The sneeze heard around the break room! (Superstore)

[thefuzzydarkness]

Amy walked into Cloud 9 and clocked in as usual. Garrett's eating cheez itz at customer service, Dina's interrogating some teenager for trying to steal a can of monster, and Jonah is… Wait where is Jonah? That was weird, Jonah was always there before her. "Maybe he's in the break room." She walked over that way. She needed to put some stuff in her locker anyway. She was just about to open the door when she heard "ittchu ii..ittchhuu iittchuu!" She opened the door to see Jonah blowing his nose. His face looked flushed and his nose was starting to redden. Instead of his usual flannel he was wearing a light sweater under his cloud 9 vest and his hair looked like it hadn't been brushed. "Wow, was that you? You sneeze like a kitten." Jonah looked up at her annoyed "I do dot sdeeze like a… a… ittchuu!" Amy laughed, "Aw wittle kitty got a cold?" Jonah started to come back with a witty retort when he started coughing. Ok now she was starting to actually get worried. "Seriously Jonah are you ok? You look awful." He sniffled and pawed his nose with his sleeve. "I'b fide. It's just allergies." She wasn't convinced. "It's November Jonah. Plus I've never seen you with allergies before." He shrugged "Fall allergies. Adyway I've got to get to hobegoods." He grabbed the tissue box from the table and walked out of the break room. Ok something was really up. Usually when Jonah didn't feel good it turned into a Shakespearean drama. Three months ago when he got an ear infection it was all "Friends it is my time. I can see the light as it descends upon me. Goodbye." But now he's clearly trying to hide the fact that he's sick. It just didn't make any sense. Amy needed to investigate. She walked back over to customer service.

 "Hey Garrett, did you notice anything weird going on with Jonah?" 

"Is there ever not anything weird going on with Jonah?" Amy shrugged. He had a good point. "No I mean anything physically weird?" Garrett thought about it. "I mean not really. I barely saw him this morning though. Why?" 

"It's just that I found him sneezing and coughing in the break room this morning and when I asked him if he was ok he said it was just allergies."

"Well then it's probably just allergies. Jonah's a total drama queen. If he was sick then he'd let us know." Amy nodded. He made sense and it was none of her business anyway. She'd never understand why she cared for Jonah this way. "Thanks Garrett you're right." He smiled, "I'm always right." Amy decided to work in hardware that day. It was right next to homegoods just...in case. She was putting away what felt like a million boxes of nails when "ittchuu iiittchhu ittchu ittchu IITTCHU" She looked over to see Jonah sitting on the floor trying to put away some command hooks that were now scattered everywhere. She put a hand on his shoulder "Bless you." He grabbed a tissue from a now half empty box and wiped his nose "Thagks" as they started to pick everything up Jonah started coughing again. His nose had now thoroughly reddened and he was shivering slightly. She brought her hand to his forehead. He definitely had a fever. Before he could even respond to that she untied her jacket from around her waist and put it over his shoulders. He sniffled and looked up at her with a confused look on his face "Amy I'b fide. I told you it's just allergies. I dod't deed your… iitchhuu… scuse mbe… I dod't deed your jacket. I'b really ok."

"Really? I've never heard of allergies that cause chills and a fever and you can't even get through a full sentence without sneezing. Jonah, you're sick. You should be at home eating soup, not sitting on a cold floor. Why didn't you call in today?" Jonah shrugged "I just thought it would be ok I guess." He coughed into his elbow again. "Look I'm only scheduled for a half day today anyway and you're in no shape to drive. How about I tell Glenn what's going on and I can take you over to my place?" Jonah raised an eyebrow "Tryig to get be back to your place?" Amy lightly punched his arm "It's not like that. It's a mom thing. It's in my nature to care for people." Jonah pulled Amy's jacket around him "Well I really do feel cared for. I bean that dot id a sarcastic way." Amy smiled.     

"Well good. I'm gonna go talk to Glenn and while you go sit right over there on that"

"Iitchhuu""

...bench. And try not to sneeze on everything." Jonah gave a thumbs up and sat down. Amy quickly made her way over to Glenn's office and made the arrangements before heading over to the pharmacy for supplies. She checked out and walked back over to the bench to find Jonah fast asleep.

He woke up in an unfamiliar room. He was super congested and his throat was on fire. He was covered with a purple comforter and on the nightstand was a picture of.. Emma? It all came rushing back to him. He was at work feeling terrible and Amy took him back to her place to...take care of him? He looked around. He'd imagined himself in this room so many times but it was weird actually being here. This isn't exactly how he thought he'd get into Amy's bed. He started coughing again. His chest was so heavy. Amy entered the room holding a tray with soup,tissues and medicine on it.

"You're awake, good. I've got some medicine for you. Do you want some soup?"

He shook his head, "I'b dot hungry." 

"Well you need to eat so you can take something for that cough. Oh and here."

She handed him the box of tissues. "Thagks" he blew his nose. It did nothing but make his headache worse. "God, you sound awful." 

"I feel awful." 

"Well here, eat some of this soup and then you can take a nap."

Before he could respond his breath hitched.

"Iitchuu… ii..Iiittcchuu" He started coughing again. This time it sounded wet and extremely painful. Almost like Jonah was trying to tear through his lungs. Amy looked over sympathetically and rubbed Jonah's back.

"On second thought maybe you shouldn't be holding a bowl of hot liquids right now." She grabbed the spoon, filled it with soup, and brought it to his lips. Jonah raised an eyebrow.

"What do airplade doises?" She giggled. Even at a time like this he managed to make her laugh. She reared the spoon back "Whoosh Captain Amy requesting permission to land?" Jonah smiled, opened his mouth, and ate the spoonful of soup. "Success!" Amy shouted, grabbing another spoonful. About halfway through the bowl Jonah felt a little tickle in his nose. "Iittchhu IiTTCHUU ITTCCHHUU!"

He hadn't had time to turn away. He was staring at a surprised Amy whose face was now covered in spray. "Oh by god Aby! I'b so sorry! I.." he started coughing again. Amy wiped her face with a tissue and put her arm around Jonah's shoulders. "It's ok. I've got a kid. This isn't the first time I've been sneezed on. Now that you've eaten, how about you take some medicine?" Jonah nodded, still trying not to cough. Amy filled a small cup with bluish green liquid and handed it to Jonah. 

"Wait is this dyquil? I guess that beans I'b stayig over huh?" 

"Well considering you came into work like this I wouldn't trust you to take care of yourself if I sent you home. Besides, it's no fun being sick all alone." 

"But what if you get sick?"

"You just sneezed on my face and now you're worried about that?"

He shrugged. She had a point. He downed the nyquil in one fell swoop.

"Good now put this under your tongue."

She handed him a thermometer and he put it under his tongue. He rubbed his eyes as the thermometer whirred. The nyquil was doing its job fast. Finally it beeped and Amy took it out.

"Give it to be straight doc."

Amy sighed "101.5. Not dangerous but still not good. You need some rest." As if on cue Jonah yawned. Amy picked up the tray and began walking towards the door.

"Wait Aby.."

"Yes?"

"Will you stay with be?"

She thought for a second then nodded and put down the tray. She sat on the edge of the bed. She could feel him shivering a bit and before she knew what she was doing she lifted up the comforter, slipped underneath it and threw her arm around Jonah. He cuddled into her grateful for the warmth. They stayed like that in happy silence for a time until she heard soft snoring coming from him. She smiled "Good. He really needed the rest."

She closed her eyes and let the sound of Jonah's heartbeat lull her into a deep sleep. Amy opened her eyes as the soft light of daybreak peeked through the window. She looked over at her alarm clock. It was six am. Jonah was still snoring softly into her now fully numb arm. She felt his forehead. It was still warm but definitely better. She slowly pulled her arm out from under him and got out of the bed. He furrowed his brow and turned over but luckily he didn't wake up. She crept down the stairs and made some coffee. While she was waiting she decided to call Glenn. "Hey Glenn it's Amy. Listen Jonah's not going to be able to come in today. He's still got a fever and everything."

"Aww poor Jonah. Tell him I hope he feels better."

"I will. Thank you Glenn."

"You betcha Amy! See you tomorrow!"

"Was that Gledd?"

She turned around to see a completely disheveled Jonah. He was in his undershirt from the day before and a pair of Adam's old pajama pants that were twice his size. He held a tissue to his drippy red nose.

"Yeah I let him know you're not gonna be there today."

"Thagks."

"Don't mention it. You hungry?"

"Starving."

"Good, I was just about to make breakfast."

She made eggs and toast while trying not to make eye contact with him. What could she say about last night? Should she even say anything? Maybe he was too drugged and sick to remember it anyway.

"Iittchhu...iittcchuu!"

"Bless you. How are you feeling?"

"Better actually. I thigk I deeded a good dights sleep bore thad adythig. And thagks...for stayig with be."

"Of course…here let me feel your forehead." 

As she touches his forehead he brings her in close and they kiss passionately for a moment. Jonah pulls away

"I'b sorry dow your defiditely godda get sick." Amy smiled and pulled him back in not caring about the consequences. Two days later Jonah is back at Cloud 9. He's still got a little cough but otherwise he's no worse for wear. He's walking toward grocery when he hears

"Ihishiew ih-ISHIEW!"

He sees Amy in women's clothing trying to fold a sweater. She's wearing a parka under her Cloud 9 vest and her nose is clearly dripping. He puts a hand on her shoulder.

"And you said I sneeze like a kitten…"

 

 

 

[sneezy_frnk]

Jonah would totally have tiny kitten sneezes, and I bet his cheeks would get such a cute pink flush as soon as he gets a lil warm ❤️