Writing Congestion?

[Snzario]

Hi! I've wanted to write a specific FanFiction for a while and I've really wanted to write the dialog where the sick characters sounds almost congested? Or as if they have a cold but I'm not sure how to do that in writing? If anyone has any advice or examples on how you'd write it please let me know!

[AlexK]

This should help. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CongestionSpeak

[Likesn]

The easiest way (I think) is switching the m's with b's and the n's with d's. There are different ways, so check them out and find what suits you best.

[Sitruuna]

gods I hate that TV tropes article/page because it highlights all the ways to write "stuffy talk" that make my brain hurt 😅😂

I agree though that the easiest (and safest and most logical) way is to do the m>b and n>d switches. Additionally you could drop the n from <ng> or maybe replace it with an apostrophe (thing > thig ~ thi'g). I personally can't stand it when people repkace non-nasal sounds with b or d in their "stuffy talk"... it just makes no sense to me 😅

imo another good option is to simply describe how they sound.

[Heathcliff]

4 hours ago, Sitruuna said:

I personally can't stand it when people repkace non-nasal sounds with b or d in their "stuffy talk"... it just makes no sense to me 😅

There are some absolutely brilliant examples of ‘inventive’ stuffy talk that I’ve seen in the past. Didn’t someone once write ‘bathroom’ as ‘mathbroom’? 😅

[Sitruuna]

6 hours ago, Heathcliff said:

There are some absolutely brilliant examples of ‘inventive’ stuffy talk that I’ve seen in the past. Didn’t someone once write ‘bathroom’ as ‘mathbroom’? 😅

Someone did indeed... I've also seen some very creative examples outside the forum. Such as writing "thank you" as "thanb bou" and "verry" as "veddy". 😅

[angora48]

In general, focus on just doing the m-->b and n-->d swaps when you're writing, and then when you're editing, check to see if there are words that aren't clearly understandable anymore. I like to stick as close to standard spellings as possible, but certain words aren't as clear with just straight swaps. Here are a few examples that I tend to change for better readability:

I'm-->I'be

No/know-->Doh

Anyone-->Addywud

Didn't-->Didded't

As you write more, you start to get a feel for what works with straight swaps and what needs to be adjusted a little.

 

It also depends on how congested the character is. When someone is just starting to get sick, or when they're on the mend, I like only do about half my m-->b and n-->d swaps. And in those passages, I might do more right after they sneeze or less right after they blow their nose.

Example from one of my fics (*cough*shameless self-promotion!*cough*):

“Do you have a cold?” Leslie asked, surprise in her voice. It shouldn’t have taken her this long to realize it.

“Uh, yeah,” Ben replied, “starting to get wud.” He rubbed his nose sheepishly, if it was possible to rub a nose sheepishly.

“Well, why didn’t you say something?” Leslie asked him. “I wouldn’t have dragged you out in the rain. I’d have made Tom do it.”

“Thed for your sake, it’s probably good that I didn’t say addything,” Ben responded with a wry crook of a smile.

 

If they're just at the *very* start, sometimes I'll pair the letters instead of swap them.

Another example:

He broke off suddenly, frowning. “What’s wrong?” he asked Shang-Chi. “You’re standing with your mbouth open like a fish.”

“No! I, uh--” Shang-Chi sputtered, his brain still cantering to catch up with the situation. “I just… are you sick?”

“I have a smball cold,” Dad replied, nonchalantly, as if they weren’t in unprecedented territory here.

“I didn’t think you could get sick,” Shang-Chi noted.

Dad’s eyes considered a smile, but his mouth wasn’t in full agreement. “Thandks to the power of the Tend Rings, I’m ageless,” he explained. “That’s not the sambe thing as being indvulnerable.”

 

One last example, showing full swaps for a character who's really in the thick of a cold:

“You make yourself sound like such an inconvenience,” Jen noted. “It’s really not a big deal.”

“I feel like ad idcodvedience.” The words were out of Matt’s mouth before he quite realized he’d said them.

Jen put a soft hand on his arm. “I keep telling you—”

“I doh,” Matt admitted quietly. “But, I dod’t doh, I cad’t help it. I feel…id the way, add udpleasant. Add—add like I’be baking byself your probleb. I—” He could feel a tickle building in his throat. He turned to the nightstand for his water, but in his haste, he knocked the glass over.

 

Edited April 18 by angora48
added one more example