"The Trouble With 'Toboggan'" - TGAMM Canon-Divergent Future AU (Magical curse, M&F)

[SleepingPhlox]

This is for @LastCarpet who mentioned wanting something to do with this a couple of times.  And who has been very supportive about my stuff on here, so this is my way of saying "thanks for being cool".  There was one problem with trying to write something around the "toboggan curse"...I refuse to acknowledge the events of that particular episode, and the "toboggan curse" hinges very heavily on things from that episode I refuse to acknowledge.  BUT! I figured out a way around it!  I present my solution, a canon-divergent future AU.

Spoilers for "The End" for anyone who cares.  

Spoiler

I was so unbelievably certain that it had been established that a wraith cannot go back into their body after a certain length of time. Like, I'd had this in my head since the concept of wraiths (people whose souls left their body without their body dying) were introduced and I was really surprised to find I'd apparently just made that up.  So, my AU goes with this concept.  Scratch couldn't go back into his body (which is what I was sure was going to happen).  He's got some emotional stuff going on related to the fact that he now knows what happened and knows he can't fix it, but in true Scratch fashion, he mostly just tries to repress all that. The "toboggan curse" is that if he's not dead, everyone will sneeze when they hear the word "toboggan".

So, that's my explanation for how the curse can still operate with Scratch still floating around as a ghost. Boom.

And, as a future AU, every character in this story is not only over 18, but can legally drink in the good ol' U S of A. And everybody is sneezing all up in here. Well, Scratch is implied.

I am hereby accepting suggestions for fics set in this future alternate-universe! Or anything TGAMM related, really!

___________________________________

The Trouble With "Toboggan"

Sometimes, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Pete and Sharon McGee both looked the same. Pete had slightly less hair in front, and they both had grey encroaching on their hairstyles, and Pete in his beard, but there was still a comforting familiarity to their appearances.

The McGee house still looked the same…Same size, same shape, same colour…but it was a prouder, more polished version of itself. Year by year, improvements had been made, until it had been restored to something close to what it had looked like when it was new. Scratch had confirmed as much, though it was always obvious that it saddened him to think of such things. It was a huge help when it came to fixing up the house that once Sharon found moderate success as an artist her and Pete suddenly had much more disposable income than they’d had before. First it was her children's book illustrations, then she somehow found herself doing concept art for cartoon pitch bibles. She’d never known that was a thing, but it was a thing, and she was good at it. She'd lately been thinking about pitching an idea of her own, about a family who moved into a house with a cranky ghost.  Though, she wasn't sure anyone would be interested in that.

In speaking of illustrations, she’d been trying to work on one all morning, but she couldn’t keep from constantly looking out the front window - looking for a certain small purple car with daisy decals down both sides.

As luck would have it, it came when she finally managed to tear herself away from the window and go down to the basement to grab the laundry out of the dryer. She heard Darryl bellow “She’s here!” from upstairs, and dropped the laundry basket where she stood and rushed up the basement stairs so fast she nearly tripped. That wouldn’t do. One ghost in the family was plenty enough.

One would think that the intervening ten years since she first set foot in Brighton, especially the responsibility of going off to college - majoring in civic studies, naturally - would have at least somewhat tempered Molly McGee’s extreme enthusiasm for life. But one would be wrong. She practically leapt out of the car as soon as she saw her family waiting for her in the familiar doorway of the house her family had claimed as their “forever home” ten years ago.

“YOU GUYS!” She shrieked the entire way up the front path, flinging her arms open wide before launching herself into her mother Sharon’s arms with an energetic hug, which soon became an enthusiastic group hug with her entire family. She was finally home in Brighton where she belonged. The time away had been fun - especially with Scratch as an ever present companion, and occasional bad influence - but her heart always had been, and always would be, in Brighton.

In speaking of Scratch…

“Don’t you guys even think for a second about hugging me like that…” he grumbled, followed by a slightly pouty “But it would have been nice to be offered one, so I could refuse it.” A hand emerged from the entanglement and grabbed him by the arm, yanking him in until he was hopelessly absorbed into the hug.

Once he was sure he was sufficiently shielded from anyone’s view, he allowed himself a blissful smile. He was still the same old Scratch, after all. The more things changed, the more they really did stay the same.

***

It wasn’t long before they were inside, catching up over snacks and soda.

A bird chirping sound alerted Molly to a notification on her phone, and she turned the screen toward herself to check it.

“That was Libby,” she explained. “She’ll be helping to close up the bookshop soon, and then she’ll be right over. Oh, I can’t wait to see her again. FaceTime is fun and all but there’s nothing like being face to face! Oh, it’s going to be just like old times again!” She plopped herself down onto a chair. “And I can’t wait to start my job as Official Town Enhappifier! Yes, I know, I know, “Quality Of Life Specialist”, but that’s merely semantics. We all know what it really means.” She couldn’t help but look pleased with herself, as one would when a lifelong dream is finally coming to fruition.

“My sister, the nepo baby. You’re lucky Dad’s on the City Council, so he could push to have that job created just for you.” Daryl teased, sock-clad feet propped on the coffee table as he played with his phone. If there was anything that had stayed the same, it was Darryl. He might be a few feet taller and outwardly more mature, but he was still the same old Darryl as he ever was. “Seriously, though, I am happy for ya, Molly. And…I’m glad you’re back.”

“I had to interview for the job same as everyone else,” Molly shot back, sticking her tongue out at him, just like old times. “I'm glad to be back, too.”

“I can’t wait to show you what we’ve started up,” Pete gushed. “Of course you’ll be overseeing all of these and coming with new ones of your own. Let’s see…there’s the Easter Egg hunt in the park for Easter.”

“Of course.”

“And to honour Halloween’s Irish roots, and our Irish roots…a turnip carving competition for Halloween, using genuine, locally grown, Brighton turnips.”

“Oooh, I love that! Scratch, you’re gonna love that one. Turnip jack-o-lanterns are freaky looking!”

“Already planning my winning design,” Scratch replied.

“And you know that one road with the really steep hill, the hill that really shouldn’t exist because this place is really flat and it makes no logical sense?”

“Oh, that one that I only ever needed to go up when I was riding my bicycle or carrying something really heavy? That complete anachronism? I remember that.”

“It is now the official site of the Brighton Annual Soapbox Derby in the summer…and the Brighton Annual Toboggan Race in the win-”

That was as far as he got into that sentence, when the whole family suddenly sneezed at once, a symphony composed of an entire range of sneezes - from Sharon’s dainty “hihh’tchuu”, to Pete’s hearty and robust window-rattling Dad Sneeze. They all sat, momentarily stunned, before every face turned to angrily face Scratch.

Scratch expression also started out as stunned, though it was more of a stunned delight. Then a wicked grin spread across his face, and he burst out into raucous laughter.

“Oh, man!” He exclaimed, between hearty guffaws and gasps for breath, kicking the little blobs of ectoplasm at the end of his “body” as if they were legs, and slapping the arm of the chair he was sitting in. “I totally forgot I set that curse.” He tried to calm his laughter down to a mere chuckle, and failed. “Oh, that is priceless!” He wiped a mirthful tear from his eye, as the rest of the family wiped their noses on their hands.

“Well, we didn’t forget, Scratch!” Sharon growled. “That curse has been a nuisance every since since the Annual Tob-” She stopped herself, narrowing her eyes at him. “The sled races started.”

Scratch floated over to her, grinning at her in that way he did when he had Scratch-Brand mischief on his mind.

“Oh, nonono, my dear Sharon,” he taunted. “Say the proper name.”

“No.”

Scratch pretended to study the fingernails his ghostly hands did not have. “Oh, but you really should. Accuracy is very important. They might have similar purposes but, you know, technically…technically, a sled is a sled and a-”

“Scratch, don’t you dare.”

“Toboggan is a toboggan.”

That was twice, and the curse demanded instant payment: A “hihh’shii…hihh’tchii” from Sharon, a quick “yihhhSSSH…yihhTSHHH!” From Daryl, a “hihPTCH!…hihhh…IPTCH!” From Molly and a resounding “HRAHH’SHOO! Hahhh…HRAGGHH’TCHOOOO!” From Pete.

“Okay, Scratch, you’ve had your fun, but enough is enough,” Molly grumbled.

“Oh, I do not think that was anywhere near enough,” Scratch grinned. “You see, the thing about toboggans…” (A chorus of sneezes) “Is that once I start thinking about toboggans…” (Another chorus of sneezes) “It is weirdly hard to stop thinking about toboggans.” (Yet another chorus of sneezes)

“Okay, that is enough,” Sharon declared, stomping over to Scratch to loom over him like a hungry wolf over a bunny rabbit. “Scratch, if you know what’s good for you, you will remove that curse this instant!”

“Oh, no can do! That’s just not how curses work. If you could just remove a curse just like that, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. I would have just removed that curse that got me stuck with you guys in the first place and gone on my merry way.” He didn’t need to turn to look at Molly to know exactly what face she was making at him, all big watery puppy dog eyes and quivering lips. “Oh, you know what I mean. Current Me is very happy here. But Past Me? Past Me totally would have done that. Ghost curses are binding for eternity until the terms of the curse are broken, or unless you find a loophole. So as long as that former body of mine insists on dragging itself around this mortal coil, I get to keep having fun with the word…” He slowed down, allowing his lips and tongue to savour every vowel and consonant. “…toboggan.”

“Hihh’shiii”

“HihPTCH!”

“Yihhh’TSHHH!”

“HRAAASHHHHHOO!”

Scratch broke into another fit of laughter. “Man, I am never going to get tired of that!”

Sharon pushed up both her sleeves. “So if your former body goes kaput, we’re all free of the curse? That can be arranged…”

Molly gasped. “What? Mom! No! You can’t just go kill someone to avoid having to sneeze a few times!”

“It wouldn’t really be killing someone. His spirit is right here, that's technically dead. His body just hasn’t gotten the memo yet!”

Scratch floated around to face Sharon, and there was a sadness in his eyes that wasn’t usually present. It made her regret bringing the subject up, even as a joke. Of course she never really planned on killing anyone, not even a soul-less husk of a body. “But, Your Honor, I swear, that guys eternal soul has been hanging out with us for ten years” probably wouldn’t hold up as an argument in a court of law.

“Leave him…I mean…the body…my body” It was hard to think of a way to refer to one’s previous corporeal self that one had no connection to any more. Scratch struggled with the emotional aspects of the whole thing, even now. Might have had something to do with his habit of not dealing with things that were too hard. “Leave the body alone. It’s not his fault I did what I did and then couldn’t undo it and now I get to be out here having all the fun, while he…” His voice cracked. “Just leave him alone, okay?”

Scratch looked at Sharon with pleading yellow eyes, while he played with his fingers in that nervous habit he did when he was experiencing uncomfortable emotions. Sharon put a hand on his shoulder.

“Scratch, I’d never actually do something like that. You have my word.”

Scratch looked back at her, his face shining with gratitude. He put a hand on Sharon’s shoulder in return.

“Thank you, Sharon. Because the most important thing to remember here, is…” He took a deep, measured breath as he looked down at the floor, before looking up once again.

“TOBOOOOGAAAAAN!” He sang theatrically as he shot through the ceiling, amid yet another chorus of sneezes.

***

At least Scratch decided to stay out of everyone’s hair after that. It was as fortunate for him as it was for the rest of the family - if he kept up his nonsense, Sharon was going to do her best to find out if there was a level of being dead past ghosthood that she could send him to.

A knock at the door sent Molly hurtling from her chair and in the direction of the front door in a manner that only a freight train with brake failure could replicate. She found herself shrieking “Libby!!!” as she flung open the door so hard it threatened to come off its hinges.

Libby had outwardly grown more sophisticated in the last few years, long hair in a french braid, her black and brown clothes a sleek yet casual style. But her demeanour remained largely the same, though maybe with a touch more confidence than before. The two girls embraced, and Libby let out a little squeak as Molly hugged her just a tiny bit too tightly.

“Oh, Molly, I missed you.”

“I missed you too!”

“We have so much to catch up on. Where’s Sc-”

At that moment, the sound of mischievous chuckling caused both of them to look up. Scratch was above them, partially phased through the ceiling, elongating his malleable body so that he looked like a glowing blue serpent. A glowing blue serpent with a devious smile on his face.

“Toboggan,” he said quickly, before disappearing back into the ceiling, leaving only his chaotic laughter behind as Molly and Libby unleashed ferocious sneezes into each other’s faces at close range.

“Scraaaatch!” Molly cried out, as she wiped the spray from her face, but he was already elsewhere, zipping through the walls of the house, planning his next move.

Sharon going down to the basement to collect the laundry she’d abandoned earlier? Scratch popped out of the pile of clothes, grinning.

“Toboggan”

“Hihh…tchiiu!” She dropped the laundry onto the basement floor. “Scraaaaatch!”

Pete measuring some ingredients for the celebratory lemon squares he planned on serving later? The top of Scratch’s head bobbed above the surface of the counter like Jaws contemplating a tasty human snack.

“Toboggan.”

“HRAHH…SHUUUU!” Now he was wearing the flour down the front of his clothes. “Scraaaatch!”

Darryl carefully arranging his carnivorous plant collection in the greenhouse outside? Scratch emerged from the garden hose.

“Toboggan!”

“Yihhh…ssssh!” Darryl dropped his favourite plant, spilling the dirt everywhere. “Scraaaaatch!”

**

After an entire day of this, everyone had had enough. They had gone through every last tissue in the whole house, and had resorted to using toilet paper and paper towels. Noses were rubbed raw and bright red, and patience was worn so thin it was hanging on by a thread. And Scratch showed no signs of stopping his reign of terror any time soon.

“We have to do something about this,” Molly groaned, blowing her nose into a paper towel, and groaning at the pain it left behind.

“Yeah, pranks are only funny if they’re not being played on me,” Darryl grumbled.

“But what can we do?” Pete said from behind the wad of toilet paper he dared not move from underneath his nose. “We don’t know as much about ghost curses as an actual ghost does!”

Molly perked up, suddenly and violently. “But we do know other ghosts!” she exclaimed, in a triumphant shriek.

Fortunately, Geoff was a very easy ghost to get a hold of.

UNfortunately, he had absolutely no new ideas on how to break the curse.

“Sorry guys,” he said dejectedly. “The wording is solid, here. For once, Scratch actually did a good job on a curse.”

That earned an indignant “Hey, I heard that!” From somewhere within the walls.

Geoff tapped a finger against his lips. “But even if we can’t break the curse, maybe we might be able to…make it a little less fun for Scratch. Make him think twice before using it…But we need to keep our voices down, so he doesn’t hear us…”

Geoff leaned in and whispered his idea to Molly, whose smile grew wider and nods of approval grew even more emphatic the more she heard…

So, the plan was set into motion and the trap was set. The pizza with extra pineapple (Scratch’s favourite) was ordered, Libby had been sent out to stock up on ridiculous amounts of tissues, which had been smuggled back into the house in shopping bags under loads of vegetables, the one thing that wouldn’t arouse Scratch’s curiosity. As the moment of the pizza delivery grew near, Geoff attached himself to the ceiling above the door, spreading his light green ectoplasm so thin, he was practically undetectable.

When the doorbell rang, as predicted, Scratch rushed to the entryway, salivating over the prospect of pizza. As a ghost, he couldn’t accept the delivery, but he sure as hell could make sure he was first in line for the biggest slice. He couldn’t help but bob excitedly in the air. For a small town pizza place, the Brighton Pizzeria sure did make some of the best pizza he’d ever eaten. As soon at the door closed, he decided to make his demands known.

“I want the piece with the most toppings,” Scratch declared. “And don’t anybody get in my way, or I might have to break out a little word I’ve grown fond of…you might have heard of it…the word t-”

Suddenly he was all wrapped up in something, and whatever it was held his mouth tightly, so he couldn’t get a word out. He had no need to breathe, so that wasn’t an issue. It was just, very, very annoying. He struggled, only to find himself wrapped tighter. He was wrapped up in…

Geoff?

Geoff had stretched out his lower body and wound it around Scratch like a rope, keeping him completely immobile. But…why..? Oh, now Geoff was stretching himself out in size, twisting his face into something jagged and terrifying, like he was about to…

Oh, no. Oh, nonono. Scratch knew where this was going, and he had to stop it! He struggled to get free, but Geoff’s grip tightened on him.

“Geoff, buddy, come on…you don’t have to do this! I’m your best friend, remember?”

“Aww, I’m sorry, Scratch. This is gonna hurt me as much as it hurts you. But there’s no other way.” Geoff pointed a menacing finger directly at Scratch’s nose. “I curse you, Scratch. For as long as the curse remains on your friends to sneeze when they hear the word ‘toboggan’-” He had to pause to join in on the sneezing that had overtaken everyone else. “You too will suffer the exact same fate.”

With that, he released Scratch, who fell to the ground with an unceremonious “plop”.

“Yeah, real clever, you guys,” Scratch scowled. “Okay, okay, now we’re even, and nobody is ever going to say tob-…uh, that word, ever again. Happy?” He paused, and looked at everyone else quizzically. “Uh..guys..?”

They were advancing on him, hands gripping massive wads of fresh tissues like their life depended on it. Exchanging looks of grim determination, and nodding at each other.

“Guys, no…”

“We must suffer,” Pete muttered. “But it will be worth it to get our revenge.”

“NO!”

Hands surrounded Scratch from all sides, pinning him down against the floor, as the wickedly grinning faces of the McGee family, Libby, and that traitor Geoff loomed above him. Scratch squirmed, but he couldn’t manage to get free. He had no choice but to submit to his punishment.

Then the chant began. Everyone, in unison.

“Toboggan. Toboggan. Toboggan. Toboggan. Toboggan. Toboggan. Toboggan. Toboggan.”

THE END

 

[webmeistro]

Hehe that was cute

So I guess you're just pretending the final episode didn't happen? I didn't like it either, mostly because it just didn't make sense.

[SleepingPhlox]

7 hours ago, webmeistro said:

Hehe that was cute

So I guess you're just pretending the final episode didn't happen? I didn't like it either, mostly because it just didn't make sense.

Thank you!

Oh, man, don't even get me started. It didn't make sense (and felt crammed in and sudden) because it was never supposed to BE there. Season 2 was supposed to end on "Jinx Vs. The Human World" and there was supposed to be a Season 3.  A lot of people thought it was lovely and very emotional and whatever, but for me, not enough happened to build up to making me care about any of that.  Most of the "big stuff" happened crammed into that 20 minutes and that just wasn't enough for me to get invested in it. It just left me feeling "meh".

Therefore...to paraphrase the Mythbusters, I reject your canon, and substitute my own.

[webmeistro]

For me it not only didn't make sense, but it was also boring. Scratch used to be a different person, and this person is... the dullest guy you can imagine?

[LastCarpet]

OH MAN THIS IS INCREDIBLE WORK!!!
And thanks for the shout out BTW

I hope there's more coming
(We still don't know how Ollie and June turned out)

[SleepingPhlox]

On 3/26/2024 at 7:09 PM, webmeistro said:

For me it not only didn't make sense, but it was also boring. Scratch used to be a different person, and this person is... the dullest guy you can imagine?

Maybe if they had gotten to do Season 3 as planned and fleshed out his backstory before getting to that ending it would have felt more natural but as it was...nope. In my opinion it would have been better to leave it without the crammed on ending but...I think I'm a minority in the fandom there.

On 3/27/2024 at 10:54 PM, LastCarpet said:

OH MAN THIS IS INCREDIBLE WORK!!!
And thanks for the shout out BTW

I hope there's more coming
(We still don't know how Ollie and June turned out)

I actually wasn't planning on continuing it, but now that you've said that...now I suddenly have ideas for those two as well. They were out of town for this part, but are travelling back for the big reunion and...yeah, watch this space in a few days. And if there's any other characters you want to see, throw them at me in the meantime.  I really like my little alternate future universe and I wanna keep playing in this sandbox!

[webmeistro]

3 hours ago, SleepingPhlox said:

Maybe if they had gotten to do Season 3 as planned and fleshed out his backstory before getting to that ending it would have felt more natural but as it was...nope. In my opinion it would have been better to leave it without the crammed on ending but...I think I'm a minority in the fandom there.

Was there any particular reason they cancelled it?

[LastCarpet]

On 3/29/2024 at 4:14 PM, SleepingPhlox said:

Maybe if they had gotten to do Season 3 as planned and fleshed out his backstory before getting to that ending it would have felt more natural but as it was...nope. In my opinion it would have been better to leave it without the crammed on ending but...I think I'm a minority in the fandom there.

I actually wasn't planning on continuing it, but now that you've said that...now I suddenly have ideas for those two as well. They were out of town for this part, but are travelling back for the big reunion and...yeah, watch this space in a few days. And if there's any other characters you want to see, throw them at me in the meantime.  I really like my little alternate future universe and I wanna keep playing in this sandbox!

Hmm...An Molly/Ollie double date with June/Darryl sounds good (especially with that Toboggan curse still active)
Maybe a return for Sonia Davis(the Ice Princess). Even if she's nice now, I could still see her causing blizzards(and colds) with her ghostly powers
(I also wouldn't mind seeing some of the other female ghosts. Howlin' Harriet, Sally Tugbottom, Grimbella...)
Maybe even a Story Sprite could cause trouble as a sneeze causing monster (if it ate the right story)

The only other character I'm interested in ATM is Gertrude, the punky Morticia Addams like lady whose creepy family adopted a possessed doll
She has a septum piercing that could easily be sneezed out