Underdark Exploration - BG3 astarion

[dominchoo]

crosspost from tumblr! i don't think its too crazy, theres some language and mild innuendos (bc tav/reader has the kink sorry) and its in second person! no names or pronouns used i don't think (although astarion does call you darling, but thats just him)

 

anyways here you go!

 

 

“Beautiful.” Shadowheart mumbles under her breath as your small group descends into the shadows. Amidst the sprawling darkness, you can see the faint, mystical glow of the large fungi native to this region. 

“Ominous, more like.” Gale says, fingers grasping the support of the Zhentarim’s elevator. As it halts into the platform, you can't help but stumble a bit, catching yourself on your partner.

“Careful, darling.” He says with a smirk, reaching a hand out to steady you as you step onto the platform. “Gods, it’s dark down here.”

“It is called the underdark for a reason.” You quip lightly. “You’ll be back in the sun before you know it.”

Astarion rolls his eyes and scoffs, busying himself with unlocking the many (presumably black network) chests around you. You trail behind him, opening the chests and pocketing the useful items you can find. This was customary for the both of you now, he would unlock with his deft fingers and you would carry the valuable items.

“What the-'' Your resident cleric notices it first - the purple mist slowly crawling through the air towards you, tendrils reaching out to your party. Shadowheart steps back from her position in the lead, glancing at you with apprehension. “What in the hells is that?” 

“Ah, yes, because I’m three duergar in a trench coat. I don’t know!” You scoff, eyeing the mist. It looks… purple. 

“Floating spores are quite common in the underdark, although I’m not sure exactly what kind of spores these are.” Gale says, stepping forward to narrow his eyes in the direction of the mist. 

The purple tendrils swirl around you, tickling the tips of your pointed ears. As they surround your head, you feel a familiar pulling sensation in your brain. 

You can hear the low murmur of thousands of thoughts swimming through your head, most of them not your own. Unable to focus on any one voice in particular, you glance at your party members.

Ah! What in the hells? Astarion, the ivory haired vampire is also glancing frantically around, hand raised in front of his face. 

They are coming

A voice booms in your head, making you wince at the volume. Who is coming? 

Communication spores… Genius. Gale, seemingly unfazed, reaches into his pack to withdraw a small vial. He deftly uncaps and captures a fair amount of the purple spores before drawing a tome from his pack to investigate. 

“Careful, who knows what might be listening.” Shadowheart whispers, her mind a blur of frantic prayers to her deity and colorful curse words - as usual.

You guys can hear that too, right? You think deliberately, nervously glancing at your party. Please don’t answer me, please tell me I’ve finally gone off the deep end.

I’m afraid you’re still just as insane as before. Shadowheart’s pointed tone cuts above the hum in your mind. 

Fuck.

Astarion turns away from the group for a moment, shoulders taut with what is presumably anxiety. Shit shit sh- … I don’t think they heard me. Too focused on this damned purple- by the Gods, it tickles.

“Astarion, darling…” You place a hand on his shoulder, feeling him jump at the touch. 

He turns around to face you with a small sniffle. I don’t think I like the underdark- “I don’t think I like the underdark.” He sniffles again, stronger this time. “Too m-much… magi-hHhIh-c!” 

Astarion curls into himself and spasms twice- no, three times. Oh, you poor thing. You think, a small smile pulling on the corners of your lips. His teary red eyes narrow in your direction. 

“Don’t patronize me.” He says, attempting to veil his embarrassment with acidity. It's a poor attempt, his voice too breathy to be more than a half-hearted hiss. “hhHih’Nxggt!” 

Bless you.

Astarions eyes widen ever so slightly as he watches your lips. What the hells is this? 

“Aha!” Gale exclaims, withdrawing his nose from the tome he had retrieved out of his pack. “Rapport spores, used by colonies of myconids in the underdark to communicate. How incredible.” He added under his breath, continuing to read the text quietly. Or at least, it would be quiet, if these spores didn’t project his every thought as if it was your own. 

As if we need to be more in each other’s heads than we already are. The cleric rolls her eyes, crossing her arms indignantly. 

Gods he’s pretentious. You stifle a laugh at the comment from Astarion, nearly breaking into a full guffaw at the half-hearted eyeroll from the wizard - seems he didnt want to take his eyes off the text for too long

Hush, you all think too loud. Gale thought flatly, stepping away from the group to focus. Shadowheart reluctantly follows suit, casually trying to peer over Gale’s shoulder while also seeming nonchalant and uncaring. If you want to read, just say so.

As if I’m interested in your books, Gale.

Their thoughts quiet in your mind with their change in proximity. Instinctively, you wonder if that sudden voice was someone - something close by.

“hHe’gscHiuh!” Astarion curls away from you again, sniffling incessantly in the aftermath of the sneeze. “Gods, this is awful! I never thought I’d miss that damn grove.”

“Are you alright? You’ve been… uh, sneezing quite a bit.” The word feels foreign on your tongue, a flutter of something unidentifiable stirs in your stomach. Oh my fucking gods I cannot believe I just said that.

“Ah, glad to see you s-still hhhaH-! Hah’dzSHhuh! Have working ears and eyes, my dear.” He retrieves his handkerchief from his pocket to rub at his reddening nose as he finishes his sentence. Hm, I wonder…

You roll your eyes in lieu of a response. The butterflies are more like mayflies, no locusts in your stomach, making you a bit dizzy with anticipation. His thought was ambiguous, but just suggestive enough to make your cheeks a bit warm. Thank the gods it's dark down here. 

Maybe it’s the spores, that’d be awfully cute. You tacked on the last bit to tease him, but his eyes are hazy with that ‘pre-sneeze’ expression, so you press it more. Adorable.

“D-dohhHeh-! Don’t c-call me thhhheH- Id’Schhiuh!” He sniffles harshly, red eyes narrowed in your direction once again. You’re liking this, aren’t you?
 

You freeze, face hot with embarrassment. Oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods am I that fucking obvious? What the fuck? 

I can hear you, darling.  He teases, winking a watery eye at you. Gods, I didn’t know you were such a freak. He emphasizes the last word, raising his eyebrows into a smug expression. You stare incredulously at him for a second, watching as his smirk fades into yet another desperate ‘pre-sneeze’ face. “F-Fucking hhhells! hhH’Edshhhiuh!” 

“How could you tell?” I thought I was being casual… You ask quietly, unable to meet his eyes out of embarrassment.

“Don’t flatter yourself. I can read you like an open book even without this-” He waves his hand in the air, disturbing some of the mist that still hangs thick in the air around them “-phenomenon.” 

“Please don’t tell anyone.” You ask, finally locking eyes with him. I don’t think I can handle Lae’zel asking me questions about this. Both of you bristle at the thought, although Astarion does chuckle a bit. 

“Chk. Istiks and their weird hobbies. Vlaakith only likes missionary.” He jokes, trying his hardest to emulate the githyanki’s accent. You stifle a laugh against your hand. “hhH’Dzzshiuh! ehh’Idschhiuh!” 

“Bless you, star.” He doesn’t respond immediately, taking an extra moment to wipe at his nose with his handkerchief. 

You’re welcome, and don’t think I won’t remember this. He winks at you again before pushing forward to where Gale and Shadowheart are now quietly reading the wizard’s book. ‘A guide to Faerun flora and fauna: the Underdark’

“If we push deeper into this mist, we may find a Myconid colony. They might be able to help guide us through here.” Gale says when you approach. Shadowheart scoffs. 

“If something doesn’t kill us first, that is.” She rolls her eyes, standing up from where they had been sitting on a small crate. The wizard follows suit, dusting his robe off and returning the book to his pack. Astarion twists to the side again, back to stifling his sneezes into submission. They come noticeably faster when he does so, usually in fits of two or three, as opposed to his regular one. 

Is he alright? Shadowheart questions, looking at you. 

“You know I can hear you too, right?” Astarion looks up through teary eyes, sniffling thickly. “I’m quite fine, thank you, just this bl-blasted ffhHhhog-” He twists away with another set of stifles - two this time. 

“Not technically fog, no, they’re a kind of-”

“Yes, yes, Gale, they’re spores from some underdark mushroom person.” The vampire waves him off, rubbing at the underside of his nose again with his handkerchief. 

“I think… I think the myconid colony must be nearby. If that voice we heard was one of them, anyways. It seems to me like the further away we are, the quieter the connection is.” You posit to the group. 

“Maybe.” Gale responds, placing a finger onto his stubbled chin. “Although if this is how they communicate, they’d most likely be very skilled at utilizing it. Perhaps they’re able to control how intense the connection is, like we are with our tadpoles.” 

“I wouldn’t put too much faith in the intelligence of sentient mushrooms.” Shadowheart scoffs, giving Gale a look. That’s a stupid idea. You giggle, despite yourself, at the lack of tact she has in her thoughts. 

“Actually, mushrooms are very intelligent. They connect to a system of hyphae and are able to communicate through energetic impulses. I wouldn’t be surprised if these, as you put it, ‘sentient mushrooms’ are masters of mental communication.” 

You don’t have to hear Shadowheart’s thoughts to guess what she’s thinking. Why in the nine hells did I agree to traveling with such a verbose man?

Glancing back to your partner, he’s still massaging his nose through the cloth - trying in earnest to assuage the burning tickle that has rooted itself in his sinuses. Will you be alright?

Oh, hush, I’m fine. He rolls his eyes, chest stuttering for a brief moment. I’ll find you when we rest, yes?

“Gods, now we’ll be subjected to their telepathic flirting. As if this wasn’t bad enough.”

 

[secret19]

This is amazinnngggg!!! What’s your tumblr? I would love to read more!

[apricity]

Seconding the request for your tumblr, this was incredible and I especially love Astarion's reaction to figuring out the situation, felt it was in character in the hottest way hehe

[Guessagain]

You write Astarion so well! Great job!

[MidnightCatK]

Beautiful job! You captured all their personalities so well, and I hope you add more in the future! If you have access to the adult side of the forum, I bet you could even expand it there. 😉

[Wig_Powder]

While I haven't played Baldur's Gate 3 yet, I've seen enough videos of it to know that Astarion is very much up my alley, so I'd been hoping some sneezefic would eventually get written for him. And you delivered fantastically! I was wondering how best to get a vampire sneezing, and this seems pretty believable to me. To say nothing of Astarion being annoyed by the sneezing, turning into amusement when he realizes his lover's interest and no doubt figuring out how best to use it to his advantage. I can't speak to Gale or Shadowheart yet, but from where I'm sitting, your Astarion sounds pretty in character to me.

Excellent work, and if you ever get inspired to write more Astarion based material (either a continuation of this story or an entirely new one, rest assured that I'll be there!

[plantqueen]

I’ve been meaning to play this game. I really like this!!