Burn (Jonah & Lily, M)

[Skylacticon]

Hey.  This has been in the works for a bit, and I thought I'd post it. More of Jonah and Lily in the earlier stages of their romance. Hope y'all have been well. xx

-

 

☕️🌨️🕯️

(Slow) Burn / Burn (Out) / Burn (the candle at both ends)

 

 

Lily tore her eyes away from the computer screen to glance back at him. It could tick her off sometimes, temporarily, how tall he was, how he could see her. And that notion seemed ultimately silly because she wasn’t exactly invisible, although something about his quiet presence was in varying degrees, prompting. It was easy to play off of. Riff off of. But right now, she didn’t have enough grip on things to think of that. All Lily could think of was how she felt like people were watching, waiting, needing something from her, and her endurance was faltering.

 

“What?” she muttered, running a shaky hand through her hair.

 

“I said I’m not leaving,” he repeated, and sat down on the old, beaten couch. He held her capo in his hands, squeezing the clamp open and closed, his expression still and soft.

 

Lily’s eyes drifted away, over the blank walls and to the other side of the room. Her eyes caught on the old curtain, the heavy, black velvet one that had been there forever. She shook her head and looked at him again.

 

“Don’t you also have work to do?” 

 

“It’s just work,” Jonah said quietly. The capo opened and shut in his big hands.

 

Lily blinked, her eyes starting to sting a little with the weight of tears. She blinked again, managing to keep them back.  Her breath was starting to quicken a little, and she stared at the computer monitor, trying to calm herself down. “I just need a couple more hours.”

 

“Lily, love,” Though it was said on the gentlest of tones, the softest of voices, Lily couldn’t help but feel frustration. He continued. “It’s past midnight. And you’re tired.”

 

“Of course I’m tired,” Lily gave a sad exhale of a laugh, turning to pace again in front of the monitor. “But this is due before class tomorrow.”

 

“Lily.”

 

“I’m staying,” she said firmly.

 

Jonah said nothing. His gaze followed her lavender cardigan, as she sat back down in the office chair in front of the computer. Her tired eyes returned to her open project, a mess of conceptual tracks she’d been trying to mix for the past three hours. It had been going relatively smoothly, until she realized she’d forgotten a key element, and only had about eight hours before it would be needed for submission.

 

“Then let me know when you’re finished.”

 

Lily peeked over at the couch. The soles of Jonah’s black Converse were pointed at her, rested up on the arm of the sofa, his frame laid back across the cushions. The length of the piece of furniture was almost too short to accommodate his long legs and torso, though he lounged casually, staring up at the ceiling with his hands behind his head.

 

She stared at him for a while, her eyes still damp, but the crying feeling had vanished momentarily amidst her disbelief. After a bit, his eyes connected with hers, still solemn and patient.

 

“What, am I bothering you?” he asked in a calm, quiet voice.

 

Lily scoffed softly and disconnected her gaze. She sniffed and looked back at the screen with a rather weakened expression. Maybe Jonah was right. Maybe there wasn’t much she could do given the circumstances. But it was possible, still. She’d done this before, in tougher conditions.

 

“hHt’nxXgck-!! -hnhh…”

 

…Shit.

 

Lily blinked at the screen, unable to skip over the sound, let alone the following sniffles and rustling of Jonah’s flannel as he raised a hand to his face. The old black curtain lounged on the other side of the room, its velvety gloss coming across as sinister.

 

Lily had totally forgotten about the dust. When he’d come by to check on her, she was just so relieved to see him, and he’d stayed to keep her company while she was working. But she’d forgotten that the dust often triggered his allergies, in her trance-like focus. A mix of anger and affection coursed through her, and she sighed, her glassy eyes shifting.

 

“Bless you,” she said quietly.

 

“Thank you,” he breathed.

 

“Jonah, you should go.”

 

“Lil,” Jonah said gently.

 

“Don’t-“ Her gaze flicked upward, eyes like daggers. She took a quick breath, and averted her gaze. The monitor was still waiting, with the latest draft of her project. She knew that she shouldn’t be staying. But there didn’t seem to be any other option, if she wanted the piece to be in a place she was at least somewhat happy with. She stood up, making the chair rattle slightly.

 

After a beat, she turned back to Jonah. “Give me the capo.”

 

Jonah’s expression was still solemn, feigning nonchalance. He looked down at his long, fidgety fingers, which were still holding onto Lily’s black capo. His dark eyes glanced up again.

 

“Jonah,” she huffed. “Give me the capo, I need it,” she requested again, but he just stood there, holding the object more consciously now. “Jonah-“ she marched over to him and he took a step back - a big enough one to make her loathe his height. “Really?”

 

“Will you listen to me for a second?” he asked, his soft eyes staring her down.

 

“I don’t have time for this,” she sighed. She tried to make another grab for the capo in his hand, but he moved it away. This fucking man.

 

“Would you just-“ Lily reached out and managed to grab onto one of end of the capo. He had a tight grip on it though, and while she pulled with all her might, he seemed to be pulling back. “Give it!”

 

“Lily-“ Jonah grunted. Lily tugged hard, frustrated. After a beat, he unexpectedly let go, causing Lily to stumble backward with the capo in her hand. As she quickly caught her balance, her brain had caught up with the silliness of the situation. She glanced up at Jonah.

 

He’d turned away slightly, his other hand lifting toward his face. His frame rose with a soft gasp, and pitched to the side with another harsh stifle. “hhdT’gxXSCHHhiu-!! -Agh, *snrff!*”

 

“Bless you,” she mumbled, somewhat automatically. She walked back to the desk and picked up her guitar. She slung the strap over her shoulder and began to position the capo.

 

Jonah let out a breathy exhale, and snuffled thickly. It sounded quite wet. After a quiet beat, Jonah cleared his throat and sniffled again, more quietly. Lily began to pluck the strings, checking the tuning.

 

“…*sdrf!*”

 

One of the strings was a bit off. Lily pulled off the capo and started to turn the tuning peg ever so slightly.

 

“*snrf, kof!*”

 

Lily let out a soft sigh. “Can... Can you blow your nose?” She asked without looking up, playing and tuning the string until it sounded right.

 

“*snrf!* Yeah, let me just find a tissue…”

 

With the string sounding at a workable pitch, she slapped the capo back onto the guitar’s neck and tried it out again.

 

But then, harsh and still smothered- “huHdt’ISSCHHiuh!! *snrff!* ‘Scuse me."

 

Lily’s left hand began forming the song chords. “Bless you,” she breathed.

 

“Thanks, *snrff!*”

 

Though she wasn’t looking, she heard a thick sniffle, then Jonah unzipping and zipping the pockets of his backpack, and another sniffle, and Jonah feeling his jeans pockets, and another sniffle, and Jonah clearing his throat, and another sniffle.

 

“I said you should blow-“

 

“I heard you. I thought I had tissues on me.”

 

Something venomous in Lily was wondering how he could’ve forgotten to bring tissues, if he was going to choose to stay in this dusty studio while she was working. Meanwhile, her fingers were pausing, hovering over the strings, as Jonah continued to search his bag.

 

“*ah-hemm*... *snrgk!* hih-!”

 

Lily’s ears picked up on a soft hitch, between more marshy sniffles. He just sniffled again, his breath more audible as he seemed to be doing so through his mouth. Lily’s left hand muted the strings.

 

The next sniffle sounded a bit desperate, the allergic misery becoming more noticeable. Lily glanced over at him.

 

Jonah’s expression appeared preoccupied, different from when he was trying to convince her to take it easy. His eyes were glassy and shifting around thoughtfully, his brow slightly creasing as his flushed nose twitched. “…*snrk!*”

 

Lily let out a sigh, and paced over to her own backpack.

 

“*sdrf!**ahem~*” Jonah looked like he needed to sneeze again. Outwardly, he tried to appear casual, taking slow, quiet breaths and sniffing liquidly. But with each sharp intake of air through his nose, he only became itchier. “…*snnrff!*”

 

“Here,” Lily breathed, tapping him on the shoulder with a pack of travel tissues she’d stashed away in her bag.

 

Jonah glanced up with slightly pink, gleaming eyes, and snuffled shyly before accepting the pack of tissues. “*snnrk!* Oh, thagk you,” he huffed, his long fingers opening the plastic with urgency.

 

Lily nodded, sneaking another glance over at Jonah before returning to the monitor on the desk. Her fingers tugged gently at the guitar strings, not quite plucking them yet.

 

The pack of travel tissues had been in the front pocket of Lily’s bag for a while, but it had never been opened. It was actually there because of Jonah, because Lily knew how it could get sometimes with his allergies. He never seemed to make a fuss whenever they started to act up, just like now, when he’d been sitting there saying nothing, sniffling every five seconds. And she just knew that those stifles had to be painful, from the first time they were alone together - he could barely do it properly more than twice in a row.

 

She saw Jonah rise in her peripheral vision and pace to the far side of the room to blow his nose. Gently, but productively. Lily’s fingers on her right hand began to move, ad-libbing the chord progression.

 

“*snff!* ….*ahemm, snrff!*”

 

As Lily zoomed in on a particular section in her project, she heard Jonah flop down on the couch again. She toyed around with the automation, wondering if she could find a way to balance the mix better. There were sections that seemed a bit bare, but she wondered if adding to it might be too much.

 

“nN’gxXck!!-chiuhh… *snf*”

 

“Bless,” her lips formed the gentle word, eyes still glued to the screen.

 

“Thank you, *sdrf!*”

 

“You should go home, it’s too dusty in here,” Lily said softly after a bit.

 

“It’s fine,” Jonah responded without missing a beat, though his voice was quite breathy, his fingers rubbing hard at his nose with a tissue. "I'm not... *g'hm.* ...I'm not-" Then suddenly he gasped and turned, and let out a rather harsh sneeze. “h-heht'-! hHRR'USSCHHIEWWw-!!”

 

Lily couldn’t help but glance over. It seemed as if it had caught him off guard. What followed was a harsh, liquid sniffle, and a soft huffing exhale as he kept rubbing his itchy nose. “*snndrff* Ugh, Jesus... *g’hmm~*….”

 

“Bless you.”

 

“Thagk- unh, *sdrff!* Thagk you. *sdf* Scuse be, goodness, sorry.”

 

“You okay?” A cursory ask, not meaning anything regarding her plans for the night.

 

“Yeah… *snrff!*” He sounded slightly unsure, but he was still seated.

 

“You need some air?”

 

“Doe. *snnrgk!* ...Ah. Like I said, I'b dot leaving."

 

“Okay,” she replied to his stubborn refusal. “Blow your nose.”

 

There was a soft huff from Jonah’s direction, and another gentle nose blow, this time thicker. Jonah cleared his throat. He was beginning to sound more congested.

 

Lily’s fingers tapped on the side of her acoustic guitar. Jonah didn’t seem to be watching her like before. He was busy wiping his nose, which had visibly reddened.  He was really doing this. His wide, crimson nostrils twitched with a thick sniffle.

 

“I’ve been here later, you know,” Lily said after a bit.

 

“For an after party, that doesn’t count,” Jonah huffed.

 

Lily turned to him. “Why not? The performance and clean up took up the whole day, and it's always been like that-"

 

“Well because-“ Jonah exhaled. He lowered the tissue and sat there, red-nosed and bleary-eyed. “There’s a differedce, *akhrmm, snnrFF!* There’s a difference between celebrating and burning the candle at both ends.”

 

Lily paused. Her brow furrowed. “You think I’m burning the candle at both ends?”

 

“Lil-“

 

“I used to be worse than this,” she went on.

 

“Then it’s progress.”

 

“I used to play at the Well every night during the week and still submit my assignments on time.”

 

“That was during the pandemic. And you weren’t in the Composition stream then.”

 

“I used to be… so much better.”

 

“Oh, Lily,” Jonah breathed. It came out partly like a scoff, like it was irrelevant, and maybe it was. Lily knew that the situations weren’t the same. She wasn’t the same person as she was then. A fact both freeing and agonizing.

 

Jonah got up and walked over to her. As his arms gently wrapped around her from behind, her head seemed to quiet. She let out another shaky breath. Her right hand lifted, and rested on top of Jonah’s.

 

“Jo,” she whispered after a bit, tired of the feeling of needing to cry but suppressing it.

 

Jonah sniffled softly, above her head. “Yes?”

 

“Will…” She swallowed, and exhaled. “Will you drive me home?” Lily stared at her project on the monitor with stinging eyes.

 

“Of course,” Jonah said quietly, without letting go.

 

Lily didn’t move for several more seconds. Jonah’s grip was secure, steadying her. Letting him hold her up, she began to think of a plan for this project, what to say, and a realistic timeline for completion. All this just meant… she could go home and go to sleep. And that idea wasn’t even hers, it was Jonah’s. It felt like it was what she needed. It was probably what she needed.

 

“Um,” she began again, able to stand more firmly. “Can you carry my other bag? The one with the daisy on it?”

 

Jonah’s arms loosened slightly. “*ahem* This one? *snnrff!*” He sniffled for the first time in a bit, liquidly, as if he’d been trying to stay quiet. He gestured to her duffel bag by the couch, one she used to carry around equipment and various noise-making things she found useful.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“‘Course.”

 

“Thank you,” she breathed. As Jonah detached from her to grab the bag, she put her guitar down and began to log out of the computer.

 

“You know, I’d carry you, if you asked,” Jonah went on casually.

 

That actually made her smile. She knew. Lily chuckled and sniffed. “I know you’d try.”

 

“It wouldn’t be that hard.”

 

“It means you carry the guitar, too. Not to mention the weight of my sins,” Lily mused.

 

“What about the guitar’s sins?”

 

“The guitar has no sins.”

 

“Except for the hand nerve thing,” Jonah reminded her. “heHpt’EEISSCHHhh!!” He’d managed to catch it in his sleeve, and lowered his arm after a beat, sniffling sharply. “*snnnrff!* …‘Scuse mbe.”

 

“Bless you,” Lily said again.

 

“*snnrff, snrf!* Thank you.”

 

“It’s not the guitar’s fault my nerves are wonky. I’m just- my hands are just small,” Lily explained, with tired amusement. With another click, she shut down the computer. She put the guitar inside the case and closed the latches.

 

“Does it still hurt?” he asked her softly.

 

“No, not really,” Lily wiggled her fingers. “Just kind of tingly.”

 

“Well here, give me your hand,” Jonah said, holding out his right hand.

 

Thinking he had some sort of hand exercise or knowledge up his sleeve, Lily showed him her left hand, gently putting it on top of his open palm. His long fingers quickly closed around hers, like a Venus fly trap. Lily grinned. “Jonah-“

 

Jonah’s head turned as he threw the strap of Lily’s duffel bag over his left shoulder, and leaned down to pick up her guitar case. Lily watched, wondering how she ever got to be so lucky to have him around.

 

“Ready? Got your phone, your bag?”

 

“My phone’s in my pocket. My bag is- what about your bag, genius?” she questioned playfully, too shy to have called this patient, gentle man something sweeter, to match the energy he was putting out. Something like ‘honey’, or ‘babe’…

 

“Whoops.” Without letting go of her hand, he put down the guitar and duffel bag. He inched toward his bag, dragging Lily slightly by the hand, making her scoff and roll her eyes. He pulled one strap over his shoulder, briefly let go of Lily’s hand to put on the other, and rejoined hands once it was on.

 

Lily dragged him back a little to grab her own backpack, which she only pulled over her right shoulder.

 

“Ready?” Jonah asked again, with the duffel bag back over his shoulder and the guitar case in his hand.

 

“No,” Lily uttered, glancing back at the computer. She squeezed Jonah’s hand. He squeezed back. Lily’s head turned back around. “…but yeah.”

Edited April 9 by Skylacticon

[secret19]

So so so good. Everyone needs a Jonah in their life!! 😩 I love your male stories, thank you for posting. ❤️

[marzipan]

This is lovely! These quiet, sweet romantic moments - everyday gestures of love - are just the best. Thank you for writing and sharing! 

[AntheaHolmes]

Oh this was such a sweet treat. Thank you! 🌷