what that spell does. I like how you give such a sense of history with these characters in such a short time too.

Thanks for sharing!

[Demosthenes]

Great story!  I love your writing.  Thank you.

[AceUpYourSleeve]

Entertaining to read! Also, some nice worldbuilding and characterization in such little text, that's quite the accomplishment. 

[TheCakeIsAlive]

Really cute. I am very curious which spell does require that ingredient. Very vivid imagery. 

[Snakebyte]

Cute!  That was very well done for the length of the story.

[Akahana]

Simple, fun, and very cute!!  I don’t think we incorporate casual fantasy into your content enough, I really like this